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My name is Patrick Henry. I'm writing this myself. An outsider might leave out crucial events, important nuances, and valuable coupons. I can't have that.

I was born into an old Virginia family. The Henrys of Red Hill have always been tobacco-growers, rum-runners, revolutionaries, and high-handed bastards.

In 1685 my grandfather rode a piebald gelding into the British governor's sitting room, put the point of a sabre in the man's left nostril, and told him that unless he wanted a perforated brainpan he'd best quit quartering troops in the town. The governor commanded 10,000 soldiers but he buckled at the knees.

My grandfather later sent him a case of Cuban rum. The governor had it burned, and my grandfather never spoke to him again.

It was in the fertile shade of such family legends that I grew up. (more...)

Recently featured: Holocaust Tycoon - The Free World - Prog Rock - The Annual One-Day-Only Winter Holidays Earlybird 5:00 AM 99% Off Sale - UnBooks:Pulp Novel, the case of the dashing dame


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Holocaust Tycoon is a simulation computer game, released for Windows XP in 2006. It was developed by Ka-tzetnik Enterprises in Berlin, and later released throughout Europe by WN Software. In Holocaust Tycoon, the player must successfully manage a camp, without going bankrupt, whilst avoiding the attention of invading Allied Forces.

The player begins with an empty plot of land, levelled and ready for development. In the early stages of the game, the player will build his camp, adding huts, arranging for political opponents, enemy aliens, specific ethnic or religious groups to be transported in, and the construction of torture chambers. As with most games of this genre the early development is the most important stage, as the structure of the camp is crucial to its survival. Controversially, players are encouraged to cram as many people into huts, to heighten profit (refered to in-game as 'death toll').

Eventually, as the camp develops, more options become availiable. For example, the player must then negotiate contracts with various loyal companies, such as gas providers and freight rail companies. The object of this game is to build an organised and brutal camp, allowing your Commandant promotion whilst gaining the love and appreciation of his Führer. (more...)

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  • ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured)
  • ... that other people can prevent forest fires too?
  • ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
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  • ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
  • ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
  • ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
  • ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
  • ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
  • ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
  • ... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
689509 military parade 2.jpg
  • ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured)
  • ... that other people can prevent forest fires too?
  • ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
Walken click.png
  • ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
  • ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
  • ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
  • ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
  • ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
  • ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
  • ... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
689509 military parade 2.jpg
  • ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured)
  • ... that other people can prevent forest fires too?
  • ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
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Try to use it in conversation.
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"I'm starving, wanna go to Little Caesars?"

March 15: Julius Caesar's Deathday

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In a closely fought battle Braydie pushed to the front of the crowd to win this month's NOTM award. A dogged reporter for UnNews, Braydie has brought us all the latest on such varied topics as Restricted Artists, Computer Abuse as well as articles such as VFH nominated HowTo:Make a Band. Not a bad start, but can he do this? {insert random gesture}


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