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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
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Vigilance shall be visited upon this vermin-filled vestige forthwith!
Victims without value, vacant of vitality, shall vanish.
Volunteer for vindication!
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Forest Fire Week!Uncyclopedia is currently under Martial Law. Cleanup is in progress for the week of
November 16th to
23rd.Administrators are under orders to delete any pages out after curfew or without passports. Editors beware!
This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.
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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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- ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
 - ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
- ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
- ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
- ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
- ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
- ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
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In the news
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
