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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 35,346 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

wilde.jpg

Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

Greatbritain10.jpg

There have been many Histories of Great Britain. Readily available are Winston Churchill's A History of the English-Speaking Peoples (Except the Irish), David Starkey's Downton Abbey: The Prequel or Simon Schama's famous BBC television series Me History o'Britain. This isn't like those histories of the world's most famous island archipelago. This history is completely true and honest and free from sinister political bias or the unsettling hand of Her Majesty's censors. If you are a mincing effeminate or pearl-clutching old lady called Elizabeth, you might want to look away now. Too late! Read on!

Great Britain (or as it is officially known, The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, The Low Tax Islands, the No Tax Islands, Rockall, Gibraltar, Britland etc.), sometimes known as What's The Matter With Britain?, is an ancient island state located just off the coast of France. On a clear day in Calais, you can see the Off-White Cliffs of Dover welcoming unwary visitors like a row of vagrant's teeth. (Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

Look mom!! Look!! Look!!

August 21: International "Look over there!" Day

  • 4002 BCE - Adam and Eve become aware of their nakedness; Eve asks Adam why he is staring at her breasts. Adam shouts "Look over there!" and runs away, thus inventing The Oldest Trick in the Book.
  • 3998 BCE - Adam tells Eve her shoelaces are untied and flicks her in the nose, thus inventing The Second-Oldest Trick in the Book.
  • 27 - Jesus says he sees a giant killer land shark, uses the distraction to grab many loaves and fishes from his wagon.
  • 1458 - A small child in London shouts "Look, a duck!" whilst pointing in the air to buy himself enough time to rob the city while the population is staring pointlessly at the sky.
  • 1831 - While picking cotton, Nat Turner shouts "Look at all those abolitionists!" and runs away, successfully escaping slavery.
  • 1832 - Nat Turner hanged.
  • 1911 - Louvre employee remarks "My stars, what is that," steals Mona Lisa.
  • 1940 - Leon Trotsky is killed with a pickaxe in Mexico. His last name reminds me of a horse.
  • 1959 - President Dwight D. Eisenhower exclaims "That woman is topless!", signs Hawaii into statehood while everyone is distracted.
  • 1967 - Carrie-Anne Moss distracts mother long enough to escape from uterus.
  • 1976 - Korean War: Operation Paul Bunyan takes place. An American invasion force is distracted when North Koreans yell "Look at that giant tree," causing angry Marines to forget their mission and focus on chopping it down.
  • 1995 - Monica Lewinsky screams "Oh no, a vast right-wing conspiracy," fellates Bill Clinton while he's looking around exclaiming "Where? Where?"
  • 2003 - Edna Turnington of Gloucestershire purchases seven pounds of ground beef.
  • 2010 - HOLY CRAP THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER ON THE WALL BEHIND YOU!

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


Coyote $21,000 in debt
Meep meep.


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:


Read on

Recent witticisms


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This Month's Wit

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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