User talk:Markchung

Mission Accomplished!

MNU Banned This Article

This article has been deemed too graphic and/or libelious by the generous legal experts of Multi-National United. Unauthorized access to this article is strictly forbidden under Chapter 6.66, Clause 6.9 in the MNU Protocol for Peaceful Coexistence.
Violators will be subject to the fullest extent of international criminal law.
For your and your children's sake.

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Welcome!

Hello, Markchung, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 04:41, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

Hello

It looks to me like you are trying to advertise a website. Sorry, but I had to delete some of your stuff because we don't allow that. If you want to write an encyclopaedic style humours article which is a parody of wikipedia, please go ahead. Please don't continue to try to advertise this site. I can block you for that. Thanks. MrN 19:11, Aug 31

Further to MrN's message, and after seeing your talk page posts and articles: I'm not seeing much humour here, I'm seeing an extended advertisement for District 9, the film, that possibly belongs on its own District 9 wiki. Please explain to me where the satire is coming in - I'm happy to give you a chance before deleting anything, but I would like a response. Particularly explain the point of the two rather large and ugly templates, and how you intend them to be used. Respond here, and do so as soon as you can. Thanks. --UU - natter 09:36, Sep 1

First of all, I am NOT paid by any marketing firm to do this, nor am I a diehard fan of District 9. I did watch the movie, and I found it pretty decent. However, the real fodder for my articles is the ridiculous viral marketing campaign of that movie. Not only they built a fictional corporate homepage and a fictional blog, at this year's Comic-Con, they even organized a protest outside, chanting for non-human rights! If that wasn't batfuck insane for you (chances are it wasn't), even the bathrooms in the Comic-Con barred non-humans! I just want to lampoon the over-the-top viral marketing like how Stephen Colbert travesties real bloviators and how Josef Stalin parodied 1984's Big Brother. If Jimbo Wales got to make fun of Uncyclopedia by creating Wikipedia, I should at least be given a chance to make fun of District 9.

Second, if the sheer lack of articles and/or organization is making you batfuck insane, here's my ultimate plan for Project Doggystyle with the Devil:

MNU Banned: This category is for articles that your usual oppressive corporation would not want you to read.

• MWB: MWB, or Menslike Weerstandbeweging (Afrikaans for Human Resistance Movement), is a human-supremacist organization opposed to prawn rights. I made up MWB myself, so it does not show up in the movie. However, it is a parody of Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging, an actual white-supremacist movement in South Africa. The humor of the article will be that although it claims to welcome humans of all colors, subtle cues throughout the page will reveal the implicit racism of MWB as well as its explicit anti-prawnism.
• District 9 (prawn): This article is about District 9 as written by a prawn. The prawn is not very good at English, so the article will be really shitty grammar. Still, the prawn is able to expose horrible conditions in his home district. All other articles ending with (prawn) will share the same characteristics.
• District 9 (MWB): Similar to the bootleg article of District 9, but with a flair of anti-prawn hatred. You guessed it: All other other articles ending with (MWB) will offend even the BNP.
• I'll think of more articles...

MNU Approved: This category is for your everyday corporate propaganda, the exact opposite of the above.

• District 9: This is an introductory article, linking to human and non-human versions of MNU's article on District 9.
• District 9 (human): This is where MNU gets to redeem itself through sugar-coating its role in the history of the prawn reservation.
• District 9 (non-human): Same as the above, with a catch. If you notice the highlight and the summary of the non-human text images, they are very similar to their English counterpart, but instead of euphemisms and nice words like "Violators will be subject to international criminal law." and "Have a nice day!", non-human text will have commanding, more explicit content like "Violators will face the death penalty." and "Strength through unity, unity through faith.". My goal is to be subtle, like the white "nothings" in the Andrei Tarkovsky article
• Still more to come...

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask, just not literally in front of the computer screen. I just want to be understood, that's all. Mijnheer Markchung, Keiser van die Boerstaat.

When you come back...

...I can undelete the pages you started. We're tough on things like that, as 90% of the pages that are started here never get done (and that might be an actual statistic. It's possible, anyway). Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:51, September 27, 2009 (UTC)

I've just came back from a series of important events in my usually unimportant, uneventful life. But at last, the Lord has finally shown his grace by not coughing up his goddamn hairballs every four hours. Now that I'm ready to complete the project, please unhuff the articles. Mijnheer Markchung, Keiser van die Boerstaat.

MNU templates

Mark, you really need to do something about those templates, they are huge and ugly. Please re format them in a way they'll cause minimal disruptions to pages. At the moment they distort the whole page. ~ 15:41, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

About that, I edited the templates so that it only contains human text, the non-human text being posted in links. The revised templates were much slimmer, and certainly looked better on the articles. But MrN9000 and Jack Phoenix huffed the pages containing the non-human text, so I had to revert the templates back to the original chunky versions. If you can unhuff MNU Approved (non-human) and MNU Banned (non-human), I can unchunk the templates. Mijnheer Markchung, Keiser van die Boerstaat.

OK, what I'm going to do is give you the code for these - you can place them on the District 9 related articles, but don't recreate the templates, as they are only relevant for these articles. Also, as soon as you replace the templates with the code, I'm going to delete the templates and the underlying categories. Like I said, there's no need for a category for a couple of articles (especially the "XXX is approving of this article, we're trying to get rid of those). Here is code:

Non-Human Text

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and

Non-Human Text

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still too big in my opinion. Let me know when you've switched them. ~ 19:07, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, Mordillo! I took your advice, and I also slimmed down the code. But as soon as I build more District 9 spoofs, I think the number of these articles might be big enough for a category. When that happens, just give me the signal. Mijnheer Markchung, Keiser van die Boerstaat.

No problem. ~ 15:29, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

And as you're obviously South African

Do you have any good recipes for Boerworst? :) ~ 15:46, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Funny you should say that.

I'm actually an American of Korean descent, but my mom's a South African immigrant. You see, during apartheid, South Korean immigrants were given special status as honorary whites or "ere-blankes" by the white government. My mom was in fact born "white" to a Korean family in Kaapstad. But when blacks took control in 1994, the entire family was scared like hell that blacks would necklace them, so they left to America. I don't really know Boer stuff that well, but if you want, I'll give you a recipe for Galbi. Mijnheer Markchung, Keiser van die Boerstaat.

Welcome to UnNews

This is your lucky day! Usually I delete, move, or rewrite articles of this caliber, but this one is right on the cusp of being awful or readable. As such, I've left is alone for the time being. You may want to fix it up after reading my welcoming drivel below carefully for clues, or you may submit it for Pee Review. In any case, cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:48, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Markchung, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

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What happened to my article?

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If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

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UnNews UnFunnies

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At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)