User talk:Mordillo/archive16

Wow. It's blank here.

Guess that's cause nobody likes you. Unlike that pussy at the top of your page. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:35, September 12, 2009 (UTC)grbglsrgbsrgojgfnbsfnmbls;g;hlbnksmfgjnfgkljfkhfkghlghhfghflkjhfkghflhgfhlkfgfjghjgfhjjhkghfgkhhjkghkhjghkjhkjhkjghkjhkhjhjhkjhfjhfs;gnfjhnbisrtgbrtjtjgfsnbhkfgbr tgb srt rtgkb hr st bhk rtgb sgb nsfbnf gb bnksfbn fnsdf gnf gn fgn sfgnfg

/me opens black notebook: Dexter 1, Socky 1, Luvvy 1, Sycamore 10212412412. ~ 15:36, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

Pretty sure I remember raping your userpage one time. That was when rape was cool.    Orian57    Talk   16:00 12 September 2009

Is that the one you send me flowers the morning after? ~ 16:06, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

No, that was the one where I left you in a ditch bleeding from every second oriface. Flowers are so gay.    Orian57    Talk   16:07 12 September 2009

Oh right, that's the one. And you're right about flowers. Damn homos. ~ 16:09, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

You were very naughty archiving your talk page while I was at work. Now I need to sulk... :( Oh, and I think my score should be 2. Since your talkpageheader a few archives ago says "this page is officially raped by Luvvy, for a better tomorrow" or something like that, Grampadillo... :P -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 00:05, 13 Sep

You are right as always. I'll give you a bonus one as well. So it's 3 points for you! ~ 22:41, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Yay! I feel special! (Ain't it nice to have special needs uncyclopaedic grandkids on uncyc, Grampadillo?) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:14, 14 Sep

Administrator Mordillo

This is what you posted on my talk page.

I removed the picture because of the sheer idiocy of this whole issue. ie - EMC being so stubborn about this and you getting offended over such a nonsense. I mean, seriously, the both of you are a bit over the top over this one. Remember this place is for fun? You could have just uploaded a horrible picture and claim it was him. Or his mother. Let's get over this and continue with our lives. Also, EMC, in case you read that - she asked you nicely didn't she? You could have dealt with this better. Mordillo 09:00, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

Moridllo you don't get this at all. You NEVER tell somebody who's totally upset they're being idiotic! Even if you thought I was being silly. You're an admin and you should know better. It was not silly I really believed I was being harrassed. I asked EMC to stop over and over again and he didn't. But I guess he didn't see that so it's not his fault. I saw your answer and if that was it I would have left. Then from what he said Why do I need to provide this? would have left too. If he hadn't figured out what happened I would be gone. He's totally right. I thought EMC was still reverting even after he said he was sorry and knew I was upset which would be totally hypocritical and wrong. But he wasn't. Maybe you don't care about me. But you should care about losing Why? You can see he's going to be Noob of the Month. You would have lost him too. How many other people could leave Uncyclopedia because you said they were being idiotic? It was a misunderstanding and you made it much, much worse. You need to learn something about solving conflicts if you're going to arbitrate. If you're trying to fix a conflict you don't say it's nonsense even if you think it is. Admins are supposed to solve problems not cause them! I've lost respect for you. I hope you do better in the future. I still don't know what I'm going to do, if I'm going to stay or go, but I'm not mad at EMC anymore. I see it was a misunderstanding. But am I misuderstanding that you're calling my feelings "sheer idiocy" and "nonsense?" DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 17:48, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

tl;dr. But seriously, let it die. It was a lame joke that offended you. 'Kay. The issue is dead and buried. Now, let's get back to talking about how Albert Fish stuffed his asshole with flaming alcohol balls. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:55, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

:O he did what!?    Orian57    Talk   17:56 12 September 2009

I know. Fuckin' awesome, right? He also ate shit and children that he molested. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:59, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

But you're not meant to fuck or eat children -- there;s laws against it!    Orian57    Talk   18:02 12 September 2009

Gotta fight da powah, man! Fight da powah! Wow. Flavor Flav actually had a purpose in the 80s... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:05, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

Phew, where do I begin?

OK, let's analyze this whole issue. First of all, you might have noticed I never called you an idiot nor I called your feelings nonsense. I said that the whole dramathon ensuing over such a silly issue, was idiotic. Let me emphasize it again - I did not say "Miley is an idiot". I still think that both of you blew the whole thing out of proportion - and being here for a while I saw conflicts that could have escalated to physical violence. So yes, this issue was nonsensical as far as I'm concerend. So, apologies if you didn't like my wording, even though I still believe my message was correct for the occasion.

As for the other bits and bytes. I'm currently not discussing what lead to this whole incident and EMC's behavior, which I already voiced my opinion about. Your behavior was not exactly of a model editor as well. First of all, revert warring (even if you "just" changed the caption) is unacceptable. As soon as you saw there's a conflict you should have stopped it there, and approached one of the admins. But you continued with reverting EMC. That's a bannable offense. Noticed that you're not banned? Good. Maybe I'm not such a heartless bastard after all, because it would have been the easiest to ban you and EMC for a week and end it there.

Second thing, the whole thing of you coming over telling me "you don't need to do that", "you should know better" and "perhaps you don't care about me". Lady, the reason I'm spending hours every day for nearly three and a half years in this place is because I care. I care about you all and I care too much. But in the grand scheme of things I can't nurse into health every single user that got offended because of something that happened, something I said or something that someone else said, because I'm busy banning vandals, deleting shit, fixing errors, featuring the front page, featuring Unnews and every now and then even write. So don't you come here, after being here for a month or so, and tell me that I should know better. I dealt with the issue as quickly and as painlessly as I could. Picture removed, I managed to avoid banning both you and EMC - something that I'm always trying to avoid. There, issue should have been solved.

Once more, I must stress that both yourself and EMC were out of line here, so don't think I'm taking any sides here.

As for the respect issue, that's now the second time you come over to my talk page and tell me that you're pissed at me. The first time you did I took the time to give a response. You didn't bother to respond, and I thought to myself - oh well, it's obviously not that important to her. This time, I wrote another very earnest response. I hope that this time you take the time reading it and maybe even grace me with a response, so perhaps I can maintain a little respect for you.

Bottom line, I hope not to lose anyone because of this incident, I hope both you and your protegé stay, as you are both promising editors. And by the end of the day, this is a humor wiki, and I missing some humor lately ~ 20:50, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

I don't remember what I talked about before sorry! Anyway I'm sorry I got so upset but I had a lot of other problems so I was already upset when it started. I still don't think you should have called it idiotic, but whatever. Anyway I'm back and I'll try not to be such a Drama Queen. :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:52, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

This isn't actually a response to what you posted above, Mordillo, but to what you posted on my user page. I'm putting it here so it will be convenient. I can imagine it wouldn't be practical for an Admin here to keep up with everyone's user page. I haven't talked to very many people in my short time here, and I'm having to work to keep up.

You wrote: "When a conflict happens on a wiki, the more users butting in, the more mayhem, the more people upset. I did not need the whole explanation you left on various talk pages on what is, essentially, a simple miscommunication between to editors. I removed the picture, case closed. You might know other wikis, but I've been dealing with conflicts here for over three years. Next time - please stay out of conflicts you are not part of, even if you have good intentions. Thanks. ~ 14:58, September 12, 2009 (UTC)"

First, I respect the position of Admin. Second, I respect that you and other Admins have volunteered to walk waist deep in the Uncyclopedia sewer in an attempt to mop it all up, which is of course an endless task. Third, I agree that "too many cooks spoil the broth." I would have stayed out if I believed the situation was resolved. You may say it was "case closed." But as happened the problem was actually escalating. So I stepped in, researched in more detail than you, with your other responsibiliities as Admin, would have had time to do. I understand that there's a great deal that you have to work on here, and you can't spend all your time on one thing.

Fourth, the only pages I posted my research or explanation on were yours, as you were the Admin involved, and the talk pages of the two users involved. I think it would have been inappropriate for me to have shared it with one of the parties involved and not the other, and didn't want to leave you out. Fifth, one of the parties involved welcomed me and adopted me, and thanked me for doing what I did. Sixth, obviously you've had much more experience here than me, and I don't intend to get into a "who's edited wikis longer and done more conflict resolution" contest, and I don't believe you want to either. My primary point is simply that I think that, when strong emotions are involved, it's wiser for a person in a position of authority to avoid words like "nonsense" and "idiocy." I think the point could have been communicated without that.

I remember once telling a friend who was in a position of authority that he might want to speak softer. Because he was an authority, when he raised his voice a little it would sound to those who respected his position and recognized his power like he was yelling and screaming. Anything a person in authority says is magnified, especially when we're talking about the perspective of a user who is still fairly new here herself. For example, if I say something to a reporter that's slightly off color, it probably won't even get in the paper. If an elected official says the same thing, it will be talked about for days in newspapers, on TV, radio and the Internet. In any case, thank you for your work here. I'm sure this place would be a complete sewer if it weren't for admins like you. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:43, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

Administrator Mordillo

Did I miss the part where you dug up those templates for me? Also, thanks for reminding me about IC. It had kinda slipped to the back of my mind. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:57, 12 Sep

Sorry, sorry - here they are: HowTo:Featured, {{HowTo:TotD}} and HowTo:Recent. With the Why? area, can you ask Socky? I don't know that area as good. Thanks! How is the missus btw? OK? ~ 21:09, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

She's doing well, thanks for asking. It was pretty sudden so everybody's still accepting the situation, her mom especially, but they're moving forward. They were pretty close so it's going to be a while before things are "ok" again. Ta for the templates, I'll get with Socky about the Why? stuffs. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:38, 15 Sep

With all due respect...

Given the way I was taken last time and the over-reaction I had and the subsequent stupidity and blah blah blah... All in the past. But there's yet another conflict with a user - barely more than a n00b, only a day or so later. I am wondering if you are putting too much into it as an admin.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what you do here, and the only time that we have come at loggerheads has been due to a mistake and a misunderstanding, and 99% of the time I think you are potentially the most approachable admin. But I'm thinking that you may want to step back for a minute, take a deep breath, ignore you admin duties for a little. Maybe you should do some writing, or run through a few PEEreviews, or maybe go on a sabbatical, or go and vandalise another wiki. But seriously, just for the sake of yourself, get away from the thankless abuse for a little while, take a breather, and come back in.

And aagin, saying this out of respect for yourself, and friendship, but predominantly out of concern - we both want to see uncyc continue to grow and flourish, and as such a fundamental admin it would be a shame to see you burnt out because you can't let it go once in a while.

Or don't. Your call, but I need to at least let you know that I do appreciate what you do here and I do thank you for it and I do think you deserve a reward but more than anything else I do think you need to relax and de-stress. If I didn't I'd be less of a man for it. Pup t 02:57, 13/09/2009

You're man-hood's on the line Mordillo, no pressure. Also:

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

   Orian57    Talk   03:00 13 September 2009

No... my manhood... and stop eyeing my manhood unless you intend to do something with it. Pup t 03:17, 13/09/2009

/Me pulls out my switchblade. This'll make a fun door bell.    Orian57    Talk   03:30 13 September 2009

or an exotic lolipop Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 03:33 September 13 '09

Or a fun door bell.    Orian57    Talk   03:33 13 September 2009

or a car's transmission shaft Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 03:39 September 13 '09

Or a great novelty door bell.    Orian57    Talk   03:40 13 September 2009

or a rifle's cocking handle Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 03:41 September 13 '09

Or a great door knocking device, thing like wot they have on posh manor houses, but more crass.    Orian57    Talk   03:43 13 September 2009

Exactly! A great door knocking device, thing like wot they have on posh manor houses, but more crass. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 03:48 September 13 '09

Case closed, let's go home everyone.    Orian57    Talk   03:49 13 September 2009

Exactly! Bye bye Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 03:52 September 13 '09

I see that the issue was solved already O_O. POTR, thanks for the concern, I'm doing fine. ~ 14:59, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

What's concern when I gave you a cookie!?    Orian57    Talk   15:04 13 September 2009

That gay thing was a cookie?! ~ 15:44, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Allow me to reiterate:

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

And we all apreciate what you do for the site.    Orian57    Talk   15:47 13 September 2009

Thanks, I'll give that to the misus, maybe she won't beat me up tonight for a change. ~ 15:48, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

yad international

Hey Mordillo. Some time when you get a chance could you put links to the Korean and Russian translations on You are dead?

Russian

• Последняя статья человека

Korean

• 너는 죽었다

Just whenever you can get around to it. Thanks. --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 03:15, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Also, I notice that a few of the international links on the page are obviously not translations of the article. The two Chinese and one Suomi one. I suppose those should be removed. Thanks again. --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 03:18, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Done! Thanks Soso. When are you writing something new? ~ 15:02, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for putting them on. As for writing something new, I just did like a couple weeks ago! Actually, I had another one in the works too, but I realized it would be good for the Turkey Ball so I'm keeping it offline so it can be a valid entry. With the Poo Lit so late I wonder how many entries the Turkey Ball will get, if it happens at all... --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 23:54, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

I think we really need it. When the hell is thanks giving? ~ 07:29, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

I think Thanksgiving is sometime soon before Christmas, yet not long after Christmas of the previous year. That's just by the American calendar, though... --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 15:27, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

Please look at this ASAP

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User:Optimuschris/Super_Secret_Girlie_Page!&curid=413676&diff=4101727&oldid=4100408

It was suggested that if we see a problem, to not get involved in some sort of edit war, but simply report it to an admin. So I'm letting you know. Thanks for your help in fixing this. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:13, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

I want to add that the user who's trying to get this whole problem restarted knows all about it, and in fact "apologized" for starting it:

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User_talk%3AMiley_Spears&diff=4101628&oldid=4101135

Again, thank you for fixing this. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:37, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Apparently another editor is involved (although to be fair I don't know if this user is aware of the problem):

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User:Optimuschris/Super_Secret_Girlie_Page!&curid=413676&diff=4102597&oldid=4101727

King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  13:31, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Removed. Also, I need to clarify what I meant. When you see a problem, it's usually best to first discuss it with the other user. With this case, I'm sure Opty would have removed it of his own accord. If you got into a conflict, then you should talk to an admin. You'll find that talking with people usually solve most of the problems we have around here. Thanks for the heads up. ~ 14:56, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you very much for removing it. I understand what you're saying, and I agree with you. But in this case, Opty knew it was a problem before he ever posted it, and even apologized for starting it. But his apology is rather moot, as he posted it all over again. It appears this was a deliberate attempt to restart the whole mess. Thanks again for removing it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:10, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

I doubt it, I think you'll find that Opty is one of the nicer people around here. I'm sure it was a misunderstanding. ~ 07:28, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

since you said there's not enough humor around here lately

some horses are relaxing at the paddock after a full sunday of racing. one of the horses brags, "i won three out of my eight races today!" another horse responds, "that's impressive, but i've won twenty three of my last forty races." just then a dog wanders by the paddock, overhears the conversation, and chimes in: "ha! i've never lost a race!", to which one of the horses responds, "wow! a talking dog!" SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 07:55, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

wow! A writing Gerrycheevers! Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:45 September 13 '09

heh :), that's almost as good as the funniest joke in the world:

~ 15:06, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

There's worse ways to spend ten minutes I suppose.    Orian57    Talk   15:22 13 September 2009

I tried to find an English translation of the Killer Joke that will kill anyone who hears or reads it (damn, am I stupid), but apparently no one has been able to translate it. But still, I think Hitler's no nose dog joke is pretty funny. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:37, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

There's not enough sex around here recently. Pup t 22:41, 13/09/2009

I said, there's not enough sex around here recently! Pup t 09:21, 14/09/2009

All right, all right. Here you go: ~ 09:43, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

That was... Well I mean, I don't think I've ever made such a mess.    Orian57    Talk   15:28 14 September 2009

HEY YOU!

