HowTo:Behave Yourself
So you want to know how to Behave yourself. Maybe you want to impress that chick next door. Maybe you want to be the coolest kid on the block. Whatever it may be, here's how to do it. Wait, you don't want to? THEN GET OFF THE FUCKING PAGE! Sorry, Looks like I need this guide, right? Right?? RIGHT!?!?!?
Step One: Take a fucking chill pill, DICK![edit | edit source]
The first thing you need to do is calm yourself. Sit down, drink some gasoline water and take a few deep breaths. Maybe pet that kitten over there. Oh, you're allergic? FUCK YOU! Sorry, getting a little ticked here.
Step Two: Get some manners, FUCKFACE[edit | edit source]
Now you're going to want to learn some manners. Here's some examples, you bitch. Damn it, not again!
| Good | Bad |
|---|---|
| Pass the salt, dear fellow | Give me the fucking salt, DICK! |
| Would you please pour some more coffee? | I need coffee NOW, damn it! |
| Have a nice day! | Go fuck yourself. |
| Please | Give |
| That appears to be mine, and i would like it back, please. | That's fucking MINE! GIVE IT! |
Step Three: Clothes[edit | edit source]
If you want to stop looking like a hobo and maybe even get a date, you're going to need nice clothes. Collared shirt, nice pants, maybe even a tie. You should know how to tie a tie. You don't? MORON! You'll also need shoes. No slippers or tennis shoes. Moccasins are right out. Good, nice shoes. Maybe leather.
Step Four: Hygiene[edit | edit source]
This is an important part. Comb your hair. Take a shower. Brush your teeth. Deodorant. Maybe even some cologne, if you can afford it, BROKE BASTARD! Whoops, haha. Little more deodorant. Fix your hair, fagface. You look like Michael Jackson's pubic hair.
Conclusion[edit | edit source]
So now you know how to behave yourself. Go out, teach this to others, and don't fuck up, dickwipe. Wait, you fucked up? FUCKING RETARD! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!? I'LL FUCKING SHOW YO-is that a gun? NO! AAAAA-
