User:TheLedBalloon/Archives8

Bipedic

Of course the only editer was me, It was like 5 minutes old!

Yes, I know, that's just the auto-generated huffing response. I prolly should've used an actual description, but meh. Anyways, I huffed it because it was really, really short, in the microstub category. If you'd like to work on it a bit more, though, I'll gladly bring it back for you. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 02:34, May 21

UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

May 22th, 2008 • Issue 4 • Par 6

Oldest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Renowned Uncyclopedia historian Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, has discovered the oldest non-Uncyclopedia related article ever written. "The fact that pie was the first article really opened my eyes. It really did. I see it all now: Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia... the construction and future of these wikis have been laid out before me." When asked what he meant, Spang said that, upon reading the first version of the article Pie, the future of Uncyclopedia was revealed to him. The version presently up is "but a pale shadow of what it once was." The fabled first version of the article is, according to Spang and fellow UnArcheologist TheLedBalloon, "The DaVinci Code of Uncyclopedia." One of the oldest contributors, 68.237.62.152, is said to be the creator of the fabled text, but could not be reached for comment... maybe 'cuz he was gettin' laid or somethin' cool like that. "If only the original version had survived!" Said Spang's lead balloon, who gained sentience upon glimpsing the article. "I want to know the significance of the Norris! The secret meaning behind the Wilde! The hidden power of the grue! I want to know the secret of the memes!" "First of all, how did a balloon become an administrator? Oh, right, this is Uncyclopedia." Said long-missing founder Chronarion. "Second of all, the current article you have up there is, although not as mystical, still sorta mystical... For example, look at that quote at the top! CLASSIC Oscar Wilde!" Questions arose as to why the original version was deleted in the first place, but Chronarion, who only made an appearance in one of our writer's drug trips, merely cackled, turned into a tomato, and vanished in a cloud of LULZ!!1. The mystery surrounding Pie continues, and Uncyclopedian historians are still seeking the truth. ...BUY A SUBSCRIPTION TO UNSIGNPOST to see further developments! Following Third Issue, UnSignpost Wins All Sortsa Awards n' Shit At the annual Uncyclopedia Signpost awards banquet, held every year in Dr. Skullthumper's backyard, the Signpost was the clear winner of the night, garnishing all 149 awards in all 144 categories. The press was not invited to the gala, but the Unsignpost has heard that several Uncyclopedia celebrities were at the event. Mike - you know Mike - said, "Oh yeah, we got Chronarion and Save the... whatever it was... We got 'em all! We even had Famine! Even though he still hates us, he still bothered to show up and drunkenly berate the guests! In fact, I think he's still in there, berating the furniture!" Unsignpost writers all agree that it's not pathetic to give yourself an award once in a while. We do our chores! We've been kicked around! Why don't we, the writers, get any recognition? The special boobie-prize, The Feel Okay About Ourselves Award for 2008, was accepted by Cajek on behalf of the writers instead of a paycheck. "Finally I get a god damned award." One of the writers dramatically grabbed the award away onstage and, crying, started screaming at the award itself. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!? YOU BASTARD!!" Unsignpost is planning to make the awards banquet biweekly, in honor of the fact that the writers are extremely lonely, and just want a way to talk to loads of people without having to listen to "feedback". Newest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Although searching through relics was fun for the Indiana-Jonesish stylings of more techie-minded Uncyclopedians, the Unsignpost has, all by itself!!, made a new discovery. Yes, the newest article, Jacob Zuma, created just at the time of this writing, is the newest article to date. No! Wait! It's RETARDIS. Wait, no, it's Broomstick. Oh whatever, the point is that we found it, and when it's deleted in three seconds, Unsignpost gets first gloating rights.

Check out these pages! Spang is Gay! The Monkey Spankers Complete Collection In Another Wiki, Far Far Away From our logs: 07:04, May 16, 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 134.225.176.229 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Uh oh! Don't mess with Grant Whitaker Island! Or whatever it is you said! ) 19:28, March 18, 2007 Famine (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Come back when you have more tools in your bag) 12:37, May 17, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (NO U. Also, LOL coming back to blank after a one year ban) Biopic of the Week Example ~ The standard Uncyclopedia user, Example has never read HTBFANJS, has created hundreds of stupid forum topics that make no sense, and has bothered dozens of admins without being annoying enough to be banned. Although he/she/it has no opinions or original ideas, he/she/it has still managed to produce dozens of deleteable articles. Truly, Example is an example for us all... get it? GET IT?! Rorschach Inkblot Response of the Week: "HOW DARE YOU SHOW THAT TO ME!!" (slaps psychologist) "You're just like my two mothers: every Easter they do that to me... WHY???" Reason for Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week: 8. Not enough users leaving. Horrifying Disease of the Week: The Genital Migration Virus ~ Normally found only in the most remote regions of the Congo, GMV has now "migrated" to the general populous. It can be transferred only by physical or emotional contact. There is, as of yet, no "known" cure for GMV, because Unsignpost's writers are keeping the vaccine secret until the government... well, we've said too much. Retraction of the Week: We at Unsignpost are sorry. In our last issue we stated that "slavery was kewl" and that "the Yankees will never take it away from us." Apparently, we were wr- wro... wwwrrrrr- I can't say it!! Letter of the Week: This week's UnSignpost was brought to you by the letter "U". Because without it, we wouldn't be able to spell "UnSignpost", let alone the sexiest of all U words, "undulate". Reason for staying at Uncyclopedia of the Week: 73. Can't find the door, no thanks to {{welcome}}.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:19, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for your welcome, question for you

I was wondering If I can "modify" and article a little bit to make it less offensive, I am talking about the article unamerica. This article really pisses me off, as I do not see articles about canada or england or iran totally belittling the people of the country. That article is very unaccurate (no pun intended) and very offensive. If there is any way to vote to have the article deleted or any way I can modify could you please let me know? Thanks! And I also think that is in violation of one of the rules here, "Be funny, and not a dick"!!!

Again, thanks for your welcome

Regards,

Jdock12 04:14, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

Well, first off, you have to understand that we will not delete a page because it offends you. Never ever ever. Unless it contains shock images, the only reason a page will be deleted is because it's soul-crushingly unfunny. If you think this article is really bad, you have 2 options. Either leave a note on its talk page and start a rewrite in your userspace(By that, I mean make the page at User:Jdock12/Rewrite, work on it there until it's funny, and then copy-paste it over the page that's there now. Don't just blank the existing page and replace it with {{Construction}}), or submit the page to VFD. If you choose the latter, make sure you've familiarized yourself with the rules of the page. Good luck, - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 10:51, May 23

Hey its the Lethargic Reactor with one more question:

What do you think of my second full fledged article? It got around a 34 in the pee review, but i wanna see your opinion on my never version. Not a full fledged pee review, just i need to know where i need to work.

~ NEZLR 05:03, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

and i kinda realized, i think im getting closer to the independent stage. pretty soon, i might remove the adoptee template. I still got some questions though, so im still stuck on the hindenburg.

~ NEZLR 05:24, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I'll have a look at the page when I get home tonight. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 10:53, May 23

Alright, here's the deal. It has some funniness, but your issue is that your tone, the narrator's voice, is inconsistent. You have short sentences, long sentences, cursing, censorship, struck out words, ALLCAPS, asterickses, and parenthetical side-comments, all in the page in a way where they almost feel like you just wanted those things in the page and so threw them in, or that you couldn't think of any prose and so used that stuff. Now, this probably isn't the case, but this is just how it reads in a few places. To fix this, strive for consistency of tone. Give it a day or two, and reread what you've written with a critical eye. Make sure you have the narrator's voice that you want in mind, and then make the page reflect that narrator's voice.

One part specifically that I didn't like was this one right here: "Jerry Falwell believed it's caused when God is mad at the Canadians. This statement is not true full of shit (Isn't everything he says?), as God likes Syrup on his waffles." Now, there are a few things you can do with this. First off, you struck out that "not true" for no reason. Either just say "not true" or just say "full of shit"--no need to use extra characters to mean the same thing. The parenthetical bit, too, I dislike. Why even add that part? We all know Falwell's crazy, and when you add in stuff like that it just feels like you're venting your opinion about this random guy on an article which he would otherwise have no part in. Besides, parentheses are weird to read. What I do like, however, is that last part, the maple syrup reference. If anything, that part should be made more prominent, and a touch clearer. Maybe reword it to say something more along the lines of "Jerry Falwell has erroneously stated that avalanches are caused by God's anger at the Canadians. Obviously, this is false, as no one can stay angry at a Canadian, and God needs their maple syrup for his waffles." ...Or something, I dunno. Keep in mind, of course, that this is naught but my own skewed opinion, and others are just a link away. Cheers! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 04:21, May 24

I had it peed before, but it was like half finished. i wanted to see where to go from there. ill take some of your suggestions.~ NEZLR 01:03, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

men in green and conversations with cats

I don't know if this is funny or not, Mr. Led, but it is one of the weirdest IRC conversations I've ever had: User:Cajek/WookiepediaIRC   Le Cejak • <16:29, 23 May 2008>

Heh. It is funny, but did you really expect them to do any different? I mean, if they had senses of humor it would be a comedy wiki, no? I'd just leave 'em be. Other wise, uncyc might get a 'rep.' Kinda like the 'rep' we we have everywhere else, actually. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 20:24, May 23

I was actually trying to see how confused I could get them. Obviously, they aren't the most subtle/clever people in Wikialand.   Le Cejak • <20:39, 23 May 2008>

No, but then, what'd you expect? Non-humor wikis are almost always boring. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 20:42, May 23

Told you Led would spank your bottom Cajek! Send him to bed with no supper too Led! I'll have his... HeHe. MrN 20:45, May 23

Actually, I'm saving the bondage for a little later. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 20:46, May 23

I'm off for some cross wiki editing myself in the not too distant future. Apparently there is this other wiki called "Wikipedia". I'm told it's become quite popular so I thought I might go and check it out. Check you talk page recently Led? MrN 20:50, May 23

Familiar? Why, I have a userspace article I can whore to you right now that'll show you just how familiar I am! Behold, my story. I'll call it my struggle, I think. And translate it into the language of my forefathers, too! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:00, May 23

hi im retarted

uhh hi me again uhh how do you insert you tube vids Crazyfulla 22:19, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

Like this: <youtube>df8SbBhMHS4</youtube>. That'll get you this:

Those random numbers/letter are the part of the vid URL after the "v=". - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:22, May 18

HEY THANKS Crazyfulla 22:26, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

No problem. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:32, May 18

hey ive noticed that you have pics and stuff in your signiture how you do it Crazyfulla 00:10, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

I do that by making a signature. There's a pretty good manual for that right here. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 04:28, May 24

Led's Welcome Template

Hey Led, would you mind whoring Unsignpost in your welcome template, or would that be bad?   Le Cejak • <4:54, 24 May 2008>

Sure, I'll stick something in there about it. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 06:19, May 24

da-da-da-DAAAAA DUUUUHHH da-da-da DAAAAA DUUUHHHH

Led! You know star wars and stuff! I'm having trouble getting my articles reviewed (for the first time I can remember). Do you have time to look at Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Star Wars (Japanese Opera)? I would be much obliged!   Le Cejak • <4:13, 25 May 2008>

Hmmm... lemme see what I can get to. It'll depend on how late I decide to stay up 'til tonight, really. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 04:15, May 25

Whatever works, ol' pal. It's just been so long since you've looked at my work. Has it been since Normal?   Le Cejak • <4:17, 25 May 2008>

I'm not sure, really. It's been a while since I've done any reviews at all, what with laziness n' all. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 04:19, May 25

Aw, go to sleep, Led, and dream of people in weird costumes acting out a poorly translated version of Star Wars.   Le Cejak • <4:22, 25 May 2008>

Nah, it's a three-day weekend. Also, Dutch Oven. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 04:23, May 25

Nice cooking show you have there, Led... or should I call ya Cee Dubs? Aaaaanyway, do you still wanna review my thingy, or should I look for someone less busy?   Le Cejak • <4:36, 25 May 2008>

Nah, I'll do it. Just gimme a sec... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 04:39, May 25

Thank you so much for reviewing it, Led! I got a good start on act 3, and I hope it lives up to that 10 you gave me for act 2! ...wow! Anyway, yeah, I'm gonna write some more tomorrow. See you again, Led, thanks!   Le Cejak • <6:32, 25 May 2008>

No problem, and good luck! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 06:47, May 25

Interruption of your sysop dutes! For here I am, presenting Star Wars (Japanese Opera)‎ to you in completeness!   Le Cejak • <17:18, 25 May 2008>

Ha! I like it! Also, daintily = best adverb ever. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 17:24, May 25

Oh, Led, Jack Phoenix huffed User:Cajek/WookiepediaIRC. Do you think he should have? If you think it was legitimately huffed, I'll back down.   Le Cejak • <22:36, 25 May 2008>

It may be for the best, honestly. We don't need a reputation for dickery, ya'know? It's prolly best to just stay at Uncyc and save our energy for satire. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:50, May 25

Hey! I wasn't being a d... I guess I was! Oh well, I got two articles out of it!   Le Cejak • <22:51, 25 May 2008>

Nah, I know it was all in good fun. Trouble is, other wikis aren't allowed to have fun. Still, though, we have to respect their wishes to have less fun, even if it doesn't make sense to us. We need to join hands, and sing our glorious hymn of... Hmmn. Lost my train of thought. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:55, May 25

It's weird: they reverted my pathetically tiny edits and then got all serious. It really did seem like an overreaction on their part.   Le Cejak • <23:30, 25 May 2008>

Chocolate Cake Church

Has enough been done for you to remove the "Whoops, we'll trash this in 7 days or so, unless you do a load of stuff to save it? No reply needed here, just please remove the banner if so. Reply with pleasure if you see more needs doing!

BTW I was pretty sure Uncyc has the WP template {{cite web}}, but it seems not quite the same? 91.85.187.28 17:10, 26 May 2008 (UTC)

What you have is good, but I'd like to see you expand it a bit more. I'll remove the ICU tag, so you don't have to worry about insta-huffage, but it'd be nice to have a little more to read. As for the cite web bit, I'm not really sure how that works, to be honest. Maybe just use external link formatting (you know, like [http://www.whatever.ho-hum link title]) to do what you need it to? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 17:21, May 26

There's more coming. I'm just away for a few days. Tks for the removal. 91.85.187.28 18:07, 26 May 2008 (UTC)

No problem. Happy editing! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 18:14, May 26

We got creation protection now?!

Damn are we hot or what?1 ~ 00:05, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

Yep. DPP is pretty much obsolete now, and I rather like the whole time limit feature. Deters vandals for a while, then people can make the page again. You can semi-protect, too. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 00:22, May 27

Redirection

how do i redirect XXXXXX to YYYYYYY? im making an article, and i want to know how to redirect something to it.

