User talk:Clemens177

Answers

I have moved your page to John Galt, which is where it should be as an article. Did you mean to start that page in your userspace? Because you actually started it as another user's userpage. Tip: articles prefixed "User:" go to the user with the name that follows the colon. To create that article in your userspace, you should have created User:Clemens117/John Galt. Bear that in mind next time, and you won't go far wrong. Also, don't remove content from any talk pages except your own (this one). A more trigger happy admin may have banned you for that. Not a threat, just a tip for the future! Good luck, see you around the wiki. --UU - natter 09:20, May 19

Thanks, I appreciate the help! Clemens177 09:22, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

No worries. Other tips: on talk pages, indent any new posts by using colons at the start of the line like I just have - makes things easier to follow. And put any new topics under a header, like that "Answers" one I created up there - makes things easier to follow, and conversations easier to find (particularly if your talk page gets as crammed as some do!) If you have any other questions, have a word on my talk page, I'm generally around and happy to help. --UU - natter 09:25, May 19

Thanks again! I'll do that! --Clemens177 10:11, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Nice UnNews

UnNews:Mother flees with child to avoid health ruling Is pretty funny. Have some cheese --Concernedresident 22:35, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

You've got some potential

I've read a few of your articles, and they have the potential to be really good with some polish/tune-up. I'd suggest submitting some of them to Pee Review for advice from fellow users. So yeah. Oh, I'm Guildy, by the way. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:14, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

I don't know what you mean by "is there something I should already have," which is what you said in your post to me just a moment ago. However, I (as well as most users here) almost always submit a work to Pee Review once it's finished to get some feedback on it. It's a really good system, actually. Sometimes it takes a while to get your thing reviewed, but it's ussually worth it to have a second, third, or even fourth opinion on your work. I would suggest submitting Atlas Shrugged and John Galt for review at the moment. Polish those up, and then do the same with some of your other articles. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:23, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh, also, I'm obligated to advertise my usergroup, as you are a new user and would be very useful doing this sort of thing. I'm also fairly certain Atlas Shrugged would be the sort of notable thing you'd get credit for writing, so yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:25, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey, bro

I've noticed that you are into UnNews. So am I! I think we could share ideas or write an article together potentially. Staircase CUN^t 02:55, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Of sigs and such

Say, clem, dont you want a fancy signature? You know, everybody has one (except me, I have five. Whatever) and, you know, a nice sig gives you easy access to the Kewl Kidz Klub and so forth. What do you say? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:13 May 27 '09

Here

... is the link to me UnNews that I jsut finshed. If you will, could you come up with an image? Also, feel free to change something around, and add stuff. but just try to keep in the idea of where he blew the money on drugs, ok? Also, Feel free to start you article up, I'll give it the good ol' touch up when you're done. Staircase CUN^t 22:38, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

May I recommend...

...that you hunt down more pictures for your pages? Google is quite handy. Apparently, there are a bunch of pictures of things, stuff and whatnot on "the internets". More than a single picture on a page helps to prevent the "wall of text", an effect that frightens both young and old alike. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:40, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

What up Clem?

Your UnNews articles have been lengthy and good, I'm quite impressed. One thing to note when editing Template:RecentUnNews is that the convention is to put only a part of the headline you have written in bold and linked. So for example, instead of writing
HR Director slowly losing it.......... it would be better to do something like ............... HR director slowly losing it.
Otherwise, the main page begins to look like one entire side is yelling at people. Also, it's alright to use an alternate title on Template:RecentUnNews from your article's title, e.g.
Human resources gets some homicide........... or something equally silly.

