User:MrN9000/TalkArchives18

You came out of hibernation

Hello again Pants man. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:31, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

Hea Frosty. MrN 06:33, Feb 3

Oh, also... {{Poopsmith}} apparently!

Boobs. 1234 ~ 06:34, 3 February 2012

It's true that they always point north. MrN 06:37, Feb 3

I officially don't exist. I'm also not here wishing you a Happy New February or anything. Who are you, anyway? --UU - natter 07:45, Feb 3

I noticed. Thank you and same to you and yours. I'm well. Better than I have been in a while actually. Even more so to notice that UU is um... Not here. Oh, did you notice that we are number 2 on google for "fish puns"? Well, where I'm doing my search anyway. Those guys at jimrothermel.com/FishJokesFish jokes somehow sneaked past us to top spot, but the guys at fishpuns.com must be smarting in third!

“This is seariously the best site ever! Not even squidding!”

~ www.fishpuns.com chaps

Amateurs. MrN 08:06, Feb 3

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh shit, look who's back (again) --Roman Dog Bird 08:37, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

Again... MrN 08:53, Feb 3

• Hey, welcome back MrN. -- The Zombiebaron 16:55, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

They always come back. In the end... MrN 18:45, Feb 3

Rewelcome!

Hey hello again Mr9000! Glad you're back! I heard you couldn't edit since you broke your 2 hands in that nasty lawn mower accident. Glad to see they grew back! :) Mattsnow 08:34, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

Hea Matt. Everything grows back again given enough time. Now I'm just trying to figure out where I left my chainsaw... MrN 08:37, Feb 3

You know, I used a chainsaw for eight months to cut wood for warming my house, and I never hurt myself. But after fifteen minutes using a rusty, dull handsaw to trim twigs from around the front yard, I cut my thumb halfway off. It's always the tools you wouldn't expect to hurt you that kill you.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Feb 3 '12 16:19 (UTC)

Also, welcome back. I thought I smelt something funny. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Feb 3 '12 16:19 (UTC)

Well spotted. MrN 18:45, Feb 3

Kilt

Fuck pants. Now go change that lightbulb over there. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:23, 4 February 2012

Allow me to illuminate you miss Dark. MrN 21:31, Feb 5

I have no idea if I ever gave you this or thanked you for the nom. TKF killed my Purple Nurples. I hate this place. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 03:01, 7 February 2012

I'm sure I would never forget. I'm also sure I tried to kill your purple nurples once myself... Anyway, no you don't hate this place, you are just bitter about your missing nurbles. In time you will learn to deal with the loss and you will be stronger afterwards. Don't think of them as missing nurbles, but more as nurbles which have become part of the great over nurble. I hope that clears things up for you. MrN 03:16, Feb 7

Not, really... What the hell are nurbles? xD ~Formerly Annoying Crap 03:38, 7 February 2012

A nurble is a nurple with an upside down p. I assumed that the purple ones normally were. MrN 03:46, Feb 7

Well, that certainly is making an ass of both u and Kermit. I am missing no nurbles, I assure you. Merely on a flight of fancy ;p ~Formerly Annoying Crap 04:09, 7 February 2012

Yeah

Glad you're back, mate! Good work on fixing up the FED UnNews. It amazing that the only place to get real news is a comedy site. Jeez--Funnybony    10:04, Feb 6

It's true. The only way a man can know the truth is to write it himself! MrN 10:10, Feb 6

I saw you

It made me happy. I am now happy. I have come here to express that I am happy. This is my happiness. I hope you are happy. Happy people make other people happy. I hope my happy is making you happy. Pup 12:34 06 Feb '12

Just try to keep it off the rug this time. I only had it washed again last week. Good to see that you are around also Puppy. MrN 12:38, Feb 6

"Oh boy, Ren! It's time to sing the Happy Happy Joy Joy Song! ♫Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy, Happy Happy Joy JOY, Happy Happy JOY! Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy JOY, Happy Happy JOY JOY, Happy Happy JOY!...♫" ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Feb 6 '12 12:43 (UTC)

Why would I mess up a rug when there are so many legs around? Some wearing pants. Pup 12:46 06 Feb '12

I remember you! Weren't you the guy who finally whooped Gomphog in a one-on-one? Yes! I do remember you. Welcome back (I was gone much of 2011, so my memories are as yet unclear). Aleister 12:52 6-2-'12

I certainly remember you, though I'm not sure about that other fellow. I recently noticed that you have been doing a few nice fixes to some articles with fix templates on them. Ahh.. Proper creative stuff... Maybe I should try some of that sometime! MrN 13:00, Feb 6

Jeez....they'll let anyone back in the place.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Jesus? Na, but I'm working on it. Hea, it's that guy who did stole my signature! I hope that you are well Sir Mhaille. MrN 13:56, Feb 6

Yo MrN! :) MadMax 23:56, February 6, 2012 (UTC)

Yo Max you road warrior you! MrN 00:02, Feb 7

huff

Yo, huff the article Billy Ocean too. It's the second article This guy created -- UserTalkContributions 03:32, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, you did it already, ok. -- UserTalkContributions 03:33, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

It's like we have a whole system for it or something. MrN 03:35, Feb 7

How do you add deletion tags or.....Some type of notice that'll let others know of a bad article inbound? -- UserTalkContributions 03:36, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Yo, another article right here. -- UserTalkContributions 03:46, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Hmm... Don't. Turn back now! Write something instead. Don't turn to the dark side of the huffer. Or... Go find out what VFD is as well as QVFD and ICU. I assume you have read BGBU and obviously HTBFANJS. Of course the link you really want is Uncyclopedia:Deletion Policy. But NOOOOOO! Don't! Go edit something and make it better! Welcome to Uncyclopedia. MrN 03:42, Feb 7

Wait a minute? Didn't you tell me to stop putting the {{Construction}} template on newly made articles? -- UserTalkContributions 03:53, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

No I asked you. MrN 03:57, Feb 7

Alright, but if I put the {{Construction}} template on an article, it which would imply other users not to put deletion tags on it thus, making it gradually become into a great example of Uncyclopedia's article standards. -- UserTalkContributions 04:03, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Except that's not what that's generally used for. It has more sophisticated uses, and it's to be used mostly by the user who creates the article. Dude... If you want to help and get involved you will need to read guidelines. We protect our knowledge from the lazy that way... I'm not going to spoon feed you. You must go read sir! See. I told you it was better to edit something. MrN 04:10, Feb 7

UN:BP ... MrN 04:16, Feb 7

Sure. The person who wrote the article is supposed to put the {{Construction}} template on the article but, I don't see why putting it is not helping though. Also, I've almost bout 140 red links in the past 4 hours. -- UserTalkContributions 04:21, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Depending on the situation/person and judgement an ICU is often more appropriate. It takes time to learn when to use what and how. MrN 04:27, Feb 7

I agree with MrN9000. Be the Writer of the Month, not the Huffer of the Month. Mattsnow 04:47, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

^ Putting, {{Construction}} templates isn't promoting of the deletion of articles. I understand that if you aren't the creator of the article you cannot put the {{Construction}} template. I think now an ICU is more appropriate to place on the article if, you aren't the creator now. -- UserTalkContributions 04:58, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Sometimes putting {{Construction}} or {{WIP}} onto a new article created by another user is more appropriate than ICU. It depends. What we actually need however is for people to go to Category:Articles to fix and start fixing. MrN 05:08, Feb 7

Writing is for people with talent. Something I for one, lack o_____O ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:56, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

You have a great talent, Frosty. This talent consist mainly of awesomeness and dedication. It is very rare. Mattsnow 06:35, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Where are you? for the love of sophia!

Don't leave me. I said I'd meet you halfway. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 09:05, 7 February 2012

What you were not there? I was. You got the right church right? Wait, who is this woman that I have just married then? Dammit. Not again! MrN 14:32, Feb 7

LOL, story of my life. Always a bridesmaid... ~Formerly Annoying Crap 14:54, 7 February 2012

You are probably not kissing enough frogs. MrN 15:23, Feb 7

Enough with the frogs already! Where is my fucking sparkly unicorn prince?!?!? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 23:39, 7 February 2012

I'm pretty sure we shot him. MrN 23:43, Feb 7

Then shoot me too. Nothing less will do. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 23:46, 7 February 2012

Obvious whoring

If I remember well, you're a little rebel like me. I finished a short UnNews that may interest your reading taste buds: UnNews:Mitt Romney tired of flip-flopping accusations; decides to undergo brain surgery to forget last 15 years No me want you to nom it, me want you to have fun if care read it. REVOLUTION! Mattsnow 14:47, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

There is nothing little about my rebel. Honest it's huge. Nice article. I would have done it in a little more of a formal style myself, but it's cool as it is. Ahh... That "el" ection thing which the Americans like to do. All I know is that Ron Paul can't win. That's what they told me anyway. Also, I have the contract to operate to voting machines this year. Which is nice. Now if you don't mind I'm going to nip off and print some money out of thin air and then lend it to people for interest. MrN 15:05, Feb 7

Diebold are keeping the secret; they just don't say who the FED elected yet. Gotta see who lies best! Feel free to add to the article, as it is a fire-and-forget thing. Wanna see a REAL VOTE COUNT? Be my guest. They must have been embarrassed to show that on live tv. Mattsnow 15:14, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

If Paul wins he will end the fed. I can't see them letting that happen. MrN 15:21, Feb 7

A lot of people have been shot for a lot less. If this doesn't blow your mind nothing will. I have goosebumps everytime I watch it. Mattsnow 15:25, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

I like these guys. They have a few videos. It's about enlightenment of people, not electing 1 person IMO. MrN 15:43, Feb 7

Wow, quite amazing! Weird Yankovich turned activist! I subscribed, thanks for making me discover this! 3M views.... There's hope for humanity! Mattsnow 16:11, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

I fear their mustaches are fake.... :) Mattsnow 16:13, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Don't start that conspiracy theory nonsense with me. Both of those moustaches are clearly shown on the birth certificates MrN 16:16, Feb 7.

Looks like Kenyan mustaches to me LMAO Mattsnow 16:19, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Na it's a Roman moustache. All roads lead there in the end you know. Most moustaches also do actually. MrN 16:25, Feb 7

Yo man

Try not to remove anything that isn't -3 from VFH until the Top 10 run is over. Just in case, y'know. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 16:55, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

It was on 10% health. It's cool. Put it back is ya like. MrN 17:02, Feb 7

Ah right. I did not realise that we were not removing anything during this period. Got ya now. My bad. MrN 17:15, Feb 7

Yeah the whole thing is froze like heron in your nose. But it's all good. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:25, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

UnNews:There's 'gay' and then there's 'Oscar de la Hoya gay' - an editorial by Bill O'Reilly

So cliche, it really sucks! Who dares make jokes on gays nowadays? Complete retards for sure! What a shame! Please destroy this article with EXTREME prejudice, it really isn't funny. REMOVE IT FROM VFH, IF YOU HAVE A HEART I should know, I wrote it. Please kill it. I ask for a soldier's death. Swift. Mattsnow 17:32, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Haha. Actually when an article is on VFH that's when we bastard admins make you sweat it out, and author requests are not accepted in the same way as normal. At least that's what some bastard admin once said to me when I asked exactly what you are asking. The bastard. MrNBastard9000 18:12, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Let it suffer a painful death then! Get the nails out... Waterboard this shit ... It's all good! Then a beheading in a move of fury! Wait! I'm sounding like a candidate to the Empire.... Mattsnow 19:03, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

MrN is a bad man

hey wtf buddy? why u delete my article twice lol? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Threesome12 (talk • contribs)

Hea Threesome12. Did you look at that link I gave you. THIS=UN:VAIN. Please check it out. Unfortunately I think your article is kinda... Your article. Anyway, I wanted to stop you now before you put any more effort into what you are doing there. Read it and see. You can however use that as your user page if you like. You just can't have it in the mainspace unless you can convince someone here that you pass UN:VAIN MrN 21:57, Feb 7

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! GO GET A LIFE AND DONT JERK OFF TO STAR WARS! U PIECE OF STINKING SHIT! U HOE! I HOPE UR MOOMA DELIVERED U THROUGH HER STINKCY ASS! U MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHH YEAH U CAN DELETE EVRYTHING U FUCKING WANT! BUT DONT FORGET TO DELETE YOURSELF FROM THIS WORLD! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHA – Preceding unsigned comment added by Threesome12 (talk • contribs)

Wait you can jerk off to star wars? Shit why did I never think of that before. MrN 22:07, Feb 7

Two words - Princess Leia. Pup 10:10 07 Feb '12

I was thinking more Yoda... -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:17, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Yoda has the force aplenty. Ummmmmmm, Yoda. Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) 22:18 7-2-'12 (a date that will never come again, until 2112)

Have you seen the size of his kundalini? MrN 22:33, Feb 7

I once jerked off to Star Wars. It resulted in a broken fridge, a broken TV , six wet pillows, and several calls from the neighbours. Oh yeah, and a fractured thumb. Best night ever. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 7 February 2012, at 22:49

A potential orgasm of galactic proportions.

My first ever. I shall never forget that fateful day. A Thursday I think it was. So there I was just thumbing through my... Wait! Where am I again? MrN 22:55, Feb 7

@Lollipop. Wow. INTENSITY! :P Mattsnow 00:15, February 8, 2012 (UTC)

Gandhiji

Ah, take a look at the main section you edited and see if it's okay. I put back the beginning stuff, as I'm enamored with the opening section, lights, and pic of Gandhiji emerging from the waters of the Ganges (hmmmm, that might be a better caption, and save the ocean stuff for later!). Let me know if I moved something you love and cherish (see photo above, which everyone loves and self-cherishes now and then. Aleister 23:31 7-2-'12

Over ere! I was doing one of my normal shoe horn jobs on what I thought was a page which did not have a lot of other interest. I'm not attached to any of the changes I made, so put it all back if you have a plan for it. MrN 23:35, Feb 7

Hello, MrNji. I put lots more in Gandhi, at least a little more (a new section on lust may purient interest you). Golem begone, and you were right about getting rid of it, thanks for pushing for his departure. Vedagitakrishna 19:38 9-2-'12

Cool. I noticed. ;) It's looking good now. I will chuck a few edits in myself later. MrN 19:41, Feb 9

Alright! Gandhiji. Dance, dance like you've never danced before! And I'll take a look later or the next day (Did you notice I nommed the little guy for VFH). I'm stuck in the midst of the Happy Monkey contest and am slowly turning gay. The price to pay for getting into character (which is one good reason to edit a few pages at once). Gleep. Aleister 00:54 12-2-'12

Hea man. Cool. I only made a few edits and just a few suggestions, so I would say this is your article (should it get FA) as I'm not sure I can claim half credit. You did LOADS more work on this than I did! Anyway, I made a few new edits, so revert them if you think they are not right. My only real issue was the bit which I said was a bit "ranty". Take another look and you will see what I mean... MrN 01:04, Feb 12

If it wins on VFH of course you get a half-credit thing, you shaped much of the page by writing, and moving things, and kicking my thing to get rid of the Lord of the Dance, ah, Rings, pic (have to still put that on the talk page though). If it loses on VFH you can continue with the charade that you only made a few edits. On half credits I've only taken ones I feel good about, and I hope you feel good on this one. If it's featured we, I, Jesus or someone should look back in the history and looked who shaped the page to a large degree before I started to tear it up, because some of the foundation, language and ideas were other people's and if it was mainly one other people then that one should share in the vainglory too. Whoever they turn out to be (except if it's Blackflamingo). And you've also pushed me to learn more about Gandhi too - I'll try to watch the movie again before the page lingers and see if there are any inaccuracies. Will look at your edits tomorrow, as now I'll put a few more gay minutes in on my gay page and then go do real life activities. Thanks agai'. Aleister 2:18 12-2-'12

Cool. If you think that's right... Yes, I'm pleased with how the article has turned out. I was only planning on sorting it out a bit, but it's awesome that you have gone on to make this a quality article now. Oh, I found this apparently someone liked the older version! MrN 13:51, Feb 12

I don't have flash hooked up this laptop, and should get to it. Some of the older version was good, and kept in the foundation - I just checked who resecued the page and it was Ryuken, who also floundered against the vandals and the illiterates on the talk page, so if by miracle this is featured he should probably get one of those half-credit things too. Enough editing for me for awhile, but I must come back to polish my Happy Monkey gay article, which has turned me gay and now I must go buy shoes. Aleister 14:00 12-2-'12

Thanks for all the spelling catches, Socky usually looks at what I think are well spelled pages and finds a hundred or so, like you did. I duh spell bad. Thanks! Aleister 23:22 12-2-'12

I have got me one of those new newfangled spell checker things. Trust me, without it I would embarrass myself a lot more on Uncyclopedia than I usually do. You are editing and spelling without one? Bloody heck! I use firefox with the ENGLISH version of the spell checker installed (as opposed to the American) which is tricky as I have to remember not to change all the spellings from American to English if the article is mostly written in American... Anyway, I would recommend it as it highlights all the possible speling erors in just about every place you want it to. Conclusion... It's all Socky's fault. MrN 23:46, Feb 12

UnSignpost - 10 February 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

February 10th, 2012 • Issue 157 • Ack! Ack! Ack!

