User:Scott/conservative

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the liberal-free encyclopedia that Jesus can edit.
40,685 articles in American English

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Today's Featured Article

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Heat some water, put in an egg, wait a few minutes, take it out. On the surface, it seems easy to boil an egg, but underneath this speckled shell of complacency there lies a real challenge. How does one make the perfect soft-boiled egg? Everyone has their own preferred method, so Uncyclopedia gathered together the greatest chefs in the world to ponder this simplest, yet most complicated, of questions. (Full article...)

Did you know...

  • ...Evolution is a lie
  • ...abortion is murder
  • ...That Wikipedia has a Liberal Bias
  • ...non-Christians are going to spend an entrinty in hell?
  • ...God will send gays to hell?
  • ...There was a connection between 9/11 and Iraq

In the news

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Well, that says a lot...

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys

Recent deaths: Ozzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndromeTom LehrerThe systemFUBARCartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence StampThe Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet slothJoe Burrow's toe • Robert Redford

Upcoming deaths: DEIR. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger (in jail) • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan BergmanDallas Cowboys' and Cincinnati Bengals' seasons • MSNBCLil Nas XDonald TrumpWindows 10

On this day...

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September 22: Autumnal Unquinox

  • 1465 - Aztec tourists discover autumn in the resort town of Equinox, Vermont.
  • 1785 - Britain fails to recognise this day any longer, after realising that "the weather's always crap, every bloody day!"
  • 1867 - New Englanders genetically modify trees to change colors in autumn, as part of a plan to lure Southern tourists back North after the Civil War. The plan fails when the first Southern tourists complain about the integration of colored trees with non-colored trees.
  • 1960 - Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham is first published, provoking the law that Best Before Date stickers are to be put on all eggs and ham. This law was later extended to include all perishable food items and Michael Jackson's career.
  • 2001 - The Federal Communications Commission places largely ignored ban on the use of Fall as a synonym for Autumn, citing complaints by family members of September 11 victims.

Today's featured picture

Chocolate Hitler
Chocolate Hitler is "...very yummy," says four year old Katrina.

Image credit: Splaka
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images


Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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