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Today's featured article may overheat your computer if you try to see it Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...) Recently featured: Biffy Clyro Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can wait for your favorite articles to be featured. You're in for a long night!! Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries March 11: Stop Hitting Yourself Day (Mexico) 536 - Pope Agapetus I roasts the first Easter Bunny in what becomes a spring tradition to Christians the world over. 1876 - The Industrial revolution makes its first major breakthrough with the invention of the Steam-Powered Accordian. 1943 - Anne Frank runs out of pencil lead on her mechanical pencil, has to use pen like a barbarian. 1990 - Lithuania declares independence from the Soviet Union, kills thousands of innocent Lenin statues. 2004 - Hundreds of bucking bulls are accidentally released onto the streets of Madrid during that tomato throwing festival, carnage ensues. 2006 - Adobe Potatochop is released and quickly becomes the most popular image-editing software among people with too much time on their hands. 2012 - In accordance with ancient Mayan prophecy, space-time collapses in upon itself. Archived Anniversaries	Word of yesterday, just finished loading sandwich Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons Need advice? Ask Cthulhu! More Current (by the time the page loads they won't be anymore) Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans? (Pictured) ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name? ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out? ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms? ... that Iran is all set to invade itself? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? Do you care... ... that I'm coming to get you? (Pictured) ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis? ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions? ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone? ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know. ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries! ... that I'm better than this person in particular? ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it? Wait More
edit If you leave your computer on, you might succeed in submiting a recent article Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...
Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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