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Supergirl was born on the planet Krypton under the assumed name Meera Zor'el. After reaching Earth, Meera Zor'el hired a retired porn actress to take on the pseudonym of Meera Zor'el. Through advanced technology stolen from the Guardians, Meera uses internet chat rooms to turn herself into Supergirl. She also changes her hair colour frequently to keep her identify secret.
Powers and Abilities[edit | edit source]
Supergirl has the ability to project massive amounts of sexual frustration on grown men and girls between the age of 16 and 23. This power was first demonstrated in Action Comics #60 when she single handedly caused riots in comic shops across the United States and Australia.
In addition, the ability to generate atomic energy out of her butt through eating criminals, such as Lex Luthor, (and innocent bystanders on a few occasions, when she really, really needed the methane, was starving to death, or needed the huge belly to do fetish porn to earn badly needed funds for the Justice league) has enabled her to keep planets where the nearby star has died warm until her hubby can haul a star by from elsewhere. After eating criminals, they are converted into methane. It is believed she converts all her bodily waste into various gases, except of a few occasion when she eats several thousand tons of "food" in one sitting, after which, she produces a huge crap. Unless she has a stomach virus, Supergirl will frequently poop out "Good People from the villains she eats, however they are slightly les likley to be all that nice or even made ate all if she completely digests them. Good people who are digested often come back as bad tempered, violent, or downright evil. They have a level of amnesia so they forget their unusual "birth," except for lesbians with whom she films having sex with (check out her website, even if Vore doesn't turn you on, her dieting plan REALLY works). If you wish to know how it is possible to form a good person out of methane gas, go look up science, the link is right there, here it is again, science, now go figure it out yourself! In addition to good people, Supergirl has created at least two supervillain teams out of her ingested innocent Bystanders. Luckily the first team was quickly killed when they set up their base on a Nuclear Testing Range, and the second was made up entirely of Patrick Stewart Clones.
When asked about her ingestion of innocents, she stated,
“Of course I feel bad! I'm a freaking superhero, I'm supposed to save people, when someone innocent finds their way into my gut, I could stab myself in the eye with kryptonite! But once the digestion starts I get the best Orgasm you'll ever hear of...Perhaps Nickelodeon didn't need to hear that.”
She also posseses flying and Superhuman strength, but who really cares?
Supergirl Today[edit | edit source]
In between crimefighting Supergirl spends most of her time living under the alias of Meera Syal with her husband who is really Superman - a comedy duo explains the sudden absences and strange pre-occupation with rushing into revolving doors or Telephone Boxes and sudden disappearances, these are all explained as being tricks done with the assistance of David Copperfield (real name Spiderman).
She earns a living as a dominatrix.
Protest[edit | edit source]
In 2005, there was a massive Protest regarding Supergirl. Hundreds world wide believed a massively gassy, man-eating and sex crazed heroine was a terrible choice for a world wide icon and hero to children.
Supergirl at first took it all in good humour, as she had repeatedly admitted to her sex addiction. However, it became evident that the Protesters were serious when she was bombarded with Kryptonite, well actually it was green erasers, but when it's the only thing that can kill you, you tend to cautious about it.
When it was outright stated that Supergirl was a menace like the d readed Spider-Man, arch enemy to the much loved, if a bit violent, Venom, Supergirl took matters into her own hands. She tried numerous ways to regain trust. The main campaign she tried was "The Beauty of the Belly" Campaign, which comprised of attractive pictures of her with a baddy digesting away.
Eventually, when the Government was forced to give them legal permission to use a "Kryptonite Cannon" (so long as it hit "near" her, it was classed as an accident), the entire protest mysteriously vanished. When asked for comment, Supergirl mereley remarked,
“I wouldn't have any 'Urrrrp! idea where they'd have gotten to. Now if you excuse me, I've gotta take a HUGE dump.”
For seven weeks, New Jersey was flooded with shit, but it was New Jersey, so who gives a what it was flooded with?
Important Events[edit | edit source]
- In the landmark Supreme Court case Supergirl v. Nixon, it was established that Super flatulence during a presidential address could be considered as acceptable comment in circumstances in which the President later turned out to be a total hypocrite. The identity of one of of the informants on Watergate was discovered during this incident; Deep Throat was not discovered, but the identity of Deep Nose was later discovered after he died from inhalation of noxious gases.
- There are a variety of UN Resolutions out against her - one instructing her to watch where she is sitting after she accidentally crushed one man to death, another banning her from eating baked beans anywhere on planet Earth after she accidentally vaporised a Pacific Island with a Super Fart (originally thought to be due to an illegal French Atomic Weapons test).
- I'm doing Supergirl right now, and it's true, she reeks! But that's fine and kinky, she's also digesting my wife...she was a bitch.
- At one stage in her career she disguised herself under the pseudonym Busty Dusty. As most supervillians came to realize who she really was she had to abandon this disguise...even though she really enjoyed using the disguise and the name.
- Supergirl once heated the planet while the sun is extinguished (see picture above) and Superman puts a new star in it's place, but overdose it due to a Bean Burrito and creates Global Warming.
- Supergirl and her friend Carley tried to figure out a cool catchphrase for her. They give up after criminals couldn't care less about being eaten after she confronted them saying,
“Mess with the law, you get a farting on!”
- Supergirl tried to release her own fragrance, but apparently smelling like twenty four billion people farted with a force of quadruple their numbers on you, isn't such a popular trend.
Quotes[edit | edit source]
“Villains! You face supermodelesque gassy justice!”
“My butt is nice and round, feel it!”
“I farted. YUM.”
“I like "justice"!”
“Hey creep, stop lookin' at my belly, my boobs are up here! Stop lookin' at my boobs, my eyes are up here!”
“Yummy, yummy, yummy I've got 20 bad guys in my huge tummy, and I think I'm gonna chuck.”
“Yes, I was married to Superman. Why'd we break it off? Let's just say that he's Faster than a Speeding Bullet.”
“Why don't people take me seriously? If I can't fart, eat people then poop them out or show off my vore-belly and boobs to distract evil doers, then how do I protect the world?...Let's ignore my Superstrength and flight for a second, kay?”
See also[edit | edit source]
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