User:MrN9000/TalkArchives14

I'm here too!

But don't have a request. I feel humiliated. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:00, 13 November 2009

I'm sure I typed something here once already you know. Shit appears to just disappear from this place these days. Also... I saw the whole thing.... Could not be arsed to get involved. Let's pick our battles when we are not arguing over cock. If you know what I mean... ;) MrN 01:14, Nov 13

On another issue entirely, you think that Monckton dude is speaking the truth? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:18, 13 November 2009

Did you watch the full version? The one which is a hour long? He has done several talks at various locations many of them are recorded. You can find em on Google videos. Al Gore chickened out of debating him. If you watch his talks I can't understand how anyone would not agree with what he is saying. The problem is that people confuse polluting the planet (which is a bad thing) with C02 which is not. I especially like how people are called "global warming deniers". Lol. What we need is a tax on people who make up bullshit tax. Oh, did you hear about Blood and Gore? Seriously. It's a partnership. MrN 01:27, Nov 13

Well, I agree with a lot of what he's saying. The solar thing might be doubtable though. But, as you'll understand, when I try to talk some sense into people, they keep asking me "What's your source?" and stuff like that. And it makes me wonder where Monckton gets all his facts (and theories, non-facts, etc.). Like that thing where he found censored data in some file. How did he get access to that in the first place? Etc. etc. Blood and Gore? I prefer the anime kind. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:41, 13 November 2009

He's a Lord. An actual British Lord. As such rather a credible source himself. Maybe he's working for the oil companies, but from what I can tell I doubt it. As for when I talk to people about global warming I ask them to watch that video... then we can talk again... Until people have seen it all presented together it's all not going to make sense. You can't sum it up in a few one liners. What it comes down to for me is that Monckton destroys all the evidence put forward that there is any kinda problem. Watch some of his other stuff if you fancy it: :-)

For me it's not about specifics of one thing like that thing where he found censored data in some file or such. What does that matter? More that the whole thing is just kinda blown clean out of the water. Where does he get his data? Which data? Everything he is saying is information from the public domain. He's just presenting it in a different way. If you can spot any "holes" in what he is saying I'm very interested. :) MrN 02:03, Nov 13

Oh, I don't doubt for a second that global warming is human-fabricated, or more simply put, made-up. But, you understand, some fail to see how religious their global warming beliefs actually are. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:32, 13 November 2009

Oh my gosh. This is the best news I've heard since the whole thing started. Imma have to watch that video. :D • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 02:38, Nov 13 2009

And now available with slides. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 04:18, 13 November 2009

Nice! Yea that version is better. If you are going to give 1 link to people to watch I would recommend this probably as I think it's a bit better. From what I can tell basically it works like this: Everyone knows that pollution is bad, and wants to stop it. People believe that CO2 is pollution and so will consent to a tax on it. Needing that tax generates the need to have a global organisation to control it. Without global warming there is no need for that organisation. It's not a coincidence that those pushing global warming are those who will gain power from administering the carbon tax. MrN 16:48, Nov 13

Swell new science

There is solid new research now at the start of Oatmeal#Nutritional properties. Spıke ¬  14:25 18-Nov-09

My Apologies

I apologize for any content that I have submitted that was not funny and block worthy. I am a bit new to this website so I was not in full understanding of the guidelines until I read them. Do you have anything specific you would like me to avoid doing? -MrBradlay 11/12/2009

Actually sir you are a breath of fresh air. :) I was in error to block you. That one edit you did on the article which had been recently vandalised set my vandal alarm going and I misunderstood thinking that it was you who had previously deleted all the content. If I can offer you some advice I suggest you try to remember to use an edit summary when you save your edit. That helps. Also, if you have not already check out BGBU and HTBFANJS. Enjoy Uncyc. MrN 01:11, Nov 13

Ban evasion and hangovers

They seem to go hand in hand. Could you hop on IRC for just a minute? -OptyC Sucks! CUN

Why you do dat?

I made Chill during the whole Mohammed drama so I could be all like, "dude, [[chill]]" and people would see the image and get the point. Also, every edit to that page has added or subtracted 17 bytes. How does that make you feel? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 00:18, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

There is a whole Mohammed drama going on? I had not noticed. :P I was just going through new pages. Hea change it back if ya really care, but I'm not really a fan of having too many pages which are not actually real articles. It makes the n00bs do it and well, you know... MrN 00:23, Nov 15

Fair enough. I'll leave it but I might pull it out again in the event it's needed. Also, did you know that 17 is the most (or least, depending on how you look at it) random number? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 00:31, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, yea... Everybody knows that. MrN 00:38, Nov 15

hey ;)

Well, while adding template to article Michael Holding you added comment in edit descirbe. Well, if you think this article sucks, or one of its part sucks, tell me, or change it. Cheers. Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 12:26, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

Did I say that I thought it sucked? I did not. Actually I think it's rather good. MrN 21:49, Nov 15

Oh, I think it was a bit sarcastic ;) my bad^^ Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 22:17, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

You really are trying to milk the complements out eh? You sir will fit in just fine at Uncyclopedia. Welcome btw. MrN 22:26, Nov 15

Thanks ;) Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 20:02, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

I just added a link you your article from Test Match Special which you might enjoy sometime. Also, if ya fancy it Cricket needs all the love it can get. Have fun. MrN 20:13, Nov 16

I added one more section as you asked. Well, say if it's good enough. If not, maybe I can invent something other but tbh I did not write about stumpkicking as their was a photo of it. I put graphics that looked better on my browser bacause after your edit on I saw long blank space under graphic of Holding during track run. //// And thanks for link, and I've read all here what has been written about cricket and also translated some to Polish :). Also I think how to clean up cricket but... honestly as I see it, it looks nice in one way ->> it's sooooo long... as cricket match is meant to be :) Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 21:03, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:VFH/Michael Holding Good luck. I don't know if there are enough cricket fans on Uncyc to get this one through, but we can see. Oh, ... Pro tip ;) ... nudge nudge don't vote for yourself. Well not right away anyway. That's what I always do, and my articles usually fail. :P MrN 00:49, Nov 17

Um...

Why are you vandalizing my userpage? -- straight Ape (mystify) (Riot Porn) 04:38, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

I removed a picture of a cock, and replaced it with a picture of a sausage. I thought the picture of the cock was a bit gay. It makes everyone think we are a bunch of faggots. Also, it's a pork sausage, so it's more offensive. BTW... I will not be blocking anyone over this. If you think it's got to be a cock for it to be offensive I suggest you ask some Muslims... Not that there appear to be any involved in this whole rather pointless affair also. Dude, this is not about freedom of speech. If I thought it were I would be fighting tooth and nail for you. I think you know that. This is about a picture of a cock. Don't ya think that it's kinda funny that everyone is making so much fuss about a picture of a cock? The terrorist are laughing at you man! Because of them... It makes you want a picture of a cock on your talk page? Um. Think about that. I bet you laughed when ya saw that new image also. :P MrN 13:31, Nov 16

Your dislike of cock pictures is probably offensive to gay people. Just sayin'. --Mn-z 16:36, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

Or to chicken farmers. ~ 16:38, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

Did I say I don't like cock pictures? I'm not sure I did. Um. Er. anyway... Look. I don't like pictures of cock!!! Is that a such a crime??? Can't a man be free to openly express his heterosexuality any more these days? Stop repressing me man!!! MrN 16:43, Nov 16

Wha'd I Do?

Are you saying, Don't totally rework an article (The Quaker Oats guy) in the midst of VFD, perhaps to avoid voting on a moving target? Hyperbole also proposed a more orderly way to achieve the same thing. Problem is, it didn't start out being a total rewrite, until Hyperbole threw in the bit about William Penn. Point taken. (I can now say you "slapped me mercilessly.") Spıke ¬  01:36 17-Nov-09

Stop looking so guilty. People will begin to suspect you. I have never seen anyone banned for improving an article. ;) As for if it's OK to do it when an article is on VFD... People do it sometimes. Would we make a rule saying you could edit an article on VFD, but you can only improve it a little bit, but no rewrites? ... That's why we have as few rules as we can. MrN 01:41, Nov 17

Whoa! Hyperbole just did it too, with an admin's help, regarding his plan to fix Eminem, and I think he'll do it well. Anyway, VFD is fun to hang around; it gives you ideas for work but is more social than just taking items off a list. And I'll still say you slapped me mercilessly. Spıke ¬  02:02 17-Nov-09

Actually, that's not me, and that's not quite how it happened. Colin Heaney nommed Eminem for deletion. Then, without any voting, Zim ulator huffed it - he probably shouldn't have. But, then, Count of Monkey Crisco hastily rewrote part of it and tagged it WiP. My only involvement was to ask an admin to close the vote because Count's version wasn't the version Colin nommed for deletion. pillow talk 02:50, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

But personally, just to throw in my two cents, I think we should have a rule not to make any edits other than reverts to a page that's tagged VFD. Really, rewrites should be done in userspace only. I remember at least two incidents recently where someone did a "A Wizard Did It" style rewrite that some people deemed even worse than the nominated article - and that just throws voting into chaos. pillow talk 02:52, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

Yikes! that's chaos. I don't feel so bad about my little taste of Discipline. Spıke ¬  02:54 17-Nov-09

If someone wants to try and save a sinking ship I'm not going to stop em. People have even been known to whore articles at VFD you know. IMO sometimes an article just needs a few minor edits and it's enough to swing it above the VFD standard. A rule about not editing articles??? If it becomes a problem maybe we can handle it then. MrN 03:08, Nov 17

Well, it's been a low-level, persistent problem for years. I think I've significantly edited about five articles on VFD. That resulted in three "Thanks, Hyperboles!" and two 24-hour blocks. Whoring articles on VFD, on the other hand, is a time-honored tradition! pillow talk 03:11, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

Normally, don't we keep anything that someone offers to rewrite, on the theory that doing that is easier than deleting and starting from scratch? --Mn-z 07:12, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

Hyper: If you say so dude. The only times I can remember anyone getting blocked was when a page was actually moved during VFD. Myabe I'm wrong. Admins are not always exactly consistent in what they do. The problem is this: ... Exactly how could we get around the "problem" of people editing articles on VFD. If anyone can come up with a solid suggestion I'm all ears. I don't think it's possible without introducing new rule which I don't think we need. If someone can improve an article while it's on VFD good luck to them. If they need more time they can do it in userspace. I'm not a fan of people saying "Oh, vote keep I promise I will fix it". That's when they should copy to userspace. MrN 14:33, Nov 17

Well, when I see a problem, I fix it--In the current VFD batch, I fixed tags on Coors and did a full clerical edit of Military Of New Zealand; also a nit in Suryavarman II. On the other hand, I agree with Hyperbole that a whole new version meant to compete with the version undergoing VFD should be a private one. I don't believe in even trivial blocks as an exercise of a sense of humor--It's not a joke to cut the lines of communication. Spıke ¬  04:05 17-Nov-09

Both of Hyperbole's blocks were from TFK so they don't really count. But I'm guilty of rewriting articles on VFD. Usually because doing it userspace and then moving it back after deletion would feel like I'm trying to cheat VFD, especially when I'm only rewriting it because I saw it on VFD. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 20:14, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

Regarding Pen-is Images

Category:Pictures with penises we have more than a few. Although, I don't think any are of blowjobs like that one Sannse deleted. --Mn-z 19:07, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

I agree. It's a ridiculously grey area. MrN 19:11, Nov 17

And as a point of information, I do believe User:Mahm00shA is a Muslim mentioned his dislike of the image to Sannse, although he wasn't the first to bring it up. --Mn-z 19:25, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

I did not know that. Really all I was trying to say was that the issue appears to be more about the penis rather than it being offensive to Muslims in particular. Which makes the whole thing rather silly really. MrN 19:28, Nov 17

IIRC, Mahm00shA is "of Muslim heritage," but not a practicing Muslim. I could be wrong, though. pillow talk 23:52, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

I'm officially a Muslim. Not a practicing one, but still. Also, I was not particulary offended by the image, I just didn't like it. And I didnt like it for its labels, not for the penis. I mean, who the fuck gets offended by drawings of penises? • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 19:58, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

Take a look at what has actually happened. That should answer your question. MrN 20:13, Nov 18

I have no idea why I even asked the first question really. It does not matter. MrN 23:57, Nov 17

Yes, I recall him commenting that the Muhammad/penis drawing "offends my heritage." Briefly considered jousting with him: Does this mean you are offended? or that you feel you should be offended? Spıke ¬  00:30 18-Nov-09

Sorry spike, I missed that you were actually asking me a question on a personal level. To answer it. I do not care. I think it's impossible that any image could offend me. Trust me, I have seen some fucked up stuff. I do know that others are offended by images, and try to keep that in my mind. MrN 18:14, Nov 18

Oh, I wasn't waiting for you to answer! otherwise I would have brought it to your talk page! But it's a real question, which you have now answered. Offense to your "heritage" is offense to a sense of formal correctness--and we walk on that all the time. Offense to you personally I would take more urgently. Boycotts from political correctness in the US (most famously, Don Imus from radio--he's back now) always seem to take from 3 to 14 days. Ordinary people aren't offended, then the advocacy groups say, "We can turn this into a boycott threat" and management capitulates. And I mention on the Forum that the new photo is about a guy trying to insult, more than it is about Islam. Spıke ¬  20:09 18-Nov-09

If by "The new photo" you mean the one with the sausage? That's not about anyone trying to insult anyone. I asked Socky to make it to demonstrate some points which have now been made. If you don't understand what those points were after all this bullshit then I don't think I can explain it to you now. Think about it yourself maybe. MrN 20:19, Nov 18

Yes that's the one, and we agree. While of course I don't know if there are points I'm missing, nothing urgent left to say except that this episode was one for the books, with tons of procedural plus substantive issues. Cheers. Spıke ¬  20:41 18-Nov-09

Was the point that it is possible to produce a cartoon that is offensive to Muslim sensibilities with showing a penis being licked? -- straight Ape (mystify) (Riot Porn) 23:31, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

If you care

That one image appears to be reposted somewhere. And someone informed Sannse about it. --Mn-z 18:10, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

I do not care. Sorry. MrN 18:11, Nov 18

Penistone

Nah, its more than just the name (Or are you too stupid to understand humour beyond funny place names?). Plus, several other articles refer to it.

