User talk:Puppy/Archive 1

Adoption

Oi! (Scottish for "Yo") Thanx for the comment! You sure as hell can adopt me! :D - Unsigned by ThomasFan666 11:16, 26 June 2009

Funny, they used "Oi" in the TV show "monkey magic" as well. I don't think that was Scottish.

Okay, I think there is a little bit of promise with the premise (haha) of Thomas the Tank engine, but the execution has some major holes. The first one being that "Thomas and Friends" is not a parody, not a satire. It is nonsense, and while nonsense is okay, it has to be consistent nonsense. I would create a user page for Thomas and start re-doing it, piecemeal. Ignore all the work that has been done on the current one (and I'm not about to get into the whole issue of "who did what") and start again from scratch. There are a few directions that I would look at going with this.

1. Make it the story of a real train line. Similar to the expansion of the Railroads in the US or in the UK going back a few years, make this a spork of that kind of story. Play Railroad tycoon or check out this or this or as there is a real life link, this
2. Base it on the real story of Thomas the tank Engine - I mean really, the show is written by a Reverend and voiced by the least popular beatle, then George Carlin and Alec Baldwin in the US, and and is animated by model trains and has had to have changes due to offending the sensibilities of fat people. Or you could even play with this

But more than anything else, read HTBFANJS. Please, for the sake of us all.

And if you want anything else, you know where to find me.Pup

How's that? I'm making a "Behind the scenes" page! Clay men are just like slugs-they have no basis in reality 02:02, 26 June 2009 (UTC) (P.S. The word "Oi" was used by Vyvyan in The Young Ones, and I collect Hornby 00 gauge model train!)

Count to a million

I've got a new template :D {{CTAM}} Mr Zhe-mel-talki-signe-singaporel-bling ^Brute! 08:27, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 2nd, 2009

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July 2nd, 2009 • Issue 54 • The newspaper with the name that's an anagram of "stop using n"

The Young and The Uncyclopedians Cancelled By Gerrycheevers After enjoying a long-running career and several writer changes, Uncyclopedia's fabled soap opera The Young and the Uncyclopedians was cancelled this week. And by "cancelled" we mean totally owned by Thekillerfroggy. It seems TKF finally had enough, and spent nearly an hour systematically deleting the entire series, which previously contained over 60% of all content in the UnScripts namespace. The newly freed electrons, no longer required for TYATU, can now be used for other Uncyclopedia-related tasks, such as boron smelting, and they may even be used to form a sort of crude bot that can edit The count to a million project automatically. Not content with merely obliterating the entire series, Thekillerfroggy apparently became bored halfway through his holy crusade, and decided to get creative in the deletion summaries. As can be seen in a memorial erected by what is presumed to be a jilted fan of the show, TKF nostalgized and ranted, remembered and forgot, loved and lost, all while expressing his inner thoughts through the medium of deletion summaries. An example can be seen at the very end of his effort, where Thekillerfroggy writes: "Sigh./Well here's the home stretch/It's been real/We've had some good times/some bad times/But in the end/All we are is dust in the wind/So goodnight, sweet prince/Farewell TYATU/Fin." Reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users held a candlelight vigil in userspace, where some of the episodes have been resurrected in a zombie-like form. Entertainment editor DogNewspaper (pictured) wagged his tail, perhaps expressing hope that one day a new soap opera, sitcom, or crime investigation show featuring Uncyclopedia editors would once again grace this site. We can only dream... Main Page Suffers Spasms of Dickery By Gerrycheevers If you logged onto the Main Page sometime on July 2nd between 2:00 and 3:00 GMT (and if you can't figure out what time that is where you live, then don't expect us to provide it for you, we're not a bloody watch!), you may have noticed some subtle changes. Instead of the usual Wikipedia-like format, with carefully organized features, news stories, anniversaries, and vital information, you may or may not have found...something else. You may or may not have found an intruiging offer to reffer freinds to take some sort of mp3-player related actions. You may or may not have found some sort of story with a vague theme of respecting one's elders, and everything about those elders, and we do mean everything. You may or may not have found some sort of strange mix of the two that left you with conflicting feelings. These feelings may or may not have included, but not been limited to: fear, anger, jealousy, confusion, fear again, and a vague sensation of falling. The admins responsible for this will not be named here, due to their next probable course of action in the case in which we did mention them, which would most likely be something along the lines of turning every UnSignpost issue into a Euroipod, whatever that is. The only thing we can report on is that the shenanigans ended just over an hour after they began, with the Main Page being restored to its previous false information-rich state. However, this episode shows us that it will never be safe from the hijinks of that group of admins, who, again, will not be named.

Check out these pages! HowTo: Get Banned for a Day Serious, on-topic discussion More voting for things! From our logs: 12:34, 26 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Gotlegginh (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(please enjoy our complimentary fuck the hell off) 21:18, 26 June 2009 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 8 seconds ‎(Non-kosher edits to Woody's meatpage) 08:35, 29 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.78.127.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(I is an 8 year old from the UK with super admin powerz, fuck you) 11:49, 1 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 222.153.106.69 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(I think you'll find it is you who fail. and not even epically either - just with a bit of a whimper.) Biopic of the Week Lovable Wikia dictator Sannse has settled in rather well in the Uncyclopedia Community. She is a double Hall of Shame member, and she recently took home the coveted Uncyclopedian of the Month award for her work in making things behind the scenes to run smoothly, which we take it means that she is very good at regulating the caffeine intake of the hamsters that run on the wheels that power Uncyclopedia. Her typical reaction to watermelon jokes is summed up on the right. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble is an informative guide to consistently winning via questionable means that most enjoyable of letter-arranging games, Scrabble. Fake dictionaries, fake online dictionaries, fake tiles, and octopi are just a few of the diverse methods one can utilize in order to gain a distinctly unfair advantage while playing the game. This Week in Uncyc, 1776 While the American colonies and the British Empire were not quite getting along, the corresponding members of Uncyclopedia were also having a bit of a flamewar. Prominent British users subtly edited the article on America to include a fictional fourteenth colony called West Wankerton, and American admins reacted by banning the drinking of any tea-related beverages in the Uncyclopedia break room. In the end, both sides agreed to a truce due to the massively impressive fireworks show, which was a Fourth of July tradition. The truce basically entailed both entities cooperation in the vandalism of the article on France.

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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 19:32, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Hey

Reviewed your article which which which which which. Mr Zhe-mel-talki-signe-singaporel-bling ^Brute! ~12:53/5 of July

here. But you're too old for NOTM. sorry. Mr Zhe-mel-talki-signe-singaporel-bling ^Brute! ~01:52/6 of July

Nommed you anyway. Mr Zhe-mel-talki-signe-singaporel-bling ^Brute! ~03:24/6 of July

Batista

I approve this titantron to you!

Happy Barista hunting, even though you never said anything about it!—Flutter Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 05:37, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

---

Wait, arn't you too old for NotM? —Flutter Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 05:52, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

DID cont.

The topic moved more from the article to a one-on-one conversation, so I decided to post here instead. I was actually going to suggest taking off the redirect and just putting your version in as Multiple personality disorder, but I don't know if the admins would be cool with that, or how harsh the Delete Brigade would be on it. As for your other questions: Looks like you're on NotM already, so that's covered. I'll try to check some of your edits later and possibly vote. But you're competing with Bioshock right now, so I can't promise anything. As for adopt a noob, I've never done that before, but if you can't find anyone I'm willing to give advice or whatever if you just post on my talk page. Just note that all I can offer advice on is the writing or concept itself, as I don't know shit about code or formatting tricks. Anyway, good luck with NotM. --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 10:03, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

For the moment I'm doing nothing with it. It has promise, but it also has issues. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel differently, but at a later stage I might take off MPD redirect, but not today. Thanks. Pup

ExOps NOOB

hey dude. can you...help me with ExOps? Let me know if you have any ideas for pictures, videos, etc. P.S. how do you upload pictures? I made a playmobil (G scale) model of the ExOps building and I need help uploading it.-Thomasfan666

Isaac the wank (sorry, Tank) engine

I think it is a bloody good idea to make a parody of thomas the tank engine. But I have a few suggestions/facts:

• 1. You aren't making fun of preachers. Rev. W. Awdry made "The railway series". And old woman made "Thomas the tank engine", so no moar trips to the confession booth!
• 2. I suggest changing it to "Isaac the Wank engine". It's much more funnier.

• 3. Have you thought about making it into an actual series? Talk to me about it and I'll get it on Youtube!

• 4. If I help you with this, will you help me With this?

Good luck and have a nice day! -- unsigned by Thomasfan666 03:30, 8 July 2009

Continued on your home page (and without ghostwriting not much more help you could get on ExOps) and the discussion page of Isaac The Tank Engine. BTW, Isa is hebraic way of saying Jesus. Pup 00:12, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Sanity

I suppose a bit of your insanity would be a nice gift.--Bad Shroom 21:46, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

It's a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there.Pup 00:12, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

help

2 things: 1. i want to vote for my best friend on uncyclopedia, but i cant. help? and 2. i got ur message on my account. perhaps we can redo exops! it'll be just like making a Model Railway! you can do the basics, and i could fill in the missing spots! so, is it a Deal Or No Deal? Thomasfan666

I've got about six balls in the air at the moment - which is a reference to juggling a number of different things at once, not what I do in my spare time - so I might be able to create a skeleton for ExOps with a little flesh and you can add meat, but it'll be a few days away. In the meantime I'll teach you an old trick. Cut and paste the whole tabouleh into a Word document. Keep writing and adding to it any old shit that you can - just let your mind go wild, even if the stuff you end up writing is unfunny or stupid - at this stage you're the only one who is going to see it. Then when you get this to about twice the length of what you want, use highlighter tool. Anything that is "golden", highlight in green, anything that is "good, but..." highlight in yellow. Anything that is "bored now", highlight in red. The purpose of this is to get as much red as possible, so be hard on yourself. Then you'll end up with enough good material to create your article, and then you can build from there.

The first thing I would do is re-read the review. You need to have flesh on your characters. Write at least two paragraphs on each of them - what motivates them, why are they there, what do they look like, do they have a funny walk or accent. Make them as real as you can. the depth of your characters will add substantially to your ability to caricature them.

Oh, and remember a vote for me is a vote for prosperity, posterity, prosthetics, prostitution, and prescription drugs! Pup 00:44, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Talkback

{{talkback|SWJS|Pox page}}--SWJS: The All Knowing Destroy All Humans! Nerd(Cortex Scan) 04:05, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

what a big heart

thank you very much for helping my good friend, SWJS, on the pox page! You remind me of me, if i had a big heart...

                            -THOMASFAN666

Vitiligo article

I suggest to write medical nonsense throw a lot of latin looking words that mean instead ingrowing toenails and such like. Also perhaps a play on the work for example The Los Angeles Donald Quack Medical Center would be for example how I would flag up the next paragraphs are probably hokum.... i did like the visual joke on the article btw and so wanted to encourage you to go back to it and add some ideas. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 06:30, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Sign your votes

This is weird - not sure I like it.

Anyway, don't forget to sign your votes on VFD, Puppy! --UU - natter 11:55, Jul 8

I know - forgot to sign about half a dozen things yesterday - you had the joy of fixing half of them and I think I caught the other half... Pup 21:00, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

Changing talk page back

I tried something new but it didn't work as well as I would have liked... Pup 21:00, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 9th July 2009

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July 9th, 2009 • Issue 55• Help! I'm trapped in a newspaper printer!