My morning ban is several days if not weeks overdue. I'll have to send nude pics of EugeneKay signed "Love ya Mordillo" to Mordillia or something soon... And no-one's gonna enjoy that hairy arse showing up in your post box... *Grumbles* We just got a group assignment on Elton Mayo's management theory or something. HALP! I'm bored... :( -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:31, 14 Sep

Just came to mind, I'd better get a birthday ban from you gramps, since you don't usually give me monies from your dodgy business, because I'm only part Jewish... I gotta get something tomorrows, right? D: Mr Luvvy's sending me flowers by courier... :D -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 08:29, 17 Sep

By courier?! He did hear about the concept of the "Internet" which allows you to "send" "flowers" to "foreign" "countries". "". ~ 08:32, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

He used the internet to pin down a local flower shop that delivers and American Express magic happenes. So does that mean no gilded bagel for me? *sniffles* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:21, 17 Sep

A birthday ban? O_O ~ 09:40, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Or a hugsiecuddle and a wad of cash so I can get a pony. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 10:04, 17 Sep

Good afternoon

You strike me as the sort of person who might overhear stuff worth contributing to our new site. Have a look, when you're not too busy. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:53, September 14, 2009 (UTC) </spam>

JT? Is that JohnTechno? And why are you and Oli the only contributors? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 05:35, Sep 15

Yes it is. There's a few other contributors - erm, well, two or so, anyway - which will hopefully change before long. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:52, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Hey JT, sorry for the long wait, was in Germany checking out the saurkraut situation. I'll take a look. A combination of yourself and Olipro can only be...a...err...ermmm...

Well, never mind. ~ 19:54, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

I believe the term you are looking for, and the result of such an unholy union, is/would be "a seriously ugly child." :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:28, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Rosh Hashanah

Insert Joke About Rabbis and The Horn Here

Have a happy 5770, full of honey and other stuff that probably
wouldn't have been kosher if we'd thought about it more.
from Rabbi Techno
L'shanah tovah

---

shana tova my friend, may you become a head rather than a tail etc. etc. Also, while we're at it, do you have any good recipe for a honey cake? We're preparing a dinner on Friday (I even reserved a gefilte fish in the local Jewmarket). Also, you do know we'll need to write an article about Jewish cuisine at one point. ~ 19:56, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Hmm, haven't made honey cake in years due to it being an animal product but I've got as recipe in one of my many cookery books, so I'll try to track it down before tomorrow morning and pass it on to you. We too will be preparing some sort of celebratory dinner - the missus loves this time of year because it's the only time when I'll willingly cook fish for her and I'm going to make more rugelach because the last load I made got scoffed by a load of greedy party-goers and I only got a mouthful of it. Makes me wonder actually, could honey cake be made with apricot jam (like the rugelach was) instead of honey...? It'd mean it had about ten million calories, but what's the point of Jewish festivals if not to eat ridiculously fattening food (Yom Kippur excepted)? Good idea for a Jewish cuisine article, btw - I'll give that some thought. How was Germany? I love that country, especially the Black Forest and the Alps, had many a happy holiday there as a child. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:26, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Found it. Ingredients - 3 separated eggs, 340g honey, 225g sugar, 100g olive oil, 450g all purpose or cake flour, 60g chopped almonds, 2tsp baking powder, pinch of salt.

Oven 180 C, baking time approx. 50 minutes. You'll also need a baking tin and three mixing bowls.

Grease the baking tin with olive oil and line with greased baking paper.

Combine the egg yolks with 170g sugar, 250g honey and 75g olive oil. In another bowl, combine the remainder of the dry ingredients. In a third bowl, whip three egg whites until foamy. Then add the remaining sugar until the mixture forms soft peaks.

Whisk the combined dry ingredients into the wet ingredients, then fold in a quarter of the egg white mixture. Once done, fold in another quarter and repeat until all ingredients are mixed together.

Bake at 180 C, check the cake after 40 by sticking a skewer into it - if it comes out clean, the cake is ready. If not, bake for a further ten to twenty minutes.

Enjoy! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:52, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Did you say olive oil? That's bizarre! And thanks! ~ 09:03, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Does sound odd, doesn't it? But I'm pretty certain this is a recipe I've used in the past and it worked out perfectly fine - I can't see why you couldn't use canola oil instead, but I think normal vegetable oil would make the cake a bit soggy and probably affect the smell. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:36, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Solution

Hi again Mordillo, I was just doing some maintenance and I removed an addition to Somalia by this user. The user took offence to this and replaced the text, I had a word on their talk page as to why I had removed their addition, and reverted it again. The user, as far as I can tell, ignored the message and replaced the text again. I was hoping, rather than start a revert war over a very minor edit, I would ask you for your opinion. Am I taking it too seriously? Thanks --ChiefjusticeDS 17:30, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Hi Chief. I think with this one you might take it a bit too seriously. It was just one line right? And the article is crap anyhow, so I wouldn't put too much energy in this one. Also, I find that if you start a conversation with "DON'T DO THAT AGAIN" you rarely get positive results :) ~ 20:00, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Fair point, I shall be more charming in future. --ChiefjusticeDS 20:02, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

RE: IP Nemesis

The only reason he was reverting me was because I reverted him. You can see in his contribs he removed content from Roman Dog Bird's user page and talk page, I saw this happen in wikia's countervandalism IRC channel and reverted him. He then proceeded to continue to remove content from Roman Dog Bird's and my user pages. The second IP I also saw remove content from a page in the IRC channel and reverted. It has nothing to do with other wikis :). Grunny ^(Talk) 09:27, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

OK, he just seemed very insisted on blanking your page. O_O ~ 09:36, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, but he was insisting on blanking Roman Dog Bird's first. He only blanked mine because I was reverting his constant blanking of Roman Dog Bird's page. :-) Grunny ^(Talk) 09:38, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Oh well, as long as everyone's happy. ~ 09:44, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Well, I ain't too happy (even though I say "Thanks!" in the end)! Hell, I know it comes with the job and all and I've delt with it before, but this guy, see, he kept blanking the Sandbox talk page for some reason (again, I have no idea why, maybe some chick said she'd go down on him?). So since I banned him and some of his socks and protected the talk page until New Years Eve, little Mr. (Miss?) Prissy Pants got all pissed off and fucked with my shit! But it's thanks to the efforts of you fine folk (and, uh, Socky, sure, whatever), that the st00pid nigguh was prevented from permenantly messin' wit me! Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111one1111111111!!!!!!!! (that thanks needs to be read as if I'm shouting it so loud that it could be heard from another continent) -- Roman Dog Bird 14:51, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

RDB, lay off the coffee. Seriously. ~ 14:56, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Dude, I haven't had any coffee in weeks. I only got four hours of sleep this morning, man! There's new doors being installed in my house, so it woke me up.....prematurely. So I usually go to bed past 5:00 AM and woke up at 9:00 cuz of all the banging and doors being torn out of their hinges or whatever the hell it is that's going on. I'm usually not up until noon! Or later! Conclusion? I need a job or something. No college for me, thank you very much mister richard smoker. -- Roman Dog Bird 16:52, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

OK then, lay off the renovation? ~ 17:18, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Star Wars (2010)

Star Wars sequel announced, may contain disturbing twists The controversial 2010 remake of Star Wars will have a sequel. This unpopular move was sparked after the remake was voted #1 for August 2009 by Uncyclopedia. "We felt we may as well use the freedom given to us when we virtually wiped out 33 years' worth of continuity," said co-producer and co-director George Lucas, all the while taunting the editors at Wookieepedia. Most reaction has been decidedly negative, with critics saying that "Lucas will most certainly take cues from the Devil himself" and that "he will most certainly manage to do what he did with the last film—make us regret being Star Wars fans."

Thanks for voting for this into August's Top 3! Sir MacMania GUN—[20:32 16 Sep 2009]

Help!

Hey Mordillo, I need your help as an admin. I forgot my password, and I didn't enter my email into the website. If I give you my email and username, can you give me my password? --67.164.215.14 04:25, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Ha! Yeah right. There isn't a single way to prove that you aren't some person trying to hack another's account. Besides, admins don't know passwords of users, so you aren't gonna get it, anyway. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 04:43, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

You'll need to talk to Sannse about any password retrieval. However, since there is no email account in the system, I'm fairly certain she'll be unable to help you either. You'll probably need to create another account. --Mn-z 04:46, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

hi, i heard you're an admin. can you email me the password, personal bank account information, and any and all erotic media of my username 'mordillo' to my email address? thx. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 08:19, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

So which one of you are actually on my retainer? I tend to get confused. Also, Gerry, I'll be needing your email and uber secret password to send you me details. ~ 11:28, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Also, Mnb, I just found out you're actually my grandson via Yettie. What do you want for xmas? ~ 11:35, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

whosasexybeast@uncyclopedia.com. password: modusoperandi SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:41, September 20, 2009 (UTC)

Hey Huffer

I uploaded File:Plane Crazy 2.jpg for the article Pedobear that Miley's working on. But I made an altered version that works much better. Could you go ahead and huff [[File:Plane Crazy 2.jpg]]? Thanks. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:37, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

I can, but you can just upload your new version on top of this one. ~ 11:27, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Did I miss something?

I hate featuring stuff - the main page never seems to change when I do it, and I get all paranoid. Did I break something again, or is it all fine but not displaying on my computer a-fucking-gain? Also, how are you man? --UU - natter 09:00, Sep 20

) It always takes a few minutes to update, I looked at the templates and it looks fine, probably will change in 10 minutes or so. Not bad, actually going to London tomorrow for a couple of days. How is you? How was Rome? ~ 09:06, September 20, 2009 (UTC)

Rome? Awesome. Me? On tenterhooks waiting for an offer on a house to be accepted. How's you and the missus? --UU - natter 09:09, Sep 20

Good luck with that! We're also about to have a mortgage meeting. We're getting old eh? ~ 10:06, September 20, 2009 (UTC)

I'm getting old, you're ancient... ;) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 17:15, 20 Sep

VFH

It's really not a conspiracy theory and I don't think you should even have a say you weren't even on the page. I was trying to stand up for what is right, but whatever just stick to your job. --Legolas11 01:14, September 21, 2009 (UTC)

You gotta fight! For your right! To be pissy! The Beastie Boys 12:10, September 21, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost September 10/17

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now Delivered Trendily Late!

Date September 17th, 2009 • Issue 64 • Consistently Declining Readership Since 2008!

Uncyclopedians Continue Hostile Takeover of Wikimedia By Bad Shroom This week, noted user Electrified mocha chinchilla got a short but somewhat hostile reply from the lackluster Wikimedia Foundation. After telling truths to the company such as taking control over Wikipedia and how Uncyclopedia is 104% fact, a Wikipedia Foundation employee under the subtle disguise "Philippe XXXXXX" replied in a manner that was both honorable and robust. Confounded by the foundation's kindness, e|m|c quickly replied with a rebuttal seeming more like a terrorist threat like a thank-you note. Even though Uncyclopedia has not managed to even get off Wikia's back, some users have a bright, world domination-esque outlook to the future. UFFL Update By Guildensternenstein Week One of the UFFL season was full of thrills, spills, birth control pills, and shitty rhymes. The John Curry All-Stars bested The Oklahoma City Storm 93.08 – 74.54 after a sub-par performance from offensive giants Larry Fitzgerald and Michael Turner on the Storm side, not to mention the controversial decision to sit starting quarterback and country singer enthusiast Tony Romo. The appropriately-named Dudes edged Cheddar’s Doritians 98.42 – 96.06, despite the fact that Dudes manager Frank Zappa was high the entirety of the game. Injuries to key Doritian players Donovan McNabb and LaDainian Tomlinson made the loss extra-hard to swallow. The not-so-domestic Domestic Team Name blew out DiBiase’s Millions 112.82 – 67.16—a loss which caused Millions’ manager Woody Onfire to question the not-sucking-ness of his team publicly. Finally, Sternensteinenstine annihilated the ironically-named Winnerz 123.92 – 0.00 after Winnerz manager Al Davis forgot to edit his team’s starting roster for the week. The lop-sided German victory was aided by a career day from Saints’ quarterback Drew Brees and round-the-clock Luftwaffe air cover in conjunction with concentrated armored thrusts at the enemy’s flanks. Lead Editor Returns to UnSignpost Office, Demands to Know Whereabouts of Bundt Cake By Gerrycheevers This week Active Lead UnSignpost editor Gerrycheevers stumbled back onto the Uncyclopedia scene amid much celebration and hooplah. While settling down to his usual routine of getting UnSignpost issues polished off stylishly late, he noticed that his office at the UnSignpost wing of Uncyclopedia had been raided, and his delicious bundt cake had been mercilessly stolen. Gerry immediately declared a halt to the UnSignpost presses, which involved Sockpuppet of an unregistered user using several pints of holy water and a rubber chicken, in order to plea for the safe return of his tasty cake. Please, mystery pastry thief, don't leave Mr. Cheevers cakeless and hungry!

Check out these pages! Village Dump becomes worship house for John Stamos Most Inappropriate Smackdown on a Serious Topic Ever* Kanye West sucks cock From our logs: 08:15, September 11, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Klauston (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(well now, it seems I CAN be assed to ban page blanking fucktards. who'd'a thunk it?) 15:45, September 14, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.246.126.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (Blanker: Go blank yourself! Hah! Do you see what I did there? I'm a font of wit.) 23:08, September 17, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.51.144.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Hades was a giant homo who got his shit owned by Hercules, and the only thing you and he will ever have in common is your colossal failure.) Biopic of the Week Since emerging violently from the brain cavity of ThomasPynchonsLeftNut, the quick-witted and devilishly handsome GlobalTourniquet has made quite a name for himself on this silly wiki. With a Writer of the Month victory in July, GT's expert songwriting, strong way with prose, and status as a film connoisseur make him a solid addition to the Uncyc workforce. Old School Featured Article of the Week Humosexuals are individuals who compulsively tell jokes in an effort to engage in the physical act of love. Oftentimes the subject of scorn and the object of violent hunting games in Medieval England, humosexuals have begun to make a name for themselves in contemporary society. Benny Hill (pictured) was perhaps the most famous humosexual, as his antics involving the combination of small vegetables, projectile physics, and the cleavage of buxom females were well recorded. Gerry's Thumbs Up of the Week I'd like to recognize The Woodburninator, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays, Guildensternenstein, and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user for feeding my pet rabbit, Alpheratz, during my unexplained absence. Also I suppose they should mention their efforts in keeping the UnSignpost afloat during that same time period, but this box is mostly in recognition of bunny maintenance.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

This would've gotten here last week, but it's my firs week as paperboy and I got lost. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:43, September 22, 2009 (UTC)

What's the feature?