Penistone

Nah, its more than just the name (Or are you too stupid to understand humour beyond funny place names?). Plus, several other articles refer to it. Also, Id appreciate being able to write more than a sentence before you judge it. yeah?Vader1990 21:30, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

Na, I'm too stupid to understand humour beyond funny place names. Please read BGBU. That will help you. As will HTBFANJS. How did I know that you would be coming back? Read BGBU. MrN 21:53, Nov 19

Penistone

Quick question: Delete User:Tinkywinkyisgay/Article about stuff or no? I put this on QVFD when MadMax was the deleting admin and he skipped over it. I'd talk to him about it but I figure a judgement call like this isn't his department. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 22:40, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

MadMax is a better admin than I am. He is also a nicer person. ;) MrN 22:53, Nov 19

penis

Also, it seems the penis block has been removed. Hooray. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 22:41, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

PENIS!!!! I wonder if we can have a Penis? MrN 22:53, Nov 19 22:53, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

And what a day it was, when mine was. Spıke ¬  22:55 19-Nov-09

We can even have a penis! It's like an early Christmas over here. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 23:03, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

Woohoo! Tonight I'm gonna PENIS like it's 1999! -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:08, 19 Nov

...and so it was. MrN 23:26, Nov 19

Currently the word "penis" appears on this page 20 times, counting the table of contents and the instances in the word "penistone". --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:49, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

Penisly? -- straight Ape (mystify) (Riot Porn) 00:05, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

Hey

I'm constructing new cricket related article. Check out User:Ptok-Bentoniczny/Robert Mugabe's Cricket Almanac, say what do you think and change something/correct if you wish ;) It's not done yet, but I will finish it later. Cheers Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 23:54, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

I've put this article in the main space now Robert Mugabe's Cricket Almanac. I wait for your honest opinion. Cheers Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 21:00, November 27, 2009 (UTC)

Still contributing

I, like, graduated, dude! (And it's all cause-a-you)

Hi dude! I lost the competitive spirit, but I'm still contributing. I'm also an official Wikipedian. This new stuff is hopefully good enough:

1. http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/ITSCON
2. http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Womp_Rat
3. http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Flying_Purple_People_Eater

Hope you're grooving.--Funnybony 20:41, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

Now you can adopt your own noobs. ;) I think you know more than enough about this place that you would make a very good adopter yourself. Should you wish to do so. :) MrN 01:40, Nov 26

“According to a new poll, The Yardbirds are the Top Ten Rock Bands of all time.”

~ BBC

Actually I don't know enough about computing to understand this place. I'm just glad I can write articles that are good enough to stick, and make lasting contribution to UnCyclopedia. I also edit for Wikipedia andf have made done a lot of work for them. So I'll keep coming up with stupid stuff that's fun to write and makes some people laugh. And specially to be the person who wrote an article on any subject that is THE article on that subject, that makes me very proud, even nobody but me and you knows it. I wish you could make a table out of the secondary ways of distruction in 2012, using only the good ones, that way no one will add crap to the list. I think that was your solution mentioned before. But I have no clue on the coding. It's half your article so I hope we can stop all the crap adders.

BTW - as silly as Amero is, still, it's more close to the truth than Wikipedia. Over here even the PM of Cambodia is talking about ASEAN becoming unified with one currency, and joining to gether with the other unified regions, like EU and (upcoming) All-American Union, all leading straight toward the United States of Earth.

What's the latest?--Funnybony 20:59, November 27, 2009 (UTC)

You're not on IRC

and I respect your need to take a break from those goons once in a while. However, I wanted to discuss with you the matter of Baby Eating. That's not how you usually delete and redirect an article, but I'm not going to complain because the old article is buried and the vote said delete. I wonder why I can't find it in the archives, though. Maybe a poopsmith dropped it? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 01:40, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Need I remind you of the image we discussed earlier? Also, thanks for blocking that IP. You know the one. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 03:59, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, I was away. Looks like it's used on some userpages so VFD would be suitable now if you wanted the image removed. MrN 18:49, Nov 25

That's not what you told me earlier. I'll do it, but if there's a backlash, you only have yourself to blame. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 20:04, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

We obviously misunderstood each other. As for your latest post here, I have no idea what you are talking about. I'm in IRC for a bit now... MrN 20:23, Nov 25

You sir

Are you going to be on IRC later on? I need to discuss cabal matters. ~ 20:35, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Sure. Although I have no knowledges of this "cabal" of which talk. I will be on again in an hour or So. :) 20:40, November 25, 2009 (UTC)~

Tally ho then! O_O ~ 20:43, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

indeed not cricket

I didn't cheat here. I had no contact with any other voter than Pippo and I asked him to just read article... It's riddicoulous. I'm banned on Polish uncy and I screw what they do. Maybe Pippo told to them about article. What I can say about admins of Polish uncy voting, we had bad relations. I have no idea WHY they voted... And I can't get into Polish Nonsensopedia IRC as I'm banned there. Only that I wanted to say. My suggestion is that maybe you could create another nomination or something. But do as you wish. Cheers Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 18:56, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

I did not accuse you of cheating. Had I been satisfied that you yourself were directly cheating I would have blocked you. As it is what I do know is that there was something very unusual about that nomination so I closed it. That might appear unfair to you however if those suspect votes had been removed the nomination would have already failed so there is no need to consider creating another nomination. For advice as to how to improve it... Read the comments given by the people who did not like it... Your English is also a little broken still, and needs work. MrN 23:47, Nov 26

Thanks for reverting my page back to normal, man!

My page was blanked and replaced with "likes to suck cock" by a 21 year old lardass troll who was one of the craftiest and most cunning of crackers.

A person who has somehow figured out how to "break into" a site that has an open log-in policy in order to deface an article by inserting random obscenities in a way that can be repaired instantly with two clicks of a mouse by the first person who comes along and notices the change. BOOBS!

Anyway, thanks man, I would have reverted it myself, but my internet is capped so it would have been annoying :P --The Imperial Judge EvilCecil4th 02:35, November 29, 2009 (UTC)

Apocalypse 2012 (?)

Belief is about blind faith Science is about checking

Dude, I have an old friend in South America who really is an expert astronomer and astrologer. I asked him about the so-called galactic alignment, etc., for 2012. I thought you might like to hear his reply:

The 26,000 years is speculation added from the crazy and unfounded idea that the Maya calendar is linked to the Precession, which in average has a 25,920 years cycle. Instead they will speculate again when i start to tell them that the calendar fits the 41,000 years cycle of the obliquity. I am preparing an article about this. The calendar is 5,125 years long x 8 = 41,000 years. The obliquity is important but unfamiliar to most.

Some 25,920 years ago the Precession was at 6 degrees Aries, entering 5 new amsas at the same time, the same as we will see on 10 December 2009, but in the sign of Pisces. A song can be tuned to a certain key, A, B, G, etc. And so the signs are like those notes. The note of Aries is different from Pisces, and 26,000 years ago we still were in Dwapara yuga. So for the first time in this Kali Yuga we will see an end to the Maya calendar. But an elder Mayan said, "Big deal, what happens every year? Today is 31 December, and tomorrow it will be 1 January. The only thing that changes is the day. And so the Maya calendar is going to be the same, just another calendar day."

BTW: I watched the entire YouTube you have on so-called man-made global warming. He convinced me. It's a scam, all part of the NWO program leading to United States of Earth.. which can't happen unless they kill all the objectors, such as Muslims, free thinkers, etc. It seems bound to happen as the world shrinks.--Funnybony 21:05, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Not if I have anything to do with it... Watch this space... MrN 05:26, Jan 17

Albert Pike

I know most of what is in the last section. He was definitely an emigma.

What about Dec. 22, 2012 ???

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Post_Apocalypse --Funnybony 11:44, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

I note the absence of templates from your talk page and hope you don't mind me messing everything up by plopping this huge animated gif on it.

WELCOME TO VORTEX 102 The first semester will cover the entire spectrum of human biological vortices, with the first quarter focusing exclusively on the colonic vortex. In this animated simulation, the event horizon (colon) can be clearly distinguished. Unlike the hydraulic, atmospheric and gravitational vortex, the biological vortices aren't open ended systems with dubious conclusions as to where the crap goes in and comes out. Since biological systems are easily identifiable and make for an easy study, we'll be spending a lot of time on them. By understanding the biological vortices, we may glean insight into the larger picture. The foundation of all knowledge starts with the colonic vortex so study this animated gif for no less than an hour a day for the next week. Thank You! Dr S

Thanks Mr N. Sorry for the mess! --    16:39, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

In case you ever wondered

“Fireman in Atlantis”

~ Alfred E. Neuman on the world's easiest job

--Funnybony 17:00, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

2012 DOOMSDAY ???

2012 DOOMSDAY ??? --> What? Me worry!?

I just got the Jan 2010 Special Issue of Modern Astrology, successor to the Astrological Magazine of India, edited by noted astrologer-astronomer, Gayatri Devi Vasudev, the daughter of late great Prof. Dr. B.V. Raman (ref Wikipedia).

In this latest issue she says of the 2012 Doomsday forecast:

“Any annihilation of gigantic proportions is possible only under a unique and significant planetary pattern. There is nothing out of the ordinary in the chart cast for the date December 21, 2012 to warrant any destruction on a massive scale on earth. All fears of the world ending on this date can be put to rest.”

“So what happens then as 21-12-2012 ends? The world simply moves into 22-12-2012.”

Ref Modern Astrology Magazine, article by Gayatri Devi Vasudev, Jan. 2010 issue, page 6.

What is the "chart"? Well, all astrological interpretation aside, it's a math-based-map of the exact positions of the planets in relation to earth on said date.--Funnybony 15:52, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

Soma

Dude! Hope you're well! I finally have some ideas for Soma. It's not my article, but it was pretty good, and then got huffed. You put it somewhere for me to try and improve, but I can't figure out where? Could I try and revive Soma, as every article counts as a subject. Much appreciated, and sorry it took so long.--Funnybony 21:45, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

I need help

Remember when my userpage was blanked a while ago? Well, I found out it was some troll who migrated from YouTube and decided to be an ass. He's been blanking my page over the last few weeks.

Reckon you could put a semi-protection on my userpage to prevent IP edits? Thanks for your time --The Imperial Judge EvilCecil4th 10:22, December 23, 2009 (UTC)

Well, I'm sure you're around here somewhere...

Have you been avoiding me?

Jolly Black Santa's Christmas Wish I am sure there are many guys who are bored and horny. Maybe you are on vacation and didn't go home for the holidays. Maybe you are married, or bi, or just plain curious about being with a guy. Maybe you are tipsy and feel adventerous. Anyway, I am here alone, a 42 yo JBS, two hundred and eighty-five pounds, 5'9", from the South Pole. Age, race, experience level not important; I am only looking for a good time. If you're serious, let's talk. No games. Wishing you and yours a Happy Holidays and a Zana Christmas, ~ Zana Dark

Merry X-mas! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 03:36, 26 December 2009

UnSignpost Delivery! - December something!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that took a long enough vacation to make former President Bush jealous.

December 17^th, 2009• Issue 70 • Fuck You! I Felt Like It!

UnSignpost and random editor return from two month break, find that not much has changed By THEDUDEMAN After 2 months, one would think that things would change. But from the looks of it, nothing really has for Uncyclopedia in the past few months with out UnSignpost. In particular, the problems in caring, changing things, doing other things and caring have gone from the problems of two months ago, to the problems of now, with nothing really changing. The causes of these problems, discovered after much digging through archives seems to be the general Nobody cares aditude of the site, and the general populations inability to really change anything, because they don't care. A random user who had been missing since around the last issue of UnSignpost made this comment. "Well, when I left, uncyc had been having its own problems and everyone had been complaining about the same things for some time and nobody really cared enough to do anything, or just couldn't make anything happen." says THEDUDEMAN, who had been missing since late September. "I thought I'd come back and see what was happening in the world of Uncyclopedia, and by the looks of it, nothing has changed" While the general population of Uncyclopedia has been alerted to these aging problems, nobody has raised any fuss to get any of them solved. It seems nothing will ever happen because as they all say, nobody cares. UU notices return of USP, hijacks article for own nefarious ends By UU Yeah, that title pretty much gives it away - evil admin UU has hijacked this section of the USP to announce two festive initiatives: the Mince Pie contest, and the Ban Parto-ho-ho-l, both of which are to be found on his userpage. So if you think you can eat more mince pies this Christmas than UU or current runaway leader Barry Gibb of Bee Gees fame, or if you want to request a friendly festive joke ban for one of your Uncyc chums, get yourselves across to the most festive userpage on the wiki! YOU ARE ALL LAZY TALLYWHACKERS! An Editorial. By The Woodburninator Alright you lazy sons of bitches (no offense to Zana, of course), what in the hell have you been doing these last few months? Gerry takes time away from this awful place for, like 3 months, and no one is able to do a single UnSignpost? Not once. SINCE OCTOBER! Have we as a community forgotten the fine, upstanding tradition that this here barely read online journal has kept going since May of 2008? It is time for a little history lesson boys and girls (No offense to Zombiebaron, of course). The Post was started by Cajek and Skully in May of 2008. That's really as far as I got with my research though, so I guess your history lesson is over. Regardless, how many amazing stories have been broken from the fine investigative journaling over the years? Like the time we broke the story that the UnSignpost was starting up. Or the time we told everyone Spang's talkpage was destroying the Wikia servers. A problem that still haunts us today. Without this venerable post, those stories never would have been unleashed upon the moronic and ignorant public that includes you, who are both a moron and ignorant. We need this thing to bring us the news, and make us laugh. We need this thing for the sake of parody. But, above anything else, we need this post in order to waste Dexter's time when he's forced to deliver them. Have you seen his edits around here over the past few weeks? That guy's getting to be WAY too useful, and if we don't stop him now, who knows what he'll do next. Fix VFH? Win Last person to edit wins? Nip this in the bud Uncyc. Nip this in the fucking bud.