Survivor returns to Uncyclopedia after almost two years By THEDUDEMAN, with additional reporting by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays In late 2007, a man by the name of Leoispotter had the idea to bring his favorite reality show to Uncyclopedia. Thus, the first season of UnSurvivor was created. After five thrilling rounds of voting, Mr. Briggs Inc. managed to win against the other finalist, Thekillerfroggy, by a mere two votes. Flash forward almost two years. Kingkitty, a competitor in the first UnSurvivor, decides it's time for another go-around, and season 2 is born. In an exclusive interview with Mr. Kitty, he had this to say: "Well, I was bored ("and crazy", says one passing by civilian) and I thought: 'perhaps the community could do something fun, and stop with all this writing bullshit.'" When later asked what he thought about this current season, he said, "It's showing to be bigger and better than last season, with more betrayals, more violence, more whining, and more betrayals. Lots of betrayals. Mostly of me." Currently, UnSurvivor Season 2 is in its final round of voting, where the voted-off members of the game get to vote on the finalist they want to win. The finalists this season are: after last seasons defeat, Thekillerfroggy, and newcomers to the show, THEDUDEMAN and An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. Voting is set to take place over 72 hours instead of the usual 24, and the winner will be announced sometime Friday July 10th. After this, according to Mr. Kitty, there "probably" will be a season 3, and it will be bigger and better than anything ever before. Uncyclopedians pay crass tasteless tribute to Michael Jackson By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Michael Jackson, the legendary King of Pop, touched many lives, and the news of his untimely demise has left a deep void in the lives of his millions of fans and victims. Fans all over Uncyclopedia, stricken by grief, flocked by the dozens to mourn their departed hero in the only way they knew how: through the medium of humour. They ranged from perfunctory to crude to mediocre, but each expressed a deeply profound sadness that the weird plastic rapist was no more. (Yeah, "weird plastic rapist". That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Tributes continue to pour in despite the fact that it is no longer funny or clever. With the stage set for a long, protracted battle over his kids and estate, Uncyclopedia expects that unfunny people will continue to get mileage out of this story for many weeks to come. Uncyclopedia admins plan to send a selection of the best "tributes" to the Jackson family, along with the number of a company that recycles plastics. (That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Editors emerge from woodwork, contribute to UnSignpost By Gerrycheevers This week, when UnSignpost Active Editor Gerrycheevers brought up the Uncyclopedia page containing the currently in-progress UnSignpost, he suffered a minor heart attack upon finding that two stories had already been added to the paper. It seems both An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and THEDUDEMAN, both newly given the title "Consulting Editor", took exception to being named "Consulting Editor" and took it upon themselves to blanket the UnSignpost with awesomeness. Unsignpost Payroll Manager DogNewspaper (pictured) bared his teeth at this development, indicating his frustration at having to re-issue new timecards to both editors. Gerrycheevers is expected to make a full recovery; flowers can be sent to the Uncyclopedia Infirmary and Shooting Range.

Check out these pages! The second round of the Uncyclopedia Music Awards! 4.252.99.182 HAS BEEN FOUND! Uncyclopedians trying to workout From our logs: 23:02, 7 July 2009 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) blocked Spang (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 days ‎(testing, I haven't done this in a while) 09:26, 7 July 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.178.213.53 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) ‎(In fact, here is our complimentary "welcome to uncyclopedia & fuck off" package. Have a nice day.) 00:36, 6 July 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked The Woodburninator (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 191 seconds ‎(You ain't no ban magnet. But I can help you become one. By banning you, that is.) Biopic of the Week Now missing for over 18 months, it's time to send the search party out for ENeGMA. If the userbox on his user page is accurate, then his 250,000+ edits mean that he has created virtually all of the content on Uncyclopedia. While that isn't quite true, he has produced some classically awesome articles, and we wish he'd come back and play. Quote of the Week <TheLedBalloon> well, my parents were like, son, we're going to make meatloaf tonight <TheLedBalloon> and I was like <TheLedBalloon> shit yeah <TheLedBalloon> you know <TheLedBalloon> I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR LOAF <Shaggy-Rogers> EVEN BLOW YOUR LOAD ON YOUR MOM'S FACE =-= Mode #uncyclopedia +o TheLedBalloon by ChanServ =-= Shaggy-Rogers was booted from #uncyclopedia by TheLedBalloon (2 dads) =-= Mode #uncyclopedia -o TheLedBalloon by TheLedBalloon Old-School Featured Article of the Week A Handgun is a non-lethal weapon that has been in use for over 150 years. As adaptable as it is safe, the Handgun can fire many different kinds of bullets, which each require different distinct noises such as "pchoo!". Advantages include an infinite amount of ammunition and the lack of a necessity to reload. Attempts at Handgun regulation have proven pointless at best. This Week in Uncyc, 658 AD With the Dark Ages in full swing, Uncyclopedia tried to lighten the mood with a contest that urged users to photoshop a humorous image involving a priest, a monk, and a nun. Since the most advanced photoshop technology at the time still consisted of using paint to draw on canvas, not a single entry was completed by the two-week deadline. However, prominent Uncyclopedian John Smith continued his work far past the deadline, and after eight months submitted an image of a waterskiing nun, which became Uncyclopedia's first featured image.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  22:37, Jul 9

Afternoon

About this - have a word with Spang, he's the resident whizz at stuff like that, and can probably give you a hand with anything you need. Not sure about leaving the help template directly on the article - that template doesn't get as much attention as it should these days. --UU - natter 14:30, Jul 10

Response and such.

First off, I appreciate and thank you for the help. I know I had a bit of a bitch fit when my articles were deleted, but I've come to terms with it and I now understand why they were deleted. Being a big fan of DAH!, my mind processes made me believe everyone knew about it, and so any humor would make them laugh. I know know that this is not the case. I actually thought about this before you wrote the makeshift review. In my time waiting for it, I thought long and hard, and I decided to create articles about the games themselves. As such, I have already created an article for the first game. But before I allow you to look at it, may I vaguely explain some of the concepts? Basically, for the article, I took what the game was about, which is basically just alien invasion and government conspiracies, and incorperated that, along with other somewhat familiar things, and wrote the article. Really all you need to know is that the main Character sounds like Jack Nicholson, Pox sounds like Zim, and the aliens and conspiracy stuff. I myself do think it is a better attempt at writing myself, though I'm not sure. Which is why I want you to evaluate it. Once I have perfected the articles on the games, THEN I will begin to create articles based on the characters. Here is the article: Destroy All Humans!. Enjoy and once again, thank you. --SWJS: The All Knowing Destroy All Humans! Nerd(Cortex Scan) 04:33, 11 July 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. Also, I think you'll be happy to know there is only one edited picture on the article. One picture is an actual game screenshot, and another the the exploding head. The pictures' captions are related to the article's theme. So they can actually be funny, and we can avoid the horrible photo chopping. The edited picture is the game's box art, also edited to fit the theme of the article. Also, the article is actually up for Pee Review if you want to review it yourself. --SWJS: The All Knowing Destroy All Humans! Nerd(Cortex Scan) 04:45, 11 July 2009 (UTC)

Response on 4Kids

Duh, I think we need a link to show the link between CW4Kids and Rupert Murdoch. And also, Australia. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill | 04:48, 11 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

CHEERS!
 Thanks for voting for this. Cat appreciates it too. Or I think she does, because she's chewing the carpet quite happily.

Hang on a second, that doesn't look like the carpet. No! She wouldn't! Not the cabbages...!!!
Nameable • mumble? • (UnScr:PWotM) 11:08, 11 July 2009 (UTC)

=) Nameable • mumble? • (UnScr:PWotM) 11:55, 11 July 2009 (UTC)

Destroy All Humans! Review.

I've read the review, and I'm definately more pleased with the outcome. I'll patch it up now and get back to you. I was also thinking of adding in one qutoe that is actually from the game that I could milk.

“Brains?! Healthy green glow? Those fools! Clearly they've genetically altered these pathetic gasbags and turned them into RADIOACTIVE EXPLODING ZOMBIE COWS!”

~ Pox on Insert something related to scientific crap on cows and/or hamburglars

Yes, that IS an actual quote from the game.

Judging from your review, having a section with a few quotes and references from the actual game would probably bring hilarity up ten-fold.

Also, yes, I like aping Wikipedia articles, because They're bastards.

I'll keep your review open, use it as a guide, operate on the article, and get back to you. --SWJS: The All Knowing Destroy All Humans! Nerd(Cortex Scan) 02:43, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

Okay, so, after following your review's advice and barely understanding any of the WikiSpeak, I have made several huge modifications/revisions/additions to the article, as well as having generated a new and possibly better infobox. Feel free to check out the article when and if you wish to do so. I hope it pleases you, oh mighty ruler of... whatever you rule. --SWJS: The All Knowing Destroy All Humans! Nerd(Cortex Scan) 05:20, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

The Popularity of War

Think it's about as finished as it'll get. Took your point about the images, hope the replacements are better. the maths formula was a great idea.--Sog1970 10:50, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

Please don't do that again

Deleting other users' comments from talk pages is considered to be not only rude, but bad manners. Please, don't do it again. I'm kind and cuddly, so I only reverted you and since I don't like waging any kind of edit war saved your comment, while someone else might have given you a hard time about it. Learn from the one mistake and let me hope/think it was a one time mistake. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:17, 12 Jul

Honest mistake - was looking at "diff" and must have clicked the wrong one to edit without realising. No intention of deleting a comment and I feel as guilty as sin for it. --Pup 22:24, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

I'd seriously hope so. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:25, 12 Jul

Honestly. I liked the comment so there's no reason for me to have wanted to delete it. Tell you what - to make it up to you I'll give you free reign to tell everyone that I am a goy with a shikseh wife and I'm full of drek that spritzes out every time I open my schmegeggy mouth. Forgive me for my spelling by the way - I know how to say a few words but not how to spell them. --Pup 22:35, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

Just say you won't do it again. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:46, 12 Jul

Done the second, and I won't do the first again. (Well, I won't delete anybody else's comments again. In regards to doing something stupid - likely to do that before I finish typing clitoris sentence.) Pup 22:55, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

Stupid is relative. We all do stupid things. Some just can't afford as much stupid as others, thanks to being bosses responsible for other people's actions, too... Like I am. *cringes* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:28, 14 Jul

Keebler Elves

I polished it a wee bit per the pee advice. I think it has potential but don't want to self nom, tell me what you think of it now, please? ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 14:13, 13 July 2009 (UTC)

Is working furiously ...

...on something that is actually fairly minor but is hugely detailed. I will have something a little more funky for you soon... Pup 02:25, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

UnDead Thankings

Zombie apocalypse Thank you card

Doug would like to thank you! For Helping him and little Emily get through the inconvenient zombie apocalypse!

   Orian57    Talk   15:05 14 July 2009

Awesome header! Have a cookie!

The header you put on the DAH! page was AWESOME! Did you make it yourself?!

And, have a cookie!

SWJS has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

--SWJS: The All Knowing Destroy All Humans! Nerd(Cortex Scan) 23:26, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

Thankies... and made it myself as I have been playing a little with animated gifs recently. The font is supposedly based upon the font in the game, but I couldn't find a good "side-on" image of the saucer from DAH, so I stole one from elsewhere and made a few minor amendments to it. and stole a few pictures of fire to make the spreading flames bit. If you want me to adjust it then let me know, but as there's a fair amount of detail in it don't be offended if I say no. Pup 23:40, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

Actually I love it... but not like THAT. <_< Actually, I probably know the guy you got the font from. And, when I make the articles for the sequels, matching titles would pwn. Actually, have ANOTHER cooke.

SWJS has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

--SWJS: The All Knowing Destroy All Humans! Nerd(Cortex Scan) 01:35, 15 July 2009 (UTC)

Hey

Cookie for reviewing me article. Thanks, I'll waork on it as soon as I finish my schoolwork D: Mr Zhe-mel-talki-signe-singaporel-bling ^Brute! It's 16 July-07:40 ...with savings!

Ooh, and a cookie for you.

Zheliel has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

. I would have given an apple but I forgot the template. Mr Zhe-mel-talki-signe-singaporel-bling ^Brute! It's 16 July-07:43 ...with savings!

EVIL!

Stop making me think that there is hope for me to return!!! GRRRR.... You at least deserve this:

Rejoice, Puppy! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

And this:

Acrolo has bought you a beer for stroking his ego!! Kudos! Drink up, you are gonna need the piss .

Thanks for the dog piss, and youre allowed to pee in the house ok?

Sir ACROLO KUN • FPW • AOTM • FA •(SPAM) 08:31, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 16nd, 2009

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The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!

