UnTunes:I Am The Very Model of a Crazy Fundamentalist
[Duet]
I am the very model of a crazy fundamentalist
My modus operandi ain't one of the very gentle -est
I'll rant and shout, my venom spout in terms uncategorical
'Cause I can't tell the Earth from Hell or real from allegorical
[Duet]
I try to stop all equal op-portunity for woman-kind
That's not to say I'm really a misogynist, just dumb-an'-blind
My arguments don't make much sense to anyone who's logical
And scientists? Well, they can kiss my astrotheological
[Congregation]
Yes scientists, they can go kiss his astrotheological
Yes he will diss the scientists in language scatological
He'll take the piss of scientists by speaking loads of dodgy bull
[Duet]
I'll damn to hell the Infidel for such is my propensity
For demagogues I'll sin, agog, whipped up so very frenziedly
Of over-hyped sub-mental types, you'd say that I'm the mental-est
I am a quite fanatical religious fundamentalist
[Congregation]
Of all the very mental types, damn right he is the mental-est
A really sick and fanatic religious fundamentalist
[Duet]
I only look at holy books - God's word shall fill my cranium
Inside my mind all you will find's a tal-muddled Koranium
I often gloat that it is wrote in language so poetical
If you imply it's not, then I denounce you as heretical
[Duet]
When burning flags and burning fags my pulse-rate is a-quickening
But bodies bare and turbanned hair I find extremely sikhening
Can't be denied that suicide in God's name is worth trying for
And half a gross (an overdose) of virgins is worth dying for
[Congregation]
Yes, half a gross an overdose of virgins is worth dying for
He's ne'er been close to half a gross of virgins and he's dying for
An overdose of being gross with virgins that he's dying for
[Duet]
I have to hate the apostate because my cleric says it's planned
There's no excuse, one's faith to lose and anyone who does is damned
And therefore I will always try extremely to prevent all this
I'm not a very moderate religious fundamentalist
[Congregation]
We think that he is so silly in trying to prevent all this
He is, we state, immoderate religious fundamentalist
[Duet]
If I could take on real debate not simply quoting holy texts
Or now and then show indepen-dent thought not the same ol' pretexts
If I'd admit it isn't lit-eral described infernal fires
If I could show I really know God's will and not my own desires
If I'd not rant, be tolerant and never more proselytise
That atheists and gay-theists are Satanism in disguise
If I were sane, using my brain for cogitating, mentally
You'd say this fundamentalist had altered fundamentally
[Congregation]
If he were sane, using his brain - yes altered fundamentally
Let us explain less mental pain - he would be changed hindubitably
No more "deranged", he would be changed so very fundamentally
[Duet]
But I extol the wholly hol-y - I'm a quite repelling pest
I think the rule should be in school for regular gos-spelling tests
And in the streets you'll hear me preach, my views the very sensiblest
I am a very biased and relig-i-ous fundamentalist
[Congregation]
And in the streets you'll hear him preach, his views the reprehensiblest
He's, as we said, a bigoted religious fundamentalist
Sadly, despite being rather catchy, Osama Bin Laden and Fred Phelps' foray into the music industry was a complete failure.
