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WASHINGTON DC, USA -- As part of his transition to the White House, newly elected president Barack Obama has had a number of difficult decisions to make. One of the decisions Obama has faced is the type of furniture to buy for his new home. In past administrations, the selection of presidential furniture has not received much media scrutiny, probably because it's a rather trivial thing to write a news report about. But Obama's choices of furniture have been closely reported on since his November election to the Presidency.

Obama took several weeks to decide on what type of cabinet to buy for a small dining room off the oval office. He considered several choices, including a mahogany display cabinet, perfect for displaying small figurines and dolls, and a kitchen cabinet that would have stored spices magnificently. In the end, he decided on the same cabinet in which Bill Clinton stored the disembodied brains of his political opponents during HIS presidency. (Full article...)

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Symphonia, the Greek goddess of rock (Opera in Roman mythology) was one of the lesser goddesses born to Tethys and Oceanus. She is said to bless those who truly appreciate "a killer riff" by turning herself into a sculpture made out of stone (it is assumed marble). She is considered a lesser goddess because this happened only once.

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WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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