User:Jetpakturtle

usbx

This user likes to use userboxes.

usbx

This user has been eaten by a grue. Please come again.

GAH

This user is running into problems with their page. Please hold onto your pants.

GAH

This user has no featured articles. They are a failure. Feel free to point and laugh.

∞

This user has written ∞ articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

∞

0

This user has recorded 0 audio files, because they love the sound of their own voice.

0

This user has created 0 userboxes because one liners are easy.

1337

This user is elite.

1337

UBX

This user opposes other users screwing with their userboxes.

UBX

This person helps reduce over-population by killing people, thus helping the environment.

This user is right-handed. In Latin, they would be Dexter.

This user walks down the left hand path. Thus, they would be considered evil by the Catholic Church. (List of left hand path Uncyclopedians)

This user's future is so bright, they've gotta wear shades.

This user's IQ is over ∞.

This user is being held hostage in a Chinese fortune cookie factory! JUMP! 7 million lemmings can't be wrong. Help!

This user is a fish, or at least thinks so.

This user is a lemming, or at least thinks so.

This user is an aeroplane, and can be annoying. No offence to pilots.

This user is either a monarch or a megalomaniac.

This user likes llamas, and rides them on a daily basis.

See? Look at them. They really like the llamas.

No, seriously. That's them there, on the llama. ← See?

Stop scrolling down, and admire the llama. It's much more interesting than the actual userpage, trust me.

What, you don't believe me? Fine, see for yourself. Don't blame me when you die from lack of llama.

Whoa! You made it! Good job! Have some llama love!! Then go away.

+

This user suffers from senioritis, an incurable demotivational syndrome.

+

This user has been approved by Mr Rubber Ducky, have you?

This user is a mutant.

This user is an angel.

This user is a grue, and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?

This user is humping Leon Trotsky's leg.

This user is reading your thoughts!

This user is humping Friedrich Nietzsche's leg.

This user is a paladin. Hide your demons and undead.

This user is POOR, has never passed GO, and never collected $200.

...

This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered.

...

No user serviceable parts inside.

This user is an evil clone of Jetpakturtle.

This user is from Camelot, and eats ham and jam and spamalot!

This user is not a number, they're a free person!

This user is an Asian, and probably lives at an internet cafe playing World of Warcraft 24/7.

id2

This user is addicted to Counter-strike, and would like to blow your face off with an AK-47.

id2

ubx– crapload

This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes.

ubx– crapload

This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.

official

This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here.

official

Eeek!

This user steals userboxes from random people's user pages.

Eeek!

I collect userboxes as if they were trading cards, hoping that they may be collectors items worth something in the future.

This user gots a shovel. Yes he does.

This user is a level 13 Wizard. They see the fnords.

This user is a Taahgaarxian. Run, atheists, run!

This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.

This user is adorable.

This user wants User:Jetpakturtle featured.

Formerly lost among the dregs of society, this user has defected and crossed over from the dark side. Welcome to the machine....

RENT

This space for rent. Lube available. Call 1-800-666-6666.

RENT

Temp	This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.

This user supports the giving away of free iPods.

This user is an evil clown. Fear their evil (yet hilarious) wrath of DOOM!! Other users who are Evil Clowns

[insert content here]

This user couldn't find any userboxes they actually liked.

[insert content here]

This user is a tacky raging puffery that likes to calcify while purple oozing attack pages rinse his queen.

This user is the random petrifying Audi that blessed their mustache inside of your tubes so you must quickly feel them with an arccosine.

Color

This user likes random colored userboxes.

Color

This user can see what you don't!

Sense

This user promotes the radical idea of having sense.

Sense

Awww... how adorable! You made some other user happy, and they left a kiss for you on your page! Keep the good work goin' for some more ;u*

This user is on fire. You can help uncyclopedia by throwing water on their head

This user is WTFWTFWTFWTF
...and EEEEEEEEEEEEPENIS shit and penis! go shit and penis! Ee
(haha)

9/21

This user will never forget the events of 9/21/07; the day Uncyclopedia was huffed by terrorists.

