Road Rage

You think you're so cool, in your little piss-fueled fuckwagon? LEARN HOW TO DRIVE, YOU OVERRATED DICKMUNCH !

PICK A FUCKING SIDE, ASSWIT! Anyways, road rage is what happens when THESE FUCKTARDS NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE! PULL THAT BACKWARDS-ASS HILLBILLY BULLSHIT IN FRONT OF A COP, ASSDICK ! As I was saying, when mommy and daddy really love each- Oh, sorry, wrong article. So road rage is what happens when somebody driving bothers another driver. It is a very serious thing, and should be USE YOUR FUCKING BLINKER, PIZZA-COVERED LAWN CHAIR ! Like I was saying, it should be avoided at all costs. Life is precious after all. DIE YOU USELESS CYCLIST! YOU'RE TAKING UP THE WHOLE FUCKING LANE, THIMBLEDICK !

Causes

Often a result of road rage. YOU HEAR THAT, YOU DICKFACE! GOING 80 ON THESE TWISTY LITTLE ROADS? GET TORN TO SHREDS BY A FUCKING BEAR, DICK-ASSED FACE-HEAD !

Road Rage is caused by YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR POCKET? CAUSE YOU SURE AS FUCK ARE FEELING COCKY, YOU WEASEL-DICK ! *ahem* People thinking they're better than every other driver on the road. In most scenarios, the rager is the worse driver, like this fucker BEHIND ME! GET ON THE FUCKING SIDEWALK! YOU HEARD ME! KNEES TO CHEST, TURKEY BURGER ! Woah, almost hit that group of children there. Don't contribute to this by being a SHIT DRIVER! GET THAT PIECE OF SHIT OFF THE ROAD, MOTHERFUCKER !

Results

Flip me off, eh, you little fuckferret? I'll fucking show you! DRIVE OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE, YOU SAND TAMPON !

Road ragers are often some of the most intelligent people on Earth, unlike THIS RETARD! PICK A FUCKING SIDE, ASSWALLLOP ! They will not hesitate to fuck your shit up. Majorly. Most road ragers are very determined, and will not stop pursuing an aggressor for several hundred miles, like this TAILGATING FUCK! MY UNBORN FUCKING BABY CAN DRIVE BETTER THAN YOU, THIMBLEDICK ! .

Some drivers carry turtles in their cars.

WHAT'S THIS FUCKER DOING?!

Hey, you in the piece-of-shit '97 Corolla! Yeah, you! DRIVE OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE, YOU FUCK UDDER ! You wanna fucking go?!? WHAT THE HELL? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU RUN ME OFF THE ROAD?!? I'LL FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS! YOU FUCKING ASKED FOR IT, ASSDICK ! GET READY TO SAY GOODNIGHT! Wait, is that a fucking KNIFE?! Hey no need to get agressive. I just wanted to have a civil conversation. WHY, GOD, WHY? HEY, WHAT'S THAT FUCKER IN THE FORD F-150 DOING?! GET THAT PIECE OF SHIT OFF THE ROAD, DIAPERWIT ! Wait, NOOOO! LET'S TALK THIS THROUGH!!! NOT THE HANDS! WHAT THE FUCK! WHY THE FUCKING WINDOW? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST ME FAGGOT?!!? OH, GOD IT HURTS!! OW OW OW OW! MAKE IT STOP! AAAAA-

See also

• Tourette's Syndrome
• Drill sergeant
• Driving

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