Something happened this week. By RAHB Hello, Uncyclopedia. I don't think it's any secret to you all that something of utmost importance happened this previous week. Even with a coconut beer hangover, you'd surely be blind not to notice the far-reaching repercussions associated with this very important event that recently happened. Oh sure, I know there are those of you who believe that it really isn't all that big a deal. And there are those of you who will pretend to be aloof, and act like you know nothing about it. And, as always, there will be those of you who believe this is all simply a plot executed by the insidious Uncyclopedia Cabal (which does not exist) to try to crush the will of regular users, enhance power in the English quadrant, and advance their attempts at obtaining an M&Ms machine for the dump. We here at the UnSignpost would like to remind you that these claims are ridiculously unsubstantiated. Except, of course, for the bit about the M&Ms. In the coming days, the aftershock of these events will come to a screaming peak, as countless forum topics are created, talk-page flamewars are started, and before you know it we're experiencing a virtual Titus Andronicus effect being enacted upon our peaceful wiki. When asked for comment, Modusoperandi will say something unrelated, yet witty, and we'll all step back for a moment and realize what's happening to us. We will then continue on in our back-and-forth for an indeterminate amount of time, probably zombifying the topic several times over before it finally fizzes out later on down the line, then being re-awoken and used to adopt new site policy. This, in turn, will spawn a similarly detailed UnSignpost story, if we're still around by then. Personally I blame this all on the one who was holding the watermelon at the time. You know who you are. You disgust me. Shit Happens Editorial by a guy who has been exposed to shit for a long, long time Shit Happens all the time. Lets say ... you're drinking some kind of soda and it accidentally spills onto your shirt. Or you are biting on a burger when you accidentally choke to death but nobody cares. Or your penis falls off. Anyway, my point is, there are some negatives in life but you must learn to tolerate them .. especially when you're a fat ass who sits in your room spending your entire life consuming hotdogs and giggling at comedies on television while jacking off to classical fucks and trolling on the Internet which is absolutely, absolutely, NOT ME. So always be positive, even when your balls drop off. Or your penis. Or even your cat. Because as you know, the World isn't fair ever since some dick with an ass of a triangle set foot on this Earth. So get used to life, and if you can, get used to the dicks who banned your ass and spammed your page which is also, absolutely, absolutely, NOT ME. Oh, and always remember to stay on the bright side even if you are found lying naked with an underwear eight times the size of your penis and you get arrested, get thrown in jail, get beaten up by a kid who apparently isn't a kid and get castrated unintentionally while having a sandwich crammed down your throat trying to squat in a cell and you finally get out after 5 years only to get run down by an ass in a car and you get admitted to hospital but a doctor feeds you the wrong medicine and you rot away and die and you get dumped into the sewers. So remember kids ... always be posi-

Check out these pages! What? Yeah. Duh. Wow. Huh? From our logs: MrN9000 blocked 168.216.126.200 with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(You need to use the toilet) Lyrithya blocked Zana Dark with an expiry time of 13 seconds ‎(I'd never blocked you. I felt left out.) Romartus blocked 86.12.164.5 with an expiry time of 6 months ‎(You have form sir. Six months living on moths for you.) RAHB changed block settings for Pisippo with an expiry time of infinite (Wonderful way to respond to a one-hour ban. I salute your arrogance.) RAHB blocked 86.186.208.180 with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Yes, hello. Stop creating utter shite, please. Thanks.) MrN9000 blocked Eddie1334 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Although what you say may be true, you still get banned. Surprisingly.) Slime mold of the week: Stemonitis sp. Questions of the Week Q: Am I supposed to be in here? User: Haydrahlienne A: Yes, you can be in here as long as you want. Just don't touch the monkey. Or the cheese. And don't eat the last biscuit. Also avoid upsetting our editor as he has a temper and a shotgun under his desk....Actually, you should just go. Q: Have you answered all of the questions on this page? User:RAHB A: We don't know, why don't you tell us? (A paradox for a paradox. Ball is in your court RAHB) Custom box #4 of the Week Custom box #4 is quite the Custom box #4. In fact, not only has it been named Custom box #4 of the Week, but it's expected to be high in the running for Custom box #4 of the Year, if the other custom boxes start pulling their weight. Whatever the case may be, individual awards aside, there's not a doubt in any Custom box #4 enthusiast's mind that when, one day, Custom box #4 walks down the long and distinguished path of retirement, it'll be immediately greeted by the opening of the gate to the coveted Custom box #4 Hall Of Fame.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 10:23, 10 February 2012

You

Sometimes put people into odd positions.

Thank you for that. 1234 ~ 01:15, 13 February 2012

Yes, very odd positions. I once saw him put this bird's left ankle up over her right ear, and put her right ankle behind her left shoulder. He was very proud. Said the only person he'd ever seen do it before was a guru from Punjab, and even that bloke cheated a bit, by employing a hacksaw.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Feb 13 '12 3:55 (UTC)

I'm not sure using a hacksaw was against the rules, but that bloke did also use laxatives and that definitely is cheating. MrN 11:06, Feb 13

Hey bro

When did I ask you to delete my UnNews? I don't understand, I've been rather sober as of late and don't remember asking that, I remember asking the removal of another one from VFH, but not huffing it... Please bring it back! Also, amazing news piece on vote fraud in Maine! Mattsnow 20:33, February 15, 2012 (UTC)

Oh I get it lol. I was asking for it to be removed from vfh, but it sounds like I asks for its huffing. My bad. Please bring it back :P Mattsnow 20:35, February 15, 2012 (UTC)

“Please destroy this article with EXTREME prejudice, it really isn't funny. REMOVE IT FROM VFH, IF YOU HAVE A HEART I should know, I wrote it. Please kill it. I ask for a soldier's death. Swift. ”

~ Mattsnow 17:32, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Haha. Sure. MrN 20:37, Feb 15

Yeah lol just read it too... Mattsnow 20:40, February 15, 2012 (UTC)

Question

What exactly do you mean more sig and less pic? Did I forget to my post?---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 04:13, February 16, 2012 (UTC)

You forgot to put your sig that's all. It's cool. Normally I would not make a fuss, but on VFD I don't like to see {{unsigned}} used so I removed your whole vote. I'm also not a real fan of pics on VFD as they make a mess of the voting area, but if they are cool (like the one you used) it's ok so long as you scale the picture down so that it's no bigger than the normal voting icons. Or maybe a bit bigger if it's really funny. ;) Have fun. Oh... Awesome to see ya around again dude!!! MrN 04:17, Feb 16

Thanks man, awesome to be back. :) And should I keep the image as it is or scale it down some?---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 04:35, February 16, 2012 (UTC)

You could get away with I'm sure, but well, we got to draw lines somewhere...

---

See?

Anyway, it's all good. I'm not really that bothered, just trying to keep things a bit tidy. I would not have commented had you not missed your sig, but as you have it's nice to chat. MrN 04:44, Feb 16

WotM

I logged on when I thought of checking to see if you've won WotM yet, and, ah, no. This WTF atrocity must not stand. The website, which I can see in the distance, is hanging its head in shame (well, it has been doing that since 2005, but now it has a purpose). I didn't nom you as there are lots of noms, but I mentioned this lapse in judgement in the Jocke Pirot nom. There is no excuse, except that the dog ate my homework, which always works. Now I will sign off again. Aleister 5:09

Ahhhh. The one "big one" which eludes me. Unfortunately I'm more of a hacker, a cutter and a paster than a writer. My mission currently on uncyc is to try to get some of our "vital" or whatever articles sorted. Well, get those ones which are about to be huffed fixed anyway... Not sure I can be coming up with too many new pieces while I'm doing that so... Thank you for the thought. :) MrN 05:25, Feb 16

Ah, more than a thought maestro, as this injustice must not stand. Not this month though, but within the fortnight. Or is there an "h" in there. Gandhi looks in good shape now, and I just saw that Mattsnow has my Gandhi unnews as his lead in the current events section. No wonder a couple people have commented on it. Gandhiji must come back to lead his people to wherever has the most dal. Al 18:24 16-2-'12

I always wondered who would win in a fight between the Dalai Lama and Gandhiji. I mean Gandhiji has got him on reach, but I would say that the Lama is overall a more powerful and tenacious worker in the ring. MrN 18:32, Feb 16

Gandhi would throw sand in Dalai Lama's eyes. On a serious note (C-minor), the thing I understand about Gandhi is that he always insisted he was doing nothing special, that anyone could practice nonviolence on issues of the day and, if one person in a particular movement wouldn't compromise, it would eventually succeed. So he was at wits end when the holy man stuff started up and people put him on a pedestal (like the unrinal he sits on in London). Somewhere he said that the black guys in the US would succeed and advance the nonviolent tech because they had a constitution which would work with them. I'd still pay to watch that fight though. Aleister 18:39 16-2-'12

"if one person in a particular movement wouldn't compromise, it would eventually succeed." Unless they get killed! Also, I think the great leaders have been those who have been able to spread their message to enough others. Before they get killed... MrN 19:05, Feb 16

True, but Gandhi did very well, and lived past his successes. In other movements, it was unless nobody cares or knows about them. That's one of the roles James Bevel took on in the U.S. movement, on purpose, and when King and others wanted to change strategy he just talked them down or ignored them, and kept on doing what he was doing. They should put him on a stamp, or at least a urinal like Gandhi got. Al 19:10 16-2-'12

UnSignpost - 18 February 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

February 18th, 2012 • Issue 158 • This is the place to be for the end of the world show.

Important competition news By The Cabal (which doesn't exist) As you all are no doubt aware due to paying the utmost attention to that which goes on around you, there was a competition this week, or possibly last week, or at very least, at some point relatively recently. This competition was the 2012 Happy Monkey Competition, in which various contestants competed to do something possibly monkey-related. According to the sitenotice, it is wrapping up around now, waiting only for the judges to show up and do their damn jobs, or, as the case may be, leave already so the janitor can clean up; it's not the competition hosts' fault you're homeless, and it's not their job to provide you with shelter past the allotted judging hours. What the rest of you may be less aware of, however, is certain controversy that has inevitably sprung up about this contest. Allegations of unfairness in proctoring and judging and a general lack of effective organisation and topics have no doubt sprung up, as they invariably do with every competition. Complications have also indubitably arisen from the tendencies of certain individuals to simply do things without asking, and of others to ask first and then ignore the responses. Rest assured, for the cabal is watching, and all who disturb the order of things will be dealt with accordingly. MOAR PENIS By RAHB Penisman has been sorely under-utilized as of late. In fact, he's been sorely under-utilized as of recent, and sorely under-utilized as of the past while as well. I just have one thing to say about this... Prepare for World Domination By Oliphaunte After a pro-longed session of drinking high-quality whiskey and smoking imported Cuban cigars, the fate of the world was finally decided between the Oli brothers. The western world, under the dominion of the English Empire and her colonies, would come under the complete control of King Olipro, while the eastern world consisting of the USSR and the powerful nation of Monaco would come under the control of Head Commissioner Oliphaunte. The two leaders would then combine their powerful empires into one global superpower and conquer all the little nations with their armies of pirate robots and Flying undead pilots. After which, a spaceship made completely out of cotton balls and masking tape would be launched to conquer Mars, Saturn, Venus, Uranus, and Neptune. Not Pluto, though, because that's no longer a planet. Instead, the two Olies will construct a replica Star Wars deathstar, which will be painted completely blue to avoid copyright infringement with Lucasarts (George Lucas now owns nuclear devices and becomes unstable when his trademarks are re-created without permission), and will use it to blow up Pluto for the hell of it. The planets will then be under the jurisdiction of the top friends of the two Olies. Saturn will go to Zombiebaron, Mars will go to Lyrithya, Neptune will go to Black flamingo11, Venus will go to Dr. Skullthumper and Uranus will go to Mattsnow simply because he wouldn't stop laughing when we told him Uranus was conquered. Now that the plan and been decided and the gears are in motion, it's only a matter of time before the entire world is conquered by Uncyclopedia, and everyone will be forced to contribute at least one article everyday about how great their overlords, Oliphaunte, Olipro, and friends, truly are! Mwhahahahahahha. Ha? It was then that Oliphaunte woke up in a back alley somewhere in Atlantic City with a dozen empty bottles of whiskey, a bag a hemp, and a calling card for male prostitutes. There was also a note next to him that read, "You got drunk and threw up on my living room rug, so I flew you to Atlantic city, beat you up, and left you with a bunch of male hookers. Also, stole you Hageen-Daaz from the freezer. -Love, Olipro." Oliphaunte then realized that the plan for world domination was just a dream...Oh well, at least he has rollbacks now.

Check out these pages! Potatochopping. Who are you? WHAT THE FUCK! New Award of the Month. From our logs: Sockpuppet of an unregistered user blocked 90.217.205.53 with an expiry time of 2 hours (You're so hilarious I have to ban you for two hours.) Thekillerfroggy blocked Buffsfootball6 with an expiry time of 2 weeks (all due respect (none), but my fat friend is like twice as fat probably) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 142.227.189.60 with an expiry time of 3 Days (Inserting Vanity: and generally failing to cause me to laugh uproariously. ) Roman Dog Bird blocked 218.185.79.222 with an expiry time of 1 week (My dog could kick your ass and he's small.) Excuse of the Week Hi, it's Lyrithya. Sorry for not being around much; I got the bright idea to reinstall the operating systems on my laptops on Monday and that kind of killed all my spare time since. Well, that and the beading. Also got the bright idea on Wednesday to buy a whack-load of beads and try to turn them into jewellery. To that end, so far I've only managed to chemically melt some peacock feathers together, but I have high hopes for the rest of it. And on the plus side, KDE works. Sort of. It's kind of slow. On Windows, at least. Anyway, if anyone was wondering, this would probably be why nobody remembered to write the UnSignpost for this week until now. Other Excuse of the Week Hi, it's RAHB. Sorry for the UnSignpost being late, but my hard drive blew up this week. And then other stuff happened. This would probably be why I didn't remind anybody to write the UnSignpost for this week. A Word From Zombiebaron Nothing notable happened to my computer this week, and, therefore, I don't really have an excuse for this week's late UnSignpost. Well Hello. My Name is Oliphaunte And I now have rollbacks. What's your user protection level? None? Well, that must suck for you. I wouldn't know cause, well, I've got rollbacks. You know that ludacris song "Rollout"? Yea, that's essentially my life right now, but with rollbacks. You know what that makes me feel like? A badass. Why am I a badass? Because I've got rollbacks. My name is Oliphaunte and I approve this rollbacked message.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:55, 18 February 2012

No new feature for three days now

Hello. Nobody is putting up anything on the feature quel, could you maybe toss those up or find someone to do so? Puppy has been waiting for days, and then I have one not far behind. If you put the que up you can throw caution to the wind and kick Mohandas Gandhi to the top of the list. Well, maybe not, but the empty spaces are lingering. Thanks. Aleister 00:22 22-2-'12

Well, it's been bloody ages since I have done that! I wonder if the site still works... MrN 00:41, Feb 22

Practice makes perfect for quite a mess. Aleister 00:53 22-2-'12

Fixes on VFD

Arguably the things shouldn't be listed there at all, since the page is for votes; the related deletion pages are linked. But since fixes are somewhat relevant in that people fix stuff on VFD as well as stuff marked for fixing, having it in such a way as they can see some of the older ones shouldn't hurt anything. Listing thirty of them, however, is very... large. We don't allow thirty VFD articles on the page; why should thirty fixes be allowed?

Anyway, there's a link to the rest of them for a reason. Having a few of them there for awareness is probably a good thing, but it doesn't need to be so many, especially since no sample could be representative. Folks tend to go about tagging in batches, see. Large batches. Tag twenty new in an hour or so, delete fifty expired in the next hour, that kind of thing. 1234 ~ 18:00, 22 February 2012

Lots of users are aware of VFD, but are not aware of UN:FIX. That's bad, and needs to change... Having these pages linked on VFD will help raise awareness of UN:FIX very effectively . Having just a link to the page will not have anything like the same effect as people will not notice it, and if it's another click they will probably not go anyway. You spoke about samples... The sample I'm interested in is the ones which are about to be deleted. There needs to be enough there so that people can see which pages are likely to be deleted in the next few days to give them a chance to fix them if they wish. Sometimes we have 20 or more pending to be deleted, all on the same day. I want users to be able to look back a little further to see what's coming, rather than just trying to fire fight pages which admins may have already deleted, or are about to delete.

Here is what I don't understand... "Listing thirty of them, however, is very... large. We don't allow thirty VFD articles on the page; why should thirty fixes be allowed? " You don't say why it's large, and why they should not be allowed. The 20 limit is for votes to delete articles, and is totally different from listing pages which anyone can edit and fix. Sorry Lyrithya I just don't understand what you are saying, what is the problem with more? MrN 18:41, Feb 22

Also... Having just noticed it was still as I left it I was expecting a bit more haggling!  :-( MrN 18:46, Feb 22

There are usually between 1 and 70 articles to be fixed facing deletion at any given time, usually with the number around 50, in my experience; there is simply no way to list all of them. I appreciate your sentiment regarding how important it is that people actually have a chance to fix things, but VFD is just not the place for that, at very least not for so many, and to that end I'm writing up a proper Uncyclopedia:Articles to fix page as we speak-type-glarble.

