User:Kippy/BigUglyTemplateopedia

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In the annals of history, it was thought that the list of the Worst 100 Things To Stick Your Dick Into was comprised of a more-or-less random selection of Earth-based horrors – such diverse things, in fact, as snowblowers, chainsaw tensioners, and Britney Spears. However, a recent scientific discovery has revealed each of the Worst 100 Things To Stick One's Dick Into to be... an orifice of the newly-discovered organism Despicabilus horribilis, vulgarly known as the gargantuan gut-worm of planet KL5-6309. According to a strangely gleeful Dr. Ephta Octavus, professor of biology at Utah State University, "Nothing from Earth even comes close, really." Of course, most sensible people, when confronted with the living horror that is the Despicabilus horribilis, might ask "why on Earth would I want to stick my dick into something like that?" It is a puzzler; perhaps this terrifying organism's appearance belies a deep, alluring nature, or perhaps it's just the novelty of copulating with an alien organism. It does not seem to merely repulse, it piques, and piquancy is apparently just a short drive down the road from HotSexyTown. Countless human scientists have lost their genitalia within hours of acquiring a specimen of this organism. It seems to be only a matter of time before any male human looking at a gargantuan gut-worm of planet KL5-6309 feels a sudden, aching urge to "become one" with the beast. Despite the well-documented horrors that lurk within it, its orifices remain so alluring that an average of six people a day (most of them men) are torn to pieces during "scientific investigations" conducted with their ... er, shall we say, "members". (Full article...) Recently featured: Video essay Charlie Kirk Cyberbullying Velociraptor Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?	In the news One simply cannot piss until he scans this. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government continues to shit itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured) BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay. NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC On this day... October 25: Shark Awareness Day 625 - Pope Boniface V eaten by a blue shark. 1147 - The Portuguese, under Afonso I, and Crusaders from England conquer Lisbon after a four-month siege. They decide to celebrate by going for a swim, and then all get eaten by tiger sharks. 1946 - The secret vote was held by the British parliament to enact the 1946 Gay and Lesbian Slavery Act. 1977 - Renegade child eats dozens of sharks at Miami Beach. Panicked King Tritan declares State of Emergency and suspends Civil Liberties. 1979 - Greenpeace activist dies after trying to train the first vegetarian shark. 1994 - Vincent Price's tomb found empty and a series of bizarre murders occur. Sharks are prime suspects. 1997 - Charge of the White Van Men, an infamous fight during the Battle of Balaclava. 2006 - All travel to Australia banned; shark eats young child at beach. 2008 - I could not find my keys. Sharks were to blame.
Featured picture The cover of Grand Theft Auto: Vatican City, in stores soon. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You have less than a week, just 6 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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