Babel:OW

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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 35,609 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

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As you are doubtlessly well aware, gypsies have been reading tea leaves for years with amazingly accurate results. Much like the reading of tea leaves, scatomancy studies the size, arrangement, colour, and interaction of bowel movements in the toilet bowl to predict secrets of the future, and give guidance to major life decisions. Now, through the marvels of technology, you can brush up on your ancient clairvoyant skills in the privacy of your very own commode! What will happen today? Is romance just around the corner? Will I get that promotion? All of these answers can truly come from 'within yourself'.

In the past, seers would attempt to peer into the future by means of lots of methods. Some of the most popular methods would involve Cleromancy: the scattering of objects, such as dice, or rocks, and interpreting the results according to set principles. Scryomancy denotes divination by means of a bowl. Scatomancy, in this sense, is a form of scryomancy, for it also makes use of a bowl. (Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

"No, seriously. Who is he?"

December 7: Official Who The Hell Is Spartacus Day

  • No, I'm Spartacus!
  • I'm Spartacus!
  • No, I am!
  • 1555 - The search for Spartacus continues.
  • 1982 - Mr T (not pictured) claims in his autobiography "Pity the Fool" that he was Spartacus. Historians refute this claim.
  • 2005 - Uncyclopedia becomes littered with Spartacus jokes.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


Dragnet reboot 'Black Friday' to debut Friday


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:


Read on

Recent witticisms


Recently published | Requested | Lacking | The brevity of wit | Lost scribblings | Consult your peers

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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