Allow me to be a bastard and leave a drive by comment to answer your question. Use the following incantation: #REDIRECT [[Actual article name here]] Make sure that it's the only thing on the redirect page. I'm off to go await an irate Leddy who will most likely bludgeon me with a golf club for this transgression. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 23:10 May 27

HEY YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING EDITING THIS PAGE DON'T YOU SEE IT'S MINE WHY I OUGHTA... Thanks for the assist, SysRq. And yeah, he's got it just right, Mr. IP. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 00:33, May 28

I'm writing an article on an intracranial (brain) hemorrhage. I wanted to redirect brain hemorrage so i have an easier way to get there without typi ng the whole user:nezlr/brain hemorrhage thing.

~ NEZLR 1:29 PM PST

Well, what I do with subpages is put a link to them all on my userpage, so that I can just click that link at the top, and then get to the page with just one more click. Just something to think about. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 20:38, May 28

I have a folder of Bookmarks in Firefox that links to my Watchlist, my userpage, and my werks page. Something else to think about. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 20:47 May 28

hi

Weebl emplores you to answer him! He will never stop rocking back and forth otherwise

Ascewsme. the Most uninformative article ever, is a joke page created for comedic purposes. Have you seen the Paranoid Page? It was supposed to be like that, can you give me a good reason for its deletion, because I thought it was kinda funny, dontcha know.--McWooty 21:07, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Oh yeah I've got an iMac, HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET YOUTUBE VIDEOS ONTO PAGES??!!?! ya know just asking n such....--McWooty 21:14, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Basically I feel, and I think others would agree with me here, that short pages like that have been done pretty much to death around here. Why not take that concept and expand it? One or two lines are enough for one joke, if you're good. A much longer article, one that stays funny throughout, would provide way more space to set up and expand on joke after joke after joke. For me, this would be far more enjoyable to read.

As for youtube videos, you do it like this: <youtube>qRuNxHqwazs</youtube>, where that seemingly random string of letters is the bit from the video URL after the "v=". Cheers! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:17, May 28

Weebl is now appeased. You can make him even more appeased by bringing pie

Okeedokey--McWooty 21:20, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Better sign it.

May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5

Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior." Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Furwiki, the most disturbing wiki. Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters! ...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!! Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form. "Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper. According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom. As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press. Serious: Dr. Skullthumper is a good friend, and I see him as an outgoing, clever guy, and I'm sure he will succeed in whatever he chooses to do while he's gone. -Cajek Letters to the Editor I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. My family and I are true Christian's and worship's God truthfully. I got your contact through Internet during my research on some one who could help us. I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind. He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over. If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest. Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent Dear Princess, We at the Unsignpost are interested in your offer, but have no money. Could you please send us some? You could be in on an offer to make up to $27,237,84661 monies! Your Sincerestly, The Unsignpost.

Check out these pages! A Horrible Vision of the Future A Horrible Vision of a Puppet-Based Future Chinese Oscar Wilde and the Crappy Translation Somewhat Controversial Uncyclopedia:Wikipedia From our logs: 15:46, May 24, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Lil selina (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hahahaha, it's funny 'cause now there's no content on those pages!!!!) 23:58, May 25, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HA) 08:38, May 27, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.36.41.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (love men FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F) Biopic of the Week <insert name here> ~ Yes, we at UnSignpost have decided to do a biopic on YOU. YOU came to Uncyclopedia two weeks ago with little more than a dream and 45 bucks (or 30 pounds, if you're not American). YOU are what makes Uncyclopedia The Place To Be according to Home and Garden magazine. Without YOU, we wouldn't have that amazing article on stoats you wrote in 15 minutes. God bless you, {{USERNAME}}! UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: Bishy Barnabee. One for the coccinellidae fans amongst you - it's the loveable Ladybug! While the rest of the UK distances themselves from America by calling it a Ladybird, in Norfolk, they distance themselves from reality with this rather quaint expression. Slip it into conversation and impress your friends with your new-found linguistic diversity! (Why is it called that? Fuck knows, they're mad in Norfolk, quite, quite mad!) Unsignpost Founder of the Week: ...Uh, that one guy... you remember, right? He had a "doctor" theme going on? He left for a while recently? Well, anyway, he's busy with college stuff for now, and won't be back for a month or so. As soon as we find out his name, we'll get back to you. Animal of the Week: Stoat ~ Mentioned 12 times in this issue of Unsignpost, and at least one time in the Biopic of the fifth edition of the Unsignpost, the stoat was one of the largest carnivorous dinosaurs on Earth. Weighing in at 5 grams, the stoat has made its impression on human evolution, not only by eating humans but in other, far more disturbing ways. Template of the Week: The bad lyric generator ~ I'm proud to be an outlaw, proud to be a rock 'n' roller, just don't wanna get judged on the colour of my skin, or the beer that I'm drinking! - Love/Hate Last Minute Box of the Week: First of all, let me just say that we at the Unsignpost didn't plan this box very well. Oh sure, it has nice wikicodes on it that make it colorful, but really it's just smoke and mirrors. Not to discredit our tireless staff! They work round the clock to ensure... oh who am I kidding! They're such fucking MOOCHERS. GET OFF MY COUCH, YOU RETARDS! And now for a week box more to YOUR liking: Pole Dancer of the Week: Sparkle ~ Working as a pole dancer five nights a week at The Wink and Tickle down the street, Unsignpost's senior medical correspondent enjoys suing because of a "hostile work environment" and "tickling". Soon to be promoted to senior editor, this little number is distracting EVERYONE in the newsroom!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 03:01, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Of course not.

I know you don't eat people, because you don't eat people. Grues do. Zarinul 02:43, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Well... have you ever had soylent green? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 02:44, Jun 1

For the attention of his Leddyness

Remington Steelers Public Broadcasting Service Pirates of Encino All created by [1]. I have been chasing this guy around for a while now, and he keeps removing the dam ICUs. The articles are almost the same. Most of his other edits are really pants also. Not sure what you think the best thing to do is... MrN 03:00, Jun 1

Hmm... maybe have a chat with him on his talk page? I don't wanna commit to banning this person just yet, as they might just be trying to get some band's discography complete. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 03:17, Jun 1

Oh, I defiantly was not suggesting a ban... Will have a word at some point... MrN 03:27, Jun 1

Are you insinuating that I should differentiate each article I create from each other? --Ryanasaurus0077 22:32, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

I'm not insinuating anything, actually. I want you two to have a chat and work this out amongst yourselves, like civilized people. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:38, Jun 1

I could never get the hang of differentiation, let alone integration. I would however calculus that having exactly the same text appearing in several different articles is a bad thing. Would you not agree Ryanasaurus0077? MrN 22:40, Jun 1

Can I just randomly interrupt y'all's little conversation to tell y'all to take it here or here? --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:44, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Why, certainly. But first, I'll tell Mr. N and His Leddyness that I'll start my next Remington Steelers-related article a different way, although I'll still include some nods to previous Remington Steelers-related albums. --Ryanasaurus0077 22:50, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Um, thanks Dexter, but actually I'm not sure exactly what advice to give to Ryanasaurus0077 here. Which is why I asked Led for guidance. When someone removes an ICU without making a significant improvement to an article it's a tricky one. I still think the ICUs are required here, and wondered if Led agreed with me. MrN 23:01, Jun 1

Voatse.cx

Uh, I know we aren't talking to each other right now, but you need to see this redirect. I promise that the amount of shock porn is less than average.   Le Cejak • <6:20, 01 Jun 2008>

Hahaha, that's awesome! Now, to get everyone whoring it... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 06:35, Jun 1

Hey I was half responsible for that :/ --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:36, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Did you create the redirect? DIDJA?   Le Cejak • <6:55, 01 Jun 2008>

Oh yeah! --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:56, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Hey you. Lazy admin.

Not to be a burden, but by my watch it is now June. And the Foolitzer Prize nominations from April are still up. I'd archive it myself, but alas, the archive page is teh locked. Do something about it. And while you're at it, do this one too. Kthxbai. -RAHB 21:35, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

I think it's about all set... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:02, Jun 1

Thanks you sir. -RAHB 23:18, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Hey...

...long time no talk and more to the point: I've been nominated for 3 times as many awards as you, so HA! He he... /me runs off before you can reach your ban spanner - yes that's my new name for it - [19:06 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

D: <-- Sad face. Seriously though, good luck! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:12, Jun 2

Thank you, gangster person! - [19:14 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Hey...

Do you get paid for being an admin? MrN 19:09, Jun 2

GOSH DARNIT WHY DOES EVERYONE ASK THAT IT'S NOT TRUE I GET NO MONEY AT ALL NOPE THAT'S RIGHT NONE SO STOP ASKING ALL YOU COUNTLESS THOUSANDS THAT ASK YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE IT'S JUST NOT TRUE. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:14, Jun 2

MrN9000 Makes a significant drive by comment contributing to this important discussion

I think he gets laid paid... - [19:16 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yea, but you get all the girls though right? Tell me you get the girls? Someone must be getting the girls surely. Oh, hang on... this is Uncyc. We have no girls. MrN 19:18, Jun 2

Oh, of course. I just tell them I moderate an online humor wiki and their pants come flying off! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:20, Jun 2

They fly off? That must be pretty awesome. - [19:21 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yup. Fly. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:23, Jun 2

As in fly? - [19:25 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yep. Interpret it as literally as you please, it's all good. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:27, Jun 2

All of it? - [19:28 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Mmmmaaaayyyybe. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:29, Jun 2

Maybe? Is this getting annoying, yet? - [19:30 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Maybe not! Wiggity WHAA--!? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:33, Jun 2

Wiggity WHAA--?! Maybe yes! - [19:36 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

EPIC FAIL! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:37, Jun 2

EPIC FAIL WITH EPIC MUSIC! EPIC FAIL...rectified. - [19:39 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Psh, there's no fun in that! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:40, Jun 2

There's plenty of fun in it! Even more fun in that. Now you EPIC FAIL'd! - [19:44 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

/me puts his finger near YTTE's face. I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU! I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU! I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:48, Jun 2

Ahh....this time he is going to ban me! Ahh! Ahhhhhhhh! Please don't ban me...ahh! I should stop pissing with his sig....Ahhhhhhh! /me runs headfirst into a wall - [19:55 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

/me runs off like a mischievous child, knocking over hatstands and assorted furniture, on purpose, on the way - [20:01 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yeah I know right. Also, Join IRC right now LED, I need to warn you about something... - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:59, Jun 3

Sad Face :(

I wanna make a feature worthy article, but all mine are barely funny enough to be left on this article.first, i lack the ideas, second, i lack the ability to make an article funny through out, third they are never long enough.

sad face :( ~ NEZLR 05:10, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

mind if I but in, Nezlr? I suggest writing down ideas, first of all. Second, patience young padawan, you'll think of something.   Le Cejak • <5:16, 03 Jun 2008>

im not very good at that. most of my writing humor is winged. so i'll try, but i might have a crappy idea. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Nezlr (talk • contribs)

Experiment in your userspace, Nezlr. User:Nezlr/Sandbox   Le Cejak • <5:44, 03 Jun 2008>

Yeah, don't worry about it. Sooner or later it just clicks. You find a style that just works, and you'll write good pages. The things that helped me learn to write were trial and error, reading HTBFANJS, and reading and voting for pages on VFH. Gradually you just get a feel for what works as written comedy. Hope this helps. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 10:47, Jun 3

Well, i got the idea for an article, finally. I plan to write one on capsaicin, which i believe is the spiciest substance known to man. lotsa fun i'm gonna have working on this one :P

See you guys on the VFH page!

~ NEZLR 05:11, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Becoming An Admin

How do you become an admin on this site then? Because the page for admins wasnt exactly very helpful. Many thanks Steward2007 11:08, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Drive by: Generally, you spend a lot of time on the site, help people out, write good articles (possibly slightly more optional), revert vandalism, tidy up pages, and make yourself useful. Then after ages of doing this, someone might notice you. Then the admins vote every so often to see if we need new admins. And if they agree more admins are needed, everybody votes about who these should be. And if you're lucky, you get nominated. So yeah - it's a really easy and quick process. Also, not asking if you can be an admin tends to help. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:16, Jun 3

Yes, the first rule of being an admin is not wanting to be an admin. ~ 11:31, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

I thought it was wanting to but not mentioning it. For instance, I actually don't want to be an admin. I prefer to have people like Mordillo to thank/blame. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:34, Jun 3

Yeah, listen to what those guys said. They seem to know what they're talking about... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 14:55, Jun 3

That's a dangerous assumption. On what do you base it? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:59, Jun 3

The same things I base all my assumptions on. Absolutely nothing. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 14:59, Jun 3

And That's why you make such a great admin. ~ 15:01, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Becoming A Bureaucrat

Hey, how do I achieve ultimate power on uncyclopedia? I wrote an article a while back, and I reverted vandalism once, so can I be a bureaucrat now and delete you fuckers? --Writer1337 15:04, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Well first you must turn to face the the path of enlightenment, remove the layered robes of lameness and stupidity and close your eyes from the memes and vandalism that surrounds you... and now you are pregnant! That's what you wanted right? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 15:11, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

I wanted sex, not a child! USE PROTECTION!! ...wait a minute... --Writer1337 15:15, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Also, you both just got herpes from my talkpage. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 15:21, Jun 3

Becoming a WikiGod

Hi, I have absolutely no reputation on this wiki at all, and you don't know me, and I haven't written anything of value, nor have I contributed to this wiki in any way, but I was wondering if you could just, ya know, give me control of this entire wiki. I have no interest in actually contributing, I just like having sysop powers just for the hell of it. Odds are you'll never hear from me again; I'll just go back to my own wiki which has no direction, purpose, or population, which I made only to be a 'crat on some wiki after Wikipedia told me I couldn't be a 'crat over there. Who do I talk to about whether or not this is the kind of wiki that lets random users have sysop powers? --NotA Writer2007 16:11, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

They let Leddy, here, have some sort of control so they'll give you some powers, I'm sure. Leddy's just a random guy off the streets... - [16:13 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Becoming Famine

Hi, I'm a lowlife admin who pathetically asks people to "behave" and "please don't" etc etc. I'd like to become the worst power known to mankind, which is Famine, can you talk to someone who knows someone that knows someone? notA nadmin 2008

I know someone. But that someone is not Famine. So I dunno. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:31 Jun 3

Becoming a Normal User

I'm currently a sysop and would like to get rid of all my privileges. How do you become a normal user on this site then? Because that page on Kitten huffing wasnt exactly very helpful. Many thanks Sysop

First rule of being a normal user: you have to want to be a sysop to be a normal user. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:32 Jun 3

Late thanks!

Thanks, son! But Uncle Sam didn't thank me! All you bastards can GO TO HELL!! Eh, got any change, son? I sure hope no one writes an incredibly offensive article about me. Wait, where ya goin, son? Thanks for voting for Veteran.

~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:42 Jun 3

Hi Led! Have Questions, will travel

I have tried to thicken up my article of Baznoc, but I am stumped as to how I came up with(I think), more topics and I haven't a clue if I should give them their Own pages and thicken that up or, just keep them on the same page. I also just came back from Vegas and had a Great time, but lost my ass!

P.S. Lot's of RED linked articles in the '1700's history'. What do you do to them? I would love to edit them, but respect the authors work. Any suggestions?

