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The Fat Girl is a mandatory accessory for a young gay man who is newly out of the closet, according to Homosexual Occupational Marketing Organization (HOMO). Her primary job is to validate each new man who is seduced into the round the clock cha-cha-heels party lifestyle. The role of The Fat Girl in a newly out gay man's life (known as the Pupate Homosexual, or Bar Trash stage) is to act as his first support network, line of defense and confidant. No Pupate Homosexual can gain a healthy sense of self-worth without having at least one supportive woman in his life; the larger the woman, the more successful the queer outlook on life. (Full article...) Recently featured: Water UnNews:Canada's international reputation wreck found in the Arctic Ocean UnBooks:Darth Maul's Diary Metalheads Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that Malcom X absolutely loved Kentucky Fried Chicken? (Pictured) ...that Ram Ranch really rocks? ...that you actually didn't know? ... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate? ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class? ... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate? ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.

In the news "It's for the children's own good!" Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione" Epstein list predictions Starmer bans pornography nationwide (Pictured) Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!" Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Lawyer is unable to remember what the trial is about, defendant is convicted of burglary Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk) Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie Francis • Alan Bergman • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates On this day... Jülÿ 29: Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüt Däÿ 166 - King Arthur dëcïdës thät chängïng hïs nämë tö "Kïng Ärthür" wïll mäkë hïm söünd härdcörë, thüs märkïng thë fïrst üsë öf thë Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüt. 1776 - Thömäs Jëffërsön, ä nötëd Hëävÿ Mëtäl fän, ädds Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüts tö thë bëgïnnïng tëxt öf thë Dëclärätïön öf Ïndëpëndëncë (Pïctürëd) tö mäkë thë Ü.S. sëëm pöwërfül tö Kïng Gëörgë ÏÏÏ. 1949 - Chäïrmän Mäö Zëdöng ännöüncës thät änÿönë ïn Chïnä whö döës nöt wrïtë thëïr Chïnësë wïth ümläüts övër thëïr chäräctërs wïll bë sübjëct tö rë-ëdücätïön. 1961 - Ü.S. Prësïdënt Jöhñ F. Këññëdÿ ëntërs öffïcë wïth tïldës övër hïs n's. Twö ÿëärs lätër, hë ïs ässässïnätëd bÿ Lëë Härvëÿ Öswäld, whö fäïlëd Spänïsh äs ä chïld. 1985 – Thë Cöcä-Cölä Cömpänÿ ïntrödücës Nëw Côkë, ä värïänt öf Cöcä-Cölä wïth ä cïrcümflëx. Thë nëw drïnk fäïls hörrïblÿ änd thë öld Cöcä-Cölä ïs rëïnstätëd. 1998 – Ü.S. Prësïdënt Bïll Clïntøn üsës ä Scändïnävïän "ø" ïn hïs nämë ïnstëäd öf än ümläüt ïn ä lëttër tö Mönïcä Lëwïnskÿ. Thïs rësülts ïn thë Lëwïnskÿ scändäl, whïch älmöst cäüsës Clïntøn's ïmpëächmënt.

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