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The Buffalo Bills are a "professional" football "team". Their home is in Buffalo, New York. They are widely regarded as one of the most successful NFL franchises to exist ever. Their only championships where in 1964 and 1965 when they won two AFL titles. However, the Bills have not won any championships since the AFL–NFL merger, a move that many now consider "a huge fuck up". They were owned by a 93-year-old zombie man who refused to die named Ralph Wilson. In 2014 Wilson finally kicked the bucket, fucking zombie! Buffalo Sabres owner, oil fracker, and resident idiot Terry Pegula bought the team.

The Buffalo Bills are named after Buffalo Bill, a friendly man who lived in the woods all by himself. He would have guests over frequently where they would stay in a well he constructed in his home. They would stay for several days putting lotion on their skin. Bill then proceeded to skin them alive and wear their skin. The founders of the Bills felt this sort of behavior was admirable.(Full article...)

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DID U KNOE...

... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)

... that the Southern United States is well-known for its "Southern Hospitality"? (Pictured)

... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?

... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured)

... that you actually didn't know?
... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography?
... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?

... that President Hoover (Pictured) was an actual hoover?

... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
... that I think you know what's happening today?
... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?

... that Vladimir Putin's warm and paternal gaze can cure cancer?

... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
... that Godot isn't coming?
... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?

... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)

... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?

... I could absolutely kill for something to eat right now? (Pictured)

... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
... that I am inside your walls?

TEH ARCHIV – SUGGEST NEW ENTRIEZ

In the news
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • DMV-based sitcom canned after people realize they can watch literally anything else • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too UNNEWS – RADIO FREE LUNCH**
ON DIS DAI...
March 30: International Cleavage Day 13B BC - God creates the Milky Way after squeezing stellar matter out of her insanely big knockers. 1692 - Twelve women are burned at the stake for inciting men to sin with their exposed bra straps. 1867 - America buys Alaska from the Russians because of its stiff Mountain peaks and vast tracts of fertile land. 1945 - Woman wears clothing that shows cleavage. The husband beats her. 1950 - The first film in Indonesia gets released, known for having at least one uncensored boob scene. 1977 - Marvel Comics designs a bra with a nipple window, claims its a proud Kryptonian tradition. 2012 - Big butts are now in! But you still can't be more than 120 pounds. Hey, I don't make the rules. VIEW 2MORROW – MOAR ANNIVERSARIEZ...
COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP, AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

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RESENT ARTICLEZ

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,970 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Moccan!:

	Uncyclopedia English United States 40,970	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.