Need Help...*gasp*, unable to think..., world spinning.... --baznoc 21:46, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Really, it'll depend on how related your other topics are. If your new ideas for pages are things like "history of X," definitely leave them on the same page. However, there is certainly a lot of gray area, and the simplest answer is this: It's you're call. You really just have to use your own judgment. If you think the other concepts will stand on their own and make sense without the context of your current page to back them up, feel free to make as many new pages as you like. Basically, just make sure your new pages are stand-alone good. As for red links, go right ahead and remove the brackets around any word that isn't a page. If you're feeling industrious you can make it link to a related page. For example, there's no page industrious, but if I do this: [[Industrial revolution|industrious]], I get this: industrious. Don't worry too much about changing stuff in people's articles. Some folks can get touchy, but most are grateful for any small changes that improve a page. Cheers! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:46, Jun 3

Cajek needs Help

Cajek is banned and needs your help on #uncyclopedia. Paley

not anymore. Thanks Paley!   Le Cejak • <4:51, 04 Jun 2008>

Also, I was looking at Uncyclopedia:AAN/Adopters, and apparently I can't be an adopter because I was banned in the last 6 minutes months? Or is that just the policy to add my name to the fancy-dancy list?   Le Cejak • <4:55, 04 Jun 2008>

Yeah, it's not really strictly enforced. I wouldn't worry too much about it. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 10:42, Jun 4

Y'know, you don't see many VFH thanks templates about these days, do you?

Don't care. I still use 'em. Here's one now:

*pop* Yeah, er, thanks for *pop* your vote for *pop* that... oh lord, her whole dress is made of... *popop* *pop*

Cheers Led! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:10, Jun 4

And the cheeriest to you, as well! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 18:47, Jun 4

We're Under Attack!

I heard a rumour that you're online so...ED is attacking us! My page and Qua's are getting tonnes of ED IP vandalism. Sannse's semi-protected my talk page, but can you semi-protect Qua's - it's getting a lot of ED violence directed at it. For some reason ED hates Qua and therefore me, cause I adopted him... Also my computer refuses to load any Qua edit pages so I can't revert... :-( Anyway, thanks in advance - [20:41 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

There, I think I got him. Lemme know here or on UN:BP if more shit goes down. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 20:45, Jun 4

Of course, thanks. And you narrowly beat Lj to it, apparently, which means you get the Page Protector of the Month award. Congratulations to you! :-) Thanks, again! - [20:47 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6

Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff] Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek by ThePaleOne It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided. Random Mumblings: "Monster" By Zombiebaron Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.

Check out these pages! Unprovise: Content free content anybody can edit on the content free website anybody can edit, now with extra do-whatever-the-hell-you-want. Voatse.cx User:Under user/SparkGallery The Uncyclopedia Genome Project From our logs: 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) 01:36, June 1, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.156.118.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're still at the stage where you afflict pain on the girl you secretly like, aren't you?) 06:03, May 31, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.8 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!) 18:16, May 31, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Zombiebaron!) 19:25, May 31, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Dr. Skullthumper!) 19:47, May 31, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 9000 seconds ‎ (Don't do that to TKF!) May "Of the Month" Award Winners Dr. Skullthumper ~ WotM ~ Oh! Gee! Right when he wins Writer of the fucking Month (WotfM), he abandons us! Well, *sniff*, good riddens! GO THUMP SOMEONE ELSE'S SKULL, THEN! *sniff* SEE IF I CARE! Cheapinitreal ~ NotM ~ Someone who indulges in Kitty Porn was BOUND to win best new contributor. We at Unsignpost are especially proud of this little noob, someone who will follow recent up-and-comers such as NoTimeToRevert and Beatboxing Jim. Heerenveen ~ UotM ~ Every nerd deserves his/her day in the sun. That day, and that sun, belong to "Hv". You will see him scampering around, voting, deleting, and peeing. Say hi to him once in a while, dammit! Sawblade5 ~ Ugotm ~ Sawblade5 is best described as a person obsessed with Gobshite of the month. Ever since this writer can remember, Sawblade5 (but not his younger brothers, Sawblade3 or 2) has been nominating users for banning or gobshiting. Finally, the gobshite queen has been crowned! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Spanish Nobody Cares and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "ivver sin a cuddy lowp a yat?" ~ Now we're moving into the realms of supremely useful English. The delightful Cumbrians use this regularly to ask each other "ever seen a donkey jump a gate?" I think you'll agree, there is hardly a conversation that goes by where this expression wouldn't come in handy! MrN9000's VFD vote/nomination of the week: Wet socks ~ Kerkill: Two year-old sockcruft. --Dexter111344

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:20, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Um?

09:42, 5 June 2008, Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) (expires 09:42, 5 July 2008, account creation blocked) (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.)) Uh oh...--Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:40, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

What the fuck is this? Why is everyone getting pissed at Cajek now? What is this about? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:57 Jun 5

Thought it might've happened. Please, guys, you can't just go around trolling other wikis, ya know? Just let 'em be. Cajek, if you see this: You'll have to talk to Sannse about this. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 15:05, Jun 5

Yeah, what happened yesterday with me and Cajek was kinda lame and childish and very ED like. I guess I'll take this opportunity to apologize for the both of us. But, and I know I'm tempting fate here, if this was about yesterday's incident with #halopedia, why wasn't I reprimanded/warned/yelled at? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:49 Jun 5

I appreciate the gesture, but you really don't need to apologize to me, ya know. Sannse, and the ops at wookieepedia, might want one, but that's your call. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:40, Jun 5

Yeah it was rather ED-ish on my part (I did bugger round there when we had that forum and subsequent page) :/ I don't know why Cajek went back though --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 11:18, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Front page

Yay, I spotted an admin! Mr admin type, would you be planning to sort out a feature for today at some point? I'm sure Sys will be happy his page has been on the front for 2 days now, but, y'know... Ta and so forth. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:09, Jun 6

Sure, I'll get on that... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:19, Jun 6

Wups, looks like someone else got it. Sorry UU, I was in school, and then went to a mate's for a round of poker. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:28, Jun 6

Thanks for deleting those subpages

Fou-Lu 19:17, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

No problem, just doing my thing. :) - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:18, Jun 8

Quote Formatting

Yea I changed the quote back cuz some guy from school screwed with it. He said something like im a transvestite. So I changed it back. Is there any way I can get him like banned or have the article locked so he doesnt do it again? Anyway some tips on quote formatting would be helpful, I would appreciate it. (RedIvan3 21:23, 8 June 2008 (UTC))

You mean this guy? Yeah, I already gave him a day off to read our vanity policies. If he does it again, either drop me a message here or post him in ban patrol. As for quotes, they go like this: {{Q|This is where you put your made-up quote|This is where you falsely attribute that quote to someone|this is where you tell what the quote you've fabricated is about}}.

In other words, this: {{Q|I have nothing to declare but my own genus.|Oscar Wilde|taxonomy}} looks like this:

“I have nothing to declare but my own genus.”

~ Oscar Wilde on taxonomy

Cheers, - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 00:14, Jun 9

Thanks man I really appreciate it. New quote is on the way :). (RedIvan3 01:28, 9 June 2008 (UTC))

No problem. Just be careful not to overuse quotes; one or two funny ones are more than enough. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 01:38, Jun 9

hi

w-hat y-ou s-aid was rite. But one should not have that strict terms in wikipedia.If u rite jokes and make fun wikipedia admins should not interfere.it only makes the topic more user friendly. your fri-END Tiger of InDIA --Raunak Roy ( Representative of God ) 19:02, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Ok... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:17, Jun 9

Who is this guy? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 20:45 Jun 9

/me shrugs. Some fella' from the forums. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 20:46, Jun 9

Re: Welcome

Replied on my talk page as per your message above. But, seeing as I'm already here, I might as well ask: where're the welcome templates? 21655 17:32, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Right here, I think... yep, right there. It's a bit different then my ultra-customized(by which I mean stolen from User:HerrDoktor) one, though. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:28, Jun 10

AIM

Come online right now. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:37, Jun 11

You're an admin. I'm sure you can help

I want Rafael Nadal to have a black background and need to do something with mediawiki reskinning. I've made this and I think it needs to be added to MediaWiki:Skin/Rafael_Nadal.css or something. I have no idea what I'm doing. All I've done so far is copy the css code for emopedia and change the logo. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  14:17, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Err, in all honesty I really don't know much about the mediawiki things... Spang is the person to ask about such fancifulnesses. Or so I've heard. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:03, Jun 11

Adopt me

please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please adopt me ?

Crikey McGrikey 14:18, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

You're gonna have to beg (and spam) harder 'n that if you want in. Way harder. (beg n' spam sounds like a doggy treat)   Le Cejak • <14:21, 11 Jun 2008>

Uhh... yeah, hang on for 45 minutes or so. I'll gladly adopt you formally once I get home from teh skoolz. Back in a bit... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:05, Jun 11

Whew. Sorry about that. Anyways, here's the officialness: Sure, consider yourself adopted! If you like, you can add {{Adoptee|TheLedBalloon}} your userpage. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me right here, on my talk page, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Otherwise, be sure to have a look at HTBFANJS and BGBU, which may answer a few of your questions, and will generally help you be good at Uncyc. Happy editing! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 20:34, Jun 11

How do I make text bigger?

The title says it all really.

By the way I killed you

--McWooty 21:21, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

GAH! There's a lightsaber IN MAH BELLY! :O Sweet chop, btw. Anyways, the simplest way to make big text is the use of html. Specifically, <big>TEXT</big> tags, which work like this: TEXT. Hope this helps, - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:28, Jun 11

Not that much, I mean big as in:

BIG!!!

know what i mean?

Schreib bis bald!--McWooty 17:52, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

In the name of the Emperor, answer me!

I agree! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 18:32, Jun 13

Wikipedia says, be bold! sirsysrq @ 18:37 Jun 13

Word. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 18:39, Jun 13

Er.. Schreib bis bald is German for "please write back" not that I expected you illiterate yobbos to know

you haven't been very helpful so far, but I remain optimistic to the fact that admins actually do something--McWooty 20:21, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Do you mean making headers? Because you just did that... if you could show me an example of what you're trying to do, that'd help a lot... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:48, Jun 15

Oh wait, I've just worked it out (partly thanks to you, hmph) you should have told me you could use the <big>TEXT</big> multiple times to make it bigger. Well this has been a very long discussion so I think it's time to stop.--McWooty 17:22, 16 June 2008 (UTC) by the way if you reply I'll irradiate your eyeballs and devour your brain.

Guess what

Do what you want cause a pirate is a free. You are a pirate!

Yar har fiddle deedee. Being a pirate is alright with me. Do what you want cause a pirate is free. You are a pirate!

You are a pirate! (Yay!)

We've got us a map (a map!) to lead us to a hidden box that's all locked up with locks (with locks!) and buried deep away. We'll dig up the box (the box!) we know it's full of precious booty. Burst open the locks and then we'll say hooray!

Yar har fiddle deedee. If you love to sail the sea, you are a pirate! (Weigh anchor!) Yar har fiddle deedee. Being a pirate is alright with me. Do what you want cause a pirate is free. You are a pirate! Arr yar ahoy and avast ticketySEX and tickety fast! Hang the black flag at the end of the mast! You are a pirate!

Hahahahahaha... (yay!) We're sailing away (set sail!) adventure waits on every shore. we set sail and explore (yar har!) and run and jump all day (yay!) We float on our boat (the boat!) until it's time to drop the anchor, then hang up our coats (aye aye!) until we sail again!

Yar har fiddle deedee. If you love to sail the sea, you are a pirate! <record scratch> (Land ho!) Yar har fiddle deedee. Being a pirate is alright with me. Do what you want cause a pirate is free. You are a pirate!

Yar har! Wind at your back, lass. Wherever you go! Blue sky above and blue ocean below, you are a pirate! Hahahahahaha... You are a pirate... hehehehehe... – Preceding unsigned comment added by Charitwo (talk • contribs)

...I am not a AAAARRRRGGHH! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 11:11, Jun 12

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7

Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job by Qua Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But don't worry, Qua (Uncyclopedia's shittiest n00b) and half of YTTE have taken over UnSignpost, well...until Cajek gets unbanned. Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment." Flumpa "taking toys and going home". by lots of different people It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow. Internet safety month has begun. By Dr. Skullthumper We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content CLIT Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. This column has been blocked by Websense. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor". Finals approach for student-Uncyclopedians, procrastination triples By TheLedBalloon Aww, kitty! Isn't he cute? Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now. NONSENSE CATASTOPHE by Cajek An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY.

Check out these pages! How dare you! Google is the new 42 Join Scientology Or Else! Wikis different from our own PWN'D! From our logs: 09:42, 5 June 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.)) 15:33, 5 June 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (time served already.....reduced sentence) 13:42, 4 June 2008, TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 221.154.246.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Sorry, you're too dumb to edit this wiki. You can come back when you grow a brain.) 12:35, 4 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 47 seconds ‎ (ZOMG LINKIN' SHOCK BANBANBANBANBAN) 03:55, June 10, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.2.113.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (TAGLOG MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK TAGLOG?!) 20:07, June 10, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Are you ban hunting or something?) 05:56, June 11, 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.0.83.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You fail at funny. Read HTBFANJS. Slowly. Then copy it out 100 times in longhand and maybe, *maybe* I'll let you edit here again.)) Biopic of the Week 127.0.0.1 ~ Quite possibly the greatest IP that has ever lived. He is literally everywhere at once. He is in your computer, destroying it bit by bit. He is in your living room, eating your Flamin' Hot Cheetos. He is in your bedroom possibly getting laid. He is in every room you could possibly think of. All Hail 127.0.0.1!!! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Euroipods and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "Can-in-the-pan" ~ Showcasing the unerring ability of the British to come up with expressions that bear no connection whatsoever to the item or act they're describing, this is used by the Cornish to refer to a somersault. A small template glorious prize is on offer to the person who comes up with the best suggestion as to why. Answers on a postcard to UU's talk page. Page Quote of the Week: Oswald's guilt was assured when he was witnessed running the 397 yards from the Book Depository Building and began teabagging the President Warren Commission Best New Article of the Week: That Guy Standing Behind You with the Freakin' Huge Chainsaw, no words can sum up how incredibly good this article is. It tells this story about a guy who wasn't cared for who started chopping things up with a chainsaw. Sure some critics are skeptical but we at the UnSignpost think this is the best new article yet. Well until it gets deleted of course. Article of the week: That one written by Cajek all the way at the bottom was pretty damn good. I love articles that have references to sex in 'em. I don't have much to do in this trailer, and when I see a reference to sex it's like my pants fly. off. It's okay, the cats don't understand what's going on. Well, the dogs and the chimp may understand but they're not complainin'. Nope, reading Uncyclopedia articles gets me too hot to care about social constraints.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:54, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Just one question

I noticed you immediately huffed my article about Galneryus like a minute after I wrote it.Now that's fast ! Anywho,I just wrote it so short because I wanted to start from somewhere,and build on it the following days.When I do it again,should I do it all in one go ?

Thanks in advance !