Alright, keep up the good work! IronLung 06:50, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

A belated welcome, with few apologies and zero transfat

This isn't your (or somebody you know) fellow employee or something, right? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:19, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

I haven't mentioned to yet that I've noticed your enthusiasm for UnNews. Thanks for keeping your articles coming. Also, here; have a complimentary "Welcome to UnNews" thing. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:19, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

WELCOME TO UNNEWS

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Clemens177, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

---

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

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If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

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If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

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At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:19, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

As to the picture, I get all my cute girl pics from porn sites. A surprising thing is that they always have a variety of pics, and they always start out clothed. You should see her unclothed....wow. As to the advise or commands...uh...okay. *smiles* --Clemens177 12:23, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

HEY

-yah i liked your edits on the orginal they made it alot better... --Fruitloopeater 16:02, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

Moved

I moved your article to User:Clemens177/Attention Whore endlessly hitting refresh because it's vanity.I didn't delete it because it looked like you invested some time into it, and maybe you have some other use for it. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 09:24, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for pointing out that the link was still on the main page. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:51, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

The finer points of UnNews and comments on UnNews:Superfriends revealed! Wendy Harris-Vulcan tells all!

A couple of things about this article: you don't need to add [[Category:June 2009]] as a category because the UnNews template has a template which datestamps the article into a date category.

Another small thing; a few of us at UnNews like to keep a few things consistent, and I tend (with few exceptions) to tidy up articles which I think are worth my efforts. It seems you don't put Sources at the end of your articles generally.

It's another consistency thing to make us look better than The Onion. I like to make them ironic and funny in my own way, but if you add your own, it may be ironic and funny in a way that flows better with your intent. Having said that, it's not a big deal, and in fact, I like doing them as little challenges to amuse myself, with not a care if no one else notices.

Lastly, your articles are on the long side. This is not a bad thing, just something I noticed. Remember that long is ok, but does not add value to an article in itself. Personally, I'd rather have two funny medium length articles, which most readers will probably read through, than a hilarious, really long one which more readers might not finish. At least, this is acording to zims' rule, which states there are more stupid people than smart ones around at present.

Let me conclude by saying you seem to be a good fit with UnNews. Thanks for your contributions, and for paying attention to my drivel. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:34, 6 June 2009 (UTC)

Dear Miss Manners...

Miss Manners would like all of you to add your letters here. Just edit this section and add to the end of the list, and if you are worth getting to, Miss Manners will get to you.

Dear Miss Manners,

I am a koala. I have been for all my life, and I have found it to be an immensely satisfying lifestyle. I have never regretted my decision, however recently it has become a bit of a burden. Ever since I opened up about it to my girlfriend, she refuses to take me seriously anymore. She coos at me when I yawn, takes photos of me in trees to show her friends, and generally giggles when I do amusing or cute things. Plus, we never have sex anymore. What's worse, she's told my co-workers, and now they don't take me seriously either. Whereas previously I was entrusted with the monetary transfers of millions of dollars, now they make me climb the potted tree in the corner and chew on eucolyptus leaves all day. It's embaressing. Being a marsupial is no laughing matter, I assure you. It's a 24 hour a day job, grooming, snoozing, yawning, looking adorable, it's all immensely time consuming. I have been able to balance these tasks with my work and personal life successfully for thirty years, even when I was at Harvard studying tax law. So why, oh why, do my fellows and my beloved now treat me like some sort of trained chimp? Please tell me how to re-establish myself with my co-workers and my girlfriend. You're the only one who can help.

Yours sincerely,

Archibald the Koala

UnNews:Jill Stanek wins pro-choice Sanger Award!

You have a lot of time on your hands, don't you clem? It's ironic, how ironic this article is. Cheers! zim 06:47, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

RecentUnNews

I've edited Template:RecentUnNews to look more like it was intended. Try to keep your additions in a similar format, please. Thanks and cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 09:50, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Could you revert the edits ? I am not keen on the Nazi connections in the article. Please keep your jokes about the land though. their's and ours. Thanks. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 07:47, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Hope that helps! Clemens177 08:02, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Hi Clemens. I took out the 'penis' and 'slave' links as well but tried to keep the other bits I liked. I am not against anyone adding to my articles but sometimes there is a danger another contributor will take it in a direction not intended by the original author. Also I would suggest it may be advisable to post a note to the writer to see if they welcome additions or not. This will also go for a feature as well. I think this is advisable when you are dealing with regular or 'live' contributors (i.e. people who have been active here for last few months at least). I am pretty laid back but other writers here do bite a lot more if they think their work is being changed too much. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 08:57, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Miss Manners

This is a picture of Lady Sonia, you naughty boy. (Google it. Unless you're at work).