9/21

This user will never forget October 23, 2008; the day that Wikia sold its soul. :-S

This user needs a steady supply of Caffeine. So hand it over . . . NOW. (List of users who NEED caffeine)

This user knows the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

This user believes participation in the consumption of cheese is an exquisite pastime.

WARNING: this user knows Chuck Norris, and therefore must be either Mr. T, Chuck Norris, Oscar Wilde, or dead. Proceed with caution!!!

BK

This user is a Black Knight!!

BK

This user pretends to be an awesome warrior from a mystical land; but is really a sad little nerd person. They take comfort in the fact that you are too.

This user is a terrorist, and is pwning the anti-terrorists by attacking places using shit.

Warning: this user is Ginger, and is liable to explode without warning!

This user is Over 9000.

This user is a bad ass, so treat them wih respect.

I have dyscalculia, meaning I do not understand the average clock. I make up for it by being very good at writing.

∞

This user is ∞ years old. Woop-ti-doo.

∞

∞

This user is an ageless immortal, or so they like to think.

∞

♂

This user is a boy and is made of trucks, trains, and airplanes.

♂

This Uncyclopedian is happy to be 100% straight.

This user identifies as straight, and is probably grossed out by gay PDA.

This user is Single but is currently stalking someone.

This user wishes they had a girlfriend, will you go out with them? I wouldn't.

This user is a Discordian. If you don't know what that means, consult your pineal gland. Perhaps the Goddess will tell you, if She feels like it. Maybe not. She might be in one of Her moods.

This user shot J.F.Kennedy. DON'T TELL THIS USER'S MUMMY!

Big Brother is watching this user...and YOU!

This user believes that Paul McCartney is dead (and has been replaced by a lookalike).

This user knows that criminals are a cowardly lot, and uses fear to fight injustice and those who would prey on the fearful…

Hey, if you see the Police, you should "Warn A Brotha'".

This user is actually not Jetpakturtle. They are an impostor. Get away. Now.

This user is not who you think they are. In fact, they are someone who you think is not them, who thinks they are (who you think is not - who is).

This user believes that "Purple Monkey Dishwashers" are going to take over the world.

This user hates religion, and is a sinner through and through!

This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.

This user is searching for the Cabal. If they go missing, please inform their family.

中共

This user supports the Communist Party of China, but only because because it's our last chance for global communist domination.

中共

This user is a conspirator in the Grand Conspiracy.

This user fights against the squirrels and sporks conspiring to enslave the human species.

JoW

This user is a suspected sockpuppet of Jimbo on Wales, but hasn't been blocked indefinitely because we are not so-called-experts.

JoW

This user knows the truth about hummingbirds and will not rest until the lies have been dispelled.

This user is a member of DiZ's inner circle. Fear them.

This user is a Pudgist and worships weaselpudge, the holiest substance in the Universe. They shall be spared from the Apocalypse.

This user is a sinner, and bows before Satan.

Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page.

Satan loves this user, and will be seeing them in hell shortly.

sub

subliminal!

sub

This user is convinced that any Pegasus is far superior to a Unicorn.

This user is convinced that any Unicorn is far superior to a Pegasus.

This user is a member of the Anti Kitten Huffing Movement.

This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Departure of Fun.

This user has found Jesus, and is therefore no longer a threat to society.

This user is a member of the League of Benson, and therefore admits that Benson is better than themselves.

This user denounces BENSON.

This user is better than BENSON, and is an Anti-BENSON-ite! Muahahaha!

This user worships Ouroboros and joyously celebrates Its return.

Pasta be upon this user.

This user likes welcoming new users to the wiki.

This User a n00b is not, and approves that, Yoda does. If you are a n00b who is looking at this, you have just exploded.

BROTRR

This user is a proud Rigist.