July 16th, 2009 • Issue 56 • This is a Pathetic Joke

User Return Causes Widespread Panic By Gerrycheevers This week noted user An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays returned to the wiki, and immediately rendered that return "triumphant". However, other users are beginning to feel the effects of the presence of this primate whose quantum mechanical properties dictate that he be only during certain periods of the week. This incident left onlookers shocked, and worrying if something similar could happen to them. Not since the return of a scantily-clad Olipro has this website seen such a display of sheer terror mixed with complete confusion (and in the case of Olipro, a bit of curious arousal mixed in). The aforementioned incident involved one user who had AATOEOT embedded in his dreams. Most curiously, this episode seems to have happened on a Friday night, a time period when an An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays should decidedly not exist. Nearly a week has passed without further disruptions, although that may be partially due to Ape's ban after being kicked off of the Uncyclopedia island during a rousing game of Uncyclopedia Survivor. Regardless of the reasons behind the strange occurrences, users should be sure to keep an eye out for strange occurrences on and off the wiki...particularly on Thursdays. Flood of Crap Nearly Overflows VFD By Gerrycheevers For the last few days, an explosion of nominations has inundated Uncyclopedia's waste removal system, Votes for Deletion. After a period of low activity, where there would typically be just a few to several nominations, things picked up last week. In the last few days, the situation has accelerated into what is being called by experts a "shit-ton" of undesirable content festering in the dark, unvisited corners of the wiki. Said undesirable content is currently being read, discussed, and dealt with accordingly, as is the usual procedure at the highly efficient VFD. Circumstances have escalated to the point of rattling a few relaxed admins. One such incident involved a user getting the customary one-day ban for increasing the active nomination count past twenty, when the user in question had, in fact, only increased the number of active noms to twenty. Owing to the normal tendency of the article count of VFD to stay in the low single digits lately, the lapse is certainly forgiveable, and was quickly corrected. Afterwards the two parties exchanged pleasantries and shared a S'Mores which was roasted over the open bonfire of newly deleted articles. Former poopsmith MrN9000 commented on the situation, saying, "Well you know I fancy the standards at VFD have improved significantly in recent times. Not so long ago it would often just be a quick "Short and Shit" vote from UU, and the latest stub was on for a huffing. These days we are spending more time voting on closer votes and are deleting much better articles than we used to! Something VFD is really proud of." In a final display of VFD patriotism, MrN added, "CHECK THE PAGE HISTORY BEFORE NOMINATING YOU BUGGERS!" Orian57 On Fire By Gerrycheevers Noted rainbow-colored user Orian57 has recently enjoyed a remarkable string of success (pictured on right). He has scored an unprecedented natural hat trick of features, with UnBooks:Daddy, There's a Zombie in the Garden, LazyTown, and UnScripts:Trapped at Sea reaching the front page on consecutive days. Not since the time of such legends as Savethemooses and The Thinker have such lofty VFH records been broken. Although in the case of STM, there were probably mitigating factors involved, like wooden articles rather than aluminum, or something. Or aluminium, that strange substance only found in England by mining thousands of millions of other strange occurences, such as referring to the trunk of a car as a "boot". This god-like spasm of awesomeness is fresh on the heels of Orian's Writer of the Month win in June of this year. Since the beginning of that month, he has seen six of his works grace the front page, and he shows no signs of slowing down. When reached for comment, he explained, "Well I suppose it's down to being fantastic. And unemployed. But mostly being fantastic." The UnSignpost would like to congratulate Orian on his recent spat of win, and express hopes he will continue the pattern well into the future.

Check out these pages! Some guy is trying to update Images... Hey look, a new game to play! Or is this business? UnBusiness!? Proof that Wikia hates us! From our logs: 09:27, 9 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a bouncer from Flintoff ‎(pre-emptive ban before you ban me for pickiness. your English > my Hebrew etc etc...) 20:38, 14 July 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Luvvy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎(Impersonating a girl. Perv.) 14:03, 16 July 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.186.81.136 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(you know Euthanasia might just be the thing you are looking for....) Biopic of the Week Known as the man of many signatures (most of them garish and spinning in some fashion), Mahm00shA has made quite the impression on Uncyclopedia since joining in February. His transcription of an interview with a cab driver in his native Egypt has earned him recognition as a writer, and his other useful qualities have earned him an Uncyclopedian of the Month nomination. Go 'moosh! Quote of the week [16:41] <Tayor> we're going to need a base to work from. [16:43] <Tayor> by 'we' I meann 'I' [16:43] <Tayor> and by 'are' I mean 'am' [16:43] <Tayor> and by 'work' I mean 'give blow jobs' In honour of The Ashes, it's: UU's classic cricket commentary of the week! "There's Tony Greig standing at second slip — legs wide apart, bending over, waiting for a tickle" - Brian Johnston. Of course, this simple piece of commentary should require no clarification, but any Americans, other foreigners, or chavs who don't understand the finer points of cricket can pop over to UU's talk page for a patronising explanation. Old-School Featured Article of the Week Martin Van Buren was the eighth President of the United States, a key figure in U.S. political development during the nineteenth century, and a total dick. While other legislators were busy dueling or being awesome in general, Van Buren spent his time practicing his douchebag skills and smelling of old people. He always argues about the stupidest things, and he refuses to ever admit he's wrong. And I'm never letting him borrow my car again. Panicky Last-Minute Box of the Week The UnSignpost editors regret to announce the introduction of a new device, the "Panicky Last-Minute Box of the Week". This box will be used to take up space on the right-hand side of the UnSignpost, an example of which you are currently experiencing. Look for this box to appear when a larger than usual number of stories on the left side of the UnSignpost and an impending end of the work day force the editors to make something up on the fly. This also offers opportunities to sneak trusted mascot DogNewspaper into the issue.

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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:22, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Perhaps it wasn't clear enough

That you don't edit other user pages. For any reason. ~ 12:08, 18 July 2009 (UTC)

Got it the second time - it's late night here and I'm not completely sober, sorry. But out of curiosity, where is the written policy on that? Not that I don't agree or anything, but I have seen it being done before and I'd like to know what the policies are before I stuff something else up. Pup t 12:13, 18/07/2009

There's no written policy as such, but it's an accepted norm that a user page is a user's own home, to an extent. If you're good friends with the guy and he allows you to mess around with his page, that's a different thing. But to edit a random userpage just because you don't like a redlin? A big no-no. I hope you're at least getting drunk on something quality. ~ 12:21, 18 July 2009 (UTC)

Gold tequila, but I'm running low and might have to fall back on the silver. Just hope I have enough of a buzz to get me past the quality difference. Sigh! Pup t 12:28, 18/07/2009

Cuervo Gold? You're going to have one hangover tomorrow...~ 13:32, 18 July 2009 (UTC)

Only get hangovers when I mix more than 2 spirits, or drink in excess of 1 litre of spirits. This I have discovered through many joyous experiments, and a few not so joyous. Oh, and any liquor made from peaches or mangoes. Pup t 13:35, 18/07/2009

Isaac the Tank Engine

Reviewed it for ya. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:03, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

Award!

Pedobear approves this user as being totally awesome and not pedophiliac in any way. Really! We wouldn't lie to you about that, no....

It's so cute I just want to pick it up and... Oh sweet Mary mother of Isaac... My eyes, my eyes! Pup t 23:29, 19/07/2009

I told you! But anyway, I gave you it to congratulate you on growing up so fast in this wiki. I certainly can't do it. Why, I remember when I voted you Noob of the Month....-Almost Sir Random Crap

I know. It feels like less than a month ago. Doesn't time fly! Pup t 01:32, 20/07/2009

Isaac

It's sort of hard to say whether or not you should do all 14, though I'm leaning towards yes at the moment. If you're going to do a joke, you might as well do it all the way. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:29, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Princess Di

Thanks for the review - your comments are really helpful. I did try and base as much in reality as possible (like the haystack, ballet and School bit) but it does appear like it's random so I'll try and do something about it. The quotes (which I inherited from the old page) will all go, I was quite dubious about them from the start.

I was actually aiming the piece at Australian atheists - there's so little out there for them nowadays. Calindreams 11:47, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Australian Atheists who read Uncyclopedia. It's good to know that I fit into your target audience. Pup t 11:58, 20/07/2009

D&D:IRL

That was without a doubt the single most useful Pee review I've ever received. All your advice was helpful, as were all of your suggestions. Needless to say, I think you're entitled to this:

Rejoice, Puppy! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

Two things, though: I actually started these articles as one really big, massive article--I broke them up upon the suggestions of others. Plus, having the separate "chapters" as their own sub-page gives it more of a "handbook" feel, I think. Secondly, I like the template idea, and considered it myself very briefly, but the articles are big enough as it is, and templates would result in a lot more code, not to mention possibly mess up the formatting (which is bound to happen because I'm extremely bad at using wikicode).

I will, however, take to heart everything else you said/suggested, and revise the article shortly as per your advice.

On a final note, I'd like to say that it's incredibly nice to get a review from A) someone who knows what they're doing, and B) someone familiar with D&D.

Thank you.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:07, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Oh, Also...

...would you like to join my Fantasy Football league!? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:16, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Di again

Actually meatnt to say - good god what a long review, thanks more than the last thanks! Trying to work slowly through some of your points. Swapped the images around a bit, but will try and use that first image you suggested once I've thought of a caption (it actually looks like she's holding a knife).

I'm not very familiar with how you add new images - will learn, but any help would be appreciated. Most of all your comments about it not having an encyclopediac tone was most helpful. I did actually use wikipedia, which helped me come up with the School, ballet and gay bit. But your right, it does look like random humour because of the tone. I will also integrate the goddess theme and expand the Mother teresa joke a little more, just because I thought it was funny that her death was totally eclipsed by Di Dying. Calindreams 08:33, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

About your nom

Congratulations on your Nom for RotM, it is more deserving than my own methinks considering I had reviewed 9 at the time. I hope to be back, willing and able to review some of your articles very soon. Also a quick note about your vote for RotM. You may remember adding a comment under mine the other day and it has come to my sad and very bored attention that my score has increased by one since you did. However your vote is currently occupied under Boomer's nom. Maybe I just can't add up to 9 or maybe there is something amiss. If there is just knock my count down by one and if not I blame rogue vandalism for the latter part of this message.

Congrats again on being nommed and for doing so many reviews. It just doesn't feel right until someone makes me look bad! --ChiefjusticeDS 19:37, 21 July 2009 (UTC)

Bugger, I have double dipped my vote. But I want you both to win. Argh! Dilemma! Pup t 20:29, 21/07/2009

Monmouth

Thanks for your feedback on the article. I've only had the chance to have a quick read through the review since people of my age have short concentration. Let me get back to you after I take some drugs and do my homework. Chuckles out.--Baina 13:14, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Is all cool. Don't worry about the concentration thing, I also... Oooh, look, a Butterfly! Pup t 22:35, 22/07/2009

Laura and Amanda Palmer

Yes, it's too difficult. I was never really into Twin Peaks. The important thing is keeping up the confusion between Laura and Amanda. 91.85.175.148 11:07, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Consider it done... Pup t 11:12, 23/07/2009

Okay, it wasn't done before, but it is now Pup t 05:14, 24/07/2009

A Thank You

Clint945 Thanks you for reviewing his article.

Review

Your review was fucking fantastic, as always. I'd give you another Golden Shower award, but I just gave you one a few days ago. Since, PCASF is on VFH at the moment, I don't want to change anything in the middle of the nomination. However, when it leaves the queue--whether it fails or not--I'll implement the majority of your advice. Thanks. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:50, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

That last award was three and a half days ago - I barely remember ten seconds ago! But still, it's my pleasure, and I honestly hope that it gets through. The changes that we're talking about are more semantic than anything else, so I can't see the amendment during VFH being an issue, but I've been slapped on the wrist a few times by admins, so I won't advise you to change it now. Pup t 04:06, 24/07/2009

If you get really bored

I'm not really looking for a PEE (though you do them beautifully) but since you seem to be of the foreign persuasion (to me anyway, as I'm Anglo-Welsh Canadian) does What I did on my hols. make any sense to anyone not from Blighty? I kept the Cymraeg to a minimum, I think.--Sog1970 17:10, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

I'll look at it when I can, but my lovely bride is asking me to get away from the computer, and I always do what the pretty lady asks. Pup t 23:46, 24/07/2009

Thanks. I'm glad the Welsh-isms weren't too distracting or the British Geography. Woe betide me is a phrase that British primary school teachers use all the time - or did in the 1970s anyway. I'll try and check the spellings thing but that's not really my strong-point--Sog1970 10:18, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

The newewst DAH! article review is in.

The verdict? It's not pretty. Have a look at the review and check out the damage. Honestly I have no idea in hell how to make the tone more consistant and how to make the Obama joke consistant. You Uncyclopedia chaps are unpleasable, like naggy housewives, only you don't throw things or scream. Let me know what you think, that is if you care. I'm going to go lie on my bed and heave a long tired fed-up sigh while I come to terms with having to further operate on my supposedly "unhealthy" article. Yes, that metaphor is very long. >_> --SWJS: The All Knowing Destroy All Humans! Nerd(Cortex Scan) 19:42, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

Unpleasable (is that a word?) and naggy (again)... well I think the girlfriend would agree with you on that one. I am, however, frequently pleased especially on PEE review considering my score average is 36, it's just I wasn't with your article, don't be too worried about it, just because I didn't enjoy it and because I think you are approaching it the wrong way doesn't mean that you are. Would you rather I had lied and given you 10 for everything and let you get slaughtered on VFH where the truly evil uncyclopedians lurk? No,if POTR likes it then fair enough, I didn't thus the review. --ChiefjusticeDS 19:53, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

Well, I do suppose you've saved me from the slaughterhouse by being honest. I just detest having my writing skills butchered. I was top of the line in my english class back in high school. Honestly I can't find the bloody spellcheck button on firefox or Uncyclopedia. Plus i think the critics are all a little too biased. But meh, I'm complaining because I'm bored and I just woke up. I'll get over myself now. Cheers. --SWJS: The All Knowing Destroy All Humans! Nerd(Cortex Scan) 20:01, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

I'm in the middle of defending a review I did on somebody else's work at the same time. The important thing about a review is ignore the score. It means sweet bugger all. The important thing is "What has the reviewer given me that I can use to improve my work?" To be honest I'd prefer if CJDS had scored me lower as one of the pieces that I put up there I'd have given a lower score to - I just needed a second opinion as to where I should take it.

