User:Rataube/Jew-Jitsu

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“Saul killed thousans, David killed tens of thosands”

~ Old biblical chant on on Jew-Jitsu

An ancient martial art performed by Moses (although he wasn't a jew, but a levite) and brought to prefection by King David and his army. Its practice is a legacy that passes from fathers to sons, from generation to generation, it's considered a letal art. In a way similar to the karate belts, Jew-Jitsu shows its learning levels through phylacteries in different colours.

Origins[edit | edit source]

One day, Moses was practising Egyptian martial arts - a legacy of some "Scorpion King" - at Pharao's palace, when he was attacked with a whip by his eventual sparring mate. Moeses, who was unable to defend himself, told him: "Hit me and I fire you". That was the unfortunate sparring mate's last day at his job.

Weeks later, Moses found an Hebrew being attacked by an Egyptian. Moses attacked the Egyptian using a technic called "The Jewish People's Elbow" and killed him. To hide the evidence, Moses burried the Egyptian in his cat's sandbox. It didn't take long until the corpse was found and Moses had to run away from Egypt. He went to exile to the mountains, where he continued training with an inmortal martial arts legend known as Gandhi (did you actually think he would risk himself with "non-violence", before taking over the world?), and as someone who works out a bit, he used to defend innocent ladys at the water wells.

Some time later (about 40 years only) in some event involving a burning bush, Moses started going barefoot and using abilities which would become the envy of the ninjas. With his newly learned jutsus, Moses faced the pharao and his gods.