BROTRR

This user is a member of the
Evil Atheist Conspiracy.
"We're after your children and pets."

This user hates telephones. Probably due to the fact that the U.S. government is monitoring them.

free

This user is interested in freethought as they sure as hell don't want to pay!

free

This user monkey understands biological evolution and wishes to evangelise this fact.

NOV

This user is a userbox novice.

NOV

?

This user prefers to be anonymous. That is, numbskull, they don't want you to know who they are.

?

Bad User
This user is an asshole.
Please avoid direct contact.

This user is a geek.

This user is cooler than you.

1337

This user is elite.

1337

ego

This user is a deluded egomaniac.

ego

This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*

This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave them a message »

This user is a drill sergeant and just loves to turn n00bs into real soldiers!

This user has attained a plane of asshattery previously thought unreachable and needs to be cockpunched immediately.

n00b

This user is a n00b.

n00b

MEH

This user redefines lazy!

MEH

This user reserves the right to completely screw up their edits life by spending too much time on Uncyclopedia.

This user has been punished on the Un-Bestiary.

This user should not be trusted.

This user is so awesome they banged your mom last night.

This user can be trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets.

This user hates people that think that their ass don't stink.

This user idolises Dr. House
but since Everybody Lies, you can't be sure how much.

This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because they think that they take things way too seriously over there.

This user believes that admins are control freaks.

NO

This user doesn't care.

NO

Durrr

This user is a fucking Moron.

Durrr

hey!

The above wasn't my fault!

hey!

This user is addicted to video games.

This user is an adventurer.

This Uncyclopedian has the Need for Speed.

This user can drift and beat D.K.

This user believes in the Matrixes and needs to seriously get in touch with the real world (It's actually Matrices)

This user is a demon and has gone into the background. Please summon with :(){ :|:& };:.

LENT

This user would give up Uncyclopedia for Lent if they weren't a serial rapist.

LENT

BEWARE: This user is a random pervert

WARNING: this user is a little floating ass Now get the fuck out!

This user hates Windows Vista and recommends the total destruction of all existing copies.

This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

This user plays Netscape instead of Runescape.

This user surfs the interweb with Opera, but is above petty musicals. Crack on.

This user uses Google Chrome, because it's GOOGLE.

Dialing…
Verifying username and password…
Shit! This user contributes using dial-up!

This user has a Really Lame Password. Seriously, you could probably guess it.

I joined the Folding@home team, because I have nothing better to do with my computer.

This user joined the Folding@home Team, because they give a damn & so should you.

C:\>_

This user contributes using DOS.

C:\>_

This user spends more time with a penguin than with a window.

This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.

This user is a Mac User.
Eat up.
(List of Mac-Using Uncyclopedians)

psst… you're reading this? click here

This user believes in freedom of all types of information for all.

This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians)

This user is an Australian … Strewth! Crikey! Fark! (List of Australian Uncyclopedians)

Ceci n'est pas un Belge
...because Uncyclopedia
frowns upon cursing.

(List of other pas Belge Uncyclopedians)

This user is Brazilian. Orkut! (List of Brazilian Uncyclopedians)

This user is a total UKer
…jolly good, Guv. Bloody good day for it!
(British Uncyclopedians)

This user is a Brit and a Johnsonite

This user is Canadian …and mildly smug about it! (List of Canadian Uncyclopedians)

This user is Chilean …and knows who the owner of Nuts4Nuts is. (Uncyclopedistas Chilenos)

This user is Chinese and proud of their country, made of the blood and flesh of sacrificed Communists.

This user is Colombian …and is smuggling cocaine! (List of Colombian Uncyclopedians)

This user is Cuban ¡all your base are belong to Fidel Raúl! (List of Cuban Uncyclopedians)

This user is Czechoslovakian and can spell better than you! (List of all Czech Uncyclopedians)

This user is a crazy Estonian …who will pwn ya all!! (List of crazy Estonian Uncyclopedians)

This user is €uro …and denies their "real" citizenship
(List of European Uncyclopedians)

This user is Eurotrash and provides a nude cleaning service for 10 €uros.

