Babel:Lolcat

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Tenetposter.jpeg

Tenet is a 2020 sci-fi action wtf film written and directed by Christopher Nolan. The film, which is definitely not Inception, stars the dude from BlacKkKlansman, the heartthrob that all the girls love from Twilight, that Australian chick who played Princess Di on The Crown, Michael Caine (of course), and a few other good actors that you like and will recognize but can't name off the top of your head. The film follows a former CIA agent who, well, it's like really complicated, even by Christopher Nolan's standards. (Full article...)

DID U KNOE...

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  • ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
  • ...that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
  • ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval?
  • ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
  • ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?

In the news

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"...at least panda meat doesn't give you autism!" ‑RFK Jr.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Hollow Knight: Silksong, and Deltarune Chapter 3Eurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrantsTaylor Swift's very unlucky, no good yearDOGE firings and budget cuts • Myanmar earthquakeTornadoes shredding the American South • Post-apocalyptic streaming movies starring Stranger Things actors • Disney fans re-watching the original Snow White to forget the remake

Recent deaths: SkypeKingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensionsSpace GhostTesla's stock • Bob RiversMeghan Markle's Netflix show • The Electric State • Kurt from Good BurgerGeorge Foreman23andMeSnow Broke and the 9-figure loss for DisneyBruce GloverRichard ChamberlainRoger Daltrey's eyesight and hearingVal Kilmer

Upcoming deaths: Luigi MangioneYoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedomKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEI, for better or for worsePope Francis • Meghan Markle's remaining likeability • Your March Madness bracket and bank accountTornado Alley • Somebody from The Rugrats Movie

ON DIS DAI...

The Rite of Spring, you had to read the alt text to get it didn't you

April 3: Vivaldi Appreciation Day

  • 1220 - Rampaging crusaders drive a trebuchet through the walls of two towers in Ancient Syria.
  • 1666 - Sir Marquis Baron Vivaldi walks to the crossroad and sells his soul to Satan
  • 1888 - Vivaldi composes new record "A Change of Four Seasons", inspired by regressive metal band Dream Theater.
  • 1945 - Scientists discover that if you play John Cage's 4'33" backward you'll hear someone cough, but backwards.
  • 1974 - Tornadoes sweep the U.S.A, inspiring the invention of the tumble drier.
  • 1986 - D.J. murder rate at all-time high, blamed on the provocative lyrics of The Smiths.
  • 1996 - Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, is arrested for crimes against tasteful nomenclature, and killing like six people.


COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

Jarhead
A WWI-era Jarhead recruiting poster helped to bring many new recruits into the beloved US Marine Corps.

Image credit: One-eyed_Jack
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images


RESENT ARTICLEZ

MOAR RESENT ARTICLEZ | MOST WANTD PAGEZ | REQUESTD REWRITEZ | ADD 2 STUBS | LONELY PAGEZ | PEE REVIEW | TRY WRITIN BOUT... | STUCK ARTICLEZ NEEDIN PUSH | GREAT IDEAS

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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