By large, I mean the size of it on the page, and since it's a relatively unrelated thing between two related things (current votes and archived votes), having something so massive there is somewhat disruptive, like having an article about cheese have a section about wine between two sections about kinds of cheeses. And your... solution, shall we say, also only made it larger on my screen, as well as decidedly hard to read, since three six columns just plain doesn't fit on smaller screens.

In short, I suppose what I'm saying is it's too much in the wrong place. 1234 ~ 20:13, 22 February 2012

I don't see how it's disruptive. Disruptive to what and in what way? When Puppy first added this to the page I thought it was great idea and I still do now. I figured you did not like the amount of vertical size it was taking up, so I formatted it a bit differently. Is it better now? MrN 20:22, Feb 22

Not only is it not disruptive in any way, it has resulted in fixes. If the object of a Fix tag is to kill an article, rename the tag. As for "no way to list all of them" that's easily solved: list all of them. And how about linking to the Fix page on the navigation bar as well, maybe under Vote for Pictures, so when people (me at least) look at each page we won't have to use the backspace over and over and over and over and over. Aleister 20:24 22-2-'12

Listing them all would be bit silly, but I'm happy with whatever number means that there are usually a good few days left on them before they are huffed. Good luck with the nav bar Alex ;) My idea at the moment is to have a rotating list of 3 articles which are considered "most important" to fix, but hea... I think I will go edit an article, instead... :-) MrN 20:40, Feb 22

I don't mean all of them with tags, but the 50 or so number Lyrithya mentioned. No reason not to list all of those, with a link on the page to the complete Fix list as well. The navigation bar listing seems easy, and will make it easier to see what people are placing on the page and then looking at each article in turn. Fixing is feasible if people can find them, and the bottom of the VFD page is a good place to look because these have been one-person VFD's of late (maybe for years?). And many pages seem to be incorrectly tagged with fix tags (too quick on the tagging, not looking at the history to see if the page is a vandalization of the article, etc.), so access to those should be as easy as possible. Now I need a fix. Aleister 20:48 22-2-'12

Na 50 would be too many. So long as there are a few days worth then people get a chance to spot the ones they might want to fix before they go. I'm hoping Lyrithya is happy with it now the formatting is changed to make it take up less vertical space. MrN 20:52, Feb 22

Maybe a few more than you have? I think all of those up there are past due already, and can be huffed at any moment. We should have, like you say, a list of pages a few days ahead of the huff date, which may bring it well over 50, but the space at the bottom of vfd is just space. The final frontier (too lame even for me). Thanks for doing all of this! Aleister 20:56 22-2-'12

Mooooooooore!!!!. Na. Quit while you are (almost) ahead. scientology is the most vital article which is about to go soon, but I have had a quick look through the history, and I'm not sure I can do a lot with it... MrN 21:08, Feb 22

Why would 50 be too many? Ten is a fine number for awareness, although really a link at the top of the page should be more than enough, but if you want to go all-out, perhaps fifty would be a fine number; just don't put them in three columns. And as I said, putting them in three columns doesn't actually fit on the page on smaller screens, and while having a mass of fix list is disruptive to VFD the same way as putting seven large templates at the top of a random article is disruptive to the article, I suppose you really might as well. Not like anyone ever needs to look at the archives, or cares that they're there.

Aleister, there will be a link on the sidebar as well, at least until TKF removes it. 1234 ~ 21:28, 22 February 2012

Oh, and if an article is on a vital topic, please categorise it as such. Those aren't listed on the maintenance pages any more than features are, for vaguely similar reasons I can't remember, but I'm sure it made sense at the time. 1234 ~ 21:30, 22 February 2012

Looks fine on 1024. Like I was kinda saying, so long as there are a few days worth then people get a chance to spot the ones they might want to fix before they go. 50 would be a lot more than what would be needed to make that happen. 30 looks about right to me. Sorry if you missed my comment in the edit summary, I found yours in the history when I looked back to see how you had changed what I had done to Puppys stuff... MrN 22:02, Feb 22

I made some edits to the formatting and it shouldn't look too weird now on small screens. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:38, 22 February 2012

Trouble maker! MrN 23:10, Feb 22

If you want to have a few days' worth, then it needs at least 50. Blame Zombiebaron. 1234 ~ 23:47, 22 February 2012

Also, now it looks bad regardless of resolution. Very nice. 1234 ~ 23:53, 22 February 2012

Maybe the rule should be several days worth and not a set number. Every page on the list right now is huffable today, and may be gone by the time we look at it. How about three days out from the present data? Aleister 3:34 23-2-'12

Agreed, but It's not normally like it is now. In a few days time it will look very different. Agreed, that's not ideal. What code would we need to get X number of days? If we are still doing this using a fixed number, people appear to be suggesting that 30 is not enough, and if we need more we need more. I'm sure I had it at 40 before at one point... I'm inclined to leave it as it is for a bit, and let people get used to the idea before changing too much more at the moment... MrN 03:46, Feb 23

I was thinking earlier today I'm surprised no-one ha objected to the way I added that to VFD. I really should have visited here earlier. Pup 10:52 23 Feb '12

UnSignpost - 23 February 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now with 20% more ninjas!

February 23rd, 2012 • Issue 159 • FUS RO Journalism!

Softly softly, happy Monkey By Chief Now we here at the UnSignpost would be the first to admit that our coverage of the Happy Monkey Competition has amounted to less than the laser show of words that you were probably expecting. It is a sincere regret of the UnSignpost that it has been unable to provide any sort of meaningful coverage of a competition which describes itself as 'pure awesomeness' on its signup page. The competition successfully concluded this week and Aleister in Chains was declared the overall winner. We were privileged not to catch up with Aleister regarding this, and you shouldn't consider it either. In second and third were ICameHereInACloche and Xamralco, who lost slightly less than everyone else. For those who don't know how the scores for the Happy Monkey competition are calculated, it is by a simple process of getting the judges to rate an article out of ten in a table, much like this one, adding all their scores up, then throwing them in the bin and letting Shabidoo decide who the winner should be. The UnSignpost is very impressed with Shabidoo's ingenuity in overruling the opinions of his peers and stomping on the faces of his enemies. Those who enjoyed the Happy Monkey should take note of Shabidoo's next competition which he calls "Forced labour in a Salt Mine, while I eat grapes and sit on a deck chair". The competition has furnished Uncyclopedia with sixteen new articles. A splendid achievement; asked just how he had done this by Mattsnow, Shabidoo replied: "Raisins! Never underestimate the alure of raisins!". The UnSignpost fervently hopes that Dr. Skullthumper is still reading the UnSignpost so that he can take this knowledge and use it to save us from ourselves, a task he accomplishes at present by lurking on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel and successfully saying the word 'penis' more than anyone else. For the fans of long unbroken blocks of text among you, this week saw the arrival of this forum in which Thekillerfroggy sets out his agenda to sell Uncyclopedia to "the man" piece by piece. He also thinks that we should bring back cash prizes, introduce a daily editing charge and require that an article can only be featured on the front page if it also attempts to sell the reader discount Viagra. Finally an administrator who isn't afraid to say what we're all thinking: "When am I ever going to get some sort of financial return for editing this humour wiki?". The last word this week goes to Modusoperandi who asks: "Is there code to keep the ads and hide the pages?". The Forum By Chief TheHappySpaceman just can't wait for April Fools day. He's so desperately excited that he has started a forum in which we can all plot and scheme about just how we will take in the entire world this April 1st. ICameHereInACloche wasted no time in suggesting that we make Uncyclopedia good for April fools day and was, quite rightly, kicked down a flight of steps by Olipro, who pointed out that it's April fools day and not Christmas. The discussion is needless anyway since I have already decided that we should do absolutely nothing for April Fools day. Except, and here's the catch and the really clever bit, we make it look like we have. We'll all sit on IRC going "Lol" at all the plebs who arrive on the website going "OMG WHAT'S CHANGED???". Shabidoo wants to know what your name is! It's not creepy at all! There's a lot of discussion going on regarding huffing! No need to read any of it, just remember that you should FIX IT, DON'T {{FIX}} IT. Administrators take note, or PuppyOnTheRadio will come to your talk page and make you feel very bad indeed. The bad news is that BHOP still exists and TheHappySpaceman is using it to plug his very own award. He could least haven chosen something that Aleister might not win every month. In conclusion: don't go to BHOP. It's not nice there.

Check out these pages! Who knows? Who agrees? Who knew? Who dunnit? Who cares? From our logs: 15:54, February 22, 2012 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Right that's it. You are totally banned, and your services are no longer required on Uncyclopedia. (For the next 5 mins). 07:15, February 22, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Roman Dog Bird's anal leakage (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Why don't we ever get any pleasant vandal usernames? Like "Roman dog bird's lovely petunias" or something.) 07:20, February 22, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Roman dog bird's lovely petunias (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Thank you.) 02:52, February 20, 2012 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Sergeant Stud Krug Againist Vandalz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Thanks for fighting against Vandalz, here is an early retirement) 23:06, February 18, 2012 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1234 seconds ‎ (For putting Penisman into the UnSignpost. MY EYES!) Biopic of the Week Just what is a "Cloche" and how does one come here in one? This question has troubled me ever since I decided that I must biopic ICameHereInACloche. It turns out that a Cloche could be many things. It could be the French word for Bell, but how on earth would this humorous fellow have reached the shores of Uncyclopedia in a bell unless the bell were pushed down a steep hill? A cloche can also be a horticultural tool for covering up vegetables, but it very notably does not come second in the Happy Monkey competition, nor could one get anywhere if one were covering up vegetables. Perhaps this writer of legend came here as part of the classical ballet movement: battement en cloche? It would explain all the dancing. The cold hard truth of the matter is that we don't know what a cloche might be, but we know that this user has come in one, but not in that way. All those who haven't should read this splendid article and perhaps his userpage if they have an abundance of free time. Readers are also discouraged from sending us examples of the things they have come in; we were almost killed by the last one. A message from Under user Now that I don't ban people, I don't get in the signpost much. solution: more people need to ban me. with good, funny, creative reasons. it's not much to ask, huh? BAN UNDER USER! Newsroom UnTune of the Week Stalker

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:46, 23 February 2012

A ha!

As I said in an edit summary of Boone's Farm, "well well well well well". It turns out that what may be flacks for the company have been editing the page as IP's for years, keeping it positive and promoting their product. Why? I wondered. Aha! Google or Bing "Boone's Farm" and the answer is there, our article is the third or fourth item listed. Well well well well well. I must tell Puppy. Oh, by the way, can you maybe semi-protect Boone's Farm, so the flacks will have to come around with a user name? Thanks. The last time I caught a bot or an ad guy putting their stuff on here was a guy from Rolex, and I got so into it the page was featured! This one may be another potential feature, but with lots of people joining in the fun? Hmmmmmmm. Al 3:57 23-2-'12

(Protection log); 03:54 . . MrN9000 (Talk | contribs | block) protected "Boone's Farm" [edit=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) 
[move=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) (Uncyclopedia is not your mums Wikipedia.)

....

(diff | hist) . . User talk:MrN9000‎; 03:57 . . (+811) . . Aleister in Chains (Talk | contribs | block) 
(→UnSignpost - 23 February 2012: ) [rollback]

-) MrN 04:03, Feb 23

Illiterate minds think alike! Next stop, feature. It will have to be a lot better though, I just took out their advertising material and link to their "fan club" (yeah, like an independent group is going to organize a fan club for this fish water. Ah, there's a start of a line to use. But not much more today, something else is afoot. Aleister 4:07 23-2-'12

Cheap SEO stuff. We pop up enough on google analytical that links from our pages increase traffic to their site(s). If they have a forum that we can edit I'd love to jump in there and start making comments linking back to us. Pup 04:45 23 Feb '12

I've been meaning to research this: how do you pimp a page enough to drive it up the google search list? Is there a primer somewhere, or is it as easy as linking it to forums and things. I'm trying to get drunk on Boone's Farm, but have just managed to get sticky sugar waterall over the floor. Aleister 11:01 23-2-'12

It's both complicated and simple at the same time. Having your page linked via other pages helps. Search bombs used to, but not as much any more (a script that consistently searches via google, and then finds your page, and then clicks on your link). Having it mentioned in reputable sites is good (which is often those ending in .org). Getting it mentioned on blogging sites and via twitter/Facebook type of things. The truth is that google don't give away all the secrets to how their matrices work, and SEO companies charge an arm and a leg to try and manipulate these matrices, so they are constantly changing. (For a good example of what search bombs can do, google "find chuck Norris" or "worst band in the world".) Pup 12:13 23 Feb '12

Damn! They fixed "Worst band in the world." Pup 12:16 23 Feb '12

What did it used to be? Thanks for the tutorial. Do you mean linked on this site or only on other sites? That's interesting about the .org. Boone's Farm can be pumped up, and I noticed that when James Bevel is checked on Bing using both his name and uncyclopedia, a direct link to the page isn't listed (although it comes up on the second page of a search for "James Bevel"). Ah, the search engines change their criteria for making their lists. How fair is that? Does featuring a page here make it more likely to be moved up on the lists (Mohandas Gandhi, although our page will be very low on the totem pole, might it move up a few slots from being featured?). Questions, got a million of them. Oh, and someone took away the Fix list on VFD. There is now no easy to find link to it for the general user. Aleister 12:26 23-2-'12

Gandhiji

I just did an edit and writing sweep of each section of Mr. Gandhi in low hopes of improving it. Only ten votes on VFH for a page named Mohandas Gandhi is a shame and an epic failure, so far. Gandhiji for Ram's sake. So if an edit sweep helps to get two more votes, then it will be a grand success and 'ji's ashes will have stirred for the better. Please take a look and see if you approve or hate hat the changes. I watched most of the Gandhi movie earlier, and my edits come partly from that inspiration. Aleister 23:10 24-2-'12

UnSignpost - 1 March 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

March 1, 2012 • Issue 160 • You are all about to die.

Nothing. By Magic man So I got up this morning, ate some breakfast and watched some television, ya know, just normal morning stuff. Then I decided it was time for me to check Uncyclopedia, as I do every day. So I walk over to my computer, turn on the screen and bring up Safari. I go to Uncyclopedia, log in and what do I see? Oh, I'll tell you what I saw. This thing that I saw was so terrible, I almost died. What I saw was... NOTHING. C'mon, guys, can't you do anything? Start a competition, a new exciting forum, even drama! Anything! I mean, I can't be expected to entertain myself, can I? And to any of you smart-asses out there who tell me that nothing is something in and of itself, shut up and go fall in a hole full of pointy objects; you know what that would be helping by telling me that? Take a guess. News? By Drunk editorial staff For those with eyes in their brains and mugs in their ale, it should be clear that all manner of very important things have been occurring in the news. Or is this the news? Well, you get the idea. Apparently Uncyclopedians, Shabidoo in particular, think there is something wrong with the site. While this is indoubti-bi-tubby the case, a more pressing concern we must bring up is this: has there ever been anything right with the site? Today the scare involves NotM, a highly prestigious award won by all the people who aren't here right now, and how it creates problems in regards to new editor retention, despite the minor issue that we would have to have new editors in the first place in order to retain any of them. Another scare involves the complete lack of sufficient delete votes on VFD, along with the fact that Sycamore wants to decrease the maximum number of active votes there to 14 when 15 would in fact be a much more round number, and to decrease the score required to delete things from 5 to 4, when 5 is also a much more round number. We suspect Sycamore just has something against round numbers, probably due to some childhood trauma or something, unless it turns out that these are the wrong notes and it was someone else who wanted to do all that. Everything's so blurry. In other news, Wikia broke the site again, our illustrious admins keep forgetting to update the feature queue, VFP is lacking an appropriate number of votes, containing only the nominations of three images by Zombiebaron, who demands that more people vote for them because pi is awesome, and Uncyclopedia needs more sharons. And I really need to lie down. Profit! By a representative of Murdoch press Profit! A word that has dogged Uncyclopedia, most especially those pages doomed to huffing, for years. A concept that we, as a community, have overlooked in our time, and need to bring the focus back to.  A user has recently pointed out that as a community, we are forgetting this one fundamental principle. Our growth - nay, our very survival - depends on this principle. We need to become part of the corporate machine to further our plans of world domination. To do this, we may need to advertise, and to pay for quality submissions. Now many of you may be afraid of this. Change can be frightening, and after all, our last venture into the world of capitalism has left us falling short of the desired funds to purchase the Ferrari promote the site in the manner we were hoping for.  The point is, ladies and gentleman, that profit, for lack of a better word, is good. Profit is right, profit works. Profit clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Profit, in all of its forms; profit for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And profit, you mark my words, will not only save Uncyclopedia, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much. Editor's note: This is most certainly not a veiled attempt by the resident money launderers to give them something to launder. The people want this. They already have a number of ideas relating to the promotion and growth of the site, and want your feedback so they can have feedback! Yes!

