From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
40,973 governments to overthrow
|
|
|
|
|
Today's featured propaganda
|
|
Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.
Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)
|
Did you know...
|
- ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured)
- ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack?
- ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
- ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
- ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured)
- ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack?
- ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
- ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
- ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
|
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Weinners: 2005/2006
|
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
