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40,982 governments to overthrow
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Today's featured propaganda
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Private Eye, that's what the letters spell out on the glass to the door of my office. New York City is a tough place to make a living and if you try to sing the blues you'll quickly find out that you're not even good enough to be another voice in the choir. Down on Broadway, it's a dog eat dog world so I make a little money on the side selling milk-bone underwear to hungry tourists or anything else that makes a sound like money. Anyone who lives here can smell the rat in this cheese factory but nobody's saying anything because having morals on Broadway is like celebrating mother's day at the orphanage - It makes you feel good but everyone stares at you like a nun in a string bikini. People don't normally need a Private Eye but when their chickens come home to roost it's a little like being the only cabbage farmer in town on St. Patrick's Day. Eventually they all show up at my door with a sob story and a dirty job that'll pay the bills. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
- ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
- ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
 - ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
 - ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
- ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
- ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
- ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
- ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
- ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 8: International Men Without Penises Day
- 4000 BC - God creates Eve, Adam celebrates that he doesn't have to keep stroking it by himself.
- 4001 BC - Eve forces Adam to sleep outside the hut after expecting free handies without anything in return.
- 1919 - Women marching on Washington, D.C. seeking the right to vote cite Oscar Wilde's play A Woman of No Importance as an example of misogynistic views.
- 1935 - Sophia blesses the women of the Earth by giving them the G-Spot, although men are cursed to never find it.
- 1978 - Your mother is born. According to statistics, she likely experiences 18-34 years of relative ease before you are born.
- 2026 - Losers on 4chan and Reddit rant about how they never got the girl of their dreams (Pictured), despite being "nice guys."
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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