Check out these pages! Money? Normal? Possible? Sensible? Eh? From our logs: Romartus blocked GarethPW with an expiry time of infinite (Block test (no cause for alarm yet)) Sockpuppet of an unregistered user blocked 69.34.161.38 with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Try to be more original next time. Cocks and anuses are so cliché.) RAHB blocked Ormiston College with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And the worst user account in the world.) Tom mayfair blocked Wikipedialyte with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Inserting true information) RAHB blocked 115.124.0.68 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't be a tit, please.) Sockpuppet of an unregistered user blocked 194.83.172.186 with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Could you come back a year from now and tell me if your IP is static? Then I can ban you for infinity next time.) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 58.170.123.142 with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (Blanker. Now, because of you, a block that could have been used on a starving African child is being wasted. For shame.) Biopic of the Week This week's user's name raises many questions. Is a Vodkelpplant‎‎ a plant that grows Vodkelps? If so, what's a Vodkelp? Could he possibly have meant a Vodka Plant? If so, does he man a plant that grows Vodka, or a plant that makes Vodka? How many questions does his user name actually create? Why am I still talking like this? And most importantly, who killed Tupac? Anyway, while this guy hasn't posted on any talkpage, he's created a deluge of Undictionary entries. It's pretty hard to grasp how many he's actually made. Seriously, he can't be silenced! I mean, what an Imagination! If you think by 'a lot' I mean one, three, four, five, six or even forty, you're wrong; he's made many more than that. In fact, I think I'd even call him the titan of Undictionary entries. Alright, that's enough of that joke. But really, he's pretty cool. Go say hi on his talkpage, maybe his response to you will be the first time he ever posts on a talk page. That would be a reason to have a party. No, really, I'm done now. Newsroom UnTune of the Week Death Blood Kill Dude... Where'd my bottle go? Did someone steal my bottle? Oh, you... asscracks.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:24, 1 March 2012

You took off again...

...so I thought I'd drop this off. Feature! You know, you don't have to get involved in the work details here, you can just ignore lots of the stuff and write and play. Please come back, or not. But at least we always had Gandhi. Aleister 10:42 5-3-'12

Featured Article: Mohandas Gandhi

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

Thanks dude.  :) BTW... IMO you and puppy are both doing awesome stuff at the moment around the wiki. :-) MrN 10:57, Mar 5

I thought you were gone when I dropped off the template, and then when I looked at recent changes after some edits, there you were! Thanks, but the best thing I've done here lately is leave Puppy a huge sun and template on his talk page and he thought Socky did it, and he zapped Socky on his talk page. Good times. Aleister 11:08 5-3-'12

HowTo:Get a suntan made me giggle. MrN 11:15, Mar 5

Socky deserved it too. But yes, I will be avenged. Pup 12:09 05 Mar '12

Damn, can't escape prying eyes around here. I owe Horace a revenge too (I either nommed him or voted for him for NotM), best served cold. Aleister 12:18 5-3-'12

Cricket

I think even Americans will understand this but...Maidens (and Maiden Over) may need a paragraph. Perhaps even 'Maidenhead', another of England's obscene locations (see Penistone and Piddle). I have a couple of ideas but don't want to break the flow on this article. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:49, March 5, 2012 (UTC)

Ahh... Maidens from Maidenhead. Sir... She is all yours. I'm running low on ideas, and really just wanted to get it to a point where it was respectable. If you fancy editing it more I will leave it alone now and maybe take a look back later when you have had your wicked way with it. :-) MrN 18:53, Mar 5

I added a few odds and ends on the article. I hope that makes the sport of cricket a lot clearer to less enlightened folks. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:58, March 6, 2012 (UTC)

It's looking a lot better. There are a few lines in there which I really like. The "out toffed" stuff got me giggling. MrN 21:14, Mar 6

Formula One

Ahh...I see you are working through the major sporting events Mr N. This looks a lot tidier but since there is a new season coming perhaps a reworking of the Forumula One teams for 2012? The others could be placed on a sub page perhaps - teams of the past?? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:58, March 6, 2012 (UTC)

I'm not really editing in any particular order, but I did remember that F1 had a some good stuff in it, so fished it out and tried to tidy it up. Sounds to me like you fancy editing this one? Go for it! I just kept what appeared to be remotely funny, and was not bothered about accuracy of teams to a particular season or whatever (might be easier to maintain in the long run and get less "they are shit, they are better" edits, that's why I removed most of the stuff about individual drivers), but if you want to do it based on the current season I'm sure it will work also. The names are totally wrong as they are now I'm sure... I would avoid using subpages as that usually sucks, but if you think it's really necessary tis up to you... MrN 21:14, Mar 6

Newry

You set a page wayy back called "Newry", it being a city in Ireland

At first i thought it was just vandalism of the article but then i realised you are an admin

The part you went wrong editing this page is when doing:

(cur | prev) 12:06, February 18, 2012 MrN9000 (talk | contribs) (7,038 bytes) (rv back to previously kept version)

this completely destroyed the article

It was halierious and i dont know if your from here but the content was all in to do with the town area which outsiders mightnd get (like you) but you have to change this back please

you dont know how many people went to that article or showed me it in town, its posted on facebook and that quiet often and now its destroyed

Please change it back – Preceding unsigned comment added by Evil Genius1 (talk • contribs)

So there actually lives a creature called Grelmo in Newry? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:32, 7 March 2012

I totally understand what you are saying, but... If you look at the page history more you will see that it was nominated for deletion at VFD [this is the vote], we decided to keep it, but only because I chopped out what I did. You almost totally lost it altogether man! Think of it from our point of view... We don't live in Newry, and neither does everyone else on the planet who, um... Does not live in Newry. So. A lot of people don't live there... A few do. So... We have decided that generally most of the articles here need to be accessible and understandable to most people, and not just those who live there. We do allow some local only stuff (depending on which way the wind is blowing), but the old article before I fixed it contained far too much. Also a lot of it was just name dropping and ranting with no actual real point or joke. We really don't like name dropping. When the regular users and admins see what appear to be real peoples names in articles the alarm bells start to ring also, and that was happening A LOT with the article before I fixed it. So no, sorry I can't put it back to how it was. It would be deleted and I don't want that.

But...

Now that you have created an account here you can (if you wish) go through the history and MERGE some of the good content from the history into the current version. I'm sure I did remove some OK stuff which could be in the current article, and it would be cool if you wanted to manually add that back. I did attack it with a hatchet as it was either that or it got deleted there an then. You might have to wait a few days if you have created your account recently as I protected the page from edits from IP and new users. I hope you understand what I'm saying... Have fun. MrN 14:36, Mar 7

UnSignpost - 8 March 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay

March 8th, 2012 • Issue 161 • The most recycled periodical on the internet!

Vote for Change By Chief Frosty fixes IRC There have been rumblings on the wiki this week, and not just because someone in the UnSignpost office insists it is their human right to have three kebabs for breakfast. These are the rumblings of discontent, and they stem from the behaviour of several users on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel. Frosty was decent enough to create a forum in the Ministry of Love explaining his discontent with pretty much everything IRC. Those of you who are fans of long blocks of text with lots of unnecessary swearing will not be disappointed as Frosty delivers Uncyclopedia's first blockbuster of 2012. The crux of the issue is that the Uncyclopedia IRC channel is not unlike my back garden, dangerous to enter alone for fear that Olipro will burst from the undergrowth and verbally assault you before hiding in the shed. There appear to be several views on this issue, besides the obvious; the UnSignpost sat down with Socky to discuss how we could fabricate a quote from him this week and he didn't say "I propose that all who argue should be put to death". Determined not to be outdone when it comes to simmering discontent with our benighted wiki, Lyrithya weighed into the forum to say that she too was disgusted with the present situation and something should be done. It's both worrying and strangely comforting that you can always rely on her for this particular viewpoint. The rebuttal to all these dissenting views has been varied, mostly involving admitting that yes Olipro and Dr. Skullthumper are an acquired taste and that everyone should generally go back to the important task of deleting maintaining the wiki. Puppy fixes NotM Speaking of maintaining the wiki, it is with great pride and the greatest pleasure that we bring to you more reforms from the keyboard of Dr. Skullthumper, Uncyclopedia's lead innovator and blue sky thinker. He proposes that in order to make new users feel welcome we should abolish Noob of the Month. Don't look at us like that; it makes complete sense to me: new users plus no awards equals a better Uncyclopedia. That isn't strictly true, as PuppyOnTheRadio suggested that instead of having a system by which we award one user the award per month we stack the new users up and treat them as though they were articles on VFH. This will at least kill two noobs with one stone, as nothing proves quite so heartbreaking as having your first article stomped on and then thrown into the bin because it "Lacks cultural significance". You could then change to the VFN page and watch yourself be stomped on and then thrown into the bin because "His/her articles lack cultural significance". Users interested in this plan should report here and support Thrak Thrak the destroyer of Worlds: May his power endure eternally, praise be, praise be to use the name he uses in his welcome message. Dr. Skullthumper fixes Uncyclopedia Oh and in case you had forgotten, Thekillerfroggy still wants to sell Uncyclopedia to the man, man. Our pessimistic thought for the week goes to Electrified mocha chinchilla, who urges you to look on the bright side by saying: "Uncyclopedia will die if we do not make a conscious effort to expand our presence on the internet, thereby reaching a wider audience and attracting more contributors". So to conclude: WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!! THIS IS THE END OF DAYS! Happy Thursday! Conservation By Chief Only you can prevent forest fires, is what we would be saying if it was time for forest fire week again. It's not. Instead it is almost time for another Conservation Week! Unfamiliar with Conservation Week? Want to learn more? Why not head on over to the page and do a spot of reading? Or don't; trust that our summary of the rules is gospel and just start writing. Basically you rewrite articles so that they are no longer suitable for one of Dr. Skullthumper's templates of doom. Having completed your rewrite you gain a point, and you want to have more points than everyone, especially HauntedUndies, who is the Team Rocket of Conservation Week. Honestly, it's true. You can enter the competition for the low low price of ten English pounds, which goes towards oiling the gears and cogs of Uncyclopedia. Your article should also contain at least two pictures of a Monkey, regardless of the subject matter. Well? What are you waiting for? HAH! False start; the competition isn't running just yet, and updates could come from anywhere, at literally any time. Check out the forum and await further instructions.

Check out these pages! Conservation Centenary Madness In-jokes Proposals From our logs: 12:19, March 2, 2012 Romartus (talk | contribs) blocked Fck cnt slt btch whre jrk-ff rttwlr wnk (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (We have a policy on vowel abuse here.) 00:01, March 4, 2012 RAHB (talk | contribs) blocked 85.73.86.233 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Today you endure my ire at the fact the revision differences colors have changed. Rar.) 16:12, March 2, 2012 ChiefjusticeDS (talk | contribs) blocked 216.11.41.2 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (JUST LOVES AMERICA SO DAMN MUCH) 14:06, March 2, 2012 MadMax (talk | contribs) blocked 31.221.14.82 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (The "nicest guy any one would ever want to meet"? You sure have a funny way of showing it Nathaniel.) 05:49, March 4, 2012 Roman Dog Bird (talk | contribs) blocked R.A.H.B. (Roman A-dog Hunting Baron) (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (hahaha) 14:19, March 6, 2012 Black flamingo11 (talk | contribs) blocked 199.212.250.156 (talk) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (Come back in three days and tell us more about swans, this time in more detail and without the all caps.) Biopic of the Week Yeehaw! It's time for biopic of the week and this week we'll be looking at a user whose username I cannot seem to say without speaking in a ridiculous American accent. It's Jonny appleseed. Now Mr. Appleseed has been hanging about Uncyclopedia since November last year, and in that time you probably haven't spoken to him once. Why? Because he has been prowling about on UnNews, you remember UnNews, the place where you haven't been since the last argument over what shade of brown the banner should be. Jonny has written 16 articles, and they are actually quite good; I thoroughly enjoyed the thirty seconds I spent speed reading through them. He may be quiet but his potential is great; I foresee great things for you, young Appleseed (be sure to say that to him constantly). If you happen to have a spare moment, the UnSignpost suggests that you go and greet this highly promising fellow and perhaps try reading his articles while speaking with a strong American accent. It's a right hoot. Old-school FA 22 March 2006 Nigeria, two days into launching its first census in 15 years, has found it has an estimated 40 million rich and desperate princes and generals in its population, the press secretary for President Olusegun Obasanjo said today. "We were indeed surprised at the amount of high-status people in this country with Swiss bank accounts from whom the government is trying to obtain millions of dollars," the press secretary said in an official statement. "In fact, we didn't know we had so many princes, much less ones eager to unload large amounts of diamonds." Newsroom UnTune of the Week Sevenfold RAmen Public Service Announcement Users are warned not to send correspondence to their home address regarding the following edit: 21:47 HowTo:Persuade your husband‎ (diff | hist) . . (+1) . . Aleister in Chains (talk | contribs) (a couple of minor tweaks, nothing to write home about)

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:20, 8 March 2012

Love

Caution. This section contains a link to Wet Wet Wet, and reference to Richard Simmons.

MrN is very sorry.

It's consensual. Pup 08:40 08 Mar '12

It's all around us. It's also actually not an emotion like the others are but a universal force just as real as gravity or Chuck Norris. MrN 08:47, Mar 8

WTF? Did I really just link to Wet Wet Wet?!? Fucking hell. I humbly apologise to all who may have just had the misfortune to read that previous message. MrN 09:23, Mar 8

That song sent revulsion right through me. I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes. Pup 09:42 08 Mar '12

No seriously. I just linked to Wet Wet Wet. WTF??? HELP!! HELP!! WHAT THE FUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAA! MrN 09:45, Mar 8

Ah jeez, why did I come here. Must...take...shower. Oh, I remember, thanks for featuring the page, a surprise for me (I thought it may epic fail, so at least the Happy Monkey contest gets another feature). The best pic, I'd say, would be BB's great chop of Richard Simmons (the last pic on the page). The rose is purty and all, but a rose by any other name is still Richard Simmons, and the boys at Webster's still aren't sure how that happened. Thanks again! Aleister, showering now 19:17 12-3-'12

I must remember to stop sniffing Richard Simmons. MrN 19:22, Mar 12

Wet wet wet and Richard Simmons. This page needs a warning sign. Pup 09:36 12 Mar '12

Much better. I didn't completely miss the warning sign and scroll right down to the bottom to have to scroll back up to see it there at all. Pup 12:14 13 Mar '12

Boone's Farm

Yes, a wise move! It will be interesting when "they" come back and see the page. I moved the two quotes on top because they were showing up on the Bing summary of the page, and thought that the first line or three would be better for that summary. Bing put up an ad or two between uncy's page and the entire list, so it's a little more separated. This is another page which would be fun to link to so it can move higher up the google chain. I must go drink some now. Al 3:05 13-3-'12

Remind me never to get on your bad side. MrN 03:08, Mar 13

I just don't like advertisers or advertising, and see most of it as a hustle to cheat the stupid and even the not-so stupid out of what little money they have. My only other ad-related page here was Rolex, when an auto-bot came on board and pretended it was a user who had just gotten back from a trip to Hawaii and wanted to tell all his friends here about this great watch he had seen. That's an accurate summary of the bot signing up as a member said (and I don't think a bot could have done all that, it had to be an actual person wanting to hustle uncy's users), so I told "him" I was going to write a page, and Rolex was the result. Whoops, what's this? Aleister 3:15 13-3-'12

I wonder what edits we might get. I missed the point of it being an advert which was why I removed what I considered to be the weakest part of the lead. All makes sense now though. MrN 03:24, Mar 13

Boone's Farm - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Boone's_Farm
1 day ago – If you don't throw up on your first sip, you're not doing it right. Look at that familiar color - he.

Is what I get from Google now. Must be cashed or something. MrN 03:28, Mar 13

I get Wikipedia entry and Urban dictionary before Uncyc. I wonder what it would take to get a "new" urban dictionary definition on top? Pup 06:13 13 Mar '12

Oi! Where have you been?!

I came across your name in RC. I've missed you. Granted, I haven't been around to express my missingness, but that's because I am now married. And a parent. Sorta, they're cats, but it's a full time job... And I'm also in agreement about Sir Monckton these days. I think my diehard Republican husband got through on that. I'm ranting, and need to stop. Hug? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 01:10, 14 Mar

Hea you! Well, I have been loitering around this place again for a little while now. :) Tis great to see you too! Married eh? Awesome. I'm with a luvvyly Welsh lady, who... Is possibly reading this so I should be careful what I say... :-) HeHe. Not a denier any more then eh? The rabbit hole goes deep and is scary if you dare to look enough... MrN 01:18, Mar 14

I'm also a gun owner, as every good Republican should be, and leaning towards joining the Tea Party. Talk about zany. I guess I got tired of the fakts offered by a lot of our beloved media outlets. I also started trolling the Finnish Wikipedia a tad after I noticed, that their idea of an article about any politician I like is to not account any of their career or achievements, but to in stead belittle them for their religious views or lack thereof, as seen through the tabloid filter of reputable news outlets such as Daily Mail and its peers. Also, I realized just now to my horror, that I have begun spelling words in American. I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I'm in Washington, but not D.C. but the pacific coast state no-one seems to remember exists. Both my parents have made the assumption I'm in the capital. Mum after that earthquake, Daddy, when he was in Virginia for business. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 01:28, 14 Mar

Guns are good. They make people the same, although they do make killing people easier. Per Finnish Wikipedia... The English Wikipedia is like that. Certain key articles are obviously totally controlled. It's easy to spot the ones which are as often they have talk pages with thousands of edits, and pointless discussions to hide the truth. When I want to know about something I don't read the wikipedia page... I read the talk page and edit history to see what people are fighting over, who they are and such... That tells you a lot more about reality. Not sure the Tea party is a that great an idea as they still believe there is such a thing as left/right politics which I don't, but I'm sure they do a great cup of Tea. MrN 01:40, Mar 14

I thought Washington was the guy with wooden teeth. And I don't have a gun, but I do have a sock. If I had some coins I'd fill it. Pup 01:46 14 Mar '12

I thought I could smell socks... Hmm... Anyway, I recommend you get a gun. They are far more effective at long range. MrN 02:47, Mar 14

Well, my late Grandmother, a Dame Commander of some long-form-named order or other taught me how to make an excellent cup of tea, and a fine cuppa is always enough reason for a party. What I like about the movement, is the phenomenon of grassroots activism from individuals, who wouldn't normally care enough to walk out and voice a complaint. It means that something is wrong, when the perceived "silent mass" cares enough to get off their sofas and step outside for something else than shopping. As far as wikipedia goes, I've been emphasizing it as a tool for discovering a reading list of books you can go to the library for, and study yourself. I was considered to be weird by my academical peers in business school for that. However, I'd rather sit a little outside a box, and poke fun at those in it, if I can flaunt my intellect without seemingly doing so.

