Babel:OW

Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 41,026 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse: Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...

Another Oscar Wilde picture. From: Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article CaseOh (Celestial Anomaly of Stellar Enormity and Omnivorous Hunger) is a supermassive celestial object of indeterminate classification, predominantly suspected to be either a rogue star or a cluster of galaxies—or just maybe the interdimensional vortex first caught wind of in May 1998. Physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer famously theorised CaseOh to be supplied entirely by AC/DC (agglomerated/devoured comestible) power several months prior to his death in 2023, although other hypotheses regarding its increasing mass are widespread. CaseOh's exact mass is approximated to exceed 247 ronnagrams, and "clairvoyant" astrophysicists at NASA presume a supermassive black hole to thence manifest within succeeding decades. (Full article...) Recently featured: Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? John Marshall You Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. More of Oscar's picks edit Why was I born with such contemporaries? February 26: Famous Last Words Day 323 BC - “You assholes better not split up my Empire right after I die.” – Alexander the Great 1642 - “Sticking up for your beliefs ain't worth it kids.” – Galileo Galilei 1900 - “I should probably say something clever and biting yet also moving and oh shit my spleen.” – Oscar Wilde 1945 - “I can't move my legs, oh God I can't move my legs! Nah, I'm just fucking with you.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt 1955 - “Oh Scheiße, meine windel ist voll! Oh Gott, ich spüre, wie die wässrigen Poop-Flüssigkeiten meine hose hinunterrinnen.” – Albert Einstein 1963 - “Feels kinda stuffy, let's take down the roof of the car, will ya?” – John F. Kennedy 1968 - “Maybe there's still hope for white people after all.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. 1994 - “I still don't get why they called me tricky dick. My name's Richard, not tricky.” – Richard Nixon 2001 - “Goddamnit, maybe that seatbelt was a good idea after all.” – Dale Earnhardt 2025 - “Alright, time to pull out this pack of ciggies-- now, which kind of petrol did I need?” – You The history of the United Kingdom	edit The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it. He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico Today in London edit It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know... From Uncyclopedia's playwrights: ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured) ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet? ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno? ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives? Read on
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This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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