Babel:Lolcat

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Pope Francis ((Latin: Franciscus [franˈtʃiskus], Italian: Francesco [franˈtʃesko]; born Jorge Mario Bergoglio on 17 December 1956, died 21 April 2025) was the 377th Pope of the Catholic Church, elected in 2013. As such, he was Bishop of Rome, the head of the worldwide Catholic Church, NAMBLA's ambassador to the UN, and president of the Vatican City chain of pizzerias. He also played in the NBA for the Los Angeles Lakers for the 1982-83 season.

A native of Buenos Aires, Argentina, Bergoglio was ordained as a priest in 1987 after a successful career as an international footballer. In 1998 he became the Archbishop of Buenos Aires, and in 2001 an Arizona Cardinal.

Following the resignation of his predecessor Pope Benedict XVI, over allegations that he sexually abused a child while shouting at an African man for wearing a condom, Bergoglio won the papacy after the traditional game of rock paper scissors, and chose his papal name in honour of Pixies lead singer Black Francis.

Francis was the first pope to be a Jesuit, the first to come from the Americas, and the first to have scored a headed goal in the World Cup. In 2013, like most of his predecessors, Pope Francis was honored as Time's Person of the Year for making the world safe for pedophiles. (Full article...)

DID U KNOE...

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In the news

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Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and DeltaruneRussian InvasionIsrael-Palestine conflictDOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft MovieTrump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill SobuleRuth BuzziLeBron James' playoff run • Night CourtLopez vs LopezJayson Tatum's Achilles and Boston Celtics' repeat hopes

Upcoming deaths: DEIGoogle's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1

ON DIS DAI...

"I got that Wikia money, brah. You can smell but you can't touch pleb bitches." - Jimbo Wales

May 19: Shill Your Products on Wikipedia Day

COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

Jesus on Raptor
Some modifications have been made to the newest translation of the Holy Bible. In this scene (often called "Palm Sunday"), Jesus is now riding a raptor. While this was partially made to help make Jesus more accessible to Today's children, the decision was also made because certain Christians didn't want people to be able to say that Jesus was "riding someone's ass" that day. Both scientists and fundamental Christians question the historical accuracy of this account. From the New Cooler Edition: "And Christ touched the Velociraptor, and the Velociraptor was tamed." Luke 13:37 (NCE)

Image credit: Tshell
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MOAR RESENT ARTICLEZ | MOST WANTD PAGEZ | REQUESTD REWRITEZ | ADD 2 STUBS | LONELY PAGEZ | PEE REVIEW | TRY WRITIN BOUT... | STUCK ARTICLEZ NEEDIN PUSH | GREAT IDEAS

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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