User:Isra1337/Main Page hybrid2

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Today's featured article Joshua Patrick "Fucking" Allen is an American hero playing quarterback for the Buffalo Bills and, depending on whom you ask, either God's gift to football or the biggest dunce on the planet. But those who call him a dunce are fuckin' Jabroni's. If you keep slandering the man, you haven't seen him sling the football around. Who cares if he had only a 45% completion rate in high school, or a 51% completion rate in his rookie year? His rookie year? Come on, stats are for losers. The man puts his team on his back and with that howitzer of an arm and running ability of a bear, watch out. He will impregnate every man and woman alike in the stadium with his mind-blowing play. Josh Allen looks good in shorts. Oh, and he managed to help Buffalo win a bunch of games and played college ball in Wyoming of all places. But due to Patrick Mahomes simply existing, he still hasn't been to a Super Bowl. What a chad. Or dummy. Depending on who you ask. NFL Films calls him the "Winter Soldier", but no one knows where that nickname came from. Purportedly. (Full article...) Recently featured: Lawrencium Rule of Thumb Europan hookmouth Hamster Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?

Word of the Day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. Recent News All taxes, all vape, all Rayner. Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK (Pictured) Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year Some mega pop star and her boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay. NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes Trump presents new science project to Cabinet Uncyclopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures Trump fires Zakk Wylde Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione" Epstein list predictions Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger in jail • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' season • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump, either by angry cartel members, "meanie judges", or (finally) releasing the Epstein files On this day... September 8: International Precision Day Sometime Someone invents like counting or something. 1, 2:05:32 PM: Counting is invented by a female human named Digits Counting, 1.745 meters tall, after 4 hours, 8 minutes and 16 seconds of thinking about the problem of shortening sales reports. 70, 6:12:55 AM - 11:03:44 PM Roman legions under the command of Titus sack Jerusalem. 1930 - 3M begins marketing Scotch transparent tape, which sells better than Scotch transparent crayon. 1950: The world's first sit-on lawnmower goes on display in Paris. Rioting ensues. 1962: Segregation is repealed. 1986: Plurals Plural banned in the Netherland (formerly known as the Netherlands). 1992: Woman finds baby in dumpster. Declares her a daughter. 2000 - No one cares 2001 - They still don't care 2002 - Hey look!...nah, don't care 2003 - People start to care after free booze is supplied to them via the Red Cross.

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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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