Babel:OW

Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 36,712 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse: Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...

Another Oscar Wilde picture. From: Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article John is in his bed and the alarm clock goes off. RADIO ANNOUNCER 1 It's Grouuuuuuuundhog Day! RADIO ANNOUNCER 2 That's right. Welcome to another sunny day in beautiful Pittsburgh. Today we're gonna find out if our winter will last another few weeks or not. John is confused and doesn't really know where he is. The door opens and his son Mark enters. MARK Happy Groundhog Day Dad! JOHN Dad? Who are you? I don't have a son. (Full article...) Recently featured: Mel Gibson Alzheimers Groundhog's Day Battle of Shiroyama I maed a yuky doody Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. More of Oscar's picks edit Why was I born with such contemporaries? August 2: Intentionally Give A Stranger Misleading Directions Day 456 - Maurading Mongol hoardes are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe. 1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggested that the stranger seek directions from his own mother. 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be" the series of events that followed causes the stock mareket crash and the great depression. 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia. 1939 - Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow invaded by accident. 1993 - The shocking discrepancy between men and woman drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels. The history of the United Kingdom	edit The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it. O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting (Pictured) Citizen Kane sucks John Kerry comes out as a horse Supermarket thief: "Donkey Kong told me to" Mike Pence turns into a pickle It is all happening Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned Björk responds to Anti-Asian violence Stan Marsh presents: 2022 FIFA World Cup sucks ass Biden responds to North Korea's "Stink" complaints BMI songwriters (but not ASCAP) to receive vaccine Governor Cuomo from New York is screwed Grodin Museum reopens to public Old movies are suddenly offensive Northeast getting another blizzard Just another dead doper and a dirtbag dies Marilyn Manson removed from New Radicals hit Biden will recognize Hillary as 45th President Today in London edit It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know... From Uncyclopedia's playwrights: ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics? Read on
edit Recent witticisms Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary Statement of faith Baka the Master Builder Baboon John Cena Africa (Toto song) UnReviews:Terminator 6 Fall Out Boy (rw) Chevy Chase Christmas Jingle All the Way of the Gun (rw) Staind Halloween (2018 film) Recently published | Requested | Lacking | The brevity of wit | Lost scribblings | Consult your peers
This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia. UnNews News on crack Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia Undictionary Best left unsaid UnTunes Noisy things UnGames Ways to waste away HowTo Like Ikea without the pictures UnBooks Content-free books Unquotable Useless misquotes Uncycloversity No student loans UnPoetia Dreams deferred UnDebate Debate the irrelevant UnScripts We ruin stage too Why? Because UnReviews Hack frauds UnVoyage Armchair travel Uncyclomedia The Foundation
Uncyclopedia Languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 36,712 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including OW!: Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 36,712 Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785 アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 19194 Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766 Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423 Désencyclopédie Français France 8936 Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400 偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6417 Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 6330 Hikipedia Suomi Finland 7300 Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016 . Other Uncyclopedias 백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 6303 ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3132 Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 275 Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 105 伪基百科 汉语 Commie China 8269 איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2187 קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 46 Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 6054 Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 14 Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 11 Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 762 اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 976 نانشنامه فارسی Iran 943 ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 4 Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 1 Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9095 Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4563 Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2497 Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 4 ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 8 Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 1060 Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 59 Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009 Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33 আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 17 Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2812 Celwyddoniadur Cymraeg Wales 103 Scotypedia Scots Scotland 10 Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 19 Kengencyclopedia Lëtzebuergesch Luxembourg 7 Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 456 Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27 Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303 Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 31 Википедија Македонски Macedonia 175 Oncyclopedia Nederlands Belgium and Holland 2807 Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 21 Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3530 Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1888 Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1731 Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 234 Neciclopedie Română Romania 167 Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 4 Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1117 Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4466 Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96 Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159 Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267 Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176 Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14 Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279 Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8 Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7 Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016 . Article (Main) • Eald Ænglisc (Old English) • Babelfish • Blog • CafeMess (CafePress) • We get signal. (Engrish) • Galactic Basic Standard • Hitlerbear • Lietuvių Jiaunimų kalba • iHumor (Apple) • 1337 (Leet) • Re: PharmaccgRy (Mail Spam) • 조선말 (North Korean) • Newspeak • Nub (N00b) • Wildeizms (Oscar Wilde) • Manx (Pirate) • Middle Egyptian (Hieroglyphic) • Napulitana (Neapolitan) • Trekkies • Simple English • Testament • AAAAAAAAA! (Vagrant) • Vèneto (Venetian) • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese) • White Nationalist (White Supremacist) Complete list • Multilingual coordination • Requests for new languages

Uncyclopedia is made possible through contributions from readers like you.

All donations go toward the continuation of Uncyclopedia and its community of volunteer editors. If Uncyclopedia has ever made you laugh then we invite you to donate and help us pay for our expensive server(s). You can make all donations using your PayPal account or debit/credit card here. You can also support your local Uncyclopedia by purchasing merchandise from our merchandise store where 15% of all sales goes toward Uncyclopedia. If you cannot donate but still want to help Uncyclopedia monetarily, you can click some of the ads in our e-store to help us keep the rest of the site ad free.

---

For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

Protected by Oscar's wit, and an elite clan of peasantry.