|Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.
Oscar's Chosen Article
WASHINGTON, DC – America took a well-earned break from presidential politics after Donald Trump disappeared from his Mar-a-Lago retreat last week. The State Department assumed that Trump had absconded from his job and was off selling crap hotels to third world countries, until Secret Service agents found Trump imprisoned inside a WW2-era bunker some miles south of Berlin, mutilated to resemble a walrus.
Trump's naked body was sewn into a walrus suit made out of stitched together flesh and filled with blubber. His legs had been sawed off, and his shin bones were reattached to his face as tusks. Trump's matted hairdo was resewn into his new walrus scalp, a sick reminder of the human man he once was. When Trump's rescuers rolled his flabby, piniped body out of the bunker, the sunlight revealing every scar sewn onto his walrus form, every pool of dried blood seeping from his unhealed gashes, the Commander-in-Chief could only scream and hork. His captors had deprived him of his humanity, perhaps forever. President Tusk was then shipped to the Smithsonian National Zoo of Washington D.C., where he now lives his life as a genuine walrus. (Full news...)
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Why was I born with such contemporaries?
The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...
From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
This Month's Wit
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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