P.S.:Sorry I'm such a friggin n00b,LOL ROXXORZ ROFLCOPTER !!!1! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Darkblaze (talk • contribs)

Yeah, it was awfully short, which is why I huffed it. If you want to take a while to work on a page, it's best to either tag it with {{Construction}}, or simply start it in userspace. I restored what you had so far, and put it here, in your userspace, for you. Now you can just work on it there for as long as you need to, without fear of insta-huffage. Cheers, - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 20:53, Jun 13

I am coming down now

Hi, Led! I took the 'under construction' sign down on the page I wrote about Baznoc and would love a type-written thrashing of what I could do to improve this page. The LSD has subsided and I am faced with the reality of the EDIT, if it isn't huffed immediately. Would you take a look and be honest. I Want to get better at this. I do hate to get a 'red-assed whuppin' over my article but, I think it needs review. Thanks Again!--baznoc 21:14, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Sure, I'll take a look at it for you. Is this the page you mean? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:22, Jun 13

Yep and I did some touch up this AM, and I am through until I get hit, for the re-write, or the huffing. I thought you'd would know if it needs Pee Peview? It could help? Thanx--baznoc 14:50, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh dear...Sorry man, I'm really busy all of a sudden. I'll be free by Saturday, but until then you may just want to get a pee review. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:43, Jun 16

Yea, sorry about that

21:03 . . TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Image:HomerD.jpg": It's the same statue,
 so it's prolly not necessary to have 2 sperate things...drop me a line if you want it back)

What you did there was fine. :-) Is there a way to check for duplicate images before uploading? I guess it's just a memory thing if you have seen the image somewhere before... MrN 21:09, Jun 14

Yeah, it's pretty much a memory thing... You can search Uncyc for images, though, if one seems familiar. Just run a search, then at the bottom of the results page tick off the "images" box and search again. In this case, though, I just happened to remember it from The Destiniad. :P Where is Groovester, anyway? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:14, Jun 14

Yea, I use that image search thing sometimes, but it does not actually show you the picture, and people often don't use a file name which relates to the thing anyway. Um? Groovester? /me Grooves on down around Led's talk page pretending to know what he's talking about... MrN 21:19, Jun 14

Huh? I coulda sworn you knew Jim Groovester... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:24, Jun 14

You mean personally? Nope. Not me. Obviously I have seen him around the wiki from time to time, but not much recently. From looking at his talk page, looks like he was running out of ideas for new articles... I have a plan to try to get a few more collaborations / people working on the same things going actually... When I get the page set-up in my user space, you can see what you think of it. :) MrN 21:30, Jun 14

User:MrN9000/Whorehouse Well, I'm not sure if this counts as whoring or not! Care to whore anything there yourself? MrN 00:13, Jun 15

Ooh, I'll have to check this out... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 00:53, Jun 15

Well, you obviously approve of the idea! Hopefully you can see what I'm trying to do here. I'm just trying to get a bit more collaboration going really. There is a talk page for the Whorehouse now, or obviously please edit the hell out of the "rules" I have listed. I figured I would leave it a few days and hopefully a few more people will notice it, and then I might go to the Dump. Trouble is, I'm just not sure where to whore this page! HeHe... Oh, it's OK, I listed it on Cajeks talk page. Everyone will see it. :-) MrN 01:07, Jun 15

Right. And yeah, I dig the idea of more collabs. They make me think of pages like Conservapedia, which I helped make with Ljlego and Modus. The three of us contributing equally really pulled everything together, I think. Plus, they're usually buckets o' fun. :) - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 01:24, Jun 15

Thank you TheLedBalloon

Thank you! for your support. May your socks stay forever dry! Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 21:03, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

And I hope it's not premature to congratulate you on Uncyc of the Month :) Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 21:22, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Aww, you guys're too nice to me... :P Thanks for the thanking! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:26, Jun 14

No really. Everyone is too nice to Led. FU BALLON! Note the one "o". That's cause I don't like you. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:51, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

*cries* - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:59, Jun 16

oh hai thar, noob can haz unban?

This guy came on IRC complaining that his IP address was used to blank stuff, even though he wasn't the blanker. Can you change the ban so that the ban remains on the IP address, but it doesn't block account creation, so the dude can get an account? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:50 Jun 15, 2008

I think it's all set now... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:36, Jun 15

Thank you

Thanks for your help bro. I promise to be a great Uncyclopedian. Unlike Wikipedia, I can actually have a sense of humor here. UncyclopediaRocks12866 04:36, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

By the way, how can I seek administrative powers?UncyclopediaRocks12866 04:36, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Well, the official voting page is at VFS. Basically, if you help out with site maintenance and generally make yourself part of the community for long enough, people forget about that crack whore scandal(It was one time, I swear!) and someone nominates you. If enough users and admins vote for you, then you get opped. However, I wouldn't worry about any of that for now. You just got here! Why not have a look around, read the writing field-guide, maybe write an article, and generally enjoy yourself? Besides, the cabal secretly prefers administrators who don't ask to be administrators. Not that there is one, or anything. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 05:06, Jun 17

There is no cabal. Also, the cabal did not forget that crack whore scandal. ~ 23:14, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Love Fist?

do you like love fist? they are a good band ey? best band ever ey? eyeyeyey? yeah, love fist is epic. AwesomeGuy 23:11, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Sorry, don't know 'em... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:47, Jun 17

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_pk1kPD3Gsw&feature=related http://youtube.com/watch?v=K-HQIOCQngA&feature=related it's a fake band made up for GTA Vice City, sounds good though. if you don't like the first you will probably like the 2nd. if you don't like either, you are a horse.

A very special request

Dear Mr. Balloon.

You have apparently visited the Traditional Values website 40,908 times since it's inception on June 17th. Sadly, the staff here at TraditionalValues.com.org.gov have run out of ideas for more traditional values to add to our collection. Could you please help?

Thank you,

Traditional Christian Folk 01:21, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

That was a clever way of saying, could you maybe help me with mah article, Mr. Adopter?   Le Cejak • <1:21, 19 Jun 2008>

it's probably, like, the most horrifying thing I've ever written, and that includes my psycho-thriller.   Le Cejak • <1:27, 19 Jun 2008>

Sure, I'll take a look at it if I get a chance. Just gimme a li'l bit, I gotta wrap up some finals review... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 01:51, Jun 19

Mkay, here's what I thought: It was great! Really funny, actually! However, I would like to see maybe one or two more sections that somehow escalate the joke. As of right now, your list items remain somewhat static, with everything at a similar level of WTFness. Personally, I'd like to see you do something ridiculous in one or two more headers. I could see you going either as far into the extreme ridiculousness of "well duh *rolleyes*" as possible, sorta like Public service announcement, or going in the opposite direction, by being even more conservative, perhaps even venturing into sexism/racism/bigotry -- what I call "the triad" of extreme neocons. Anyways, keep in mind that this is just an idea I had, and there are plenty of other opinions out there. Cheers, - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 03:43, Jun 19

I chose to go the route of escalation. It just seemed that an article on Traditional Values should have a section on dick smacks (stolen from PSA) and selling crack to kids. Just so that we Christians know what we're up against.   Le Cejak • <4:59, 19 Jun 2008>

No one talks to me anymore

Except for UU who greets me every morning. Do I smell bad? ~ 11:18, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Couldn't tell you. I smoked so much I lost my sense of smell. I've been quit years but haven't got it back yet. Oh, hang on, this is me replying to you again. That's not going to do anything for your paranoia, is it? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:24, Jun 19

Probably not. Good morning UU! ~ 11:27, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Terrible when people ignore ya. If only there was some kind of page where people could let others know what they are working on. That way, there would be a bit more interaction between the users. Personally I find just writing by myself boring. It's soo much better when people work together on stuff. In addition, does this post actually have anything to do with anything here? Hell! I don't care! any excuse... Also, Hi Led! :) MrN 11:50, Jun 19

Hey guys! Yeah, I've been at school n' whatnot... now I'm at UnIdiot's house, and since finals are over I'm no longer obligated to care. Summer starts Saturday, so I'll be extra active for a couple weeks coming up. I won't be here a good chunk of what is this Friday night EST time, though. I have things to do. A concert, if ya will. In fact, one could even go so far as to say SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 18:56, Jun 19

Hmm, I wonder what Led is up to this Friday... MrN 19:01, Jun 19

Uh... er... um... wanking? On a more serious note, i can has ban? I really really need to work on assessments and the only way I will achieve anything is sans Uncyclopedia. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 10:54, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

Sure, how long do you want it? Also, in the ass or the mouth? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 12:28, Jun 20

5 days - mouth (I'll come pleading on IRC if I/you suffer withdrawal) --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:43, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

HOW THE HELL DID A PERSONAL RANT BECAME A CONVERSATION ABOUT LEDDY'S SEXUAL MISCONDUCT?! ~ 12:39, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

Psh, you should know what to expect from my talk page by now. :P - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 12:42, Jun 20

UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay

June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8

UnSignpost abandoned by creators! by UU Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all. by DJ Irreverent UU Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot by UU Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler by UU In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick".

Check out these pages! If people are gonna do it, might as well keep 'em off the streets Tuber tales The Cult of QVFD spreads! Don't think there's enough to vote for? Fag to the rescue! From our logs: 13:12, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You will be better appreciated at that cheap whorehouse down the road. Take the third left) 21:59, 17 June 2008 Hinoa (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.38.121.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (UN:VAIN: It's what's for [INSERT GENERIC MEAL HERE]) 09:07, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.128.148.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Budha says: Blanking shall not lead you to enlightment. Write funny articles, my friend, and be happy) 04:59, 16 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.107.246.135 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 day ‎ (No no. When was that last time YOU had a really big solid shit?) 01:35, 15 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.2.209.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You know, you're probably the dumbest person I've ever seen. That's saying a lot, you know. You should be proud.) 17:57, 13 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 84.168.60.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Banning Italy, one IP at a time.) Biopic of the Week Zombiebaron ~ Zombiebaron? Zombiebaron, zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Strong Zombiebaron. Text-based Zombiebaron. Also, Zombiebaron. Finally, Zombiebaron. Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Bubble Wrap and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "I wanna new wicker wacker" ~ Discerning Uncyclopedians finding themselves in the heart of Liverpool, but worryingly badly dressed, should fret no more - this handy phrase allows them to ask "can I have a new suit please sir?" like a native. It's anyone's guess as to what they'll end up clad in though. MrN UU's delete reason of the week: The_possible_lovechild_of_Mark_Twain_and_Oscar_Wilde ~ Delete - Holy crap, I've actually read this at least twice. I can't understand why it never occured to me to put it on VFD --Kip the Dip

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 00:59, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

Can you help me with my sig?

Hey, I'm LJ's n00b, but he's been away for a while. I need to create a sig, and don't know how to. I think Jocke Pirat told me to talk to you. Could you help me out? [[The Woodburninator 05:11, 21 June 2008 (UTC)]]

Sure! First, create a userspace subpage, kinda like User:The Woodburninator/sig, or some such. Fill that subpage with code that turns into something that looks like a sig you think you like. Just make sure it follows all the rules. Your next step is to put {{SUBST:Nosubst|User:The Woodburninator/sig}} in your preferences, and tick the "raw signature" box. Then, simply sign with the usual four tildes, and you're all set! Hope this helps, - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 17:02, Jun 21

Yeah. I think Cajek saw this, and helped me out with one. Thanks. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 05:30, 22 June 2008 (UTC)

No problem at all. Cheers, - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 05:32, Jun 22

someone's fucking around in Thailand

There's some... some kind of... revert war going on... don't understand...   Le Cejak • <5:33, 22 Jun 2008>

Yeah, I tried to help solving it. Doesn't seem to be working. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 05:35, 22 June 2008 (UTC)

From now on, just use that article's talk page to chat. I kinda need to sleep soon, so...gimme a sec, then I wish you luck! Keep in mind that a joke to keep things from getting to heavy is rarely a bad idea...good luck! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 05:38, Jun 22

Frappr map, do you ever lie?

Alright, so I was just snooping around the Frappr map, and apparently you and the UnIdiot live in the same town. Is that true? Do you gize know each other? Or are either of you posting lies on the Frappr map? (Because nobody does that.) sirsysrq @ 21:25 Jun 22

Yep, they do know each other.   Le Cejak • <21:30, 22 Jun 2008>

Yeah, I'm actually hanging at his house right now. :P - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:34, Jun 22

Put yourself back away Led. UnIdiot may want to see it, but we most certainly do not. MrN 21:43, Jun 22

Heh. Actually, we're working on an UnTune that's going to be called "Feelin' Good Tonight," by "Johnny Feelgood and the Latex Minions." Might be out by tonight or tomorrow, depending on how quickly we can make not suck(or in this case, suck just the right amount). - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:48, Jun 22

Haha, that's cool. I'm working on a song entitled "Dicks Please" by "Leddy Sillybuns and the UnVagina Lovers." sirsysrq @ 22:08 Jun 22

Dude, SysRq, your sig just totally changed colors! Dude, sweet. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:35, Jun 22

Yeah, it totally does that from time to time. Err will leave and Ignignokt will come and turn it green. Happens whenever you're not looking. sirsysrq @ 23:22 Jun 22

Oh yea, I see... Every one is talking about SysRq's sig, and no one is mentioning my new breasts! Oh, I give up... Night all. MrN 23:25, Jun 22

What's that, MrN, you say something? I was mesmerized my SysRq's sig... Ooh, the colors... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:32, Jun 22

Sorry MrN, looks like if given a choice, the average Uncyclopedian would rather look at Mooninite dongs than bewbies. sirsysrq @ 00:13 Jun 23

Wanna see a cool video?

D:D:D:D:D:D:D

No longer available... :( - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:34, Jun 23

You stole my welcome template template...template...Wha...

That's awesome, i'm notable enough to be stole from by admins. I feel honoured :). Also your talk page makes Firefox 3 cry. (Bonner) (Talk) Jun 24, 20:45

Yep, I ripped off the format from your thing, although the text is a bit different. Before, I was rocking HerrDoktor's style. As for talk, yeah, I'm gonna have to archive that sooner or later... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:48, Jun 24

Damn, I actually thought for a minute that HerrDoktor came back. ~ 21:50, 24 June 2008 (UTC)

Nope, unfortunately. :( - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 21:52, Jun 24

Welcoming blocked users again?