Google it? You naive child, while her name as Britain's hottest online dominatrix porn queen is indeed "Lady Sonia", here in my flat her name is simply "honey", as in "Honey, grab me a cold one before dressing up as a Nurse and masturbating me!" =) --Clemens177 18:21, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh shit, and I thought she was one of them amateur porn sluts... Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:12 June 17 '09

"Christian anarchist"?

So, you called yourself that in the forum topic I started. In fact, you called yourself that just a few moments ago! ...what does it mean?   Le Cejak • <1:50 Jun 18, 2009>

As a Christian, I believe the Bible when it says that all governments are of Satan, and the only allegiance you should grant is to Jehovah. Both the Old and New Testament specifically spoke out against governments. They are to be endured, but not followed. See 1 Samuel 8 for God's advice against having a government. It's believed to be the first anarchic essay in history. Also notice that the Kings then were a good deal nicer then our Presidents now. --Clemens177 02:36, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, that sounds pretty crazy, but you should prepare for people to mock you on Uncyc. Yer a good writer, though.   Le Cejak • <3:31 Jun 18, 2009>

Not sure that this forum gives much opportunity for mocking individual contributers, though those who are Christian are well used to that. I'm glad you think I'm a good writer. Oh...and I surely can't be the only Christian here, it's just that most Christians on the net don't admit it as there is so much prejudice and bigotry against them. --Clemens177 04:00, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Being a Christian is normal, but I've never heard of a Christian anarchist. I don't follow the Fountainhead or Ayn Rand like you do. Although, you did a good job mocking her, so...? Anyway, you Christians win in real life, so quit yer bitchin' :D (just respond here, Clemens, you don't need to copy it to my talk page)   Le Cejak • <4:03 Jun 18, 2009>

I have heard of Christian anarchism before. Leo Tolskoy was a Christian anarchist. --Docile hippopotamus 04:06, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

As it happens I loosely follow much of the doctrine of Jehovah's Witnesses, though as a smoker (and for other reasons) they would not regard me as one. The Witnesses regard all the governments of Earth as under the control of Satan, and yes, the Bible definitely supports that. So their allegiance, as mine, is only to Jehovah, just as the Bible mandates. That we're quiet about it doesn't change that around 16 million - by some estimates - around the world believe it. --Clemens177 04:13, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Îa Îa Shub Niggurath.   Le Cejak • <4:43 Jun 18, 2009>

Lovecraft, huh? Never really got into all that. --Clemens177 05:05, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Doesn't matter if you have: we're all dead soon, anyway. So, what was that about your human "gods"? I get the feeling that you expect them to protect you from the deep ones?   Le Cejak • <5:11 Jun 18, 2009>

Well, I can only assume you are joking, if you have an actual belief in the writings of a science fiction writer. On the other hand, if that's truly your belief, then peace, that's freedom. As for me, I do believe in Jehovah, and as a part of that, yes, he would protect me from any "deep ones" which I would label as "devils" or "demons". --Clemens177 06:10, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

That's very very very very very very very optimistic of you. Your anthropocentric viewpoint is sure to come in handy when... uh... but yeah, all the cultists in the wiki say "hey!"   Le Cejak • <6:15 Jun 18, 2009>

Hey! But yeah, at least I'm not a Scientologist.   Le Cejak • <6:18 Jun 18, 2009>

Not optimistic at all. The Bible speaks pretty clearly one what one must do to be saved, and Satan isn't near as strong as Jehovah. He's just an angel gone bad, is all, and easily enough dealt with if you remember who to call upon. Not sure how that's "anthropocentric", though. Theocentric, perhaps.