Check out these pages! A Caption Contest... or something... Some sort of war of templates? WTF? Shit like this still going on... Really? From our logs: 19:53, December 15, 2009 Mordillo blocked Bobbinator with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (end of the line, fuckwit. I'm going to track down your IP address and report it to the abuse department of your ISP. run and hide motherfucker, run and hide.) 16:56, December 15, 2009 Under user blocked 209.175.13.46 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (oy, fuck off. no blanking, no cyberbullying, and NO personal details like phone numbers. GTFO.) 13:20, December 15, 2009 Mordillo blocked 199.43.172.254 with an expiry time of infinite ‎ ("199.43.172.254, causing trouble since 2005") BIOPIC OF THE WEEK AH, WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THEDUDEMAN? THE GUY EXHUDES DUDLINESS AT ALL TIMES DURING HIS TIME HERE. HE WON UNCYCLOPEDIAN OF THE MONTH IN AUGUST OF 2009. HE WON A PLS WHEN HE RE-WROTE DUDE, AN ARTICLE THAT LATER GOT FEATURED, AND FROM WHICH HE TAKES HIS NAMESAKE. HE HALFHEARTEDLY EVEN TRIED TO START THIS EDITION. HAS HE DONE OTHER THINGS THAT ARE COOL, NOTEWORTHY, AND I SHOULD BE TELLING YOU ABOUT? PROBABLY. BUT RESEARCHING ANY OF THAT WOULD FORCE ME TO GO ONTO HIS USERPAGE, AND SINCE I AM AT WORK, I AM UNABLE TO ACTUALY DO THAT. INSTEAD I'LL JUST STICK TO THE ALL CAPS GIMMICK IN A COY TIE-IN TO HIS NAME. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THEDUDEMAN. Quote of the Week <zim_ulator> no penis involved here LadyCS has left #uncyclopedia <DrSkullthumper> You just lost LadyCS's interest Old School Featured Article of the Week MonthTri-Month Let Someone Else Do It tm is every intelligent person's philosophy of life. There are plenty of things that if we stop doing them for a long enough time, some other sucker with less patience and a greater sense of responsibility will do them instead. This is an established law of our social reality, and it is our obligation to uphold it. VFD Keep vote of the week. Keep The less use something is, the more I identify with it. mAttlobster. (hello) 22:41, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:50, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

D-:<

Yo, its me Flutter (YES I know what ur thinking "Yeah yeah he's using sockpuppetry agian" but save it for a bit.)

I really miss Uncyclopedia, and its been 5 months already. untill recently this month I realised I diserved that solid 3 month ban 4 cyberbulling. But before that i didn't. When I came back tin late October to see if I was unbanned (even though the infiniban was issued) I wasn't. (And i'm trying my best trying not to sound fruity, either.) AND before that, i tried to give my reasons, on a other user or "sockpuppet" Of corse i can't use thet stupid IRS or whatever the fuck it is. Also in a way I may be sounding rude, OF CORSE reducing my chances of being unbanned but, compared to what you, Gerrycheevers, Mordillo and possibly The Woodburninator, (as far my knowledge goes) I'm nothing. I know Gerrycheevers was doing his Uncyclopedic duty doody, but he's a noob and i was put down by him. Unless u were me, it feels really bad. I was REALLY PISSED, but i had to hold it. It was tough.

Even though U never noticed, I'm a very promising & civilc user here at this site. The real reason why I was doing that Nayely, Denica & Big Show (not really) now-cyberbulling nonscence is that I wanted to make them into somewhat memes. Before I never knew it was considered cyberbulling. I thought cyberbulling was posting phone vids about fights in school, as I saw in one line in the wikipedia article. And even though this was not intensinally, it was my fault and my loss here. With all those revisions, that stuff is all cleared, like me (i hope)

Also if I do get unbanned, I am going to stick with new paroied-able things like Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, Pippi Longskocking, Tony Atlas, The Hart Dynasty, Rescue Heros, Baman Piderman, AVGN, Happy Tree Friends, Smackdown vs Raw 2010 (and I still left out a few things) and still get into the old things like Zula Patrol, Gliese, WordGirl, John Cena qubo, Extrasolar planets, The Big Show, Natalya, Galaxies and all that crap. And thats also a New Years Resolusion! Impressed?

And u were right, quoting him: "I hope this can be sorted out as you [me] are a useful user." And not to sound too self centered or anything :D I really hope this clears out...

And Ive already said the same thing to Mordillo.... *sigh* —Flutter Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 08:27, January 2010 (UTC)

Dude

What happened? You elope with Cajek or something? Whatever, hope you're having a good 2010 wherever you are. --UU - natter 09:16, Jan 13

He's probably standing with a long trench coat somewhere, totally naked underneath, waiting for his next victim. ~ 09:22, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, um. Yes. About that trench coat... Well, actually I um... Can I blame the Aliens again? OK. This time I'm going to say that I have been staying at my sisters (with no net access) due to a family crisis. Um. How did that sound? The Aliens more believable eh? OK... It was the Aliens again. I hope to meet both of you in the flesh one day when I will be able to tell the real story. I am however back and full of beans, motivation and new ideas. MrN 05:17, Jan 17

This "motivation" stuff sounds dangerous. We'd better drain it from you quickly, before it can spread. --UU - natter 09:44, Jan 18

Soma revived

Hey Dude! I finally got my dumb ass to figure out that the glasses I was searching for were on my goddamn face. I hope you like this version. There is a funny Wilder quote too. Please let me know http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Soma Take care!--Funnybony 21:06, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

Looks like you are still doing the stuffs!!! I will take a look over em at some point in the next few days... Yep, I'm back now. MrN 05:24, Jan 17

Yay, now that you're back...

TITS or GTFO! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 06:41, 17 January 2010

Can I have both please? :D Yea, I have been even worse than normal lately. Congrats on the stuffs you appear to have stuffed recently. :-) I was actually just about to ban ya 2. Seriously. Hope to catch up on IRC soon. I have some stuff to sort out around the place, but intend to be in there a lot more soon... Hope you are well and getting enough of the things you need. You know what I mean. :P MrN 06:47, Jan 17

Just want to add another "Yay, you're back!" =) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:16, 17 January 2010

Yey! Socky is still here! MrN 20:45, Jan 17

OMG......MRN9K is back!....and so on and so forth. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Who let that plonker back in the door!!! MrN 20:45, Jan 17

REJOICE! Ye are awarded.~Formerly Annoying Crap 22:01, 17 January 2010

Well, Um... Hang on! This Flying Rat's Ass Award looks rather... Um. Hea. Like I give a rats ass. Thanks anyway! :P Also, should I not delete this template or something? /me hides. MrN 22:07, Jan 17

You could move it to an award page or something. It's a rather old in-joke... Perhaps even older than you! ;) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:11, 18 January 2010

MrN's pretty old. I heard he can drive. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 07:21, January 18, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost January several-days-ago^th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

Jan 14th, 2010 • Issue71 • Keeping You Guessing

Uncyclopedia Voting Season Arrives, Users Driven To Voting Frenzy By UU 'Tis the season to abstain with extreme prejudice! Yes, every anal-retentive voting obsessive's favourite time of the year has arrived: January marks the point of the year when the awards for the best things of the previous year are voted on! If that's not an oxymoron on a site that is acknowledged to be the worst, of course. This poll-packed month sees WotY, UotY and PotY join (deep breath) WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP as forums for people to air their opinions, prejudices, minor rivalries and petty jealousies. And as if this wasn't enough voting-related thrills 'n' spills, when the Top 10 articles of December 2009 have been decided, there'll be the Top 10 articles of 2009 proper to vote for! UnSignpost's fearless reporter and mascot DogNewspaper (pictured) predicts a bumper month for whoring, in-fighting, backstabbing and bitching as users scramble to secure themselves a fleeting moment's recognition from up to several of their peers. Followed by next to no voting in February, as everyone recovers. From the desk of the Cabal: 2010 ordered to be Drama free By The Cabal As Uncyclopedia drunkenly stumbles into the new decade, barely managing to hold down that spicy dinner it had for lunch, the non-existent cabal would like to wish all residents a happy new year. And by wish we mean order, residents would be subjects and by happy new year we mean fuck you all where communism hasn't failed yet. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we saw it all in 2009. We saw dozens of forums declaring that we're the worst (which we know), we saw numerous editors leave the front door open on the way out (come on people! it's bloody -7 outside!), we saw epic banninations (the simple joys of life), we saw prolific gay bashing (ideologically pure of course), we saw religious wars over sausages, we saw the worst 100 reflections of 2009 barely close before the midnight of December 31st. You promised in 2008 you wouldn't do that. You failed us. And so, ladies and gentlemen, we raise our collective arses from the toilet which was 2009, wiping it with the first anniversary edition of the UnSignpost, as this is the only good thing that ever came out of this rag of a newspaper. We would like to ask humbly that the population of Uncyclopedia do the following: Please, for the love of Sophia, remain calm; exit the building in an orderly fashion; remember that objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are; understand that allergen traces may be found in this Uncyclopedia. And always remember the prime directive: you are here to have fun. Or in short - shut the fuck up and go write an article. Thank you for your undivided attention citizens. You may now remove your muzzles.

Check out these pages! Now you have no excuse Pretend people care what you like It makes as much sense as Scientology, I suppose From our logs: 09:22, 12 January 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 64.40.243.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ ("raccist"? what's that, prejudiced against raccoons?) 03:33, 12 January 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.101.196.155 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (lol i'm astral projecting an image of two gay guys having sex into your mind or something) 19:06, 6 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 216.64.230.79 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Nigger to you too, sir.) 19:05, 5 January 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked JeChr (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus is dead. He's not coming back.) 23:05, 3 January 2010 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.217.57.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.) Biopic of the Week Prowling the corridors of pee review with a light step but a heavy hand, ChiefjusticeDS is Uncyc's reigning king of the golden river. He's reviewed more articles than most Uncyclopedians have read. In their entire lives. And he keeps a benevolent eye on everyone else, making sure there's no stale pee in the pond. If you've had a good review in the last year or so, he probably had a hand in that somewhere. Doff your cap and move on. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Run away from home is a guide to every early teenager's ultimate weapon in the never-ending battle with the forces of evil as represented by their parents. Written by Alksub - who most of our readership won't remember - this is exactly what to do next time your parents don't let you stay out late to meet that nice-sounding kid you met over MSN who seemed very keen to hook up and get to know you better! Trend of the Year (so far) Username changing. Username a little short? Lengthen it for no good reason! All the cool kids are doing it, apparently.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter 09:44, Jan 18

Better late than later

Thank you Geez, now don't I feel like an idiot. I forgot to thank you for voting me Noob of the Month...back in August 2009. While I disappeared shortly after receiving the award, I have now, like Spiderman, decided to live up the responsibility of wielding it's power. If you, like Jesus, can find it in your heart to forgive me, please send $1 to Forgetful Man P.O Box 5564 NSW, Australia.

Thanks for the vote. Sequence 05:48, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Dude! Here's a perfect pic to complement the YouTube on top (which I agree)

--Funnybony 12:59, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Here is a song reminds me of you (by my fav band)

Friends Will Be Friends! CLASSIC!!!

Sorry to clutter you page, but this is too bloody good performance--Funnybony 13:05, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Queen is also my favourite band. Dam dude, you have written SHIT LOADS of pages. Which one would you like me to take a look at first? MrN 20:25, Jan 19

Dude! I've seen Queen live twice, and they are the greatest song writers and live show that ever was. Even the Beatles couldn't play Tomorrow Never Knows live. So many catchy songs, and who else in any group could match Freddy for voice and authority? And what band including the Yardbirds had a guitarist like Brian May who could come up with endless classic solos? No band in history comes even close to material and talent. My all-time fav Queen. Every time I visit YouTube it's to watch a live Queen song.

BTW: I started a page on Freddy Mercury - the wonder kid from Bollywood - who fooled the whole world! Then returned to the Degobha System at age 45 in a yellow UFO with red stripes to the tune of "Who Wants to live forever" - India's greatest International Star! I'll sure need your help to be respectful, because my regard for Freddy in limitless. But we have a really funny subject here, in Bombay Boy goes to London and really Makes Good. Good as in AWESOME!!!

--->The Article I'd love you to edit or contribute the most is Soma, the huffed article by another writer which you saved for me to try. I did my best without getting too philosophical or wordy. Also added some Hindi and Arabic texts (fictional), and lots of silly references. Plus the REAL Soma, a sexy model, who is also pictured. Please let me know how you do. Take care.--Funnybony 20:33, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

You're back!

Good to see you're alive and kicking. Hope your family crisis is resolved, dude. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:14, 19 Jan

UnBooks:Boop!

