HowTo:Rule the Earth
Are you annoyed with the world? Do you wish you could shut up the Karen next door? Do you think you could make the world a better place? Well, this guide can help you take over the world!
Step 1: Evil Lair[edit | edit source]
To start ruling the world, you need an evil lair to keep those pesky superheroes away. You can buy an evil lair from MyEvilLair.com. Make sure your evil lair comes with all the new gadgets like: security, security, security... and more security. For some reason, most people who buy an evil lair don’t have security. How strange!
Step 2: Influence[edit | edit source]
After you've bought your evil lair, you need influence — you need an army! You can gain influence by telling people that you support their ideals, like: outsiders are bad, race supremacy, and of course, world domination. Make sure, your minions believe in their ideals to the point that they’ll do anything for them.
Step 3: Invasion[edit | edit source]
You now have minions. Hooray! Now you can invade countries. Use your influence to get more minions, and use ridiculously dumb evil plots that may or may not work to take over multiple countries. Repeat this step until you rule all the countries.
Congratulations![edit | edit source]
You now rule the Earth! Now you can do whatever you want — until those pesky heroes stop you!