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My name is Patrick Henry. I'm writing this myself. An outsider might leave out crucial events, important nuances, and valuable coupons. I can't have that.

I was born into an old Virginia family. The Henrys of Red Hill have always been tobacco-growers, rum-runners, revolutionaries, and high-handed bastards.

In 1685 my grandfather rode a piebald gelding into the British governor's sitting room, put the point of a sabre in the man's left nostril, and told him that unless he wanted a perforated brainpan he'd best quit quartering troops in the town. The governor commanded 10,000 soldiers but he buckled at the knees.

My grandfather later sent him a case of Cuban rum. The governor had it burned, and my grandfather never spoke to him again.

It was in the fertile shade of such family legends that I grew up. (more...)

Recently featured: Holocaust Tycoon - The Free World - Prog Rock - The Annual One-Day-Only Winter Holidays Earlybird 5:00 AM 99% Off Sale - UnBooks:Pulp Novel, the case of the dashing dame


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Holocaust Tycoon is a simulation computer game, released for Windows XP in 2006. It was developed by Ka-tzetnik Enterprises in Berlin, and later released throughout Europe by WN Software. In Holocaust Tycoon, the player must successfully manage a camp, without going bankrupt, whilst avoiding the attention of invading Allied Forces.

The player begins with an empty plot of land, levelled and ready for development. In the early stages of the game, the player will build his camp, adding huts, arranging for political opponents, enemy aliens, specific ethnic or religious groups to be transported in, and the construction of torture chambers. As with most games of this genre the early development is the most important stage, as the structure of the camp is crucial to its survival. Controversially, players are encouraged to cram as many people into huts, to heighten profit (refered to in-game as 'death toll').

Eventually, as the camp develops, more options become availiable. For example, the player must then negotiate contracts with various loyal companies, such as gas providers and freight rail companies. The object of this game is to build an organised and brutal camp, allowing your Commandant promotion whilst gaining the love and appreciation of his Führer. (more...)

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  • ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
  • ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
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Cafeteria.jpg
  • ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
  • ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
When-i-grow-up.jpg
Cafeteria.jpg
  • ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
  • ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
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fabulous
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.

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1977-2026

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWinter OlympicsSeattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day

Recent deaths: Scott AdamsKianna UnderwoodUncyclopediaCatherine O'HaraLamontBrad ArnoldNFL season • New England Patriots fans' insufferability, for now • Lindsay Vonn's legSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured)

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek)

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again

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Mmm crunchy.

February 15: It Just Got Out Of Hand Day

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In a closely fought battle Braydie pushed to the front of the crowd to win this month's NOTM award. A dogged reporter for UnNews, Braydie has brought us all the latest on such varied topics as Restricted Artists, Computer Abuse as well as articles such as VFH nominated HowTo:Make a Band. Not a bad start, but can he do this? {insert random gesture}


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