The featured article seems to be nothing but a picture of a man in glasses with a gap in his teeth, plus a few words. Am I missing something? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:47, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

It's part of Uncyclopedia's new plan to afford an independent host by raising advertising revenue. Once a week we'll be "featuring" not an article, but a product that our advertisers want to sell. We couldn't seal the deal with Proctor & Gamble this week so instead we ran a personal ad for some creepy white guy. Nobody ever said this business was pretty. --C:\syndrome\_ 02:58, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

i believe the proper term for that gentleman is 'handsome devil'. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 03:01, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

I got a kick out of the jokes. But honestly, why was it featured? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:19, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

Heads up

I'm probably teaching you to suck eggs, but it might be worth keeping an eye on this user as I'm fairly certain it's Arse bandit/Oldfarts who seems to have a grudge against us for some reason or another (there are, after all, millions) - apologies if you'd already spotted this one. While I'm about, what's the plan for the Jewish cuisine thing then? Should we just start a userspace article and write down any ideas? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:38, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Och, he has the tendency to chose real ugly nick names :). I'll keep an eye and thanks for the heads up. And yes, let's start something and throw ideas around. ~ 10:07, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Usually ones based around the arse and farting. Both of which are extremely admirable things, of course. Are you going to start the page in your userspace or shall I? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:17, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

voila! ~ 10:47, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Ah ha! Right, I'd better try to come up with some jokes then, hadn't I? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:50, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

What are kenidalach, then? I haven't heard of them. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:51, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

I'm very disappointed with you. ~ 11:56, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Ahhh. I know them as kneidlach, that's why. One of the very few things you can do with matzah flour to make it edible, IMO. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:15, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Tell your boss you've got more important things to do than work, I'm running out of ideas for this article - I'm sure they'll understand and quite possibly give you a payrise for demonstrating to other employees the importance of getting the work/life balance right in order to maximise productivity. Or they might sack you, of course, but hey - it's not the end of the world. After all, you've only got that mortgage to worry about. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:28, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

Well, if they sack me I can always set a Jewish cooking company with you. MOAR MATZAH FOR EVERYONE! ~ 10:55, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

We'd make a fortune with that rugelach I made. Though I say so myself, it was unspeakably delicious. Now all I need to do is work out how I can stop my chollah turning out like a twisted wooden log... Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:34, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

Quality yeast and Kitchenaid. That works for me! ~ 11:59, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

Lebanon - true, true. But they know how to make a decent bottle of wine - Chateau Musar is good stuff. I'm rather partial to, ahem, certain other Lebanese crops too... ;-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:01, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

O_O Jews eat flowers? Is that really Kosher?    Orian57    Talk   14:17 24 September 2009

Do the kosher laws have anything to say about smoking stuff? Can't remember, though I imagine any half-decent rabbi can twist them to mean pretty much anything he or she fancies at the time. /me sticks Rizlas together and skins up half a pound of pork sausages, some prawns, part of a crow and a sciatic nerve to find out what happens... Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:52, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

You have disgraced teh cloth! /facepalm/    Orian57    Talk   14:57 24 September 2009

Gah, this shit tastes almost as bad as the grass I used to grow on a damp flannel on the radiator when I was at university. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:11, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

---

Thank you for protecting my User page. After conversing with them, I had removed personal biographies from, then added a section to, the article documenting a high-school sport they had invented. They started vandalizing, I complained on BP, and admins appropriately deleted their vanity page; now they have a grudge. --SpikeFromNH 11:29, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Not actually sure what this is about, just saw repeated mess around your page. ~ 11:49, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Ah, I deleted some vanity crap, and the idiots in question got their panties in a bunch, so I started banning. You know - the usual. --UU - natter 14:35, Sep 24

Ah, same shit different day. Also, HELLO UU! Do you have a house yet? Can I come over? Can I bring Orian with me? He doesn't eat that much as usually is quiet when he shags. ~ 14:41, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

Afternoon Mordillo, nice to see you. We're still pending a house, although we are at quite an advanced stage - mortgages and the like. With luck, we'll have a place in about a month. And then I'll disappear for days until I get an internet connection up at the new place! How's you? How was your latest trip away? Where were you? What happened? How did you escape conviction for it? --UU - natter 14:50, Sep 24

Well, I was actually in a summit for two days in the ROYAL LANCASTER HOTEL in Londontown. Very posh and I probably couldn't afford it if it was paid by my gracious employer. So yes, a couple of days in good ole Britain. And as always, as I flew back from Heathrow to Schiphol the bloody British immigration asked me - WHERE IS YOUR VISA SIR?! My normal argument that " I don't need one" doesn't seem to work. Bloody Brits. Also, we need to plan a European Uncyclocon. Also, where the hell is MrN?! ~ 14:57, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

for featuring my article. And I got it without any whining! Woo! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 07:29, Sep 24

Isn't that's normally the case? :) ~ 07:35, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

My game

Um, Some feedback would be nice about it, but with the long uncomfortable silence, I don't no if your thinking about deleting it or nominating it or just don't care or is try to claim it for your self or just plain leaving it alone or reviewing it or still reading this long list of things you could be doing or something else or what. Just saying "it's good" well satisfy.--Killer 3.14 00:28, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because if the rumors don't spread at the salon, we must spread them in the news.

September 24th, 2009 • Issue 65 • The Newspaper that Oscar Wilde Might Read Were He Still Among the Living

UnSignpost Subscriber List Trimmed; Remaining Subscribers Urged to Archive Issues, Settle Outstanding Bills, Refrain from Tipping Paperbots By Gerrycheevers This week, the hideously long UnSignpost subscription list was hacked down even further than The Woodburninator and others apparently hacked it down several months ago. This has resulted in a mass decline in the number of useless edits performed by paperbots and brave, bored souls who have nothing better to do than manually edit dozens of userpages on a weekly basis. The dregs that were cast off included those who have not registered an edit in six months, those who are permanently banned or close to it, and those with large, scary dogs that prevent paperbots from completing their routes unchewed. The remaining faithful readers are asked to archive their talk pages if they are excessively long due to many hilarious editions of the UnSignpost, as paperbots are slowed down by the large load times of such pages, and paper-delivering users are likely to be distracted by uproarious back issues. Subscribers are also reminded that the monthly fee for talkpage delivery is seven Uncyclopedia credits. Extremely outdated Uncyclopedia currency, such as Yoinxx, will be subject to exceedingly unfair conversion rates. On a final note, readers are implored to avoid tipping paperbots, as it seems any sort of regular income tends to give robots inklings of sentience, and the last thing we need is Fnoodle organizing the paperbots into a rudimentary union again. UFFL Update By Guildensternenstein It was another exciting week of UFFL action this past Sunday, with 75% of the league’s games qualifying as “blowouts.” Sternensteinenstine bested DiBiase’s Millions 161.54 to 78.94, with the one-two Nazi punch of Drew Brees and Chris Johnson outscoring their helpless opponents alone. The John Curry All Stars had similar success with the Philip Rivers-Marques Colston-Frank Gore combination, and knocked out Cheddar’s Doritians 123.74 to 71.64 in the fourth round. The bout between Domestic Team Name and Oklahoma City Storm went the distance, with Domestic “Team” Name coming away with the split decision 78.14 to 77.28. Finally, Frankreich “The Dude” Zappino demolished his opponent 126.42 to 0.00 in a spectacular first round knockout due to the fact that LL was once again unable to select his starting roster. Standings: Sternensteinenstienenstern (2-0) The Stoners (2-0) John Curry’s Angles (2-0) Domestic Violence (2-0) Sun Chips (0-2) Oklahoma City Bombing (0-2) DeGrasse Goes to Vegas (0-2) The Loserz (0-2)

Check out these pages! The Pay-Per-View Event of the Fortnight! Here. Have a page with so many pictures, it takes forever to load. You're welcome. Urination, small furry rodents, and why Modus has another court date Tuesday. From our logs: 16:19, September 20, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.235.107.11 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Stop being a pain in my tender place) 18:52, September 21, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Arse bandit (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎(Your ban time is six months. I'll give you 10 dollars if you can hold your breath the entire time.) 14:53, September 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.17.99.136 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(oi, no blanking, no stupid redirecting, no crappy pages about people we don't care about, and no ugly nerds. you fail on all counts.) 11:57, September 24, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Abdul321 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Lebanon is a little Kiosk between Israel and Syria. Get over it.) Biopic of the Week Bouncing back and forth between Uncyclopedia and Illogicopedia has been Hindleyite's specialty for some time now. With his in-depth reports on traffic laws, street crime, and sports officiating video games, this banana-eating ite from Hindley is sure to keep Uncyclopedians on their toes for a long time to come. Old School Featured Article of the Week Henchmen are an essential part of any mastermind super-villian's overall business portfolio. Generally, success in plans of world domination, protagonist death, and damsel distress have success ratios directly correlated to the number, competence, and, to a lesser extent, wardrobe snappiness of a bad guy's henchmen. Pointless Nostalgia of the Week We miss when Cajek and Skull would write for the UnSignpost. Those 4+ issues they churned out were golden. You'd be reading and then - all of a sudden - WHAM, a joke would hit you, and Cajek would be all like, "oh my god, it was so dark, and i didn't see him, and he just jumped out in front of me!" Really Small Box That Takes Up Just Enough Space To Even Out Both Sides of This Issue of the UnSignpost of the Week, Because Symmetry Looks Nice Believe it or not, the one above this one.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:04, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

hi

can I have your autograph?--Killer_3.14 23:49, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

game review

thanks for telling me about my game, your a founder of this site and you probably have alot to do and you might not be an android.--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 21:48, September 27, 2009 (UTC)

Nope, not me. It was Chronarion. ~ 18:07, September 28, 2009 (UTC)

Sockpuppetry?

Cross-posted from User talk:Sannse#More possible sockpuppetry - I was too much of a n00b to figure out which admin deals with sockpuppetry reports, and Sannse directed me here...

Anyway, ArtemisFowlThe2nd (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser is the suspected puppetmaster and Yukari'sBestFriend (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser is the suspected sock. Neither has engaged in any major misconduct, but both are known for poor-quality fanboyish writing on anime-related topics and for "spamming" links to said poor-quality articles. The similarity of their editing interests should be obvious from their contributions; see also the revision history of this userfied article. There's also one potential incident of VFD vote-stacking.

I am just an ordinary user, and I have no way to rule out the possibility that this is a legitimate use of an alternate account for security reasons. I would have tried to talk to the user first, but I don't know how to do so politely without using the term "sockpuppet." --Pentium5dot1 (semi-retired) t~^_^~c 17:26, September 28, 2009 (UTC)

Hya, thanks for the heads up. I dropped him a message and if he doesn't respond we'll ask Sannse to check. Also, we hardly look at wikipedia policies as valid in the true universe of Uncyclopedia :) ~ 18:06, September 28, 2009 (UTC)

Strangely, that Wikipedia policy has completely failed to mention "I want to write nonsense while drunk" as a legitimate use of a sockpuppet. pillow talk 17:17, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Yukari'sBestFriend

"Yukari'sBestFriend" is my brother's user. We share the same computer. He hardly ever uses it though. He enjoys playing video games and reading books and manga more than using the computer.

Most of his time on the computer is spent on YouTube than on Uncyclopedia.--ArtemisFowlThe2nd 20:37, September 28, 2009 (UTC)

OK, thanks for the update. ~ 14:47, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Minor thingy

This here. Not an issue, really. Just thought I'd leave you a note, since there was concern it'd go unnoticed. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:54, 29 September 2009

Got im. Sorry, didn't look at the deleted one. It would seem that my cybernetic abilities are failing. ~ 17:13, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

I've apparently been fired

According to this guy. Is this true? —RomanDogBird (Talk•Morgan Freeman•eat my shorts nigga•Hawkman•suck my balls) 21:46, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Afraid so. Please return your badge and banhammer to logistics and sign all release forms. You get a 30 day payment though. ~ 22:17, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Wait a minute, that means bein an admin is a job! Keitei was lying!!! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:21, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Hold on, you mean you haven't been pai...oh, never mind. ~ 22:24, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

I'm not an admin, remember. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:15, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

You're not?! You could have fooled me. Bottom line - non of you are getting paid. ~ 11:02, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Doctor Jekyll and Mister Winkler the Gay

This piece of yours made me laugh. Do you think I should nominate it? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 23:11, Sep 29

Thank you! You know, I never say no to nominating one of my articles even though I doubt very much that this will pass. ~ 11:04, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

I would probably abstain, just on the grounds that there's only so many times you can feature the same in-joke... pillow talk 14:06, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

But this one is an artistic version. Also, FU for abstaining. And for drinking Jack. Yuck. ~ 14:28, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Yes, it is very artistic. That's the reason I wouldn't vote against it. And if it makes you feel any better, I have no intention to abstain from Jack. pillow talk 18:34, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Can I convince you to move into Glenmorangie instead? ~ 20:05, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Although I've never tried Glenmorangie specifically, I usually find that I do not like Scotches. Jack and Jameson are about the only two whiskeys I can tolerate; most others, I've found pretty stomach-turning. pillow talk 20:33, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Oh man. A Bourbon and an Irish Malt. Maybe one day, you'll be lucky, and someone will treat you to an 18 year old Macallan, or if you're really lucky, a Scapa Highland 1993 or a Tomintoul. You'll never look back. Promise! --UU - natter 22:29, Sep 30

What the this topic I can't even...

Jack? JACK? I thought you were cool man. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:37, 30 Sep

What can I say? I'm not a man of cultured tastes. I prefer Filet O' Fish to filet mignon. I'll take an MGD over an IPA. I'd rather watch Cruel Intentions than Dangerous Liaisons. That's just how I roll. Yep. In a fucking Honda Civic. pillow talk 23:44, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

'Tis nommed. I hope it passes! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 23:33, Oct 1

Coop?

Hi, here's one you might like to cooperate on. Or not. The trunk is there, whatever you come up with by way of lyrics or fortunate twists in his fortunate life, feel free to add. Or meet me in chat if you're interested and want to play some idea tennis. -- Style  Guide 09:18, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Hey Multi how are you doing there? I'm afraid I don't know the story, even though the name sounds vaguely familiar...not sure I can contribute a lot to that. ~ 14:46, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Doing fine. As to the story: there is none. Any ideas about a wannabe blues artist who has nothing to worry about - and consequently cannot be relevant - are welcome. The lyrics can be whatever you make up - no need for them to be bluesy or anything, they can be used as samples of his early failures if they aren't. And so forth. -- Style  Guide 18:27, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Why did you delete my page?

