User talk:Multiliteralist/archive0001

VIKING!!!

So why did you blank your own page, huh?  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  19 Jun 2010 ~ 17:58 (UTC)

I, uh, archived it to at least get raeped. -- Style  Guide 20:10, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Well I was (finally) first so it got vikinged instead; rape would be moot at this point 'cause to follow viking with rape makes no sense. (Whereas when I follow rape with further rape, pillaging & plunderings with vikings it perfectly does--- I so enjoy the warm glow of burning villages.)  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  19 Jun 2010 ~ 21:41 (UTC)

The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

May contain traces of humor!

Jun 24th, 2010 • Issue 86 • Oh yeah, the UnSignpost, I remember that...

Conservation Week Approaches By UU Fancy watering Uncyclopedia's forestry? Want to be a good conservationist? Fancy taking up the rewriting sword of justice, and righteously smiting the dragon of shit writing? Actually, the hell with that, do you want to take a bunch of bad articles, and make them suck less? Then you, my friend, are in luck! Conservation Week 2010 starts on July 5th, and actively encourages users to scour the wiki (perhaps through judicious use of Special:Random, or possibly through exploration of Category:Rewrite or Category:Ideas or even Special:Lonelypages), find lame articles that they consider are taking up the very space which could be occupied by something less sucky, and then using their skill and judgement to turn those articles into shining examples of comedic writing. As this is a competition dedicated to simultaneously reducing the number of useless articles on the wiki and increasing the number of good ones, some naysayers believe it to be completely pointless - Uncyclopedia is the worst, they say, and no amount of well-intentioned competitions can change that. But were it to exist, the Cabal would probably beg to differ. They may call it something like "a genuinely good thing", and "a ray of hope, signalling that occasionally, even the most worthless dreck may be redeemed". So if you think what your userpage is missing is a template called the "Greasy Mechanic Award", then prepare to rewrite like you've never re-written before. Just don't forget to make your new version better than the original. Something summarizing the events of the last month or so By PuppyOnTheRadio It has been said by one of our esteemed administrators here at UnSignpost that if it wasn't reported in the UnSignpost, then it didn't happen. As there has been no UnSignpost produced for the last few days, due to one of the editors having a real life, and another one being lazy, there are several things that didn't happen. Yes, the loss of the UnSignpost for so long sent a shiver down the spines of many an Uncyclopedian. So much so that one member of the community decided that it was timely to look at a new way to produce the UnSignpost. One such idea was to release a monthly periodical in the place of USP. Although there has been several attempts by this reporter to obtain a quote from said insurrectional community member, to date no response has been heard. As part of the ongoing struggle to maintain our independent stance from Wikia, several members decided that it would be a wise idea to create a way to cash in on the popularity of the site. As such the UnShoppe has been created, where you may purchase any one of a number of Uncyclopedia-related pieces of merchandise. So far all purchases have been made by the individuals who created the store. However, if you are looking for the place to buy a shirt that shows that your nipples have been featured, that a wizard did something, whatever it was, and that you have an in-depth knowledge of who Dan Kwon is. There was a competition. Congratulations go to mrthejazz, who got the pun. Imperial Colonisation has taken a brief hiatus after the new head of IC became the old head of IC. He was an Australian, and his example has inspired the entire nation so much that the new head of Parliament for the country is now the old head of parliament. Congratulations go out to the new new head of IC. A strange bandwagon has been created by a drunken Bonner, who has challenged all and sundry to ask him anything at all. As such there are various forums dedicated to asking regular Uncyclopedian members things. These previously were known as user talk pages, but who can stand in the way of progress? And that's all that didn't happen. Although now it's listed in UnSignpost that means it actually did happen. Which suggests that by editing UnSignpost I have the power to change the past. If I could change anything about the past, what would it be? I had sex with a real person!

Check out these pages! Modusoperandipedia? Fuck... Uncle Dex needs ideas for business cards Wait, we seriously have a store now?! From our logs: 06:22, 23 June 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 153.107.33.152 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (and you are the living proof that school kids are idiots) 00:12, 23 June 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked LRC (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (The purpose of redirects is to redirect someone to a page that is related to the original page, not separated by six degrees of bullshit logic. Try again.) 09:52, 21 June 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 153.107.33.158 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Back after your last block and still loving the penis, have a bit longer to think about that) 15:02, June 17, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 243 seconds (I hear the UnSignpost may be returning, so I'd better make sure I put up at least one decent ban this week so I can get in it!) 05:38, June 17, 2010 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.109.125.137 (Talk) with an expiry time of a million years ‎ (multiple vandalizations of keitei) Old-School Featured Article of the Week UnMysteries:J'accuse Thank you all for meeting me in the Accusing Parlor tonight. If you're wondering what "j'accuse" means, and why I ran screaming it through the whole house, it means "I accuse" in French, and it's what people say when they accuse people of murder. I trust you know why we're all here. After I was mysteriously invited to this party, and after people started mysteriously dying, I decided to put my internet degrees in Criminology, and Criminography, to good use. But to accuse people of homicide, I have to start at the beginning. International Sporting Tournament of the Week The Swedish Orienteering And Firing A Rat From A Cannon Championships. The World Cup? What's that? Missed anniversary of the week Some time in the last month or so, the UnSignpost completely failed to celebrate its second anniversary. Hey ho. Two years of missed deadlines, desperate filler boxes, flimsy biopics, hand-deliveries and pale imitations of journalism - is it even worth mentioning? Probably not. Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #347 The standard of desperate filler boxes in the UnSignpost remains as low as ever. Oh look - a monkey!