Well, if you're curious, people had been requesting that article on Forum:UnBook Idea Melting Pot. pillow talk 19:22, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

I had not read that forum. TFK deleted my "This article is pants" article once you know. I cried. I wept. I do try to call em as I see em regardless of the context. Sorry to poop on your Boop. Also... As you wrote it I'm not sure you can declare it an in-joke. Maybe I'm missing something. MrN 19:32, Jan 19

TFK? I remember last time someone called TKF that, and it wasn't pretty. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:37, 19 January 2010

I figured that having four users ask for the page to be written qualified it as an in-joke. pillow talk 19:40, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Un-huff it you numpty! :P -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:14, 19 Jan

Well, if OptyC says so then... :P /me ducks as Hyper takes a swipe As it's sooooo Boop I would allow a VFD right now if someone wanted one. Not that I'm suggesting it... MrN 20:23, Jan 19

Excerpts from MrN's block log (the first few)...

# 06:31, 2 February 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs | block) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 45 
minutes ‎ (Called me TFK) (unblock | change block)
# 06:17, 2 February 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs | block) resurrected MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) ‎ (YOU KNOW ZOMBIEBARON IT 
WOULD BE NICE IF YOU, LIKE, ANNOUNCED THIS STUFF TO THE OTHER ADMINS D: D: D: D: D: D:)
# 05:57, 2 February 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs | block) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ 
(You're not Poopsmith) (unblock | change block)
# 20:32, 25 November 2007 Tom mayfair (Talk | contribs | block) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎ 
(The Name Is Tom. Not Tommy. Only Zommy Can Call Me Tommy.) (unblock | change block) 

MrN 19:44, Jan 19

Lol. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:47, 19 January 2010

I'm not imagining things am I?

Are people adding random crap to this page? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:47, 19 January 2010

Um, well I pressed one of these here buttons and something happened. Can you sort the page now? MrN 19:59, Jan 19

Yeah, and now my coffee pot's overflowing. Thanks a lot, you jerk. pillow talk 20:00, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

You think that's coffee? MrN 20:02, Jan 19

It's lasagne! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:04, 19 January 2010

...

..He's got a garden shed as well? And he asks you to come and visit him there? That bastard...~ 21:44, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Most of the best things to come out of Britain were developed in sheds. A man's kingdom is his shed you might say. MrN 21:50, Jan 19

I always knew you lot are weird. Do you eat baked beans in your sheds? ~ 21:52, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

For me it would be more a case of being sent out to the shed after eating all those baked beans. Very good for your digestion you know. MrN 21:55, Jan 19

Also cuts down on the heating costs. ~ 22:02, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

.

Are you here? I want to irc you. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:50, 20 January 2010

Well, I show up, and you have already run off with the postman. :) MrN 07:56, Jan 20

Australian Stinkatron

Please undelete my Australian Stinkatron article. There are some people who find this funny, even if you don't.

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Australian_Stinkatron&s=wl

Hi there. Well unfortunately we can't cater for everyones taste. I noticed that {{ICU|16:54, January 9, 2010 (UTC)|sub=notfunny}} was added by Under user just prior to you removing that message. That's two admins on Uncyclopedia who are not fans. However... I'm very happy to give you have a copy back in your userspace if you agree to work on it some more. When it's been improved, you can check with either myself, Under user or any other admin on Uncyc and we will be happy move it back into the mainspace for you. As it is it's not up to scratch, and needed more content anyway sorry. Do you agree to do this? MrN 10:19, Jan 20

Soma©

Dude!!! Right now I have that article you rescued up for Pee. Maybe you could grab it for review, and we could make it really great. Cool subject.--Funnybony 21:43, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

hard on

Dude! I had last couple Pee by user named "Iwillkillyou" - and after seeing the name I knew I didn't want to read the review nor comments. What fool is going to stick out his chin when someone is throwing a punch? We're supposed to duck! So duck I have, and the articles are stuck, they were Laird Hamilton and G-Rex. I think they're good, and so does Max. Whattya think? Thanks to my mentor--Funnybony 21:51, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

So many articles! Also... So many different entries on my talk page! Um, let's try here... Firstly I am very jealous that you got to see Queen live when Freddie was still alive. Must have been awesome. From what you said, I think we agree that the Beatles would be choice number 2 also. I'm going to take a closer look at Soma for ya. I have been reading up around the subject also. Interesting stuff. I'm interested in the Vedic side of things especially. As for the Pee Reviews. Um. Silly Funnybony. If someone has bothered to write ya a Pee Review I doubt they are actually going to kill you. I do know this user and I'm sure they will be useful reviews. Read them, and always remember to thank the reviewer afterwards. Have you done any Pee Reviews? If not... Try it. Telling someone else what to do is often a good way to learn yourself. If you can't explain it to another person then you sure as heck don't understand it yourself. Pee Reviews are VERY tricky to do, and can be even harder to receive. The trick is.... As I mentioned... Don't care too much about what they say It's just one persons opinion. Uncyc gets about 100,000 unique visitors per day. 1 Persons view out of that is hardly worth that much. But... It might be useful. That's for you to decide.

Probably more useful also is to get more involved with editing articles which you did not create. If you are looking for input on one of your articles, there is nothing better than helping someone else out. The editors on Uncyclopedia I admire the most are Cajek and Under user. Both have created and written many articles, but have helped out many, many more. Why do they do this? Because it's fun! Really... Although it appears to be problematic when you first look at it. Helping someone else with their article can actually be more rewarding than writing an article entirely on your own. People tend to get worried about "upsetting the other editor" or "interfering with the article". That's just balls. Some people react in bad ways, but most don't. Again, the trick is to not care too much whatever happens. If you get a bad reaction, forget it and more on. The good experiences make it worth it. Some people really like to have others edit "their" page and others less so. Those who don't like it are dicks and should not be editing a wiki which anyone can edit. The point is that actually there is no concept of "their" article. Just like there is no concept of "your" article. OK, the person who creates the page usually ends up getting the FA template on their userpage but that is the extent of that. It is in very real terms totally meaningless. Just a few pixels on the page. The people around this place who really know what is what are very aware that the most useful users here are the ones who help others, not those who have the most FA templates on their user page. For example looking at UU's position on the UN:HOS with a "score" of 16.5 totally misrepresents the enormous contribution which he has given to others. What does matter is to have fun, and maybe pass on a few ideas which might make the world a slightly better/funnier place. Personally I find editing other peoples articles the most satisfying thing on Uncyc. That and banning Cajek obviously. The trick is to pick subject which you are interested in, and find out who is working on these articles. Basically you need to find active users who are into similar subjects as yourself, and get involved with what they are working on. If you like, ask them if they mind you contributing. Most will be as grateful for the input as you would be. Now... When you have helped someone with their page, you are in a much stronger position to ask them to take a look at something you have done. Suck as well as blow and all that. Thing is... Sucking and Blowing are actually equally fun. ;) It's just that often people avoid getting involved with other users because of perceived problems which might arise which are (in almost every case) wrong. It's odd really. This whole Wiki, every page, all of it belongs to every user who edits here. Uncyc does not belong to Wikia. Fuck no, and no page belongs to anyone. Some people are more protective of some pages, but they get less edits to those pages, and so are not as good as they could be.

Ok, I'm not really sure why I'm wandering off into this subject, perhaps it's cos you turn up on my talk page saying that you have not even read a Pee Review which someone else has done. That's crazy, and is clear evidence that the way you are looking at this Wiki and how to handle the users on it is wrong. I think you may be a little over concerned about negative criticism, but you need to remember that ALL input is good input. Even the negative stuff. It's only a problem if you allow it to upset you. My suggestion to you now, as to what to do in your Uncyc career would be to branch out a lot more into getting involved with lots of different users. You appear to have a lot of spare time on this place! I guess when a chap gets to 62 he has these opportunities ;) Anyway... You will improve your writing style, and learn to be a better writer. By following more closely how other editors write you will also pick up a lot of tips that way.

So what am I actually saying? OK, I will try to boil it down... Dam this rant is going on, even for me!!! Um... Yea. Stop creating new articles for a bit. Go to recent changes... See who is editing what. If it's a user who you think is likely to stick around (check their contributions and user page if you don't already know then), and it's a subject which you are interested in go to that article and toss a few edits in. Remember to leave a comment when you save your edit. That makes a big difference. Add the page to your watchlist, and then wait to see what happens when they notice your edits. Some people will react better than others, but as I explained those who have a problem with that are dicks and not worthy of your concern. Some people will absolutely love it. When you get into a situation where you are really enjoying working together with another user you will understand what I mean. It really is fun. It's such a shame that more people don't get past the point of being able to do it. Then... Go to recent changes... See who is editing what. If it's a user who you think is likely to stick around, and it's a subject which you are interested in go to that article and toss a few edits in.... You get the idea. I honestly think you might find a very rewarding experience. This is after all what wikis are all about. Special:NewPages is a great place to find article to edit also. Find something which looks interesting, and get involved. It really can be a lot of fun. Honest. That's why we do it. ;)

As for the two articles you mentioned I have not looked at them yet, as I'm going to take a proper look at Soma. That happens to be an area which I have interest in, so I can use editing your article as a way of helping me to learn about it. I just started a new article myself today actually. It's called Pants Bomber. It's about that cough terrorist attack on December 25th on the plane. Take a look maybe if that's a subject which is of interest to yourself. Something makes me think it just might be... ;) MrN 23:04, Jan 20

I'm still waiting to read about that part when you say you admire me as well. /me taps foot ~ 23:39, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

I also admire Mordillo. He's the guy who has actually been running this site for quite a while now... How about that? MrN 23:49, Jan 20

Ah, /me leans back in the sofa and fart. Much better O_O ~ 08:31, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks a million, Dude! I really appreciate the time you have taken to explain to me everything above. That is friendship. I WILL read it all again. BTW: The reason this 62 year old has time is because when you get older you wise up, that, if I have many things to do, I can 1) do them all my self, or 2) delegate to employees who need the job. I actually run a million dollar business, but have loads of employees, each expert in their particular job, so they do the work, even better than I could. I have many long time employees - some have been working for me over 20 years, some 15 years. They must be happy. But that's the trick to being older. Feeling old is all a matter of health. My parents are still fine, and I have a 13 years old son, and wife 20 years younger, so that is also the secret to not feeling very old. Plus I live in Siam where age counts and is respected. So far-so good! I'll check those reviews now you have certified the person. Let me know how you like Soma. Queen were great live, but recorded concerts were done so well they're even better. I enjoy the recorded concerts more than live ones because you can see much better. But the only thing I saw in live is how Freddy could control a HUGE crowd. In a big concert he might be so far away that he's half inch tall, but man, does he rule! Thanks again--Funnybony 17:07, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

Bald Limey Whore

I saw that on my article. It's just pathetic to get links to your stuff, I'd expect such behavior from the others but not from you;-)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:34, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah! --UU - natter 13:03, Jan 21

Give the robot a big drink of oil

Fire him up, and point him in the direction of Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/21-01-10, if you would be so good. (There are other reasons why it's good to see you back, incidentally). --UU - natter 13:03, Jan 21

Thanks dude - not sure I could have managed a second hand-delivery without going somewhat peculiar. --UU - natter 12:05, Jan 22

No problem. Like I said it was actually a bit of a bugger running the bot b4 as it used to keep crashing. Hopefully it's fixed now, so it's no problem at all to do... MrN 12:25, Jan 22

UnSignpost 21th January 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

Jan 21st, 2010 • Issue 72 • Yorkshire-style news

Awards of the Year race thrillingly poised By UU Yes folks, as the first month of this new decade lurches slowly and falteringly towards conclusion, the ... of the Year awards showdown is accelerating towards a thrilling climax! Your ever-topical UnSignpost mascot DogNewspaper therefore brings you this essential and timely guide to the runners and riders!. In the most prestigious award of the lot, Writer of the Year, the race for second place behind prolific funny factory and champion-elect Hype is neck and neck between apparently-no-longer-hirsute TKF fan-club president and feature-machine Guildy and low-profile but high-quality-output, er, feature-machine Sog1970. But wait! There's still a chance they could get caught by the chasing pack of little-known and modest Scouser Mhaille, hetero macho-man Orian57, antipodean canine PuppyOnTheRadio and none-more-metal mosher Monika. Oh, and some other chancers have been nommed without polling a single vote (including DrStrange, who is currently looking likely to become the first Uncyclopedian ever to win WotM twice, but hasn't carried that form over to WotY - odd). Meanwhile, over at PotY, the race for second place behind Sonje is even closer, with both Modus and some n00b polling a creditable one nom but no votes each! Who will pull ahead by the end of the month? It's a competition you just can't keep your eyes off! Disappointingly, the UotY vote lets the side down, with seemingly a boring old race for first place between Belgian one-man categorisation whirlwind, maintenance addict, broken thing fixer, BUTT POOP!!! junkie and footwear-as-handwear exponent Socky and handsome English admin who wrote this article and is not in the least bit biased UU. The apparent scramble to be runner-up to whichever of these two is runner-up is far more interesting, as non-stop wikifixer MadMax goes up against Welsh Rarebit RabbiTechno, not-Yorkshire-enough admin Mordillo, vowel-free-zone Mnbvcxz and Moterfucking Nigger Lover Roman Dog Bird. Damned with the faint praise of a nom with no votes in this category are the pants bomber, talk page king FU Spang, human non-sequitur generator Modus and absent but deadly hockey nut Gerry. And finally, over where it's really at, the NotD cockfight is almost impossible to call! Will plucky outsider RC hold off the challenge of Apple, Apples and Maddie's life? The tension is quite literally unbearable! But remember kids: whoever "wins", we're all still losers. And now, your not-at-all-struggling-for-material Signpost brings you... Horoscopes! By GlobalTourniquet Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week, you have a dream, that one day you will be judged not by the color of your skin but by Simon Cowell. Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - If Martin Luther King had believed them when they told him "Silence is golden", he never would have accomplished his great work in the cause of civil rights. You, on the other hand, are just a mouthy bitch. Silence is golden. For the rest of this week's horoscopes in full, see the horoscopes page, obviously.

