User:Tompkins/page

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My name is Patrick Henry. I'm writing this myself. An outsider might leave out crucial events, important nuances, and valuable coupons. I can't have that.

I was born into an old Virginia family. The Henrys of Red Hill have always been tobacco-growers, rum-runners, revolutionaries, and high-handed bastards.

In 1685 my grandfather rode a piebald gelding into the British governor's sitting room, put the point of a sabre in the man's left nostril, and told him that unless he wanted a perforated brainpan he'd best quit quartering troops in the town. The governor commanded 10,000 soldiers but he buckled at the knees.

My grandfather later sent him a case of Cuban rum. The governor had it burned, and my grandfather never spoke to him again.

It was in the fertile shade of such family legends that I grew up. (more...)

Recently featured: Holocaust Tycoon - The Free World - Prog Rock - The Annual One-Day-Only Winter Holidays Earlybird 5:00 AM 99% Off Sale - UnBooks:Pulp Novel, the case of the dashing dame


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Holocaust Tycoon is a simulation computer game, released for Windows XP in 2006. It was developed by Ka-tzetnik Enterprises in Berlin, and later released throughout Europe by WN Software. In Holocaust Tycoon, the player must successfully manage a camp, without going bankrupt, whilst avoiding the attention of invading Allied Forces.

The player begins with an empty plot of land, levelled and ready for development. In the early stages of the game, the player will build his camp, adding huts, arranging for political opponents, enemy aliens, specific ethnic or religious groups to be transported in, and the construction of torture chambers. As with most games of this genre the early development is the most important stage, as the structure of the camp is crucial to its survival. Controversially, players are encouraged to cram as many people into huts, to heighten profit (refered to in-game as 'death toll').

Eventually, as the camp develops, more options become availiable. For example, the player must then negotiate contracts with various loyal companies, such as gas providers and freight rail companies. The object of this game is to build an organised and brutal camp, allowing your Commandant promotion whilst gaining the love and appreciation of his Führer. (more...)

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*... that I am Batman?
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fabulous
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.

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"...at least panda meat doesn't give you autism!" ‑RFK Jr.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VIEurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrantsTaylor Swift's very unlucky, no good yearDOGE firings and budget cuts • Release of all the JFK and Epstein Files, purportedly • March MadnessTornadoes shredding the American South • Post-apocalyptic streaming movies starring Stranger Things actors

Recent deaths: Michelle TrachtenbergGene Hackman, wife and dog, tooSkypeKingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensionsSpace GhostTesla's stock • Bob RiversMeghan Markle's Netflix show • The Electric State • Kurt from Good BurgerGeorge Foreman23andMe

Upcoming deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedomLuigi MangioneKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEI, for better or for worsePope Francis • Meghan Markle's remaining likeability • "Snow Woke and the Seven Pronouns"Your March Madness bracket and bank accountTornado Alley • Somebody from The Rugrats Movie

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You need a veggie burger with that?

March 26: Fast Food Day (U.S.)

  • 1845 - Fast food, then called fasting from food, is invented in Ireland: millions starve due to new trend.
  • 1940 - First McDonald's restaurant opens in San Bernardino, California, life expectancy drops to levels unseen since the Civil War.
  • 1965 - Fox in Socks, the first depiction of a modern-day rap battle, is published by Dr. Seuss.
  • 1994 - After complaints from vegans, McDonald's switches from beef fat to vegetable oil for their fries, vegans celebrate, give money to company that kills millions of cows.
  • 1997 - Someone orders an iced coffee from Starbucks, destroys the economies of three South American countries.
  • 2011 - McDonald's attempts to make Happy Meals healthier, billions of apple slices rot inside their teeny plastic bags.
  • 2016 - New FCC regulations on misleading advertising forces Carl's Jr. to release new 30 second ad of a fat man crying, alone.
  • 2018 - Wendy's delivers epic clapback against dumb bitch on twitter with sesame seed allergy.

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

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§ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ wrote Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice... (entry out of space)


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In a closely fought battle Braydie pushed to the front of the crowd to win this month's NOTM award. A dogged reporter for UnNews, Braydie has brought us all the latest on such varied topics as Restricted Artists, Computer Abuse as well as articles such as VFH nominated HowTo:Make a Band. Not a bad start, but can he do this? {insert random gesture}


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