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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 36,712 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

Browse:

Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...


Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

wilde.jpg

Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

Timeloop1.jpeg

John is in his bed and the alarm clock goes off.

RADIO ANNOUNCER 1
It's Grouuuuuuuundhog Day!

RADIO ANNOUNCER 2
That's right. Welcome to another sunny day in beautiful Pittsburgh. Today we're gonna find out if our winter will last another few weeks or not.

John is confused and doesn't really know where he is. The door opens and his son Mark enters.

MARK
Happy Groundhog Day Dad!

JOHN
Dad? Who are you? I don't have a son.
(Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

It's easy. Just follow the sign.

August 2: Intentionally Give A Stranger Misleading Directions Day

  • 456 - Maurading Mongol hoardes are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe.
  • 1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggested that the stranger seek directions from his own mother.
  • 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be" the series of events that followed causes the stock mareket crash and the great depression.
  • 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia.
  • 1939 - Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow invaded by accident.
  • 1993 - The shocking discrepancy between men and woman drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels.



The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?


Read on

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 36,712 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including OW!:
United Kingdom
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
36,712
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
50785


アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
19194


Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 17766


Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 14423


Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8936


Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 12400


偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6417


Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 6330


Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7300


Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016

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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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