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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 41,102 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

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Today's featured article John Marshall was a professional floor-is-lava player who lasted 34 years until he touched the floor and died. He played on the Supreme Court team and had the role of the fourth Chief Justice, which he served for three point four decades before dying. He arrogantly held the role and thought no one else was good enough to wear a robe and scream "constitutional law" at people. Marshall even copyrighted black bathrobes, so anyone who wanted the role would instantly have to pay Marshall $97.99 (plus shipping and tax). He was famous for vastly improving the Supreme Court team by inventing the established judicial review move. This allowed the Supreme Court team to respond to any attacks by the Congress team, making them a worthy team. (Full article...) Recently featured: John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries February 13: Simple English Day 1689 - William and Mary run Damp Islandland with each other, instead of having fights like normal marriage. 1880 - Stealy Inventorman finds out about light bulbs from some of his friends, so he steals it and makes lots of money, but loses friends along the way. 1960 - Angry wine people, after Damp Islandland gets big explodey mushrooms, decide to make their own big explodey mushrooms. 1990 - After drunk commies collapse into a big pile of nothing, Nofunzoneland and East Nofunzoneland come together to have no fun together. 1991 - Shooty Shooty Freedomland bombs a shelter and kills 400 innocent sandy people, for looking like the people who will blow up the Twin Towers 10 years from now. 2008 - Big Parliament Man of Underland, Kevin Rudd, makes a sorry for his pale people friends killing all the brown people. 2017 - Brother of fat, bad Korean rocket man is stuck with poison by murder people, because sometimes, friend, family is hard. 2021 - The British watch calmly from the sidelines as Orange Man is acquitted from incitement of insurrection. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day gewgaw Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news 1977-2026 So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • Seattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day Recent deaths: Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • New England Patriots fans' insufferability, for now • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • Dawson (Pictured) Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings. Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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