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A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:30, 24 June 2010

All the news that's unfit to print!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay

Jul 1st, 2010 • Issue 87 • More news than something with less news than us

Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to write at speed! By UU Dullness. Boredom. Shit not going down. That's the place Uncyc found itself recently. And we needed a spark. An idea. Something out of leftfield to galvanise the troops, plaster stupid smiles on faces across the wiki, and inspire joy unconfined in the community. We're still waiting for that, but until it arrives, Skull's hour-long writing contest will do nicely. Shamelessly pinching Cajek's idea of time-limited writing competitions (which brought us such classics as HowTo:Sexually Stimulate an Ant, lest we forget), but putting his own distinct spin on it, Uncyc's own mad Doctor challenged Uncyclopedians to write an article in a single hour that would survive VFD. Given Uncyclopedia's well-known exacting quality standards, this promised to be a tough task, but a surprising number of people were up for it. And so it was that a frenzy erupted across the wiki, and baffled Europeans and other users not around at the time awoke the next day to a slew of brand new articles, not all of which ended up being deleted. They liked the idea so much, they held their own a couple of days later. When asked to comment on his brainchild, the commotion and excitement it had caused, and the size of his penis, Dr. Skullthumper exclusively told us "Sure. I'll get on that. I swear". Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to start pointless drama! By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Giant evil multinational wiki-hosting conglomerate Wikia won a major victory last month, when a rebellion by a small but dedicated band of anti-capitalist radicals was brutally put down by a bunch of fascistic Wikia-collaborators. Or at least, that's what happened in the heads of Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning after they nailed their anti-Wikia manifesto to the metaphorical door of Uncyclopedia's metaphorical Wittenberg Cathedral. The 1,000-word anti-Wikia tract, despite the shocking and previously unknown revelation that Wikia was not in fact the wiki-hosting charity that it claimed to be, but rather a commercial company, failed to ignite a spontaneous revolt against Wikia among the Uncyclopedia community. A heated and sexually-charge discussion ensued, with strong arguments offered by both sides. However, it seems that some people were unable to grasp the enormity of the revelation that Wikia's motives were less than altruistic. Eventually, the thread descended into an all-out flamewar and a waaaaaaaaaaaaaahmbulance was called to treat the injured. "We may have lost this round," Carlb told UnSignpost reporters "but it is only a temporary setback. One day, the tyranny of Wikia will be no more. Our revenge will be the laughter of our children." It is rumoured that Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning will employ Black Bloc tactics at the next Wikia conference in an attempt to escalate the struggle against Wikia oppression.

Check out these pages! Tell me about your mother Fantasy (American) Football is back! (Oh yeah - I went there) Open the podcast bay doors, Skull... From our logs: 09:07, 30 June 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Ahmedatefa (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (don't do that....or I shall have to spank you) 20:31, 27 June 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked SadisticWolf (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes ‎ (I don't "rape" I "cockify". There's a difference. ) 16:01, 25 June 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Dexter111344 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 seconds ‎ (I'm not a poor version of Oli, I'm a mediocre and far more irritating version) Biopic of the Week What can be said about Ethine? Well, she's been lurking IRC since about December 2006 and only made an account after being forced to by emc. She has been sexually harassed by long forgotten users and by ones you only wish you could forget. She recently took up the job of fighting vandals, reverting idiots, and trying to get new users flogged. For some reason, this was enough to get her the Uncyclopedian of the Month award. Or it could have just been because of her hands. Her young, sexy, oh-so-soft hands... By the way, she actually likes talking to you freaks over Skype. Go talk to her. Ask her about her open invitation to everyone to come to her house. You won't even have to bring your own rope, either. Old-school featured article of the week Hi, my name is David Cameron and I'm the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom. You can call me Dave if you wish, not that I'm trying to tell you what to do. "David" is fine. My mother calls me David and she's a lovely woman, so either way it's cool. This is my own personal uncyclopedia article. I've created this, because I feel that in this modern age of ipods and nanos, it is important to connect with young people and do it in the medium and language that they understand, L.O.L.

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--ChiefjusticeXBox360 12:13, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Signpost: normal service resumed

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

I love it when the news comes together

Jul 8th, 2010 • Issue 88 • Hand-stitched for comfort

Conservation week: how's it going, and what is it anyway? By Under user The 6th bi-annual Conservation Week is now in full swing, and once again bugging people by lasting for a fortnight. So far there are around 12 rewriters signed up (depending on if Joe9320 is serious about pulling out because he got reverted) to rewrite getting on for 30 or so articles. That's a fair old commitment to improvement. But then, that's kind of the idea, isn't it? Conservation week has been running since autumn 2007, starting life in Jocke Pirat's userspace, and spending a confused few hours being called the rewrite-a-thon in an early attempt to get around the whole week-fortnight thing. The first iteration was a resounding success, and about 38 people signed up to rewrite over 50 articles (with Zombiebaron hilariously missing the point and going on a deletion spree instead), making the current iteration look like it has some work to do. However, there was no quality control at the outset - if an article was rewritten in any way, that was deemed good enough. Some of those early articles may well have been made worse, we just don't know (or can't be bothered to check). Quality control arrived later on, when erstwhile gentleman editor of this very organ Gerrycheevers stepped up to run the first 2009 CW, and ran the rule over all the rewrites personally, so that the attendant award was only bestowed on those doing quality rewrites. That task this year falls to Dexter111344, who has promised to be "harsh but harsh". Probably. So, with a prize on offer to the person with the most high quality rewrites, and plenty of time left in which to do said rewrites, the only question left is: "why haven't you entered yet"? We asked this question of one completely random user, and he exclusively told us "because I'm busy writing this week's issue of the UnSignpost, duh!" Image Request: A Retrospective By UU Time to focus on a sometimes-overlooked corner of Uncyclopedia: UN:PIC, otherwise known as Image Request or Radical X's corner. Named for the once and forever king of image manipulation on Uncyclopedia, the near-mythical RadicalX, this page has been responsible for some truly memorable Uncyc images over the years. And some of Pokémon characters superimposed on the crucifixion - hey, whatever floats your boat. Established in March 2005 by a user called Machinecurse, this page has been the domain of most of the legends of Uncyc image manipulation at one time or another - as one 'chopper has left, another has arisen to take their place, in some kind of Potatochop Royal Succession stylee. Or something. Whatever, the likes of Paulgb, Zombiebaron, Seeker, Sonje and, more recently, KneeChee27 and MeepStarLives have slaved over hot image editing software to fulfil the esoteric image requirements of the Uncyclopedia populace. The response time has always varied on the page, as it largely depends on how active the 'choppers are at the time, how achievable the requests actually are, and how polite the request is. But for those with a little patience, it is undoubtedly a useful resource in the ongoing quest for that perfect image of Mario and Master Chief riding Pikachu down the Death Star Trench run. Or something. Have a look at the gallery to see some of the more recent work.