I could have sworn we talked about this kind of thing before. BRING FORTH THE STONE OF SHAME! -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 22:37, 24 June 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, but he'll eventually be back, so it's ok...sort of. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:44, Jun 24

Remove the stone of shame, attach the stone of triumph! God, you'd think I'd be past recycling Simpsons gags by now, wouldn't you? -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 23:01, 24 June 2008 (UTC)

Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? WE DO...WE DO... - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:10, Jun 24

How do Leddy

So yeah. Being as I so rarely venture onto IRC (partly self-inflicted, partly work blocks access inflicted), that whole "get the approval of several admins on IRC to get rollback" thing is a bit of a git for me. And I was thinking that rollback would be very handy for a friendly, helpful, RC patrolling type such as myself. So I figured I'd just try the whole talk page route instead. I already have Jewish approval, so I was wondering if I could have the metallic inflatable vote? --UU - natter 09:20, Jun 26

How come I don't have any superpowers? I AM the inflatable admin's noob, after all!   Le Cejak • <10:35, 26 Jun 2008>

Yeah, it's completely fine with me. Was the javascript not working for you? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 15:32, Jun 26

It's just taking the equivalent of several ice ages to load the longer pages, so more than once I've been edit conflicted by further vandalism. Thanks. And further to that: So, understand. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years! --UU - natter 15:42, Jun 26

Sure, just as long as you face up, make your stand, and realize you're living in the golden years. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:47, Jun 26

Evening Led

I noticed that Flappy woo-ha has 899 links to it. That's a lot of red links :( It's on UN:DPP at the moment, and I wondered if it might best be made a link to Special:Random or something... Maybe even User:MrN9000? I guess it would need protecting... :-) MrN 00:30, Jun 27

I tried making a redirect to a special page once. Let's just say that the word "fail" was involved.   Le Cejak • <0:32, 27 Jun 2008>

Fair enough... Well User:MrN9000 it is then? No? OK... How about Penis then. What? That's the same thing you say? Grr. MrN 00:35, Jun 27

I think you've linked to penis enough times today, mister. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 00:36, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

is that so Boomer MrN 00:39, Jun 27

Yes it is, MrN. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 00:42, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I took that bit out of my welcome message mostly because I realized how annoying that could get. Feel free to redirect it somewhere, if you like. MadMax wanted to put it at made up words, then naughty bits, so you could try one of those...maybe... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:03, Jun 27

UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

June 26th, 2008 • Issue 9

Uncyclopedia running out of Interesting Stuff. UnSignpost in Jeopardy! By Qua Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia Cabal (there is no cabal) itself. Cajek, the UnSignpost's co-founder, commented on the shortage of interesting stuff saying "...". Mostly this is a time of crisis for the UnSignpost which has been falling into a state of crisis for a while now. and we need you to help. All you have to do is send money to the UnSignpost offices. And please, refer freinds to do the same please! We need it more then you. Penis Man returns! By THEDUDEMAN At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned. Local Uncyclopedian starts up Devil-Worship Wiki By Qua In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days. Uncyclopedia's Reign of the Newbs Begins By Cajek and whoever else Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud? "I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine. Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys!

Check out these pages! Try winning this game U...N...P...R...O...V...I...S...E...! link link From our logs: 00:29, THEDUDEMAN (Talk | contribs) (uploaded a new version of "Image:483922.jpg": <3 you Zombiebaron! ) 20:10, 22 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.179.141.146 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (No means *no*) 06:21, 22 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked .cx (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Oh for fuck's sake) 05:30, 22 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Dunquin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (The Irishg defence forces are a bunch of wankers who were dominated by the brits who are even greater wankers. They eat potatos, drink guinness and fight imaginery wars) 03:42, 22 June 2008 Hindleyite (Talk | contribs) blocked 217.54.74.232 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games. ) 12:42, 21 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Page blanker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I wonder if you realize just how easy your name makes it for me to permaban you...) 07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 124.170.144.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.) 08:48, 20 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Bl4nker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (LOL YOU BLANKED SOMETHING THAS SO FUNNIES. Now fuck off, eh?) 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: (No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.) 14:59, June 25, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked KBD5196 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I hope this ban log gets featured in the UnSignpost. Also, you are a wanking blanker. Or a blanking wanker. Whichever.) Gripe of the Week MantiBot, Yes a bot, this bot has been going around causing terrorism to articles in the form of interlinking. Not only does he support terrorism, he also supports the de-opping of TheLedBalloon who has been known to hate every foreign country that's not America on the Planet. What's worse, he isn't even properly marked as a bot. FU Mantiwhore! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Russian Adolf Hitler and the Crappy Translation Quote of the Week: "Listen, here's the story: The other night I saw Jackass the Movie 2 and they extracted sperm from a horse so one of the dudes could drink it. It was that moment when I realized how little I know about nature, or rather, animals and their private parts. You see, it turns out horsies have big ol' peepees, and the first picture I expertly designed was actually close to the reality, and I needed to start from scratch on a new picture. The result of that is what you see on the right, the one with the bigger censored penis." -So So

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:45, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

Ahem

Ahem

Ahem

Ahem... sorry, I have an cold.

Just wondering how someone would make other pages on someone's userspace 'n all...

You should probably answer since I have just posed a question, as is the usual response.

ahem--McWooty 19:30, 29 June 2008 (UTC)

Hea, I'm not sure if Led is around, but to make a page in your userspace just create User:McWooty/whatever you fancy... Obviously change "whatever you fancy" to something else. Well, not "something else", but you get the idea... You should not be creating pages in other peoples userspaces... MrN 19:47, Jun 29

Yeah, pretty much what he said... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:50, Jun 29

ahem again, I wanted to ask about sigs, how do I n stuff? (thanks for the help btw)--McWooty 20:30, 29 June 2008 (UTC)

Mkay... Well, the first thing you need is a userspace subpage, sorta like what MrN just told you about. Make it something like User:McWooty/sig. Then, put {{SUBST:nosubst|User:McWooty/sig}} your preferences' nickame box. Be sure to tick the 'raw signatures' box. Then, just sign with four tildes, and voila! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:37, Jun 29

Also. - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[20:47 29 June]

Wow, that has absolutely nothing to do with anything that anyone's said. Hooray for irreverence! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:51, Jun 29

Speaking of irreverence, where is the DJ? - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[20:58 29 June]

Boy, you whores are persistent... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:01, Jun 29

No they're not. - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[21:02 29 June]

# 21:06, 29 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs | block) blocked YesTimeToEdit (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 11 years (Whore! WHORE!!!) (unblock) - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:07, Jun 29

You blocked your own brother! You made me cry! How do you feel now?!? How dare you! ...And just while I was about to whore to some other user!!!! - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[21:14 29 June]

This page may be 68 kilobytes long but this is getting ridiculous. (P.S. Wryyyyyyyyyy)--McWooty 15:23, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Psh, Spang's is 250 kb long, so I have some catching up to do.

...I'm not compensating for anything! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 15:33, Jun 30

Anyways since you are online I wanted to thank you for the help on sigs but I was wondering about adding titles such as CMC Mgr and those random pics you all seem to have.--McWooty 15:44, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Well, the title thing is done like this: {{title|Your new title here}} As for the pictures, you mean those South Park-ish looking ones? You can make those using this site. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:28, Jun 30

And if you do make a South Park pic, make sure to add it here! --UU - natter 20:20, Jun 30

Latin Motto

globus plumbeus – Preceding unsigned comment added by 80801742 (talk • contribs)

Hola, como está? Mi sombrero es muy rojo hoy, y tú? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:32, Jun 29

Surely Globum plumbum in second declension nominative? -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:29, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

BP

Ok, I'll try, but he is being a dip shit about VFH. I mean, really, I've never voted against someone's article in spite. And the comparison was between my heavily edited and polished article that about 5 experienced users contributed to and his newly created and unpolished article that I wish would have been considered a little before he threw it on the news tray. But still, sorry.

--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 04:19, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Why does anyone vote against? It only makes people feel bad and pisses them off. I swear to not vote against unless it's absolutely, unquestionably VFD.   Le Cejak • <4:27, 01 Jul 2008>

Because there are articles that shouldn't be on the front page, plain and simple. There's more pages than people know about that fall into Uncyc's middle class, between the poverty-stricken VFD and the nobility of VFH. If you don't think a page is good enough for the front, vote against. Seriously, do it! Just be cool about it and on one'll care. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:36, Jul 1

Well then abstain! Don't ever vote against unless it's serious. Because all it ever is is an insult, right? Right, Led? ...right?   Le Cejak • <4:47, 01 Jul 2008>

Not really, no. If you don't think the page should be featured, you should vote against. I don't mind at all when I get against votes, and I know that if I could write something a bit better I wouldn't get any... For me, they're nothing but a reason to go back and do it better next time. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:51, Jul 1

Moreover, if people didn't vote against, things would just stagnate until they were up next in the feature queue. Perhaps they would get removed, but I think recently we had an article featured after something like 60 days on VFH. That's all well and good, but if something doesn't deserve the feature, not voting on it just says "it may deserve the feature." If it may deserve the feature, that's fine. If it doesn't, vote against.

Oh don't mind me. I don't know how I actually got here, but since I was here, I figured I should input. -RAHB 06:29, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Against. Per RAHB. Also, I've had an against vote or two, and didn't take it as an insult. If the reason were "because the writer smells of wee" I might, but as it says somewhere on my userpage, comedy is a subjective thing. Out of all the articles I've had on VFH, the one I think is the funniest was the only one not to get a feature, which shows what I know! So in conclusion: against votes are good, as long as they're justified in your own personal opinion. --UU - natter 08:26, Jul 1

Well, every single time I finish an article I'm really scared that people won't like it or won't find it funny, and I just assumed that it was that way for most people...   Le Cejak • <12:49, 01 Jul 2008>

I guess for me, every time I finish an article, I'm still surprised if anyone but me finds it funny. But maybe that's just me. Still, it probably explains why against votes don't bother me too much - you don't get it, fine - your funny bone is located in a different place to mine. (It probably explains why my review average is the lowest in PEEING as well). Still love your stuff man, even when I vote against the occasional one! --UU - natter 13:40, Jul 1

Well, that makes me feel better, but I still will never vote against! Ya can't make me!   Le Cejak • <13:43, 01 Jul 2008>

What about if it's "too Englandy"? ;p --UU - natter 13:46, Jul 1

I changed my vote on that one!   Le Cejak • <13:49, 01 Jul 2008>

Ah, but see, that's a fine reason to vote against! If Cajek reads an article and goes, 'woah, what the fuck is going on here? And what the fuck is a lorry???' then don't you think a whole bunch of other users that wander by the main page may also feel the same way? This isn't for us, it's for them, which is an important thing to remember. Also, I worry about how funny my articles are all the time. An against doesn't mean it's not funny, it means it's not good enough for the main page, and if I enjoyed myself writing it, that's the most important thing. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:29, Jul 1

I remember that all the time. And occasionally, I wonder if denying feature to an article that is bloody funny if you live on one side of the Atlantic, but doesn't travel well, may be denying people who will love it the chance to see it. After all, I could so easily have voted against the likes of Jerry Falwell as I've never heard of the bugger. We've had fairly US-centric features that others may not understand too much of... Oh bugger this, I'm getting off this high horse. I didn't want to get on it in the first place, that was a flippant remark, and I think your response was intended similarly - I'm a little highly strung right now. I'm gonna go now and watch Letterman reruns on some obscure cable channel so I can better understand USA-ish articles! --UU - natter 17:56, Jul 1

You're right, sorry, man. We cool? Oh, and in a completely unrelated story, I just remembered that I've seen this movie. SOUL SKATERS! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:06, Jul 1

Cool? We're never cool! We edit an online comedy wiki, you know far too many Star Wars and Matrix quotes, and I own Lord of the Rings Risk! maybe I shouldn't have admitted that. But yeah, we're good. And me and Cajek are good. And me and everybody. Isn't it great how we're all better people?

Fished in! Man, screw watching Letterman, I'm gonna go watch Wayne's World instead. --UU - natter 18:13, Jul 1

Party time! Excellent! WEE-WEE-WEE-WEE *Nyeow* - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:15, Jul 1

W(h)ining

Hate to sound like a whinger but can you change UnTunes:I Am The Very Model of a Crazy Fundamentalist on my front page blurb to Campaign Leaflet as I like the latter much more than the former. It is in fact my favo(u)ritist article I have written so far. Please with lots of sprinkles on top. Just change it to politician or lobbyist or something like that. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:07, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Were you too ashamed, too scared or didn't notice that I was the one who did that masterpiece? ~ 14:18, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

uh... er... admiration with a hint of respect... and icecream? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:25, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

I did notice you missed a "t" off "night club" in the first sentence. Insert caveat about your English being better than my Hebrew/Swahili/Mandarin here. --UU - natter 14:26, Jul 1

Hmm, maybe one of these days UnIdiot and I can get around to doing the actual audio for that... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:32, Jul 1

Can you check out Les Claypool?

Some I.P. keeps editing Les Claypool. I checked his changes, and they are pretty much all taken from the Wikipedia article. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 04:23, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I reverted his edits, and I may block the guy. You know, you can undo his changes, too, you know. Just go to the history and click edit on the last version of the page before the offender edited it. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:26, Jul 2

Yeah, I usually do, and I tried, but it said I was unable because of some "intermediate edits" or something. I couldn't figure it out, so I figured you could sort it out. Perhaps you know what my problem was. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 04:29, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

Hmm...maybe you were trying to click 'undo?' That won't work when you have to get rid of multiple edits--you have to actually click that date and time when it was last edited before the vandal and then click 'edit' once you get there, and save page. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:32, Jul 2

Right-o. Thanks. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 04:33, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

3 thangs

First thang: How come you mentioned my name in your {{USERNAME}} article? Am I that famous?

Second thang: I was a year old yesterday! You are a great adopter, led. Keep on flyin'.

Third thang: You nominated me for an award! Although I prefer seeing noobier noobs get awards.

Obligitary fourth thang: ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL! ...OH LOL!

  Le Cejak • <2:02, 03 Jul 2008>

1. Pfft, chya.
2. It's your happy happy birthday, so we all want to say we wish you a happy birthday, in every single way/It's your happy happy and so here is what we'll do we'll wish you happy happy birthday, from all of us to you, hey!
3. Yes, you earned that award with your...somethingyness. Go you!
4. HEY YOUR HEADLINE SAID THREE THINGS HOW IS THERE A FOURTH THING THIS MAKES NO SENSE WHY WON'T YOU MAKE SENSE I HOPE YOU CAN PERCEIVE AND UNDERSTAND MY SENSE OF OUTRAGE BECAUSE YOU ARE MAKING NO SENSE RIGHT NOW!
5. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 06:05, Jul 3

1. Excuse me Mr. Admin, can you make it just say Cajek to everyone instead of it replacing itself with whatever jackass looks at it? Or, conversely, can you change every user's name to Cajek or some similar variant thereof?
2. How can I say this delicately... uhhh errr uummmmm THAT WAS THE GREATEST SONG EVER!
3. I KNOW I PUT FOUR THINGS IN THERE JUST TO MIND FUCK YOU!! HOW DOES IT FEEEEEELLLL???
4. whoops, I screwed THAT up... which one am I missing?   Le Cejak • <6:12, 03 Jul 2008>

Haha, I had way more numbers than you just now. Admit it, you're totally jealous. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 06:14, Jul 3

Happy Late Birthday

Now go get laid. And I'm just under a month older than you! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 06:14, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, well, my dads could beat up your dad! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 06:17, Jul 3

Yeah, bullshit. GO GET LAID, ALREADY!!! Don't come back till you do. 16 is legal in MA. 18 is legal here in Georgia, but no one pays attention to that law. Go rape somebody. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 06:22, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, before, if I were to bang someone, they'd be raping me. Now that I'm sixteen, I can, in the eyes of the law, RAPE SOMEONE. Woo! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 06:24, Jul 3

So it is okay if I make a vanity article about my cat since I've been around for so long? Good, cause I got an idea for an UnNews tomorrow. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 06:29, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Bloody hell. So if you add Led's age to Dexter's age, I'm still older than both of you put together. Dam. No really. I'm going to bed. This old bastard clearly needs all the sleep he can get before he dies... Night all. MrN 01:28, Jul 4

I ayt ur kake. Sorry. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:35, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

hancock

why did you delete that article? – Preceding unsigned comment added by 61.68.245.58 (talk • contribs)

It was extremely short, and wasn't that funny. If you don't want it nixed, spend a little time to make it a full page. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:57, Jul 3

Will U Please Adopt Me? The Ultimate n00b

Yes, it's me the guy of your dreams (bobofosho2) or maybe nightmares. Anywho, will use please adopt me as the n00b I am, I need guidance, big time.-Bobofosho2 19:00, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Hey, you asked me first! Neener neener, Led, I got the template on his userpage! BOOYAH!   Le Cejak • <22:14, 03 Jul 2008>

Hey! That's adultery! Who you playin', bobofosho? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:04, Jul 4

Hi, i'm back!

