User:Beezwax/Deinonychus

Deinonychus was a cute, harmless bird that would come up to people and feed out of their hand. Real fossils from China, and now several videotapes from cavemen, prove this fact. Deinonychus made little squeaky sounds when it wanted to be petted, and it sat on your shoulder and begged for a cracker. Pay no attention to Jurassic Park or any other completely inaccurate representations; the deinonychus was NOT a viscous, hungry meat-eating carnivore. It was a harmless little birdie and at only plants and bugs. Oh yeah, and it huffed kittens too. Make a note of that, college students.

As Pets

Research has shown that deinonychus make very good pets. They make very good pillows with their nice, soft feathers, and you only have to feed them crackers once a day!!! They would never harm a living soul, you know.