Babel:OW

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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 36,025 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

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The List of one letter words starting with A is a list of one letter words starting with A. First compiled by Samuel L. Johnson in 1756 and published on February 14, 1759, it was intended as the first part of a follow-up to his better known Dictionary, but the "List of one letter words starting with A" was the only part published before Johnson's death in 1784. It is considered one of the classic texts of the English language. Remarkably, Johnson managed to complete this list singlehandedly, with only clerical assistance to help with his research into opium dens and households of negotiable affection.

There had been previous lists of one letter words starting with A written in Latin, French, Ebonics and COBOL prior to Johnson. While evidence exists that "Ae Liste of Words of Onne Letter Begynning With A" had been written in 1066 by Harold II, it is considered neither as comprehensive nor definitive as Johnson's list, and rather one-eyed in its presentation. Other attempts to compile a list of one letter words starting with A have been noted throughout history, many of them plagued with sabotage, theft, intense rivalry between co-authors, and in one severe case the death of all involved and half the population of Scotland. Noah Webster's "An American list of one letter words starting with A" was published several years later, but is considered derivative at best. (Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

August 11: Sexual Harassment In The Workplace Day

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  • 1492 - Alexander VI is elected Pope. He becomes known for making lewd and improper suggestions to the cardinals.
  • 1858 - The First ascent of the Eiger. After this ascent, an Eiger Counter keeps track.
  • 1966 - John Lennon holds a press conference apologizing for stating that the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus." He clarifies, "I meant to say we were more popular than Mohammed."
  • 1969 - The first men land on the moon. While collecting moon rocks, Neil Armstrong "accidentally" rubs up against Buzz Aldrin.
  • 1972 - The last United States ground combat unit departs South Vietnam. Says an Army spokesman, "Thank goodness we've learned our lesson! No more pointless guerilla wars without an exit strategy for us!"
  • 1993 - President Bill Clinton takes interest in the new White House secretary.
  • 2004 - Bill O'Reilly makes several drunken phone calls. He later wakes up to discover that he is the now the Democratic Representative for New Hampshire, and president of the international Gay and Lesbian Alliance.
  • 2006 - Harry Whittington declines to play naked Twister with Dick Cheney. Instead, the two embark on a quail hunt where Dick shoots Harry, claiming it was an accident.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


Biden selects Strong Woman as running mate
"I'm a woman, yes. I'm strong. I'm Strong Woman."


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:


Read on

Recent witticisms


Recently published | Requested | Lacking | The brevity of wit | Lost scribblings | Consult your peers

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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