Oh, and in case you were wondering CJDS, I hadn't fully proofread the two articles you questioned me on, as I do that only once I'm happy with the humour, concept and layout. If they're sitting in PEEreview, that usually means I'm not happy and want to change them, but I don't know where to go. Once I have them at a point where I think that they are VFH worthy, then I'll proofread and fix up the errors. Pup t 23:03, 24/07/2009

UnSignpost: July 23rd, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!

July 23rd, 2009 • Issue 57 • The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...

Uncyclopedia Users Form Fantasy Football League By Gerrycheevers This week, several Uncyclopedians banded together under the leadership of one Guildensternenstein to form some sort of "Fantasy Football" organization. What exactly this entails is unclear, but it appears that the football- and soccer-related fantasies of the participating members will be carried out in the semi-private confines of the forums. Reactions were mixed to this development, with some users expressing emotions ranging from apathy to indifference. Others voiced concern about children, decency, and lewd public conduct. "My little boy came home today saying something about going to another boy's house to perform football fantasies!" said one outraged and confused mother. Regardless of the small amount of negative feedback, participants are eager to begin fantasizing about their favorite football players, such as David Beckham. Bradaphraser had this to say: "The Fantasy Football League is a chance for Uncyclopedians to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday Uncyclopedia work and actually have some fun for a change. While I usually am busy with the administrating task of sitting on my lazy ass and doing nothing, this gives users a chance to see me in a more relaxed state." "I fully expect that this venture will be just as successful as my recent run for the Presidency," continued Brad, "which I lost to Bradford Lyttle of the Pacifist party by a mere 110 votes. I fully expect to win one or possibly even two games in this upcoming season, assuming of course that a draft is eventually held." Said draft is scheduled to begin immediately, and assuming only a small portion of footballers flee to Canada to evade this draft, the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League will be ready to hold its first game by opening day. Village Dump Suffers From Rash of Inactivity By Gerrycheevers In a startling development, activity on Uncyclopedia's main gathering place, the Village Dump, has all but ceased. With The UnIdiot registering the sole comment in the last three full days, the normal flow of important, relevant conversation in the Forums appears to have dried up. While an excess of users can usually be found loitering aimlessly in the halls of the Dump, it appeared all but deserted as of press time. Several theories have been raised, ranging from the intriguingly possible (July weather causes Uncyclopedians to go outside) to the exceedingly headache-inducing (Uncyclopedians are being abducted by giant space cabbages). However, one of the more interesting theories comes from our lead scientist and nature correspondant, DogNewspaper (unavailable for picture). He claims that while the Village Dump itself along with associated forums such as the Ministry of Love and the Help forum has seen a decline in activity, the so-called Benson's House of Pancakes has seen a shocking upswing in activity. In the same time frame that only a single edit was made in the Village Dump, sixteen different topics were edited in Benson's Breakfast Domicile. DogNewspaper, that earlier mentioned nature correspondant, calls this a migration. "Woof," he claimed, elaborating that many users were unable to adapt to conditions found in the normal Village Dump, and were forced to relocate to the more hospitable Benson-related location. It is here, in the BHOP, that users are free to create topics concerning their own birthdays, the anniversaries of their birth, and memorials commemorating the day they were born. Whether the mass exodus is complete or not has yet to be seen.

Check out these pages! US vs UK, the showdown... almost Picture Wars: Forum Edition Still counting to a million From our logs: 03:45, 23 July 2009 Under user blocked Mi$ter Bigg (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (insert Cosby catchphrase here. or not - I don't really give two fucks) 00:48, 20 July 2009 TheLedBalloon blocked 71.195.100.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (In the words of Abraham Lincoln, suck my presidential cock, bitch!) 06:30, 18 July 2009 Mordillo blocked Speroxenos (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (your hard on does not impress me) Biopic of the Week Arguably the most prominent sub-primate whose existance status varies depending on the day of the week on the entire wiki, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays has recently made a return to Uncyclopedia. His track record speaks for itself: awesome articles abound in Ape's presence, his handling of breaking news situations is praiseworthy, and his information guides are useful and informative. Welcome back, Ape! Old School Featured Article of the Week Toilet Door Communication, or TDC, is considered by many to be the forerunner of the modern internet. This fascinating form of conversation is complete with its own exceedingly dense jargon and wide spectrum of users. Washing your hands after use is strongly recommended. Quote of the Week <Bonner> A while later we also completely wrapped the scooter in cling film <Bonner> I still have the photos, he was really pissed about that one <e|m|c> You mean saran wrap. <e|m|c> Fucking English. <Bonner> Cling flim <e|m|c> Uhh. Saran wrap. <Bonner> cling film <Bonner> :) <e|m|c> Cling film <Bonner> Saran wrap <e|m|c> Correct. This Week in Uncyc, 1901 Uncyclopedia users celebrated their first of many week-long tributes to Oscar Wilde, unable to wait the originally planned year after his death. The entire main page was dedicated to Wilde-related issues, and the first instance of mass Wilde quoting ensued. Reader Poll of the Week The editors need your help; please weigh in here on the important, non-boring issue of UnSignpost formatting.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

This edition is on time, and anyone who tells you differently is lying! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 02:55, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

RE: What the...

I assume that you are referring to my post: "All of your works are pathetic pieces of shit and you deserve to be hanged, drawn and quartered for conceiving them." on the VFH talk page for the Abe Vigoda piece. This was made in light-hearted good faith to An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and was not directed towards the article itself or Modus. To the second bit about my criticism of You, which is the product of the recently failed IC project, it is legitimate; the talk page of that page would have been the appropriate place to ask me to elaborate, not my own talk page which is reserved for fans and groupies only. I expressed my whole opinion (which I do not need to justify to you, and will not justify to you since you did not ask me for justification) with a rip off Chappelle's show (you know, that episode with Rick James). As for your question, I do note your cunning attempt to insult me under the feign of asking for my minding a decision to "not miss my contributions" (for the record, I am no longer buggering off; the funeral is being postponed). I also notice your use of public embarrassment in an attempt to further insult me based on your inclusion of a plural pronoun (despite the fact that you are only speaking for yourself). Your asshattery is noted, but I'm not going to reciprocate. I'd recommend that you read Uncyclopedia:Disagreements before you address my talk page again. --EMC ^[TALK] 03:58, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

Well, I was thinking about taking a bit from the old version that I liked (I understand a lot of crap was put on it over time which probably necessitated the IC efforts) and some of the new content and maybe creating a hybrid. Uncyclopedia has, in my opinion, too many narrative articles. Something that at least resembles an encyclopedic entry, like the old version, is what I might like to see. I'm definitely down for a collaboration or something of the sort. I might start working on it in one of my sandboxes, or we could use a page in your namespace if you like. Doesn't matter to me. --EMC ^[TALK] 19:57, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

Damn! My thoughts were actually on a very different line, as I wanted to continue with the narrative style. But you've made me consider it a fair bit more. At the moment we have several frames here, and Uncyclopedia really isn't the frame that suits narrative style. In fact going a bit further a few of the articles I've done are actually straying more into the narrative style than encyclopaedic. I have done an UnScript and the idea that I had would suit that more, but the more I think about it the more I realise that I'm building it all around a single pun.

While we're on the topic of frames though, I have done a couple of pieces that I have placed under "UnNews" that don't really suit that frame. UnNews:McDonalds Should Be Boycotted and UnNews:An Open Letter from "Protect the Overtly Offensive Foundation" and this has made me consider something. At the moment we Uncyc, UnDic, UnNews, UnPeotica, UnScripts and UnTweets. What I have parodied in both of these has been blogs. I'm hesitant to talk about an "UnBlog", as I could see that twisting into a blog too quickly, but I was thinking along the lines of "UnEssays", "UnOpinion", or "UnEditorial."

In regards to "You" though, I'm putting my concept on the back-burner for the moment and I'll come back to it when it has grown up a little more. I would rather not write another half-hearted piece if I can avoid it. However I'm happy to give feedback along the way to whatever you have in mind. Pup t 01:36, 26/07/2009

I know I'm interrupting on the conversation you two are having but those two UnNews could fall underUnColumns, right? Seems like it to me. So far we only have 5 of those (4 by Modusoperandi, 1 by me). More would definitely be welcomed, I think. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 13:13, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Interrupt away. This is the issue with being a n00b - there are so many layers and so many things that I want to get to know with Uncyclopedia and the only way I find things is by stumbling on them. Or in this case, whining about the lack of something that is already there. POOF is on VFH at the moment, so I'll leave that there, but McDonalds can be moved happily. I'm in the middle of timeline thingy at the moment, so I probably won't be able to get onto that for the next day or so. If you could move it on my behalf that would be much appreciated. Oh, and Vote for POOF - I'm allowed to whore my own talk page, aren't I? Pup t 13:37, 29/07/2009

Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildy

---

"Yoda"

Was not done Weird Al. Granted it's one of the few parodies wrongly atributed to him that fit his style, but it wasn't him. I dunno who it was but it wasn't Al. just saying.    Orian57    Talk   12:47 28 July 2009

I used to have the original cassette single Pup t 21:18, 28/07/2009

Wuld you like to be friedns?

As my new friedn you are obligigated to get me a present and leave me on the special brithday page. Thank yous! 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 00:41,30July,2009

The Doctor

My gosh, how could I have not given you this yet?!

Rejoice, Puppy! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

Indeed. Your review probably redeemed that article from the depths of the nine circles of Inferno. Thank you. Sir MacMania GUN— 21:21, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

/ME THROWS SHIT ALL OVER YOUR LAWNS!/

oohack ack ack!    Orian57    Talk   04:55 31 July 2009

Oh that's lovely. Darling, have a look at this. Here we were suffering water restrictions and drought and someone has come along and fertilised for us. Pup t 04:57, 31/07/2009

Me burns down your villiage.    Orian57    Talk   05:07 31 July 2009

Time to getm out the camping gear dearest. And the marshmallows. We can all have a sing-along. Kum by Yah, milord Pup t 05:11, 31/07/2009

/Me burns down your camp fire/

/Wonders how you burn down a fire/ It's getting a little chilly tonight sweetness. Maybe we should share a sleeping bag and make heat the old fashioned way! Pup t 05:15, 31/07/2009

Me burns down your wife. The old fasioned way!    Orian57    Talk   05:42 31 July 2009

Oh dear darling. You seem to have gotten a little too much sun. Pup t 05:49, 31/07/2009

Isaac

I gave it a quick once-over, and I like what you've done with it. In short, it's an improvement. I'll look at it more in the next few days and give you some more in-depth feedback when I get the chance, though. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:02, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Thx for the review

Thanks very much for the review. I've posted my comments on your comments.

Award!

Golden Urinal

You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work.
Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing – there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!

---

You've earned it, well done! Now don't stop pissing! --UU - natter 10:30, Aug 2

Except - if you read my talk page you'd know this - he's found a job. And so can't be as focused on here anymore... (which is a euphamism for "thanks it's been fun")    Orian57    Talk   10:32 2 August 2009

Yeah. He's pissed all over us and fucked off. I wish I knew who he really was so I could hunt him down and smack him upside the head.

1990

Ouh! I've gone ahead and reviewed 1990 for you. Nice job on escaping the freedom of unemployment by the way. I hope to be following in your foot steps soon. Sequence 12:51, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 30th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!

July 30th, 2009• Issue 58• Now Delivered Trendily Late!

