Pants Bomber
“Pants.”
The Underwear or Pants Bomber is famous for being the worst suicide bomber of all time. Despite being led through security and onto the plane without a passport, no security check and absolutely no one checking what kind of underpants he was wearing the Pants Bomber totally failed to commit suicide, blow up the plane, or cause any significant damage whatsoever. The pants themselves spent 10 days in hospital after receiving mild burns and abrasions to their gussets. The US government responded by Bombing Yemen. The British government responded by relaxing child pornography laws.
Wait, WTF are you talking about? That's not what happened![edit | edit source]
Ok. Well, so anyway... In brief interviews with various non NWO controlled media outlets (and CNN) husband and wife lawyer team Kurt and Lori Haskell stated the following:
| “ | They approached the ticket agent. I could hear the whole conversation. We were within ten feet of them or so and only the Indian man spoke, and he said, 'This man needs to get on the plane. He doesn't have a passport, It was nothing to me, just why are these guys together, until later, and then I kind of thought it was important after what happened. | ” |
Mr Haskel then went on to describe how another man sat pointing at him during the flight with a giant plastic hand while videoing the entire flight with a camcorder.
I has since been assumed that due to Mr and Mrs Haskel both being Lawyers they made the whole thing up because they thought it would be a laugh to slander and libel the government of the entire western world.
OK, bombing Yemen was fair enough, but what was all that about the child pornography laws??[edit | edit source]
Now, thanks to this incident which (as I mentioned) the guy was allowed onto the plane without them even bothering to check if he had a passport the scanners can now count the bumps on your grandmothers areolas. As it is illegal for people to look at naked children in the UK new laws were passed to allow airport staff to spend all day producing and distributing pornographic images of children.
Wait that's not even funny why the hell did I not hear about any of this before?[edit | edit source]
It's possible that you were struck blind, deaf, or dumb. It's much more likely that you live under a rock or do not own a television or radio. This was all over the news when it happened in December. If you've been to an airport recently since this event, it's likely that you were put through even more screening...just when you didn't think it was possible. So the next time you are in the airport in the security line explaining the contents of your underpants to the TSA officer, thank the underpants bomber!