Babel:OW
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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 41,074 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse:
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres... | Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
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Oscar's Chosen Article I just can't stand it. When I see her I can only grit my teeth and clench my fists as hard as I can from jumping out and screaming "I love you!" at the top of my lungs. I literally have to bite down on my tongue, sometimes until it bleeds or else I'll lose control and caress her with kisses until the end of the world. She's just so beautiful. Not in that supermodel Barbie doll way. She's legitimately beautiful. The supermodels put on make up and dress up and get air brushed so they can look like her. She doesn't need that shit, she's wonderful on her own. "Mr. Wales, you have a visitor." It's my secretary. I tell her to let her in, I already know who it is. I asked her to come to my office so we could talk. Not about work or anything, just... talk. I know it's against office policy but I just want to see her again. That gorgeous, naïve smile, those huge, innocent eyes that seemed to take in the world so carefully. Her body was small, delicate, as if the slightest breeze would shatter her like a glass rose. I could never stop thinking about her. Never. She was always on my mind. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. Why was I born with such contemporaries? February 14: Singles Drink Free Today Only
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The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
 1977-2026
Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • Seattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day Recent deaths: Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
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Recent witticisms
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This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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