Uncyclopedia Users Alter Time Itself By The Woodburninator This week: an update. As previously reported in an earlier news story, one month ago several well-known contributors went on a campaign to try and delete time itself. It is said they were trying to bring about an end to unfunniness throughout history, with the slight side effect of non-existence. But just as it looked as if their plan would come to fruition, cooler heads prevailed and stopped everything in its tracks. Since then, the plan has changed. Instead of deleting all that ever was, the users have decided it would be much more prudent to just change all of history to their liking. Several users have been seen spending their free time on User:Gwax/Timeline rebuild, in some cases changing events one year at a time, and in others trying to change entire millennia. How they are able to do this, no one is sure, though rumors of a DeLorean DMC-12 have been circulating. The outcomes of the project have, thus far, been very good for us for everyone. There was one unfortunate incident when a user tried to give his parents millions of dollars before he was born, but the extra money forced them to separate before he was conceived. All of a sudden he didn't exist, but then if he didn't exist, how could he have gone back in time to change anything? It caused a huge rift in space/time, a bit of a bother really. But we're happy to report that everything has been sorted out with no casualties only one casualty! Remarks from the community on the process have been nothing but positive. "In order to walk the road of peace, we need to climb the mountain of conflict," notable scholar TKF exclusively commented. We have our entire staff working around the clock to figure out what this means as we speak. Town drunk Dexter111344 was also heard mumbling about the subject. He blamed wizards for the whole thing, before stumbling away, probably to make more links to A wizard did it. Regardless, whether its wizards or time machines, the editing of the past continues as we speak, and will continue until all of history has been changed. Or until we get bored and move onto something else. Uncyclopedia Editors Conflicted Over Story Topic By Gerrycheevers Owing to the large amount of things happening in the last week, and also to the fact that this issue is unforgivably late, the editors of the UnSignpost were unable to settle on a single topic for the second story of this week's edition. The editors were also unable to agree on either two topics for a rare three-story issue or how many UnSignpost editors it takes to screw in a lightbulb (the UnSignpost staff has been left to ponder this question in the dark). As a decision could not be reached, it was decided after much deliberation and petty arguing that all of the candidate stories be mentioned rapid-fire in a single story, so as to confuse and irritate the reader and cause him to be required to navigate back to this issue to click on all of the links. These stories are as follows: Zombiebaron returns and petitions to end voting. His effort is parodied, rebutted, and parodied again. A link to Requested Articles is placed on the sidebar and MadMax commences handing out badges to requested article creators. Zombiebaron returns again to demand reskins, which we understand means he needs to replace all of his undead flesh with "fresh flesh". Cajek returns, but not really. VFH maxes out at 23 nominations at press time, including some discussion-inducing selections. More events certainly occured, but we can't be arsed to list everything for you.

Check out these pages! UN:REQ Gone Wilde! All the Greatest Music of the 80s, on Three Great Cassettes! Whose Sandwich? From our logs: 14:47, 26 July 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 8 hours ‎(I banned a guy for too long this one time. Then I had nachos.) 20:40, 29 July 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked MadMax (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 Minute (Constantly littering recent changes with thousands of really useful edits.) 20:45, 29 July 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 minutes ‎(Not having enough tits.) 15:17, 30 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.173.57.31 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(blanking? why not just wear a t-shirt proudly declaiming "I have no life"? it has much the same effect, but you might get away with claiming it's ironic...) Biopic of the Week Touching down on the Uncyclopedia runway in December '08, Saberwolf116 has quickly become one of the all-time great Pee Reviewers. With 86 of them under his belt, Saber has recently ridden off into a yellow sunset to pursue some sort of education, or something along those lines that will detract from his Uncyclopedia-ing. Return soon, fair Saberwolf! Old-School Featured Article of the Week Bold Speech to text software bold is the most wide Lee used applicate shin by lacy people who can knot be bother to type. It's bark tech know lodge-y has vast Lee bark improve in Reese cent years. Bark bark it is not recommend Ed bark four use in bark off is spaces bark with noisy bark dogs. Diabolical Plan to Overtake the Wiki of the Week It seems that UnSignpost co-chief editor Under user has recently succeeded in the first stages of producing a sewer-dwelling offspring (pictured). Rumors of UU using the as-yet-unnamed biological sockpuppet for activities of questionable morality are unconfirmed. Congratulations, UU! Reader Poll Results Last week we asked loyal UnSignpost readers to weigh in on the immensely interesting issue of formatting. There was no clear consensus on the subject, as it seems Uncyclopedians employ the full range of screen resolutions, and as such it's a wonder anyone can read the UnSignpost at all. The most telling aspect of the poll was its response rate, indicating that a full eight people read the UnSignpost.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

It's on time, you were just high and didn't realize when it got here! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 02:38, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

A bit late but..

Rejoice, Puppy! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

Thanks again - I'm starting to put some of your suggestions into practice. Calindreams 09:45, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

Hey...

We're still cool, right? Methy didn't seem to happy about what I said on my talk page, just wanted to make sure I haven't gone too far and offended anybody. I was just kidding.    Orian57    Talk   16:13 7 August 2009

No offence intended or taken. Mnbvcxz seems to have a fairly interesting definition of sexual deviancy, but it takes a lot more than that to even begin to scratch the surface of offending me. I stopped talking only cause it was late local time and I've started work this week, so I've been fairly brain dead for the most of the week while in training. Pup t 23:26, 7/08/2009

Good good. You big New Zealander, you.    Orian57    Talk   23:29 7 August 2009

Spoken like a true Cymraeg. Pup t 23:32, 7/08/2009

I'm not that Welsh. or at all welsh come to think of it.    Orian57    Talk   23:34 7 August 2009

True, but there is a certain way that you can offend 95% of Australians. (The other 5% are New Zealanders in disguise.) Pup t 23:37, 7/08/2009

Lol I was making a joke. :D    Orian57    Talk   23:39 7 August 2009

Cheerio

50% off

---

your next prescription of Cheerios (avenasativa) tablets.
Offer valid only in California. Offer applies only with a doctor's consent and prescription. Thank you for voting for the featuring of Cheerios. Your support is much appreciated. Discount available only before time on signature. Therefore discount is void everywhere. Sorry.
Sir MacMania GUN— 15:56, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

---

Thank you for voting. Sir MacMania GUN— 16:15, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for Nominating me Noob of the Month

Thanks last month's Noob of the Month for nominating me Noob of the Month! At least for six hours and six minutes. I see it was removed because they discovered I snuck in here one day shortly before finals, then came back posting like a mad girl a month and a half later after I moved and went on summer vacation. I know, that technically disqualifies me, doesn't it? (Insert Appropriate Profanity Here). But thanks a brunch! Miley Spears 21:40, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Ur welcome. I was thinking I'd seen sweet Fanny Adams of your posts and then all of a sudden it was like being in a torrential downpour - but in a good way. I'm still not changing my stance on Miley Cyrus though! Unless she starts to wriggle. Pup t 23:29, 7/08/2009

:0 that doesn't mean what I think it does. Right?    Orian57    Talk   23:33 7 August 2009

I think I just came up with a quadruple entendre without entending. Pup t 23:38, 7/08/2009

Care to explain yourself?    Orian57    Talk   23:41 7 August 2009

I'm not a Miley Cyrus fan. On a side note, I'm creating a listing of the worst songs ever in a social networking site that I happen to be a part of (with a slightly more professional name) and "Achy Breaky Heart" turned up the other day. Although I still don;t think it's quite as bad as "To all the girls I've loved before" by Willie Nelson and Julio Inglesias, or however his name is spelt. Pup t 23:50, 7/08/2009

Not everybody can be a fan. Some people don't have taste. :D I think she's a lot more talented that the silly material she does. I think she'll be like Madonna, really respected after she stops being worshiped by preteens and young teens. Miley Spears 00:25, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

I don't think that she's as Disney as the normal Disney formulaic stuff like this, but she's still Disney, and she's still the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus. And I remember 1982 - Madonna stopped being considered the next pop queen and started to be considered as a true artist... about three seconds after she appeared in a playboy centrefold. (And I hate to be judgemental, but it was not the best photo shoot that a young woman could have hoped for.) Pup t 00:30, 8/08/2009

Hmm, well there's a small part of me that bought and rather enjoyed her album. But you're right she is awful.    Orian57    Talk   00:59 8 August 2009

My youngest son is just the right age to be getting the tail end of the Miley Cyrus adoration, which means I've been made to watch too much of it. I'll admit that it's more watchable than "That's so Raven..." Pup t 01:01, 8/08/2009

It's good that you're that accepting. When I came out my dad cried.    Orian57    Talk   01:15 8 August 2009

I am so hoping that one of the three boys comes out of the closet soon just for the mind fuck that it would do to all the grandparents. The youngest one also recently completed the "which female grease character are you" on Facebook, so I have high hopes there. Pup t 01:21, 8/08/2009

Actually the more older brothers a guy has the more likely they are to be gay. provinding they all came from the same mother. I could explain this theory in greater detail if you wish, but I can't be arsed right at this minute.    Orian57    Talk   01:27 8 August 2009

Really? Most of the guys that I've ever... dated, for want of a better word, have been younger brothers, or only children. But that might just be my type. Pup t 01:37, 8/08/2009

If you got to know them that well I'd say it was dating. Also I said older brother but the previous number of pregnancies that would have turned out to be boys is really what I mean. But yeah, it's still just the best idea they've got, and from what I've read it does seem to need more research. Not that it really matters and I have this terrifying idea that if they do figure it out they'll work on a cure...    Orian57    Talk   01:47 8 August 2009

Well, monogamy means that I'm cured by default. Damn it! Pup t 01:59, 8/08/2009

Well, no it doesn't but, you know what I mean? It's easier for you Bi's anyway - but image the possibility of a cure. The religious fundies would be all over it like a rash (indeed they already are and it doesn't exist yet), so you'd have people that are born into that world "having" to take it. Pretty soon that social pressure would escape into the rest of society and it'd bassically put the attitudes back to square one. Making being gay difficult again. Not only would a cure be unethical for that reason it'd also be detrimental to society. for reasons I'm too tierd to explain and I want to go to bed now and I'm really not sure how this turned into an ethical discussion in the first place.    Orian57    Talk   02:15 8 August 2009

Don't know how we got there either. And no, I was being tongue in cheek when I said cured by default - I know who I turn to watch when they go past... Pup t 02:22, 8/08/2009

Of course you were, but it was late and I was very tierd (I haven't linked to that in a while).    Orian57    Talk   13:49 8 August 2009

Your Pee Review Awaits You, Sir

El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 22:43, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Hi POTR, thought I might as well take a wander over here. Your changes so far have made a huge difference, the formatting particularly. Still not completely convinced about "phallus", it is more jocular though, so it seems humour wins over frustration in the end. I'd keep playing with that last paragraph if I were you, see if anything else comes. Thank you for changing the title too, that makes a big difference, I think we have a possible feature-worthy here (obviously after a Pee from a different person first). My last suggestion would be to change the "whoops" link to something more obviously comical that sums up the whole article like "self-indulgence" or "pretentious" or "vacuous". Except none of those, they're not quite right, I'm sure we'll think of something.==El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 00:58, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Actually the "Whoops" was because I wanted to keep this separate from the postmodern page, and the whole redlink "Postmodern doesn't exist" thing was a pun I couldn't pass up. As it's changed to a guide I might remove this all together - it would work for an article on postmodern art, but not as part of a guide (because ostensibly this is something that would be printed and carried when looking at the exhibit.) I'm going to be going over this for a while before I get happy with the title of the last piece. I'm also trying to think of another word for "pretentious" that would fit in there, as part of the issue is that the title of it still needs to "flow". I originally had "twat" in there, which I'm half tempted to go back to, so I might do that in the end. Pup t 04:05, 9/08/2009

Very interesting that you chose twat POTR, since that was what I was considering using too. It has a funny-yet-aggressive tone. Well, I'm glad you're concentrating on perfecting this as much as possible, I guess I'll just leave you to it then :) --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 09:46, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Hahaa, just popped by to say "mental midget" is very funny but it might still be not quite right --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 09:49, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks a-million

For the good advice. Which will follow to a T from now on. I have written many pages, you can see if any are good on my user page. "Much appreciated, the help, it is!" (Yoda)--Funnybony 11:14, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Guide to a Postmodernist Art Exhibition

Yes, sure I can find a place for that one - thanks for bringing it to my attention. I'll make a couple of corrections to the grammar (mostly just because I'm a pedantic bastard) and add it to the list. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:34, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Feel free - just one request. Please try to avoid losing the Australian English. Pup t 12:41, 9/08/2009

Australians speak English...? ;-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:44, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Congratulations

I was not sure what you were up to with your user page, so I will put this here:

Featured Article: Six Hats

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

Nice one. MrN 03:58, Aug 10

Congrats (: zh/Singapore IS 4412:31 August 10

UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Word to your mother.

August 6th, 2009 • Issue 59 • Painfully Extracting Nuggets of Truth from the Teeth of the News!

