Babel:OW

Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 35,576 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse: Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...

Another Oscar Wilde picture. From: Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article Your estimate of how long to reheat the lasagne was not a good one. In fact, it was probably the worst estimate I have ever seen. In fact, it was probably the worst estimate in the history of estimating. I'm not sure you even understand the concept of estimating. When you estimate, you're supposed to make an educated guess based on prior experience. You are not supposed to select a completely random number of any size and run with it. I guess you've learned your lesson. But let's just take a moment to run through all the clues you had that you are a poor estimator. (Full article...) Recently featured: Playstation 6 Personality disorder Mandela effect Planet Earth 3 Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. More of Oscar's picks edit Why was I born with such contemporaries? November 19: Buy the Turkey Stuffing Day 2500 BC - Pharaoh Whahuti invents the phrase 'thank you' and requests the phrase to be planted on every garbage can. 461 - St. Hilarius becomes Pope. Ironically, his pontificate turns out to be only mildly amusing. 1605 - Puritans get food from Native Americans, then drive them away and take their land in traditional American fashion. 1716 - Sir Isaac Newton coins the phrase 'Thanks a lot!'. Unfortunately, it gets no recognition among trash men. Seconds later, he coins the phrase 'What a prick." 1942 - Stalingrad: Soviet Union forces under General Zhukov launch the Operation Uranus counterattacks, turning the tide of the battle in the USSR's favor. Stalin radios for information and asks him, "How's Uranus doing?" The history of the United Kingdom	edit The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it. "Marty, I've seen your films, and they're all shit." James Dean named Sexiest Man Dead (Picture) UnNews will now only write about sports Comcast moves TCM to sports package Mick Mulvaney admits quid pro quo Stanley Kubrick resurrected, asked his opinion on Marvel movies Joe Biden's plan for black people Sam Smith's family thank fans UnNews remembers Lord Zedd New Apple Watch to tell the time Boxcar Bertha to be Scorsese's shortest movie ever Forest animals seen singing, dancing after death of David Koch Illegal aliens to be deported back to Andromeda galaxy Coyote $21,000 in debt Florida man turns Spider-Man into John Carpenter's They Live Where will Muse be in fifteen years? Today in London edit It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know... From Uncyclopedia's playwrights: ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell? Read on
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This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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