Babel:OW
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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 37,502 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse:
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres... | Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
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Oscar's Chosen Article We gotta problem here boys, and it ain't goin' away by prayin' about it, I can tellz ya dat. Ya all know what I'm talkin' about. Festivus: Dat holiday celebrated on December 23rd dat dat polite Jew boy Seinfeld came up with. It's got me peein' my pants, and I'll tell you why. For a long time we've had dis thing, dis Christmas, all to ourselves. Biggest moneymaker since da mugs came up with mortal sin. Sure, sure, we had to wrestle Christmas away from da pagans, Jews, and dose other witches. Then some of da other boys, youse Lutherans and Pressbeterians and dem, dey started piggybacking on da meal ticket. Cock-a-roaches. But even so, Christmas was still pretty much ours, all de way from St. Peta takin' the reigns to Santa Claus providin' backup. But I dares ya to take a nun, a shovel, and a flashlight, and go underneath the Vatican and order her to start diggin'. Know what yu'd find? St. Peta and Claus spinin' in dere graves, right next to Jesus and Holy Mudda Mary in deres doin' backflips. All because of a goddamn TV show! (Full article...) You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. Why was I born with such contemporaries? December 6: International Day of the Jackal, Take Your Pants Off for Cancer Day (Utah, observed), Indifference Day (Finland), National Public Pooping Day (Denmark)
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The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
Ongoing: Hollywood on strike · Russian Invasion · ABBA It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
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Recent witticisms
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This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.
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