Babel:OW

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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 36,267 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

Surgical-Face-Mask.jpg

Triste et malum est is a poem written by doctor poet Wilfred Owen during COVID-19. The Latin title is taken from Pandemus 20.19 (Plague) of the Roman poet Moronicus and means "it is sad and bad". It is followed by ex covid mori, which means "to die from covid". One of Owen's most renowned works, the poem is known for its horrific imagery of a coronavirus patient.

The text presents a vignette from the travellers returning to the UK at an airport; specifically, of repatriated British from Wuhan hearing a cough from a suspected patient. In the rush after the cough is heard, one traveller is unable to get his mask on in time. The speaker of the poem describes the gruesome effects of the virus on a man and concludes that, if one were to see first-hand the reality of coronavirus, one might not be so keen to attend luxury cruises and corona parties. These horrors are what inspired Owen to write the poem, and because he did, he was able to voice his own opinion on the stupidity of anti-vaxxers, and what it was like to be in those very situations.(Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

"Caesar, it's the middle of January, there's no more fireworks!"

January 13: Julius Caesar's New Year's Eve

  • 45 BC - Julius Caesar celebrates New Year's thirteen days late, after everyone else is already done with that sort of thing, angering the Senate. (Pictured)
  • 1610 - Galileo Galilei discovers the fourth satellite of Jupiter, but initially confuses it for a hemorrhoid.
  • 1942 - Henry Ford gets a patent for his new automobile, which is 50% more Nazi than regular cars.
  • 1996 - Annie Lennox accidentally breaks wind near a microphone, is immediately awarded two Grammys and a BRIT award.
  • 1998 - Gay activist sets himself on fire in St. Peter's Square to protest the Catholic Church's condemnation of self-immolation.
  • 2012 - Cruise ship Costa Concordia tips over on its side after a celebrity cooking class puts cream on their pasta carbonara.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


January 6, 2021


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?


Read on

Recent witticisms


Recently published | Requested | Lacking | The brevity of wit | Lost scribblings | Consult your peers

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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