Babel:96
Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.
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<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!
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My favorite Word document[edit source]
MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95
Now with twice the features!![edit source]
A bidet (US /bɨˈdeɪ/ or UK /ˈbiːdeɪ/) is not quite a toilet, and not quite a sink, but a third mid-way bathroom-based porcelain structure intended for washing the genitalia, inner buttocks, and anus.
The majority of the populace are slightly intimidated in the presence of a bidet, and typically use them for washing feet, or as misidentified toilets. (Full article...)
Tell me how good my website is.
The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!
Facts about me[edit source]
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
History Channel[edit source]
July 26: Punch Your Girlfriend Day (Michigan)
- 3400 B.C. – Cave man punch woman. then laugh
- 589 – King Arthur declares himself King of England after using Excalibur to hit his woman.
- 657 – Battle of Siffin. Theys was Diffin, yo. No I'm sayn, Bitch?
- 790 – The practice of "back handing" starts in Europe as a cure for the women talking. It has a success rate of 80%.
- 810 – The practice of "back handing" ends in Europe as reports of excessively clean houses increase.
- 1521 – Famed prophet Nostradamus predicts that the King of England will have an affair and take the Queen of France as his mistress.
- 1524 – Nostradamus's house gets egged by an angry mob as they find his prediction to be wrong and that the King of England does not take the Queen of France as his mistress, but the Prince of Germany.
- 1536 – King Henry VIII of England takes Punch Your Girlfriend day to new extremes, by killing two of his wives.
- 1590 – Martin Luther changes his "100 Thesis" to the "99 Thesis" by deleting the sentence, "Priests are not to be allowed to have relations with children."
- 1792 – The Whiskey Rebellion is lost as George Washington and his troops march to fight off rebels while they were drunk singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. We take one down, pass it around, and 98 bottles of beer on the wall..."
- 1812 – The War of 1812 starts as an 18 year old young British boy gets in a fist fight with a 12 year old American. The two nations get involved as they send reinforcements to help the children.
- 1834 – The whoopie cushion is invented as a seat cover, but does not sell well for making "sounds of unwanted body gases."
- 1870 – The typewriter is invented with only the keys Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.
- 1956 – Harry Belafonte is impregnated by deadly black tarantulas as Shari Belafonte is born among a bunch of bananas.
- 1966 – Bloblobo, king of Bababa, knights Bob the salesmen for his studies in the field of OhmygodIforgottochangemyboxersology.
- 1974 – A Scottish man is viciously attacked by an alien squid after mistaking the creature for his bagpipes. Several women are punched in the process.
- 1988 – Reading in terror - Godzilla is born in the Royal Berkshire Hospital.
- 1994 – Like Henry VIII, O.J. Simpson takes "punch your girlfriend day" a step further by murdering his wife.
- 1997 – Peter Piper picks a peck of pickled peppers. Pfft!
- 2000 – 35 people with the Y2K bug are hospitalized after having close physical contact with their computers.
- 2007 – The Green Archers are beaten by The Blue Eagles, The Archers then punch their girlfriends for not cheering hard enough. The Eagles punch their girlfriends in ecstasy.
- 2008 – Max Mosley celebrates "punch your girlfriend day" by dressing as a Nazi prison guard.
- 2089 – Chuck Norris punches girlfriend, waking his dentist and long-deceased great-great-great-great grandfather Odysseus.
- 3001 – Justin Bieber's preserved remains finally hit puberty.
Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit source]
- Starmer bans pornography nationwide (Pictured)
- Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia
- Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!"
- Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison"
- Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever
- Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile
- Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury
- Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill"
- United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
- Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for threesome, blows load
- Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)
Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie Francis • Alan Bergman • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates
Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)
Other cool sites[edit source]
- Why is book?
- Halloween Ends
- Stranger Things (rw)
- G.I. Jane
- G.I. Jane 2
- UnTunes:Santa Baby
- This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich
- Fairytale
- UnTunes:Shoes
- Uncyclopedia:Business (rw)
- Halloween Kills
- UnTunes:Perry the Platypus
- Elon's Musk
- UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw)
- UnTunes:Rio
- Herodotus (rw)
- Brawny
- Lawnmower-Humvee (rw)
- Steve Wozniak (rw)
- Narrative (rw)
- Bryan Adams High School
- Alex Trebek
- Lincoln Logs
- Brexit
- Where Is Everybody?
- UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals)
- Avi Toledano
- Eli Roth
- Film (remake)
- African American
- Worst 100 Reflections on 2018
- Ray Charles
- Bernardo Butterlucci
- Urban Dictionary
Write my english paper for me!
Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself
Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down
Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper
 David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. |
 If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. |
Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
- My friend Brad - He needs a bone marrow transplant LOL!
- My colleadge fund - so i can get a good job
- My web hosting company - Unlimited bandwidth and diskspace for only 50 cents a month
- Hersheys - They want to build a Chocolate New Orleans
- Oragami - Crazy japs
You can talk to me on AOL chat.
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