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welcum 2 uncyclopedia, da content-free encyclopedia dat steve/i can edit. sophia haz inspierd us 2 wurk on 36,192 articles since opening in january 2005. before editin, plz raed da writin guidelines n flamewar manual. Browse: sukky shit | gaemz | complex deviecz | ppl | tiny stuff | grammer whorez coolest | everyting | udder crap...

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ROCHESTER, New York – Less than a week into the new year, several polls already indicate that Americans are frightened. According to a recent CNN/ORC Opinion Poll, over 50% of Americans reported being afraid that "some serious shit is about to go down," with an additional 25% saying, "America's going to Hell in a hand-basket!" Several people polled claim someone they know will soon be deceased. Many are also claiming that life is completely hopeless, and that you should just "kill yourself, and everyone around you." Currently, the majority of Americans believe the economy is the number one problem plaguing the nation. Most claim it is getting worse despite the steady decline of first time jobless claims being filed, the increase in jobs created, the increased strength of the stock markets worldwide, and the strengthening of the US dollar against the Euro. One pollster noted very few believe their own economic situation to be in a bad or worsening condition. He also noted the apparent fear felt crosses party lines, but the indecisive, easily influenced independent voters seem to be the most scared. (Full news...) Recently featured: UnNews:"Starve the Beast", Trump says Joseph Stalin Extinctionism Jerusalem (article) Archive · Vote for featured articles · u can voet 4 you're favorit articlez 2 b feturd. da kool stufz edit Selected anniversaries November 24: Pete Best's Birthday (UK) 1941 - Pete Best is kicked out of mother's womb. Mother auditions George Best as possible replacement in the family. 1955 - Learns to play drums. Snares, bass and drumsticks go off and socialize with one another, leaving Best out. 1962 - George stares icily at Best during a performance; Paul kicks his drum set during rehearsal; John hires Epstein solely to fire Best. 1962 - Best kicked out of the Beatles, house, and UK. Elizabeth II says her kingdom "wants to go in a new direction." 1970 - John, Paul, George and Ringo join Best in the "Ex-Beatles" group. 2012 - Best celebrates 50th anniversary of Love Me Do release. archived aniverserys	edit In the news "Gimme a B flat, Jack." Thanksgiving is cancelled (again) Trump urges Van Helsing: STOP THE COUNT! (Pictured) Joe Biden wins, CNN calls it "fake news" Dewey defeats Kanye Dollar Tree shit smear mystery solved Anti-maskers ignore Halloween Facemasks are a conspiracy by Silver Shamrock This week's horoscopes! UnNews remembers Eddie Van Halen Mr. Krabs's tax returns released Trump has the hoax virus CDC recommends eating boogers Kanye West talks about Rolling Stone's new 500 Greatest Albums list Joe Biden to remake The Mask Middle Eastern journalists cannot wait for the 9/11 20th anniversary Biden being controlled by Dark Shadows Conways take political break in order to watch Urkel reruns Satanic heavy metal drummer becomes born-again Christian Trump's vocabulary reaches 50 words Van Morrison's brain dies of COVID-19 Trump attacks derpy pony US replaces SATs with CAPTCHA Q announces peace between Q's and Q Biden announces dead wrestler Kamala as running mate Biden selects Strong Woman as running mate UnNews remembers Ennio Morricone Supreme Court to David Byrne: "This is not your beautiful wife" The Big Bang Theory pulled for being pizza-face Your favorite show is renewed for 9th season The Police shorten band name to "The" over controversy TV's Cops cancelled 25 years too late Pink Floyd killed by coronavirus Kalifornische Beamte erklären das Ego von Elon Musk für wesentlich Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization Your cat's gonna kill you Christof from The Truman Show dies aged 74 currnt stufz edit Did you know... From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons: ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West? raed mor
edit Recent articles Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary Statement of faith Baka the Master Builder Baboon John Cena Africa (Toto song) UnReviews:Terminator 6 Fall Out Boy (5 billionth rewrite) Chevy Chase Christmas Jingle All the Way of the Gun (rewrite) Staind Halloween (2018 film) Patti Smith Ali Khamenei Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (retitled rewrite) Art's True Meanings Fear Factory Faith No More How Do You Solve A Problem Like Thomas Becket Bookshelf Tad Queens of the Stone Age The Larry Sanders Show mor resent articlez
writer of da munth Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 36,192 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Nub!:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 36,192	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
	Désencyclopédie Français France 8936	Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400	偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6417	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 6330	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 7300
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14
	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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