Check out these pages! Narcissism? On the intertubes? Serious businesszzzzszszz - sorry, nodded off there Breaking News: We're The Worst! From our logs: 06:45, 20 January 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked I LIKE PIE!!! (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 48 hours ‎ (This is your local formatting nazi-admin reminding you to stop undoing people's formatting fixes. Learn to wiki, pl0x. And don't harrass people trying to help.) 01:04, 18 January 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.61.194.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (suspected homophobe. might hate gays. or he's just a faggot.) 12:33, 18 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 196.12.233.26 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And the Lord said unto me, "Cursed are the page blankers, for they are the least of my creations; take up thy banhammer and smite them") Biopic of the Week Conscientious vote-machine Romartus has been around longer than you might think - kick-starting his Uncyc career with a series of DYK suggestions, before hitting his stride. Known as one of the more "demanding" voters on VFH, Romartus has also been diligently saving some of the less-deserving articles on VFD. He also breeds tropical ferrets. One of the previous statements is a lie, introduced by the biographer in lieu of a joke. Use your skill and judgement to work out which one! Old-School Featured Article of the Week Really Big Tree is an article about a really big tree. This tree is of such an immense size, it is scarcely credible. Few trees deserve their own Uncyclopedia article, but the Really Big Tree deserves its own wiki. You may think you have encountered trees of impressive size before, but you haven't seen a tree at all until you've experienced the Really Big Tree! Cajek UnBlock of the week! MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) resurrected Cajek (Talk | contribs) (blocking Cajek is Sooooo old school. Unblocking Cajek is the new, new school. Not that I went to school. Obviously.) The (probably short-lived) return of UU's Obscure British Dialect Expression of the Week Were you to find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, you may happen upon a local. Were that local to then say to you "dew yew keep a troshin'", you may find yourself somewhat at a loss for a reasonable response - well, no more! Yes, your ever-useful UnSignpost is here to furnish you with a translation, which is: "take care of yourself". (It comes from "carry on with the threshing", if that helps, although we can't see how it would). So now if you find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, the only thing you have to worry about is getting out of there. Fast!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot)  17:36, Jan 21

Happy Birthday to Your Mum

I saw a note that 21 January is your Mum's birthday. If so, happy birthday, MrN9000's mum! Also did you know today is Hug Day? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:01, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

MuM9000 sends her regards. I will pass on the hugs. MrN 23:03, Jan 21

Thanks

Thanks for banning the guy who was messing with my user space, and thanks also for being around to do admin stuff this evening, these are good things and you will be rewarded... just not by me, I have no money or other things of value. OK, that's all I had to say, I'm leaving now. --ChiefjusticeDS 00:05, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

I, on the other hand, think you're a jerk and you deserve to be punished. (But not by me, I don't swing that way.) But you're right about User talk:Paddd. I've had the page on my watchlist for a long time because I expected them to try and move it to userspace once they were done clowning around, but it's probably better for to nip it in the bud, so to speak. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 00:12, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Well they did not reply anyway, so I huffed it. That page was not really UN:CBN but it was never going to be an article so no loss... MrN 00:23, Jan 22

"Nip it in the bud." -- Deputy Barney Fife. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:14, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

There appears to be a lot of that going on. How about leaving the drama at the door now regarding the other issue. The new image is totally different. The person is MUCH older, was well aware of the context of the photo which they themselves took, and are very able to defend themselves if they wish to. Please drop it now. MrN 01:18, Jan 22

My vote

I changed the image back to the one (File:Shuffle09_03.jpg) that appeared on the article when I voted for. Several people have changed the image, not because of the controversy, but because they found one they liked better. I changed it back to the one I and at least two other people liked best (one of those people changed it to that image, and the other said he liked it best, as did I). But to avoid a problem, this time I'll simply do it with a note saying some of us like this image better. I hope that's not a problem. Happy editing! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:21, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Did you read my comment above? Read it again. MrN 01:29, Jan 22

I hadn't read your comment above, sorry. Apparently it was posted right before I started writing this, and I hadn't noticed it. But if we can ignore the controversy for a moment, an editor put up an image for the article that he liked that replaced a previous image. I and another editor both said we liked that the replacement best--and the other editor was the one who put up the previous image. With three editors who liked that image best, is a problem to go back to the image I voted for and the one whose image was replaced also preferred? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:35, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

As the main author of the article Ape would normally get to choose. Did you not know that. That's basic Wiki knowledge. MrN 01:39, Jan 22

At the point the image was put up, Ape hadn't made any comment on the issue, at least as far as I know. Ape had now apparently commented, so I'll leave this alone. My primary concern was having a young child up there; that's been taken care of. So I'm off to do something else now. Happy editing! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:44, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Lol. Dude your Wikipedia style conversation bullshit actually makes me laugh. Having let a night pass I now have the following comments for you... We are not Wikipedia, we are Uncyclopedia. Anyone reading the above passage of text might actually get the impression that you are the innocent one here when actually what you did was borderline trolling. Here are the facts...

1. You went to Sannse because you did not think you would get the result you wanted from the other Admins at Uncyc.
2. The problem was fixed when the image of the really young kid was removed.

Point 1: OK. I don't really give a monkeys if you don't agree about point 1. That's REALLY is what I think. I suspect that's also what everyone else thinks. If you don't think the admins on this site are capable of handling admin issues then you are editing the wrong site. Really, maybe you should leave if you don't trust the admins here. That's how strongly I feel about that point. If this is not the case, please show me where you were told by either Sannse or another sysop only to talk to Wikia staff and I will apologise for the above statement.

Point 2: After the image of the really young girl was removed you then CONTINUED to press the issue. When another image which was clearly not a problem was presented you still tried to continue fighting. Did you seriously think it was not OK to have that second image of Miley Cyrus there? If you do, then your judgement about Uncyc is SO far from reality that... Maybe you should leave. Probably the most offensive thing to me about the way you handled this is how you acted like a Wikipedian who will use whatever bureaucratic loophole in policy they can find to force their will when they actually know very well that what they are doing is against the spirit of the wiki. You also use confusing and miss directing descriptions of events in your talk page conversations in an effort to present a distorted impression of what happened to any casual passing reader. Like Wikipedians, the way you write them is actually intended to hide your true agenda from those who have not actually deeply looked into the issue, and actually know all the facts. I think almost all of what you do on Uncyc is awesome, and most of the time I really enjoy having you around. But, you need to stop thinking and acting like a Wikipedian and start thinking and acting more like an Uncyclopedian. Please. MrN 09:50, Jan 22

I really don't know how to respond to this in a way that would be helpful, so I won't other than to say thanks for your advice. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:37, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Cool. MrN 21:54, Jan 22

charizardman101

i never clamied that i won them – Preceding unsigned comment added by Charizardman101 (talk • contribs)

Um. Yes you did. I'm sorry, you are not having your user page like that. If you put it back again without talking to me first I will block you. Why do you want all that stuff on your page anyway? MrN 09:55, Jan 22

Freddy would really have loved to hear this

Would Freddy Mercury enjoy hearing this?

Happy Birthday To Your Mother

I know. I'm one day late. She'll forgive me, right? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:52, 22 January 2010

No. Your name will be added to the list... MrN 21:54, Jan 22

---Hey, when I saw the news I DID think about it. So don't add me to the Yo-mamma shit list--Funnybony 22:29, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Hea, sure. No. Your name will not be added. Just Socky's. He's trouble. :P MrN 22:35, Jan 22

Yeah, you're right about that. :P —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:36, 22 January 2010

Damn

You've just shown you can pwn noobs and people who have been here four months, all while not sounding like a douche! I must watch out around you, honorable sir. Unworthy Pff

Um. ... MrN 22:37, Jan 22

Please excuse me, I'm a retarded noob. ^^'HELPME

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi

OK so I got the wrong Sci Fi series.

It's been proposed by me and another user that thet the Imperial Colonization version of Transformers be moved to main space (one proposal over a week ago, the other, that it be mainspaced or dropped, over a month ago), and there's been no objection and no action.

I would move it myself, but as there's already an article in main space, I'm afraid I'd screw things up. As you're an admin who's worked with IC, can you either do this or let me know how to do it?

Discussions about moving it are here and there. Transformers, more than meets the eye. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:01, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your help transforming the article. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:17, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Well the "problem" is keeping the edit history. I have to huff the original, move the new one over, huff that, and then I can un-huff the page which merges the two together. This (as you can tell) is not ideal. Next time there is a colonisation I'm going to recommend that the actual REAL page be used, not another one like the "project" page. It's the same problem with talk pages... MrN 23:21, Jan 22

All right, that makes sense and explains why I couldn't figure out a way to make it work. Ironically, the only person who suggested an admin do it was a noob. I think it would be cool if you made your suggestion soon, as I'd really like to see IC moving. Unless, of course, it's already died from lack of interest, in which case I don't want to see it moving. Mindless zombies make me nervous. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:28, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

I'm actually talking to OptyC on IRC now. He has been involved in Colonization a lot. Apparently they normally just do a cut and paste over the top of the mainspace article. The key point is that the template be placed onto the mainspace article before the Colonization begins, and stays on there during the Colonization. That kinda bends the rules and means that it's OK to replace the page as any editors have the chance of contributing to the new version. So... I guess it stays as it is, and I don't need to move em any more. MrN 23:39, Jan 22

Nub. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:42, 22 Jan

All right. I do wonder, though, if it's done that way, will the colonization history and colonization talk page be lost? My knowledge of moving articles on wikis is extremely limited. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:45, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, it's lost. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:48, 22 Jan

Personally, I do care. I would prefer using the huff method MrN9000 used. I'd rather see the history preserved, even if one or two of my posts there did make me look like an ass. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:52, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

It IS pretty hard to make an archive for the pre-IC talkpage and then just c/p the project's talkpage onto the main talkpage I guess... -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:55, 22 Jan

That's all up to the colonization community anyway. Which is rather dead right now... MrN 00:05, Jan 23

I just found IC policy on the matter. It's here. In part, it says "...an admin helps move the Colonized version to the existing article. (Do not try to do this yourself, there is a way to preserve both histories and it is important that the history is preserved." King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:40, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

Hold the mouse over the bit where is says "an admin"... ;) Like I said, it's kinda dead now anyway. IC needs to have someone who is willing to drive the project forward. A user who will be there for a long period of time and can keep the thing going and motivate the others to get involved. That was SysRq a while back. He probably wrote that thing you are pointing to. Probably as a result of something I said. Whatever "policy" is and whatever actually got done were probably two different things. As is often the case with Uncyc. OptyC would know as he was far more involved in it than I was. MrN 01:45, Jan 23

I see your point about the dead thing. Becaue of that, would it be good to remove the IC link from the Main Page, and also from the generic welcome message? I removed it from my welcome message because I realized I'd be sending bristling-with-excitement-Noobs to a dead place where they'd likely get discouraged more than anything. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:54, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

Hmm. Maybe. I would rather someone took IC on again and got it running. Need to talk someone into doing it... MrN 01:58, Jan 23

That would be great if you can talk someone into doing it. I've seen a revivial or two attempted in the short time I've been here, and it hasn't worked so far. But if you can talk someone into getting it going, that's great because I really think IC is a fantabulistic idea. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:06, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

There's so many indents, I'm starting a new area. The contributor's list needs to be updated, but Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/The Big Board says "Tagstit, SysRq, and Gerry are the only ones who need to be editing this template." Unfortunately, Gerrycheevers' last contribution was on 25 November 2009, SysRq's on 14 July 2009, and Tagstit's on 24 August 2009. So it might be quite a while before it's done, and I think the longer IC sits idle the more chance it will die permanently. I talked to Optmuschris about it, and he said go ahead and update it. But I wanted to run it by an admin first. You can see our discussion here. I wanted to run it by you as an admin before I do anything. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:16, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

Well I think that Optimuschris is probably the most active member of IC who is still around. If it's OK with him, it's OK with me. Consider yourself the new director of IC. Can you get it running again? It will take a lot of dedication... Now you are in trouble... :D Have fun with it... MrN 19:21, Jan 23

Um, thanks for the support. But, um, I said I wanted to help update a list, not take over. I'm really weak on necromatic spells, so if it's really dead I don't think I can bring it back to life. (Seriously, let me take the next day or two to think about it. I might be willing to see it through the next article, or at least try). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:28, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

All right, I thought about it. I'm going to try to see it through another colonization. After that, who knows. If you or anyone else wants to help, or just laugh at me trying to steer a sinking ship, let me know! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:23, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Ban lol

Now I'm two higher than forty-two. Forty more to go! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:20, 23 January 2010

And Uncyclopedia is suing for sexual harassment.

I'm looking at your ban log, and a bunch are 1 second spam bans. You cheat you. (I know it wasn't you, but still. STILL.) HELPME

Well, if they'd all be infinite bans, I wouldn't be editing now, would I? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:26, 23 January 2010

No, I mean literally one second.

And you're the only non-gobshite I know to get two serious infinite blocks. HELPME

Well, one was kinda harsh from Tommy for obvious sockpuppetry and TKF's one was just a joke. He was actually expecting me to sockpuppet my way out of the ban. Silly TKF. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:32, 23 January 2010

I knew the TKF one was fake, but in August the very user who's talk page we're editing infi-blocked you. I think he was serious too. HELPME

# 23:07, 9 August 2009 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs | block) resurrected Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) ‎
# 22:56, 9 August 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry 
time of infinite ‎ (Fuck it!!! Might as well ban Socky also... Staring down the barrel of a gun. Out of all the cranky assholes I've 
had to deal with on this site, you definitely wrote the best. Welp, goodbye) (unblock | change block)

Um. Did that happen?

