Babel:OW

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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 37,158 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

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So, would you like to learn how to write lyrics like The Decemberists' frontman Colin Meloy? The correct answer is obviously "yes". All of The Decemberists' songs are very well-written, and read like great works of literature, and are much better than anything you could ever come up with. They're also much, much better than those mainstream pop-rock crap that they call music nowadays. Crap which you probably like, and sing along to sometimes, am I right? I hereby scorn at your inferior tastes and even more inferior intellect. I am so much better than you, I just know it. This fact is also evident in the jeans that I am wearing, which are not just skinny, but extra skinny.

That does not mean I am a hipster, though, contrary to what you might think. They are superficial, pretentious scumbags that I do not associate with, even though they have a habit of showing up at all the bars and art galleries that I go to. For your information, most of them are not even indie enough to have heard of the bands I listen to. This is as close as you can get to learning how to write like a true master of indie. As I impart my wisdom to you, I'm also slowly stroking my beard, and it helps if you have one too. You know beards can help you think deeply and on many different levels, and therefore write better lyrics. You should seriously attempt to get one. (Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

January 20: Act Like You Care About Politics Day


The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


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Gina Lollobrigida 1927 – 2023


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:


Read on

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,158 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!


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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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