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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
Somebody touch me.
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Vigilance shall be visited upon this vermin-filled vestige forthwith!
Victims without value, vacant of vitality, shall vanish.
Volunteer for vindication!
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Forest Fire Week!Uncyclopedia is currently under Martial Law. Cleanup is in progress for the week of
November 16th to
23rd.Administrators are under orders to delete any pages out after curfew or without passports. Editors beware!
This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.
In mid-2005, Satan had started to publicly question and denounce Tyson's recognition as the "Baddest Man on the Planet." When Tyson learned of this via an interview, Tyson grinned at the camera. Soon after this interview, Tyson challenged Satan to a professional boxing match in order to see "who the baddetht man of the planet really ith." Satan accepted and arranged for the fight to happen in Hell.
For Tyson this fight was for all the marbles: lose, and his soul would be damned to Hell; win, and his soul would be taken into the Kingdom of Heaven.(Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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*...that your fly is unzipped?
- ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
- ...that your fly is unzipped?
- ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
- ...that your fly is unzipped?
- ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
- ...that your fly is unzipped?
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In the news
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"It's for the children's own good!"
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On this day...
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August 2: Intentionally Give A Stranger Misleading Directions Day
- 456 - Maurading Mongol hoardes are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe.
- 1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggested that the stranger seek directions from his own mother.
- 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be" the series of events that followed causes the stock mareket crash and the great depression.
- 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia.
- 1939 - Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow invaded by accident.
- 1993 - The shocking discrepancy between men and woman drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels.
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