Also... /me pulls out broom Get of my lawn you pesky kids!!!! Shoooooooo!!!! MrN 02:36, Jan 23

Don't call me a kid, you poopyface doodyhead!

Yeah, I'm going, I'm goingHELPME

Actually I think it was in the middle of me doing some other serious admin stuff. I banned socky also purely for good measure... MrN 02:46, Jan 23

STOP

STOP ABUSING UR POWER TO DELEATE PAGES UR KEEP DELEATING MINE FOR NO BAT ******* REASON IF U DONT STOP I WILL TELL A ADMIN AND UR STARTING TO PISS ME OFF CHARIZARDMAN101 OUT

My previous statement still stands. I already asked you a question. If you want a conversation, you need to answer it. MrN 10:29, Jan 23

Hey, I heard there is a problem with this admin. Do you need an admin? ~ 17:47, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

I'm an admin, can I help? -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:48, 23 Jan

Opty C is the sexiest of all the admins. Fear his mojo. --UU - natter 20:19, Jan 23

Every time you scream at an admin, Santa takes a dump on a puppy. :( HELPME

GO AND WRITE AN ARTICLE!!!!! MrN 20:35, Jan 23

Me? HELPME

Yes. MrN 20:40, Jan 23

Look, a distraction!

Fuck. Didn't work. Well, really, I just haven't been feeling incredibly creative lately. Also, I can't think of what to write about. All packed up with my epic laziness. I have a feeling my first one will be huffed in less than 25 seconds, so >.< HELPME

Uncyclopedia:What_You_Can_Do. ;) MrN 20:50, Jan 23

I have cleaned up a few articles, and I do vote. At least I'm doing something. I find the ones with the blue template and fix spelling and grammar, remove stupid stuff, input more/better jokes, etc. HELPME

I wrote something!

It's been what, a year? Except for IC anyways. It sucks, but at least I finally got off my lazy ass and did something. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I left my iron on. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:42, 23 Jan

Opty C is the sexiest of all the authors. Fear his mojo. --UU - natter 20:19, Jan 23

Supports who?

Supports Chelsea? Supports fucking Chelsea? Sassenrassenfrassen rickfuckin'rastardry.... Bloody southerners, know nowt about football! ;-) --UU - natter 20:19, Jan 23

*phew*. MrN 20:22, Jan 23

Huffed page recreation

I'm going to do it. I think I can devote enough time this go around to create a Jefferson Davis page. just letting you know since you huffed the version I was originally working on about a year ago. --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 16:18 EST 23 January, 2010

Hea, no problem. Go for it. I just took a look at your old version and all it said was "Jefferson Davis is best known for being the first president of the Confederate States of America."  :) Good luck with the new version. MrN 21:23, Jan 23

Filipino Article

I saw that you have reverted the Filipino Article. I deleted the other sections because: the lists were a rip-off from forwarded emails circulating within the filipino community; the lists are just too long and random.

I shall clean up the page once again.

Thanks --Gilgal1(Talk to me bitch!!!) 22:16, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

Well, some of them made me giggle, but if you are sure you know what you are doing... Maybe keep a few of the best ones in a shorter list? MrN 22:23, Jan 23

I did keep some of them, and cleaned up the page. Still editing it - lots of misspelled words and grammatical errors. It was quite awhile since I last maintained the page. Thanks! :)

BTW, love the boobies in your sig.

--Gilgal1(Talk to me bitch!!!) 22:56, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, I used to have some golden ones, but they were a bit too ostentatious. Looks like you are doing good things with the Filipino article. Thanks for that also. MrN 23:13, Jan 23

Can't you come up with a Funnier Ban Reason?

I watch some edits form a lame IP Blanker known as 212.183.140.19 . I was so disappointed taht you only used the reason Wanker to deal with the block. Come on Wnaker? Can you plase reban that IP with a funnier reason for me? Below is the Ban Logs you had for that IP:

• 11:41, January 24, 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 212.183.140.19 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (Wanker / Wikipedia user)
• 11:39, January 24, 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.183.140.19 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Wanker)

--Pleb- Sawblade5 ^{( yell | FAQ | I did this )} 11:47, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

"Wanker" is actually considered a complement where I come from. I thought I got him on "Wikipedia user though". Hmm... MrN 11:50, Jan 24

Late thanks

An expression of gratitude We appreciate your discerning judgment and shrewd disposition in voting for HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics, even though the author is a ne'er-do-well and never pealed a steeple bell.

~ 18:13, Jan 24, 2010

I LIKE PIE!!! (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser

The kid's 10 years old. And mentally retarded. Doesn't that violate some sort of site policy? • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 20:06 • Sunday, 24-01-2010

Probably if the admins here actually followed the Wikia rules yes... I'm sure when he returns he will give us enough justification to make the ban a lot longer. MrN 20:09, Jan 24

Being 10 years old, maybe. Being retarded definitely not, otherwise we'd have a lot less contributors.

(Also, I don't think ILP is retarded, per se, just 10 years old.)  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  24 Jan 2010 ~ 20:17 (UTC)

Ten bucks he's a Down's. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 20:25 • Sunday, 24-01-2010

I'm down with that. Cha-ching! ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  24 Jan 2010 ~ 20:31 (UTC)

A lot of the "retards" are trolls looking to spark a reaction also... Some are real I'm sure. MrN 20:29, Jan 24

I think there's an ounce of stupid in the pie he likes so much. =/HELPME

What gives?

Hey I noticed you reverted an edit from ILP on my talk page. Not that I'm mad or anything, just mostly curious. (Keep this up though & you could have stuff crawling all over your page from angry mob-like users that aren't me.) Lie down on the couch and tell me your underling motivations. What was your childhood like. Tell me about your mother...  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  24 Jan 2010 ~ 20:31 (UTC)

If you read the above section... Master Pie went too far with the idiocy to the point of disruptive trolling so I blocked him for the week. I also reverted a load of his recent edits as they were all total carp and I guess your page was one of them. MrN 23:10, Jan 24

Well that makes sense then, carry on. I did read the section, just didn't make the connection until you spelled it out for me. Sometimes I'm not a gud speler.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  25 Jan 2010 ~ 02:02 (UTC)

Cool. I did take a look through some of his contribution before blocking. I'm not sure he's worth your time, but that's up to you... MrN 02:04, Jan 25

You may be right. But he's ten and I have no control over whether he sinks or swims. I figure as long as he isn't infinitely banned I might as well interact with him. Or something. (We were all ten once right?)  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  25 Jan 2010 ~ 18:58 (UTC)

Mentions what drug?

Dude! Are you talking about the Hindi Stuff and Arabic stuff I'm dreaming up for Soma? I know Hindi, and the translations are right, but it's all BS.

Hey, Thanks for the honor on Wikipedia, I go way back with them. Cool--Funnybony 22:54, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

Hehe. I bet it's a real complement when people don't believe that you are you. Lolz. I noticed that they were complaining about some of the pictures of yourself you uploaded. LOL LOL LOL. ... I'm taking a look into the whole Soma thing and doing some reading around. Was not talking about the Hindi stuff, though I doubt many people will get that, but hea you should write to entertain yourself, not others. ... Also... REPLY WHERE WE POST YOU BUGGER! It makes it a lot easier for the stalkers to keep track of things. One thing you don't want to do is upset a stalker. MrN 23:16, Jan 24

Yeah, they get all forlorn & less stalky.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  25 Jan 2010 ~ 02:02 (UTC)

Older than your mom (even)

By all means, stalk on! I'm "stalked" to hear it. Where was that original post, anyway? How's a dude older than your Mom supposed to remember anything? When I was born the the wisest quote was, "The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.". I'm on good terms with Wikipedia, that was because when I uploaded the picture I thought it was Uncyclopedia.

BTW: Here's an interesting article I did for Wikipedia on my specialty: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navaratna

Hey, I added redirect from (Un)User:Rickbrown9 to Funnybony. Then if people click your thingy on Wikipedia it will go to (un) User: Rickbrown9 (which was empty) and now redirected. Is that OK?

I added more funny Arabic to Soma, and shortened the lists. It's up for Pee now. Thanks!--Funnybony 09:08, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, awesome. That's what I was hoping you would do. Those buggers at Wikipedia hate it when someone has a Uncyc link. Seriously, WP:DENY and all that. Many people at WP think that "vandals come from Uncyc" not realising that Uncyc gives people a place to play that would otherwise be vandalising WP cos they are so far up their own ass. Led did rather a good Uncyc policy on WP actually it's Uncyclopedia:Wikipedia. :D Not everyone likes to admit their true identity on Uncyc. There are probably enough people on here that don't like me it might not be a good idea. Maybe I might grow some balls and post a real picture of myself one day. That pic on my user page (the one snowboarding) is me. I looked at that link... Yes, that is an interesting article. I wonder if that's where the 9 rings in Lord of the rings comes from... I'm convinced that the planet Saturn (the lord of the rings) has a lot to do with the foundation of modern religion. I have done some research into the Vedic side of things but am doing more now. I'm totally convinced that those guys really had some special knowledge back then, and that some of it survives today in various forms. Yea, they knew years ago that the sun went around the earth, and also about the planets. Same knowledge that the Mayans had by all accounts. I wonder where they got it from. It's almost funny reading up about this stuff. There are so many places where you can look and say... "Yea, I see, that's where such and such probably came from". Some people think the roots of Humanity are with the Sumerian's but I fancy it goes back a lot further than that. Did you know that apparently there is water damage on the Sphinx which would mean it is a lot older than it's claimed to be as there has not been enough rain there for 10,000 years... Anyway... I bet you already knew everything which I just said about Lord of the Rings... But I bet you did not know that I had already figured it out.  ;) Great to see that you are using Pee Review more. Have you done any reviews yourself? It WILL help your own writing style and make you a better writer. I have done over 50 reviews myself over the years and I know it really helps a lot. Oh, if you are playing to the masses, people don't like list early in the article, if you need to have a list, try to have it later in the article if you can. I'm going to spend the day looking more into Soma, and the Vedic I think. :D Thanks for the link. Very interesting. MrN 10:53, Jan 25

Please forgive me my buccaneering

MrN9000, just to keep you informed, this is what I posted to the IC trilogy and some of the more active members. I greatly appreciate your encouragement, as I told the others. But I've started updating and making minor changes, and am afraid I may have unwittingly stepped on some toes. I'd greatly appreciate any advice you have for me.

Also please forgive me for posting the same notice on more than one person's talk page. Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization finally finished its latest effort, Transformers. Actually, it had been on IC for four months and no one objected to a couple notices about it being moved to mainspace. So I asked admin and IC member MrN9000 to move it, which he did, complete with talk page and history, which I greatly appreciated. Then I wondered when someone would update the list at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/The Big Board, but saw the note "Tagstit, SysRq, and Gerry are the only ones who need to be editing this template." But sadly, the most recent Uncyclopedia edit by a member of the trilogy was two months ago. MrN9000 basically said if it was OK with active colonizer Optimuschris it was OK with him if I updated the list, which was all I planned to do. But then MrN said "Consider yourself the new director of IC." I really appreciate his help and encouragement, but all I was trying to do was get the list updated, and now I'm afraid I may have unintentionally stepped on some toes. I would be happy to carry this through the next article, if that's not a problem with anyone in IC, but never intended to cause a conflict with anyone. Please let me know if there's a problem here, and what we can do to fix it. You can see the discussions here and there. Thanks! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  08:58, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

You remind me a bit of myself when I first got here... Here's the thing... We trust you. I have said that you can run IC. OptyC agreed that this was fine. It's all yours. You don't need to check that it's OK every time you do something with it. If SysRq (who was running IC) returns he's NOT going to be upset that you have taken it on. As Ben Kenobi once said to Luke Skywalker:

“ You must do what you feel is right of course. ”

If you want that translated in Wikipedian.... Uncyc supports italic editing. Not that I'm objecting to you being careful, but I think you maybe just need to be a bit more confident that you know what you are doing. Cos you do. If you only intend to do one IC (I hope you do a lot more) then all I ask is that you leave it in a suitable state when you are finished with it. So... Get on with running IC! MrN 11:06, Jan 25

All right, thanks. I'll try being a hearty, brave, fearless buccaneer. ARRRR! User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 19:07, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

I may well see this through more than one article--I've spent a number of hours over the last couple of days making revisions, adding templates, working on new templates, updating lists, etc. It's a hell of a lot of work just to oversee one article.

