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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
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Vigilance shall be visited upon this vermin-filled vestige forthwith!
Victims without value, vacant of vitality, shall vanish.
Volunteer for vindication!
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Forest Fire Week!Uncyclopedia is currently under Martial Law. Cleanup is in progress for the week of
November 16th to
23rd.Administrators are under orders to delete any pages out after curfew or without passports. Editors beware!
This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.
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Johnny Positive: Well, it's been a long time coming, ever since Big Budgeted Action Movie with Tons O' Explosions has been announced I've been actively following the movie like a hawk; there is just something about the premise that attracts me. A movie about a mystical object that could grant the possessor power, a battle between good and evil, tons of CGI and awesome muscular characters, what movie hasn't done that? I've been through the trials and tribulations from the moment where the actor threatened to leave the movie if he didn't get some respect to the budgetary issues where the movie almost ran out of money and I've reached the moment which matters the most; the premiere. I was excited, I put on my T-Shirt and Hat which the movie producers graciously gave to me and I entered the theater with high expectations. Let me just say that after watching the movie, my expectations were extremely satisfied and I have a lot to tell you about this newfound movie classic. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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| *... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
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In the news
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Trump pictured holding up his project in front of his friends. They're all delighted.
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On this day...
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August 29: International Androgynous Goat-People Observance Day
- 328,987 BC - At 4:02pm, Goats evolve from Dolphins.
- 240v AC- Electricity became the new fad in tribes.
- 33 AD - St. John of Patmos has a wet dream.
- 1189 - Ban Kulin wrote The Charter of Kulin, which was later banned.
- 1490-something - Chet Columbus lands in Ohio.
- 1862 - Second Battle of Bull Run. This time, Bruce Willis is brought in as lead actor in an effort to stimulate box office sales.
- 1924 - The cheeseburger is invented in Cheeseburg, California.
- 1927 - Helen Keller is born, but doesn't even notice the difference.
- 1942 - In response to World War II, ham is invented. Winston Churchill proclaims it "One small step for man, one giant leap for breakfast".
- 1942 - Famed restaurant the Grease Hut opens it doors for the first time, collectively clogging arteries across the nation.
- 1956 - In a remote corner of Canada, nothing happens.
- 1972 - Pringles, the first tessellating potato snack, are invented in Leicester by mathematician Dr Julius Pringle in order to save storage space in his tiny kitchen.
- 1999 - The War of 1812 is fought by several confused historians. Albert Einstein is the special guest referee. Soundtrack available from Arista. Shown worldwide on Pay-Per-View. Presented by Snickers. "Hungry? Why Wait?"
- 2005 - The Gulf Coast experiences light rainshowers and a moderate breeze.
- 2006 - The Antichrist comes, wearing a miniskirt.
- 2008 - The individual presumed to be The Antichrist was in fact the new Republican Party publicity director. Seems they dress in similar fashion.
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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
