|Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.
Oscar's Chosen Article
McDonald's is a chain of restaurants that serves "fusty food". Their menu includes hamburgers, french fries (Put mayo on mine, please!), chicken, milkshakes, and other marvelous synthetic products of dubious ingredients. Recently, after protests by flat-earthers, McDonald's has added "healthy food" such as salads and fruits. Extensive testing and reformulation successfully made them as greasy and bad for the body as the rest of the menu.
McDonald's has locations all over the world, and is coming soon to the rest of the universe. There is no place without a McDonald's there, or at least nearby; they have become as common as air pollution and the girl next door. The chain's strategy is to achieve a single monopoly where people have no choice but to eat every meal there. Corporate training consists of re-running the movie WALL-E. (Full article...)
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Why was I born with such contemporaries?
The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...
From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
This Month's Wit
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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