Babel:Nub

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welcum 2 uncyclopedia, da content-free encyclopedia dat steve/i can edit.


sophia haz inspierd us 2 wurk on 40,759 articles since opening in january 2005.

before editin, plz raed da writin guidelines n flamewar manual.

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Mr. T is a beacon of hope in our cold and dark world.
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Velociraptor 1.JPG

The velociraptor is a pickup-truck-sized bipedal carnivore with an extended stiffened tail, distinguished from other dromaeosaurids by its long, low skull and upturned snout. It bears a sickle-shaped claw, typical of dromaeosaurid and troodontid dinosaurs, measuring up to 67 millimeters (2.6 inches) around its outer edge.

Velociraptors are commonly found on tropical islands turned millionaire amusement parks but, due to global warming and some unexpected disasters on said island, they are now being seen all over the world. Velociraptors are known for their highly coordinated packs and unusual intelligence, as evidenced by their nearly successful attempts to destroy humanity (Y2K and 2012) and the fact that they can open doors seemingly effortlessly. (Full article...)

u can voet 4 you're favorit articlez 2 b feturd.

da kool stufz


Selected anniversaries

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October 10: Not-for-turning Day, International Day of No Underwear

  • 1582 - Pope Gregory XIII implements the Gregorian calendar. While not wearing any underwear. Pope Gregory announced that turning is immoral.
  • 1807 - Canada defeats The Pirate Nation in the Canadian-Pirate War. Canada turns a new leaf even though they're not supposed to turn...
  • 1815 - Napoleon I of France begins his exile on St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. He forgets to pack any underwear. When it was his turn to attack, he refused, stating his famous cathphrase, "Turning will give you herpes."
  • 1980 - Margaret Thatcher declares that she is not for turning, despite the best attempts of pro-turning lobbyists.
  • 1995 - Underwear outlawed in Paris. Riots ensue. Jim Morrision turns in his grave.


archived aniverserys

In the news


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One simply cannot piss until he scans this.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Kids and pregnant moms trying to gain "super autism powers" by binging on TylenolDemocrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in Washington

Recent deaths: Terence StampThe Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet slothJoe Burrow's toe • Robert RedfordBaltimore Ravens' morale • The US Government's money • Jane GoodallThe Yankees' World Series dreams

Upcoming deaths: DEIR. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger (in jail) • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys', Cincinnati Bengals' and Baltimore Ravens' seasons • MSNBCLil Nas XDonald TrumpWindows 10 • Kids and moms trying to gain autism powers from Tylenol • Mark Sanchez's career and freedom


currnt stufz


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons:

  • ... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet?


raed mor

writer of da munth

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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4 nonsense related noob chat, see This instructional video.

protected by da government, n a 31337 klan of pirates.