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Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
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| Did you know...
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- ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
- ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans? (Pictured)
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