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41,146 governments to overthrow
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Today's featured propaganda
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Let's get one thing straight, my dear Wats-onium.
(Puffs cigar).
When you're talking magnetism, you're talking about me. I've got the highest magnetic moment of ANY naturally occurring element. You could call it a magnetic personality. I pull the facts right out of the air. Things are just drawn to me. Like you, and don't deny it. It's a gift, from me to you.
(Gestures to empty seat in front of desk)
In my pure, elemental form, I'm a bright, silvery character. Soft enough to be cut with a knife, IF you can get close enough. But I don't stay pristine for long.
(Coughs).
The streets of this world, this city, the damp air, they tarnish me, give me a yellowish oxide coat.
(Coughs again).
It adds character, and everyone loves character.
(Throws down cigar and picks up pipe). (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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*... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
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In the news
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Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas.
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On this day...
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January 3: Throw Tomatoes at Old People Day (Spain)
- 3 - First payday after Christmas, family breadwinners sigh and spend their money on cheap spirits.
- 1945 - Fascist era Spain creates holiday to cull old people and handle their tomato surplus at the same time (Pictured), evolves into a family-friendly holiday of public tomato throwing.
- 1948 - Mel Gibson is deported to Australia for abusing his freedom.
- 1974 - The Keebler Elves go on strike, claiming the working conditions in the tree are "inhumane", and demand a union. Ernie Keebler hires several Smurfs to scab in their place.
- 1992 - Nirvana releases "Come As You Are" as a single, amateur guitar players everywhere rejoice at having a song they can strum while playing Dungeons & Dragons.
- 2004 - CBS declares victory in the ratings war after crushing that "gay peacock" network.
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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