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- Fall Down a Mineshaft and Die and Come Back as a Ghost that Haunts the Mineshaft
- Fabricate a New Language
- Defend yourself from an ostrich
- Kidnap someone
- Start Your Own Country
- Understand
- Cite spaghetti
- Play the Guitar
- Arrest Tony Blair
- Deny a genocide
- Stage a home invasion
- Write unnecessarily long headlines that annoy everyone who reads them because they take up...
- Make a New Year's resolution
- Lollygag
- Not sexually harrass someone
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- Spell Volodymyr Zelenskyy
- Install a ceiling fan without getting your dick stuck in it
- Be an adult
- Fry an egg
- Repair a broken smartphone
- Cure homosexuality
- Know if you're right brained or left brained
- Wash the Dishes
- Be Russian
- Teach a six-legged lame man how to jump rope
- Beet off
- Meet women
- Make your own Large Hadron Collider
- Be German
- Insulate your loft