I'm done immigrating to the U.S. for a while, so now I actually have some time to write again, which is why I peeked in, but I'm not sure if I'm staying or not. It's a little difficult to keep track of what's going on, if you peek in only every few months or so. Hence me tidying up my user space, deleting things like UnSis etc... No need for that sort of crap around, if I'm never going to invest the time into doing something out of them. I'd rather try and work on something such as my tea ceremony article, which can tie in neatly with my new-found fascination with the Tea Party. *wink* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 01:55, 14 Mar

Oh Yea. MrN Linked to David Icke. And yes, that means he believes the moon is made of lizard cheese.

Additional Loenard Cohen.

As usual... What we actually need more of is people to edit! Lots of articles, but lots of crap in em which can be removed to make a much better result... A lot of people don't have the confidence to really attack an article in the way you need to wip it into shape. A cut here, and a paste there from someone who has a good sense of humour is what it takes. Go for it where ever you fancy, you don't have to write something new if you don't want to. Anyway... You know I hate talking politics so... HeHe... I'm linking ya to David Icke. This guy once claimed to be the son of god (to his total embarrassment live on TV), and to this day still pretends to believe in lizards and more recently that the moon is not a natural object. Truth is... He does not really believe in "real" lizards. Just the reptilian brain. and... There IS something really odd about the moon if you bother to actually take a look at the facts in the actual book. David Icke sometimes talks a lot of waffle, but in this video on the right... At about 1:20 - 1:30 to about 3:00 or so he is most definitely making sense. It's about private Banks (like the FED) creating money out of nothing and then lending it to people for interest which never existed in the first place. It's a simple con. The people don't control the money supply. They should. If the tea party people are trying to push anything thing else other than that politically then I suggest their direction is misguided. On that note... I need to soak my head for a while before Puppy hoses me down for being far too political without reference to my Pants. MrN 02:47, Mar 14

Politics permeates every television channel this side of the pond, so I'm mostly focused on other stuff by now, knitting socks, working out, polishing my guns... and to exercise my grey matter, resurrecting a new and improved version of this once VFD:d subject's article, because the subject is sound, the article was just outright abusive with very little laugh-value. Give it a look. I've also got this stub, and this fine attempt sitting around, and an old classic subject, that is yet to yield any inspiration from me. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 03:05, 14 Mar

From WP - "Ina Rosenberg Garten (play /ˈaɪnə/ EYE-nə; born February 2, 1948) is an American author, host of the Food Network program Barefoot Contessa, and former White House nuclear policy analyst." -- Wow. Cooking and nuclear policy. A great mix... MrN 03:14, Mar 14

Yuppers. Not exactly a career path you'd expect, even on a sane day. So I'm trying to work in those angles, but keep it sophisticated and funny. I shall return, Zombiebaron just huffed my Farmers' Market stub, gotta see if he'd be nice enough to return it to me. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 03:24, 14 Mar

My socks are effective at a long range. I take my shoes off in a cinema and people stop talking. In fact, they often stop breathing. Pup 04:18 14 Mar '12

To return to the subject of milk, have I missed anything important? PotR probably knows better than MrN, but I may be surprised. o_O -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:18, 14 Mar

Yes. Well, probably. MrN 22:28, Mar 14

Nothing much ever happens here. Apparently there's a periodical that gives information on a weekly basis, but I gave written for it in the past, so I wouldn't rely on its newsworthiness. I've also only been back for six months or so. Actually I have no idea how long. We had a Forest fire and now we're having conservation week. There's a push by some to delete more articles as we have too many, and a push by others to write more as we have too few. There's also a move to delete the UnNews audio award, and a move to restore it. A push to start advertising and a push to not advertise. A time for sowing and a time for reaping. Basically, fuck all has happened and is likely to continue happening, but somehow we're still here and have more feature quality articles being created, so somehow it works. Pup 04:38 15 Mar '12

UN:WP

So lemme get this straight: you only add wikipedia links when the subject is obscure and made up bull-crap? Nicolas-1223 (talk) 18:19, March 14, 2012 (UTC)

Did you read UN:WP? We don't have a strict rule which we stick to totally all the time. Generally there is no point linking to WP. For example everyone knows that there is an article about Milk at Wikipedia so why bother telling people? Some articles on Uncyc appear to be made up bull-crap, but actually are about real things which have WP pages. In that case some people think it's funny to link to WP to prove that it's a real thing. I stopped you because you were adding the WP template randomly all over the place and we don't want that. Have fun. MrN 18:33, Mar 14

That's the first time I've read this and the corresponding one over there. Am I allowed to say I disagree with both of them for exactly the same reason? Pup 04:41 15 Mar '12

TheLedBalloon Wrote UN:WP in reply to some tosser at WP. It's more of a joke than a policy really. Unfortunately though you are not allowed to disagree because I have no idea what you are disagreeing about. Which is most disagreeable as I'm always looking for a good disagreement. Please be more forthcoming with your disagreements/disgruntlement. MrN 04:58, Mar 15

My main disagreement is that Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia are mirror images. One should reflect the other. I also like having {{wikipedia}} on pages. Pup 11:02 15 Mar '12

Agreed Uncyc should totally reflect WP. I'm here because Uncyc is a parody of WP. When WP start linking to use as much as we do to them I would say it's right to parody that more here. Till then I'm not really a fan of using the template too much unless it makes our article more funny somehow. MrN 11:09, Mar 15

For a direct spork, I think it is more tidy than the spork template. I probably would use it more on an obscure topic than a common knowledge one though. And WP talk pages are funny. Pup 11:13 15 Mar '12

That sounds good to me. I just don't want em added everywhere randomly unless there is a reason. :-) MrN 11:16, Mar 15

Alright, thanks

Man I'm having so much fun rewriting 1984! I can't believe how great this book is, I finished it a week ago. Orwell was the shit! He wrote that in 1948 or something 0.0 Thanks for the link, I'll check it out. May give me ideas, but I have plenty.. Mattsnow 10:11, March 15, 2012 (UTC)

That dude knew far too much... Wrote a lot of stuff about a lot of things. ;) Brave New World is another similar one. MrN 10:14, Mar 15

Do you know if his other books are in the same genre? Also, 1984 is on Google videos! I thought I would be disappointed by the movie after reading the book (as is almost always the case), but no, it actually is great too! Mattsnow 10:27, March 15, 2012 (UTC)

In my opinion Orwell (Eric Arthur Blair) was "awake". Whatever that means. I'm not sure if he was "good" or "bad". Whatever that means... All of his books can be interpreted with that in mind I think, but I have not read them all. H. G. Wells same IMO. Yea 1984 is a good film and actually does do the book justice. MrN 10:40, Mar 15

Just read the WP article for Brave New World, it seems awesome! Noted. I can't believe a conspiracy kook like me didn't know about 1984 until a week ago lol. Ron Paul crimethink doubleplusgood. Romney war is peace plusthink! Mattsnow 10:46, March 15, 2012 (UTC)

You should also read Animal Farm by Orwell, a short book written as fable about political change (or not). I can also recommend Homage to Catalonia, Orwell's experience of fighting in the Spanish Civil War with a pro-Trotsky Communist militia. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:57, March 15, 2012 (UTC)

It was written in 1948, but released in '49. Orwell was planning on finishing it earlier but couldn't due to being unwell. He took the year for the books setting by reversing the digits, but in the book itself he suggests that it could be any year, as with history being rewritten constantly even time is in the hands of the upper circle. Interesting difference between the US and original pressing is at the very end of the book he sketches "2 + 2 = 5" on the table at the cafe. In the other pressing the 5 is omitted. I can't remember which is which, but the fact that he leaves out that final digit at the end suggests that he may be questioning what happened to him at miniluv, and that his conditioning isn't complete. The thing that gets me about that is that the entire novels meaning can hinge on the inclusion - or exclusion - of a single digit.

I'd also suggest reading the writing of Ben Elton. He's a fantastic satirist - just look at Blackadder - but much of his work also has elements of a dystopian future. It amazes me that elements of the movie 2012 came straight from Stark. He also did a fantastic historical based novel in "The first casualty" based on WWI. Also must read is Animal Farm, and as a microcosm of society and descent into barbarism is "Lord of the flies". Pup 10:59 15 Mar '12 FU edit conflict!

Or Ecoscience which is kinda the same thing but a bit more formal and packaged in a different format. MrN 11:16, Mar 15

Oh, and you must watch Soylent Green! Pup 11:21 15 Mar '12

Right. I'm going to watch "Soylent Green" or whatever it is now. It better be good Puppy! :P MrN 12:23, Mar 15

Eh, thanks for the suggestions! I don't know if it's because I am in a French place, but here those authors are not discussed much. I'll try to find the original english versions at the public library, but I think I'll have to order them on the net. For example, '1984' has about 12 copies in French at the public library and only 1 English one, which is reserved by 6 people before me. There's a law in the province preventing public libraries from having less than 85% of their books in French. (not even kidding, that gives you an idea of how much french is under threat here). So I guess I'll resort to buying them online. Mattsnow 00:58, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

John Holdren is a sick fuck! Mattsnow 12:51, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

In France if you work for the civil service (government) you can get dismissed from your job for using the word "e-mail" as there is a French word which they want you to use instead. Yea... If people just actually bothered to read and understand EcoScience/Eugenics... WE HAVE THE DOCUMENTS! ;) MrN 13:00, Mar 16

Talking to Myself

On the off chance that anyone is paying attention... What do people think of this. A little idea which obviously comes out of a few recent forum posts. I'm thinking of creating this as a Village Dump Forum, and letting it run and see what happens. MrN 12:23, Mar 15

Good idea. Pup 01:08 15 Mar '12

Can anyone like... Edit it and stuff to make it better? I'm sure there is a better way to do the table, and maybe the layout/rules/whatever should be totally different. Or maybe the starting articles are wrong? MrN 13:13, Mar 15

If I get a chance, but I'm struggling with an article I've been working on, while being harassed by a user I've been trying to avoid. I'm not very good with time. Puppy likes Rules Time is an illusion

Yes, I'm overly picky.

Even so, could you please use a year in your timestamps? 1234 ~ 02:25, 16 March 2012

When I was 21. That was a very good year. It was a very good year for small town girls who lived down the way. They tried to turn me gay. It wasn't much fun. When I was 21. Puppy likes Rules Time is an illusion

Yes you are overly picky, but thanks for asking nicely. My sig is a parody of the sig of my Idol and favourite user on Uncyclopedia. We both like our sigs like they are. He has had no time stamp whatsoever in his sig since 2005. Mine has been virtually unchanged the since 2007. Mhaille has managed 7 years without any problems and it's been since 2007 for me. TKF has spoken to you about this, now I'm doing the same... I think there are more important things to worry about than hassling people about sigs. So long as it identifies the person and does not flood the screen I don't care what a sig looks like, and as you can see, you are in a minority for being overly bothered about it. You are awesome Lyrithya. Looking back over your contributions you have done shit loads of amazing stuff over the time you have been on Uncyc. Seriously. This latest sig agenda? Not so amazing. Sorry. MrN 07:15, Mar 16

Actually, my point was that it looked like you were talking about Aleister's current in-progress rewrite when in fact you were talking about a completely different article because that comment was actually three years old; it just looked like it wasn't due to context. Now I appreciate that you and Mhaille like to be different (he doesn't even log in most of the time these days) but I'm asking as a basic courtesy to others so it's easier for people to tell what's going on, not as part of some wide agenda to Change Everything. 1234 ~ 17:30, 16 March 2012

Aleister was not confused. I can't motivate myself to get into a long argument with you to explain why you are wrong. I'm sorry. I just want to write and edit the wiki. I'm sure you don't want my advice but... You should leave this whole "sig" thing well alone now. It's really not that important. Go and do something else more constructive around the wiki. Please. MrN 17:47, Mar 16

What exactly is there to be wrong about here? It's a request, and I explained the reasoning behind it in the hopes that an appeal to your consideration might have an effect as I am by no means the only one to have fallen for it over the years (although you've been inactive most of that time, which is probably the main reason why nobody ever brought it up), but this is like trying to request an image on UN:PIC, saying what it's for, and just being told 'No, you're wrong.' Now if you don't want to grant the request, that's your prerogative, but that's also no reason to be rude. 1234 ~ 19:38, 16 March 2012

That was honesty. Not rudeness. You would know if I was being rude. ;) MrN 19:42, Mar 16

I missed your 'summary' before. I don't hate ya, neither do we "all". Not at all. Ya silly fish. MrN 19:48, Mar 16

No, i have to do this.

the article Nobody now is too short and i don't think it's funny. If i am a rollback i would revert it with the rollback button. And i will revert it now.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!! 10:55, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

Here's your challenge then - you have 24 hours to improve the article. At the end of which it goes to VFD for the community to decide which version stays and which goes. If mine goes, then I accept it. If yours, then you have to accept it. Deal? Puppy likes Rules Time is an illusion

It's a lot shorter, but it's now better. There are now 2 users, myself and 1 other who disagree with you. THAT is a consensus. Do you know what that means? Also, it probably best not to edit war with me please... MrN 10:59, Mar 16

i will now make it a redirect page to nobody cares. That's what you deserve.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!! 11:01, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

If you do I will block you. :-) MrN 11:01, Mar 16

now find a way to expand the current version.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!! 11:03, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

So edit the current version. Not that old pile of shit though. The new improved version. MrN 11:04, Mar 16

Forum:Signature guidelines

I'm trying to get a resolution here. Could you please restore it? Let people have their say, let it stay the way it is, or change to something a little more stringent, and then we can get on with everything that is not this. Nominally Humane! 05:07 17 Mar

That forum smelt funny to me and I did not like it so I deleted it. If any other sysop wants to hack it up then they can do so. Also... Deep down... You know exactly why I deleted it... You know exactly why you... You also know exactly about... grr! MrN 05:11, Mar 17

Oh, I understand the anti-drama aspect. In short, I have a significant doubt that anyone wants to change the signature guidelines - least of all me. But these have been protected (with good reason) and can be changed by any admin at any time. So how else is anyone who is a non-admin able to address what they see is an issue with them, or with the way they are being enforced? I've had articles deleted before for what I consider arbitrary reasons, and accepted that with a grain of salt. But we've always let people do what they like within userspace, and we've said about signatures "beyond that, anything goes... at least until it proves exceedingly annoying and gets added to the list". I'm over caring about how bored people are with the conversation - it has been started, and should be allowed to be finished in a constructive way that is not just a deletion of a forum, or screwing up another users signatures. Nominally Humane! 05:22 17 Mar

I saw a HUGE anti-dram aspect when I deleted it. I'm actually trying to stop you getting blocked again for similar reasons given by RAHB. Which did sound harsh, but did have IMO more than of a grain of truth in them. Also dude... Think about it... You above acknowledge that people don't want to change the signature guidelines so what's the point of the forum? I don't want to change anything. You don't want to change anything. We leave everything as it is and all is well. No? MrN 05:27, Mar 17

All right then - you don't want it to change, neither do I, and neither does ZB. That will do me for a consensus. Nominally Humane! 05:31 17 Mar

That was a rubbish argument. I want my money back. MrN 05:33, Mar 17

Didn't you see the sign? No refunds, no exchanges. Nominally Humane! 05:50 17 Mar

I just realised I thanked Socky for what you did. Being the Belgian bastard he is he took my thanks. You can feel free to smack him for it. Nominally Humane! 03:48 17 Mar

As usual I have no idea what people are talking about but I do suspect that Socky needs a smack. As usual... ;) MrN 17:01, Mar 24

Bing Crosby

I'm doing something to follow your and Puppy's advice to work on your lists of really really vital articles. It's a small walk through a deep pool by I'm sloughing it out step by step. Soon other concepts and thoughts will take over my life and I'll make something of the page, but it's a start. Stop yelling in my brain, or is that crooning? I can't tell the difference. Al 11:17 this too shall pass

See also Uncylopedia and the UN.

Do you mean by that that I should huff the comparison table between Uncy and 1984 (book)? I don't get it :( Mattsnow 11:21, March 17, 2012 (UTC)

Huff the whole article. Do not resist the thought police. Goldstein never lies. except always, and only then. Aleister 11:42 (UTC)

Sorry to confuse you Matt. Nope, huff the bit I added if you like. :-) It was just a link for ya really as it was on a similar subject. MrN 12:21, Mar 17

OK. The article is coming along fine, I think about it at work, when I'm on the can, etc. lol Mattsnow 12:41, March 17, 2012 (UTC)

Cool. I will have a proper look at it sometime soon. :-) MrN 12:50, Mar 17

Amero is featured

Master Yoda! Many thanks for your positive vote--Funnybony    15:08, Mar 17

Can you please move Michael Vick to my userspace?