Check out these pages! Yes, it's fucking political... I, er, won't survive? Everyone's a winner baby From our logs: 03:03, 5 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Skinfan13 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Paradox block for breaking a rule on an award with no rules) 21:47, 4 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Aidan2613 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (The revolution is dead. God save the queen) 18:15, 2 July 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.154.122.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (I hope the next 48 hours pass as swiftly and painlessly for you as the hundred years war) Biopic of the Week In North Vancouver, born and raised, at city fundraisers and bake sales are where he spent most of his days... Some of you may or may not remember Shandon, nicknamed "Doughboy" by the electorate in Vancouver after his notorious political scandal which nearly erupted Canadia into anarchy. This is unlike his nickname on Uncyclopedia, "Doughperson", which is based on Shandon's gender neutral writing style and gender neutral username having led many to believe that Shandon has no gender. He recently moved to America, and after doing so was named "Worst Canadian Export", a title he took from Bryan Adams but recently lost to Justin Bieber (Shandon's only chance of reclaiming the title is Bieber's looming appearance in North Korea which many hope will be the end of him). After becoming the first person to ever pick up a chick from the Uncyclopedia IRC, Shandon is now living the American Dream. So what's the nick all about? Shandon, from Silverlock by John Myers Myers. NOT Shandon from Isle of the Dead by Roger Zelazny (another terrible book). Old-school featured article of the Week A civil war is a form of warfare known for its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to the other tactics such as scorched earth which are entirely too dirty for upstanding gentlemen. Civil warfare is a strategy that has outlasted many minor fads in warfare such as Germany's Blitzkrieg Bop, the British Redcoat's Stand In a Line and Shoot or the French Foreign Legion's Surrender. Its longevity as a tactic can probably be attributed to a few things, namely the incompetence of modern military tacticians compared to those of the past and the universal human need for cordial smiles and small talk, even during battle. The inevitable return of Cajek ban of the week 12:30, 8 July 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (not returning to Uncyc in a proper and timely fashion)

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Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter 10:54, Jul 9

Twanks, stranger

Why don't ya come up and see me sometime?

Hey, thanks alot for the nom for Rolex, that was unexpected and appreciated. I'm going to post Skinfan's pee review on the talk page, a valuable write-up. I'm glad you liked it, and hope you don't own a rolex. There is some background for the page on the discussion page, it came about as a result of an apparent rolex salesman mucking about pretending he was a long-time user here, and just wanted to tell all his Uncy buddies about the wonderful new watch he had found. Asswipe. So I used my irritation at him and worked it into the start of the page. Thanks again! Aleister 22:17 11 7 MMX

Thanks again, it made front page today. Now people from all across the globe can tell time by putting tiny sticks on their wrists. And it was all because of you! I'm glad you liked the page. Appreicated. Aleister 3:27 21 7

Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

Jul 15th, 2010 • Issue 89 • Made with 100% recycled vuvuzelas

The 40+ club expands By UU Once, many years ago, having 40 featured articles seemed an untouchable goal - a mystical, far-off land that none would ever reach. These days, it seems almost passé, as Mhaille has joined Modusoperandi in that territory, and Hyperbole (counting works by his various drunken sockpuppets) is half a feature away from becoming the fastest person yet to reach that magical figure. We asked them all for quotes, and Mhaille exclusively told us: ""Go eat more shit, fuckers"...obviously I am excited to have reached the BIG 4-0, and am delighted that enough of my peers deem the quality of my work good enough to have reached that figure, although I have to say I'm a little pissed that at least 10 other of my articles are feature-worthy and are constant overlooked (lengthy bans will ensue, I'm sure), I am equally as proud of my featured images, as well as many of my other contributions that I hope that my peers feel have augmented the work of others. That I am still here after five long years, and still contributing says something about Uncyclopedia itself. What that is, I wouldn't like to speculate. But sometimes you have to in order to accumulate. Apparently." Which is such a long quote we're going to need at least one blatant filler box in the right-hand panel. Bastard. Meanwhile, Modus exclusively told us "It's not that myself and Mhaille have written so very many great and fantastic pages that have, and will continue to, entertain the people for years to come. It's just that Mhaille did. "I" am one of his many sockpuppets. He writes as "Modusoperandi" when he needs a page without a "foreign" accent. Look around. There are a bunch more Mhaille sockpuppets here, too. Hyperbole, for one. Mhaille is like a wet Mogwai." Which is more concise, and therefore OK. Finally, Hype exclusively commented: "I'd like to say thank you to Uncyclopedia for voting to feature my many excellent, high-quality articles, including the drunken insistence that you accept a diseased poodle, the song about having sex with sporting goods, and the blatantly racist tirade about having to wait too long for a Pee Review. Writing 39.5 features has been literally the most important accomplishment I will ever have in my life. I look forward to continuing to service each and every one of you in the future." Which was nice of him. So, the burning question now has to be: who will be first to 50? Modus obviously has the lead, but Mhaille is writing in greater volume than he has for some time, and if Hype keeps up the pace, he's probably a good bet. But they're not the only candidates - Sog is coming up the rails rapidly, and could reach the 40 mark even quicker than Hype - could he overtake the lot of them? The only thing certain is that with these guys around, Uncyc should be assured of some half-decent articles amongst the dross. World Cup over - Romartus struggling for UnNews inspiration By UU The climax to the World Cup may have been a little ugly, unsatisfying and under-whelming (hmm, sounds familiar somehow), but it raises a question so far not addressed by the mainstream media, namely "what is Romartus going to write UnNewses about now?" The scourge of Junior Uncyclopedia has discovered his muse in the planet's biggest sporting event, and has been cranking out UnNews articles on the subject at an alarming rate. Now, without Jabulani balls, biting tackles and Messi long shots to inspire him, what is there to inspire him to maintain such prolific standards? Suspicions abound that the Tour De France is passing him by, he seems far too English to care about the various draft and transfer shenanigans in the NFL and NBA and the like, and as the only story to emerge from golf's Open Championship so far is Tiger Woods changing his putter (wow, someone hold me back), that seems unlikely to unleash his inner news-hound. With a worrying lack of global sporting tournaments on the horizon, will we have to wait another 4 years for the next Romartus article splurge? Stay tuned to UnNews to find out!