Glad to hear you are not a Scientologist. It amazes me that such an ideology could take off. Ahh, well. --Clemens177 07:24, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

That's very very very very optimistic and human of you. Do you think the deep ones care about your so-called "bible"? In that sense it's VERY human-centric. It's okay, Clemens. It's okay, take a load off and quit worrying so much about the deep ones. That's right, here's some warm milk. You keep living in your dreamworld, far away from reality. That's right, there's no such thing as "deep ones" keep thinking that take a load off just relax.   Le Cejak • <14:42 Jun 18, 2009>

Well, I won't deny your right to worship thetan controlled, pre-cleared "deep ones", and I've heard that warm milk offering IS an actual sacrament for those in the SeaOrg...lol...hmm...tell you what, let me have that warm milk before Chancellor Sutler steals it! --Clemens177 18:29, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Saw you on Village Dump

I just wanted to let you know that I think you are quite talented and you should submit some of your writing for publication or send it to some agents. Seriously. Some of it is so good I can't believe you put it on here. I added to the discussion about IP addresses. Your expression of concern stood out to me because of the quality of your work. Do you have Adobe or another program you can pdf pages on? You might want to do that, especially if you have these pieces elsewhere and can use the pdfs to verify date of origin. Mozilla Firefox has a free tool for doing that. I know what you mean though about articlaes appearing and disappearing. I have been clicking way too much, being a nOOb and all and I did notice the other day that every time I clicked on the main page it looked different. I thought, is this place riddled with smoke and mirrors or what? Maybe you could help me on my first effort. I don't have much time but plan to work on it early tommorrow morning, very early, before the birds wake-up. - Hestian

"Hestian"

If there was a part of "fuck off, you goddamned filthy cunt" that you didn't understand, I'm sorry that I was unable to make myself clearer. I suppose this is where you'll attempt to post a variety of wavefiles from tape recordings you made of us when we were together, carefully cut and spliced. I'm sorry for this group, but I had no reason to know you knew the email addy I came here with.

You are the stalker that the police and courts have named you, and named you with more men than just me.

As to your ass kissing opinion on my writing, when I need a semi-literate loser to tell me the obvious...I'll be sure and go down to the homeless shelter and find someone who's opinion is more meaningful to me. I'm aware, by the way, that you copy all my work. You need to remember that I copyright all my shit.

Now...go rent the movie "Obsession" starring Jenna Elfman. Know that even if you looked like her, I'd still not fuck you. Know that the legal point made in the movie was valid. After a certain volume of emails - and I've several hundred archived on each of two different email accounts - the "threat" is just in the volume, regardless of whether an explicit threat is wrote. Not that you may not have already crossed the line with some comments you've made recently about your wishes for my wife.

Not that she and her family aren't scared already. As you type away playing the innocent, with a 24/7 day after day, month after month, non-stop barrage.

And since my wife has many more emails from you in her account, and my wife's daughter...and my wife's sister...and there's all those calls to me, her, her kids, her other relatives, my parents, my ex-girlfrieds and two former companies I worked at...Jesus. I know you are thinking that so long as you don't explicitly threaten my wife that I can't get a restraining order...but I advise you now - cease and desist emailing me and mine, or it will be court - but a criminal court, for criminal charges. And the volume of it all, the length of time - along with letters of confession from you of previous theft - will go along way towards that.

I am aware that you believe that you have "tapes" and/or "evidence" that will "prove" that I love you, or that I'm cock sucking asshole, or a bullshit artist, or a wife beating sociopath, or whatever delusional shit it is lately. But you need to go to an attorney - please, really, go to one, the consultations are usually free - and learn that no matter how much of a cocksucking asshole and all else that I may or may not be - it's fucking irrelevent to the fact that we are divorced, and you keep emailing, net stalking, harassing family and friends, calling and emailing me at my former employer, stalking me here....etc. Print this out and show it to him. Show him everything you've got of mine in your "Dean Shrine", show him all your tape recordings - you who aren't a stalker - and see what he says.

End this and get a fucking life. And no, you don't have one, or you'd not be pursuing me. You have "erotomania", a mental disorder in which you falsely believe someone loves you. You are an obsessive fucking twitch, with violent tendencies well known to many, who has provably travelled about the nation on several occassions trying to track me down, and incessantly stalks me and my wife now.

END IT. MOVE THE FUCK ON.

--Clemens177 00:54, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Note to members

Hestian is my ex-wife, and note how in her initial writing to me she pretends to be a stranger, and a stranger who clearly wishes to interact with me quite badly. Not a "hey, it's your friendly ex-wife who you get along with" but "Well, he hates me, so let me try in my feeble way to trick him into interacting with me".

