Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
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Recent deaths
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Trump pictured holding up his project in front of his friends. They're all delighted.
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Today sucks because...
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August 25: Spurious Oscar Wilde Quote Day
- 1385 - Pringles are invented.
- 1390 - Birth of Sir Sean Connery, Highlander.
- 1456 - Nostradamus said "a man who loves all other men will one day say "yet each man kiss the thing he loves"". It is thought to be pointing Oscar Wilde till 1985.
- 1475 - Pringles proven to not be so good that when you pop, you can't stop.
- 1476 - Pringles try to take over the world, but failed on due to having lack of military power.
- 1480 - After failing on 1476, Pringles declared itself as a religious leader and started the movement known as Pringlism.
- 1835 - The New York Moon prints an article claiming that life has been discovered on the Sun, thus perpetrating the Great Sun Hoax.
- 1918 - Leonard Bernstein is born a second time.
- 1985 - Elton John completes one of his sentences with "...yet each man kiss the thing he loves". Nostradamus interpreters apologized.
- 1988 - In the single greatest scandal in Oscar Wilde quote history, Bill Cosby fabricates a record 2,994 spurious Oscar Wilde quotes. He comes up short of his goal of 3,000 when it is discovered that he stumbled upon six real ones previously undiscovered by scientists.
- 1992 - 1942 is invented, then thrown out for being to racist.
- 1993 - The "Sour Cream and Onion Pringlians" are killed in Waco Texas during an assault by "Baked Lays".
- 2005 - "Numerous spurious Oscar Wilde quotes appear throughout the Uncyclopedia." ~ Oscar Wilde on Spurious Oscar Wilde Quote Day
- 9876 - School final closes.
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
You have less than a week, just 6 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!
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