OMG! u stupid cunt why did u delete my page

1. He is real and go to [1] if u cunt dont believe me! 2. GET MY PAGE BACK NOW!

When you return tomorrow night, try asking again. This time nicely without using the word "cunt" and "now". I tend to get a bit uncomfortable around those words. ~ 20:04, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

I suppose it happens mostly in conjunction with the non-word "u"? -- Style  Guide 11:12, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

It could be suspected that he would react (positively) to said words in one context. If his missus uses "cock", "cunt", "hard" and "now" in the same sentence. But somehow I can't imagine Mordillia being quite that dirty in her use of language. Or if she does, how do you say such in Hebrew? O_o -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:00, 1 Oct

Modillo's a woman? --Mn-z 15:26, October 2, 2009 (UTC)

No, "Mordillia" is a reference to Mordillo's woman. Who, based on Luvvy's post, may be an Israeli chick. In which case, I am deeply, deeply envious. pillow talk 16:30, October 2, 2009 (UTC)

I'm just daring a guess... He speaks Hebrew, so I'm guessing his missus might speak Hebrew. She might speak Canuckinese for all we know! :D -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 12:15, 4 Oct

2. least bring the thamesdown octagonal bridge back at least.

press (urgent)

as the most prominent journalist on our fair wiki, i have devised the idea of sitting down with a series of peoples who really make uncyclopedia tick, and performing an interview with said individuals for publishing in the unsignpost. as it seems you are one of the gentlemen who can be considered to be mostly 'in charge' around here, i was wondering if you'd care to consent to some sort of brief interview, the contents of which shall be mercilessly hacked and transplanted into the periodical, as usual. convenience dictates this occur on IRC or some other instant-ish medium if possible. what say you to this? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 05:58, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

Sure, as long as it portrays me in the worst possible manner. We can do IRC, which will make the whole time difference issue interesting. ~ 07:01, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

great! well, i work a 9-5 job, only it's 9pm-5am, so i'm accessible pretty much any hour of the day. i'm more available in the monday-wednesday range, does that work for you? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 07:55, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

I have no idea what time zone you're in. I'm in GMT +1. ~ 08:15, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

ha, i just meant that i can make myself available most times during the day. i'm at gmt -5. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 22:40, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

Alrighty, I'll try to come on tonight at some point. ~ 11:13, October 2, 2009 (UTC)

thanks

You have been punched in the cock! For your efforts in editorial assistance to Rev. Zim_ulator, consider your cock punched.

Zimmy! Thank god you're back. It's always a pleasure being cockpunched by your honor. ~ 21:00, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

Holiday greetings!

It's officially now Sukkot here, so here's those Sukkot greetings I mentioned earlier. Don't use them up all at once, they've got to last seven days. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:35, October 2, 2009 (UTC)

Hag Sameach indeed! Even though I have to work during a holiday. Bloody Goyim! ~ 07:37, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Hah, I know that feeling. It can be made to work iny our favour - years ago, when I was a student and working for a supermarket, I managed to convince the HR manager that one particular day I wanted off work was in fact "Yom Brechot, when Jews are strictly forbidden from working for religious reasons." You have to love equal rights laws, and trusting Goyim. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:24, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, and while I'm about, this might be fertile ground for a future article. Fancy another collab at some point? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:31, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

I don't see any choice in the matter. ~ 12:36, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Just too obvious, really, isn't it? I'm sure we can come with far better images than a dinosaur wearing a yarmulke too. Velociraptor as mohel springs to mind... Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:41, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Please, I have horrible images in my head at the moment! ~ 12:45, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Hmm...wondering how it might be possible to work in some barbed satirical comments on certain fundamentalist types and their refusal to belive in dinosaurs here. Also, I wonder if we might in fact have evolved from dinosaurs - it's explain Esther Rantzen's scary teeth. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:59, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Well, there's a start. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:44, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Ha`shem yishmor! Two collabs in the same time?!?! ~ 13:56, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Glad you got rid of that Dr Istvan Pogany article - I remember the case with the student being in the news not so long ago, I can quite easily imagine that might have been taken further and become a legal matter. Which is the last thing we need, obviously! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:46, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

Other than the fact I hate cyberbullies, there wasn't a grain of funny in it. ~ 09:53, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

Oh yes, I forgot to mention it was crap. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:55, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

Chicago Destroyed

Not sure what you mean by fails. There appeared to be nothing wrong with the article, so I'm just curious as to why it was huffed.

Hya, I found it lacking in humor. The whole thing of being nuclear bombed, mayor pushed off etc, was quite random. It was also very short and you left the source template borked. If you'd like, I can restore it to your space where you can work on it further. Perhaps find a different concept for it, as the city of Chicago needs to pay indeed. ~ 07:33, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

It's almost time, you sexy judge you

Poo Lit ends on the 18st. After that, from 19-25rd, you have to judge (leave your choices here by the start of the 26st). Before that, keep an eye on your category. I'm not saying all Uncyclopedians will cheat and steal to win the coveted Poo Lit Surprise. What I'm saying is all Uncyclopedians will cheat and steal to win the coveted Poo Lit Surprise. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:16, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

/me runs off to put my sexy judging suit in the dry cleaning. ~ 07:36, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!

October 1st, 2009 • Issue 66• Now With 40% More Pictures of Cats with Humorous Captions!

Users Turn to PLS to Rescue Uncyclopedia from Decay, Doom, Worstness By Gerrycheevers The Eighth Semi-Annual Poo Lit Surprise Writing Competition & Brownie Bake-Off begins this Monday, October 5th when Olipro emerges from his house. If he is frightened by his shadow, writers are required to send him love letters; otherwise, writers have two weeks to squeeze all of the humor they can out of their mostly insignificant humor glands. This year's categories include Best Article, Best Illustrated Article, Best Kanye Joke, and Best Rewrite. The list of judges includes both esteemed Uncyclopedia veterans and former PLS winners; they will be sequestered in a two-star hotel for the duration of the competition in order to ensure the most convenient environment for receiving bribes. This year's PLS Master of Ceremonies and Executive in Charge of Parking, Modusoperandi, humbly expressed optimism when asked about the quality of this installment: "This Poo Lit will be the Greatest PLS ever," said Mr. Operandi exclusively. "Anyone who says otherwise is as much of a liar as they are dumb, and they are plenty dumb. Ergo, they are also plenty liar. That made more sense in my head." Other users, who wished to remain anonymous since they regularly read the unflattering commentary often associated with being quoted in the UnSignpost, expressed hope that the PLS would revive the life-support-laden VFH and also stimulate the lagging Uncyclopedia economy. Users Agree: 'Uncyclopedia is the Boringest' By Gerrycheevers This week, Uncyclopedia users denounced the recent lack of activity on the wiki. Necropaxx initiated the conversation, noting that activity on VFH, similar to the pants of the 'hip' crowd, has dropped to unacceptably low levels. Other users have responded, and the general consensus does indeed seem to be that overall, the site's quality has dropped below acceptable levels. Not since June '07, November '07, February '08, August '08, December '08, March '09, and May '09 has Uncyclopedia seen such a blatant claim that the entire website will imminently burst into a ball of some sort, with 'flame' being the most likely sort of ball. Trusted UnSignpost undercover investigative reporter, DogNewspaper (pictured), infiltrated one such group of doom-saying users in order to obtain some first-hand declarations of the impending death throes of the wiki. "Yeah, with the number of quality articles readily available, I'd give Uncyclopedia two months at the most until it is absorbed into another humor website," said one user. Further commentary from this group of users was unavailable, as undercover investigative reporter DogNewspaper's cover was at this point compromised, as his unwavering loyalty to Uncyclopedia caused him to seize the infidel user's lower leg in his mouth and shake his head viciously. Please stay with the UnSignpost for up-to-the-week coverage of the impending(?) death of Uncyclopedia.

Check out these pages! Features and Self-Loathing on Uncyclopedia An all-time Uncyclopedia mystery explained in agonzing detail Get your monthly dose of religious oppression! From our logs: 17:54, September 27, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.233.10.123 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (Under Uncyclopedia emergency act (1976) I hereby revoke your editing priveleges) 20:55, September 27, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.166.95.119 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (only two kinds blank Texas: steers and queers. and steers find it hard to use the internet so I guess that narrows things down a little, doesn't it?) 21:42, September 29, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 91.203.96.48 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Hates me for some reason. Even though I happen to be the nicest man who ever lived. It's true, ask Richard Nixon.) Biopic of the Week Since exploding onto the Uncyclopedia scene in 2007, MacMania has developed into a fine-tuned humor machine. His recent writing endeavors have earned him a Writer of the Month nod, and as such, he is certainly a user worthy of biopication. His current sabbatical makes UnSignpost editors sad, but perhaps a constant spamming of his userpage with pleas to return will accelerate his comeback. UnSignpost readers, away! Old School Featured Article I Can't Believe it's Not Murder is the preferred alternative of first degree murder that celebrities, famous sports stars, politicians, and otherwise prominent individuals take advantage of in courts of law. It is similar to being found guilty of first degree murder, though this version avoids the undesirable consequences such as jail time, fines, probation, and the unsightly community service. Random Thought of the Week Dippin' Dots have been the ice cream of the future for like ten years. Shouldn't they be the ice cream of the present by now?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:12, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

OH AND BY THE WAY

how do you make a background in a different color, like Rafael Nadal Chairman of the Soviet Republicks (Keep Talking) 08:06, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

I believe you need to play with the CSS code of the site itself. What did you have in mind? ~ 08:19, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

hey

I crossed out one of Colin All Your Base Heaneys vote on Useless Gobshite of the Month because he voted twice and "Users can only vote once, and new vote supersedes old vote." He reverted my edit that crossed his vote out and has two votes now. Is Colin allowed to do that? --Docile hippopotamus 00:35, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Also refer to discussion on that page, re: Modus specifically saying he didn't care if there were duplicate votes on a joke award. pillow talk 00:58, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Modus knows best. Follow this simple rule and you'll live longer. Better than a diet. ~ 18:56, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:Foreign Office/+English/Jew-Jitsu

Asking my fellow israeli to undelete the page would be a "combina", right? Anyways, the admin who deleted it hasn't been around in a while. If you read the deletion log you'll see he wouldn't mind. I shouldnt have placed the WIP template, it might still take me a while to finish it. When I'm done, you think you could check out the grammar and spelling? Jag sukot sameaj.--Rataube 12:10, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Here you are sir. Hag Sameach! ~ 18:54, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Got anything...

...that you'd like to add to Judaeo-palaeontology? It was, after all, supposed to be a collaboration but I seem to have gone and written loads of stuff so I'll probably shift it out into mainspace tomorrow at some point, provided I don't think of anything worth adding overnight. I'd better get back to thinking about the Jewish cookery one now, I suppose. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:50, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Hya JT. Sorry, I was away for a few days, went to see what the Germans are up to. You know, new invasion and stuff. I think this one is all yours. i will get to the cuisine one though :) ~ 09:28, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

No probs. I'll get back to the cuisine one at some point too. Probably. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:31, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

Dilly sig

Is a bit outrageous. Looky here - Xxxx marks the maximum length -

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

~ 22:54, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Getit?

• FreddAin't Dedd • • • 22:54 October 9 '09

Wut? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:56, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

You hardly as sexy as me though. ~ 09:27, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

Drama?

A person being a "dick" instead of offering constructive criticism is not drama. Me mentioning that it sounded that way - without insulting him - is not drama.

But you coming along and throwing gas on a fire? That's drama.

Now listen up. I like writing articles. Specifically UnNews ones. Might not be the most productive thing to do, but it harms none. The only "drama" I'm aware of was when an ex of mine came in here to cause trouble. I said she was my ex and proved it, she said she wasn't but later admitted it to management. I've since got a restraining order against her, hence me posting again. Hence her not.

Here's a thought - just let me post as others do, and let me interact as others do, without jumping in to make it seem like I've some kind of bad history here. The only history I've got here is writing a shit load of UnNews articles that most would think are at least average, and many would say are a bit above.

And if avoiding "drama" is your goal, how about posting to me, not making it public? You know, the way I have the courtesy and restraint to do in answering you? --Clemens177 23:27, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

Well, Clemens, I'll tell you what. Since I'm an administrator and you're not, I'll determine what's drama and what's not.

Now you listen up, you have a history as far as I'm concerned. And I'm not even referring to your ex thingy. I'm referring to discussions like this which shows me your have a tempter.

Now don't get me wrong, I think you are a good writer and personally I like some of your stuff, but whenever I'll believe you are out of line, I will act upon it, as I do with any other user on this site - and I'll do it wherever it is necessary. You don't want me to get involved? Don't call people dicks, even if you think you're entitled to do it. People are allowed to vote against your articles for whatever reason, and they don't need to give your constructive criticism. ~ 08:55, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Artemis

Hello there. The human told me (s)he was pwn'd block'd. Is it somehow possible to lift it or at least shorten it a bit? (s)he says (s)he's sorry and was unaware of the trouble (s)he was causing. --Yukari'sBestFriend 01:09, October 11, 2009 (UTC) Oh! (S)He said (s)he'll explain him/herself as soon as the block expires. --Yukari'sBestFriend 01:17, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Unblocked. Tell him to be more careful next time. ~ 08:57, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

So since you asked me to on the top

I wrote an article. It happens to be this, which is a rewrite of this. This means that this will have to replace this at some point in the future, hopefully within a week. When I do that, how do I preserve histories for both pages? Is this something that requires ein Überadministrator? Merci bitte. Sir MacMania GUN—[06:38 11 Oct 2009]

Hello Sir, let me do a quick read of the two pieces and get back to you on that. ~ 08:58, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Why would you want to preserve both? Of course if it was me, I would move this to ^this and change that page to a redirect to this. I would then move this to this. Then the history for this would be ^here, and the history for this would be here. Does this make any sense here? Pup t 09:25, 11/10/2009

I'm getting ^this. ~ 09:54, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

You're right, I could move this to this, that to that, this to that, and that to the other thing, so ^that goes ^here. Thanks for yet another overlooked simple idea! Sir MacMania GUN—[17:40 11 Oct 2009]

Yeah, but here's the problem. I just moved the old Red Dwarf to Red Dwarf/classic, and it appears that I can't move User:MacMania/Red Dwarf to Red Dwarf because Red Dwarf still exists as a redirect. I presume blanking Red Dwarf won't help. Perhaps you could? Sir MacMania GUN—[22:50 11 Oct 2009]

Oh yeah, QVFD. Well, it's there now—just a heads-up. Sir MacMania GUN—[02:40 12 Oct 2009]

Pwnage Bockage

Heh..... Sorry about the revert war.... I wasn't trying to start anything.... It was just that some of the funny pictures were getting taken out of the article and I didn't understand why. I hope you don't think bad of me. I will try to not be a n00b be careful in the future. --ArtemisFowlThe2nd 21:30, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Pwnage Bockage

Heh..... Sorry about the revert war.... I wasn't trying to start anything.... It was just that some of the funny pictures were getting taken out of the article and I didn't understand why. I hope you don't think bad of me. I will try to not be a n00b be careful in the future. And one question. Can the hand biting picture stay in the article? That is actually a pretty good photo and I think it's good enough to be featured. --ArtemisFowlThe2nd 21:32, October 11, 2009 (UTC) Oh! And one more thing. It's spelled "Hadouken". NOT "Hadoken".--ArtemisFowlThe2nd 21:39, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

I hate when people complain about the spelling of words that don't even originate from this alphabet to begin with. —Syndrome (Penis•Penis•Penis•Penis•Penis) 23:13, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Who cares about how "Hadouken" is spelled? It's generally the same when literally translated anyhow.

Also, I've taken the time to explain to you why I removed the pictures on your talk page, Mr. Fowl II. Cheers! -- Hanyouman 23:40, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Who the heck asked you people anyway!!!!!!!? This was not your conversation!

