Babel:Newspeak

Goodhello to Doubleplusuntruecollectfulbooks Collectfulbook of untrue by Unsoc. Pages are changewise. 39,822 in Newspeak pagewise.	Fullwise Newspeak doubleplusuntruepages Pastwise	Oceania Miniluv	Crimethink Techwise

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Newspeak, Oceaniawise speak, oldspeak remade fullwise. Party make newspeak, remake newspeak, remake newspeak. Party use newspeak in Times, recs, papers, etc. Party req members use newspeak, speak newspeak, write newspeak, think newspeak. BB doubleplusreq members use newspeak. Party uncare proles. Proles speak oldspeak, duckspeak to newspeakers. Newspeakfuluse is ex of goodthink. Member use newspeak oft with party and BB.

Newspeakfulaim keep goodthink and undo crimethinks. Newspeak use make plentfuler goodthinkers and unmake plentfuler crimethinkers. Newspeak unspeak crimethink. Crimethinkfulwrds unis newspeak or is malrep. Newspeak is speak pos unplentfulwrds (est. 400 wrds or unplenter)

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Minitrue oldspeak newsreel

Clearly not Deion Sanders vouching for his son

Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
PBS and NPR to lose funding
Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide (Pictured)
Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
- Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church
Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans
New Easter Bunny is a fascist

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run

Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 39,822 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Newspeak!:

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