Road Rage
PICK A FUCKING SIDE, ASSWIT! Anyways, road rage is what happens when THESE FUCKTARDS NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE! DRIVE OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE, YOU CUNTFLUFF! As I was saying, when mommy and daddy really love each- Oh, sorry, wrong article. So road rage is what happens when somebody driving bothers another driver. It is a very serious thing, and should be MY UNBORN FUCKING BABY CAN DRIVE BETTER THAN YOU, UNEMPLOYED ASSWIPE! Like I was saying, it should be avoided at all costs. Life is precious after all. DIE YOU USELESS CYCLIST! YOU'RE TAKING UP THE WHOLE FUCKING LANE, ASSTARD!
Causes
Road Rage is caused by YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR POCKET? CAUSE YOU SURE AS FUCK ARE FEELING COCKY, YOU ASSCLOWN! *ahem* People thinking they're better than every other driver on the road. In most scenarios, the rager is the worse driver, like this fucker BEHIND ME! GET THAT PIECE OF SHIT OFF THE ROAD, MOTHERFUCKER! Woah, almost hit that group of children there. Don't contribute to this by being a SHIT DRIVER! TAKE YOUR GODDAMN SIGNAL OFF, YA CUNTFLUFF!
Results
Road ragers are often some of the most intelligent people on Earth, unlike THIS RETARD! ARE YOU DRIVING A FUCKING LAWNMOWER? SPEED IT UP, UNEMPLOYED ASSWIPE! They will not hesitate to fuck your shit up. Majorly. Most road ragers are very determined, and will not stop pursuing an aggressor for several hundred miles, like this TAILGATING FUCK! GET ON THE FUCKING SIDEWALK! YOU HEARD ME! KNEES TO CHEST, RASIN DICK! .
WHAT'S THIS FUCKER DOING?!
Hey, you in the piece-of-shit '97 Corolla! Yeah, you! GOING 80 ON THESE TWISTY LITTLE ROADS? GET TORN TO SHREDS BY A FUCKING BEAR, FUDDRUCKER! You wanna fucking go?!? WHAT THE HELL? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU RUN ME OFF THE ROAD?!? I'LL FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS! YOU FUCKING ASKED FOR IT,ASSCLOWN! GET READY TO SAY GOODNIGHT! Wait, is that a fucking KNIFE?! Hey no need to get aggressive. I just wanted to have a civil conversation.[Citation desprately needed] WHY, GOD, WHY? HEY, WHAT'S THAT FUCKER IN THE FORD F-150 DOING?! HEY, THERE'S THESE THINGS CALLED LANES, DID YOU KNOW THAT, JIMBO WALES WANNABE? Wait, NOOOO! LET'S TALK THIS THROUGH!!! NOT THE HANDS! WHAT THE FUCK! WHY THE FUCKING WINDOW? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST ME FAGGOT?!!? OH, GOD IT HURTS!! OW OW OW OW! MAKE IT STOP! AAAAA-
See also
 | Article written in the style of its subject This article is funny because it is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is because you are an ignorant cultural philistine on account of having not consumed the same media the writer has. Shame on you. |
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