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Road Rage

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You think you're so cool, in your little piss-fueled fuckwagon? YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR POCKET? CAUSE YOU SURE AS FUCK ARE FEELING COCKY, YOU JACKHOLE!

PICK A FUCKING SIDE, ASSWIT! Anyways, road rage is what happens when THESE FUCKTARDS NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE! MY UNBORN FUCKING BABY CAN DRIVE BETTER THAN YOU, WEASEL-DICK! As I was saying, when mommy and daddy really love each- Oh, sorry, wrong article. So road rage is what happens when somebody driving bothers another driver. It is a very serious thing, and should be STAY IN THE LINES, DRY SHITSTAIN! LIKE A FUCKING COLORING BOOK! Like I was saying, it should be avoided at all costs. Life is precious after all. DIE YOU USELESS CYCLIST! YOU'RE TAKING UP THE WHOLE FUCKING LANE, WEASEL-DICK!

Causes

Often a result of road rage. YOU HEAR THAT, YOU DICKFACE? MAYBE GRADUATE PRESCHOOL BEFORE YOU DRIVE THAT THING, YOU TURKEY BURGER!

Road Rage is caused by PEDAL TO THE FUCKING METAL, YOU TURDLICKER! *ahem* People thinking they're better than every other driver on the road. In most scenarios, the rager is the worse driver, like this fucker BEHIND ME! YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR POCKET? CAUSE YOU SURE AS FUCK ARE FEELING COCKY, YOU DICKWIPE! Woah, almost hit that group of children there. Don't contribute to this by being a SHIT DRIVER! GET THAT PIECE OF SHIT OFF THE ROAD, SHITKICKER!


Results

Flip me off, eh, you little fuckferret? I'll fucking show you! YOU TRYING TO NASCAR THIS AND CAUSE A CRASH, YOU ASSTARD?!

Road ragers are often some of the most intelligent people on Earth, unlike THIS RETARD! GET ON THE FUCKING SIDEWALK! YOU HEARD ME! KNEES TO CHEST, DRY SHITSTAIN! They will not hesitate to fuck your shit up. Majorly. Most road ragers are very determined, and will not stop pursuing an aggressor for several hundred miles, like this TAILGATING FUCK! HEY, THERE'S THESE THINGS CALLED LANES, DID YOU KNOW THAT, FAT BASTARD? .

Some drivers carry turtles in their cars.

WHAT'S THIS FUCKER DOING?!

Hey, you in the piece-of-shit '97 Corolla! Yeah, you! USE YOUR FUCKING BLINKER, MOUSECOCK! You wanna fucking go?!? WHAT THE HELL? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU RUN ME OFF THE ROAD?!? I'LL FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS! YOU FUCKING ASKED FOR IT, PIZZA-COVERED LAWN CHAIR! GET READY TO SAY GOODNIGHT! Wait, is that a fucking KNIFE?! Hey no need to get aggressive. I just wanted to have a civil conversation.[Citation desprately needed] WHY, GOD, WHY? HEY, WHAT'S THAT FUCKER IN THE FORD F-150 DOING?! YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR POCKET? CAUSE YOU SURE AS FUCK ARE FEELING COCKY, YOU NO-BRAINED SQUIDWARD-DICK! Wait, NOOOO! LET'S TALK THIS THROUGH!!! NOT THE HANDS! WHAT THE FUCK! WHY THE FUCKING WINDOW? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST ME FAGGOT?!!? OH, GOD IT HURTS!! OW OW OW OW! MAKE IT STOP! AAAAA-

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See also

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