Babel:OW
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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 40,683 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse:
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres... | Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
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Oscar's Chosen Article The Doctor is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation Superfluous. He is 903 years old,and serves in the capacities of saviour of lives and guardian of justice—as well as your host on the BBC1 documentary Doctor Who. The Doctor was born between a Time Lord father and a genetic construction device "mother", on the planet Gallifrey. His father wanted him to be a doctor or a lawyer, and forced him to study at Gallifrey Medical University's citadel campus. However, he instead developed an interest in gadgetry and time travel, a paradoxically taboo subject amongst the Time Lords, and transferred to the Time Lord Academy. He built his own time-travelling TARDIS, which he gave away and then subsequently stole back. One day, he would be able to brag to inferior beings that he built the TARDIS, and subsequently confuse them by also saying that he stole it. Just then, the Daleks, then a peaceful race of exterminators, went to war with the Time Lords, due to a horrible misunderstanding of the word "Time Lord," which in fact meant "termite" in the Dalek language. The Doctor escaped with his TARDIS, and he landed on Earth, specifically London, New Year's Day, 1963, and adopted Susan Foreman as his granddaughter, taking her last name to form his false Earth identity, "Doctor Foreman." At this point, the TARDIS became stuck in the shape of a police box. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. Why was I born with such contemporaries? September 19: Talk Like A Pirate Day (International), Talk Regularly Day (Somalia)
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The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
 Well, that says a lot...
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet sloth • Joe Burrow's toe • Robert Redford Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger (in jail) • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' and Cincinnati Bengals' seasons • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump • Windows 10 It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
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Recent witticisms
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This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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