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Bienvenu, wilkomen, welcome to Europedia,
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Today's democratically-elected high quality article
Have you, dear reader, found yourself chained to an aging confectionery monstrosity, its pipes wheezing, its vats bubbling ominously, its accountants sobbing quietly in the walls? Has a government man (always beige! always damp!) slid a letter under your door explaining that thirty percent of your life’s work now belongs to them?
Thirty percent!
That’s not a tax, that’s getting bent over and done up your rear!
*tips hat, snaps cane against the floor*
Fear not. Willy Wonker is here. And I assure you, I have handled this exact situation with the grace of a ballerina and the ethics of a feral raccoon. (Full article...)
Yesterday's featured article
In Pasticle Physics, antipasta is composed of anti-ingredients in the same way that pasta is composed of ingredients. For example, an antiegg and some antiwheat with a bit of antiwater can form an antipasta dough. It is potentially life-threatening to consume antipasta without extreme safety measures and a bit of luck. This is because when an anti-food particle comes into contact with a positive particle (for example a human's tongue) the two particles annihilate each other releasing a tremendous amount of energy (the equivalent of 1,000,000 spurts of explosive diarrhea after bad Mexican food). This means the more antiparmesan you add onto a mountain of antispaghetti, the more likely your body will paint the walls and ceiling before you finish eating it. Whilst an exciting, even an arousing proposal, it is a little too dangerous for most people (even if you have a little chub just thinking about anti-tortelini) and seen as reckless and hedonistic by conservative foodies.With excessive care, one can enjoy anti-rigatoni and most likely keep their stomach intact, their head on their shoulders and not shit out anti-blood. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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*... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
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