|Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.
Oscar's Chosen Article
Welcome! Please note that we used an exclamation point to emphasize how amazing the journey of reading our textbook will be. Exclamation points can also give the illusion that something is more "exciting" than it actually is. Publishers will never buy anything targeted to children or students if you can't somehow weasel the word "exciting" into your pitch, regardless of what you're peddling. (NOTE: This is the only thing of any value in the real world that you will learn from this textbook.)
So yeah, we also want to congratulate you on taking this great leap forward in your academic career. Please take a look at the breathtaking picture on the right and the beautiful Robert Frost quote we've shared with you. Neither of them may have anything to do with the subject of this textbook, but they can both serve as a wonderful metaphor for all the ways we claim that this textbook will enrich your life, both inside and outside of the classroom.
And finally we'd like to extend to you our warmest thanks and gratitude. Whether you realize it or not, your reading of this textbook is helping a few select people continue getting richer and richer. (Full article...)
You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.
Why was I born with such contemporaries?
The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...
From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
This Month's Wit
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.