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Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
40,113 heart-rending poems in English
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Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
- ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
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Recent deaths
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Today sucks because...
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May 30: Dead Soldiers Day (U.S.)
- 24 AD - Titus Tuccius Perpenna of Gaul is stabbed to death by Parthians somewhere in the Levant desert. His back facing the sand, he watches the morning sky fade to black.
- 1386 - Swiss mercenary Reto Birchmeier trips on a rock and is subsequently skewered by three Hapsburg Pikemen near the village of Hildisrieden. His wife Corinne remarries.
- 1812 - Dobrosław Senk, a Polish Cavalryman in Napoleon's Grande Armée, dies of exposure. He is buried in a mass grave near Vilnius, Lithuania.
- 1864 - Chinese rebel Wei Guanyu, an infantryman in the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom's army, is executed by Qin forces in the province of Guangdong. He is buried with an image of Christ in his clutched hands.
- 1944 - Captain Shishkina Leonidovna of the 588th Night Bomber Regiment is shot down by German Anti-Aircraft guns near the city of Görlitz. She is posthumously awarded Hero of the Soviet Union.
- 2016 - Pvt. Bill Galltrot steps on an old landmine in Kandahar Province. He later dies of septic shock, following complications during a surgery.
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Today's featured artistry
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!
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| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,113 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Em:!:
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