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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.

Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 36,575 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.


Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...

Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:


Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

Generic textbook 2.jpeg

Welcome! Please note that we used an exclamation point to emphasize how amazing the journey of reading our textbook will be. Exclamation points can also give the illusion that something is more "exciting" than it actually is. Publishers will never buy anything targeted to children or students if you can't somehow weasel the word "exciting" into your pitch, regardless of what you're peddling. (NOTE: This is the only thing of any value in the real world that you will learn from this textbook.)

So yeah, we also want to congratulate you on taking this great leap forward in your academic career. Please take a look at the breathtaking picture on the right and the beautiful Robert Frost quote we've shared with you. Neither of them may have anything to do with the subject of this textbook, but they can both serve as a wonderful metaphor for all the ways we claim that this textbook will enrich your life, both inside and outside of the classroom.

And finally we'd like to extend to you our warmest thanks and gratitude. Whether you realize it or not, your reading of this textbook is helping a few select people continue getting richer and richer. (Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

It is said by ancient Vedic scholars that the world is suspended on the molars of two hungry, hungry hippos, locked in permanent battle.

May 10: Step-Mothers-in-Law Day

  • 1497 - Amerigo Vespucci invents the trendy Vespa scooter, rides it across the Atlantic in search of idyllic cobblestone streets to glide across.
  • 1979 - The tiny Federated States of Micronesia is accidentally squashed by a hippo. (Pictured)
  • 1985 - Live Aid Concerts announced, starving Africans rejoice knowing that in twenty years time poverty will be eradicated.
  • 2004 - Cheap Christmas trees on sale spotted in IKEA.
  • 2006 - "National Step-Mothers-in-Law Day in the USA" organised by The Association for Most Ignored Relatives, founders of "National Younger Half-Brother Day", and "National Grandpa's-26-Year-Old-Girlfriend Day."
  • 2006 - Africa on a diet, pop stars have saved the world!
  • 2016 - Pokémon Sun and Moon comes out for the 3DS. Buy that shit nigga.
  • 2037 - Young MC turns 70, the irony threatens Earth's existence.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.

Mike Pence turns into a pickle

Today in London

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?

Read on

Recent witticisms

Recently published | Requested | Lacking | The brevity of wit | Lost scribblings | Consult your peers

This Month's Wit

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 36,575 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including OW!:
United Kingdom
United Kingdom


Wikia 17766

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Wikia 12400

Wikia 6330


Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016


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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

Protected by Oscar's wit, and an elite clan of peasantry.