However, her daily emails - I've left it on simply to collect all her shit, while using another email unknown to her for business - told me that she was here a week or so ago. Now her own main page here of "Hestian" (listed in Google as a "forgotten goddess"...get it?) shows her working on an article about "binkies", meaning pacifiers, and this comes two days after yet another of her emails to me, but one in which besides wishing my "Fat Ho Bag wife to burn in hell" also mentions a cute little story about her granddaughter losing her "binky" and the resulting furor.

Should someone truly doubt this, say so, and I'll email it to them. Only long term members, though. Else she'll pretend to need to see it just for the joy of having me email her.

--Clemens177 01:25, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

P.S. Oh, and if you check the "edit history", you'll see that after I posted this, she tried to delete her message to me, not realizing that nothing ever dies here. I've put it back, so you can see how she tried to bullshit me into thinking she was a random newbie.

I and everyone I know wants to see these emails. Cause I'm bored. Also, to Clemens' ex-wife, GET OVER IT! Goddamn. There's no reason to harass him over the goddamn Internet, especially over a humour site. What the fuck, lady? Do you want me to rape you? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:31, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Okay, two recent emails, bear in mind I'm divorced and remarried

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Why are you posting personal stuff here, Clemens? C'mon: it's disturbing.   Le Cejak • <1:53 Jun 24, 2009>

Because I'm under attack in a way that I hope you never learn of. I want her and all her IPs banned. Someone wanted "proof", I posted it. I'll foward the original to you if you still don't believe me. Better yet, I'll only forward it to an admin, if that's what they honestly need to see for them to act. That way, I can't be accused of diming out anyone's name or email indiscriminately. --Clemens177 01:58, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

I copied it and sent it them to everyone I know. We're all laughing. You is can blank it. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:00, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, Dexter. --Clemens177 02:04, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

No, thank your crazy ex-wife. I love screwing around with crazy people. I'm currently on the verge of getting an anti-abortionist to come to my house to have a gentleman's duel. Well, really the house is this abandoned house down the street and I'm going to call the cops on him for trespassing, while making sure they know he is armed. It'll be great. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:13, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Better still, arrange it so that a pro-choicer and pro-lifer show up. I find the fanatics on both sides a bit strident and annoying! --Clemens177 02:15, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

I find the fanatics on both sides to be extremely awesome! One might even say I'm a bit of a fanatic about it. In accordance with this belief, I challenge you to a gentleman's duel. I choose Dexter as my second. He seems to know much on these matters. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 02:35, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, I admire both sides perseverance....kind of. Truth is...well, nevermind, abortion talk is pretty much a no-winner. What did you have in mind for a duel? If it's a debate, I typically argue against both the pro-choice AND pro-life positions. --Clemens177 02:37, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

You are a liar. I am not your crazy ex-wife.

Ah, if that weren't the case, why would you be using a proxy to harass him? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:54, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

*Ignoring the above* Words? I don't want to duel on the sides of abortion! I want to hurt someone! GRRRRRRRRR! HAVE SOME OF THIS!

Nuns with Guns gunna shoot you bad!

You are in trouble now. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 02:58, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Wow dude

I'm really worried about you. Your ex-wife reminds me of Annie Wilkes. Have you considered getting a pitbull? Saberwolf116 15:48, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Dear valued Customer,

Your complaint has been registered with our department of complaints. Prompt service has been provided by us because we at UncycloCorp value you. The decision in your case has been decided at your local UncycloCorp Office. Please read it, follow its instructions, and have a nice day. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:17, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

With whatever is going on in your life...

