User:Jishanpeter/Main Page

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Colin Rat Kaepernick is an American professional political activist, clown, police officer, and occasional football player. He played six seasons for the San Francisco 49ers in the National Football League (NFL). As a political activist, Kaepernick stopped standing during the national anthem (a song about the American flag and military) at the start of NFL games in protest of systemic disrespect for police officers in American culture. He also did this to draw more attention to himself in the wake of losing his starting job and being benched for Blaine Gabbert.

Kaepernick played college football for the Reno Wolf Sack, where he was twice named the WAC Most Offensive Person of the Year. After leaving Reno, he was selected by the 49ers in the second round of the 2011 NFL Draft. Kaepernick began his professional football career as a backup quarterback to Alex Smith and became the 49ers' starter in the middle of the 2012 season after Smith did what he does best. Kaepernick then went on to promote himself as much as possible, milking his stardom for all it was worth. (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that Pope Francis (Pictured) played football for Argentina?
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
  • ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?
  • ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
  • ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
  • ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?

In the news

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Clearly not Deion Sanders vouching for his son

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and DeltaruneEurovisionRussian InvasionIsrael-Palestine conflictDOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft MovieTrump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park LinkinGawr GuraToxicityGirl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill SobuleRuth BuzziLeBron James' playoff run

Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi MangioneKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEIGoogle's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom

On this day...

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May 7: International Daintiness Day


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Today's featured picture

Darwin and St. Michael
St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived.

Image credit: Isra1337
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Recent Articles

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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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