This user is from Finland …and is sick of saunas (List of Finnish Uncyclopedians )

This user is I nd ia n. They can only talk in Hindi and C++. (List of Indian Uncyclopedians)

This user is secretly training to be a Leprechaun, and believes themselves to be Irish.

This user is Israeli ✡ …along with some angry Jews (List of Israeli Uncyclopedians)

This user is Italian and has great taste in food. (gli italiani)

This user is Kentuckistani …and lives off fried chicken! (List of Kentuckistani Uncyclopedians)

This user is a Kiwi …and will someday earn the respect of the Aussies stole from them!

This user is a New Yorker The Patriots rule suck!! (Uncyclopedians from the greatest city ever!)

This user is not American
…and unabashedly proud of it.
(But they're not saying where they're from in case y'all come and bomb the hell out of it.)
(List of NonAmerican Uncyclopedians)

$\left[{\frac {\mbox{ white }}{\mbox{ red }}}\right]$

This user is from wonderful Poland ...and is out to get your teen daughter! (List all Poles infiltrating Uncyclopedia)

This user is fae Bonnie Scotland - away an boil yer heed

This user is Swedish …and hates going to IKEA! (List of Swedish Uncyclopedians)

This user is Swiss …say cheeeeese! (Your money is in good hands)

This user is TriCanadian …and is damn proud of it! …and is damn proud of it! …and is damn proud of it!

This lad/ lass is from grim nuoth and prard of it.

This user is South African …and therefore keeps elephants as pets.

This user is Greek And if you give them a word, any word, they'll prove to you that it originated from Greek.

This user is Mexican, and has crossed el Río Bravo. They don't understand gringo language.

This user is a militant agnostic and is certain they are uncertain

This user is a skeptical agnostic and doesn't know if they don't know

This user is a militant atheist.

This user is Taoist, and believes in the divinity of all sentient beings. Don't be a dick or they'll kick your ass using Goa Tse Do.

This user is Catholic, and believes articles become featured through good works, not faith.

This user is a Christian (as long as they put a dollar in the box).

This user is a Discordian -- at least in some sense.

This user is a frisbeetarianist, and believes that when they die, their soul will fly up, and get stuck on the roof.

This user is , and probably controls Uncyclopedia in some remote way.

This user is a Jewish-American princess …and you will buy her some new shoes.  (List of all JAPS)

This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled to all honors and persecutions as such.

This user believes in the Noodly Appendage of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.

This user is Mormon and believes all articles will be featured, but there will be 3 levels of VFH. They have a book that could change your life.

This user is Muslim. They believe all articles become featured through submission to the will of Allah.

This user is too pirate for your battleship.

This user is a Pluralist. Because to them, religion is like a buffet, a chance to pick and choose.

This user has been purified.

Mahm00 shite

This user is a follower of Mahm00schism. Bow before them!

Mahm00 shite

This user is a faithfull Cthulhu follower and knows how to pronounce Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

This user is a Communist
& is working on their Lenin mustache! ☭

PEACE

This user is a naturalist, so they dance with the forest animals.

PEACE

$$$

This user is a libertarian, so they are way too stoned to hear you complain, fundie!

$$$

£££

This user is a libertarian, so they are much too stoned to hear you complain, hippie!

£££

€€€

This user is a libertarian, so they are much too stoned to hear you complain, hippie!

€€€

This user is a Jeffersonian libertarian, so he loves not paying taxes.

This user is an objectivist, so they think that Ayn Rand is sexier than Sophia Loren.

This user is an authoritarian and would love to get nasty with a man in uniform.

This user supports the Union of Eurabian Socialist Republics. All hail Bin Laden!

This user supports the Union of European Soviet Republics. (Otherwise known as the EC)

This user supports the European Reich. Heil Hitler!

