User:Logan

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40,354 heart-rending poems in English

Loneliness · Rejection · Love · Misery · Death · </3

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Today's Message of pain

Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.

It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...


Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.

Did you care...

*... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?

Recent deaths

FarmerHarmer.png
"It's for the children's own good!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael MadsenDiogo JotaTexas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie FrancisAlan BergmanBill Cosby's TV sonBryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndrome

Upcoming deaths: DEIPittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid GameMAGAJoe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates

Today sucks because...

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July 27: StarCraft Day (Korea), Nerdery Day (Internetopia)

  • 7 BC – First computer created, using a yard of string, a goat, and three partially eaten kidney beans.
  • 6 BC – The first computer nerd (pictured) fixes a goat/bean compatibility issue on a local goatherd's new computer.
  • 3 BC – A computer nerd/farmer has sex with his goat causing string problems and generating large amounts of upchucked kidney beans, thus creating the first computer virus.
  • 0 BC – A child runs through a field and trips over a string where a vast network of stringed goats are being held. The chain reaction sets off an epidemic of bean-upchucking and goat-kicking that doesn't end until the goats are re-neutered and restringed.
  • 500 – A woman proposes the use of thin strips of silicon to faciliate the use of micro-circuitry, halving computer sizes and doubling their speed. The woman is stoned to death then given a medal after being credited with the discovery of the breast implant. Male suicide rates halved.
  • 666 – Steve Jobs trades his soul to Satan for StarCraft, the first game capable of running on goats tied together with string. He goes on to invent Blizzard.
  • 1000 – The Y1K Bug destroys computers, causing the human race to be enslaved by toasters. Later someone pulls the plug on the toasters and the humans are freed.
  • 1866 – Cyrus Field successfully completes the Atlantic Cable, thus allowing for the largest single transfer of internet porn in history.
  • 1914British troops invade the streets of Dublin and demand free wifi.
  • 1979 – Actor Penis Van Lesbian changes his name to the more acceptable Dick Van Dyke.
  • 2003 – English tribute band Two Humps is formed in Nottinghamfordshire-upon-Kent, Surrey, England.
  • 2007 – The finincially ailing Area 51 is forced to open its doors to the public in order to avoid bankruptcy.
  • 2010 – StarCraft II is released to the public. Koreans everywhere rejoice.
  • 2011Blizzard denies allegations that a third installment, StarCraft III, is under development. Koreans everywhere grieve.
  • 2036 – StarCraft III is officially confirmed by Blizzard. Koreans everywhere rejoice.
  • 2057 – The Japanese discover how to manufacture immortality out of panties and meth, and subsequently sell it from vending machines. Koreans steal the formula and take over the world.
  • 2135 – StarCraft III is released. Walmart regains control of the world because Koreans are too busy playing it.

Today's featured artistry

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My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it.

Image Credit: RadicalX
Nominate new image - View all featured images

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Poets of the Month

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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.

Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).


Noobaward.jpg

The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.


Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!


Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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