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“This is one small step for a gentleman, rather too much for working class types, I fear.” – Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel
With these words Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel (RN retired) became the first man to set foot on the moon. Moments later Group Captain Perkin "Tubby" Warbeck planted the Union Jack in the moon-dust and claimed Earth's only natural satellite for England, for King George and for tax-purposes. Flight Lieutenant Gerald "Stinky" Rawlings stood to attention and saluted through tear-stained eyes from the confines of the command module "Heart of Oak", unable to take part in the actual landing due to a grammar school education.
The story of how these two brave men and their batman came to be 400,000 kilometres from the nearest tea-shop is one of the most inspiring and yet little known tales in modern history. (Full article...)
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DID U KNOE...
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- ... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured)
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
- ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
- ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
- ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
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In the news
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Too bad you can't customize this in the original.
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ON DIS DAI...
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| COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
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For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.
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WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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UNCYCLOPEDIAS SISTR PROJECTZ
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| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
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UNCYCLOPEDIA LANGUAGEZ
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,111 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including AAAAAAAAA!!:
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PROTECTD BY TEH FAIR USE CLAUSE, AN AN ELITE CLAN OV CLINJAS.