I like the crappiness of the article.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!! 08:59, March 19, 2012 (UTC)

Are you planning on making it better? MrN 03:28, Mar 24

I just found the article pathehicly funny. Oh, how i like crappy articles with lots of in-joke cruft.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!! 04:42, March 24, 2012 (UTC)

Cool Dude. I have done it for ya this time. I'm not really a fan of hacking up shite if the person does not actually intend on doing anything with it. It's better if you make a copy yourself before it dies. Tis cool though and I have done it for ya... ...this time.  :-) MrN 16:59, Mar 24

The Pea Buddy Awards

WOW! A brand new UnNews competition and we need you! Either prepare yourself mentally for the severity of the trials (don't sign up just yet, you cheat!) or commit your soul as a judge right now. May the Lord shine his blessings upon thee! Mattsnow 00:40, March 20, 2012 (UTC)

Restoring a few

On Forum:TL;DR MrEx has listed a few articles. I'm going for benefit of the doubt here to see if they are worth retrieving. Could you restore them to my userspace? Nominally Humane! 10:07 20 Mar

I took a look at them... User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Captain Planet and User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Fetish are probably the two most worth trying to save. The others I will recreate if ya really want em but I'm not sure it's worth it having had a look at them. MrN 15:10, Mar 24

I shall single handedly...

... save the glory that is Wikipedia from the evils of your vandal grooming site! --Otterathome (talk) 03:21, March 24, 2012 (UTC)

Dude. MrN 03:24, Mar 24

HA-HA! YOU SHALL NEVER STOP US! WHY? BECAUSE...

THIS...IS...4CHA...

...wait...

Whoops, wrong page. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Mar 24 '12 4:40 (UTC)

I hate to whore

but I finished writing 1984 and I think I did something good there. Also, I got my hands on Brave New World, didn't start reading it yet. Mattsnow 23:15, March 24, 2012 (UTC)

I likewise hate to whore, but give me $30 and I'll show you a good time, big boy. Nominally Humane! 11:53 24 Mar

But I like TWO whores, as long as they're hot! Mattsnow 00:55, March 25, 2012 (UTC)

2 Girls 1 Calculus Equation? Nominally Humane! 01:12 25 Mar

Hahaha!!! That cracked me up! I somehow didn't read it when it was on VFH. I need to make a YT reaction video to the article! BTW, I have never seen 2 girls 1 cup, and I don't plan on it! I saw some brutal beheadings without flinching much, but I so want to stay away from that one! My friend told me he puked when he saw it. Mattsnow 01:24, March 25, 2012 (UTC)

2 Calculus equations, no girls is the one to avoid. MrN 02:19, Mar 25

I saw half of 2 girls, 1 cup. It's extremely gross, but it didn't trigger my gag reflex. Then again, I have practised overriding my gag reflex so if all else fails I have a career in porn. Nominally Humane! 02:23 25 Mar

Thanks for voting

Thanks for voting on my article --Uncle J (talk) 23:41, March 24, 2012 (UTC)

Featured Article: UnNews:Barack Obama proposes legalizing prostitution, pot in effort to balance budget, avoid tax increases

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

I asked Mattsnow but he will ignore me

So I ask you too. Puppy says this pic will be ousted at wikipedia at any time. Could you upload it here? I can't, and Puppy can't. Danger danger Willard Robinson. Thanks! Aleister 2:24 25-3-'12

You are serious? Why can't you upload it? I... Obviously can, but... Um.... Also... I'm about to go to bed. Seriously. :-) MrN 02:27, Mar 25

I edit via cell, where the upload option won't work. I can upload to Wikipedia at work (hence it's there) and occasionally get the chance to use my laptop at home, but I'm not home. Nominally Humane! 02:41 25 Mar

Ah. Got ya. Well if ya look at RC it's there. :-) MrN 02:44, Mar 25

Thanks. And Matt saved it on his computer, so he will always have it!Aleister 2:48 25-3-'12

You guys all diluted my whoring! In all fairness, MrN9000 said he'd like to take a look at 1984 when it is a finished product. Well, it is! Vote for, vote against, don't vote, rape a goat, do as you wish! Mattsnow 02:58, March 25, 2012 (UTC)

LMAO Alex Jones porn star! Thanks for the tweaks! Mattsnow 03:11, March 25, 2012 (UTC)

Thankis for the memories, and the vote!

You liked the Bing Crosby page, thanks. It was inspired by your list (the only red link on there) as well as Hyperbole originally explaining it was one of wikipedia's top ten musical articles. Your guys are the brats pajamas, or something like that. Aleister 19:24 27-3

When MadMax votes for a page you know it's a good one. :) MrN 15:41, Mar 27

Thank you!

I'm grateful for your cleaning of Gay Hitler, it will be so much easier for me to work on it now. Again, thanks. Änjelajs (talk) 13:50, March 29, 2012 (UTC)

Hea, no problem, I figured you could use some help with the formatting. It's a good article. In some places it's got that "something" ;) Feel free to have more than one quote at the top (though 3 is often enough) and add stuff back if you think I moved it around in the wrong way. :-) MrN 13:54, Mar 29

Hey

Quite playing around with vagina. This is a public website you know. Get a room. Aleister 18:17 29-3

It's there for all to see... anyway... MrN signing off for the night... Be gud... ;) MrN 18:23, Mar 29

Wait....wait....oh damn, he's gone. Aleister 18:32

He hit the rocks. His head is probably on his keyboard right now lol Mattsnow 18:49, March 29, 2012 (UTC)

I'm glad we have restrictions on showing genitals on here. Nominally Humane! 09:35 29 Mar

I have yet to finish playing with it. Feel free to put a finger in any time you like. MrN 01:28, Apr 1

Forum:Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum

We're holding a small competition there and you may be interested! It's the rewrite of both those articles, as of now there's only 2 places left for the Romney team of rewriters. The originality of this informal competition is that VFH will determine the winners. Feel free to sign in to help Aleister with the Romney article! Mattsnow 01:37, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

This is where I jump up and shatter the left right paradigm... Right? Um... I may take a look tomorrow, but don't count on it. Unfortunately I don't know a lot about either of them, so I'm not sure this Brit can help too much on this one. ...we get some stuff about them over here on our interwebs, but not all that much... MrN 01:44, Apr 1

QVFD

What does a non admin have to do to get a page deleted. I have marked a page for deletion but it is still up. Please assist! --Everytime (talk) 18:35, April 2, 2012 (UTC)

You have to add the page to the list of pages on QVFD. Or just link to the page here on MrN's talkpage. -- The Zombiebaron 18:36, April 2, 2012 (UTC)

MrN, my good man

Hello. No feature set for tomorrow, which draws nigh. I know one good feature, but you might know more. What's your feelings about this Ron Paul thing? I haven't even looked at he page yet, which shows how entused I am about starting on it. Aleister 22:59 2-4-12

As they say... There are two hopes, Bob Hope, and no Hope. On this occasion you do actually have Bob Hope, so I'm sure something can be arranged. I'm not sure if anyone else has anything planned for the main page so I will swap it back to normal if no one does anything. Per the Ron Paul article... Tricky one this... Looking through the article history it has been written from both the point of view of a fan of his and also someone who was not. this is one link I found. There is some good stuff in a few other places in the history, and some good stuff in the main article. The fact that the article is edited by both fans and haters has shown through in the current version, so it's a bit of a jumble. I guess we need to decide on a theme, or maybe just agree on an overall tone. For this kinda article I think the ideal solution would be funny to those who both love and hate the guy. What are your feelings about Ron Paul? We don't get a lot of news about him here in the UK on mainstream TV. MrN 23:14, Apr 2

I'm not really good on tight collabs, for me it's just go crazy and write, maybe different sections, and work it out later. Ron Paul is boring in that the public has never gotten behind him to push him where he wants to go. He's the only candidate telling the truth about the FED, about the drug war, and is "right" on many other things, but the establishment is so well established that the sheep in America don't even recognize when they have an honest man in their midst. The media has always tried to hide him, and has done so this election as well, and now he himself is cushioning up to Romney, maybe in hopes of getting his son a leg up at some point (the next Paul in the que is a guy named Rand Paul, a Senator from Kentucky or Tennessee or somewhere. Maybe Rand Paul can play a big role on the page as the heir apparant of the intelligent people who also want to give away all their government benefits. We ought to be getting a third person on the collab team, and in this one why don't we all just edit at will and see what the soup is made of when we sit down to eat it. Maybe I'll just get into it at some point in the next day or two and be yelling for RON PAUL, YAY! or not. Al 23:26 (UTC)

Sounds like a plan. Like I said, there is some good stuff in the history so I'm sure we can come up with something. As for what you said about the man himself... I agree with what you are saying, especially the bit about the FED (and who controls it) which is IMO the most important issue. Although I said we don't get him on our TV here, we do get him on our interwebs so I do know a little bit about him. Personally I think his view on abortion is probably the single policy area which will stop him getting elected, which is just as well for his expected life expectancy. ;-) Also... Remind me to kick Mattsnow in the balls for not doing this one previously, or at least doing it now. :-) MrN 00:04, Apr 3

Main page

I'lol'll answer the above later, but I like the main page. Thanks for splashing Bing Crosby all over it - up and down, side to side - it's how he would have wanted it! Aleister 00:50 3-4-'12

Like what you did with the Bing Crosby links. Check out what Mattsnow did on the main page, you've got Crosby leering over at Hilary Duff (as we all do). And mucho thanks for your vote on the UnNews page, another Mattsnow surprise (he nommed it, which made me work on it further). Jeez, I looked at the Ron Paul page, almost hopeless. We can trim (some sections wholesale) and write, and add, but we either ruin it or VFD it. Only two options I can see. Maybe later I'll sink some teeth into it, but only enough so I can save teeth room for popcorn and some soy burgers. Thanks again (Hilary thanks you too, for I'm sure she's proud to be on that page and has no lawyer to say otherwise). Aleister 13:14 3-4-'12

I noticed that she was all smiley about it. :) Per Ron Paul I did not get what the Emperor Of The United States stuff was all about. I do think some of the article will be useful, so no need to VFD IMO. Yea, it needs hacking with a machete (I did so with the intro, but it's still rubbish), and to take a better look through the history... If we have a "goal" for this article it should be that it's appealing to lovers and haters of the guy. The bit about him assassinating Abe Lincoln made me giggle. I agree that it's tricky to do "theme" style articles as collabs, but... maybe go down the route of writing it in as though it was a hit piece written by the FED? Comparing him to JFK and pointing out about his lack of family values, womanising and 4,000 eliminate children? MrN 13:30, Apr 3

Good, I'm totally open to you setting the entire theme and working within it (maybe I'll do a section of stuff to tack on after that). Ah, the emperor. Soon after I arrived here I found the U.S. Emperor page, and The Humbled Master had Nixon coming back in spirit and inhabiting Ron Paul, which I thought was unfair, so I wrote up a scenerio on the U.S. Emperor page where Nixon - in the body of Ron Paul - hands the emperorship over to Sinead O'Connor. THM didn't like that, and we had a little edit war which was like one edit every few months, but I didn't think Nixon should continue to hold on to it. I still have the page on my linklist (I keep my "watchlist" on my user page, and then just check the "Related changes" button every couple/few days). Anyway, if you set the theme I'll be comfortable working within it, and it sounds good so far. Now I "have to" go work a little on that page you VFD'd and I voted save on, a happy grrrrrr. Al 17:20 3-4-'12

I kinda follow what you are saying... but do we keep the Emperor thing or not? The lobotomy thing also needs to go IMO. Good luck trying to fix Northampton! :P MrN 17:52, Apr 3

Emperor? I'd say no, a thousand times no, let Nixon rest in peace and Paul rest in his niece. I don't know what the lobotomy thing is, the page was too random to read. I'd suggest you just lay out the theme and we can all - if we get that third team-member - work away to our heart's content (but not today, please, not today, well, okay, maybe today). I can't fix Northampton, and will just try to dazzle it up with cuts and liquor and then nobody will notice how bad it is. But I'll put more into it, just for the sake of the one Northamptoner who will someday read it. Aleis'r 18:04 3-4

Supreme Court

Hi. If I can whore up a tenth or eleventh vote on the Supreme Court page, do you think you can toss it on the que for tonight? Main reason I'm asking is that it's the first story on UnNews as well on the main page, and the same Hilary Duff pic would be used (it's the only safe pic on the page) on both the feature and the UnNews column. That's be cool. If so, is there some way to reverse the pic, so she's coming at ya from both sides lol? Thanks. If so, I'll continue whoring (I asked X if he'd look at it). Aleister 20:37 4-4-'12

p.s. Xamralco voted aye! My evil plan for Hilary Duff can be complete if only... Thanks. Have to get a tatochopper to reverse her pic if this occurs. Bah ha ha, ah, Hilary, me pretty. 20:47

Don't count on me doing any editing of pictures, but I should be around in a fews hours to add the next FA. The queue is low, so I'm not jumping to add anything right now. Wanting to have Hilary Duff both ways also sounds very reasonable, although obviously if a new UnNews is written it would go at the top. No harm in keeping the pic there for a while though, and if someone wanted to invert the image so she was looking at herself it might be cool. MrN 20:53, Apr 4

Pic wss inverted by the genius Xamralco. So the one on the page would be the one on the feature too, as the reverse one is now on the unnews. Wait, someone is here to talk to you. Al 20:55

MrN, it'd be so raving cool to be the girl smilin' and carryin' on on both sides of the page. Pleeeeeese, MrN???? I'll name my second baby after you, if it's a boy, and MsN if it's a girl. Your friend, Hilary

She'd be more looking out, hands on her hips from both sides. I've been laughing about this for a half hour or so. I'll ask Mattsnow that if he moves an unnews onto the main page (I haven't checked what the newest ones are) if he could leave the picture for a day or two. A couple days ago I was having a hard time typing because on the main page was a perfect pairing of pictures as Bing Crosby was obviously leering, due to the angle of the pics on the page, at Hilary Duff and she was all smiley about it. lol now. Anyway, I'll have to do something with the Duff pic. And did you check out my recent addition to the Supreme Court unnews. They made it totally legal for the police to stripsearch anyone stopped for any crime or law broken. Stripsearch! It's a good time to zap it to them like that, in all seriousness, as best we could anyhow. Stripsearch! Aleister 21:40 4-4-'12

The Patriot act actually does give the police the power to stripsearch anyone stopped for any crime, so it's not really a joke. ... She needs more votes! She is still not the top article? We can do this FA - picture thing any time, so it does not have to be tonight right? I would rather not jump the queue especially as those poor other articles have been waiting their time. Is there a reason I have missed for why it needs to be tonight? MrN 21:57, Apr 4

Oh Fuck, I did not know it wasn't the top voted article, I thought it was. Please ignore everything above. Thanks. Al 22:20 4-4-'12

We can tease her for a change! Maybe she gets to play tonight, maybe tomorrow. Anyway, I'm off to wash my hair. MrN 22:23, Apr 4

Vandal alert!! Vandal alert!!

Just go on recent changes. Mattsnow 02:48, April 5, 2012 (UTC)

Hey

Since there hasn't been an UnSignpost in about a month, a wrote a pretty jokey one for today. Could you please program MrN9001 to deliver it for me? Thanks. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:51, April 5, 2012 (UTC)

Lol. Yes. MrN 20:31, Apr 5

Thank you! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:41, April 5, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost 5 April 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now a major monopoly run by Xamralco

April 5th, 2012 • Issue 162 • Xamralco edition

Xamralco By Xamralco Hello, fellow Uncyclopedians. It is I, Xamralco, here to tell you that I have temporarily taken over the UnSignpost. However, being as inexperienced as I am, I have no idea how to put an UnSignpost together. Thus, for today, the UnSignpost will be about me, the greatest Uncyclopedian ever! More Xamralco Also by Xamralco Look, I know I'm awesome. My mom knows I'm awesome. Even my kindergarten, first grade, and ninth grade teacher, Mrs. Matthews, knows I'm awesome. It's just a fact, but I'm all about being fair, so lets see what the people say: “Ehh... He's alright.” ~ Pretty much everyone on Xamralco I guess "alright" is now a synonym for "Soooooooooo freakin' awesome." Who knew? Even More Xamralco Still by Xamralco I am super, duper rad. I know no one says that anymore, but I'm bringing it back. It is Xamralco who brings back the rad fads. Xamralco will also bring back talking in the third person. Xamralco loves talking in the third person. I sometimes enjoy talking in the first person, but you find talking in the second person far more fulfilling. Still, Xamralco thinks talking in the third person is quite entertaining. Must fill up blank space By Xamralco Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Crap, that wasn't enough By Xamralco How does ChiefjusticeDS make it look so easy? Oh well. Xamralco out!