Also you remember how just a few days ago I said it might be a good idea to remove the link to the nearly dead IC from the Main Page and you were nice enough to remove it? Well, now that I'm working to revive IC, um, er, um, could you add it back, please? (I know, I'm such a putz). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:52, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Why you hate Jews and Honkies

God call with the template, I was thinking off adding it myself. As to the Cohen quote, I think the song deals a lot with controling the world, as well as your own little kingdom and ties in well with the whole 'Blame the Jews ideology' of Icke and other theorists of his kind (Cohen being one of 'them'). So it kind of sums it up. Also happy Burns Night, hope you spend it less drunk than I will, also exams all over woo!--Sycamore (Talk) 13:47, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

You know that "Bilder" in the name relates back to the "Builders" right? Those guys were around a VERY long time ago. Also the Knights Templar turned into the Scottish rite, rather than merged with them. Also... IMO Icke believes in "Reptilian Blood lines". Not "The Jews did it". We both know he does not believe in "Real" Reptiles. ;) As in "Blood lines" which have developed over time with a more forceful reptilian (evil mass hoarding for no reason) brain as a result of in-breeding. He thinks the Queen and Bush family fits into this for example. I have watched most of Icke's stuff BTW. Hours and hours of it. Yes, I'm that sad. I have gone into a lot more crazy stuff than Icke also (cos that's where you have to look to find the truth). I don't think Icke is an Anti-Semite ;) That's a porky pie spun by rich fuckers trying to make him look evil. Don't know about Cohen though, but Icke? Na. He just hates the in-breed rich fuckers who rule the planet. MrN 14:06, Jan 25

Don't forget Atlantis stuff either;), I'm not really trying for accuracy and don't know too much about the Bilderbergers, as it’s not really important for this article – I’m going for something else. There’s always an 'other' like in Beowulf for instance that both represents and validates those in power. Ironically for conspiracy theorists this other is the society which they come from. I disagree a bit on the Jew bit though (there is a focus on Jews, perhaps as a reaction to Fascism amongst the baby boomers whom most of the theorists are), and whether Ickes message is really about inbreeds and reptiles - I would argue that he’s talking about himself, and has little concern with the reality that the world is on fact completely in utter chaos - put another way, If Icke was offered the chance to serve the reptiles 'for the greater good' do you believe he would refuse? I don’t for a second; I think these people would love an ‘evil order’ or libidinal force to serve, as we do when we’re children that will protect us, perhaps just like the Bilderbergers themselves. /me waits for Mhaille to dive in here--Sycamore (Talk) 14:23, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Some of the conspiracy theorist are "in on it" some of them are helping spread Luciferianism/whatever, but don't realise it. Some are not. Check out the "Mystery Babylon" series by Bill Cooper. Bill Cooper was shot by the police, so he's probably rather credible. Avoid Bill Cooper's early stuff though. Well, like I said, I don't think Icke really believes in reptiles, just the reptilian brain (which is real). Ahh... Also... Is this the "MrN9000 is Mhaille conspiracy?" Well, let me tell you about that one... :D MrN 14:36, Jan 25

Just had a thought which might explain what I'm talking about... Take a quick look, don't read it obviously, but look at the pictures on the right. Most of the world follows an Abrahamic religion (basically everyone except the Asians) of some kind or another. If you go back 1400 years there were no Muslims. Go back 2,000 and there were no Christians. Prior to that there were loads of other religious beliefs in the world, but the one which remains in large numbers (excluding the Asians) now is Judaism. So... Anyone who thinks that organised religion has been used in the past (prior to Christ) by evil men to control others is against all Jewish people right? Um? Add that to the fact that many of the most powerful people in the world today claim to be Jews (looking at what they do, I don't think they are) then anyone who has looked into history or current affairs and talks about it wants to kill Mordillo and RabbieTeckno right? Um No. Well, killing Mordillo might be a different matter but anyway... He's watching you know... /me ducks MrN 16:17, Jan 25

I'll check out Bill Cooper, though you don't have to do much to get shot by the police these days;) As far as Judaism, it's one of the oldest religions and by rights since the others such as Islam and Christianity are just sequels, that makes it the original kernel, not the most dominant religion. I think that its just a precurser to more effective paradigm than most religions, suggesting that in some way it reflects ourselves better (unless your a Marxist). Obviously Mordillo/Rabbi will say that it reflects God better, or his cheese sandwich possibly. They do have a violent history - but the old motto of 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' seems to sum them up. As far as the conspiracy theorists go, I do think there is am anti-semitic thread running through them at least for the European ones. I'll dig up some examples/sources. On a personal note I'm up for gassing them if you are, lets not talk about my great grandparents though:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 17:34, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Careful with Bill Cooper's early stuff as I said. He was more into UFO's back then and he later recanted most of that. All the parts of Cooper's ""Mystery Babylon" series are on Google videos I think. It's about 30 parts or something, but only in audio. Like you want to look at Bill Cooper anyway. If you are looking for some other non-European conspiracy theorist who have something to say... Check out Jordan Maxwell or Jim Marrs. I think Cooper's series is probably is the most informative as he avoids most of the more fringe/wacko things and makes less assumptions. Unlike Icke, he did not pretend to be crazy... Oh, he also predicted 9/11 and was killed shortly afterwards. MrN 17:52, Jan 25

So Yea

Thank you for deleting my YTP Template and calling me a plonker. Not only did I have nothing to do with it being spammed and abused by Stevethemario, even Mordillo got on my mastermind scheme and I'm probably being targeted with a permaban sniper rifle as I type. Good job, mate. You'll make a find admin yet.--Garionepsilon 18:04, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Uh, the template hasn't been deleted, just the talk page. I'm pretty sure the "plonker" MrN was referring to was that Steventhemario faggot and not you. You even demanded that he be banned on the now deleted talk page (and he is, thanks to me! Hahairule) of your template. I don't know all of the details yet (Mordillo's involvement), but I'm sure this is just a (slight?) misunderstanding on your behalf..... -- Roman Dog Bird 18:20, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks RDB. Um, What did my deletion reason say Garionepsilon? It was...

“ Created by a plonker ”

It was a talk page I deleted not the template. The talk page of a template you created which was not deleted. Did you create this talk page? No. It was created by a user I banned and I was cleaning up his crap. Now I'm calling you a plonker. You plonker. Check your facts next time. Plonker. Also RDB: You are a mother fucking nigger faggot fucker. MrN 19:28, Jan 25

My facts have now been rectified. Much obliged, Del boy. --Garionepsilon 17:38, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

That one guy that you banned (and that I also banned, but then Codeine gave him ONE MORE CHANCE)

This is freakin' me out, dude. -- Roman Dog Bird 18:15, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

This is going to be sorted today, I'm talking about it with Sannse. ~ 19:04, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

That guy who can't read you mean? He sure reads a lot... MrN 19:29, Jan 25

Aside: IRC! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:59, 25 January 2010

Soma

Dude! Thanks for writing all the above. I don't mind about my ID because I've been in the limelight since age 20. Specially in music and gem industries. And very close to Royal Family here in Siam, and the powers that be and also the powers that want to be (anti-buddhas) are both my clients. So Wikipedia is least of my dangers. Actually I lead a very protected life, and to meet me (without my desire) isn't that easy (as people who visit Bangkok find out).

Man, I have a Sanskrit text, dated a tad over 3000 BC, which describes both the atom (anu) and the sub-atomic particle (paramanu). Whoa!!! Vedic astrologly and astronomy had it right even then. I spent years learning this stuff, including Sanskrit. So you are very right..as Gandhi once said when asked about Western civilization, "It's a good idea!" - not that i recommend you visit India and get driven fucking nuts!

I just made a HUGE change to Soma, which also pushed back the list (now shortened). Please take another look cause I got my head to far up my ass to tell, and I even think it's funny. Jeez!

Just did my first PEE last night on Robert De Niro, but all I did was suggest MY taste in humor, which is obviously NOT going to get him a VFH spot. Ha!--Funnybony 13:17, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

You actually physically have the text? Cool. What does it say? Got a link or anything? It's easy to say "ow, that means that" but I'm interested to know just how close it was... Like people have given a lot of attention to 9 round carvings around "the sun" on a Mayan stone.

---Dude: see http://www.richardshawbrown.com/mysticarticles/vedic-time.html (I have the Devanagari text and did these translations by myself). I think you will find this interesting (although just an incomplete chapter in a work, Srimad Bhagavata Maha Puranam, consisting of exactly 18,000 slokas, and I have the entire work in Devanagari and translated. Sanskrit just never changes.--Funnybony 06:55, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Yea. I will get to Soma... I keep wandering off onto other things though, but it's on my "list". Like I have a list... Oh, don't stop reviewing! What else can you offer but your own opinion? That's what we want ya know. Reading other peoples articles, REALLY studying their style is IMO the best way to improve your own. I'm sure you know that. Also... Nothing wins friends on Uncyc more effectively than reviewing articles... Really. WE WANT YOUR OPINION. :D MrN 17:02, Jan 26

---Well, I got a Pee on Soma, and made 70% of those changes. But came to realize that, perhaps VFH is too conservative for me. I like absurd, and even totally absurd jokes, but VFH do not, they want a replica of a Wiki-article with a few words changed. THEY WANT CONTENT (Content Free??). So I was thinking, that I would prefer to write really funny articles, by my own taste, the kind of articles I read by others and love - that also never get featured, but they are really good. So, just like in my life, my taste caters to the few, not the many. Even my band's music was totally non-mainstream and we were (and still are) rebels in society. And VFH is kinda like square society. But I'm a hipster.

Anyway, please see again Soma, because you, done-did-good to rescue it. HUGE difference in both Soma and G-Rex and The Big Crunch now, after reviews. But not for conservative VFH. Other people like my stuff, but never the conservatives or majority. Like with my jewelry designs, I have 15,000 clients, including VVIPs and Royalty, but that ain't shit in a world of 6 bil. So I would rather NOT be THAT conservative as would pass VFH, but, in stead, cater to others of my own tastes (minority).--Funnybony 06:55, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Hmm. I think you are wrong. About VFH anyway. You know me. ;) I tell it how it is, and here it is... Yea, there is kinda a 'formula' which tends to do well on VFH, but I have seen many, many different styles of article featured. Maybe it's a tad harder to get an article featured if it follows one style rather than another but... If they laugh enough, they will vote for. Here is the really honest bit... The articles you have put up for VFH so far failed (IMO) not because of your style being different or "wrong". They failed (again IMO) simply because they were not good enough. By good enough read funny enough. Hea, I know there is no way I'm going to burst your ego so I'm being totally honest with ya ;-) It's like I said b4... You have written loads of different articles, but you have not really produced one single piece which is really, really brilliant. To make that clear... I don't think it's "your style" which is a "problem" on VFH. You obviously have the talent, I think it's more that you have been spreading your efforts a little too thinly over to many articles. If you wanted to get FAs what you need to do is pick a few of the articles you have and concentrate on them. Maybe that's what you are doing now with Soma... Read back through them again, and again... Read them out loud. What can be removed? Which parts are better than others? Less is more and all that... If it's not adding anything, cut it out. Be ruthless. You know which bits are not so good, so cut em out if you can. Do more research into the subjects you are writing about. Real actual research about the subject is the best way to get ideas for new content and new ideas for humour. It's always possible to find out more about a subject, and it's always possible to enhance the quality of an article. You can't expect all the voters to get all the vague references to jokes which actually are really funny if you really know the subject. Some will, some will not. The trick is to have enough obvious jokes in there to satisfy the punters who understand the article at all different levels. Probably the article I am most proud of writing is The Color Problem. Most people who read that think it's mostly random gibber. Actually there is nothing in there which is random. It's all true and based on something which is funny to me. But because I threw in enough more main stream humour to appeal to the masses I managed to get it through VFH. Check it out. It's probably my best piece. It's my personal statement on racism. There is a deep spiritual message in there amongst all the crappy puns. Honest. Although many of the people who voted for it probably did not even notice that I was trying to talk about. That's fine though cos there were enough one-liners in there to impress those who missed it at the level I was shooting for.

As for writing to your own taste. Hell ya. Do that. Is it possible to write for someone else's taste? I don't think it is really anyway.... There is kinda a quality bar of standard which many of your articles are getting close to, but they just need that little push to make em good enough to pass VFH. Here is something which is a good idea to try... Check out UN:BEST. These are the articles which have already been FAs. Pick say 10 articles from 2009 at random and carefully read them. I bet after doing that you will see what I'm talking about... It's not that your humour is not suitible for VFH. It's just that you ain't produced something yet which is up to scratch. Um... Have you ever actually read HTBFANJS? If you have, or if you have not... Read it again. Right now. Seriously. I know many of the regulars here who have loads of FAs (20+ or whatever) often go back and re-read it again and again. It really is a useful thing for giving you ideas for what can make your articles better. If there is 'a formula' for what makes a FA on Uncyclopedia... It's what is written in HTBFANJS.

Oh, John Peel appeared to like your stuff. If I was a musician I don't think there is a single person on the planet I would have gotten a bigger thrill out of impressing. With the exception of Freddie anyway.. :-) Yea, I'm an ass, and have still not looked at Soma. I will now... But I have been doing a lot of background reading trying to find out a lot about the subject. To be REALLY funny about something you need to know as much as possible about it. I still don't get the connection of why you had the picture of the girl... I noticed that the story about Soma being consumed years ago to make people into Gods appears rather similar to a certain story in the Bible about people consuming "Mana". Also the descriptions of what Soma and Mana are appear to be very similar. Now I wonder why that same story appears to keep cropping up all over the place... ;-) I think that a collaboration between you and me on a new article might be in order at some point. I think that right now (only the last few years or so) the human race is going through the most important spiritual change it has ever gone through. Most people don't see it. Yet. I think you do. The internet is mostly responsible for what is going on I think. The old methods of controlling the masses are not working any more, and people are starting to wake up to what has been going on all these years. Hell, people are able to talk to each other from places like Bangcock to Bristol these days. Now the fact that many people don't even see what is going on... And... The fact that actually many of the people who have been labeled as crazy people when actually there are the most enlightened people on the planet and are actually the only people who really know what is going on is... Funny. Now there is an idea for an article in there I think you will agree. :) MrN 21:08, Jan 27

What MrN9000 said. Personally, I've read a couple of your articles that I thought were almost ready, and needed just a little more editing. But then you moved on to writing something else. I wrote my first featured article here in about 30 minutes--then rewrote, got it Pee Reviewed, and spend about 30 days rewriting it before it was ready for VFH. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:35, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

John Peel

Now there was as close a 6th member of the Misuderstood as ever was, our's being the only band he ever managed. I lived with him both in So Cal, and London = and he called me his brother. He liked us so much that Whoa! Impressive: PEELENIUM: Greatest Songs of the 20th Century: 1966 - I Can Take You To The Sun by The Misunderstood."I Can Take You To the Sun/Who Do You Love" was #6 in "100 Greatest Psychedelic Records", a 2004 book published by UK's Record Collector Magazine. and he is quoted on-air BBC as saying, "This (I Can Take You To The Sun - see Wikipedia as the song has it's own page) is to my mind the best popular record that's ever been recorded." --- He said that! He sent us to UK, and championed our music all his life. We are featured in his "Special Box of favorite records" release. It's impossible to separate the story of The Misunderstood from that of John Peel. WE actually have a 566 pages Novel, "Like, Misunderstood" where Peel is a character, and this book ( @amazon.com) is backing a movie script under development without going into details. But it many very well be a feature film. I'll gladly send you a free eBook copy, which is identical with the hard-bound book, if you're interested. I can send by email. Or give you a link to download from apples iDisk magic cloud.

Dude! Your input, as always is very helpful, and much appreciated. The best suggestion you gave was that I basically need partners. Fact: In The Misunderstood I became a world-class singer and song writer with major-label records to prove it, BUT, not on my own. I had 4 partners (drums, bass, guitar, steel guitar), and without them I was not world class. I have always needed partners, who are strong where I lack, and collaberation, every time. No more 'solo', which is never my thing. For a starter, how about you be my partner on Soma, which was another writers huffed article, and we submit it only after you have corrected it to your full satisfaction. I can get things (songs, articles) started, but without a partner I can never finish them off. Wanna take over on Soma? Change what ever you like. That's a joint-effort we can sink our teeth into, and a very exotic and cool subject. I myself spent 7 years without leaving India even once, during which I lived as a sadhu and studied Sanskrit and the Vedas. That's how I know the real nature of actual soma is entirely meta-physical, and only exists in a realm of life which is subtle, and occupied by the cosmic hierarchy, in a heaven which exists between the material and spiritual energies. There has never been Soma on Earth because it is mental, not material, it has no physical existence. Although the Indian's love to get blitzed on, like, radical Bhang lassis, sold openly, and it would be easy to call that Soma (and some have done), and, like WOW!!! Lets be a team, with you in charge. I was front man of my band, but I was never the leader. And cannot excel by going solo. Would you agree to "take on" Soma with a white card to do whatever to make it suitable for VFH? I hope so, because I always need partner, in everything I do--Funnybony 23:52, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Totally. I meant the other stuff about you spreading you talent over too few articles, and I'm cool with making Soma my main focus for a while. Like I said... I'm researching it. Also... You obviously have not checked your Wikipedia watch list for a while. ;) I already read some of them and reverted some tosser who removed stuff for no good reason. Those guys are so up their own asses it's... Funny. MrN 00:41, Jan 28

So you're friends with Rama IX of Prathet Thai, King of the Baby Boomers? You might want to ask HRH Princess Chulabhorn Walailak about "The Endochronic Properties of Resublimated Thiotimoline." She might get a kick out of that. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:30, January 26, 2010 (UTC):

---Well, for a start, my Son is the first foreigner in Thai history to be a student in the Palace (where HM The King lives) School, with the Crown Prince. Which is even free, if not totally impossible for anyone else, regardless how rich. And lots more, but around here, that's already enough.--Funnybony 06:55, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

I was surprised you'd call it Siam, when it hasn't been named that since shortly after World War II. But for background on the story I mentioned, you may know that HRH has a doctorate and was invited to join the Royal Society of Chemistry in England (no personal knowledge there; I read that online). "The Endochronic Properties of Resublimated Thiotimoline" was written by Isaac Asimov when he was working to get his doctorate in chemistry. He'd been writing Science Fiction, and was concerned that he'd have a hard time writing in the dry style required of doctoral candidates. So he wrote an SF article, complete with graphs and charts and references, as if it were a real scientific article. I'm not a chemist, but know enough chemistry (and SF) to find it hilarious. (And if we're name dropping here, yes, I did correspond with Asimov, as did many people, but sadly never met him in person). See more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thiotimoline. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:53, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

---Although I've met her, yet I'm close to her older sister, the big princess, and her parents. But I know that Princess Chulaborn is a scholar, and, from sounds of it, so are you. Very interesting, what ever it means? But sounds mega-impressive. BTW: Here is a web site I created and master www.generalprem.com you might be surprised, if you know Thailand--Funnybony 23:52, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your crap

Thanks for what you did on Loo. I thought NSFW might not be the right template, but I didn't know if there was one for WARNING:THIS IS GROSS. Is there, by the way? If not, I might make one. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:41, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

You need to stop going through my sewerage system man. Seriously. It's just not right you know... People are starting to ask questions...

To be honest I would advise against such a template. People have tried similar things before and the whole thing would end up being much more of a fuss than any benefit it might bring. Who decides? What if someone does not want that template? What's the point anyway, as the person has probably already seen the images which might offend. NSFW is really more of a joke than anything else. Also, it's a useful tool to help people locate pron on Uncyclopedia... If people are seriously bothered by pictures of shit they are not going to spend much time on Uncyc anyway. Uncyc is not, should not be, and hopefully never will be suitable for those are easily offended. If the picture is funny it's fine. Sometimes people add pictures because it's gross (but with no humour value), and the correct thing to is to remove them. Which is what I was trying to demonstrate to you.... ;) Templates like these almost NEVER actually fix anything ya know... ;) MrN 23:52, Jan 26

Also, ALL of Uncyc is NSFW. Browse at work at your own peril. Or, you know, DO SOME FUCKING WORK. -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:00, 27 Jan

Do some fucking work? You mean like being a prostitute? I don't know--how much would you pay me? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:56, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

All right. I thought about doing it because sometimes I run across an image that does gross me out, or would someone else (feces spread all over a toilet, a mutilated corpse, etc.) I know people can disagree on what's gross just like they can disagree on what's porn. I wanted to make the template, especially as I'd like to avoid a possible edit war with another user--I delete, he/she adds, I delete, ad infinitim--but won't make one now if you think it's a bad idea. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:06, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

i miss this guy

lol --Roman Dog Bird 23:58, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

Yea. Those were the days... Somehow a retard racist is far more entertaining than... Whatever the hell our current retard is. You think he knows that we never read anything he does? I actually sometimes feel sorry for the guy and actually do go back and read some of what he typed... MrN 00:04, Jan 27

Semi-official Imperial Colonization

For once, a short note from me. I'm apparently now running Imperial Colonization. I plan to open it up for nominations for the next colonization on Sunday, 31 January 2010, so will make an official announcement then. In the meantime, I've made some changes, and would love suggestions (see Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization and User:Why do I need to provide this?/Imperial Colonization). Thanks for any help you can give me! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:55, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Gosh, that change to your talk page made you hard to find. I ran into a couple black men wearing Star Fleet uniforms who kept asking me for a date. In any case, thanks for adding the IC link back to the main page! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:09, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Powerpoint Teacher

Yeah thanks for putting that ICU thingy on my article; I will take action. It DOES need improving but I've only just created it so you know... I'l make it less listy and everything but I'm assuming you didn't delete it straight off because it has potential?? In which case I feel honoured. But yeah I'l do something within the next week or so. --thehallway 18:19, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, I definitely think it's a great idea for an article. Ya just need to make it look a bit more like a Wikipedia article, and less like a list of jokes... Have fun. MrN 21:33, Jan 27

Sorry about that

I voted Keep on Vulcan (fakeass planet) after you already said it was Kept. Sorry about that. I had a few windows open and was hopping here and there, and didn't notice you'd Kept it while I was reading it and reading and answering my messages and looking at the Wikipedia article on Vulcan (hypothetical planet), etc. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:23, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

Got a Bot lying around with nothing better to do?

Would you mind firing him up and pointing him in the direction of this, please? --UU - natter 14:38, Jan 28

Sure. Another UnSignpost from yourself? Very nice. I will fire 9001 up... MrN 14:42, Jan 28

UnSignpost 28th January 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

Jan 28th • Issue 73 • A Periodical. Period.

Continuing Absence Of Certain Users Forces Other Users To Do Things By UU It has come to the notice of our fearless journalists that some users have recently been desperately attempting to fill the gaping void left by the absence of some other users. For instance, in the absence of part-time dinosaur and popular keyboard feature SysRq, Why do I need to provide this? has stepped bravely into the Colonization brief (and has not, for instance, been forcefully volunteered for the task by MrN), dedicating himself to bringing colons where there are none (such is our understanding). Also bravely stepping into the "ban magnet" position created by the continuing and lamented absence of hyperactive loon Cajek is, well, a plethora of users. Admins, deprived of their favourite joke-ban target, have taken to joke banning anyone in an attempt to get their fix. Even those devoted to doing only good, just and true works have recently been targeted; and as if to prove this very statement, some power-crazed asshole went and joke banned Socky, RabbiTechno and Optimuschris as soon as he'd written this sentence. Elsewhere, ChiefjusticeDS has been filling the gap left by the absence of someone's enthusiasm for anything pee-related right at the moment by looking after the pee list, taking over as the person with the most in-depth reviews, reviewing everyone else's reviews, and generally not being lazy about it all. At the same time, the continuing absence of the yellow and black sig of Gerrycheevers has forced grumbling British curmudgeon UU to return to the Wiki's only newspaper, the UnSignpost, churning out issues that are, let's be honest, mere placeholders until Gerry gets his arse back here and writes something worth reading. YOU HEAR ME GERRY? GET THE FUCK BACK HERE NOW DAMMIT! Rumours that, in the relative absence of Orian57, Roman Dog Bird will take over the position of "token gay" are unconfirmed at the time of going to press. And finally, in the absence of enough content to make this issue balance out nicely, the UnSignpost is once again resorting to using blatant filler for the first time this year. Shameless, that's what it is. Complain to someone - it's the only way they'll learn.

Check out these pages! This seems to mean something to some people Bonzer Bruce, throw another stereotype on the barbie! Like. Comment. From our logs: 20:30, 26 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.223.27.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (No-one talks that way about my favourite Jew. Learn some manners or GTFO.) 00:48, 26 January 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Why do I need to provide this? (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes ‎ (Sometimes I feel, like I've been TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEDDD to the Whipping Post!!!!) 18:19, 24 January 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.246.27 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Toll. Idiot. Whatever. Banned, UnBanned, Banned, Banned. BYE. Try IRC next time. The guys in there will enjoy it.) Biopic of the Week Users today, they barely know they're born. The problem? Too little exposure to Flammable. The permanent curator of the Principal's office rarely deigns to grace us mortals with his presence these days, but the very sight of his rainbow-strewn sig used to inspire fear, dread, terror and, for some reason, carol singing. "While shepherds fed their flocks thermite..." Old-School Featured Article of the Week This one's for you, Guildy: HowTo:Be pretentious. Don your black polo-neck, cock a snook at the hoi polloi, and sit back, secure in your superiority, thanks to this indispensable guide! Cursory Mention of the Week CheddarBBQ wanted to be mentioned in this week's Signpost. So he is.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  14:55, Jan 28

The Big Crunch

Dude! Here is another doomsday article just adjusted after a helpful pee. Maybe you can make something worthy out-of-it. Could be fun. It's a mind-numbingly absurd concept. Later--Funnybony 12:07, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

ATTENTION COLONIZER

Duty Calls! Imperial Colonization has been commandeered! With a shiny new, waterproof coat, we're heading out to sea once again. We need you for our next colonization. You have one week to nominate or vote from right now, Sunday the 31st of January 2010, to Saturday the 6th of February 2010. (See Protocol for how to nominate an article for Colonization. And remember, if you vote for an article that means you intend to help colonize it.) Then starting Sunday, 7 February 2010, we will start colonizing another savage land (i.e., improving whichever article gets the most votes). Come on board and vote or nom now, to the glory of Her Majesty!

EXTRA: Our most recent colonization, Transformers, has just been Pee Reviewed. If you're interested in making improvements, please check out the article and the review. With a little work, we may have another glorious Feature article! Wouldn't that be just spiffy? And remember, if you participate and this does get featured, you get one half feature credit!

For the Glory of Her Majesty and by Order of your Fearful Fearless Leader, King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:38, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

Hello

You are Admin. right?--Hopelessly Devoted To You... ¡¡¡Silent civilian!!! 21:24, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

Hea! You're a user who has been around a while and has just created a new account right? Did you get banned? Was it for trolling? I like pie? Tell you what... How about doing some editing? MrN 21:31, Jan 30

Well:

• Yep, I was around for a while sometimes
• Nope, I didn't get banned
• Nope, it wasn't for trolling
• Yep I want to ask you that: Do you like the "pie"?
• Ok, create a new article... a colaboration, ok... --Hopelessly Devoted To You... ¡¡¡Silent civilian!!! 21:35, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

I like pie. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:37, 30 Jan

Well, I can't be arsed with a checkuser. But if you don't do something useful very soon I will ban you anyway. I'm an asshole you see. That means, get off the talk pages, and edit the mainspace. Largely cos I think you are a currently banned user. Oh, enjoy your time back at Uncyc. :-) MrN 21:42, Jan 30

Ok, here's the point http://inciclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Usuario:Silent_civilian.

As you can see I wasn't here before. But if that's the welcome to a new account, I don't know if it works. I'm not even from the USA or UK, come on man. Give me time to do my first article... Ciao "asshole".--Hopelessly Devoted To You... ¡¡¡Silent civilian!!! 21:47, January 30, 2010 (UTC)