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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.

Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 37,355 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.


Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...

Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:


Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article


The toaster in Pulp Fiction was a Sunbeam® 2-slice model 346 toaster. Its primary role in the film is to startle Bruce Willis and prompt him to shoot John Travolta in the chest.

Although the Toaster is considered to have landed the most important role ever given to a toaster in a major Hollywood film, director Quentin Tarantino describes him as "a complete nightmare" and "a real bitch to work with," insisting that he will never cast the Toaster in another of his films again.

The Toaster moved to Hollywood at age 17, after testing out of St. Lucie West Centennial High School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. There, one of his first jobs was a cameo role on Murphy Brown, opposite Candice Bergen. Bergen has commented that "he seemed like a promising talent." (Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

No jokes, only suffering.

May 30: Dead Soldiers Day (U.S.)

  • 24 AD - Titus Tuccius Perpenna of Gaul is stabbed to death by Parthians somewhere in the Levant desert. His back facing the sand, he watches the morning sky fade to black.
  • 1386 - Swiss mercenary Reto Birchmeier trips on a rock and is subsequently skewered by three Hapsburg Pikemen near the village of Hildisrieden. His wife Corinne remarries.
  • 1812 - Dobrosław Senk, a Polish Cavalryman in Napoleon's Grande Armée, dies of exposure. He is buried in a mass grave near Vilnius, Lithuania.
  • 1864 - Chinese rebel Wei Guanyu, an infantryman in the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom's army, is executed by Qin forces in the province of Guangdong. He is buried with an image of Christ in his clutched hands.
  • 1944 - Captain Shishkina Leonidovna of the 588th Night Bomber Regiment is shot down by German Anti-Aircraft guns near the city of Görlitz. She is posthumously awarded Hero of the Soviet Union.
  • 2016 - Pvt. Bill Galltrot steps on an old landmine in Kandahar Province. He later dies of septic shock, following complications during a surgery.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.

Tina Turner 50th Anniversary Tour.jpg

Ongoing: Writers Guild of America strike · Russian Invasion · Eurovision · Alected
Recent deaths: Jerry Springer · Gordon Lightfoot · Rolf Harris · Tina Turner
Upcoming deaths: Twitter · Hollywoo · Steve Harrington

Today in London

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?

Read on

This Month's Wit

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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