Good luck. Truly. The President of Iran WOODY! DeathLife? to the infidels! Go USA? 01:37, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. --Clemens177 01:38, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Yes, good luck. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:03, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

I just hope you come back some day. You are a great writer. Just come back in a month under a different name. Saberwolf116 05:44, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Holy crap

You're younger than three months and already have 1000+ edits?!?!?!?!?! When I was your age (uncyclopedia wise) I only had like 100 edits! Hummm... well I don't edit Uncyclopedia every single day, so still, I better have like 7000+ edits by September. You were ether a super-noob or have already been in uncyclopedia.—Flutter (Talk•Games•Fun Pages•Awards•Help) 22:22, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

He's also permabanned. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:25, 26 Jun

Suicide Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:31 June 26 '09

Dammit guys! Get off his back! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:41, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh, sorry to hear that. Anyway, hope he comes soon! (and won't catch up to me)—Flutter (Talk•Games•Fun Pages•Awards•Help) 23:21, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

White House...

Wow. I wish you were still around to see it... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:23, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

I'm back, and thanks!

Dexter, I'm back, and thanks for the heads up! MrN, thanks for the unBan! And all of you, thanks for the new award!!

As to the personal issue I had before, be aware that I was able to get a court restraining order against my stalker, so I've no more worries on that score. Clemens177

I got no idea what's happening. I'm just pushing the buttons randomly here. Modus will probably spank me. That's what I'm counting on anyway... MrN 19:44, Aug 11

I do. No more Dramas eh Clemens? If you're back to write, than by all means we're happy to have you back. ~ 19:45, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Sure, Mordillo, as mentioned, I've a restraining order against that cyberstalker. Clemens177

WB Clemens177 !--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 20:05, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

You finally got oppressed by the government? Shoot, two and a half years ago the Secret Service came up to my school because of an apparent "threatening" email I sent to Dick Cheney. Yep. They wasted taxpayer money by harassing a 14 year old. Awesome, ain't it? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:19, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Good job, Dexter! I wish I had been oppressed at 14, I'd not have had to try so hard all these decades! --Clemens177

I tell ya. You guys have been watching too much of this. MrN 21:07, Aug 11

Good to see you back. --Docile hippopotamus 10:25, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Welcome back!

Hey, good to see you back! Hopefully UnNews will see a rise in activity again now! --Sir Sunbeam no u F@H KUN 20:47, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

User:Thekillerfroggy/FVwarning (Specifically, you separated the timestamp from someone's signature on the Bible VFH page.) -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:45, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

"'Apologies, Chancellor', murmured Inspector Finch" --Clemens177 00:45, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Two Things

First of all, welcome back! Second of all, I nominated your Kennedy UnNews for VFH. Just lettin' ya know. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:01, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

hey

Look here. --Docile hippopotamus 00:41, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Two More Things

First of all, I nominated your UnNews for VFH, and second of all, you should enter something in PLS, because I said so. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:33, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Now you've done it

You come over to my talk page, demanding respect, while in the same time you upload a picture of a heap of dead bodies, of murdered Jews during the holocaust? And you think this is good satire? You think you are entitled for respect after desecrating human beings like that? Perhaps you'd like to have a chat with my grand parents who both survived Auscwhitz and they will tell you about their own going nightmares? Perhaps you would like a medium to connect you with all of my family that didn't make it out? Hell, maybe you can recognize some of them in that picture? You have no boundaries and you have no sense of respect for your fellow human being and as such you don't deserve any from me. Go edit ED, they love pictures like that over there. ~ 10:54, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

I hate to get in the middle of things, but Clemens' pic fits. Not in good taste, by any means. Cordell Hull did do the thing that he did and he did get the Nobel Peace Prize, although not for that. It was for something else. Being a little evil is okay to the nominating committee, I guess, which means I can win it too. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:01, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

This is where I draw the line. A pile of dead people cannot be funny in any context what so ever. These are fucking human beings. And Modus, to be honest, I'm surprised that you restored that monstrosity before discussing that over with me. ~ 18:07, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Mordillo, the Holocaust isn't being used as a punchline. He's not making fun of the victims. The focus is the moral myopia around the Peace prize. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:14, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

All the more reason why not to use an unrelated picture of dead people. ~ 18:21, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Here are my 2 cents, unless its some historic documentation (ie. not uncyclopedia), shock pics (specially those of a dead human body) must not be used.. That's the Islamic ruling on that matter, if anybody cares • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 19:16 October 11 '09

