Babel:Lolcat

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
WELCOM 2 LOLPEDIA,
TEH CONTENT-FREE ENCYCLOPEDIA DAT ANY1 CAN EDIT.
40,977 articles in English

BEGINNERS GUIDE · TEH HOOJ 5 · STYLE · QUESHUNS · HALP · DONASHUNS

KATEGORIEZ · FEATURD CONTENT · A-Z INDEX

Sick Orchids.jpg

Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.

Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)

DID U KNOE...

150x150 BETbooty.gif
  • ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
Blackprince11.jpg
  • ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
  • ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
  • ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
  • ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
150x150 BETbooty.gif
  • ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
  • ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
  • ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
  • ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
  • ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
  • ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
  • ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
  • ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
Santa plane.jpg
  • ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
  • ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
  • ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack?
  • ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
  • ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
  • ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
N1.jpg
Blood-controller.jpg
  • ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
  • ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does?
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
  • ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
Sdsad.PNG
  • ... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

In the news

Norris4.jpg

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn AwardsChucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • BuffyXander HarrisRobert Mueller

Upcoming deaths: Dancin' MaduroIranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity

ON DIS DAI...

This is a dolphin not a fish, I demand a refund

March 23: Take Your Fish To Work Day

  • 139 AD - Roman historian Erraticus publishes the fourth version of Life of Trajan, this one portaying Trajan as an emperor and retracting the previous version's claims that Trajan was a talking donkey.
  • 1097 - St. Peter's Basilica was first used outside of the Vatican city during the first Crusades.
  • 1952 - Beloved British children's author Enid Blyton publishes her most famous work, The Three Golliwogs. Please don't google it.
  • 1956 - Pakistan declares itself to be an Islamic Republic, which is like the Old Republic except without the Jedi.
  • 1962 - Dozens of women march on Washington D.C. to politely request feminine rights, their husbands sit at home without their supper.
  • 1974 - The last dirty liberal is sent to serve in the Vietnam War, rendering America a perfect utopia of conservatives for nearly eighteen months.
  • 2026 - a Plane has love affair with A track, making the worlds first Plane-Firetruck hybrid.
COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

Tyrannosaurus Banks
Production photos from the next Jurassic Park film, starring Tyra Banks, have been released. Ebert has already given it 5 stars.

Image credit: Imrealized
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

RESENT ARTICLEZ

MOAR RESENT ARTICLEZ | MOST WANTD PAGEZ | REQUESTD REWRITEZ | ADD 2 STUBS | LONELY PAGEZ | PEE REVIEW | TRY WRITIN BOUT... | STUCK ARTICLEZ NEEDIN PUSH | GREAT IDEAS

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


UNCYCLOPEDIAS SISTR PROJECTZ

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UNCYCLOPEDIA LANGUAGEZ

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,977 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Esperanto!:
United States
Uncyclopedia
English
United States
40,977
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
50785
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
19194
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 17766
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 14423
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8936
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 12400
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6417
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 6330
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7300
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

PROTECTD BY TEH FAIR USE CLAUSE, AN AN ELITE CLAN OV CLINJAS.