Check out these pages! Please not Stephenie Meyer, Please not Stephenie Meyer... Lazy journalism. Which is something we never indulge in Kicking on with another bandwagon From our logs: 23:47, 14 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.8.150.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Oh, shut up for about half a year, will you? Thanks, dear.) 15:47, 13 July 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) resurrected Under user (Talk | contribs) ‎ (a song originally written for Celine Dion? Have you no standards?) 14:47, 13 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 294 seconds ‎ (CUZ I MISS U BABY AND I DUN WANNA MISS A THING.) 14:39, 13 July 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Don't want to cloooose my eyes, don't want to faaaaaall asleep.) 06:18, 13 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Keeh69 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I block with the power of a thousand vuvuzelas) 19:16, 12 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 77.164.176.221 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (you can't even spell "racistic" properly it's "RASISTICS") 01:01, 12 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.68.108.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Only because I can't appoint you an admin.) Biopic of the Week Fnoodle was the UnSignpost's first ever paperbot, something we could frankly do with more of. One of the many creations of fiendish evil genius Dr. Skullthumper, it also managed to singlehandedly upset approximately two-thirds of the wiki by running a huge spellcheck operation, maliciously changing "teh" to "the" on every single page - which seemed to put an awful lot of panties in a bunch, judging by teh number of complaints on Skull's talk page in the aftermath. Old-school featured article of the week The Adventures of Baron Ringpiece were composed as a series of short tales, published between 1840 and 1848 by William “Wacky” Thackeray, better known for Vanity Fair Magazine, and his novels Penispenispenis and The Virginans, and details the life and adventures of Redman Barry O'Malley. Thackeray always considered the work to be unfinished, and had intended to add several more chapters, turning the tale from one where the hero works towards success to one where he gains his dreams only to lose them. Cajek ban of the Week 10:04, 9 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (account creation disabled) ‎ (I really don't do this as often as I should)

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—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:12, 16 July 2010

Ouch!

I can't believe you voted to get rid of VFH, dude. What's the deal? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:29, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

We're delivering it to your door anyways!

Jul 22nd, 2010 • Issue 90 • Suddenly, Signpost!

UnNews hits warp factor Whore By Zim That bastard child of Uncyclopedia and WikiNews, UnNews, is in full-on whoring mode. Tired of being relegated to the bilge hold of Uncyc, staff have collectively and to a man, woman or it, decided to resort to the time-honored tradition of whoring themselves for attention. 2010 is shaping up to be a record year for lots of stuff, which I am too lazy to actually reference. We've had lots of cool coding happenings, resulting in a facelift to the Main Page, and a really cool navigation bar giving access to a plethora (well, 7 sections in fact) of sections including Sports, Comics, Editorials, and special coverage of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Contributors to UnNews of note are Funnybony, SPIKE, Romartus, Modusoperandi, Mordillo, Multiliteralist, PuppyOnTheRadio, Happytimes, Matt lobster and MrN9000 (when the bugger's here). Apologies to anybody I've missed. The Newsroom, home to nefarious plots and odd ideas, has once again become an active core of resistance against Uncyc's unofficial policy of ignoring us. Always leading edge, UnNews is acquiring a stable of notable personalities for a new series of Uncolumns called "Reductio ad Hitlerum", a guest column that invites persons of note to do an article for us, usually under threat of blackmail. Discussion here, first RaH column here by guest Sarah Palin. Techno gets Mhaille'd By UU The most exclusive and coveted award on Uncyclopedia, the Mhaille award for excellence, has been presented for only the 14th time in 4 years, and the first time in first time in a year, to the suitably humbled RabbiTechno. The award is, unusually on vote-happy Uncyclopedia, not decided on by voting, but is bestowed at the sole discretion of feature-monster, bureaucrat, whoring legend and token Liverpool fan Mhaille, according to his own criteria. Looking down the list of previous winners - Shandon, ENeGMA, Tompkins, Zombiebaron, Prettiestpretty, Savethemooses and the rest, it's pretty clear that the good Rabbi is a) in good company, and b) not going to be here much longer.

Check out these pages! Whoops! Andorin did it again Vote for less voting! What's a "Braydie"? From our logs: 06:03, 22 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.236.215.111 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbully - also apparently believes women to have penises and is thus either aged under six years or is a Lady Gaga fan. Either way, unsuitable for Uncyclopedia) 08:04, 19 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.167.1.63 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (returning blankist. Nice to see you again chap.) 06:06, 17 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.171.137.61 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I get my dubious software from Synaptic package manager, thank you.) 01:45, 17 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.32.64.51 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (yo article so fat) Old-school featured article of the week A shopping list purports to be a simple item used to detail all items required on a given shopping trip. However, recent scientific studies have revealed its true purpose: it is a key element in a game of oneupmanship between couples. The lists are carefully compiled in a secret code known only to one half of the couple, the objective being to confuse, baffle, and otherwise annoy the other half to the point of submission. The ultimate aim is to get the other half to admit to being an abject failure, and to concede intellectual superiority in the relationship indefinitely, or at least until next Tuesday. Cajek ban of the week brings you - Cajek's first ban! 15:06, 20 September 2007 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour ‎ (When an admin archives a VFD, voting is closed.)