Check out these pages! User:Xamralco User talk:Xamralco Special:Contributions/Xamralco User:Xamralco/sig User:Xamralco From our logs: 10:07, April 5, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:Cartoonsushi.png" 10:07, April 5, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:Japanflag.jpg" 16:44, April 4, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:0303 hilary duff b.jpg" 17:05, April 3, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:Rick cross.jpg‎" 18:11, April 2, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:Rickhalo.jpg‎" Biopic of the Week Xamralco first proved himself worthy of being bestowed the title, "Honorary Human Being" by the Queen earlier this year after doing some really awesome stuff. He has joined Uncyclopedia only to become the most beloved editor in history. Fellow Uncyclopedians, NotXamralco and Xemrelco (which have no relation to the person in mention) have even called him a "comic genius," and he has been awarded tons of real awards, including "Xamralco of the Month," "Xamralco of the Year," and "Xamralco of the Week." Old-school Talk page Hello, Xamralco, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you: Beginner's Guide Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends How to be funny and not just stupid If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these: About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. (more...) Newsroom UnTune of the Week The Xamralco Song Xamralco is cool Which is why he's writing about how cool he is.

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9001(bot)    20:40, Apr 5

Ron Paul

Although I've tried to get into the mood, I just can't feel it. How about you? If you feel the same way let's still continue to delete and edit it, but not for the competition. I just don't feel like going whole article-driven writing-mood into it for four days. But if you say "let's stay the course Al" I will put some energy into it. Feels like a task that isn't calling me though. Aleister 23:55 5-4-'12

I feel exactly the same. :( Basically I think that the guy deserves something "special" which I can't come up with right now. I will tidy it up more, and loose most of the idiocy/hater/fanboy stuff but I agree about the not feeling it vibe. Without a strong concept and without the idiocy/hater/fanboy stuff there is not a lot to work with... What we need to do is... Get Matt to edit it loads and then attack it after he has had his way with it. Ron would love that. MrN 00:17, Apr 6

I saw what you did there. Unfortunately, I'm too busy praising Mr. Santorum at the moment! Mattsnow 14:25, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

Ron Paul can't win! MrN 15:22, Apr 6

I wonder if Obama will be so smug as to keep his "Change we can believe in" slogan. That really would be hilarious! Mattsnow 15:58, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

And on the third day

Silence fell. Nominally Humane! 02:10 06 Apr

If you catch any, keep it. Apparently it's golden, so it's got to be worth a fortune. MrN 15:22, Apr 6

And on the third day, Promises iz promisez

I didn't even get any of that from the Data page, I'll have to read it as carefully as you analyzed it. You promised the feature spot for Supreme Court either two days ago or yesterday, so I'll renew my case for it. On numbers strength, it's been the top page for days. The pic has been organized and Hilary is sitting pretty waiting. And the promise, that's the word of a gentleman (not me or you, some random gentleman). Thanks, if this has convinced you to toss it the que for this fine evening. Aleister 21:05 6-4-'12

Hea, I may have totally imagined all the "important" references to all the serious stuff, but I guess even if I did then it still works. I seriously find this article the funniest thing I have seen on Uncyc for years. I can still go back to the page, start reading, and burst out laughing again. For me it just works in so many ways. It's possibly a dude who normally edits at ED. It's a use account just used to create this one article. I tried to add to it and expand it, but I just can't write in that style. No way near... .. Supreme Court is not quite (currently) at the top of the queue, but I will leave it an hour or so before I do the FA. I will make sure that the pic we want is used, or you could even leave a comment in the article to tell the admin which pic you want in-case it's not me who does the FA. Oh. User:MrN9000/Fat americans is one of my fav saves. :) MrN 21:18, Apr 6

First things second. First, I reread the page and you are totally right. I'm impressed with the page and with your seeing it for what it was. It went over my head, but I still laughed and laughed. We must analyze it sentence and word by word and sentence, like in an Engliah class. As for Supreme Court, may I submit, as if I were in front of the Supreme Court (I once had a four-minute stare down with Justice Anthony Kennedy, at least 2 1/2 minutes seemed like four, when I sat in the first spectator row of the court which is pretty close to the judges). The 11 compared to 11 1/2 for the other high numbered page is also 39 days compared with 8 days. And it is the "highest" rated page on percentages (I don't even know how those are calcuated). I rest my case (a pool-cue case, velvet on the inside, faux leather on the outside) and submit that promises iz promizes. Aleister 21:25 6-4-12

Like I said, I just laughed a lot also, which is the main point. :) Um. I can add both of them to the queue at the same time, but is there a reason why one article needs to be FA tomorrow rather than the next day? Did we promise her anything? I don't remember! MrN 23:24, Apr 6

Yes, yes, a thousand... anyway, the UnNews has been on top of the que for 7 days, and it'd be great to get a screenshot of the two pages on top the que with Hilary on each of them. I can then make up an award to give out, The Full Hilary. You have two awards, I want to finally create one. If another story edges out the UnNews it's ruined. And.... yes, you promised two days ago or yesterday it'd be featured, and .... sigh. Aleister 23:54 6-4

I'm not sure what I promised to do or where I promised it, but that would not be the first time that's happened. You did say to forget it when you realised that it was not at the top of the queue, but I do get what you are saying, and it's only 0.5 so I'm sure no one will mind, especially as it's you requesting this, and it's not your article. I will do it now. MrN 00:02, Apr 7

Um. I was wrong about some of that, but what the hell. I will do it anyway... MrN 00:04, Apr 7

Thanks mucho. It's hard being a pimp (or what's the song's name?). Oh, back in this thread a bit you said three days ago it would be featured that day, or the next, which was yesterday, that's what I meant. Pics or it didn't happen (I don't know how to sceensave, and will ask around. T again. Al 00:09 7-4-'12

Tell me that doesn't look nice!! Thanks! Aleister after 00:00

I'm sure I said maybe :P Anyway apparently Newt Gingrich has just nipped into the back room to relive himself. MrN 00:19, Apr 7

Semantics. "Maybe she gets to play tonight, maybe tomorrow" you're tecnically right, so my bad, but I'm morally right, as that sentence sounds like either/or. Then you were off to wash your hair. I hope it's dried by now. Can you grab a nice screensave for me, of the front page and of the "Current events" (UnNews) page, and put a File name on it? Nobody else is around to ask. I owe you one or two, so you can collect anytime (like the Godfather calling upon the people asking him a favor, and then the next thing you know the fucker wants you to kill his dog or something) If I can get a good pic I can make an award of some kind to hand out, maybe the first one to Funnybony which would be fun(nybony). Aleister 00:27 7-4-'12

You know, guys, I'm not really following this. -- Qzekrom (talk) 00:53, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

How could you. You are obviously Chinese or something. Al 00:56

I have a 10 pint minimum limit for kissing dogs. :) ;). Relax Qzekrom. Everyone here is permanently baffled, and everything else is just an elaborate series of bluffs and misdirections. MrN 00:57, Apr 7

Ugh... why didn't Watson get a summer job here? I could really use his help -- Qzekrom (talk) 13:53, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

Data Protection Act

@MrN9000: I was just trying to help out when I expanded the article a little. I'm also managing +1s to that article. --alkies 23:17, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

• Oh, that was my +1 template (User:Qzekrom/+1) --alkies 23:18, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

That's cool. I know that you were trying to help improve it! I just wanted to keep the ending as it was that's all. I actually don't think this article can be expanded much, but you are welcome to try again if you like, but as it's now on VFH, it's probably best not to change it too much. As for your template, that's probably not a good idea. I may be wrong, but I doubt many people will like that being put onto lots of articles. Take care. MrN 23:29, Apr 6

I have a feeling that Lyrithya incorporated something similar into the vector skin. (I don't use it so I'm not 100%, but we did have long conversations about the relevant link to add to twitter/Facebook/reddit and a bunch of others.) Nominally Humane! 11:54 06 Apr

Me no comprendo what you are talking about. -- Qzekrom (talk) 23:58, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

Spang did the older voting system which we abandoned due to it not working. What we are saying is that people have tried this before dude... The voting thing on pages. People are dicks. That's the problem. ...and advantage if you happen to like such things. MrN 00:14, Apr 7

Actually, I see what has happened now. There used to be a drops own thingy on the vector skin next to the new section tab. It has since been removed. We can probably add something in as a "user option" in js to include this. I'll work on it soon. (I have a bundle of these on the Microsoft knowledge base article, btw.) Nominally Humane! 01:35 08 Apr

Please

Take Rick Santorum off VFH since the rules laid out in the forum don't allow that. We will put it on VFH in a timely fashion. I'll also send a message to the nominator. Basically, we'll stick by the rules we made. We'll nom it on the 10th. Mattsnow 23:33, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

Sure. MrN 23:43, Apr 6

Thanks. We're still awaiting for, say, people that said they were gonna do something about the Ron Paul article, to say, maybe do something about it, since they have the best subject ever, but say, we'd like some competition on the 10th, since, say, it's gonna be the first competition judged by VFH in the whole history is what I'm saying... Just saying what some people say, knowhansay? I'm drunk. Mattsnow 23:49, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

Hea! I edited him a bit today! Blame Aleister! MrN 23:52, Apr 6

March top 3

It's ridiculous how low the number of votes are, as you can see: Uncyclopedia:Top10 12/Mar Maybe a header telling people to go vote would be great? Also, I just finished one which I'm a bit proud of, and I got rid of my whoring guilt: Earth's Children, Go give it a read if you like! Mattsnow 22:00, April 8, 2012 (UTC)

Good idea. Sorry it took me a while to get around to it. MrN 08:28, Apr 11

VFS

Or some reason I thought is was the 12th when I wrote that, hence the attempt to extend. Was half asleep and by the time I woke up you'd fixed it. And I may be an egotistical jerk, but... I thought that sentence was going somewhere then, but it eluded me. Nominally Humane! 12:26 11 Apr

My rv was not aimed in your direction, if you look again, you can see that it was MrEx I was reverting. Anyway, I'm the most egotistical person around here, and if anyone else thinks otherwise they are wrong because I know best. MrN 14:47, Apr 11

God

I seem to recall that there is a way to export a page, and then edit the history and re-import it. I've never done it before, and have no idea what I'm doing if I do this. This seems to be the best option for creating God (historic) and keeping the edit history intact. Did you want to have a crack at it? Nominally Humane! 01:35 11 Apr

The issue is more that there is one edit history and now two articles. It is possible to "split" a page by huffing it, recreating part of it, moving that, and then re-creating from history again. That is probably what you are thinking of. If/when God is FA I will do something like that with it. MrN 14:45, Apr 11

It's on feature queue for tomorrow, which is why I brought it up. I'm going to have to experiment with this Special:Import at some stage. Nominally Humane! 02:55 11 Apr

Oops. It's on the front page now! I will sort something out, when it's no longer on the front page. The edits will be split between the old version and the new, so it's probably best to leave it as it is while it's on the front page and do the move thing when it's not. Thanks for reminding me. MrN 14:57, Apr 11

No probs. And so it is. I really should visit the main page more often. Nominally Humane! 03:05 11 Apr

Hang on... Which version do you think we should make current at God (historic)? Maybe the old FA version, but was that the best "old" version, maybe just before the colonisation started? Or maybe we need to look for the best version which might be in-between those. Also, which page history goes where... I can sort something out here, so if you are not exactly sure don't worry I can do something, but... Hmm... I'm starting to understand why this is not such a great idea. I wondered if you had any suggestions? MrN 11:12, Apr 12

I missed this response. No, I don't. Bet you're glad I responded now. Nominally Humane! 11:26 17 Apr

Delivery?

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/20120412? Nominally Humane! 12:59 12 Apr

Dammit. I'm actually at my girlfriends house at the moment and don't have MrN9001 with me. I will be able to do it tomorrow if you can't find anyone else to do it before then. Sorry. MrN 11:06, Apr 12

Girlfriend? Are you sure you're an Uncyc admin? Nominally Humane! 11:48 12 Apr

What's a girlfriend? --ChiefjusticePSX 11:53, April 12, 2012 (UTC)

I think it's like a sock that doesn't tire your arm out. Nominally Humane! 12:05 12 Apr

ough==Ron Paul== Hello. You did a good clean up on Ron Paul. I haven't read it as yet, and wanted to know if you thought it was feature worthy yourself. If not, like you said awhile back, maybe Mattsnow would like to dive in on it, one of his favorite topics. After the Rick Santorum article is featured then the contest is over, and Paul is fair game again. I enjoyed the story of everybody nomming Rick Santorum and it kept getting pulled off of VFH. Rand Paul! Aleister 1:48 12-4-'12

Well, the clean up was a combined effort from the both of us. But as you say it was not really a lot more than a clean up, and IMO it needs more attention and is probably not FA worthy currently. I put more effort into the introduction and early sections than I did into the later parts, but possibly it all needs to be re-structured. The later sections especially need work although there is some good stuff there. I don't have a lot of time to edit right now, but if anyone did want to try to improve it now (even while it's on VFH) I don't think that would be a problem, especially as it looks like the nom might fail based on the current state of the article. MrN 11:06, Apr 12

That page is bad, and boring to work on. He's boring, but he has good things to say. Maybe Mattsnow is open now to work on the page, he will bring enthusiasm to it that I don't have. Matt, come and rescue old man Paul from the scourges of apathy! Aleister 20:24 14-4-'12

I agree. It's actually rather good how well it's come out considering that neither of us really had that much motivation to work on it. You know it's sometimes really awkward and such to say such things, but I almost consider that your last edit should (possibly I don't really know or care that much either) be reverted. I totally agree with your views and such, and but actually think that maybe the crazy section and the stuff about the metallic head being exposed actually worked in this situation. Well, it spiced it up a bit. Also, there was a wiff of Ron Paul Fan or whatever added which was out of contrast with the tone of the rest of it. Anyway, like I said I don't really mind, so leave it if on second thoughts you think I'm talking shit. I have no idea why I keep using italics perhaps because I feel a bit like I'm speaking out of turn or something, but also because you pissed on my chips and I wanted to vote you for VFS. I got my gold boobs out and everything. MrN 20:34, Apr 14

Please, it's your page, revert or change the entire thing at will. If I met Ron Paul I don't even know what I'd say to him. How about Mattsnow? Oh no, but thanks, I would be a horrible admin in terms of doing anything. It would seem too much like reporting in for work, no way. You even say sometimes it feels like work, and that's when to draw back. I'd be drawing back quicker than others have, and some of them don't do anything anymore, even write. Thanks for thinking of me though. Al'er 20:44 14-4-'12

I'm not sure it's my page, but thanks. I might put it back. A lot of people have voted on it with the crazy section in. I should be able to do some kinda a merge or something with the current version. As for being an admin. I figured it out. ;) It's just the same as being a user. Don't do anything you don't want to do. The "problem" is that when you are an admin you get more of the "I should do this" and maybe the expectancy feeling, so sometimes you end up sorting out something you would rather avoid. Like Modus said somewhere recently though... Admins are not as big as they used to be, and that's probably a good thing. Also... Have you noticed how recent changed is running so nicely now that it's VFS season. Amazing how a good old VFS gets the blood pumping... VFS is not a distraction, it's a dam good thing. If I were an admin I would have only 1 new person a VFS, but have them more often. Sysops only to vote in the "do we need em" stage, then 2 votes for everyone to choose to the final stage and then 1 vote per sysop to op the new sysop. Why the hell I'm ranting to you about this now I really don't know. Probably because I know I don't have the motivation to try to get everyone else to agree. Mostly because I want to write about the moon. :) MrN 21:00, Apr 14

Aye, the time to write about the moon is when you want to write about the moon - confuseus, 625 b.c., on the event of his first cooking bread Aleister 21:05 14-4-'12

Confusesus he say: "Check out this link! It's what MrN is watching now" One day I will put together a huge wiki style list of hundreds of internet links. One day... :) MrN 21:19, Apr 14

That's a list I'd like to file away for a look through once in awhile. I don't have flash on my computer, and websites keep wanting me to load up some. You Tube wants Adobe Flash 11.2. Gone for a time, food calls me with its siren song. Aleister 22:24 14-4-'12

UnSignpost - Free Pixels Inside!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

83.54% more reliable than The Daily Mail

Apr 12th, 2012 • Issue 163ish • The newspaper used as insulation by discerning homeless

Nobody panic. Everything is fine. By PuppyOnTheRadio In a precedented move, USP has handed the reigns over to somebody new in order to ensure it's timely delivery. USP has had a fine tradition of coming out regularly on a weekly basis since it's creation, and the handing of the reigns to Xamralco PuppyOnTheRadio whoever is willing to take it will guarantee that nobody will ever miss an issue again. In the meantime, the news continues to happen. VFH is in the healthiest state that it has been over the past 7ish years, as we are constantly reminded by the site banner, which is updating as regular as clockwork. The top three features articles of March is proving to be a hotly contested title, and is shaping up to be the first month in history where every article is likely to be in the coveted top position. And we have a strong consensus that there is no need for new admins, however we have a record number of potential admins nominated. Everything is fine.  More Stuff By Xamralco Sadly, I will no longer use the UnSignpost to talk about how great I am. Instead, the UnSignpost will return to its original purpose: Telling you about what's happening on the wonderful website known as Uncyclopedia. As Puppy mentioned before, ChiefjusticeDS has left his position as head editor and all hell has broken loose everything is running quite smoothly. In other news, the Great Republican Write-a-thon is coming to a close. If you haven't heard, a Canadian dude and some schmuck who knows nothing about American politics are co-hosting a writing competition that will assess which team of Uncyclopedians can write a better article about a selected 2012 Republican presidential candidate nominee. Strangely, these same two doofuses have also submitted an entry, something which most certainly should have been against the rules. Nevertheless, articles on all four candidates were put up on VFH (which is serving as a judge), though the Mitt Romney article immediately failed since no one bothered to rewrite it (which is mildly entertaining considering he's leading at the moment). And now, some cheese: No, that wasn't random... Everybody panic. Nothing is fine. By Magic man In an emergency spur-of-the-moment move, the USP has forced the burden of writing it each week onto another innocent soul in order to ruin their lives like so many others. USP has had a fine tradition of not coming out since 1974. USP has decided to hand the blood-stained reigns to dick-hole ass-face whoever it is forced upon in order to guarantee it will never come out again. In the meantime, the terrible news continues to depress us all. VFH is running as slowly as the plumbing in my house and actually has negative six entries. However, the site banner seems to want to shove lies down our thoats. This is probably on account of the fact that it is only editable by lying, cheating, inbred bastards that can't seem to update the fuckin' thing. The top three featured articles of March is proving to only be winnable if you suck the right person's dick, and is shaping up to be just like all the other months ever: uninteresting. And a record number of people were forced to vote that they want more narcissistic assholes, however not one single person has been nominated, as there are no users left. Nothing is fine.