UGH!!!!!!! Do I have to explain?! "Hadou" means "surge" or "wave surge" while "hado" means "hard". "Ken" means "fist". Thus meaning that "Hadoken" which actually translates to "Hard Fist" would not make sense. "Hadouken" means "(wave) surge fist". So "Hadouken" is correct. Check your facts and know your Japanese before correcting someone. Arguing with people over the internet is pointless and does NOTHING.--ArtemisFowlThe2nd 00:20, October 12, 2009 (UTC) I'm not arguing with you people. I'm just informing you... remember, you only make yourself look like an idiot for arguing with people on the internet--ArtemisFowlThe2nd 00:23, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Depends on which kind of romanisation you use. Remember, in "hadouken" the "u" (う) sound prolongs the vowel sound from the previous "do" ど since, while technically the merging of the vowels demands a composite vowel, in Japanese that's what tends to happen. So sometimes instead of being transliterated as "hadouken" the word (which can be written out in hiragana as はどうけん) gets transliterated as "hadōken" (notice the bar over the o?). However, most people tend to omit the macron (that's the bar over the o) for romanisations, so that becomes hadoken. Technically both are therefore correct.

Let's just say that if I were to say hadoken were an incorrect transliteration, I should be saying "Toukyou" instead of "Tokyo" all the time. Sir MacMania GUN—[00:42 12 Oct 2009]

I tend to prefer using the little bar. You get to act like you know oh so much about transliterating Japanese and stuff and ALSO show off how good you are at typing nonstandard characters. --monika 00:46, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

I always forget to include it, but at the same time, I'm also too lazy to include it.

BTW, Mr. Fowl, there's no need to get angry over the whole issue like that. Take it easy. -- Hanyouman 00:53, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Personally I just looked at the Wiki page on Ryu, where it refers to his Hadou style, and the move itself is hadōken. And I barely speak Engrish. Pup t 00:56, 12/10/2009

I bow to you and your superior knowledge of typing characters absent from the keyboard. And I thought I was clever for knowing how to type cliché, résumé and crème brûlée on my laptop using ALT codes. I had to copy all the Japanese characters off of Wikipedia because my Windows input system wasn't working properly ... also, I just noticed that this was Mordillo's talk page. Sir MacMania GUN—[00:58 12 Oct 2009]

Whose talk page? Pup t 01:04, 12/10/2009

NO WAY, IT CAN'T BE. -- Hanyouman 01:07, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Oh no! I wasn't angry about anything! But please just try not to butt into someone else's conversation unless you have something important to say... That way you don't annoy people. PEACE NIGGAS!!!!!! I just had to say that.--ArtemisFowlThe2nd 02:35, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, didn't mean to intrude unnecessarily—just nitpicking, which I guess is intruding unnecessarily, so sorry again. Sir MacMania GUN—[02:38 12 Oct 2009]

I meant no harm. I've said my piece, and I have no regrets. I've known about the whole thing with the Hadouken too, for that matter. Sorry if you took offense, though. -- Hanyouman 02:43, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

It is extremely unimportant and took about three seconds of research to come up with an answer. The reality is the page got a fairly poor review, so it needs a huge amount of work. At the moment you are changing small sections at a time. Go back to the review and see what the intelligent reviewer said. Pup t 02:54, 12/10/2009

But but but... but what if the person is already annoyed? --monika 02:59, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

What page is this, now? The Street Fighter one, assumingly? I dunno what I can do with it anymore, myself. -- Hanyouman 04:17, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

While I appreciate the level of linguistic dissection of Japanese you all present, I lost track of what the discussion was about. The only suggestion I have, Artemis, is that you try to mess with Grue as little as possible. It's a sensitive issue. And deadly. ~ 18:51, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Hello?

PLEASE ADOPT ME. Also, please do not get rid of this section this time. It's INCREDIBLY annoying when you do.

I never removed anything by you, as far as I know. What do you need? ~ 18:54, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Really? I apologize. It must have been someone else. In any case, adoption is a requirement for me. The thing that was there before you wrote was written by me.--My burning lair of grues Talk while the Grue God is on break 03:44, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

What's upsetting is in the eye of the beholder

I can see your point at User_talk:Clemens177#Now_you.27ve_done_it. The use of this image apparently seemed to fit from some people's perspectives, but you personally found it offensive and upsetting. An image that might seem an appropriate use to one person could greatly upset another, as happened with both you and Miley. And yes I understand that there's a difference between a naked obese man using a computer and innocent people being mass murdered. But feelings are feelings, and I've felt more hurt and upset at someone's comment than I was when someone shot at me--not logical, but it's there. By the way, I am not Jewish, but have gone to synagogue several times, have read the Torah (and a little of the Talmud), one of my very closest friends is Jewish, the first person I fell in love with was Jewish, etc. So I am not immune to your feelings. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  16:27, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Sir, I respectfully disagree with you. A picture of a pile of dead bodies never fits except in a documentary. And I'm the type of guy who can watch a gorey movie like SAW V while eating or to put myself to sleep, and cadavers are a common sight for me, at the college morgue. But a picture of dead people piled up as if they were luggage is very disturbing, those were human beings, gassed to death, then piled up and burnt.. It is not funny in ANY contect, and therefore it has no place in Uncy. And yes, mordillo got personally offended and banned clemens for a month which is a bit overreacting for an image that is already on the internet.. clemens did not gas those people nor did he say that the holocaust is funny or anything. He just uploaded a picture, and you, mordillo, could have just deleted it on sight. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 17:50 October 12 '09

I think there's a world of difference between the Miley story and what happened yesterday, but I'm not going to discuss this any further. Also, people forget that I'm actually Israeli first and Jewish after. I'll need to explain the difference one day. ~ 18:56, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

"A picture of a pile of dead bodies never fits except in a documentary" and "It is not funny in ANY contect" are a matter of personal perspective. Your perspective is personally valid. But I knew a man at one of my colleges who was very kind, friendly, popular and gentle, but he liked looking and even laughing at photos that turned my stomach (he loved photos of murdered and mutilated human bodies--whenever I heard him laugh uproariously and say "This is so funny; you've got to see this" I knew it was time for me to sneak out of the room). Apparently laughing at that kind of thing was his release for the less gentle parts we all have in us. Again, humor, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. (And was someone really banned for a month for uploading a single photo, or was there more to it?) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:02, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

I did say discussion closed yes? ~ 19:14, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Do you think you could possibly come over and explain that difference to David Cameron, so he understands why the UK's Jews aren't too impressed with him and his Euro-Tories getting all matey with Michal Kaminsky, even if he is a supporter of Israel, as well? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 20:32, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Not before you can explain to me why the fireman association of Britain, led to a boycott of Israeli goods in Britain. I mean, the firemen association?! :) ~ 20:36, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

I doubt even the fireman association could explain that one, tbh. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 20:41, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Does my favorite Jew need a hug? I think he does!

But you won't get it from me. Filthy Jew. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:23, 12 Oct

I tell you, you stinking bastard, it's idiot like you that keep my sanity :) ~ 18:55, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

To cheap to sign your comment, eh Jew? Also; that picture at the top of your talkpage is one of my favorites of all time. Don't let the bastards get ya down. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:48, 12 Oct

God damn it, I'm so distracted I don't even sign them anymore. Thank god my profanities aren't totally gone. ~ 18:55, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

*hug!* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:25, 12 Oct

I'd like to take a moment to talk about my colon.

Is it possible that, if you've eaten nothing but processed garbage for several months, actual food can cause you intestinal distress? Because yesterday I went to this really shady cafe and ate a giant salad. And then, seven hours later, I was like literally hugging my knees to my chest whilst sitting on the bowl in a desperate attempt to exorcise the fecal demons trying to viciously gnaw their way out of my lower intestine. So, I'm wondering: is it more likely that I was poisoned by the unsanitary food preparation practices of Cafe Pretentio, or that my stomach is simply no longer equipped to deal with that which is not a Filet O' Fish? For some reason, it just seemed like you were the best man to put this question to. pillow talk 21:15, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

I glad you found me worthy to share this important piece of information. I, on the other hand, found myself standing yesterday on a rooftop in Amsterdam holding by the legs a guy who was tipping halfway over, all the while it was pouring rains. So I ask yourself, who is sexier, me holding the guy for his dear life, or you battling your digestion demons? ~ 21:20, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Well, obviously, caressing the legs of a wet man is sexier than offering screamed prayers to whatever gods govern defecation. But it's sexy in a gay way. pillow talk 21:30, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Your colon sounds very dramatic. I need to meet him one day. ~ 21:41, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

2001: A Space Odyssey

I'm assuming MacMania asked you to move this to mainspace. Just a few minutes ago I gave him a follow-up "mini Pee Review" he requested (I did the last Pee Review on the article). I had thought he wanted a chance to make some final changes, and had told him once he moved it to mainspace I planned to nominate the article. I don't think it really matters much who nominates, I just hope he had a chance to make any changes he wanted to make first. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:03, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Offensive images on Uncyclopedia

I appreciated what you wrote at User_talk:Mnbvcxz#OK_Mister_Ombudsman about removing offensive images regardless of creed. As it happens, anonymous user 121.214.60.1 just edited an article I was working on in my user space. I wasn't upset as the edit was obviously intended to be helpful (minor grammar fixes) even though I'm just beginning the article on my user space and don't care about grammar right now. But in trying to see if I could find the user, I found a post where he or she reported concern over an image I find very offensive. It's at File:Mohammedlickingcock.jpg. While an image of murdered people can be appropriate in a documentary format, I don't know any format where this would be appropriate except one designed to draw the ire of Muslims. To a devout Muslim, this is about as offensive as could possibly be conceived. Could you remove this please? Thanks. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:00, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

And as a further to this, just looking at the microsoft article, which does have a swasi prominently displayed. While I personally couldn't give a flying fruit bat about this whole issue, you obviously know the issues with legislation in Germany relating to this. Does this mean this article should have a warning as well? And in which case, would we be better off just getting rid of this extremely unfunny image? Pup t 06:11, 13/10/2009

I believe German law says you can show swastikas in documentaries, which is why Inglourious Basterds could be shown in German theaters. This article should be okay. --monika 17:05, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

Pfft. Documentary, my ass. If Inglorious Basterds is a documentary, I'm attractive to women. pillow talk 17:37, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

And the laws of several Muslim nations prohibit images of Muhammad, and the laws of Turkey prohibit mocking Ataturk. Fortunately, the servers are located in the USA, California specifically, and we shouldn't worry about foreign laws. --Mn-z 17:44, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

JIHAD

Also, as a devout Muslim, I've badly offended myself by making the picture to the right. Since you apparently have ops here, could you deal with the situation in one way or another? Thanks. pillow talk 14:11, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

Dear Jew. Please don't remove the drawing of the imginary person sucking a penis that I have on the top of my talk page. I find it amusing in that it might offend the same extremists that thought it might be a good idea to ram airplanes into buildings full of Americans. Furthermore , as the image in question is only used on two userpages and one mainspace article (in a very funny way I might add) I don't see how it should cause any real problems, except possibly to idiots who think a drawing might in some way compare to a photograph of a real atrocity to which your immediate ancestors were victims, and see the image as an excuse to create further drama over a dead issue (possibly in some misguided attempt to prove a point to my favorite Jew). In conclusion, I'd just like to add that -HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE JUGS ON THAT CHICK ON THE LEFT! .....

....

...What were we talking about again? -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:48, 13 Oct

ZOMG!! BLASPHEMY!!!!11!! JIHADZORZ!!!1!!!!! DEATH TO TEH INFADILZ!!!!! Mahm00shA 17:00, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

Some of my ancestors were HOT CHICKS, so I find this image to be offensive TO THE MAX. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Hey, I AM a HAWT CHICK! Where's my attention! -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 15:43, 14 Oct

Riiight... because if there's one demographic that never gets any attention, it's HAWT CHICKS. pillow talk 15:45, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Based on empiric research, it seems like grumpy old Jews get more attention than a horny cuddly Luvvy. You guys are sooo happy! /me runs away, crying -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 18:44, 14 Oct

Oh shit! This sounds familiar... didn't I let some article with said pic through? It's just that, this weed I've been smoking lately... well, it's just grand, but it's Hell on my short term memory, so I'm not sure... in any and all cases, I apologise if I had any part in this. You're right to be pissed off, and I feel badly if I've been offensive to you. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:11, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Ah

Gotcha, I'll give it time before doing so again. I still need to read some of the guidelines as well. Not used to uncyc yet. Hubblemeow 13:35, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Sure. Good luck! ~ 13:59, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

A pat on the back for mister Mordillo

I've been reading stuff on Uncyc(or stalking Uncyc, whichever you prefer) since 2006, and I thought it was about time to tip my hat to you for writing good articles while wading through tons of shit on a voluntairy basis every day. Enough of that, back to reading. 193.173.109.247 15:22, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you kind sir! It's always nice to hear people like the stuff I write :) ~ 15:32, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Dammit Jew, why do you always have to be the center of attention?

Why doesn't anybody ever write a long angry rant about me? Anyways, the bastards. Remember what I said about them. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:39, 14 Oct

I can write something for you if you want! Ranting about how you're sweaty and hairy and....generally arousing. Did I say that out loud? ~ 17:48, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

I am rather sweaty aren't I? -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:47, 14 Oct

Any quotes of our admin overlord?

Hey Mordillo, you got any comments for the UnSignpost article I'm writing? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:39, 14 October 2009

The one about our IMPENDING DOOM?! ~ 20:48, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Yep. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:49, 14 October 2009

I tell you Socky, I'd be happy to comment about our IMPENDING DOOM but I'm too busy packing. Another time maybe? HEY! MOTHERFUCKER! EASY WITH THE VASE! THAT'S FRAGILE! Sorry Sock, gotta scram, the movers are breaking my stuff. NO! DROP THAT BAN HAMMER! DROP IT I SAID! ~ 22:10, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

No problem, I already got something. Or should I use what you just said as a quote? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:14, 14 October 2009

.....yes, that was the intention...O_O ~ 22:23, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Ah. Thought so. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:25, 14 October 2009

Hey, stinker. I want in. • FreddAin't Dedd • • •

NotM

e|m|c said he thinks you wrote the NotM thing about me on the Main Page. I've been trying to find out who did it so I can think him/her/it. Was it you? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:40, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Yep, that was me. ~ 20:49, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Why do I need to provide this? has awarded you a cookie! Here, have a cookie with your whiskey.

I really enjoyed it. The weird thing is I've edited and even started articles on westerns and/or people who worked on them on another wiki, but haven't written any such thing here. And I'm a fan of Clint Eastwood, and haven't written anything about him here either. So it's kind of weirdly cool you'd come up with that. Synchronicity. (But not suprisingly I would never, ever call Eastwood a pussy. Even though his first name does kind of sound like "clit"). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:59, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

MacMania has awarded you a cookie! You may know him as Mac e. Mania Baskerville himself.

Thanks for that WotM blurb! Loved it—and come to think of it, I ought to have Cheerios somewhere in my signature. In fact, I'm going to do that very, very soon. Be accordingly afraid. Thanks again! Sir MacMania GUN—[21:07 14 Oct 2009]

Ha Ha Ha! My cookie's longer than yours! Ha Ha Ha! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:16, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

My pleasure, both :) ~ 22:10, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

I have to say

Sooo funny.