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--ChiefjusticeXBox360 13:55, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

Aug 5th, 2010 • Issue 91 • I love it when the news comes together

VFD minimum time limit introduced By UU Yes, folks, it's actual news this week. We know, next week will see normal service resumed. However: following a forum discussion on the dump that impressively managed to avoid any real drama, it has been decided that, to avoid any articles being deleted without a proper window for debate, all nominations on VFD will remain open for a minimum of one day. Further to that, the minimum score required for deletion is in the process of being clarified, so that either a score of at least +5 in favour of deletion will be required before the trigger-happy admins fire up their huffing devices, or 5 keep votes will automatically exempt an article from deletion. One of those. Probably. The number 5 seems certain to be involved, whatever the outcome. Hopefully, this will ensure that BUTT POOP is never deleted again. At least, such is our understanding. Sorry about that. We will now follow this with an article with no relation to news whatsoever, to try and make it up to you. Uncyc Fantasy Football draft off to racing start By UU Those with a passing interest in sports might notice that Uncyc's never-popular Fantasy Football league is about to embark on its second season, and has begun the draft process necessary to create the teams that will be taking part. So far, the results have surpassed the expectations of all except noted optimist Bradaphraser. Three days in, and seven of the record fourteen competitors have picked a single player each, making this the slowest process since BP started trying to cap that goddamn oil leak. This year's competition promises to be more open than the last, including as it does Joe9320, who admits to knowing nothing about the sport, preferring AFL, and noted British namby-pamby "soccer" fan UU, who has somehow agreed to become an Indianapolis Colts fan for the duration of the season. Hence his adding a picture of what he is assured is the awesome Peyton Manning into this very article. With the likes of the here-one-week-gone-for-a-month Gerrycheevers also involved in the process, it could well end up taking long enough to be ready by the start of the 2011-12 season.

Check out these pages! You're new, aren't you? I have this way of telling Fighting the good fight: a beginner's guide Someone returns, creates forum From our logs: 07:55, 3 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Ethine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1000 seconds ‎ (I'm seeing the words "Added category!" when I sleep now) 14:44, 29 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 195.74.132.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I'm sure Emma is a really nice girl when you get to know her. Ask her out for some coffee or something. And when you guys fuck, don't post about that here either.) 00:14, 28 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.9.0.0/16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (I got bored, so I decided to block 2/3 of Norway. Bug an admin in IRC and they'll unblock you, maybe.) Biopic of the Week Some user was just some user who created Uncycloversity, Unquotable, and had the world's greatest departure message from Uncyclopedia. Despite only having been at Uncyclopedia long enough for everyone to cry when he left, Some user brought a plethora of knowledge to Uncyclopedia. He taught us all how to find our inner sockpuppet and be humble, the former of which has duped countless users into earning lengthy bans and the latter of which was laughed at out of confusion and then soon forgotten. He also taught us all about the laws that protect one's anonymity on the internet, reminding us that the internet is a safe, anonymous world. Fact: every time a person uses a proxy, God makes a rainbow. Sexy 'Crat of the Week Mhaille is quite possibly the reason why all sysops on Uncyclopedia are assumed to be sexy. Going by his South Park likeness here (have you added yours?), his excitingly furrowed brow speaks of smouldering hidden depths, his trim goatee teamed with his unkempt hair hints at the animal nature he so barely keeps in check, his narrowed eyes show he's always ready for action... Face it folks: the man drips sex. Being banned by him is actually illegal in twelve American states as being too erotic.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:56, 5 August 2010

Congratulations

On your latest featured article! :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Dear Valued Mafia Member,

Dear Valued Mafioso,

I am very sorry to be encroaching on your talkpage. Please feel free to move this message without incurring the wrath of the mob. You are, whether you remember or not, a member of the Uncyclopedia Mafia. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, the Family has been inactive recently. However, members of the Family believe that now is the time for our little business to burst back into the spotlight.

Mafia 2.0 promises:

• MORE violence
• MORE whores
• MORE gambling
• MORE guns
• MORE pointless awards
• MORE positions to be filled
• MORE of an actual purpose

The Mafia Pledge:

The Uncyclopedia mafia hereby declares its intention to be a family business dedicated to welcoming, socialising with and being friendly to new users, in an attempt to integrate them into the Uncyclopedia community, offering help to any Uncyclopedia user who wants assistance and looking to promote merriment within the Uncyclopedia community.

As a current member we are proposing that you should help the Family, once more, by becoming an active member. We humbly present you with the following options:

1. Simply reply here, saying you are willing to continue being a member of the Mafia.
2. Sign the code {{u|<insert name here>}} here to opt out of the Mafia.
3. If you do not reply within ten (10) days you will deemed inactive and stripped of your current full Mafia membership.
4. Reply here saying you are willing to continue as part of the Mafia and then request one of the several senior roles within the Mafia that need filling at my office.

As of 21:44 7 August 2010 the following roles within the Mafia require filling. If you would like one of the positions please request it at the above mentioned office.

• Personal Secretary to the Don (with special privileges)
• Capo Bastone (deputy to the Don)
• Chariman of the Italian branch of the family
• Capo Bastone Delegato (deputy to the Capo Bastone)

Yours Sincerely,
Don Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
[18:29 7 August 2010]

A letter from Filmmakers for Lens Flare

Thanks for supporting Lens flare! Sir MacMania GUN—[20:03 11 Aug 2010]

PS The FLF rep tells me that you had your losing many a race coming to you. I say off with his flare-crazy head. Sir MacMania GUN—[20:03 11 Aug 2010]

How is my old noob?

