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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 38,289 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

Browse:

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Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...


Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

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Glorious Turkmenistan was one of the poultry republics that broke away from the USSR and, despite what partial nations claim, it has a long and glorious history; as long and glorious as that of Germany or the Ottoman Empire. Turkmenistan was the predecessor state to the Turkmen Empire before Turkmenistan won the Tatar War. The Tatar War was a large scale conflict where Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow used horses to remake the Mongol Empire. Unhindered by his physical death on December 22, 2006, Turkmenistan continues to be ruled by Glorious President-for-life-and-afterlife Saparmurat Niyazov known locally as the Turkmenbashi or Great Leader of the Turkmen. It is Niyazov who made Turkmenistan the best nation the world has ever known during the happy years of his mortal presence as Glorious President. (Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

Uh oh... Government go boom.

November 5: Remember, remember, the fifth of November: Explode The Government Day (Britain)

  • 1605 - The Parliament building fails to explode.
  • 1854 - Anonymous inventor skinned while testing early hydraulic barber chair.
  • 1900 - Despite widespread panic and rumors in proposition, Big Ben doesn't explode, but the Prime Minister does.
  • 1984 - Despite the Brotherhood's efforts, Big Brother is not wounded in a suicide bombing. Lets thank him for increasing our chocolate to 20 grams!
  • 1987 - Margaret Thatcher's imminent Silent But Deadly reaches critical mass and explodes in her intestine.
  • 2022 - Some guy wearing a mask in London blows some shit up, rioting doesn't ensue (it's England NOT France)


The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


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For the first time in years, no US presidential candidate has obtained a single [electoral] vote.

Ongoing: Eurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael-Hamas conflictUnited States presidential electionAaron Rodgers screwing over the New York Jets • The New York Yankees' World Series win drought, courtesy of the Dodgers
Recent deaths: Liam Payne • The chances of a One Direction reunion • Yahya SinwarPhil LeshEurovision Song ContestQuincy JonesThe Most Mysterious Song on the Internet
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir PutinKate Middleton • Your fantasy football team's playoff chances • Noam ChomskyGoogle as a monopoly • Coldplay


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that there is one imposter among us?


Read on

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

Protected by Oscar's wit, and an elite clan of peasantry.