I also have a new article i'm writing :) ~ Your adopted semi-noob, ~ NEZLR 03:55, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

July 10^th, 2008 • Tenth Issue Spectacular!

Uncyclopedia running out of interesting stuff, UnSignpost starts up shitty telethon! By DJ Irreverent Look at you, sitting there all high and mighty with your Chuck Norris facts and Oscar Wilde quotes, well during this season of laziness and sitting round jacking off, please donate the gift of humor (or humour, we bend that way to no matter how much we are chased out of church) to a poor Uncyclopedian run newspaper near you. Take this poor little article for example; Canadian Tire Money or Canny as no-one calls him, just 8 minutes old and he is already roaming the streets. Illiterate and doing incoherency, long lines of lists and e before i (especially after c), it is only a matter of time before he turns to gay jokes to fund his addictions. Please help this little article achieve its potential as an Injoke by donating the gift of laughter, stupidity... or even just simple bad taste. Successes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[complete success]! ~ Annoying Article Fuck not this again... ~ Captain Obvious Free publicity in exchange for; 1) Shitty memes 2) Dragging up shitty memes ~ Euroipods There's more you can do... Call you're nearest admin and start a discussion about just how much humor you can donate (read: swearing and shock-porn), or start the 2717231278th forum topic concerning how we all must strive to remove the scourge of shitty articles. In the immortally misattributed words of our founding fathers, stillwaters and Chronarion "Fuck were we high" er... or words of respected member TheLedBalloon "Also, in the ass or the mouth?" oh dear... or even words of respected member 81.101.207.62 "Hey look a donut". Amen. Our lines are open to your pledges 25/7. Please help Save Cats from Degrading Captions- wait... - Save the Porn onto my Hard-drive- uh... I remember! Save UnSignpost from falling into a pit of lame memes and boring articles, here is a parting word from a little one in need of YOUR help. Ry4N IS TEh GH3Y n00b whO SUX b4lls!!1 ~ Ryan kella Makes you think don't it? We will be taking your calls now. Or now. Not now. Ok, now. Modusoperandi OP'ed!? By: THEDUDEMAN This past month of June, the Uncyclopedia community got its first chance at VFS since February, and one new op was decided upon. While there were many great and very capable candidates, one in particular got the most attention and the most votes. Modusoperandi. This long time Uncyclopedian has been to VFS almost every time it gets opened as far as we can trace, and always misses it in the final round by a slim number of votes. However, this month turned out to be a winner for him, so congratulations Modus. MO likes to spend his time writing things and 'chopping some images, but also finds time to goof off in the forums, and relieve the everyday pressure of his fellow colleagues with his off topic sense of humor, which he rarely hides. Modus has a total of 19.5 featured articles as well as 10 featured images. We at UnSignpost congratulate Modus on his winnings, and are willing to put $10 on him becoming the next STM. UnSignpost Takes A Wikibreak By: UU Yeah, the UnSignpost, the newspaper that Uncyclopedia would totally fall apart without, took a wikibreak last week. They seem to be fashionable, so we thought we'd find out what they were all about. They seem to involve time spent not hunched over a keyboard in a darkened room. The UnSignpost reminds you that such activities are hazardous to your health, and should be avoided at all costs. (Note: this is absolutely true - in no way did the UnSignpost just miss a week because no-one could be bothered to edit it, or anything)

Check out these pages! Colonization? CMC? Is that some new kind of drug? Rollback: Privilege or Curse? Dimwits beware Cajek launches attempt to kill Wikia servers? From our logs: 19:56, 30 June 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a sloppy wet blowjob ‎ 19:42, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) changed group membership for Modusoperandi from (none) to sysop ‎ (I asked on IRC for a funny reason tto put here, and no-one could come up with one. Losers.) 22:39, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 80.42.211.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking articles will not compensate for your small penis)) (Block log); 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) (blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.) (Huff log); 18:21 . . Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Hate Crew official fan club": Shock to the page/and you're to blame/baby, you give stubs/a bad name) (Huff log); 20:12 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Cabal/Cabal9": content was: 'there is a cabal' (and the only contributor was located and executed by the cabal. There is no cabal) (Block log); 22:30 . . Mhaille (Talk | contribs) (blocked User:Revel4tion with an expiry time of infinite: and on the eight day he fucked off) 10:58, 8 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.95.139.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (You partly piss me off. The rest of me is in love. I'm torn. Come back later. I hate you. I love you!) Biopic of the Week MrN9000 ~ One of the more "seasoned" users on Uncyc, at a sprightly 360 years old, MrN was bitten by a pair of radioactive Y-fronts in his youth, bestowing upon him the awesome power of pants. Fortunately for us here at Uncyc, he decided to use those powers for good, and he is now our reigning king of poop, featured author and amateur tap dancer (hea, a man can have more than one hobby!) Quote of the Week <Codeine> here's a thought <Codeine> If you download music, supposedly you're damaging the music industry <Codeine> but <Codeine> if you download childporn, you're *supporting* the childporn industry <Codeine> I'M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS <Ljlego> moral of the story: <Ljlego> childporn is the way to go <zombieninja> XD <Run-DLL> thanks for the moral go-ahead Crappy deleted Stub of the Week "this chocolate is blue. and it has a BIG GREEN PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#" - From Blue chocolate Reason to take a Wikibreak of the Week (Admin Special) "You dream that you're being deopped after being called "The Bloody Admin" (as in that one whose hands are drenched in user's blood). Yes. Yes." - Mordillo

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:35, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

TLB Hunting season has begun!

UnNews:Day of No New News falls just short

Lol, run for your life. ----_{Mgr. Sir} Sonic80^☭ 00:58, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

I already got a plant I named robert, a toilet named Bonham Paul-Jones, and the word "jimmy" written on a piece of paper. wheres my 600$? ~ NEZLR 04:05, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Hey man

Hey, how's it goin'? Could you do me a favor? Eventually, like maybe next week, or in a few days, could you un-ban me from IRC? I was being an utter jackass a couple of minutes ago, and I certainly think I need some time off from there. Don't do it the next time you go on it yourself, just....eventually......'kay? If this is required, the name I was using was "NeilHamburger". -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 19:17, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Sure, I'll get around to it. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:31, Jul 14

Wondered if I could bother ya Led?...

To take a look at this thing we are talking about over at PEEING? Is it a good idea? Worth it? Please piss as appropriate... Cheers. :-) MrN 18:17, Jul 15

Yay

I know I didn't make it but I don't think it deserved an ICU--McWooty 10:30, 17 July 2008 (UTC)

I didn't actually put the tag on, I just huffed the page when the thing expired. Want me to bring it back for you? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 10:34, Jul 17

Sorry about the ED edit

I'm sorry, I didn't see the the "do not edit" bow at the bottom. I'll try not to do it again. --teflongone001 04:57, 20 July 2008 (UTC)Teflongone001

Yeah, you knw the stuff people on your talk pages said about quotes? You just added the worst kind--canned quotes. They're spam, overdone, and not really funny. We've heard what Kanye West thinks about what other people think about black people a bajillion times--try writing your own jokes. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 05:03, Jul 20

UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!

July 17^th, 2008 • Eleventh Issue • This issue isn't late, your calendar is fast.

It's The Poo Lit. Surprised? By UU Uncyclopedia's twice annual writing competition, the Poo Lit Surprise starts this week. In typical Uncyclopedia style, it seems to have come as a surprise to many, not least EMC, who was supposed to be running it, but who has disappeared without trace. Horrified by what was happening to their beloved and prestigious competition, the Uncyclopedia community rushed into action as soon as it noticed (a day or so late), and promptly agreed someone needed to do something. This was followed by some of the community running around in small circles, flapping their hands wildly and panicking a bit, before cuddly authority figure Zombiebaron decisively stepped in and selflessly told Dr. Skullthumper to sort it out and get the fuck on with it. At the time of going to press, both Skullthumper and Zombiebaron may have been available for comment for all we know, but we couldn't be bothered to ask them. VFS: The Race Hots Up For The Second Month Running By UU In an unprecedented turn of events, and due to namby-pamby unclear rules that have since been firmed up and given a healthy gay colour makeover, Uncyclopedia is voting for further candidates to be admitted to the non-existent cabal. The race is turning out to be quite a close one between several of the frontrunners, so the ever-impartial UnSignpost (founded by Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper) brings you pen pics of the current favourites. Heerenveen - Uncyclopedia's Tank. Doesn't sleep, eat, dream or pet fluffy animals. Does nothing, in fact, but patrol Special:Recentchanges, rolling over cyberbullying, shooting down crap, smoking out vandals and reverting their stuff, and other tank-like activities. What to expect: extreme diligence, and a bigger gun, apparently. MrN9000 - Profiled in the Unsignpost only last week, MrN has still found time to become even more awesome than he was then, and mends, mentors and poopsmiths his way around the site with matchless dedication. What to expect: zero tolerance for anything pants. Roman Dog Bird - Frankie is another tireless worker in the name of making crap stuff less crap, good stuff betterer, and shite stuff deleted. Wherever there is a thankless task to be done on the wiki, you shall find him. Which is a good job, because we have no intention of thanking him. What to expect: him to be ready from day one (hmm, that's a catchy slogan...) Dr. Skullthumper - A true legend of Uncyclopedia: handsome, talented, possessed of unprecedented levels of awesome, and a genius towards whom this newspaper (that he co-founded) is not in the least bit biased. Oh no. And can he give the editorial staff their teddies back now, please? What to expect: benevolent dictatorship with an iron fist. In a good way. RAHB - What comes to mind when you hear the name RAHB? Is it VFD? QVFD? QTVFD? RecentChanges? All those answers are correct and more when you get the new and improved RAHB this month! RAHB is an Uncyclopedia policy wonk with all the credentials of Al Gore, except for that Vice-President thing. What to expect: former audio superstar turned into a big, friendly admin. In a good way! Who will win? All may be reported in future editions of the UnSignpost. If we remember. And if we can be bothered.

Check out these pages! Some sort of prize thingy limps off the starting line No news is... Led news? Blog whoring FTW! From our logs: 17:49, 11 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.173.54.200 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This is a penis, this is you) 18:29, 11 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 156.34.72.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This ban is approved by the society of Chuck Norris followers. Chuck, for a better world ) 23:37, 13 July 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked Jimbo spends foundation money in russian prostitutes (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (IN them?) 08:31, 17 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.73.10.118 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (If there something I really detest is IPs with small penii trying to act like big honchos on a wiki web site. I'd like to meet you one day, Mr. IP, and send you over the IP hospital) Biopic of the Week Hyperbole ~ Hype is awesome! Hype has been on Uncyc for just a short time, and yet has already written some of the greatest articles ever composed by human beings! Hype is easily the greatest author ever to have graced this humble wiki, and it is surely only a matter of time before he sails past Ljlego's record of 76 features with consummate ease. And despite not having either the Democrat or Republican nomination, Hype is also the surest bet in this year's Presidential elections! Is there anything this guy can't do? Apart from that thing with the rosary and the 3 Mexican children? Comeback of the Week Gerrycheevers ~ For the third or fourth time this year, Uncyc's comeback kid has again popped through his revolving catflap to grace us with his presence after a period of absence! The UnSignpost staff are accepting bets as to how long this comeback will last. Any takers? Plea of the Week Hey you! Yes you! You're reading this, so you must have some free time you don't know what to do with, so why not write an article for the UnSignpost! As you can tell from reading this very issue, actual writing talent is not required, just spout some gubbins about something that's happened on the wiki during the last week, and as long as it's not too likely to start drama, we'll probably stick it in! How can you refuse? Go on, be your friend?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:08, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

PRESS

hey led, just a junior USP reporter looking for his first 'scoop'. (well, his second scoop, really, after UU made me look after his puppy.) anyway, i was wondering if you had any comment on the count to a million project and its harmless appearance yet diabolical undertones. i was also wondering if you had any comment on the most recent return of that awesome writer and sexy bruins fan, Gerrycheevers. --SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:21, 21 July 2008 (UTC)

Gerry! Good to see you back! It's been a while, hasn't it? Right now I'm editing from an iPod touch from St. Croix, and it's kinda annoying to type... But news is news! Just gimme a couple hours, and when I'll get a spare second I'll get back to you. Cheers, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:01, Jul 22

ok, here are my official statements... On the return of prolific writer gerrycheevers, allow me to say "welcome back, now gimme back my 20 dollars!" As for the harmless-appearing but diabolically-undertoning count to a million project, I'd like to say that, although the project appears harmless, there are definitely diabolical undertones." That's my story, and it's subject to change as often as it will make me look good! Cheers again, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:21, Jul 22

UnSignpost: July 24th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

July 24^th, 2008 • Twelfth Issue • Now On Time?

