Babel:Lolcat

TEH CONTENT-FREE ENCYCLOPEDIA DAT ANY1 CAN EDIT.

41,064 articles in English

BEGINNERS GUIDE · TEH HOOJ 5 · STYLE · QUESHUNS · HALP · DONASHUNS

KATEGORIEZ · FEATURD CONTENT · A-Z INDEX

Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.

Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.

Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!

Hold on...

Why is my hair roller in here?

Wait...

This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?

Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.

Just a minute...

WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

DID U KNOE...

... that Sapplerx is a cannibal? (Pictured)

... that Big Bird was the guest of honor on a special Thanksgiving episode of Sesame Street? (Pictured)

... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
…that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?

... that Orangutang94 is a cannibal? (Pictured)

... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... the muffin man?

... that the The Antipodean Gallery of Post-Modern Art will play host to some of Pau Pei's most groundbreaking works of concentric art? (Pictured)

... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA

... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)

... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?
... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!

... that Cafeteria food (Pictured) is not generally edible?

... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?

... I burning your dog? (Pictured)

... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?

TEH ARCHIV – SUGGEST NEW ENTRIEZ

In the news
"Come! Come support my tacky AI website!" Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (Pictured; this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths*: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy* (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) • Melania Trump's big movie star career Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about UNNEWS – RADIO FREE LUNCH
ON DIS DAI...
February 21: Put Off Learning a Foreign Language Day 1848 - Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels publish The Communist Manifesto, 100 billion people instantly die. 1918 - The last Carolina Parakeet dies after calling the local constable a cracker. (Pictured) 1948 - Lazy people create NASCAR to have a sport where you can sit the whole time. 1952 - Winston Churchill wonders how he can get away with being such a flaming racist. 1965 - Malcom X is assassinated by the Nation of Islam, which is a real Nation of Islam sort of thing to do. 2017 - You uninstall the Duolingo app on your phone after you can't commit to 15 minutes of learning Spanish a day. Ay pobrecito. VIEW 2MORROW – MOAR ANNIVERSARIEZ...
COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP, AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

A qualified medical practitioner demonstrates the Skullthumping diagnosis technique.

Image credit: RAHB
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

edit
RESENT ARTICLEZ

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

UNCYCLOPEDIAS SISTR PROJECTZ

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

UNCYCLOPEDIA LANGUAGEZ

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,064 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including French!:

	Uncyclopedia English United States 41,064	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
	Désencyclopédie Français France 8936	Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400	偽基百科正體中文 Taiwan 6417	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 6330	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 7300
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 6303	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3132	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 275	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 105	伪基百科汉语 China 8269
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2187	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 46	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 6054	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4563	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 762	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 976	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 943	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 4	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 1
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9095	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2497	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 4	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 8	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 17
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2812	Celwyddoniadur Cymraeg Wales 103	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 10	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 19	Kengencyclopedia Lëtzebuergesch Luxembourg 7
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 456	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 31	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 175
	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Belgium and Holland 2807	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 21	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3530	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1888	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1731
	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 234	Neciclopedie Română Romania 167	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 4	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1117	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4466
	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14
	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.