Pornographic/shock/gore images which are clear copyright violations and/or which serve little satirical purpose WILL be deleted without warning. That's the Special:Upload ruling on that matter, if anybody cares. Sir MacMania GUN—[19:22 11 Oct 2009]

It's not an "unrelated picture". Anyway, I put a related but less graphic pic there. Can we go back to talking about boobies now? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:59, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Yes. The other day I saw that lady and she had some huge boobies. It was a fun experience • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 21:11 October 11 '09

UnNews:C.f.h.f. and other battles

I know you've been here longer than me and have done a lot more here than me, but I do have a suggestion. You might want to avoid any negative comments about a voter on VFH. From what I've seen so far, that doesn't seem to get support but rather the reverse. Just a suggestion. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  16:09, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

I'd also like to add that the reverse of support is man-rape. pillow talk 23:21, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

This is better than trying to talk it out with Mordillo how?

Try growing a thicker skin, rather than being a Drama queen every time you disagree with someone. Everybody is here voluntarily. We only have room for one Diva here, and that's me. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 07:13, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

You and John Stamos, of course. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 07:18, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

This is the most childish and dramatic incident I've witnessed on Uncyclopedia so far.. and from someone who I believe is over 30 years old.. Sheesh.. And what's with all those profanities? Also, how do you think dexter is gonna help you? • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 07:19, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Okay, since the conversation appears to be here (complete with a comment I removed from there and moved here)

Go there. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 07:27, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Goodbye

You worthless drama whoring self centered piece of shit. See you never. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:47, 14 Oct

How did this cock sucking faggot ever win Noob of the Month? Are we all that retarded or was he not as a big as a fag yet? -- Roman Dog Bird 18:19, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Both, buddy. Both.. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • •

These days, what it takes to win NotM is: 1) log in every day; 2) write something; 3) vote somewhere. pillow talk 18:40, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

I concur.. But I failed to even do so /me cries and cuts my wrist with a chainsaw • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 18:50, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Yep. That's how I won NotM. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:39, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

I thought he was perma-banned before for being a huge sack of festering cunt. Good he showed that he was the sackiest sack of festering cunt to ever cunt up this place. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 23:32, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

And most fags don't show off their cock sucking abilities until well into their second or third month. Plenty of time to win NotM, and shit all over it. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:55, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Please, some of my good friends are cock-sucking faggots. I'd be one if I didn't like girls so much. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:00, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Don't worry, you are the reigning NotM. You have another month or so before we force you to be a cock-sucking faggot. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:03, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Oh good. In the meantime, I'd better start practicing on Mommy's dildo. (I'll have to tell Miley I posted this). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:13, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Naughty boy! Mommy castrates naughty boys • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 20:26, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Stop scaring my son like that! I would never hurt his manhood. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:25, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

You aren't my Mommy! Shut up or I'll scream and hold my breath! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:31, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Hold it for too long and you'll maek a yuky doody. Mommy will clean it up, anyways.. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 20:37, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Ah, I read it and that mommy is so sweet! Excuse for a moment I'm feeling verclempt. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:50, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

you mean "verklempt"? • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 21:54, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Why? has to maek a doody.-Almost Sir Random Crap

No, I do not mean "verklempt"? That's some Yiddish word meaning you're feeling all emotional. "Verclempt" is a girl I just met in this bar. That's who I'm feeling. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:19, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

She Jewish? • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • •

I'm not sure. Do JAPs have to be circumsized? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:35, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Depends on the definition of circumsized. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 22:39, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

All right. Let's see if I can remember the human sexuality class I took. Female circumcision can refer to A) the removal of excess labial flesh, sometimes in order to increase the vaginal opening and/or better expose the clitoris, or B) the removal of the clitoris. I don't think it's B because she screams a lot. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:13, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

No. You haven't been off for long enough to reach the "screaming" phase. Unless you did her half-ass. Which is bad for both of you. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 23:18, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the info. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:04, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

Americans and their McDonalds sex... • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 08:14, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

Of course I don't mind, son. Mommy has a whole drawer full. Two drawers full. Really three. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:23, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

faggot

yous a faggot --Roman Dog Bird 22:09, January 4, 2010 (UTC)