Check out these pages! Zombiebaron There is a cabal Wikia can't touch this █████ From our logs: 22:06, April 10, 2012 PuppyOnTheRadio  (Talk | contribs) blocked Xamralco (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Trying to steal USP from me) 22:06, April 10, 2012 PuppyOnTheRadio  (Talk | contribs) blocked Xamralco (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Hang on... I can't block you. ) 22:06, April 10, 2012 Xamralco (Talk | contribs) blocked PuppyOnTheRadio  (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinity ‎ (No you can't. Bwahahaha!) Biopic of the Week PuppyOnTheRadio should be mentioned in here, as he used to write USP for a short period while UU was away, before he came back and Chief took it over. But he is a talentless hack, so ignore him.  Word of the week, provided by: a user Xamralco 1: (n) Someone who takes a post that somebody else has already volunteered for 2: A publication produced with excessive mention of one individual.  Newsroom UnTune of the Week I Like Cats (The Other White Meat) This is the end of Xamralco references in the UnSignpost We wouldn't want to take away Zombiebaron's thing after all. What's in the stars this week Pisces In your stars this week is a significantly large mass of plasma burning at extraordinarily high temperatures. They are held together by immense gravitational force and continue to burn as a result of a significant nuclear reaction. Due to their distance from the earth however most of them look like tiny pinprick points of light in the night sky, and are not visible during the daylight hours due to ambient light. Celebrity stars Vincent Van Gogh painted a starry night, but he was crazy and put lots of odd swirls in things. Lucky numbers 1, 7, 10, and 13 are all happy numbers, which is lucky for them.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

-- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:51, April 12, 2012 (UTC)

You made the right choice on the road to happiness...

...and voted for my "Above Top Secret" page. Many things you've always wanted will now come your way, and fun will be your middle name (change it legally if you want). Thanks! Aleister 18:11 15-4-'12

Oh, I was always going to vote for it. Just wanted to put it off for a bit because I think it's going to get a very good score. VFH has perked up a bit (death nail) which is good. Things are looking up! I will take a good look through all the links in the article when I get done with my current investigations. There is still a link on youtube to Uncyc recent changes as a result of my article which is cool. I wonder if that means it will stay there on youtube, and what has to happen to make that happen again. I'm really into this linking Uncyc to and from other places on the web as it's got to be good for bringing new users in.

Your article, and how you correctly created a forum with the community related to it, and then represented Uncyc was very "Uncyclopedian". In fact I want to award you my most prestigious award (User:MrN9000/NotPants) but as you have already won my other award I'm (unfortunately) unable to issue it to you at this time. Although you are awesome as demonstrated by recent awesomeness, you are not (yet) as awesome as Gerrycheevers and Hyperbole who are currently the only two people with sufficient awesomeness enough to have won both.

What we need is... A template to go on talk pages for external links showing where that page is linked from. A template like that should encourage people to do all sorts of good things. I need to go badger Socky. He's good with Templates. Wait! Puppy! You can do it! Or any of you other lazy buggers who are stalking me! Don't pretend you can't hear me I know you are reading this! I can't be bothered to do it... Al is not up for it... It would help people have a motivation to mention and link Uncyc from off the wiki... "He guys look I linked us from here". --That's cool... Who will do it??? MrN 18:46, Apr 15

Thanks for all the nice compliments. I will try to put up another thread at ATS when the page is featured, but it may get closed and directed to the original thread. You gave me an idea, maybe I'll send my first message to an admin there and tell them about the feature when it happens, and see if they do any linking thing. Other website cross-over seems like a good way to go when it can be done, and even wikipedia should put links to pages (like my James Bevel page, that has historical information on it that even the wikipedia page doesn't have, fuck them royally, if I may coin no term). We should try to do some wikipedia links or add pages in their off-site sections on articles. The Bevel page, History of Great Britain, maybe quite a few of Romartus's pages actually, and maybe we can pick an even dozen and see what happens when they are linked there. Hmmmmmmmm. Aleister (19:05, a very good year) 15-4-'12

this is me on Wikipedia trying to convince them to link to Uncyc more. It's a long read but might amuse you, although it ends up exactly as you would expect it does. The fish puns article which UU and me did for example is number 2 hit on google for "fish puns". It's a free-publicly available, open source, open whatever you like, great, perfect link for wikipedia as an example of the style of humour. But... It's on Uncyc so... No. I would totally support anyone who tried again. MrN 19:18, Apr 15

I would make that template but I can't hear you. Nominally Humane! 02:22 16 Apr

this may also be of interest. I love the justification for Guildwars immediately above doesn't occur to anyone. And I also love the it can be changed argument. You'd think being a wiki they may have heard of permalinks. Nominally Humane! 02:43 16 Apr

Dammit there I was thinking someone had made User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself. With some clever use of categories and maybe some DPL code we could do all sorts of cool shit if we had a User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself Yea Puppy. WP sucks. Go try again if you fancy it, and good luck if you do. I think we probably have more chance of making more of an impact on YouTube actually. That's where we want to be linked from... Did I mention that we are now linked from here? I did. :) ... I still don't know why or how to make that happen again. MrN 14:56, Apr 16

NO ONE IS LISTINING! Puppy wont let me vote! Leave me alone you guys! Wait. No one is listening to this anyway. I'm talking to myself! Who are you guys anyway, and what are you doing in my bedroom? Where did this fucking goldfish come from? MrN 15:16, Apr 16

I read lots of the wikipedia discussion thread then woke up and came here. As I understand it if the page adds accurate data to the topic it may be allowed. Ta da, James Bevel. I can say that I've mined the depths of the main writer of that article and he added things to a rough draft and subsequent changes that are not sourced but accurate. Maybe one of you can try to add the page as an external link, with a note that it is a satirical wiki site, and we can see if anyone comes to the rescue on the talk page if it's removed. Poor Bevel died in 2008, and so isn't around to give his comments on the uncy page, and at last look we haven't heard from his daughter either. Aleister 15:17 16-4-'12

If anyone is going to try to convince WP about allowing more Uncyc links then I suggest that using Uncyc as an example of humour styles might be a good start. MrN 15:25, Apr 16

I'd already thought about Bevel for exactly that reason. Problem is that you're not classed as a reliable source, and your article doesn't quote your sources. We also can't claim that your Bevel article is the truth either, as that then draws it out of the parody banner and puts it into the open for libel banner. Even if Bevel's estate didn't sue, it creates a grey area. We are protected by our "content-free" nature, but doomed over at WP for the same reason. (Yeah - I have spent too long looking at this from every angle. As much as Otterathome is a cum-gobbling wanker^{[citation not needed as obvious parody]}, he actually has a valid point in that regard.) Nominally Humane! 05:46 16 Apr

Good legal points, you must have lawyer in you. As does the cgw. So is it back to MrN's idea of adding pages from uncy - maybe HTBFANJS and others - as external links of articles on types of humor (the pun one again too, as lots of that discussion was in 2008 and times may have changed). And Qujezom or whatever his name, he linked to a forum there where he linked back to uncy, and that link showed up with a huge warning. Is Wikipedia having a general "Don't go to uncyclopedia" code built in to links to us there? Aleister 18:04 16-4-'12

I feel used. Nominally Humane! 03:24 17 Apr

Ahh. User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself That's just the kinda thing. Now if only I could figure out how it worked... MrN 03:29, Apr 17

What should we call this template? MrN 04:52, Apr 17

{{MrN is a lazy bastard}}? Nominally Humane! 04:59 17 Apr

I don't think the DPL code will work if there are spaces in the template and cat names. {{MrNisalazybastard}} is not as catchy and does not cut it. We need a name for this thing also. I guess I can move it all to the Uncyclopedia namespace at some point. MrN 05:04, Apr 17

DPL should work for Category:MrN_is_a_lazy_bastard, when written in that format, even if the orgianal has spaces. What would be the purpose of the DPL though? A includeonly category will generate a listing. Stick the template in into maintenance templates cat, and the includeonly cat into some maintenance type category. Unless there's an intention behind this I've missed. Nominally Humane! 05:45 17 Apr

I thought it was illegal to stick things into cats these days. I don't really understand what you are saying or how we can get something like this without using DPL. I want the parameter entered on the template on the page to appear on the list so there is one place where we can view all of them. If you know a better way to do it... Go for it! I'm hoping you can understand what I'm trying to do, and I don't mind how it's done. MrN 05:52, Apr 17

So it's User:MrN9000/thing and User:MrN9000/Sandbox1/Tester2 currently. I'm not sure what you are doing with User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself. How does that help me get this User:MrN9000/thing with the two things? MrN 07:06, Apr 17

Category:Externally linked pages That. Nominally Humane! 07:37 17 Apr

That does not give us one page which lists all the pages with the links from the parameter given... the actual external links and a description. this does. I also don't understand what the checked un-checked stuff is or what you are suggesting it would be used for. I think we have what we need with User:MrN9000/thing and User:MrN9000/Sandbox1/Tester2, though I may be confused and you are showing me something much better. But... I want it to be able to do everything User:MrN9000/thing can (including the parameter from the template). MrN 07:55, Apr 17

That's cool. The "checked/unchecked" was the date added to the template, which says "This was added or last checked for accuracy in this month". I do prefer your variant though, and would probably have gotten there if I knew a bit more about DPL, but it's a weak point for me. The other thingy I did add was the nocat tag, which is fairly obvious. I made it look pretty at least. (And you might as well kill that cat once you've got this worked out to your satisfaction.) Nominally Humane! 08:06 17 Apr

You have helped a lot. Looks a lot less "pants" now. ;) I'm hoping we don't need any kinda checking system. With the DPL list it's possible to list the pages in a few different ways so it's probably possible to keep track of things somehow. I plan on watching the page a lot and I hope others will so it should not be a problem as anyone smart enough to figure out how to use the template will hopefully use it correctly most of the time. User:MrN9000/thing and User:MrN9000/Sandbox1/Tester2 are what I'm going to use, and if you can add anything you did which would help then go for it, but I do think we need DPL. I'm still trying to think of a good name for the page and template. When I get them, I will move em over to the mainspace. MrN 08:15, Apr 17

BBBBBBB

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB Mattsnow 15:02, April 16, 2012 (UTC)

User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself User:MrN9000/That External Links Template Which MrN Wants and is too lazy to make himself

MMM(rN) MrN 15:07, Apr 16

What is this, seriously? Or maybe I'm just nosey Mattsnow 15:21, April 16, 2012 (UTC)

I think Puppy has taken over and is now censoring the internet. It was always inevitable and it's best we all just accept it now. MrN 15:23, Apr 16

Puppy is a CISPA bot. Did you know that Mike Rogers, the guy who introduced this legislation, is the guy that said that Assange should get the death penalty? I found that out yesterday with my 1337 skills. Mattsnow 15:26, April 16, 2012 (UTC)

Well, you can always trust google. MrN 15:30, Apr 16

Or possibly I hit the wrong button? (Fat fingers, small touch screen) Nominally Humane! 05:49 16 Apr

Hi fucker

I was wondering if you could un"huff" (hate that term) this and move it here. I seem to have made a note to myself at some point that this was a half-decent article. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 15:50 (UTC)

We have got this bastard called QVFD where you can list the wankers you want huffed. If you made the fuckup in the fist place say its a "user request". Then the bastard admin knows what the fuck you are talking about. As for those fucking red links above. Fuck knows. MrN 16:12, Apr 16

fuckup in the fist? Nominally Humane! 05:51 16 Apr

The fucking fucker is fucked. MrN 18:02, Apr 16

No, no, no, you "huffed" Spikes. I want the cocksucker restored (with history) and moved to my motherfucking userspace at User:Bizzeebeever/To fix/Spikes, goddamnit. Sorry about the confusion. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 20:48 (UTC)

Thanks Brosephus. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 20:54 (UTC)

Dammed if I know how I missed that before. My bad. Good luck with it. MrN 20:56, Apr 16

Oh, BTW, since you're so cocking special with that magic unhuffing wand, could I beg of you to do the same thing with Steven Spielberg? And I don't mean the most-recently-huffed version, I mean the version that got huffed 12:31, January 22, 2012. I asked Zombiebaron to do it, but I asked wrong, and all I got was a copy, with no history. The version he hacked up is here. I'll do your laundry for a year, if you do. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 21:04 (UTC)

I think that's everything in here now. Is that right? MadMax's edit is probably the last best one. I think there is a wip tag on there which needs to be removed also. MrN 21:10, Apr 16

Yep, yep. Thanks. Also, consider your laundry done within an inch of its life. They don't call me The White Python for nothing. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 21:17 (UTC)

The comp is starting!

Could we whore this in the site header, please? User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Pee Buddy Awards Should we move it so it becomes a forum? Thanks. Mattsnow 20:09, April 16, 2012 (UTC)

Wait. What's a when where now? What about that Forum:Happymonkey's 4th Writing Contest which has a forum and such. That's going to want a link, and we probably don't want 2 comps going at the same time. If that's what is being suggested. I don't know... Yea, you probably need a forum or something also first. I took a quick look at the Pee Buddy page, but don't really understand what it's all about. I have my excuses. Honest. If this is a new thing from Puppy (I don't remember it from before) then it needs a forum. MrN 20:18, Apr 16

The forum's made and the Happy Monkey competition has been moved to a cryptic "sometime in May", as you can see here. So, a header for Forum:First Pee Buddy Awards!? please, sir? Mattsnow 01:48, April 17, 2012 (UTC)

I think there already is one! MrN 01:50, Apr 17

Less is more.

War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. Never forget these things.~Your friendly, unoriginal neighborhood plagiarist.22:04, April 16, 2012 (UTC)

If everyone believes that money is power then why do so many fail to believe that the world is not controlled by politicians, but by those who control money? MrN 22:12, Apr 16

There are people who think the world is controlled by politicians? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 16 '12 22:24 (UTC)

Some of the politicians do. The honest ones, but they are rare. MrN 22:26, Apr 16

Perplexed and aghast, flummoxed and TorJohnsoned, uncringed and bewildered

I was going to say something about your Moon talk page but have said enough. Aleister 11:05 17-4-'12

Say more! Say more! MrN 11:08, Apr 17

I said I said enough. Good day, sir. Aleister 11:14 17-4-'12

Although I recently note on recent changes that your Moon page just picked up its 15th vote, tying a recent recent record for VFH votes (at least recently). Aleister 11:18

If recent changes are anything to go by? I thought what I had on the talk page before I removed it was a little perhaps ...crude?, and that maybe the article itself without the talk page gump was better, but as you have forced my hand in such an aggressive way I have put it back. MrN 11:31, Apr 17

I like to force her hand at times. No, please rechange it (lol), I had read it previously and thought it very intersting. You and I seem to have a little overlap of things which wow us, or I guess most primates like dazzle and weird facts. Recent science news, unless I'm totally wrong, announced it's been proven that the moon is a piece of the earth but was not blasted out by an asteroid crash, so as you had said, nobody knows where the damn thing came from (the only common sense explanation is that it formed at the same time and from the same collection of material as the earth did, but maybe not.) Aleister 11:40 17-4-'12

sol (smiling out loud) - I checked and that's the first use of TorJohnsoned on the innernests, although the hits do come back with Tor Johnson Ed Wood, which when compacted forms the word in what now seems like a pun as well as a description. I best go put it on a page somewhere, so it shows up on the net when billions+ of people in a finite universe goggle it. Aleister I will try not to bother you again, at least for a few minutes or something fun happens, whichever comes first

The isotope decay of the moon rock which was (obviously) brought back from the moon matches that of the earth close enough that they figure it must have been made at the same time, which is why they have the Giant impact hypothesis which has it's Difficulties. They don't think it was stuff spinning around separately forming separate objects of earth and moon. They think it all settled into the earth and then something hit it. The problem is the theory is a very poor theory as it has so many holes. It's just the best we have. MrN 11:56, Apr 17

I should have known a moonie like you would be up on the latest news. I skimmed the section and must sign off soon, will go back to read the whole page later. It seems there are only two explanations for the moon's presence, neither of them adequate. Aleister (UTC)