How are you? —COLONEL CLUSTER FUCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [11:09 16 August 2010]

Tap

Greets! I think Funnybony gotten rid of the Spinal Tap jokes on his VFH page, or he at least left you a note, or something. Someone needs to make a new Spinal Tap reunion movie, an old man's tour type of film. Aleister 17:39 16 8

Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

Aug 19thish, 2010 • Issue 92 • Does anyone actually read this bit?

UnReviews - get involved! By UU UnReviews is the latest portal-style page on Uncyclopedia. The brainchild of Skinfan13, and first introduced to the world via this forum, it gathers together all of the reviews that are not pee-related on the wiki into one handy place - verily, it's the page of the future! And it needs YOUR help! Yes, good idea though it seems to be, it does lack one fairly insignificant ingredient - there aren't actually all that many UnReviews to fill it up with. So how can YOU help? Well, we would have thought that was obvious, to be honest, but as we're dealing with Uncyclopedians here, we'll make it a little clearer: write an UnReview! You could go down the road of Modus's magnum opus UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight, and make a movie review, you could get all cultured on our asses, and go Shakespearian, or you could review something else entirely. The choice is, quite literally, yours! Something helpful this way comes By UU Need a hand making your page more awesome? In need of a formatting injection, or some kind of audio enhancement? Well, help may just be at hand. MeepStarLives has decided to create a one-stop portal for all requests of this nature. If this actually works, it could be something beautiful, quite frankly. TKF has already started the ball rolling with a challenging audio request which is likely to be an early acid test for the project. If you have a Casio keyboard and some decent audio skills, get across there and get this thing working! So, how can you get involved? Well, if you are skilled at adding awesome to pages in some way, watchlist the page, check it regularly, and stop hogging your wiki-fu to yourself! If you are in need of added awesomeness on your page, pop in a request and see what happens. If nothing else, it'll make Meep feel good about himself, and that's what it's all about, when you get right down to it. Right?

Check out these pages! Did the leprechaun tell you to burn things? Finally, something worth voting on! Classy! From our logs: 06:45, 12 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 66.110.140.189 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Don't blank pages, take drugs, or steal cars) 03:16, 9 August 2010 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) blocked Roman Dog Bird's Vag Stank (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (probably a troll, although the username could totally be a coincidence) 16:26, 8 August 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Hyperbole (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (taking top spot on the Hall of Shame.....might consider the need for a longer ban.....) Biopic of the Week Perhaps some of you remember Sir Cornbread. I barely do. I do remember how he made the Village Dump smell pleasant...well, as pleasant as the wafting, mixed aromas of stale cornbread and garbage can be. During his tenure at Uncyclopedia, Mr. Cornbread only had two features: rap and The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah. We're certain that if he would've stuck around he'd have 68,027.5 features, putting everyone else to shame but not rubbing it in our faces because I vaguely remember him being a nice guy or something. Now, this sounds ridiculous because Uncyclopedia only has 25,000 or so articles at present, but trust me on this one: this guy could write. Like many great writers, Sir Cornbread wrote about topics he knew a lot about: hermaphrodites, unoriginality, ape-shit craziness, Thais, and was working on an article about ape-shit crazy Thai hermaphrodites. But as is usually the case with all great writers on Uncyclopedia, only the good die leave young early. The ones who stay are just kidding themselves.

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--ChiefjusticeXBox360 12:00, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hey

This.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  03 Sep 2010 ~ 02:06 (UTC)

er, the Unlegal thing.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  04 Sep 2010 ~ 02:40 (UTC)

So

What exciting new project are you planning on working on....sadly Emo Rap only got a "quasi".... :( -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

The most difficult one of them all - sulking, keeping out of Uncyc. -- Style  Guide 12:47, September 6, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

Sept 9th, 2010 • Issue 93 • Our definition of "weekly" may not match yours

The pee is weak - must be time for Pee Week! By UU It's been an unusually long stretch without any kind of competition recently, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that! Co-incidentally, the pee queue is as long it's been in aaaaages, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that too! Yes, it would appear to be nearly time for the inaugural Uncyclopedia Pee Week! It starts on Monday 13th September. So, the questions must be asked: Do you have an opinion, and want to give others the benefit of it? Do you want to help people who are looking for help with their articles? Do you want to get a shiny new template award thingy? If the answer to at least one of those questions is "yes", you could be on your way to winning this soon-to-be prestigious competition! Just sign up here, and prepare to review as you've never reviewed before! The best of the 5.5 years super-extravaganza begins! By UU As we all know, there is nothing the average Uncyclopedian enjoys more than voting. Except possibly causing drama, but we'll gloss over that for the purposes of this article, because an unprecedented new opportunity to vote has arisen, thanks to amphibious serial-killer TKF. That's right, on the fifth of every month, a new vote will start to determine the best somethingorother of the 5.5 years that Uncyc has been in existence. This month's vote is already open, and it's for the writer of the 5.5 years. So get over there, vote, and make your voice heard! Again. Asked for his feelings on seeing his brainchild getting off the ground like this, TKF exclusively told us: "My grand-uncle used to tell me "He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!" and I feel that's somehow relevant to this situation." Anyone pointing out that by the time this finishes, Uncyclopedia will be around 6 years old will be asked not to point it out again. UnNews main page By Socky Someone suggested to completely revamp the UnNews main page and in an epic move of Uncyclopedia originality, decided to hold a vote on it. Some people farted.

