Babel:Nub

welcum 2 uncyclopedia, da content-free encyclopedia dat steve/i can edit.

sophia haz inspierd us 2 wurk on 40,968 articles since opening in january 2005.

before editin, plz raed da writin guidelines n flamewar manual.

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In light of recent tragedies, the National Pet Association has released new warning labels for hazardous dogs.
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The Buffalo Bills are a "professional" football "team". Their home is in Buffalo, New York. They are widely regarded as one of the most successful NFL franchises to exist ever. Their only championships where in 1964 and 1965 when they won two AFL titles. However, the Bills have not won any championships since the AFL–NFL merger, a move that many now consider "a huge fuck up". They were owned by a 93-year-old zombie man who refused to die named Ralph Wilson. In 2014 Wilson finally kicked the bucket, fucking zombie! Buffalo Sabres owner, oil fracker, and resident idiot Terry Pegula bought the team.

The Buffalo Bills are named after Buffalo Bill, a friendly man who lived in the woods all by himself. He would have guests over frequently where they would stay in a well he constructed in his home. They would stay for several days putting lotion on their skin. Bill then proceeded to skin them alive and wear their skin. The founders of the Bills felt this sort of behavior was admirable.(Full article...)

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Selected anniversaries

March 30: International Cleavage Day

13B BC - God creates the Milky Way after squeezing stellar matter out of her insanely big knockers.
1692 - Twelve women are burned at the stake for inciting men to sin with their exposed bra straps.
1867 - America buys Alaska from the Russians because of its stiff Mountain peaks and vast tracts of fertile land.
1945 - Woman wears clothing that shows cleavage. The husband beats her.
1950 - The first film in Indonesia gets released, known for having at least one uncensored boob scene.
1977 - Marvel Comics designs a bra with a nipple window, claims its a proud Kryptonian tradition.
2012 - Big butts are now in! But you still can't be more than 120 pounds. Hey, I don't make the rules.

archived aniverserys

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In the news

Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured)
Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize
- Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah
Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight

Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • DMV-based sitcom canned after people realize they can watch literally anything else • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season

Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too

currnt stufz

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Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons:

... that Cafeteria food (Pictured) is not generally edible?

... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?

raed mor

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Recent articles

mor resent articlez

writer of da munth

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,968 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Farts!:

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