From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
38,576 governments to overthrow
|
|
|
|
|
Today's featured propaganda
|
MIAMI, Florida — Late Doors singer Jim Morrison surprised everyone but himself when he appeared in person as the Florida Board of Executive Clemency voted unanimously to posthumously pardon him four decades after he was convicted of open exposure and indecent profanity.
Outgoing Florida Gov. Charlie Crist – an admitted Doors fan and recent Senatorial loser to a conservative no-name – proposed the official pardon of the late singer, who was convicted for a disputed incident during a Miami, Florida, concert. When directly asked about the Board's hearing, Morrison told the stunned but admiring media, "Hey! Fuck you! I wouldn’t miss this goddamn case for shit!" He then exposed himself.
Morrison's widow, Patricia Kennealy Morrison, opposed the pardon and begged the Clemency Board to increase the charges against her late husband, who was sitting behind her exposing himself in the first row. She said she was not surprised at the outcome, given that the fans and a few hundred of Morrison's surviving groupies were supporting it. But she admitted she was highly surprised to see her late husband back in action. "He won’t even speak to me, the stuck-up bastard!" Kennealy lamented to CNN. "And since the original charges and trial were a publicity stunt to begin with, it doesn't surprise me that the pardon should attract even more publicity. My husband did not deserve a pardon and his record – in fact all his records – shouldn’t have been expunged, and he is mocking us as I speak." (Full article...)
|
Did you know...
|
*... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
|
|
|
|
|
To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
|
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Weinners: 2005/2006
|
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.