Check out these pages! Wikia sucks, part 469 In other news, The Pope's a Catholic Insert lie here The very pinnacle of humour From our logs: 06:16, 8 September 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.137.241.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You suck. Flaxmere too.) 04:13, 31 August 2010 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 96.30.32.33 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (congratulations on bringing to our attention the fact you are a moron. you win a ban!) 05:47, 29 August 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Vertiqual (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Hey now, some of my best friends suck a lot of cock.) 18:46, 27 August 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) resurrected Mordillo (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Thank god I'm in Israel then!) 18:25, 27 August 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (According to my calculations, it's Shabbat in the 'Dam. Therefore, if you unblock yourself, you'll go to Hell. Ha ha ha!) 17:09, 21 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Magic man (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 15 Minutes ‎ (Update the score when you vote on VFH, cleaning up after you wears out my slippers) 02:44, 19 August 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked DarkWalrus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Poor edits, won't listen to advice, continuos ICU removal, smells really bad, etc. etc. god damn) Biopic of the Week It's time to cover a true legend of the wiki this week, a name that still inspires awed whispers wherever connoisseurs of pee are gathered together: the one, the only One-eyed Jack! OEJ, as he is more handily known, was for some time pretty much the only person who bothered to do any pee reviews at all. Fortunately, the ones he did were pretty awesome. And he had plenty of knowledge to back him up, having birthed some seriously good featured articles. But Jack didn't just write for features - he turned his hand to improvement - check his userpage to see just how many below-par articles across the wiki had the benefit of his gently healing touch, nudging their prose from lame to lollable with a deft sprinkle of goodness. Man, we need more people like this guy. Where is he now, anyways? Old-school featured article of the week go eat shit fuckers

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:50, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

You voted in support of antinatalism. The future totalitarian world government will make sure to have you sterilized. Thanks for participating in saving the planet! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:10, 13 September 2010

Not seen much of you lately...

How're things? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:28, September 15, 2010 (UTC)

Another crappy dust-gatherer to shove into the cupboard and forget about

Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ way!
In recognition of your fine decision to vote for Bulimic Barbee™ to become a Featured Article™ on Uncyclopedia™, the Crappel Corporation™ (USA™) are pleased to award you a FREE six month membership of their Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ Way weight loss program.
To demonstrate the benefits of our Diet™, please enjoy these delicious Lo-Cal™ Bulimic Barbee™ Potato Crisps™!

(Please Note: By accepting this FREE Introductory Gift™, you have agreed to sign up for a further two years on the Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ Way program (priced at just $3000 per month) once your six month free period has expired.)

---

PERKELE

Why do you have to log off the second I switch back to the irc window? Bad, bad, Finn... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:11, 7 Oct

Jatkan tätä samaa. Meen ny saunaan, mutta sitten voisi olla aikaa turista paskaa tai pomppia asiasta kukkaruukkuun yms yms... ^_^ ...mutta saattaapi saunalonkerot ehtiä eka päähän, että jos unohdan, älä kato pahalla. JESH! *hik* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 16:06, 15 Oct

Hi Multiliteralist..

One or two TAW judges have had to drop out this week and I wanted to ask if you might have time to judge one of the categories? MadMax 11:37, October 15, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

Nov 11th, 2010 • Issue 94 • The Newspaper that shaves you closer!

The UnSignpost Rides Again! By Chief A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, the Rebels attained victory over the Imperial Empire and the last UnSignpost flopped onto talk pages. The drought came as Under user announced that he had a life to be getting on with, and at that point the UnSignpost simply stopped writing itself. Some people have suggested that these two events may be linked somehow, but until we see proof, we have resolved to live in ignorance. However as we hurtle towards the end of the year it would seem the magic has returned and the newspaper that confusingly contains neither news or paper will once again be arriving on talk pages weekly monthly annually whenever we can manage it. Newer recipients of the UnSignpost are urged to suggest ideas for stories in the press room; this helps as it means we don't need to pay attention to anything you people do every day. For now, please welcome the UnSignpost back into your homes and hearts... please? Speak up! By Chief For those of you who may be unfamiliar with The Article Whisperer, permit me to clear the waters somewhat with this bit of text I have, at great personal risk, copied off the competition page. It is: "An annual writing competition held by Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles", which I think we can all agree is absolutely splendid. Unfortunately, all our intrepid journalists were saving Kittens from trees and generally performing heroic deeds when the competition took place, but that won't stop us from talking about it. Lyrithya and Matfen were the biggest winners, or losers depending on how you look at it, each being Grand Champion of two categories. Competition founder MadMax was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press, so we have made something up instead: "The competition was a great success and I would like to thank everyone who took part; especially ChiefjusticeDS who is absolutely fantastic and whom I owe many drinks", he might have said. The Article Whisperer is expected to take place again next year, and MadMax might have said "Take part or die", but probably not. The Aristocrat's By Chief & Mhaille Few competitions stir the loins more than The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, self described as Uncyclopedia's festival of frivolity and bad taste. The competition has three categories: The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball Best Bad Taste Article The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery If you aren't a writer (we are led to believe some people are not), then 3 Judges are needed for each of the above categories (see here). Seriously, this will be so much fun you will wish we did it twice a year... maybe. The competition opens on November 19th, so put on a stout pair of writing trousers and get going!

