Babel:OW

Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 36,638 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse: Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...

Another Oscar Wilde picture. From: Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article i was playing with my trains a LOT! so i got tired and i layed down for a nap cuz i was really sleepy by then! i had a dream where there was a biiiiiiiiig huge fudge cake and i was swimming in it and felt the choclate everywhere! but then i woke up and found out that i maed a yuky doody in my pants!!!!!!!!! it was all over the place and i tried really hard to clean it up, i tried really really hard! but i couldnt and it just felt so bad and all my sheets and the teddy bears were coverd in it. i started to cry. especially bcuz now i was getting a rash! (Full article...) Recently featured: I maed a yuky doody "Weird Al" Yankovic Vaping Caffeine Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. More of Oscar's picks edit Why was I born with such contemporaries? June 21: Midsummer Night's Dream 5400 BC - Ancient Druids create early pornography out of large stones on the Salisbury Plain in England, sadly it only works one day of the year, leading to many wars. 1940 - World War II: France surrenders to Germany, and that's all everybody says about France, no one remembers the Partisans! Sacrebleu! 1964 - The Ku Klux Klan bankrupts Bed Bath & Beyond after buying out all their white linen sheets. 1982 - John Hinckley is found not guilty be reason of insanity after disagreeing with Reagan's ideas on supply-side economics. 1994 - Study by the University of Cambridge shows that 14% of people born under the sign of Cancer are mauled by giant crabs. (Pictured) 2002 - The WHO finds a cure for polio, they go on to perform "Magic Bus" and "Pinball Wizard" to throngs of celebrating doctors. 2007 - Pluto sues the International Astronomical Union for defamation of character and libel. The history of the United Kingdom	edit The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it. Citizen Kane sucks John Kerry comes out as a horse (Pictured) Supermarket thief: "Donkey Kong told me to" Mike Pence turns into a pickle It is all happening Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned Björk responds to Anti-Asian violence Stan Marsh presents: 2022 FIFA World Cup sucks ass Biden responds to North Korea's "Stink" complaints BMI songwriters (but not ASCAP) to receive vaccine Governor Cuomo from New York is screwed Grodin Museum reopens to public Old movies are suddenly offensive Northeast getting another blizzard Just another dead doper and a dirtbag dies Marilyn Manson removed from New Radicals hit Biden will recognize Hillary as 45th President Today in London edit It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know... From Uncyclopedia's playwrights: ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave? Read on
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This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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