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Oh-mi-gawddd, my stupid chemistry professor is making us write this stupid presentation and essay on like, an element? Anyway I chose Berkelium because it sounds like UC Berkeley, GOOOOOOO BERKS! Okay, Hayleigh, write all this down, k? K. Berkelium, symbol Bk, atomic number 97, is one of those squares in that poster on the science classroom wall. It is, like, liter-uhh-ly one of those elements that only exists because scientists were bored and had nothing else to do. (Full article...) Recently featured: Maxipad Berkelium Microwave oven UnBooks:Harry Potter Summarized in Less Than a Minute Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (Pictured) ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost? ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions? ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?

In the news "Nyaaah, it's not worthless, mommy, I WANT IT!" Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland (Pictured) Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Starmer announces plans to make tweeting illegal in the UK Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Bills Mafia drinking themselves to death • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day Recent deaths: Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons Not dead: Eleven Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" • Aaron Rodgers' career • Bills' Super Bowl window On this day... January 27: International Bring Your Exotic Pet To Work Day 1776 - Thomas Jefferson, suffering from writers' block, brings his pet negro Toby to work, who writes the remaining 96% of the Declaration of Independence for him. 1933 - Adolf Hitler vows to destroy all Jews when his pet Jew sleeps with his girlfriend. 1945 - President Harry Truman let his Komodo Dragon press the big red button, authorizing the use of nukes. 1947 - Mahatma Gandhi takes his pet rhinoceros to a rally. Scares the British into leaving India. 1974 - The city of Brisbane gets flooded after Gough Whitlam's pet koala broke the river's banks. 1995 - Osama bin Laden trains his pet Orangutan to use AK47s and RPGs. Becomes mascot for terrorists all over the world. 2010 - Howard Zinn and J.D. Salinger die on the same day. They have a long-winded conversation about literature outside the Pearly Gates, boring and annoying everyone else in line.

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