LV-1	This user considers themselves a n00b gamer and so probably doesn't know what 'noob' means.

LV-2	This user considers themselves an intermediate gamer and so probably has some sort of social life.

LV-3	This user considers themself an advanced gamer and so probably lost their job recently.

LV-4	This user considers him/herself an expert gamer and so begs borrows or steals just enough money to pay for their electricity.

LV-5	This user considers him/herself a professional gamer and so has the worlds highest scores but no job, money, friends or place to live.

DIFF E

This user plays Video Games on the lowest difficulty setting available as winning makes them feel good about themselves.

DIFF M

This user plays Video Games on the default difficulty setting as they simply aren't good enough.

DIFF H

This user plays Video Games on the highest difficulty available because they like to get the most out of their games and thinks you should too! Git Gud everyone!

This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.

Z

This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.

Z

Z2

This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.

Z2

ABYSS

This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.

ABYSS

A x2

This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.

A x2

ABYSS x?,???

This user IS The Abyss.

ABYSS x?,???

TA

This user believes that you can never have too many text adventures on Uncyclopedia.

TA

TA

This user believes there are too many crappy text adventures on Uncyclopedia.

TA

RS

This user plays RunEscape. Laugh at Pray for them.

RS

RSRS

This user no longer plays RunEscape. Congratulate them on their recovery and welcome them back to reality.

RSRS

MMORPG

This user believes MMORPGs are a waste of time and/or money. Furthermore to this fact s/he demands the deletion of all MMORPGs and their players!

This user plays games on a graphing calculator as they live in the Philippines or are extremely weird.

This user prefers to play games on a PC as anything else is too complex.

This user prefers to play games on a laptop as they don't have to stop to go to the toilet.

This user prefers settles for the the original DS model as they have no money.

This user snob prefers the DS Lite over the original DS.

This user prefers settles for the the original DS model as they have no money.

This user owns a slick lookin' Sony PSP Woop-ti-doo...

This user has both the PSP and the DS because they are greedy.

PS2

This user plays on a PS2 because it's just as good as a PS3.

PS2

X	This user plays the Xbox as their 360 is being repaired or they think the 360 isn't worth it.

This user plays on an Xbox 360 as their pretentiousness knows no bounds.

This user can be found on Xbox Live. Their gamertag is {{{gamertag}}} and they mostly play {{{game}}}

This user prefers the Wii as 'it's the game play that counts'.

This user plays games on the Nintendo GameCube as they broke their window with the Wii remote and can't afford another.

This user is a Nintendo fan.

This user plays on a PS3 and probably regrets ever buying one.

This user still enjoys the overrated Sega Dreamcast but doesn't talk about this to anyone but his/her therapist.

This user wastes their life playing games on Steam.

This user kicks butt at Tetяis: not that that's anything to be proud of.

This user owns a Neopet and is strictly using it for raping purposes.

This user is against computer and video game censorship and regulation as they like porn and violence (though not always at the same time).

This user is a Hyrulean warrior. This user has defeated many monsters. They have defeated the mighty Gannon.WARNING: They WILL steal your rupees if you have pocketed them.

This user's mom told them they could sing so they now contribute to UnTunes.

V

This user is a vegetarian, so you should be brandishing a stick of celery at them.

V

This User tries to stop flamewars to protect the O-zone layer.

This user can be found on the Ucyclopedia Frappr.

This user is apart of the offical Uncyclopedia Alliance for Cyber Nations. God help us.

This user is a Disciple of Ducreux. pimps do it in style baby!.

This user is a Marree Man. Drongos just became an endangered species.

This user is an announcer for UnNews because no reputable broadcaster would hire them.

This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.

This User is a zookeeper at the UnBestiary. Don't mind the smell.

This user is a Transformer and has the powers to obliterate you! Be aware of this user's laser cannon.

This User has been officially punished on Un-Bestiary. Learn from their mistakes and don't get flogged.

The Black Knight has never been punished by UnBestiary. Learn from their actions and act like them.