Uncyclopedia Triples Ad Revenue; Users Line Up For Paychecks By Gerrycheevers This week, Uncyclopedia's benign evil overlords, Wikia, shuffled the advertising layout on our fine website. Previously, the left sidebar contained just one Wikia spotlight. These spotlights are not advertisements as much as they are a way to whore Wikia and increase its position in some sort of Google rankings, since the links from the banner ads go from Wikia-hosted Uncyclopedia to Google and back to Wikia-hosted wikis on such relevant topics to users who are on a satire wiki as the Burnout Wiki and the Harry Potter wiki. These Google rankings are actually a series of thousands of monkeys at Google headquarters, who move beads around on giant abaci based on search engine hits. Users who click these cleverly disguised and probably illegal "double-switch" ads cause the monkeys to alter the beads in Wikia's favor. However, in recent days this Wikia spotlight was moved to the bottom of each page rather than the sidebar and multiplied by three. A cursory look at any of the wikis linked in these spotlights results in a brutal assault of the senses, as they are all swimming in banner advertisements, sidebar advertisements, advertisements in the content, and links to highly useful Wikia features such as Wikianswers. While the increased number of spotlights on Uncyclopedia has not directly resulted in any cash flow, the increased Google bead rating has indeed caused Wikia stock to jump by six beads (the stock market is also organized using giant abaci, only it is operated by goats rather than monkeys). Wikia has decided to share credit for this jump in value with the users of Uncyclopedia, and all users will be receiving checks for equal amounts next Tuesday. The line forms behind Olipro, wherever he happens to be on Tuesday when the stock market goats arbitrarily decide to stop working for the day. A Hell of a Time at the Village Dump By Bad Shroom Recently in the forums, BHOP's activity has arguably skyrocketed. An IP has started a new rhyming craze, and the cheesy, crunchy snack food CheddarBBQ has revived many topics that were getting rather aged, such as Fantasy Football, a Shakira-esque topic, and even his own birthday's topic. Back on BHOP, fruity user Neox's random storytelling and serious user YouKnowWhatTheMusicMeans' serious, dramatic storytelling have made Forum:Who HATES MochiAds? 2's story a complete, random mess. Also, Optimuschris and Modusoperandi have been having one hell of a time discussing the much-anticipated failing of the new G.I. Joe movie. Finally, users have a had a heated battle over whether to ban the Abstain feature on VFH, which is ending up as off-topic and random as an episode of Lost. Are there any cool discussions going on? That's the forum news in your area, now here's Mr. G with the weather, only on Public Access Channel 2!

Check out these pages! The 18th Quadrennial Slut List Obama Tosses the Patriot Act at Uncyclopedia STFU, N00B!! From our logs: 08:49, 31 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a flat cap and a whippet ‎(tha's callin' us lazy, lad? sithee 'ere, I were down t'pit 36 hours a day for tuppence when tha were nobbut a lad!) 02:40, 1 August 2009 Ljlego (Talk | contribs) resurrected Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Nah, it wasn't so bad. Your nakedness totally made up for it.) 02:01, 5 August 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.14.52.46 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Yes, you tell that "Jacob" what you really think about him! Now that you've told him off on a random website online you'll be the coolest one of your friends. You are such a badass.) Biopic of the Week Like most of the dozens of Uncyclopedians that hail from Norwell, Massachusetts, The UnIdiot is awesome. Perhaps most well known for his high quality journalism, he has also branched out into public service announcements and novelized fiction. We don't know what the deal with Norwell is; probably something to do with the water. Old School Featured Article of the Week The Water powered bus is the most prominent mode of public transportation in rainy cities such as Seattle and London, and also underwater cities like Atlantis and New Orleans. Invented in 1954 by Sir Henry Bus, the water powered bus is capable of maintaining speeds between 'brisk gentlemanly walk' and 'brisk gentlemanly trot' for up to ten minutes. Cajek Update of the Fortnight Noted funnyman Cajek was recently spotted announcing his presence and simultaneously his lack of activity. However, he was also sighted vandalizing signatures and driving in a reckless manner, with a crumpet in his hand and a groundhog on his lap, respectively.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:01, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

I notice you've been "messin' up" a bit on VFH

Whether you've been failing to sign your votes, breaking numbering, not numbering at all, or anything else like that, I'm here to give you a warning and some recommended reading. Really recommended. Read that and please learn how to do things right from now on. Thank you. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 16:25, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Where? Timestamp is attached to my sig (although as class=sighidden) and I actually went through and fixed a couple of broken numberings last night. Where did I break them? Pup t 20:47, 11/08/2009

Nevermind - I found the boo-boo... Although in my own defence, please check out what was happening with the numbering before that... Pup t 20:56, 11/08/2009

Apologies

Think I might have messed about with a joke you had in the Post-Modernist gallery article. I assume that the link is supposed to be red, right? --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 14:10, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah - stupid pun, but the whole idea is that it's supposed to link to something that "isn't there" even though it clearly is. Very subtle and 99.9% of people won't get it unless they understand how much I hate red links, and post-modern philospohy... Pup t 20:58, 12/08/2009

Yeah, I'm much the same, I can't stand red links either, it just took me a while to work out why your red link had all this weird code around it ;) --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 21:07, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Dead Dick

Hey, bro! from experience in the army I think this is funny. But I don't want to gross anyone out. What you you think - if you have a chance to look and let me know. Much appreciated--Funnybony 15:45, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Half read it but couldn't get into it. If you want a review, then put in into the PEE queue, but I'd suggest read HTBFANJS first. Pup t 05:51, 15/08/2009

• Thanks!!! That's what I'll do after careful rewrite. I just finished HTBSANJF and think it's a great guide.--Funnybony 19:40, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

Pixar

Rejoice, Puppy! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

Why not?

I'll be starting revision work on Pixar soon, although right now I'm juggling that with my version of 2001: A Space Odyssey (which, once again, will probably have to go into an alt namespace) and User:MacMania/Cartoon physics (for once, an encyclopaedic tone). First things first, though:

• Yeah, I moved it to UnScripts:Pixar: An Introduction for Uncyclopedians. I'll go from there.
• Could you clarify what you mean by an "I'm a little bit country/I'm a little bit rock-and-roll" moment?
• And how's this? I have a feeling that something's wrong with the potato gag at the end...

Sir MacMania GUN—[21:12 13 Aug 2009]

I wonder why, but resizing this GIF seems to cause strange things to happen. Oh well. Revisions are in progress anyway (unless my browser crashes again). Sir MacMania GUN—[21:32 13 Aug 2009]

Improved marginally with regards to opening, Act 2, picture captions; I've also put in a small appendix. Let me know what you think so far. Sir MacMania GUN—[02:31 14 Aug 2009]

You're right... damned odd...

1. As for the potato gag, the light is fading before it hits, whereas my envisioning was that the light shatters when the potato hits it. I agree it's really close.
2. Intro is much better - I can actually picture that in my head as a Woody/Buzz type of thing. Works really wwell
3. What do you feel about the "Create your own movie" section?
4. The final cars reference is fantastic... exactly what I had in mind, but done by a better writer.
5. And the "Little bit country/little bit rock n roll" is stolen from a South Park episode. It's when the two conflicting sides, the redneck warmongers and the white jumpsuit wearing objectors, come together at the end of the episode where they realise that although they are polar opposites in some ways they work together well.

Skeeter: Hey, I'm a little bit county.

Randy: And I'm little bit rock n' roll, ah

Skeeter: I'll be the muscle of America

Randy: And me, I'll be the caring soul

Both: When you pust us together you get a nation with one goal. To thrive and prosper, with a little country and rock and roll.

Pup t 07:11, 14/08/2009

Ah, I see.

• I think I'll think about the "create your own" section for a bit, and either delete it entirely or expand it entirely.
• GIF should be fixed with regards to brightness. I was trying to have the effect that the potato was blocking out the light, but on retrospect, optics doesn't work that way. Perhaps this should be better. Still no idea on what messes the resize up, though. Might have something to do with the way my version of Photoshop (CS3 Extended) handles GIF compression and other geeky stuff. Apparently the Extended version gives you both extended functionality and extended bugginess.
• Something just entered my mind, so if you don't mind I'll just jot it down here: Woody's a little bit country, Buzz's a little bit astronaut.
• That South Park excerpt is hilarious.

Sir MacMania GUN—[22:48 14 Aug 2009]

Much better gif work... my own image manipulation options are fairly Spartan - just stuff that will run on my ten year old computer - so I can't offer any help to fix that resize issue. But given that we're looking full size, I wouldn't call it an issues for you, just for whoever else wants to use it after. Maybe someone in Radical X's corner can offer a fix? Pup t 00:42, 15/08/2009

I've just been playing a bit with this, and I don't think the issue is the image - I think it's wiki re-size issue. I saved a copy of Pixar,gif to my pc, and created this html.

<p>
<img src="Pixar.gif"
width="200">
</p>

<p>
<img src="Pixar.gif">
</p>

Now the image expanded and shrunk with no issues at all - even seemed to run a little smoother in the large version when run from a locally held file. I then grabbed the image and threw it into an OOOOOLD gif animator that I have, and recreated the file. I played a little with the lengths of frames - getting rid of the 5 blank frames at the start and merging them into one that ran for 0.35s - and tried that on home PC - worked like a dream. I then uploaded that to here and tried to run it. Full size the image worked, smaller it didn't even load, let alone run. Workaround - We can re-do the original image as a smaller image if it is needed - rather than being 500px we reduce it to 200px width - but I wonder if we're working at this simply because it seems to be buggy, rather than it actually negatively impacting on your article. Pup t 07:02, 16/08/2009

Yeah, this is just me being obsessive about the bug. The image on the article as it is right now doesn't seem to cause any problems. On the other hand, the way images are being resized seems sluggish and problematic anyway. Ex. when I upload a new version of an image, like Pixar.gif or CPhys2.png (that's for User:MacMania/Cartoon physics, at which you're certainly welcome to take a look, although it's only about half-finished), the resized versions that I've previously used don't seem to update very quickly. Ah well.

Your idea is brilliantly simple, though. Those are the kind of ideas that I'll never be able to think of, because I tend to have a Heath Robinson/Rube Goldberg type of mind. Sir MacMania GUN—[02:50 17 Aug 2009]

Problem

You seem to be pretty good at wiki formatting. How do I do one of those little black rectangles, as if I've edited out a word? - I'm sure you know the ones I mean but I can't find one to copy, User:Sog1970/ Gotham City Tourist Information really needs one. --Sog1970 21:56, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

You use the {{C}} template. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 02:36, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Gah, Boomer beat me to it. Yes, like {{C|Bingle Bongle Dingle Dangle Yickety-Doo Yickety-Dah Ping Pong Lippy Tappy Too Tah}}, which shows up as Bingle Bongle Dingle Dangle Yickety-Doo Yickety-Dah Ping Pong Lippy Tappy Too Tah. Alternatively, if you need just black rectangles that don't reveal any text when you hover over them, as in █████ ██████, you can copy this: ██████████

Sorry for the obnoxiousness, everyone. Sir MacMania GUN—[02:40 14 Aug 2009]

It's quite alright, it's not like this is the talk page of anybody that matters. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 02:44, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

I feel so loved... Pup t 03:21, 14/08/2009

♥ Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 03:26, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Faggots.    Orian57    Talk   22:51 14 August 2009

Oh, I guess we'll stop the camera running then... Pup t 00:43, 15/08/2009

Vitilgo

I had posted a message on that article's page but got a croak from TKF indicating I was doing something wrong. I was going to ask if the had article had been substantially changed since it failed the VFH . It still looked the same to me and I was keen to see it go round again for another vote sometime soon (though I think there is a gap of three months before you can do this). --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 15:34, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

There was some changes during VFH, but not enough to tip it over. I'm sitting on it at the moment to be honest as I had a couple of other things (about 15) in the meantime and waiting for that inspirational flash to hit me on this. Feel free to play with it if you like - I do these for the enjoyment people get out of them, if you can increase the enjoyment, then that's fine by me. Pup t 21:00, 16/08/2009

Oh, and I read somewhere a couple of weeks until it can be re-nommed, but I'd get clarification on that first... probably from TKF Pup t 21:05, 16/08/2009

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for making my article a feature

It's about fucking time.

—Thanks

---

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:05, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

A Message of Little to No Value

You are one of the new people that have popped in here while I was away. Now that your a big time writer with your features and your reviews and whatnot your probably too cool to talk to lil ol' me. But if you need any help or anything I'd be happy to assist in any way I can. Also, I am a big fan of collabs so if you ever want to work on something I would be happy to pitch in. And since I never got the chance to do this, I send a belated "Welcome to the site! Hope you enjoy yourself!"    Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   03:46, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Feedback

I never heard if you like your front page blurb. Well? did ya? And you can say you didn't. I won't ban you. much. O_O ~ 14:39, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, I didn't know who to thank. I honestly didn't expect it and I was at first taken aback, and then laughed out loud. I never thought about my pseudonym being taken quite that way before. Mad props! (or in Poncy English) You deserve to be accoladed!Pup t 07:25, 19/08/2009

That's exactly what I thought your name meant too. A puuppy litteraly sleeping on top of the radio.    Orian57    Talk   07:30 19 August 2009

That's good to know :) And now I need to stalk SOG to get his feedback as well. ~ 08:07, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

It's actually based on the old HMV - columbia icon of the puppy looking at the gramaphone... I just twisted it a little... whaddya know? Pup t 08:46, 19/08/2009

So "Dog Observing Music Player" becomes Puppy on the Radio... Right.    Orian57    Talk   12:04 20 August 2009

UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that just got hijacked by Woody and Ape. Mwhahahaha!

Date August 13th, 2009 • Issue 60 • Taking the News, Making it Better

UnSignpost Editor Disappears; UnSignpost Suffers Mysterious Drop in Quality By The Woodburninator August 10, 2009 - a date which will live in infamy. Gerrycheevers, the UnSignpost's handsome, talented, and, often times, only editor announced his leave of absence in order to head west, and make a name for himself. In an UnSignpost Exclusive, Gerry talked at length about his final destination and the exciting journey he expects. "[I'll be heading to] north dakota. [I reckon I'll take the famous Oregon Trail, driving a horse and buggy, herding cattle, planting seeds of injustice wherever I may.]" How long this move out west will take is unknown by all but our best psychics, and since Gerry has them trained to bite anyone who come near, we'll go with Gerry's approximate date of August 21. If all of our readers miss Gerry (and we have a feeling that, one paragraph in, you already do), please drop him a line. Tell him how much he is missed. Tell him that if he ever leaves again, we won't be so forgiving. Just tell him something. We don't want to have to do this without him again. In an unrelated note, the UnSignpost - usually a shining example of grammatical correctness, good spelling, and hilarity - seems to have hit a drop in quality for this week's issue. The reasons for these changes seem to be a mystery to everyone. As far as we can tell, the problems that have arisen are completely arbitrary. The reasons for this change in quality have been the talk of the community this week. Some have suggested the recent meteor shower has caused an influx of gamma radiation into our atmosphere, creating a negative energy all over the Earth, and thus causing our writing abilities to falter. Under User stupidly blamed all of this on the change in editors, saying "Good to see we're keeping the time-honoured Signpost tradition of the revolving door to the editor's office alive and well. Although now Woody's in there, that should probably be a 'revolting' door." Bastard. Uncyclopedian creates Trivia Bot, ruins everything By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Popular Uncyclopedian Electric mocha something-or-other, also known as EMC, this week unveiled his latest creation: a trivia bot for the Uncyclopedia IRC Channel. The bot, named "UncycTrivia", stands at over seven feet tall and is made exclusively from red crayons. Seemingly, its only function is to spout random nonsense under the guise of trivia questions and then demand answers, awarding points to whoever manages to guess the random word or phrase it considers the answer. EMC let loose his bot on the nerds, perverts and middle-aged alcoholics of #uncyclopedia, leading to even less constructive conversation then usual. Instead, the channel is mostly filled with dozens of people shouting random words in the hopes of being awarded meaningless points. Some, however, have pointed out that the only real difference between this and the way things were before is the awarding of points. Not content with destroying one channel, however, EMC subsequently decided to bring his bot to ##turtle,the exciting new channel with the dubious honour of being "the BHOP of IRC" (but with less Bad Shroom), which also served as a staging post for a recent troll invasion of Yahoo! Answers. EMC was unavailable for comment when I was throwing this piece together in five minutes. He is presumed to be sitting in a cave somewhere stroking his large red crayon and laughing dementedly. New Editors Have Trouble Matching up Left and Right Sides By The Woodburninator In a startling development, the newest editors of the UnSignpost are proving to be quite inept at lining up the left and right sides of Post's template. It seems that our penchant for placing more and more boxes on the right side of the page has defeated the natural aesthetic of the Post's two-even-sides strategy. While this is a problem, it does seem to be fixable. Namely, by adding this headline and story. Is this just an obvious cry for help, that we are unable to do this without Gerry? Probably. But since our hostile takeover has proven quite successful unstoppable so far, we would disagree.

Check out these pages! International fucking of sorts Wikipedia gets uglier! Racist apes demand equal pay From our logs: 14:17, 10 August 2009 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.165.47.133 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Who is Ed and why should is he better than me?) 14:18, 10 August 2009 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fuck you, me, stop proving that guy's point with your horrible horrible ban reasons) 15:30, 8 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 24 seconds ‎ (beating me to a ban, and using a boring ban reason when you got there. honestly, I spend seconds on a ban reason, only to find it's wasted. gnurph!) Biopic of the Week Perhaps the finest research analyst from Boston that Uncyclopedia has ever seen, Gerrycheevers is among one of the most awarded users on the site. He has performed the rare feat of capturing Every single major monthly Award this site has to offer, plus NotM too. Add that to his 21.5 features, the class and dignity with which he has won them all, and his constant efforts as the main editor of the UnSignpost, it would seem that the reign of Cheevers is just begining. That is if he ever gets back here. Old School Featured Article of the Week The Little boy who lives down the street is a child who lives down the street that no other children have ever seen. (And no-one knows his name either...) This is because the child has died, in several fashions, over and over again, the subject of which is constantly being brought up by your Mother and/or Grandmother when they’re explaining why you cannot do something that you really want to do. VFD vote of the week "With the exception of Bruce Lee, these people are the least funniest people who have ever lived. Why people continue to cream their jeans over them for their supposed god-like abilities, I can't figure that out. Delete. Delete. Delete. Sakujo. Delete this massive faggotry. These people ain't bad THEY AIN'T NOTHIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -- Roman Dog Bird 04:27, 13 August 2009 (UTC) Sannse Trivia (from UncycTrivia) Q: Sannse moved to San Francisco because she is a ______ (hint: it starts with an "L") A: Liberal Actually, now we need another box. Woody, you fucking idiot.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  21:05, Aug 18

Flea

The rambling self absorbed nature of the piece is what i was aming for. You picked up on that in a big way and for that sir.....I am beholden to you.

I'm so glad to know it was deliberate. However, the problem with rambling and self-absorbed is that it's rambling and self-absorbed. In a review, forum or user page, fantastic! In an article designed to amuse - just comes across as vanity.

feel free to view the score as higher for achieving minor goal, but still not quite hitting main one... Pup t 14:57, 20/08/2009

I propse a conversation

Converse.    Orian57    Talk   10:57 21 August 2009

Why does nobody do cyber sex any more? Pup t 11:59, 21/08/2009

Because it's cheap easy and thus, unsatisfying. I'd imagine.    Orian57    Talk   21:04 22 August 2009

I blame webcams and txt spk. The first for being g to easy, and the second for destroying the eroticism. I mean i wnt 2 suk ur cok :o is such an ugly way of phrasing things. Pup t 23:23, 22/08/2009

I blame you for not being erotic enough.    Orian57    Talk   09:19 23 August 2009

whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart Pup t 10:17, 23/08/2009

Erm. Sweetheart...? Also I've been meaning to ask, how did your son come out? Was it a "Mum, Dad: I'm gay." Sort of thing or did you catch him looking at naughty blowjobs? You didn't ask did you?    Orian57    Talk   11:25 23 August 2009

Any time anyone complains about my prowess, I assume that they're fishing... And I assumed for ages, because he never once said anything about being attracted to girls, and he... well, he rang the gaydar bell, for want of a better way to put it. But the older two at about the same age got busted for downloading porn, I just gave him access to a phone with limited internet access, and then busted him for the same. It was hard though, because at the same time that I'm trying to tell him that I accept his sexuality I have to tell him off for downloading porn. And I couldn't use the tried and true "You're objectifying women" argument which is about the only decent anti-porn argument that I can come up with from my extremely left-wing, secular standing. Pup t 11:32, 23/08/2009

Phone. You're on dial-up!?    Orian57    Talk   11:51 23 August 2009

Hell no - for phone read "cell phone with mobile broadband internet access that is restricted to only a small number of sites." The real issue is one of those sites was email, and his e-mail address got into the hands of a few nasty paedophiles - that bit got me steamed up... Pup t 12:07, 23/08/2009

oh geeze, that's not good. Anyway. You should throw him a party. buy him a car and shower him in gold bullion. Make the other two come out that would, and that's be a proper mindfuck for the grandparents. :P    Orian57    Talk   12:18 23 August 2009

yeah... But he's twelve. He's got a shit time ahead of him for the next few years, and I'll let him stay in the closet outside of his mother and I for as long as he likes. Besides, he's going to be the rich child who buys his old dad a car!Pup t 12:29, 23/08/2009

Twleve! Bloody hell, I was seventeen before I came out to my parents. Ok everyone else knew but at twelve I was still hoping it'd go away and I'd be normal again. I kinda accepted myself pretty quickly but even then I was thirteen and a half before I came out to my best friend... /mumbles/ kids today with their confidence and and stuff... And as for him having a shit time of it that kinda depends on where you live (it's New Zealand isn't it, or is that other one that's a bit similar and kills back-packers (although I really meant wither or not it's a rural or urban area)) and the general attitudes of the people around him. If you two know and are ok with it he should be fine. I mean I still don't properly know where I stand with my dad, he cried. And then the only other time it's come up since he cried again and said he wasn't happy with it (wich I thought was sort of obvious from the tears.) Anyway. If you ever need any advice I'm sure I'll be able to make something up. :)    Orian57    Talk   13:06 23 August 2009

We only kill English backpackers... and only after the Ashes series... mutter mutter mutter. And it's sub-urban area that is fairly tolerant, but if he goes much further out he's going to come across people who should use more sunscreen on their necks while working. Besides, my partner and I are fine, his brothers - well, he hasn't come out to them yet, and the eldest is conservative (I still don't know where I went wrong), but the other will be cool. I still don't understand these dads thinking that having a gay son is something to be sad about, or considered as a failure, or whatever. I mean, my kids are all Ginger, and I know that's not my failing. It's their mothers. Pup t 20:15, 23/08/2009

Sounds kinda like where I live. Although I'm nearly five hundred miles from the nearest gay bar. Sucks about your eldest, although maybe when he finds out he might change his mind (unless he doesn't have a mind and is simply rebelling). Probably would have helped if he was cool though, no doubt your youngest looks up to him in some way. As for the rednecks, really the only advice I can give is to treat them like nothing and spend your life feeling vastly superior. It's their problem not his. Well that's how I see it. Having good friends is important anyway, but it really helped me that mine were prepared to listen to me bang on and on and on and on and on about what guys I liked. And if all else fails there's always the internet. Pleanty of support sites and such. I do hope it goes ok for him though.    Orian57    Talk   21:35 23 August 2009

I might keep him away from gay support sites for a couple of years... once bitten and all. Although that does bring me to my next theory of responsible child rearing - children should not have access to pornographic material until they are at least 14, and even then they should have the respect to do it behind their parents back! That's when I started buying porn, and there's nothing wrong with my sexual maturity... teeheehee, MrN has golden boobies! Pup t 22:24, 23/08/2009

That's when i got the internet in my room first. and yeah, behind your parents back. Probably more illegal to do it infront of them.    Orian57    Talk   23:22 23 August 2009

Actually it amazes me when my friends of teenagers say to me that their kids are spending too much time on the internet, or are looking at online porn, or whatever. I usually turn to them and say "Password protect your computer login." Two weeks later still complaining about the same thing. Children don't need civil liberties in the home - it's a Patriarchy/Matriarchy, not a democracy! Pup t 00:18, 24/08/2009

Yeah my parents did that and did the fire walls and things. Then I complained that it wouldn't let me do anything and mum had the same problem. And so the firewalls whent away and I could look at whatever I pleased. And I lived happily ever after: THE END. Also if your house is the castle and your family a monarchy, does that maake you The Queen?    Orian57    Talk   05:23 24 August 2009

It's the coronet isn't it... I knew it was a pit over the top. Pup t 06:06, 24/08/2009

Pit? It's a whole fucking canyon, darling! I expected you'd know better. Also what's a coronet?    Orian57    Talk   08:43 24 August 2009

Ducal coronet Pup t 10:01, 24/08/2009

Oh my god I want one! I'd leik wear it all the time!    Orian57    Talk   13:50 24 August 2009

I have the image of the RCA puppy wearing it is bad enough... Added to that a one-eyed Giant carrying a club wearing it... Pup t 19:07, 24/08/2009

Really I just see myself wearing it: A fat bloke, in a dress, wearing a crown -- it's never been done before!    Orian57    Talk   10:57 25 August 2009

A fat bloke wearing A dress... That would be Divine

Pup t 12:11, 25/08/2009

I'm not old enough to get that joke. But I do: "Oh you think but you're a man..."    Orian57    Talk   12:19 25 August 2009

Divine died something like 25 years ago. If Divine were around today, he would appear on Jerry Springer, and that would be the height of his popularity. But I have to admit I do like the song. Pup t 12:26, 25/08/2009

I looked for teh one done by Divine but couldn't find it, got the version by Full Frontal and its much the same. One of my favourite songs that is, along with "Gone Away" by the Offspring and "Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" by Panic at the Disco. Hey I have an idea -- lets talk about music now!    Orian57    Talk   13:04 25 August 2009

Cool... Do you think we should be showing more respect to potential musical icons who write for uncyclopedia? I mean, UU might really be David Bowie after all... Pup t 20:06, 25/08/2009

I never got any respect! Ok so I didn't sing it but I wrote it!    Orian57    Talk   20:16 25 August 2009

Ummm... do we count as the kind of blokes that people should look up to for artistic merit? Pup t 20:27, 25/08/2009

Austraillians no, you're all criminals and louts. Us in the civilised world, however...    Orian57    Talk   20:37 25 August 2009

Ha - you go without your tea and cucumber sandwiches for a day and I bet you turn into ravaging beasties (Colonial grudge? What colonial grudge?) Pup t 21:31, 25/08/2009

I was gonna post this earlier but now it's extra relevant:

   Orian57    Talk   22:15 25 August 2009

And if you can find it he also does a sketch where he talks about buying fruit in Queensland. Absolutely hysterical. And thanks for introducing me to that sketch you posted here - completely new to me. Pup t 22:33, 25/08/2009

I've only seen steve hughes fleetingly as a guest act on other people's shows but he's already one of my favourites. Also racisim is funny.    Orian57    Talk   10:33 26 August 2009

Spoken like a true Welshman. Pup t 20:00, 26/08/2009

Thank you

for your review, Puppy. There's no I in RAPE (lol contribs) 15:54 Aug 21, 2009

It was a pleasure. Honestly. I enjoyed the read and it was such a simple article - meant in the nicest possible way - to review it was an enjoyable walk in the park. More than anything else though, I hope it's helped you look at it from an outsiders eyes so you can polish it as much as possible - although going from a few comments on the talk page it may need less work than I thought! Pup t 20:48, 21/08/2009

A blast of wind is heard, as the good spaceship Serenity approaches your userpage ...

Thank you for supporting the Firefly article! <sarcasm style="obvious">Although, if I may, my plan was really to have it fail VFH after 11 days, have it quasi-featured, start a "Feature Firefly" campaign, and eventually rewrite and have featured the article on Serenity (which is kind of in a mess at the moment).</sarcasm> But thanks anyway! Sir MacMania GUN—[03:12 23 Aug 2009]

I nommed your article...

Just so you know. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 04:49, Aug 23

Much appreciated... Pup t 05:08, 23/08/2009

UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that WILL win Zombiebaron back, damn it.

Date August 20th, 2009 • Issue 61 • Where no news is normal news

Fantasy Football Draft Finished By Guildensternenstein After four weeks of red-hot eight-man free fantasy football league draft action, the first Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League (UFFL) Draft is finally at a close: Uncyclopedia regular and DiBiase's Millions general manager The Woodburninator made Arizona Cardinals' Kicker Neil Rackers Mr. Irrelevant on the afternoon of August 21th, 2009, a mere 26 hours after the previous pick had been made. Afterward, League Commissioner and noted Nazi sympathizer Guildensternenstein promised to make all subsequent Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League official actions run much more smoothly. He vowed he would "put the drafted players on their respective fantasy teams" at some point "after I'm done writing this story for the UnSignpost and before I go see Inglorious Bastards later tonight." The draft itself was varied, and picks ranged from the predictable (Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson taken first overall) to the even more predictable (Falcons' running back Michael Turner taken with second overall pick) to the fairly predictable (Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady being the first three quarterbacks taken) to the downright wild. Notable steals include Guildy's nabbing of Chris Johnson in Round 5, Woody's snagging of Aaron Rodgers in Round 6, and Bradaphraser's criminal steal of Dallas tight end Jason Witten. For every good pick, there was a bad one, however: in moves that would make Al Davis proud, LongLiverh3 took Philadelphia's No. 3 receiver while their No. 1 and No. 2 receivers were still on the board, made 30th ranked tight end L.J. Smith the second overall tight end picked, and made Baltimore QB Joe Flacco his backup quarter back while the likes of Matt Schaub, Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning were still available. LongLiver could not be reached for comment. New UnSignpost Editor already having trouble filling up space; Falls upon pointless gimmicks, self-references, long article titles to fill void By The Woodburninator In a move that has surprised literally 0% of the Uncyclopedia UnSignpost community, the newest UnSignpost editor has already hit a wall in trying to think up new articles for the post. Well, that's not actually true. First he wrote a story trying to beg Zombiebaron to re-subscribe for the post. Then he actually looked at Zombiebaron's userpage to find out that he was actually leaving the site. Needless to say, the presses were called back, and more writing had to be done. Namely, this. Now, we at the post already know what you are thinking. But, since putting those things into print is outlawed in 36 states, two Canadian provinces, and all of Lithuania, we will instead reference the fact that there have been an awful lot of self-referencing in the UnSignpost lately. For that we are truly sorry. Also, we are sorry for self-referencing our own self-referencing. It is truly a problem that continues to build upon itself. We hope to soon continue with the top notch reporting that is so often found in our hallowed archives. Such as the time we wrote about Spang's village dump conquests, or the time we self-referenced how the UnSignpost's lovable mascot, "Dognewspaper" had not been in the Unsignpost for over nine months. Or that time we wrote about the Fantasy Football Draft being finished. Yes, all of those times were good. And we plan - nae, promise - to, in the very near future, continue bringing those kinds of articles to your doorstep. That is, if you don't mind finding a bit of drool upon it.	Check out these pages! Merging with Wikipedia? Certainly not! YOU ARE NOT THINKERER! The sausage fest just got more sausagey. From our logs: 12:30, 16 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.133.6.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (blanking pages makes baby jesus cry. it also gets your ass banned. maybe one or the other of those things will convince you not to do it again) 10:55, 18 August 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 18 days ‎ (so you let me look like an ignorant baffoon for 18 days? What kind of SLA is that?) 11:02, 18 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 432 hours ‎ (it's not that long in the grand scheme of things. America happily let George Bush look like an ignorant buffoon for 2 terms of office, for example...) Biopic of the Week The man from straight out of Kiel, Germany, NaturalBornKieler has been a tremendous addition to Uncyclopedia since joining in June, 2007. While he has had no issues splitting his time between both Uncyclopedia, and the German Uncyclopedia, he has, for some reason, written 10 more features, and some 100 more articles for the German Uncyclopedia than for our beautiful English side. Still, it seems he has found his calling now, working in the big bureaucracy of the Foreign Office. NBK was unable to be reached for comment, as he was unable to get the proper approval from his superiors to be interviewed by a newspaper. Ahhhh. Bureaucracy at work. Old School Featured Article of the Week The War of 1812, also known as "The War Nobody Wanted to Name", was a ridiculously embarrassing conflict fought between the United States, Great Britain, Canada, and Antarctica. Everybody lost. Coping with adolescence and struggling to maintain its identity during the Napoleonic Wars, the United States looked to its mother country for guidance. But England, a single parent with a host of colonies to look after, had little time to spend with its gawky young child. Hoping to impose some sort of discipline over its increasingly sullen ward, England resorted to a 10 p.m. curfew. Old School Old School Box of the Week Forgotten and so-short-it-possibly-ought-to-be-a-template page of the week Tact: Sure I'd leave you for a girl with bigger boobs. What do you think I am, gay?
Judges Wanted! The next PLS is impending, and the are still judging slots unfilled. Modusoperandi is looking for users who are opinionated, who think that those opinions matter, and who want to give the benefit of those opinions to many in the form of passing judgement on articles. Enjoy the temporary sensation of power! Impress your friends! Alienate those whose articles you don't favour! Sign up now!
UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  11:14, Aug 24

Mastodon

Thank you for yet another high-quality, helpful review. Like with my D&D article, I'm going to fix/revise the things you pointed out at some point today, and then have you give it a quick once-over again, if you're not opposed to the idea. Regardless, though, thanks again for the review. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:16, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

All good. It's easy to review something when you enjoy reading it, and your work always is of a high standard, and you have a decent variety in what you do. I'm surprised it stayed in the queue long enough for me to be the one who ended up reviewing. Pup t 19:07, 24/08/2009

Hah, thanks. As your signature demonstrates, your work is also extremely varied. FYI, I did some reading on the whole "Six Hats" thing, and, in retrospective, I would've voted For rather than Abstain on that article of yours. Due to unforeseen business the last two days, I've been unable to make revisions. However, as soon as they're done, I'll let you know. Thanks again. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:09, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

No stress. The PQ is getting a little heavy, so I'm focusing on cleaning that up a little. And never mind on Six Hats - the truth is humour is based upon the gut reaction, if you need to have the joke explained, then it's not worthwhile. I'm expecting that Isaac The Tank Engine may struggle a little because it's not as accessible, but by the same token I think it is written well, and for those who do understand the concept will enjoy it. (So far the only real comments against are from an atheist, and I haven't asked the other one.) Pup t 03:14, 26/08/2009

Yeah, I know what you mean with having an article struggle because of accessibility. The two best things I ever wrote (my two unfeatured UnBooks, if you're curious) never made it anywhere close to the front page due to the whole "accessibility" thing. When you're suave and sophisticated (like us) writing for a place that decidedly isn't, that'll happen. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:06, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

Alrighty, I made revisions that hopefully also serve as improvements. If you can give the article a quick once-over again and let me know what you think, that would be cool. Take your time, however, I'm in no rush. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:47, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

Better, but the Mars Volta line is still a little too much. Just saying that they became extinct after Octahedron is enough to make the point for those who understand subtlety, but stopping it at that is probably a little short. Maybe an oblique reference to Darwinian "survival of the fittest" as the reason for the extinction? I've just been brief with the overview - as I said the PQ is a priority for me - so I will come back with a little more detail over the next few days. Pup t 22:13, 26/08/2009

Gotcha, I'll change that as well. For the record, I'm a huge Mars Volta fan, though, I must say, Octahedron was profoundly disappointing. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:38, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

That didn't come across in the writing... I mean the fact that you were a fan, not that you were disappointed. I' call it a departure from their previous, sure, but I would say I was disappointed, but then again I'm not a passionate fan. Pup t 03:27, 27/08/2009

Well, it's hard to get your love of a band across in just one throwaway line, especially when said line deals with one of their few negative facets. But yeah, I'm a big TMV fan, with De-Loused... ranking among my Top 10 favorite albums of all time. While I'm here, two things: what sort of music are you in to?--from the looks of things we probably have fairly similar (if not, somewhat compatible) tastes. Second of all, I saw your message on UU's page, and the Pee situation is sort of out of hand--I did my first Pee in about a month earlier today, and plan on doing one or two more to help things move along tomorrow. Not that any of that is overly important, or anything, I just thought that since tackling the Pee queue is what you're working on at the moment you'd be interested to know that I'm also throwing in some time to the cause, or whatever. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 06:09, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Mad props for the help. And I'm really happy with the way Mastadon is looking now. Much better. I can't think of anything off the top of the scone that would improve it any further. Do you mind if I nom for VFH? Pup t 07:27, 27/08/2009

Go right ahead. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:40, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Dead Dick is Alive

Bro! I made a lot of changes based on your feed back and others. Please have another look, you might reconsider now. Removed repetition, and toned down the "Dead Dick" mention. It's an anti-war statement. Much appreciated either way. Y/s--Funnybony 20:03, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Done... and much improved over the previous! Pup t 20:14, 27/08/2009

Thanks for Peeing on Jupiter 2

Thanks for your Pee Review of Lost in Space! I tried to rewrite what was already there. I'll look at it again. Thankies! Binky The WonderSkull 17:55, 29 August 2009 (UTC)

Pixar

The featured article UnScripts:Pixar: An Introduction for Uncyclopedians now available on DVD! Get the Disney Digital 3D experience with the enclosed glasses! You'll laugh until you get incredibly disoriented! Watch interviews with the people behind the article! (Head writer and reviewer(s) only.) Deleted scenes, like the infamous rant scene about the struggle between Disney and Pixar over Toy Story 3! You'll never want to watch it again! Buy the Limited Collector's Edition now!

Thank you for supporting! Sir MacMania GUN—[16:21 30 Aug 2009]