User:Isra1337/Main Page hybrid2

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Today's featured article
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Ah, yes, hamsters. Known for absolutely nothing except for dying in the weirdest ways possible. Be honest, how many hamsters have you seen die peacefully? That's right, none. And if you answered something other than that, you're living in the Matrix. Known for stuffing their fat faces with anything remotely edible, eating their babies, living in your walls, escaping through the smallest holes in their cages possible, eating their babies, being fat, dying in the most ridiculous ways possible, eating their babies, and eating their babies.

Did I mention eating their babies? That's pretty important. (Full article...)

Did you know...
*... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
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"It's for the children's own good!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael MadsenBill Cosby's TV sonBryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndromeTom LehrerThe systemFUBAR

Upcoming deaths: DEIPittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid GameMAGAJoe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates

On this day...
August 16: Kansai Day (Japan)
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  • 70,000,000 B.C. - First Gozan Okuribi festival (meaning "bloody great flaming kanji") held in Kyoto.
  • 40,000 B.C. - Takoyaki invented.
  • 1950 - Kyoto, Osaka and Kobe form the Keihanshin conglomerate after being liberated from their evil oppressors.
  • 1973 - Kansai officially enters the Kaiju League of Japan with two contestants (Entei and Glico Man)
  • 1984 - Governor of Tokyo makes stealth attacks on Kansai under the alias The Monster with 21 Faces.
  • 2007 - Osaka scientists find out how to make a robot that solves a Rubik's Cube. World breathes sigh of relief.
  • 2200 - Kansai secedes from the rest of Japan. Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu shortly follow. This leads to the Tozaikan War.
  • 2207 - Kansai wins the Tozaikan War by planting proximity takoyaki around Tokyo. Kanto surrenders on November 1 of the same year.
  • 3000 - Osaka declared capital of the world.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


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