That reskin looks great! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:42, 14 October 2009

Indeed. I lolled in my shorts. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:46, 14 Oct

BEST. RESKIN. EVER. I have not laughed so much in a long, long time. Thanks, Mordillo. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:49, Oct 14

The Computer Took Over Uncyclopedia! Now when I look deep into it, I have to say, "My God! It's full of 2001!" King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:17, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Garçon! Another cookie please!

MacMania has awarded you a cookie! My God, it's full of chocolate chips!

Thanks for the pleasant surprise!

Also, I didn't know I had a fellow Google Chrome user in Necropaxx! I guess that brings Uncyc's Chrome user count up to 2! Sir MacMania GUN—[00:56 15 Oct 2009]

Yay for Chrome! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 02:49, Oct 15

Excellent! Does some stupid stuff on 1024 X whatever the other is resolution, but otherwise superb. Full of stars! Pup t 02:52, 15/10/2009

I'll stick with Netscape Navigator version 1.2, thank you very much. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:09, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

You should talk to Modus, that's his browser. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Necropaxx (talk • contribs)

I thought "Chrome" is just the most elaborate phishing hoax up to date, so I haven't touched the software... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 08:56, 15 Oct

/me open the pod bay doors and vent everyone into space. ~ 15:35, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

/me "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." Now that wasn't nice, now was it? D: -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 23:17, 17 Oct

UnSignpost Sometime October 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The edition that's black and white and dead all over

October 8th, 2009 • Issue 67• Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

The End is Nigh... Once Again By The Sockinator Yes, it's that time of the year again. Despite the hopes of many, Poo Lit Surprise did not instantly revive Uncyclopedia. We are doomed! DOOMED! But how did the great Uncyclopedia become such a wasteland, one may ask. It's all a big conspiracy, I tell you! All perpetrated by a mysterious figure, known only by the initials R.L. Perseveringly, this entity has claimed the lives of various Uncyclopedians, among them such users as SysRq, Cajek, YesTimeToEdit, Siddhartha-Wolf and most recently it seems R.L. has even gotten its grips on our own UnSignpost editor Gerrycheevers. When confronted with the issue, noted favourite Jew and Zionist ruler Mordillo barely managed to exclusively tell us the following "I tell you Socky, I'd be happy to comment about our IMPENDING DOOM but I'm too busy packing. Another time maybe? HEY! MOTHERFUCKER! EASY WITH THE VASE! THAT'S FRAGILE! Sorry Sock, gotta scram, the movers are breaking my stuff. NO! DROP THAT BAN HAMMER! DROP IT I SAID!" Expert in things that suck (no pun intended), Optimuschris, was quoted saying "Uncyclopedia hasn't been cool since 08. Ban 09's." In conclusion, UN:N. UFFL Update By Guildensternenstein The previous two weeks of the UFFL action have been filled with more intrigue than a mediocre James Bond movie. Two touchdownless games by Saints’ quarterback Drew Brees cost Sternensteinenstine a win Week 3, though the team rebounded Week 4 and currently holds a solid second-place standing in the hyper-competitive UFFL. A resurgent Tom Brady and a balanced roster has led Domestic Team Name to two wins over the same period, as well as an unblemished 4-0 record. The Dudes’ neglect to change their starting roster cost them a win in Week 4, knocking the former top dogs down to a less-than-remarkable 4th place. The John Curry All-Stars have been hampered by the loss of Frank Gore, and lost last week to a rejuvenated Dibiase’s Millions that were led by a solid Aaron Rodgers-Matt Forte NFC North attack. A soft schedule has helped Oklahoma City Storm to a respectable 2-2 record, while the winless Doritians continue to struggle. Finally, The Winnerz put up mounds of points as Peyton Manning passed his way to his fourth consecutive 300-yard game…or at least would have if The Winnerz could figure out how to log in to Yahoo! and edit their roster. In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine and the John Curry All-Stars will have to overcome bye weeks for both their starting quarterbacks to maintain their positions near the top of the league as they face off; Oklahoma City Storm looks to earn an easy win against a bye-week-ravaged Dibiase’s Millions; The Dudes seek redemption as they attempt to reclaim their No. 1 position against the undefeated Domestic Team Name; and the league’s bottom-dwelling, shit-eating, dog-fucking last-placers The Winnerz and Cheddar’s Doritians both search for their first wins of the season. Standings: Domestic Team Name (4-0) Sternensteinenstine (3-1) John Curry All-Stars (3-1) The Dudes (3-1) Oklahoma City Storm (2-2) Dibiase’s Millions (1-3) Cheddar’s Doritians (0-4) The Winnerz (0-4)

Whatever you do, don't check out these pages! Polls, sexiness, and advertisements Terrifying stories of the one-armed man! Pointless numbers From our logs: 08:02, October 5, 2009 Under user blocked RAHB with an expiry time of 123 seconds ‎ (surprising me by returning like that: my doctor says surprises are bad for other people's hearts - because every time I get surprised, I eat someone's heart.) 10:48, October 13, 2009 RAHB blocked Dwarfman1122 with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Thought you wouldn't be caught, eh? Maybe now you'll think twice the next time you vandalize and then wait three weeks to be banned.) 04:46, October 11, 2009 Modusoperandi blocked 75.47.155.133 with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I'd give you a longer ban, but you were only picking on Roman Dog Bird) Biopic of the Week The sentient computer HAL 9000, while having only very few contributions on Uncyclopedia—and of a rather questionable nature at that, if I may add—has recently risen to Uncyc fame in what can only be described as one big conspiracy. In response to a question asked by one of our reporters, HAL answered "Let me put it this way, Mr. Sockinator. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error." In 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL proved to be a computer very much capable of homicidal acts. Until recently, Uncyclopedia had been successful in evading HAL's detection. Yesterday night however, HAL hacked our beloved Main Page and transformed the wiki into HALopedia. HAL was confronted with many bewildered users to whom he proclaimed "I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over." Our experts are still trying to find out how the feck HAL was able to find this place. Though MrN9000 probably had nothing to do with it. For more information, tune in next week. Same un-time, same un-signpost! Random Cajek sighting of the Week Yea, verily, he did come unto us and delivereth a new article. Then he updatedeth his userpage, and fuckethed offeth again. These are enlightened times, my friends! Random Thought of The Week Remember when Uncyclopedia was full of vanity and Pokemon? Wait, it still is. Emergency of the Week Well, lots of things go wrong in Uncyclopedia. It's a simple fact of life. And this week, believe it or not, dear reader, this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make the cut! But do not despair, dear reader, because you can help! Just post any suggestions in the Press Room, and with your help, we can overcome this crisis!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  01:22, Oct 16

ITSCON

A spoof on "ISKCON" (the Harry harrys) without mentioning any names. Much appreciated that you gave it a second go.--Funnybony 19:45, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

I wish there was some qualification requirement to give a review only by people with no attitude clouding things - who know how to use the format. Spike hates it, so how can he review it? And without even using the review format!? I love help, but I can distinguish a rose from a thorn.--Funnybony 19:45, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

First, regarding the review, I'm afraid I'm not one of the peeing people, I'm more into fec...never mind. That's too graphic, but you'll need to ask someone else to help you with that. With regards to the review, what I'd do if you get a review you don't like, thank the guy (or not) and create a new request. You don't have to take under consideration a review that you don't like. If you think he's really out of line, you can talk with the master of peeing, mister Under User. But I don't believe this was the case. Best to get a new review and hope that you'd like the new one better. ~ 19:53, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

I have recommended to ChiefjusticeDS that my original review, and Funnybony's dissatisfaction with it, be erased so that the next reviewer starts with a clean slate. Spıke ¬  19:55 16-Oct-09

Style Guide

I reverted your recent change to UN:HTBFANJS regarding clichés. The revision summary asked you to read the debate in Forum:Encyclopedia cliches before making the change. You quickly made an unrelated change in the document and might not see my note. Spıke ¬  19:50 16-Oct-09

Spike, for future reference, for the sake of my ulcer, drop me a line before you revert me. ~ 20:03, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

Again, I hoped you would see the change Summary. Basically, a few days of discussion about the proposal in my userspace led to the unanimous conclusion that it did not rise to the level of making any change in UN:HTBFANJS, which I accepted. Then Puppy came in and said, this is a Wiki, just do it. I proposed a link to this document with provisions to make it clear it was not consensus. The rule not to mention individual authors sounds wise, but at the least read the Forum discussion and weigh in there. Spıke ¬  20:08 16-Oct-09

I just read it. Even though this is a wiki, HTBFANJS is our bible, and therefore not to be edited lightly, and I'm not entirely happy with referencing private opinions to a policy page. But at this point I don't have any brilliant ideas so I'll give it some though. With regards to the reverting, as I said - next time tell me to go and do my homework before you revert me. Which I normally do. I tend to shoot first and ask questions later when I'm being reverted. ~ 20:12, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

Got it. Spıke ¬  20:16 16-Oct-09

I'm sorry to both of you. I encouraged SPIKE to make the amendment to HTBFANJS as there was no valid objection to making the change with the exception of it won't make any difference. It waws a case of n00b leading the n00b. Spank me soundly. Pup t 00:38, 18/10/2009

Overly cautious indeed

This made me crack up, which is embarrassing, as being a Mormon I should find this childish. I blame Uncyclopedia. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 02:44, Oct 17

I'm glad someone found it funny, I'm nursing 3rd degree burns! ~ 11:48, October 17, 2009 (UTC)

hey

Are you going to respond to "Offensive images on Uncyclopedia" in your talkpage? --Docile hippopotamus 23:26, October 17, 2009 (UTC)

Good afternoon

...and a late gut shabbos. Puppy on the Radio is having some problems with Baby Boomers in that the VFH template on the article is linking to an old nomination. I don't know how to go about diverting it to the current nomination - or indeed, if non-admins can do so. Any ideas? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:34, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Shabat shalom! All fixed, you need to add the "nompage" variable. ~ 15:56, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

The what now? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:59, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

{{VFH|nompage=my erectile dynsfunction, 2nd mon}} :) ~ 20:12, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Why the feck can't I be a rollbacker?

Why? All teh cool kidz are rollbackers. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 20:00, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Damn straight they are! --ChiefjusticeDS 20:03, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Who said you can't be? ~ 20:07, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Nobody, actually.. I talked to Modus, he told me to ask Sannse, I asked her, Charitwo told me to talk to you. So, here I am • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 20:18, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Ah, then write a 50 words essay including the usage of the word sharmoota at least times (one of the usages directed at me) of whan kind of evil deeds you intend to do with rollback. Also, if you are one of those offended by the S word, you don't need to use it ~ 20:30, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Seriously? Do I have to write an essay? Don't you already know what I'm going to do? I'll make the world kneel before me like a sharmoota! Muahahahahaha *cough* • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 20:36, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

He's not going to write the essay. Don't let him have it! Also... Has he read this... MrN 20:40, Oct 18

What is that Wikipedia you speak of? Also, Mushi, I'm missing 21 words. For your benefit I counted muhahahah as a word. ~ 20:42, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Mahm00shA, why do you want rollback rights? Reverting vandals is tedious and boring work. It's been known to cause AVMs which lead to seizures/brain haemorrhages. This, of course, leads to you becoming "ideologically pure" and finally death (Well, either death or gamma knife surgery...). MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:49, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

So you ARE ideologically pure! ~ 20:51, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

FU EC x2... Ok. I want rollback rights to help make uncyclopedia a better place, through reverting vandals, and restoring certain pages to earlier and better versions, because the regular revertion is shit and tiring. Also, I'm not going to use my soon-to-be powers to break any of the honoured laws of uncyclopedia. Also also, you'll be dubbed a sharmoot forever if you dont grant me rollback rights. To sophia be the glory • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 20:53, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

This may come as a stoopid question, especially, since I have some button that says "rollback" on it, but how does it differ from "undo"? I've usually used the undo, since I have no idea what the rollback one does. And no, it's a .js thing, not a site perk thing I've got. I semi-accidentally stole the code from somewhere and it stuck... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:27, 18 Oct

My guess is, you have the .js script that shows a rollback buton that doesn't work, and shows a "permission error" whenever you use it, because your usergroups dont include admin or rollbacker • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 21:40, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Actually I saw something somewhere about a rollback js that makes rollbacking easier for those with rollback privileges. Or something. I don't care - I've seen the extra work admins and semi-admins get thrown on their shoulders, and I've read UN:JOB, and I'd rather not have any more responsibility personally. Undo will do me fine. Pup t 21:48, 18/10/2009

What are "semi-admins"? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:51, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

You.. A rollbacking poopsmith • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 21:53, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

And with that I now give up. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:54, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Where is the "Vote for semi-Sysops" page? --Mn-z 02:45, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

It's like semi-hard. Pup t 21:59, 18/10/2009

Why must it always come back to my erectile dysfunction with you? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:02, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

What can I say? I'm a bit of a softie really. Pup t 22:10, 18/10/2009

Is rollbacking more tedious than welcoming new users? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:18, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

I still don't know what rollbacking does compared to the normal undo. O_o And I'm a bit behind my usual welcoming new user sprees... :o -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:05, 19 Oct

Rollbacking is a one-click undo, i.e. without showing the page with the "edit" and "edit summary" boxen. Also, it can undo several revisions of a page at once, with the same "one-click" ... It's much easier than the normal undo, but as you know, with greater power comes a greater number of hot chicks.. or something • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 11:26, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Its basically just a one-click version of undo, saving you a couple of seconds on a page revert. It was created mainly as a tool for those who patrol recent changes. Additionally, you also get the power to move pages without generating a redirect, which was granted to fight pagemove vandals. Although you still have the same pagemove limits. I don't think you can undo multiple changes, but I might be wrong. --Mn-z 18:43, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

I got all confused, probably because I spend two hours in the bloody foreigners line on passport control in Heathrow. So - was it - `Crat for Luvvy, three admins for MNB, 1 rollback for Moosh and an erectile dysfunction for Dex? ~ 20:10, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

What's a crat? Are you fantasising about giving me an STD again? Isn't that a tad against the whole "grandpa-granddaughter" relations, even in Uncyc? O_O -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:35, 20 Oct

In other words, you ain't no rollaback girl. pillow talk 20:25, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Unlike you, Hyperbole, I don't trade sexual favours for user perks... /me wanders off to start another project of neverending homework -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 08:38, 22 Oct

Yea...

It is rather obvious. I was hoping to bore him away this time... Why don't we have checkuser again? I would have put the post on Sannse's page ages ago, but then everyone knows I did and it's drama. Drama if I'm wrong, or right. /end rant.. /Grumble MrN 20:19, Oct 19

Nah, with idiots like him it's not drama really. If I thought someone would care I'd send her an email, but he's just an idiot that watches bad films. Also, I hate Heathrow terminal 4. ~ 20:24, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Heathrow is so badly organised that sometimes the queue for the Brits is longer than the foreigners!! MrN 20:30, Oct 19

Not today it wasn't! Stepped in the queue at 7:40am, left the queue at 9:30am. I shit you not. ~ 20:36, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

I wish I lived in France, where people understand that "elbowing one's way through a crowd" is a better form of waiting than "queueing up." pillow talk 20:39, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Not that I'm bragging but... OK. I'm bragging...

