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My dog, Buddy, is the worst. He's just terrible. Don't vote for my dog! Don't vote for this article. It shouldn't be featured on any encyclopedia. It doesn't align with our website's values. I'll explain everything...
Reasons not to vote for Buddy:
- He's gay.
- He's a yeast infected cunt.
- He hates America.
I don't make these kinds of remarks lightly. I have both edited enhanced photos and logic to back up my statements. I'm not saying any of the above things are bad. They aren't in an of themselves. It's just he is the most extreme radical version of all of these things and this article, under no circumstances should be featured because of it. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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DID U KNOE...
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- ... that the Angel of Death is after you? (Pictured)
- ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
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In the news
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ON DIS DAI...
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December 1: Sherlock Holmes Day
- 2 - Advent calendars invented. In pre-chocolate Eurasia, children open doors to reveal grains of sand.
- 1887 - Sherlock Holmes appears for the first time in a dazzling sheer white silk tafetta evening gown, creating an instant sensation throughout the Victorian world.
- 1891 - Holmes is killed by Professor Moriarty, brought back three years later in "Arthur Conan Doyle Needs Money."
- 1897 - Holmes disappears over Switzerland's Reichenbach Falls, only to reappear three years later on the northern shoals of Lake Lugano as a giant squid.
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| COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
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For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.
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WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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UNCYCLOPEDIA LANGUAGEZ
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