This user is adept at suicide for a small fee. Cool, aint it?

4:20

This user likes to smoke ganja.

4:20

This user edits PUTPBAA, the most organised text-adventure on Uncyclopedia.

This user is a vegan and loooooooves tofu. Please remind them that they'll die if they don't eat animal protein.

This user is a vampire. Please keep him/her out of direct sunlight.

This user is a zombie, and wants to eat your brains.

This user is a miser, and couldn't be happier with their money!

I am an assassin, and can kill you anywhere you go from in the shadows. Fear me!

This user loves Maddox.

This Uncyclopedian claims to have a MySpace: MySpace.com/*******

This user is a Net Authority Violator

This user is cursed, and will lead an unsatisfactory life unless they forward this userbox to 10 friends.

This user is constantly PEEING. They apologize for the mess.

This user is involved in Uncyclopedia Businesses. And you should be too!

This user believes that thare are only 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, & those who can't.

nth

WARNING: Keep away from this user as they love working out nth terms.

nth

WARNING: Keep away from this user as they love the Fibonacci sequence and anything to do with it.

This user loves pi

This user likes to eat anything orange.

This user is a cereal killer.

This user is addicted to taramosalata, tarantulas and anything with lots of 't's and 'a's.

This user enjoys staring at spinning objects, and may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!

This user fears the clowns.

This user is homeless.

This user is a Mad Scientist.

This user is not and has never been Napoleon.

:o

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

:o

This user is a bit of a pyromaniac.

This user has tested positive for IDIOT on the Myers-Briggs Test, really.

Gu

This user thinks dictionaries may have important omissions.

Gu

This user is a complete, irredeemable indefinite block. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and ASPLODE at a dephlogisticated air.

This user will give you a seizure.

This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.

One or more of the authors of this entry was terribly bored. They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit... hey, we should go fly kites. That'd be so awesome! We haven't flown kites, since, like, summer. Hey, summer is when birds come out! Birds are so cool.

You can help by paying for their Ritalin, or finding them a kitten to play with.

This user is a pedophile As such, they may be your priest, your next door neighbor, or the creepy old guy your parents tell you not to talk to.

This user is a serial killer, and they are standing right behind you!!

108

4 8 15 16 23 42 This user watches Lost; and likes it too! they have all the box sets and everything!

108

This user plays bass, because it attracts groupies without the need for excessive rehearsal time.

This user plays the clarinet, which is very similar to the skin flute.

This user loves to play the drums, and usually hangs out with musicians.

This user plays guitar, because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.

This user is a big pianist, and as such believes they are better than all other musicians.

This user plays trombone because positioning a slide is much more simple than pushing down a series of buttons.

This user does the sort of things that only Prince would sing about.

\m/

I am a metalhead; I wear offensive shirts, I headbang to really loud music. I have long hair, but am not a hippie.

\m/

THIS USER IS ADDICTED TO COWBELL, AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

no cowbell

This user has broken their addiction to Cowbell! Long shall they live and prosper!

no cowbell

This User's Favorite Sound is Feedback!

This user listens to indie music, therefore they think they're better than you.

This user is a crazed Beatles fan. (is there any other kind??)

This user really likes Roberto Carlos. The singer, not the soccer player.

This user uses Last.fm to share their shitty taste in music with everybody.

nj

This user is a Ninja, with dominion over everything totally sweet.

nj

This user is a Ninja, with dominion over everything totally sweet.

This user is a Ninja, with dominion over everything totally sweet.

no nj

This user is not a Ninja, with no dominion over everything totally sweet.

no nj

This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay.

This user is fucking magical or something.

This user says "Hi-didly-o neighbourino" to you.

Woohoo!

This user thought that The Simpsons Movie was better than eleven Super Bowls!

Woohoo!

??

This userbox is for people who know, if you wonder what they know, then you probably don't know.

??

AA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!

AA!

Meow!

Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW!

Meow!

Woof!

Woof! