Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Six Hats
Six Hats[edit source]
Pup 23:24, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 8.4321 | Intro - The reference (no.2) was good. But maybe you would like to describe who this "Michael Hewitt-Gleeson" and "Eric Brienstock" are. Makes it clearer. Alternatively, you can make it funny by saying something like the Michael guy is a plastic surgeon. I know, it's random, but you get it?
References - Most of them were okay, made sense, those "not-meant-to-be-funny-but-okay-anyway" type of references. Some of them were funny, like "Don't try and argue with me! Really! I know how to use big words like onomatopoeia, so "Woof!"" though I know what onomatopoeia is. You just used it. Anyway, just shorten some of those reference thingies. It's wayyy too long. And looks wayy too weird, and some are Ooh! A butterfly! way to irrelevant. Parallel thinking - Is the "An individual thinking alone will come to an argeement A group thinking together will come to an argument." part a quote? Because if it is, you should say something like "As what Dr. Bono said, "An individual thinking alone blah blah blah."" it makes the format look nicer. I know this is in the wrong section, but whatever. Stragetgies thing - Yah, good. Food is important for hats to work properly. I liked this section. The "Example programs" is good as well, having a perfect balance of hats. But you forgot Indigo for the "colors to paint the rainbow". And grey. And erm, turquoise. Types of hat - Great lists. Especially the Blue hat classroom lists. Wonderful. Humorous. Well, has the potential, at least. Application Method - The copyright infringement is well, good. But maybe you can "accidentally reveal it". Something like "Nope, I won't tell you that it requires Cheese Fries mixed with Cheddar BBQ doritos for it to happen." Something like that. |
| Concept: | 7.49876543 | Yes, good potential. Maybe you can keep including references to the grey hat. Not literal <reference> but the occasional mention of the grey hat.
|
| Prose and formatting: | 6.1626364656 | Generally - Too many references. Maybe a few references like those on SysRq's talkpage are fine, but a mass overflow of references and useless ones like "Seven!" and "Six! No, Seven!" are not required. Maybe you can cut off some of them.
Underlying Principles - The part "...as a result de Bono came..." should be "...as a result, de Bono came Parallel thinking - Ah. But why is it not in caps? It should be "Parallel thinking" and not "parallel thinking". And the sentence "...teachings of de Bono[8] they wouldn't be able..." should be changed to "...teachings of de Bono[8], they wouldn't be able..." with the comma. Types of hat? - I think it's meant to be "Types of hats" not "Types of hat". Right? Oh, and the references aer making the article look ugly. Spelling Errors
|
| Images: | 7.912345 | Book Image - The book text is not clear. Maybe you can use a GIF pic. It looks so blurrrrry.
Andromeda Image - Why is it located like, just below the "white hat" section? If you have made a mistake, just correct it. But if it's meant to be something like that, align it properly. Maybe you should use Blue hat pic - Good, Napoleon willl be delighted. Others - Yah, fine. Meant for the article, a moderate amount of humor and well, facts. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7.5 | Averaged. |
| Final Score: | 37.5058468956 | Good article. My preview says 37.something, so it's a pretty good article. one of my highest scores. |
| Reviewer: | Mr Brute! ~12:47/5/July | |