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Recently a debate aired on ABC's Nightline pitting popular theists, Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, against two reviled atheists from the "Rational" Response Squad, which is also reviled. This testifies to the growing number (30 million people) of fools who profess there is no God. Add to that what I believe is possibly three times that number of functional atheists, those who believe in a God but don't show it (as True Christians® do, by voting Republican, wearing little American flag pins and putting Jesus fish on the tailgates of their pickup trucks), and patriotic Americans in America are facing a new religious horizon in which atheism is becoming a formidable foe.
Shockingly, although the majority of Americans continue to claim to be Christians, a Gallup poll discovered that forty-five percent of the population would support an atheist for President. Such a survey is a clear indication that the secularization of our Christian nation is alive and well. Secularization, if you are not aware, will signal the end of America as we know it. For example, soon the secular government, blinded by their lack of common Christian decency, will (as they did with public schools) banish the Bible from the White House, before banning it in church and eventually outlawing it in your very own home! Will real Americans continue to stand for this outrage? I pray to the Lord, no. (Full article...)
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DID U KNOE...
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- ... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that you just lost the Game?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
 - ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
- ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
- ... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
 - ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
- ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
 - ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
- ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
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In the news
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ON DIS DAI...
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March 20: Procrasturbation Day
- 1602 - The Dutch East India company is founded, paving the way for the trade of such goods as sugar, spices, human slaves, and additional sugar.
- 1815 - After escaping from his exile in Elba using cheese, cocked berets, and other French sterotypes, Napoleon Bonaparte begins his "Hundred Days" Rule.
- 1833 - Honest Jim starts his career out by selling his grandfather's false teeth back to him at nine times their original value.
- 1852 - Hariet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin was published, setting racial equality back about seventy-five years.
- 1883 - Eleven counties signed the Paris Convention for the Protection of Industrial Property, strictly outlawing the trade of ideas, dreams.
- 1914 - The first international Figure Skating World Championships take place in Connecticut. The losers maintain their dignity.
- 1984 - Dungeons & Dragons hits a new high note with the introduction of the Stock Broker playable character set, including Briefcase of Monotony and +2 Ballpoint Pen.
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| COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
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For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.
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