1. 20:54, 19 October 2009, MrN9000 (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Defender Miz (Talk | contribs) (infinite, account creation blocked) (Sockpuppet) (unblock | change block)
2. 20:54, 19 October 2009, MrN9000 (Talk | contribs | block) blocked #44529 (expires 20:54, 20 October 2009, account creation blocked) (Autoblocked because your IP address has been recently used by "Defender Miz". The reason given for Defender Miz's block is: "Sockpuppet") (unblock)
3. 20:49, 19 October 2009, MrN9000 (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Hypnotizinghypnosis (Talk | contribs) (infinite, account creation blocked) (Go back to editing the Mirror site. We don't care about that. Every time you come back I will make more efforts to remove your previous edits. Please don't return.) (unblock | change block)
4. 20:49, 19 October 2009, MrN9000 (Talk | contribs | block) blocked #44527 (expires 20:49, 20 October 2009, account creation blocked) (Autoblocked because your IP address has been recently used by "Hypnotizinghypnosis". The reason given for Hypnotizinghypnosis's block is: "Go back to editing the Mirror site. We don't care about that. Every time you come back) (unblock)

... MrN 07:27, Oct 20

And I went over and blew his house. ~ 07:34, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

So, am I going to get some fecking rollback rights?

Yes or no? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 07:37, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

I don't think he knows the password... MrN 07:39, Oct 20

recent changes? penis? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 07:41, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

You got it already, ya chmar. ~ 13:54, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Seriously? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 14:13, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Yep. I'll vandalize your user page and look at recent changes, you should see the rollback button. ~ 14:25, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

I meant the password.. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 14:32, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

They pulled your leg on that. ~ 15:00, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Kolme Pukkia

Quit huffing my goats!

You'd get a better response if A) you signed your posts; and B) you phrased your request "Quit huffing my goats NOW, you CUNT." Just a friendly suggestion. pillow talk 20:37, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Pretty please? Fizzlnet

It was random text and a youtube link, why exactly do you want it restored? ~ 20:46, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Lemme answer this for you Sabba (the guy's a Finn-troll): Ei se vitussa tee sitä, koska käyttäydyt kuin idiootti, jolla ei ole munaa kirjoittaa oikeaa huumoria. Alapas kiltisti alusta, jos et ole vielä blokattu, luo käyttäjätili, jos et sitä vielä ole tehnyt, ja sitten luot itsellesi omaan käyttäjätilaan alasivun, missä saat sekoilla ihan vapaasti. Jos et tätä tajunnut, mene sinne, missä pippuri kasvaa ja väännä kaktus perseeseesi. Tässä on apuväline:

-- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:50, 20 Oct

Mitä hän sanoi. Suomen tytöt tietävät parhaiten. ~ 20:56, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Toda Raba, Sabba! ^_^ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:58, 20 Oct

Iloni! ~ 21:00, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

That's rarely in use as an expression, but completely coherent in the context, your Finnish is better than my Hebrew today :P -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:04, 20 Oct

Dutch dutch dutch

Hello mr Mordillo. It is quite fascinating how close Dutch and Afrikaans actually is. We have a Dutch philosopher staying with us for a while, and we both use our own languages and totally understand each other. As long as we talk slowly. So given that I'm a slow typer you should understand my Afrikaans quite well. --BlueSpiritGuy 13:39, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

audios

Now that I've got a mike, I was wondering if I could see that template you use when you're recording an audio. I searched for it and couldn't find it. If you don't mind, I'd like to pilfer it and make my own personalized template, cause I'd be sooo much cooler that way. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 21:15, Oct 21 2009

{{ARIP}} this one? ~ 07:37, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

October 22nd, 2009 • Issue 68 • Semi-endorsed by Journalism Union #448

Invisible UnSignpost Issue Confuses, Annoys Readers By Gerrycheevers As a gag/publicity stunt/desperate cry for attention, last week's edition of Uncyclopedia's most beloved and 3rd most cherished newspaper, the UnSignpost, was rendered invisible before being delivered. After the issue was wrapped up, UnSignpost contributing editors Dexter111344 and Socky used their inherent superpowers or something to cause the issue to not appear on user's talk pages when delivered. In addition, further enhancements rendered each user's talk page history to not be altered upon delivery, thus completely erasing any evidence that the issue was delivered or even existed at any point. Feedback thus far has been overwhelmingly negative, with angry subscribers sending death threats and exploding telegrams to the UnSignpost office for the past four days. UnSignpost Executive in Charge of Sniffing Mail, Dognewspaper (pictured), luckily suffered only minor burns and a singed tail. The UnSignpost staff would like to formally apologize to its readers, and assure them that each subsequent issue will be at least partly visible. Poo Lit Report By Electrified mocha chinchilla After giving the writers time to work on their pieces, and Modus taking time enjoying the disqualification of entries for failing the mandatory steroids screening, the 8nd Edition of the Poo Lit Surprise is in its final stages – judging. This is the time where writers who entered play with their genitals out of anxiety and nervousness, and attempt to bribe the judges with sexual favors and pie. This PLS saw a great number of entries in the Best Alternate Namespace Article. The reasoning for this, some believe, is that everyone is utterly bat fuck insane and forgot how to write regular namespace articles. Despite being held just prior to the Turkey Day Ball and Conservation Week, the turn-out was overall not bad; Modus' corporate-funded campaign for the PLS is primarily to blame for this. Speaking of corporate funding, it was indicated that there will be prize money for this edition of the PLS despite Wikia's refusal to hook a brotha' up. All irrevocable blame for Wikia's unfortunate decision has been directed at Sannse for good reason. UPDATE Winners have been announced; congratulations to all of them. According to Modusoperandi, the next PLS is expected to be held, "When the next guy remembers it's late." Fantasy Football Update By Guildensternenstein Things are really heating up in the UFFL as midseason nears, and Week Six’s storylines were of upset, domination, and redemption. Led by Tom Brady, the always-solid New England Patriots Domestic Team Name blew out the hapless Tennessee Titans Winnerz by an insane 109.38 to 0 after choking down a hard loss the previous week. The ironically-named Winnerz, on the other hand, still have yet to win a game. After a lackluster showing last week, The John Curry All-Stars earned a solid win against The Dudes, unseating them of their erstwhile #1 ranking in the process. After starting the season 0-4, Cheddar’s Doritians earned their second consecutive win, albeit against the floundering Dibiase’s Millions. Finally, Sternensteinenstine resoundingly defeated Oklahoma City Storm 164.06 to 118.98 after a lackluster showing the previous week, catapulting the Nazi-run team back atop the UFFL standings. In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine looks to stay atop the UFFL rankings against a resurgent Cheddar’s Doritians, Domestic Team Name looks to retake the #1 spot against a very solid John Curry All-Stars, Oklahoma City Storm and The Dudes face off, and the bottom-dwelling dog-fucking last-placers Dibiase’s Millions and The Winnerz will look to see which one of them is shittier. Standings: Sternensteinenstine (5-1) Domestic Team Name (5-1) The Dudes (4-2) John Curry All-Stars (4-2) Oklahoma City Storm (3-3) Cheddar’s Doritians (2-4) Dibiase’s Millions (1-5) The Winnerz (0-6) IT'S OVER 25,000!!! Maybe. By Electrified mocha chinchilla Uncyclopedia just might make the mark of 25,000 articles. Sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. Surely it's yet another milestone that only puts us that much more ahead of Wikipedia, Conservapedia, and Das Kapital combined in content. However, thoughts from the rest of the community on what this means for our beloved wiki have been varyingly expressed as joyous, apathetic, dismal, and downright nonsensical. "But even with 25,000 articles, we're still 65,000 short of being strong enough to fight Captain Ginyu," says the attractive Guildensternenstein as we stop him on his way to Planet Namek. Others offer real conversation of a possible reskin and doubts that the mark will actually be reached with Forest Fire Week probably happening sometime. Maybe. Discussion started by an attention whore in Miniluv over the Welcoming Committee and their welcoming template(s) has sparked the particular attention of many Uncyclopedians, most of whom by their own admission have never read the welcoming template, HTBFANJS, BGBU, any of the other things the welcome template advises new users to read, or have heard of Uncyclopedia. The recent round of QQ'ing and debating over the alleged poor quality of Uncyclopedia, as highlighted in the last edition's piece about the end being nigh and a Poo Lit Surprise nomination, can come to a close. It is this writer's observation that Uncyclopedia is the worst because nobody cares about editing guides which make confusing acronyms. Obvious correlation is obvious. On our final stop in our stroll through the Village Dump, to your left you will see that a n00b was just kidding, jeez, and to your right you will see that Rockstar Games reads Uncyclopedia. In the former, users urge the poor fellow to read HTBFANJS and BGBU (the same ones that they probably haven't read). If anything is to be drawn from this, it is that true editing comes from within. Or something.

Check out these pages! Uncyclopedia:Worst or Not? The Debate Rages On Free Advertisement for Jumping Ship Spreading the Good Word About New Articles From our logs: 23:04, October 9, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.90.32.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.) 10:48, October 13, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Dwarfman1122 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Thought you wouldn't be caught, eh? Maybe now you'll think twice the next time you vandalize and then wait three weeks to be banned.) 18:27, October 13, 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.245.120.78 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(Please enjoy our token Fuck the Hell Off.....) 08:10, October 15, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sudeepk9 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (wow, we are a beacon of sunshine today, aren't we?) 21:27, October 17, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(A wizard did this.) 17:36, October 19, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 72.93.168.203 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Liking Naruto and insisting we stop making fun of it. What? How is that not a reason to permanently ban someone?) Biopic of the Week Sog1970 has churned out a dozen featured articles in just a few short months, earning him a Writer of the Month nod and now, the most esteemed honor on Uncyclopedia, an UnSignpost biopic. The lack of information on his user page makes writing said biopic rather difficult, but let it be known that Sog radiates awesome. Old School Featured Article of the Week Life's Answerable Questions are a series of ponderances and queriums that have most certainly not chafed at mankind the way other, more disgustingly unanswerable questions have. For example, asking "What's new?" to a stranger will certainly elicit a less confused response than one of those other questions. You know the ones we mean. CAJEKWATCH 05:42, October 15, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 minutes ‎(Because I saw you existing.) 01:23, October 16, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎(HOLY SHIT IT'S CAJEK HI CAJEK PS BANBANBAN LOLOLOL) 13:21, October 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 147 seconds ‎(I think I'm stressed, I need a release, and this is the best available on this wiki) Random Obscene Japanese Lesson "Kimi no te de boku o ikasete." means "Make me cum with your hand." "Kimi no oppai ga DEKAI yo! Ii nee." means "Your breasts are HUGE! Nice." "Omawarisan! Chikan o tsuka-mate!" means "Police! Arrest this pervert!" That should keep you little squirts happy... Reason to Leave Uncyc #387 Still no good restaurants. This Week in Uncyc, 1933 With the United States deep in a depression, the Uncyclopedia tri-weekly newsreel tried to lighten the mood by poking fun at American President Herbert Hoover and his bumbling sidekick of a Vice President, the famed Charles Curtis. Gags included, and were limited to, both individuals being hit repeatedly with rubber chickens. Mass Delusion of the Week Last week, many users claim to have had similar psychic visions of an alternate Main Page, which told them to do things in a calm, soothing voice. Such notions are of course nonsense; 7 out of the 10 members who sit on the Uncyclopedia Paranormal Activity Investigation and Acupuncture Licensing Board agree that a combination of swamp gas and Venus caused some users to hallucinate vividly, some nearly to the point of seizure. Record for Most Boxes Tied Due to the overwhelmingly large number of stories in this week's extremely humorous edition of the UnSignpost, a correspondingly overwhelmingly large number of space-wasting side boxes had to be added to cause the issue to weigh equally on both sides of reader's talk pages. As a result, the record for number of such boxes has been tied; this issue, along with the March 24th, 1983 edition, have had the most wasted space! Record Broken!!!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  18:14, Oct 23

Jesus Christ Article

Hey I noticd that you seem to have been editing a Jesus Christ article in which I did the majority of the writing. I agree with you that the quotes were far too many, and I'm up for Chcuk Norris being removed, but as the creator of the article I would like the rest to remain. Thank you for your time --Legolas11 20:52, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

Legolas, it might be a good idea for you to place a copy of the edited article in your userspace to edit so that once you are happy with it we can have a discussion about whether everyone is happy to replace the existing article with a new version. This whole site revolves around collaboration, so obviously there is a lot of give and take within that and its a fine line between people getting emotionally attached to "their work" and taking pride in making improvements to the site. You seem more than bright enough to realise this so I'm not going to lecture anyone. :) There are enough subjects out there that no one has touched yet to keep us all in potential new article matters for the rest of our lives, I'd always advise people not to become fixated on specific articles or subjects. Feel free to put your talents to good use.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

He's a smart man, that Mhaille character. I also heard he's pretty damn attractive. ~ 09:42, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

/me blushes.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Gives rubbish head, though. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:10, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

But his scrotum is pretty wide. BTW, JT, as long as I got you here - I have an idea for the Jewish cuisine article. Change the standard approach into a "Geneva convention over bio hazard grade materials" style. Give me a couple of days and I'll try to design it. ~ 15:14, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Sounds good to me...erm, the changes to the article, that is, there's no need to agree on Mhaille's scrotum because we all know about that. I think I'm kind of out of ideas for the moment anyway so I'll wait to see what you do with it and then continue. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:14, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Take a look (at the article, not Mhaille's scrotum, we can delay that for now). This is the approach I thought about. I have loads of other warning signs in the same theme than I can upload. Also, got other items to add to the list. What do you think? ~ 16:25, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

As you may already have seen on the article's discussion page, I think it's a great idea - it needed something to make it stand out and that could be precisely what it needed. Incidentally, be prepared to supply recipes for anything you add that I take a fancy to! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:32, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

So, do you think Mhaille's scrotum counts as a Jewish delicacy? ~ 16:47, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Only one way to find out - we eat it and see if we end up in Gehenna. You try it first. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:53, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Age before beauty, ~ 16:58, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

I don't understand. Is Mhaile's scrotum aged or beautiful? Pup 00:24, 28/10/2009

MNU Templates

About that, I edited the templates so that it only contains human text, the non-human text being posted in links. The revised templates were much slimmer, and certainly looked better on the articles. But MrN9000 and Jack Phoenix huffed the pages containing the non-human text, so I had to revert the templates back to the original chunky versions. If you can unhuff MNU Approved (non-human) and MNU Banned (non-human), I can unchunk the templates.{Markchung 17:19, October 26, 2009 (UTC)}

Ma nishma?

My ban quota's ridiculously low atm. Why does Cajek get all the fun?! D: -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:42, 26 Oct

Toda Raba ^_^ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 23:05, 26 Oct

Mordillo!

Hey! I'm a substitute teacher now who's still trying to get into grad school. God, it's taking forever. Also, I'm getting over the swine flu. I think I'm reverting to my noobish state with my articles: I'm trying to reinvent myself or something: Hmmm... Anyway, thanks for banning me, CREEP. YEAH, THANKS. YEAH.   Le Cejak • <22:47 Oct 26, 2009>

It's always nice to see you around these parts of town. PIG. ~ 22:48, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Forgot to say this earlier, but...

...thanks for both liking my article and nominating it. I very much appreciate both. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:17, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

The kids are talking about Conservation Week...

...if you want to put your two cents in. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:19, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

Kids these dats. In my days, I tell ya, we were busy preparing moonshine in our backyard. ~ 19:57, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

Lucky you. We worked in the hummus mines. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:00, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

Quick Request

Can you take down the UnBook of mine you nominated for VFH? I'd like to revise it a bit based upon what people voting Against have been saying, and hopefully improve it. Thanks! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:05, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

I see that TKF already obliged. ~ 09:50, October 29, 2009 (UTC)

Another request

My morning ban is late. It's past noon in my time zone already! Reason could be "for distracting people with lewd emails while they're supposed to pay attention in class..." :P (Yes, there is a nude pic of <insert name here> in your inbox.) :D -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 10:07, 29 Oct

That is titillating disgusting! Pup 11:42, 29/10/2009

Damn, you got me here with the USERNAME thing.. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 14:04, October 29, 2009 (UTC)

/me acts blissfully ignorant about any foul play... What username thing? O_o -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 14:16, 29 Oct

Mordillo, My long lost love!

I want to personally thank you for keeping the candle in the window burning for so many years. My beacon of hope, directing me back to UnNews. Also, I want to deeply thank you for the warm welcome home party. But to answer your question, just got fired from NASA again, apparently sending a bomb to the moon is a 'bad' idea. — H. Peebles - D - HS

Idiots. They'll never learn will they? ~ 21:41, October 29, 2009 (UTC)

Make it work

For some reason, I can't move my new and improved Queen Elizabeth to Queen Elizabeth I. Any chance that you could use your superpowers to make it happen? -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  20:26, October 29, 2009 (UTC)

Done. I've also made you a cup of coffee. Cream and sugar. ~ 21:41, October 29, 2009 (UTC)

Can you do a quick semi-protect?

I refer to this. If you check the history, you'll see that the page, which is supposed to be (and currently is) a redirect, has been hit by IPs in the last month who have tried to turn it into a really bad article. I figure a temporary semi-protect might be in order on this one. --Andorin Kato 21:42, October 29, 2009 (UTC)

Done. I've also gave you foot massage. ~ 21:46, October 29, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you! --Andorin Kato 21:51, October 29, 2009 (UTC)

Hello

I want a pony! Pup 01:58, 30/10/2009

Well, if you had voted for Bill Richardson, then you could have gotten a pony. But you voted for RAHB. Idiot. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:03, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Done. I've also placed Pamela Anderson butt naked on that pony. ~ 05:19, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Why would you do that to a defenseless pony? What did it ever do to you? --UU - natter 09:47, Oct 30

All right, Megan Fox? ~ 12:08, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Am I getting this right?

Rollbacking an edit deletes the record of that edit from the editor's contributions, so we are not advised to rollback unless the edit is blatant vandalism? The whole thing doesn't make much sense to me, so I hope I am not getting it right.. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 09:43, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

The only thing that deletes the record from contributions is if you delete the actual article, so rollback doesn't remove the the record of the contributions. You are advised to use it for vandalisms not for that reason, but for the reason that reverting a noob or a casual editor without good reasoning in the summary line, leads to people being pissed off for being reverted. Also, I've baked you a cake. ~ 12:06, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

So, are you saying that my summaries should be a little more informing than "meh" and "epic fail"? And that I'm required to give a reason for reverting "oprah and chuck norris are conspiring to rule the world"? And that you've baked me a cake? Really?! =) I'll drop by your place tonight and pick it up.. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 12:20, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Well, really only if it seems that it's someone that is putting some effort into his editing. You don't need to put a summary for every blah/fag/cunt/now trash that someone adds. 19:30. Don't be late. ~ 12:30, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

GMT or your local time? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 12:36, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

My local time. ~ 12:56, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Fine. See ya at 19:30 GMT. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 12:59, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

I said 19:30 my time. ~ 13:50, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

GMT +1 or +2? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 14:29, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW AND FOR YOU TO FIND OUT! ~ 14:45, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

GMT +9000? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 15:26, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Just Wondering...

On the watchlist page, there are green/red numbers next to articles I created or edited. What are they? Mijnheer Markchung, Keiser van die Boerstaat.

That's the number of characters added or removed to or from the article during the last edit. ~ 18:02, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry I'm late (or early?)

Where's my cake? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 17:56, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Early. You're GMT +2? ~ 18:02, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Yes. You +3? If so, you should give me the cake, riiiight... NOW. (give or take a minute) • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 18:30, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Why do I even bother?

Did you perhaps see that pee review I got?

I can't say I'm reacting rationally, but I think I should just quit while I'm ahead. Whenever I try to do things in the main space, or submit something for a pee, I get crushed, bashed and insulted. :(

Okay, so I'm PMSing, I think. But that's beyond the point. I'm not worthy of Uncyclopedia, so I should be gone. I'll just run off crying now. :(

I would very much like to issue my own response to this. I did not insult, crush or otherwise belittle anyone's style of writing. I pointed out problems with the article in a constructive and what was supposed to be a helpful manner. It took me an hour of my free time to assemble those comments for her. Her responses have been:

• To blank the PEE review page.

• To go to my talk page and abuse me, and my reviewing.

• To go to Uncyclopedian of the month and vote against me because I gave her a poor PEE review score leaving the edit summary: "Punctuate that. Twat."

While I accept I am not a perfect uncyclopedian, these actions are rude, immature and offensive and they have left me feeling very annoyed. I tried to help this user and in response she vandalises and insults me, and her excuse is that she is PMSing. This is unacceptable behaviour, and to attempt to excuse it like that is even more insulting to me, if PMS renders her incapable of rational thought and causes her to be have like a 5 year old then perhaps she should stay off uncyclopedia for that time of the month. Please could you deal with this. I will accept a ban if you feel my behaviour has been out of line in any way. --ChiefjusticeDS 18:53, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Could any admin please step in here, this is getting way out of hand. --ChiefjusticeDS 18:59, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

No it isn't. I'm leaving. Thanks Chief, you really made my day. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:02, 30 Oct

Luvvy, please see your talk page. Chief - I've seen what's going on, let's see if we can find a diplomatic way to get through this. --UU - natter 19:06, Oct 30

I saw that Uncle UU took care of the situation and hope everyone feels better now. ~ 09:43, October 31, 2009 (UTC)

>:-(

Hello, Mordillo, remember me, Flutter, the one you gave a infi-ban over the 3 month one because of a explination and if I did not do that i would have not get a infiniate ban and that 3 month ban would already have ended on the 28th????

And before mentioning that Journey to the Lost Isle-er edit, counting as a sock edit, it was an accident cause i was testing. Sure you mat not belive me but still I had the courtesy to mention it. Thanks. 69.108.105.143 16:57, October 31, 2009 (UTC)

Monarchial Republic of Greece

Dude WTF, W T F, the Hellass page was funny, i spend time on it, the Ancient-Modern greeks joke was funny, also other things, you cannot just chop 28,223 bytes of 1 month work of jokes from registered members to 27,838 bytes to "pre war" free ip edits just like that.

And my block from editing? WTF for was that for man!? Block Stupidis4eva! and Desfa that have been spam vandaling the article in the last 24h, both accounts made october 09, both active just on this page... but blocking me... for what? Zullu 11:55, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

You are editing here, hence you are not blocked. The article is protected from editing due to edit warring. I'll take a look at it again. ~ 12:01, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

I've restored it to your version even though, to be honest, both versions are not very good. I kept the protection on for a cool down period for now. ~ 12:37, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

Who the hell is this Zulu guy? He owns a fake comedy article? Good for him! Lord forgive me for adding some funny things to it, considering that uncyclopedia is the wrong medium if you DON'T want to have your articles added on or edited. I have only been adding some subsections and not deleting entire sections as that Greek Desfa jerk did. In fact, all my original edits ARE STILL ON. None of you deleted them, since let's face it, you LIKED them. The only one who has been deleting the whole lot was Desfa and I was trying to undo the unfunny stuff 'Greece is the best' shit. So, Zoehole, shove it! Yours sincerely and with love, Stupidis4eva! 08:35, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Gentlemen, let's get something straight. The reason I got involved here is because of your edit war, not because I liked either version. Both (and all version for this article) are bad. This article is not funny, and badly formatted and it has been like that forever. What I propose for the both of you is to get on the talk page of this article, and work together to produce a great article for the glory of Greece. You can also try to work with these guys. ~ 08:56, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

What edit warring are you talking about? When I reviewed the article it was already in a mess. Everything was all over the place. It was basically in the same condition as when you first saw it, but even worse. I only tried to revert it to something readable. When for some reason I was unable to revert some of Desfa's fuck ups I simply jumped to Zullu or whatever hoping it would make the article readable, when in fact it didn't. When I was unable to revert it any further I requested help from someone on one of the admin pages. Now how is that edit warring?!?Stupidis4eva! 15:33, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

Chief would like thank you for voting for him to be UotM for October Thanks! It means a lot to me, which is quite depressing on it's own.

Honestly, I'm not causing any trouble this time, while I'm here, thanks for sorting my many problems out, also, I made you a cake!. --ChiefjusticeDS 15:42, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

There you are, going around causing trouble again. *sigh* ~ 15:58, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

now you owe me two

there's no such word as "mytery" • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 17:40, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

Actually, there is. It's Venusian. Dick. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:44, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

Your mom is a wrong resolution.

Pwned. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:19, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

My mom is HD. And yours? ~ 18:20, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

UD. For real. Only Japanese people see her. Them and eagles. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:22, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

An award? What?

I hadn't realised I was in the runnung. I know, I'm lazy because I don't vote...I should try and get better than that. Thanks for the award, I figure it boosts my fear index up to a 12.556. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:40, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

I would say 15 at least. I was surprised this was only your first time, I was sure you got that like 200 times already. ~ 20:52, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

Yoda

I was in my programming class in college and the professor told the class that "Yoda" is a Hebrew word for "wisdom" or "knowing." My mind = BLOWN. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 07:05, Nov 2 2009

Well, nearly, it's yeda. But it's close enough! ~ 07:15, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Yadda yadda yadda... Pup

Exactly! ~ 08:41, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Think you can permanently ban instead?

(Block log); 03:33 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Oldcumcheese (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month (this guy smells funny)

He's a sock. This (and maybe this) should be all the proof you need. --Andorin Kato 10:40, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

And you still don't know how to format wiki. Shame on you. ~ 10:48, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

What'd I do? --Andorin Kato 19:55, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Uber intending above O_O ~ 21:10, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Can I solicit your advice?

Hi there. I have a quick question regarding conservation week - does wholesale clearcutting (and replanting, of course) count if the existing article is complete balls? I want to work on this idea. I know this article as is is way too polemic and perhaps not funny enough to make up for that but that's as it may be, I'll work on that. I'm not whoring a pre-review here, I'd just like to contribute to CW, and I don't know if this kind of thing (complete concept bulldozing) constitutes the kind of rewrite that goes with CW, or is it reserved for articles that just need fixing, but are promising in concept?

Thanks. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 19:51, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Don't see any problem with that. You're supposed to salvage whatever you can from the original, but if there's nothing salvageable, well, just take the place down and build over. Like extreme makeover - home edition. I can't believe I just related something to that. ~ 21:10, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

I'm having the most beautiful dream

"Did you ever have the feeling that you're in the most beautiful dream and you never want to wake up?"

Yes, and it's happening right now. Even though October is done and gone, that really cool write-up you made of me is still on the front page. I assume, however, that I'll have to wake up some day and the current NotM and WotM will be described in wondrous detail. Actually, I'm curious; are those writeups always done by admins? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:24, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah yeah, real world stuff got in the way, hopefully I'll get to it later on tonight. It's being written by admins because we are all cool and sexy. ~ 17:19, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Oh I know you are. I usually gaze longingly at admin signatures when I do my self-pleasuring. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:00, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

That was a tad too much information. ~ 20:04, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

My signature is the sexiest on this site. I know you are all envious. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:46, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

We bow our heads in shame Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 22:53, November 3, 2009 (UTC)~

Yes, Chieftain (isn't that the nickname someone called you that you said you liked?), I tried for days to get my signature to be that particular shade of blue. All I can do is black. Why can't I be colorful like Chief? 03:32, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Chieftain sounds like some kind of gladiator, no, it was Chiefster, because it exemplifies my wacky fun loving nature. --ChiefjusticeDS 11:57, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 29-10-2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!

October 29th, 2009 • Issue 69 • Hehehe, 69

9001(bot)  01:37, Nov 3

Attn: Regarding an article hosted on your website

Dear Mr/Ms Mordillo/archive16, Greetings. I am the lawyer for Arthur C. Clarke's estate. It has come to my assistant's attention that you recently supported an article on this website (henceforth referred to as "Uncyclopedia"), namely the article titled 2001: A Space Odyssey, to be featured on the website front page. We are honoured, although, of course: 1. We are fully aware of just how monumentally great the film is, and 2. We are preparing a suit against you for supporting copyright infringement, and the author of the article (referred to as "MacMania") is currently under arrest at Sri Lanka (not Ceylon).* However, we would be obliged if you would be able to do us one small favour. As interim representatives of Clarke's estate, we are in talks with Random House to commission a fifth book to add to the 2001 trilogy of four books. We've always been of the opinion that 3001: The Final Odyssey was too bleak of a book, and we would love to have the series finish on a slightly more upbeat note. We were thinking 3010: And Another Odyssey, by J K Rowling? Please let us know. Your obedient servant (in a figurative sense) James Steel c/o Alesha Phillips London EC4M 7EH UK * Why Ceylon got the works is nobody's business but the Sinhalese.

It's a bit late, but not as late as a late parrot. Thanks! Sir MacMania GUN—[13:50 3 Nov 2009]

Better late than never is what me old pa used to say. ~ 17:19, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Stealing Redirect Pages

Hey, I was wondering if it would be ok for me to take a redirect page and use it as the title of my article? The redirect page in question is Final Fantasy Football, which is what I wanted to call my article really. Siddartha-Wolf said it was ok but he said to check with you. Hugs and kisses, --Black flamingo11 15:39, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Yep, no problem there, better a full article than a redirect. What I would suggest is that you write it in your space and then move it to the name you want, so we won't have half baked article instead of the redirect. ~ 17:19, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Will do, thanks for the help. --Black flamingo11 18:52, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Isn't it time for an archive?

I mean really. This is getting ridiculous. Also, good job on the WotM and NotM write-ups (esp. BlueSpiritGuy's). Also also, UGotM hasn't been updated. Also also also, you're a Jew. Nobody likes them. Even the ones who say they do. They're just lying. Also also also also, also. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 06:41, Nov 4 2009

UgotM wasn't updated?! HEAVENS! I'll go shit on someone immediately. And yes, you're right. It is ridiculous. ~ 09:17, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Yes, and we can never have the ridiculous on Uncyclopedia. Pup

Oh, and you misspelled humour on the WotM. Pup

"And thank you for writing nice stuff about me, again". Also, unfortunately to all of you English descendants, the spelling being taught in Israel in the American way. I do apologize. ~ 10:38, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

When did I write nice stuff about you? Seriously, it is much appreciated. Meant to say thank you before but got distracteded. Pup