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Did you know...

*... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

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In the news
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured) NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
April 14: Pull My Finger Day 13 - Repairs begin after worst Friday the 13th ever. 1215 - Magna Carta signed, giving the Red Baron the right to bake pizza on his warplane. 1654 - On this Sunday, by a freak coincidence, no-one turned up to church at all, anywhere. Excuses cited include "washing cart" and "wife pregnant". 1936 - Hitler's girlfriend Eva Braun buys a "really cute armband" for the big rally. 1967 - Yoko Ono forms her renegade militant group "The Plastic Renegades" with the objective of destroying all good music in the universe. 1987 - Miracle Whip deemed "less than miraculous" by the FDA. (Pictured) 2007 - Captain obvious says something hilariously astute. 2011 - Encyclopedia Dramatica dies, and nothing of value is lost. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Featured picture

DaVinci's Hewlett-Packard printer was to be the undoing of his most famous work, resulting in what art scholars have termed the "Mono Lisa."

Hewlett Packard were unavailable for comment as the CEO was busy discussing a merger with Ferrari to create the world's first petrol powered printer.
DaVinci is said to be in a closed door meeting with Dan Brown to discuss the implications of this event.
Image credit: Nonymous
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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