Babel:Lolcat

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Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...)

DID U KNOE...

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  • ... that I'm secretly looking for Nazi Gold right now? (Pictured)
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  • ... that I'm secretly looking for Nazi Gold right now? (Pictured)
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  • ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)
  • ... that the butler did it?
  • ... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
  • ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
  • ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
  • ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
  • ... that the police are at your door?
  • ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
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In the news

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Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID to "protect the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter ParalympicsSaturn Awards

Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert CarradineWarner Bros. bidding war • Neil SedakaAli KhameneiTeam Italy sled hockey

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpWeedDancin' MaduroIranMahmoud Ahmadinejad

ON DIS DAI...

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March 9: National "Shit We Forgot to Celebrate Your Birthday" Day (Canada)

  • 400 BC - Noted Greek scholar and intellectual Hypocrites denounces extravagant living from his posh ninety-acre woodland mansion.
  • 1862 - First American Civil War battle between two Ironclad ships ends in draw after the CSS Virginia argues the war was about "economics, not slavery" as if the two topics are separate.
  • 1982 - Time travel party is announced three weeks ago in Baltimore, scientists declare that time travelers don't like Maryland very much.
  • 1994 - Bill Gates announces invention of a method that lets men hold handbags without looking "super gay", men clamor for secret.
  • 1996 - Secret to holding handbag like a man revealed: tie the strap around your balls and swing the handbag around like a flail. Cowardly men invent the extra-large pants pocket instead.
COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

Ben Franklin, kickin' it oldschool
Benjamin Franklin: founding father, inventor, politician, passionate kite-flier, and self-proclaimed King of Rhyme. In short, a true Renaissance man.

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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RESENT ARTICLEZ

MOAR RESENT ARTICLEZ | MOST WANTD PAGEZ | REQUESTD REWRITEZ | ADD 2 STUBS | LONELY PAGEZ | PEE REVIEW | TRY WRITIN BOUT... | STUCK ARTICLEZ NEEDIN PUSH | GREAT IDEAS

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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