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welcum 2 uncyclopedia, da content-free encyclopedia dat steve/i can edit.

sophia haz inspierd us 2 wurk on 35,519 articles since opening in january 2005.

before editin, plz raed da writin guidelines n flamewar manual.


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coolest | everyting | udder crap...

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Sexual innuendo is a hard topic to stay on top of. As a humor tool, it stands erect in the English language. While there are no hard and fast rules as to what constitutes sexual innuendo, many people have mass-debated over the ins-and-outs of the topic, and now the general principles at the root of the topic are firm and well-rounded. However, full penetration of the subject requires that the reader take a long, hard look at the target and be a cunning linguist in order to avoid limp phrases and imbibe the phrase with a large handful of meanings. The topic can become hot by attempting to grasp it, and the more one experiments with it, the more interested they become. Also, as the language changes innuendos must change in order to fill the newly created holes and satisfy listeners.

A common problem with sexual innuendo is the recipient being unable to wrap their hands around the intended meaning. In this case, an individual using sexual innuendo will often start slow and eventually build up, increasing depth more and more until the recipient feels the actual thrust of the point and the innuendo climaxes. An innuendo is always the most pleasing when no one sees it coming, often by entering the mind through the rear. Some skilled people are even able to use several sexual innuendos quickly in succession, resulting in multiple innuendo-esque climaxes. (Full article...)

u can voet 4 you're favorit articlez 2 b feturd.

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Selected anniversaries

Holy Picard.jpg

September 12: Captain Picard Appreciation Day

  • 14,000 BC - Q sends the crew of the USS Enterprise-E back in time to the country of France. Spitting in the face of the Prime Directive once again, Picard teaches the cavemen how to paint on the walls, a trait still exhibited in toddlers.
  • 490 BC - A Greek guy runs 42.195 km from Marathon to Athens, announcing the Persian defeat and survival of Western civilization. Unfortunately, he is overtaken in the last leg by the team from Kenya and has a heart attack.
  • 22 - Museum of Ancient Geese opens
  • 1609 - Mark Smith discovers the Hudson River. Shortly after the discovery, Henry Hudson stabs him and claims it for himself. This is generally considered the fifth greatest coincidence of all time.
  • 1683 - Battle of Vienna - Several European armies join forces to defeat the Ottoman Empire and their allies, the Sultanate of Sofa.
  • 1818 - Richard Gatling, inventor of the gatling gun, is born. By six he has invented a rapid-fire slingshot and by ten, a BB gun featuring a rotating array of twelve barrels.
  • 1940 - Q sends a young Jean-Luc Picard and three of his high school peeps back in time to this date. The group discovers the Lascaux cave paintings.
  • 1951 - Anti-rioting technology goes on display in Paris. Rioting ensues.
  • 1984 - Leonard Bernstein dies for the second time.
  • 1990 - East and West Germany share a tearful Reunion
  • 1991 - The Cold War ends, and many people are left thinking, "it wasn't that cold". It was that cold in Russia.
  • 1997 - This was an actual year??
  • 2001 - Amnesiacs International select the World Trade Center in New York City as the site of their 2002 convention.
  • 2003 - Johnny Cash passes away. But first he shoots a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
  • 2005 - England regain the Ashes, only to realise the next day the whole series was just a dream.

archived aniverserys

In the news

UnNews remembers Lord Zedd
Zedd's dead, baby. Zedd's dead.

currnt stufz

Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons:

raed mor

writer of da munth

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 35,519 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Nub!:

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

4 nonsense related noob chat, see This instructional video.

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