Today's featured propaganda
|
Garlic bread adventure!
You feel an emptiness inside you, a deep pit in your soul that nothing man-made can fill. How many years has it been since you felt her hair running through your fingers?
None of that matters. The only thing that makes you happy now is garlic bread. You know it’s bad for your health, and you know it smells like the underpants of a sweaty Gondola rower, but you can’t help yourself.
|
Did you know...
|
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
- ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
- ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
- ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
- ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
 - ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
- ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
- ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
- ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
- ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
- ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
|
|
|
|
To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
|
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Weinners: 2005/2006
|
