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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.

Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.

Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)

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DID U KNOE...

... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)

... I could absolutely kill for something to eat right now? (Pictured)

... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?

... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?

... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that you've just lost the game?

... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured)

... that I am Batman?
... that the butler did it?
... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory?
... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?

... that in China, there is no MySpace, but a communist alternative? (Pictured)

... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?

TEH ARCHIV – SUGGEST NEW ENTRIEZ

In the news
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season, choked away at the last moment Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too UNNEWS – RADIO FREE LUNCH
ON DIS DAI...
April 2: National Refrigerator Day (Paraguay) 1111 - The Knights Templar are formed as a clandestine drinking society, take things a little too far. 1942 - Classic arcade title 1942 developed as shoot 'em up, rights to year are purchased by Capcom, to the chagrin of some cranky veterans. 1983 - Science is invented by accident, and is quickly swept under the carpet. 1984 - Miniluv put crimethink proles into fridge, remake them goodthink fullwise. 2001 - The mailman bangs your mom, but she's her own person, you can't control who she loves. 2002 - The U.S. Kitten Embargo begins as part of The War Against Terror (Pictured), countless Iraqi kittens deported. 2012 - The number two renamed second one. VIEW 2MORROW – MOAR ANNIVERSARIEZ...
COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP, AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

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RESENT ARTICLEZ

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

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UNCYCLOPEDIA LANGUAGEZ

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,974 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including French!:

	Uncyclopedia English United States 40,974	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14
	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.