Check out these pages! Bed Never on Sunday Anything interesting happening? Zombiebaron That's so 2005 From our logs: 16:29, November 10, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 seconds ‎ (You're reviving the Signpost? Good luck! Now to think of a witty ban reason to get me in the "From Our Logs" section. Penis. That ought to do it. It would if I was editing it.) 04:27, November 10, 2010 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.181.83.75 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Normally you'd probably be reading a witty message from an admin. Obviously, I'm not one of those admins. Gotta tell you, you're missing out.) 10:36, November 9, 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.42.244.217 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (List 350 reasons why I should care about your birthday, and I'll reverse the ban.) 08:10, November 10, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked EatPoo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Alas, dear sir, you are afflicted with the stupid) 16:31, November 10, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 years ‎ (Stop being supposedly here and BE HERE. YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART) Biopic of the Week Do you hear that? Thought not, because this week we are taking a closer look at one of Uncyclopedia's true unsung heroes, Black flamingo. He has a whopping 12.5 feature credits; that's more than 5 feature credits and 6 feature credits put together! Not only that, but Black flamingo has been instrumental in keeping Pee Review afloat while you weren't. Respect this man immediately or I will punch a Zebra, that's how committed I am to getting him recognised. Head over to his talk page right now and doff your helm. Now, dammit! Don't make me fetch the Zebra. Old-school featured article of the week The term "Paul is dead" (PID) refers to an urban legend or a hoax perpetrated either on the musical group The Beatles by their fans or vice-versa. According to the legend, bass guitarist and singer Paul McCartney was replaced by a lookalike after his alleged death in an auto accident in the mid-60s. Proponents of this hoax cite obscure clues embedded within the Beatles' lyrics, symbolism in their album covers, and Wings as evidence that the "real" Paul didn't survive into the 1970s. This manuscript reveals the full chilling truth. I've read it, and it will blow your tiny mind.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Good to see you lurking, there you are!

Interesting new signature. Reminds me of my mom's home cooking, and the days back on the shanty barge. Thanks. Aleister 15:30 12 11

Just to ask...

Did your post in the Grue Army Recruitment forum mean you wanted to join? --High Gen. Meganew (Stuff I've Done) (Chat With Me) (Get an Award!) FORCES ENLIST MUN 15:56, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

No/yes/maybe. If it requires nothing, I might just as well join... but do you need inert members? -- Style  Guide 18:24, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

The only thing you have to do is report the good stuff you do, such as QVFDing, Pee Reviewing, vandal reporting, etc, and you'll rise up the ranks, getting more money for each rank. And if you don't, you still get 150 credits a month, so no worry. High Gen. Meganew (Stuff I've Done) (Chat With Me) (Get an Award!) FORCES ENLIST MUN 21:30, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

Um... do I live on 150 a month? Because I really am a terrible sloth. -- Style  Guide 06:21, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

I don't know... Do you? If you make it to Sergeant, then you'll get 250 per month, and if you make it to Admiral, you get 500 per month. --High Gen. Meganew (Stuff I've Done) (Chat With Me) (Get an Award!) FORCES ENLIST MUN 18:57, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

Just to ask

Who put the bop in the bop she bop she bop? -- Alea iacta est

Read All About It!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

Nov 18th, 2010 • Issue 95 • The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way she/he did!

Wanna cyb3r? By Chief Hailed by some as the final solution to the Uncyclopedia problem and others as a wretched hive of scum and villainy, the Uncyclopedia IRC channel has chugged along for almost the same amount of time Uncyclopedia itself has. We here at the UnSignpost have literally hundreds of stories to sort through every week and we have picked IRC for a reason, and not just because it is easy to spell. We chose it because the Uncyclopedia IRC is a community and often contains users who are never on the site (because they are lazy and idle), equally many users who frequent the site do not enter IRC (because they are idle and lazy), and those who do often prefer to do so in disguise. This is a disgrace, don't ask why, it just is. Our intrepid reporters have spent literally minutes on IRC this week in order to bring news of it to you, the uneducated and unwashed masses and to try and encourage you to make use of it. Whatever you want to use it for: reporting vandals, penis jokes, collaboration, penis jokes and incoherent babbling; IRC is there for you. It is also a way to get to know the dull uninteresting personalities behind the exciting usernames, but don't let that put you off. When our intrepid reporter delved into the IRC community and asked the first person breathing in and out for a quote about IRC they told us "..." which should certainly give you food for thought. If you have some time on your hands then why not learn how to windsurf? But if you are too idle and lazy then why not head on over to IRC and see the magic happening for yourself? I would and if I would it must be a good idea. Balls up! By Chief The stage is seated, the judges are set and the competitors are questionable in number, yes The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is almost upon us. The competition opens this Friday and entries will be accepted until December the 3rd which is... a little while after that. Our hard-hitting journalists will be present at the competition and will be speaking to entrants and judges alike over the next few weeks. Just think; if you take part your name could be in italic font in the UnSignpost! Think about how envious your friends and family will be! Remember, it begins on the 19th of November and we want to see blood! We need you! Shameless pleading by: ChiefjusticeDS The UnSignpost is like an office printer, in that it constantly breaks down, sometimes doesn't work for months at a time and occasionally spews out some slightly smudged pages. If you think you have something to bring to the UnSignpost be it your journalistic talent, ideas for stories or even just a warm and reassuring slap in the face, feel free to drop us a line in the press room. Also Meganew wanted us to mention the Grue Army in the UnSignpost, so we have.

Check out these pages! We're the worst in another way! Why?:Not Vote now! It's not as bad as you think! From our logs: 05:54, November 14, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked POPEYE FUCK U UP (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (1) You suck. 2) Stop sucking.) 06:10, November 17, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Frozen Korpse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Yes, Mordillo is the worst. That's no reason to be rude.) 17:01, November 12, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.109.64.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (I'll have some gay porn if you're going to the shop) 3:32, November 14, 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.0.147.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (I'M HAVING A FRIENDSHIP ANEURYSM) Biopic of the Week Know who it is yet? Know what time they were last here? No? Then you should probably be able to guess that this week we are looking at Aleister in Chains. Al has been hanging around Uncyclopedia for just under a year now, and in that time has picked up 25 feature credits and has earned the eternal hatred of many for his enduring good humour and incredibly annoying signature timestamps. If Aleister hasn't been responsible for a single one of your chuckles over the last year then you need to start reading some of his articles, that or cancel your afternoon appointments as you have died and failed to notice. I wouldn't recommend you post on his talk page or look at his user page as they are both just plain weird, offer respect, but don't doff your helm, you never know what might end up in it. Overlooked Page of the Week Things to do. Easing the pain in your pants since 2007. Newsroom UnTune of the week The Uncyclopedian's song

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeXBox360 14:32, November 18, 2010 (UTC)