Count to a million By Gerrycheevers This week Uncyclopedians continued on their quixotic attempt to "count to a million." Started by Uncyclopedia Wiki-master and Chamber of Commerce Secretary Spang in early March of this year, the project seeks to eventually reach the number one million (1,000,000) through the ancient art of counting. Any person who is capable of taking a number, adding one to it, and expressing the result has been invited to join the massive undertaking, which has seen dozens of contributors come and go. As is always the case here at Uncyc, the project has spawned controversy, criticism, and a spin-off starring Tony Shalhoub as Olipro. The forum is an unprecedented pool of knowledge. As each number is reached, it is discussed in-depth by several Uncyclopedians. Insights such as "114 That's my age + 100 lololol" and "616 fucks fucking fucker's shitty crap" are a testament to the intellecually stimulating conversation that occurs each day. Oftentimes, relevant images are posted; the variety of these pictures can be seen by looking here, here, here, and here. However, not everyone is so optimistic about the project. Some have expressed concern that the entire thing has some kind of sinister purpose. When asked for a comment on the harmless-appearing but diabolically-undertoned project, TheLedBalloon said, "although the project appears harmless, there are definitely diabolical undertones." Another anonymous user stated, "that forum is most surely not pants." Spang himself has expressed his desire to leave behind a legacy, but he has also left open the possibility that "the entire thing is just an urban myth, and doesn't really exist." Regardless of its true meaning or intentions, Uncyclopedians continue to trudge on in their epic quest, reaching 0.075% of their goal this Monday. Editors come and go, the pace quickens and slackens, but someone is always there to figure out the next number in the sequence. At its current rate, the project will reach one million on August 19th, 2526. Until that glorious day, Uncyclopedians can only dream... Cheevers Fires Back! By An unbiased journalist After some light-hearted slights in last week's issue, Gerry Cheevers - Uncyclopedia's resident headcase and #2 hockey authority - has taken exception with the editors of this fine periodical. An ugly scene erupted in the USP press room after Gerry barged in, demanding some sort of justice. Luckily, some quick thinking by our tea-boy and current stand-in editor caused Mr. Cheevers to be distracted by a shiny object long enough to avoid any damage to our delicate newspapering equipment. After it was pointed out that he had in fact come and gone from Uncyclopedia like some sort of cow that grazes on witty satire and coherent parody, Gerry calmed down enough give a brief interview and let some of our junior reporters scratch him behind the ears. When asked about the reasons for his return, Gerry cited many things. Prominent among them were a desire to have humor play a larger role in his life once again, the thrill of writing articles, the subsequent crushing defeat after said articles have been hacked to pieces mercilessly, and his heterosexual man-crush on Mhaille. The one-time WotM nominee fell on hard times in mid-March, and went on sabbatical when his computer decided that it was not long for this world and took its own life. After that, Gerry resorted to breaking into libraries after-hours to cast VFH votes on city-owned, porn-riddled, abysmally slow dial-up computers. Luckily he landed a job in late May and has spent a majority of his time at said job slacking off and editing Uncyclopedia. Mr. Cheevers looks forward to getting back to what he is known for: mediocre writing, scathing Pee Reviews, and keeping Manforman locked up in the Uncyc dungeons. Several prominent Uncyclopedians share his optimism for a permanent return, including noted reviewing robot MrN9000, who stated that he was "willing to bet everything Cajek owns to that effect," and heavy zeppelin Don Leddy, who expressed his delight at seeing Gerry, exclaiming "gimme back my twenty dollars!"

Check out these pages! Yay! Woo! We all fail! Who judges the judges? (Apart from Zombiebaron, of course) Rock the vote? From our logs: 23:16, 19 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.254.51.48 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wow! I was gonna go the rest of my life hating Metallica, but you've opened my eyes to their true greatness! You, sir, are an hero! An hero!) 23:56, 20 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Swampgas (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (congratulations, now you can add us to your list of sites you got banned from for being a bellend) 21:53, 22 July 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) huffed "Slappy's Angels" ‎ (VFD - I throw in anotherv invisible vote to put these at -4/-5 (YEAH I'M TOO LAZY TO EDIT)) Biopic of the Week Sycamore ~ One of Uncyc's noteworthy Caledonian correspondents, Sycamore claims his prowess at writing stems from a hearty diet of haggis, neeps and tatties, washed down wi' a whisky, a can of Irn-Bru, and a gratuitous stereotype. He's managed to stay sober long enough to write quality articles on Battleship Potemkin, David Bowie and Tony Visconti, and doubtless celebrated in true Scottish fashion - with a couple of cans of Tennent's and a fight! Page of the Week (straight version) User:Optimuschris/Super Secret Girlie Page! - no explanation needed. Page of the Week (gay version) User:Orian57/Under my matress - the yin to OptyC's yang. So to speak. You have been warned. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Pisces (Feb. 19 - March. 19) - The position of Mars renders you the likely victim of pirate attacks this week. Carefully guard any grog, wenches, and booty you may have accumulated. see more horoscopes Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Italian Linux and the Crappy Translation Really Old Image Request of the Week For an UnTune. Seriously, this one has been around for ages, and no-one seems to be able to sort it out. Any takers? A certain psychotic frog will doubtless shower any helpful soul with gratitude. Or a template. Or something.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:47, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 24th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

July 24^th, 2008 • Twelfth Issue • Now On Time?

Count to a million By Gerrycheevers This week Uncyclopedians continued on their quixotic attempt to "count to a million." Started by Uncyclopedia Wiki-master and Chamber of Commerce Secretary Spang in early March of this year, the project seeks to eventually reach the number one million (1,000,000) through the ancient art of counting. Any person who is capable of taking a number, adding one to it, and expressing the result has been invited to join the massive undertaking, which has seen dozens of contributors come and go. As is always the case here at Uncyc, the project has spawned controversy, criticism, and a spin-off starring Tony Shalhoub as Olipro. The forum is an unprecedented pool of knowledge. As each number is reached, it is discussed in-depth by several Uncyclopedians. Insights such as "114 That's my age + 100 lololol" and "616 fucks fucking fucker's shitty crap" are a testament to the intellecually stimulating conversation that occurs each day. Oftentimes, relevant images are posted; the variety of these pictures can be seen by looking here, here, here, and here. However, not everyone is so optimistic about the project. Some have expressed concern that the entire thing has some kind of sinister purpose. When asked for a comment on the harmless-appearing but diabolically-undertoned project, TheLedBalloon said, "although the project appears harmless, there are definitely diabolical undertones." Another anonymous user stated, "that forum is most surely not pants." Spang himself has expressed his desire to leave behind a legacy, but he has also left open the possibility that "the entire thing is just an urban myth, and doesn't really exist." Regardless of its true meaning or intentions, Uncyclopedians continue to trudge on in their epic quest, reaching 0.075% of their goal this Monday. Editors come and go, the pace quickens and slackens, but someone is always there to figure out the next number in the sequence. At its current rate, the project will reach one million on August 19th, 2526. Until that glorious day, Uncyclopedians can only dream... Cheevers Fires Back! By An unbiased journalist After some light-hearted slights in last week's issue, Gerry Cheevers - Uncyclopedia's resident headcase and #2 hockey authority - has taken exception with the editors of this fine periodical. An ugly scene erupted in the USP press room after Gerry barged in, demanding some sort of justice. Luckily, some quick thinking by our tea-boy and current stand-in editor caused Mr. Cheevers to be distracted by a shiny object long enough to avoid any damage to our delicate newspapering equipment. After it was pointed out that he had in fact come and gone from Uncyclopedia like some sort of cow that grazes on witty satire and coherent parody, Gerry calmed down enough give a brief interview and let some of our junior reporters scratch him behind the ears. When asked about the reasons for his return, Gerry cited many things. Prominent among them were a desire to have humor play a larger role in his life once again, the thrill of writing articles, the subsequent crushing defeat after said articles have been hacked to pieces mercilessly, and his heterosexual man-crush on Mhaille. The one-time WotM nominee fell on hard times in mid-March, and went on sabbatical when his computer decided that it was not long for this world and took its own life. After that, Gerry resorted to breaking into libraries after-hours to cast VFH votes on city-owned, porn-riddled, abysmally slow dial-up computers. Luckily he landed a job in late May and has spent a majority of his time at said job slacking off and editing Uncyclopedia. Mr. Cheevers looks forward to getting back to what he is known for: mediocre writing, scathing Pee Reviews, and keeping Manforman locked up in the Uncyc dungeons. Several prominent Uncyclopedians share his optimism for a permanent return, including noted reviewing robot MrN9000, who stated that he was "willing to bet everything Cajek owns to that effect," and heavy zeppelin Don Leddy, who expressed his delight at seeing Gerry, exclaiming "gimme back my twenty dollars!"

Check out these pages! Yay! Woo! We all fail! Who judges the judges? (Apart from Zombiebaron, of course) Rock the vote? From our logs: 23:16, 19 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.254.51.48 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wow! I was gonna go the rest of my life hating Metallica, but you've opened my eyes to their true greatness! You, sir, are an hero! An hero!) 23:56, 20 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Swampgas (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (congratulations, now you can add us to your list of sites you got banned from for being a bellend) 21:53, 22 July 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) huffed "Slappy's Angels" ‎ (VFD - I throw in anotherv invisible vote to put these at -4/-5 (YEAH I'M TOO LAZY TO EDIT)) Biopic of the Week Sycamore ~ One of Uncyc's noteworthy Caledonian correspondents, Sycamore claims his prowess at writing stems from a hearty diet of haggis, neeps and tatties, washed down wi' a whisky, a can of Irn-Bru, and a gratuitous stereotype. He's managed to stay sober long enough to write quality articles on Battleship Potemkin, David Bowie and Tony Visconti, and doubtless celebrated in true Scottish fashion - with a couple of cans of Tennent's and a fight! Page of the Week (straight version) User:Optimuschris/Super Secret Girlie Page! - no explanation needed. Page of the Week (gay version) User:Orian57/Under my matress - the yin to OptyC's yang. So to speak. You have been warned. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Pisces (Feb. 19 - March. 19) - The position of Mars renders you the likely victim of pirate attacks this week. Carefully guard any grog, wenches, and booty you may have accumulated. see more horoscopes Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Italian Linux and the Crappy Translation Really Old Image Request of the Week For an UnTune. Seriously, this one has been around for ages, and no-one seems to be able to sort it out. Any takers? A certain psychotic frog will doubtless shower any helpful soul with gratitude. Or a template. Or something.

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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:47, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Charles Sumner Nom

Since VFH is looking a little bare these days, I thought I'd give Charles Sumner another go. During its last nomination, I was persuaded to give it a stay on Pee Review before nominating it again. Now it's back and better than ever.

Problem: I cannot nominate it again because apparently the article already exists and I can't edit it. Because I saw your name on the VFH history list, you're the unlucky person I thought I'd pester about this difficulty. Can you help me out? YouFang 19:25, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

That's easy enough to fix. Just put "Chaz Whatsisname(2nd nom)" in that typey boxy thing you use to nom stuff, and you should be good to go. Cheers, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:58, Jul 26

Many thanks!YouFang 03:55, 26 July 2008 (UTC)

Tony and Ludo thank you!

Splendid, what! UU would like to express his gratitude for you vote on UnMysteries:A Tissue Of Lies. Therefore, please accept a free gift of Sir John Obvious-Suspect's latest innovation - Sudoku toilet paper, for those mornings when you know you're gonna be in there ages!

I honestly thought that any of my own stuff I loved that much would never make it, so thanks for proving something-or-other to me. Also, TLB classic is back. When did that happen? I kinda liked Don Leddy, but hey, retro's good too! --UU - natter 09:26, Jul 28

Yep, I switched back a while back. I'm not really sure why, but hey! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 14:45, Jul 28

OMGOMGOMG IT'S LED

LEEEEDDD LED IT'S MEEEE I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU IN SO LONG WHAT'S GOIN' ON???   Le Cejak • <15:32, 28 Jul 2008>

Well, I just got back from St. Croix, and I'm going to see Dweezil Zappa in a week or so. Also, it's almost PLS time! Go PLS! Wooo! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 15:36, Jul 28

St. Croix. Is that US Virgin Islands? Oh, and...yeah... User:Jocke Pirat. Fuck. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 15:52, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Yep, that's the St. Croix, the shining mecca of rum paradise. And whatabout Jocke, now? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 15:57, Jul 28

I just went to St. Thomas. I have no problem with saying that it is the Prettiest place I've ever been to. I could have stayed there for a long damn while. And, just go to Jocke's userpage. Its at the top. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 16:01, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, just saw. That's a shame... Jocke was a cool guy. And yeah, the islands are really nice. I hear St. Thomas can get really crowded, though. How was it for you? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:07, Jul 28

Went in the winter, so it was just plain beautiful, and it didn't get too hot. That was good for my horribly white, ginger skin. SPF 50 rocks. I went to some out of the way beach. Not as crowded as the really popular ones, and had a really nice view. And the island daquaris are damn delicious. They knew what they were doing. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 16:17, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Ooh, sounds nice. I was a little pasty from my general computer nerdiness, so my parents insisted that I use either SPF Overkill or SPF Paranoia whenever I left the hotel. Naturally, I rarely did, and got a bit burned. Such is life! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:44, Jul 28

i always had a feeling if i ever tried to create a sig it wouldn't work

And I was right. Any idea what's wrong with this?

The reason I ask you? Because of your unparalleled admin powers and your uncanny ability to discern heartfelt compliments from insincere flattery.

No rush! --So So 04:19, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

It looks fine...what seems to be the problem? Is it doing something it's not supposed to? For the record my fonts suck, so I can't see those characters... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:23, Jul 29

The problem is this --So So 05:41, 29 July 2008 (UTC) and this --So So 05:41, 29 July 2008 (UTC) and this --So So 05:41, 29 July 2008 (UTC) . In other words, it's not functioning. If the problem isn't apparent immediately, don't worry about it, though. I was just trying it out. --So So 05:41, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Go into Special:Preferences. In the "User Profile" tab, under "Signature," tick the box that says "Raw Signature". Then, in the signature box, type {{subst:nosubst|{{User:So So/sig}}}}. Then take two of the first medication you find in your medicine cabinet and call me in the morning if you're still alive. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 06:15 Jul 29, 2008

Whoa, now I'm getting one of these things: --{{{{{1}}}}} 07:46, 29 July 2008 (UTC) I guess I was in way over my head trying to get into this sig business. I'll just take the medicine and call it a day, or a life, whichever comes first. --{{{{{1}}}}} 07:46, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

I think the doctor had too many { and }. It should look like this, in the "signature" subsection of the user profile pane of your prefs (with the "raw signature" box checked), {{SUBST:nosubst|User:So So/sig}}. S0.S0S.0S.0S0...see? Also, this isn't my talkpage. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:12, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Worked. This may not be your talkpage, but you sure take care of its guests better than its owner and this random doctor that wandered in. I think this calls for a vote.

Should this page be given to Modus as a second talkpage?

+3 better helpers

• For. --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 10:37, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
• Strong for. Led obviously can't handle the responsibility. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 14:36, Jul 29
• For, cause I know, I just know that pie's going to be involved somehow. - [22:02 29 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

What happened to Conservapedia?

I see here that you huffed it. Is there some cool backstory that I'm not aware of? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 06:10, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

I got icecream! It's hard to see the connection, buuuuut the icecream was chocolate. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 11:53, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

The lengths you guys are going to to whore your articles these days... MrN 12:19, Jul 29

Mwanw sowme iwcecwum? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:31, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

...I still don't know why they opped me... *sigh* Yeah, I think I accidentally hit Spang's dropdown deletion javascript tab thing, which used the last deletion message I used that night on Conservapedia... :/ - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 14:33, Jul 29

If it helps, when you were up for op, I voted against. Sure, I caught some flak at the time, from people who thought that my "attack" was "vicious" and "mean spirited", but I think that this whole wiki-shattering fiasco shows that I made the right decision. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 14:42, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Pfft, obviously! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 15:10, Jul 29

Practice

I saw you just put the ICU on practice. I looked it over, and its just a word-for-word copy of an Allen Iverson rant from like 6 years ago about not wanting to practice. I doubt any other changes will be made to it. Then again, I really don't care. Why am I writing this again? The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 16:01, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Ah, good call. I'll get rid of it. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:20, Jul 29

...makes perfect. - [21:47 29 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

You not, Woody, old chap? We should have sex, you and me. Good hardcore sex. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:24, Jul 30

Led, I just want you know how much I love getting off to tubgirl and lemonparty. Just wanted you to know that, baby. - [20:26 30 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Well that's just stupid, cause I'm just a worthless scumbag. If I had a wife I'd probably beat her, but I don't cause I'm a loser. You know what, I fuckin' love you. You're probably the best and most awesome thing in the whole world and I'm just a pile of droppings died green. I admire you. I lookup to you. I think you fuck with the awesome. I think you, you know what, there aren't words for you. You're the best thing in the world, no, in the universe...let alone Uncyclopedia. Please, can I have the honour of a virtual handshake? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:53, Jul 30

Stop, please! I admit it, I suck! I suck I suck I suck I suck! I'm a pitiful excuse for a somethingorother! Please forgive me for bringing my filth to your glorious talkpage! - [21:50 30 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Long talkpage is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong

Thought you ought to know. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 20:36 Jul 30, 2008

Is this some kind of a fucking penis joke? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:53, Jul 30

Well, I could not sleep...

