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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 35,882 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

Donald Tusk.png

WASHINGTON, DCAmerica took a well-earned break from presidential politics after Donald Trump disappeared from his Mar-a-Lago retreat last week. The State Department assumed that Trump had absconded from his job and was off selling crap hotels to third world countries, until Secret Service agents found Trump imprisoned inside a WW2-era bunker some miles south of Berlin, mutilated to resemble a walrus.

Trump's naked body was sewn into a walrus suit made out of stitched together flesh and filled with blubber. His legs had been sawed off, and his shin bones were reattached to his face as tusks. Trump's matted hairdo was resewn into his new walrus scalp, a sick reminder of the human man he once was. When Trump's rescuers rolled his flabby, piniped body out of the bunker, the sunlight revealing every scar sewn onto his walrus form, every pool of dried blood seeping from his unhealed gashes, the Commander-in-Chief could only scream and hork. His captors had deprived him of his humanity, perhaps forever. President Tusk was then shipped to the Smithsonian National Zoo of Washington D.C., where he now lives his life as a genuine walrus. (Full news...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

It gets worse when you're older.

June 4: International Smack-A-Kid Day

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization
The evil virus under a microscope


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:


Read on

Recent witticisms


Recently published | Requested | Lacking | The brevity of wit | Lost scribblings | Consult your peers

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 35,882 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including OW!:
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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