Could you give me your input on this? I asked Lj to take a look at it also... I think this (maybe) will satisfy the issues which were raised in the Pee Review forum, and takes care of this "quick pee" thing also. MrN 03:54, Jul 31

All you changed was the wording and stuff, right? It looks fine to me. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:06, Jul 31

Yep. Users can submit by putting the "(quick)" thing after the article name, so the guys who normally give long reviews can bash something out faster. The wording about adding brief comments without using the table is also important also. That means that lots of people can add brief comments until such time as someone does a full review using the table. It means that people don't have to have bothered to read the guidelines if they just want to make some brief comments... Because of this, I think we can probably include some of the extra detail which was in the review guide before you trimmed it down. I'm not to sure about that last part though...

Also, we are going to stop using the "Pee Reserved" templates except when you are actually doing the review immediately. Do you think this takes care of all the concerns raised in the forum, and does what we are trying to do? MrN 04:28, Jul 31

Yeah, like I said, it seems good. Go ahead and copy it into the actual page if you're satisfied, and if someone has an issue they can change it or talk to you. As for the reserved templates, yeah, I'd prefer we didn't have those sitting on articles for three days before a review...it just seems like bad wiki-feng shui to me. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 05:34, Jul 31

Thank you

For welcoming me. Are you in the mafia? Waves 16:26, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Nope, but I can tell you that making ridiculous demands in the forums is not a good way to start your Uncyc career. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:30, Jul 31

You kind of messed up Em:

But you can easily fix it by adding an *ENTER* behind that title template. The problem is that that "{|" thingie should be preceded by such an *ENTER* or it should be at the start of the page. (Offcourse the text between "<!--" and "-->" doesn't count.) 84.194.239.31 08:50, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Ah, I see, thanks! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 15:46, Aug 1

A Hundred Light Years?

Oh noes, how will I ever survive without my beloved Uncyc for so long? You, sir, are a callous, heartless bastard of a balloon, and I hope that thought keeps you awake at night, riddled with guilt, racked with remorse, while I serve out my long, lonely punishment, unable to edit.... Hang on.... Crikey, time really must fly while you're playing Rock Band, huh? Quickest stretch I ever served. Well, seeing as it looks like I can edit again, there's only one thing to be done... Have another go at that fucking crap Yeah Yeah Yeahs song on Hard mode. Where's me drumsticks? --UU - natter 08:22, Aug 3

"Creative ban lengths" ftw! Ooh, and play Highway Star next! Then Run to the Hills! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:05, Aug 3

Highway Star is on Rock Band?....damn... -RAHB 13:38, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

I choose you electric rat thing!

This page is 101 kilobytes long. It may be helpful to move older discussion into an archive subpage. See wikipedia:Help:Archiving a talk page for guidance.--McWooty 10:34, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

Wow, could that have been more patronising? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:31 4 August 2008

Not my words, blame uncyc--McWooty 22:10, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

And it could have been more patronising if it said this:

This page is 101 kilobytes long. It may be helpful to get off your arse and do something about it. If you need any help young man, just click this blue text here (it's called a hyperlink) and it will send you to a page which can help, there wasn't that easy?. --McWooty 22:10, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

Very true. It was just Led here is an admin and has like 8 archives already. he knows how but for some reason isn't. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:16 4 August 2008

You both know that I'm just frightfully lazy. Frightfully! I'll get around to it eventually. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:18, Aug 4

UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

July 31^st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!

The biggest little whorehouse on the internet By Gerrycheevers Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration. While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article. Virus exposes user vulnerability to death By Regret Tenenbaum Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following: a lump in one testis or a hardening of one of the testicles The testicle should normally feel smooth to the touch. Ridges may be felt because of enlarged blood vessels or tumor growth. Additionally the entire testicle may feel hard and bumpy to the touch. Abnormal sensitivity (either numbness or pain) loss of sexual activity sexual withdrawal build-up of fluid in the scrotum a dull ache in the lower abdomen or groin an increase, or significant decrease, in the size of one testis blood in semen General weak and tired feeling The testicle with a tumor may be severely enlarged, as much as 3 times the original size. Simultaneously the other testicle may be shrunken in size, due to the tumor taking up the majority of the blood supply to the scrotum. Other nasty stuff. Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.) The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any. Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him. Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right...

Check out these pages! Ever get interrupted on the loo? Is PEEING taking the piss? Drama! From our logs: 21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.) 17:24, 24 July 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) (blocked SIR TOM CRUISE! with an expiry time of 3 months (no dear, Baha'i is the Truth, or Judaism, I can never remember) 02:34, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Dammit, stop being a sockpuppet!) 14:41, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) unblocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Oh, I bet you think you're all crafty n' shit, don'tcha? DON'TCHA! Well guess what: I can see through your ruse now, you sockpuppet-impersonating iIdunnowhat!) 21:04, 29 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.196.62.163 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wanker: Take a day off. Take some deep breaths. It's only France) Biopic of the Week The Woodburninator ~ What should thou doest upon sighting The Woodburninator? Run away, apparently. Unless you're looking to read some high quality articles. Last month's NotM has made quite an impression on Uncyclopedia in his short time here, despite claims that he is about as useful as the 5-star rating system. Don't be fooled! WB is on track to contribute far more than the ratings system (especially since the average UnSignpost rating is about 1.2), and then some. Just don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage... Old-school featured article of the week Check out Moon hoax. Ever been told by one of your know-it all friends that we never landed on the moon, and it was all staged on a set in the desert? Well, after reading this article, you should be prepared to thoroughly debunk your narrow-minded chum. Just be sure that you wager heavily on 'we went to the moon' before you start explaining. This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 7/28/08 Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - You will learn the true meaning of Christmas after much embarrassment and the intervention of a friend with a dictionary. see more horoscopes Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Russian Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol and the Crappy Translation. Quotes of the Week <DrSkullthumper> Goatse is work safe if you're a proctologist <AAA^> "Muslim Porn: Women revealing their hair"

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 07:57, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

July 31^st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!

The biggest little whorehouse on the internet By Gerrycheevers Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration. While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article. Virus exposes user vulnerability to death By Regret Tenenbaum Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following: a lump in one testis or a hardening of one of the testicles The testicle should normally feel smooth to the touch. Ridges may be felt because of enlarged blood vessels or tumor growth. Additionally the entire testicle may feel hard and bumpy to the touch. Abnormal sensitivity (either numbness or pain) loss of sexual activity sexual withdrawal build-up of fluid in the scrotum a dull ache in the lower abdomen or groin an increase, or significant decrease, in the size of one testis blood in semen General weak and tired feeling The testicle with a tumor may be severely enlarged, as much as 3 times the original size. Simultaneously the other testicle may be shrunken in size, due to the tumor taking up the majority of the blood supply to the scrotum. Other nasty stuff. Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.) The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any. Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him. Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right...

Check out these pages! Ever get interrupted on the loo? Is PEEING taking the piss? Drama! From our logs: 21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.) 17:24, 24 July 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) (blocked SIR TOM CRUISE! with an expiry time of 3 months (no dear, Baha'i is the Truth, or Judaism, I can never remember) 02:34, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Dammit, stop being a sockpuppet!) 14:41, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) unblocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Oh, I bet you think you're all crafty n' shit, don'tcha? DON'TCHA! Well guess what: I can see through your ruse now, you sockpuppet-impersonating iIdunnowhat!) 21:04, 29 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.196.62.163 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wanker: Take a day off. Take some deep breaths. It's only France) Biopic of the Week The Woodburninator ~ What should thou doest upon sighting The Woodburninator? Run away, apparently. Unless you're looking to read some high quality articles. Last month's NotM has made quite an impression on Uncyclopedia in his short time here, despite claims that he is about as useful as the 5-star rating system. Don't be fooled! WB is on track to contribute far more than the ratings system (especially since the average UnSignpost rating is about 1.2), and then some. Just don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage... Old-school featured article of the week Check out Moon hoax. Ever been told by one of your know-it all friends that we never landed on the moon, and it was all staged on a set in the desert? Well, after reading this article, you should be prepared to thoroughly debunk your narrow-minded chum. Just be sure that you wager heavily on 'we went to the moon' before you start explaining. This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 7/28/08 Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - You will learn the true meaning of Christmas after much embarrassment and the intervention of a friend with a dictionary. see more horoscopes Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Russian Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol and the Crappy Translation. Quotes of the Week <DrSkullthumper> Goatse is work safe if you're a proctologist <AAA^> "Muslim Porn: Women revealing their hair"

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 07:58, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

July 31^st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!

The biggest little whorehouse on the internet By Gerrycheevers Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration. While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article. Virus exposes user vulnerability to death By Regret Tenenbaum Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following: a lump in one testis or a hardening of one of the testicles The testicle should normally feel smooth to the touch. Ridges may be felt because of enlarged blood vessels or tumor growth. Additionally the entire testicle may feel hard and bumpy to the touch. Abnormal sensitivity (either numbness or pain) loss of sexual activity sexual withdrawal build-up of fluid in the scrotum a dull ache in the lower abdomen or groin an increase, or significant decrease, in the size of one testis blood in semen General weak and tired feeling The testicle with a tumor may be severely enlarged, as much as 3 times the original size. Simultaneously the other testicle may be shrunken in size, due to the tumor taking up the majority of the blood supply to the scrotum. Other nasty stuff. Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.) The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any. Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him. Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right...

Check out these pages! Ever get interrupted on the loo? Is PEEING taking the piss? Drama! From our logs: 21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.) 17:24, 24 July 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) (blocked SIR TOM CRUISE! with an expiry time of 3 months (no dear, Baha'i is the Truth, or Judaism, I can never remember) 02:34, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Dammit, stop being a sockpuppet!) 14:41, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) unblocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Oh, I bet you think you're all crafty n' shit, don'tcha? DON'TCHA! Well guess what: I can see through your ruse now, you sockpuppet-impersonating iIdunnowhat!) 21:04, 29 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.196.62.163 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wanker: Take a day off. Take some deep breaths. It's only France) Biopic of the Week The Woodburninator ~ What should thou doest upon sighting The Woodburninator? Run away, apparently. Unless you're looking to read some high quality articles. Last month's NotM has made quite an impression on Uncyclopedia in his short time here, despite claims that he is about as useful as the 5-star rating system. Don't be fooled! WB is on track to contribute far more than the ratings system (especially since the average UnSignpost rating is about 1.2), and then some. Just don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage... Old-school featured article of the week Check out Moon hoax. Ever been told by one of your know-it all friends that we never landed on the moon, and it was all staged on a set in the desert? Well, after reading this article, you should be prepared to thoroughly debunk your narrow-minded chum. Just be sure that you wager heavily on 'we went to the moon' before you start explaining. This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 7/28/08 Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - You will learn the true meaning of Christmas after much embarrassment and the intervention of a friend with a dictionary. see more horoscopes Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Russian Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol and the Crappy Translation. Quotes of the Week <DrSkullthumper> Goatse is work safe if you're a proctologist <AAA^> "Muslim Porn: Women revealing their hair"

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 07:59, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

From Ethine:

You are an asshole. Someday, WILL get you back for that. Just wait. Love,  

My opinion matters

Thank you for the VFHS thing, Led!

P.S. LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDD!!!!   Le Cejak • <20:35, 06 Aug 2008>

Ugh

Stop killing my browser you murderer!--McWooty 22:34, 6 August 2008 (UTC)

Death toll now at 103 kilobytes

Hi Sir Led Ballon! -- Nigga Home Girl

Hi SirLedBallon, I think you Rock!! And I like all of the Forums you Write! (Lol, Im a Fangirl)

Um I have a question, Do You Watch Happy Tree Friends? Cause It's a Black Comedy. Tee-Heh! n_n -- From: NiggaHomeGirl

Aww, TheLedBalloon has a fan. ^_^ - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 21:03, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Uhh........................................................ - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:40, Aug 8

OMG! Do you take requests Led?! FREEEEEBIIIIIRRRRRD!!!! -RAHB 21:41, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

I actually do take requests, but it'll cost you. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:44, Aug 8

ZOMG LED I LOVE YOU I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!!!!!1! -Rabid Fangirl 21:46, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Nuh-uh, I'm having my own babies! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:55, Aug 8

NiggaHomeGirl:

BACK OFF BITCHES, HE MINE!!!! D:< (lol, Just Kidding!XD)

I'll fight you to the death for him. With flamethrowers. -RAHB 22:05, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Any idiot can fight with a flamethrower. Let's have a fight with blenders. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:07, Aug 8

Flaming blenders? -RAHB 22:09, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Is there any other kind? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:20, Aug 8

Ew, Gay Blenders?! The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 22:47, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Is there any other kind? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:49, Aug 8

Soul blenders, but that's another story. -RAHB 22:53, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

NiggaHomeGirl: Oh Yeah! Well I'll Use A Neuclear Powered War Bazooka!*Uses Bazooka and Blasts RAHB Head Clean Off!* YAY! I PWNED YOU BITCH!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!1212122111 (Kidding! :D)

Any Way I Made this for you Sir Led Ballon: ┏┫　┏┓　┏┓　┣┓　　　　┃┃ ┗┫　　　┃　　　┣┛　┏━━┻┃You ROCK! 　┃　┗━━━┛　┃　　┣━━　┃#1 in my Book 　┗━━━┳━━━┛　　┣━━　┃ultimate SirLedBallon fangirl -- From Yours Truly:♥NiggaHomeGirl♥

Aww, that's so sweet. If only I could see what it was. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:18, Aug 8

NiggaHomeGirl: Uh, LedBallon It's Supposed to Be A Picture of a Girl giving you a thumbs Up! :)

Isn't it obvious Led? It's a bunch of boxes with numbers in them. Duh! -RAHB 23:35, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

NiggaHomeGirl: Heh, Yeah! ^_^

Yeah, my font sucks, so I can't see these: 　　 - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:28, Aug 9

NiggaHomeGirl: It's Ok! :D

Wow......this.....this is somethin' alright. Yeah...... Mr. Fundlenugget MacBergstone 05:40, 9 August 2008 (UTC)

Say hi

In the name of the Emperor, answer me!

Dancing coconut say hi!--McWooty 12:48, 9 August 2008 (UTC)

*Sigh...* Very well, I shall begin the archiving process. But if you edit conflict me, so help me Jeebus.... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:50, Aug 9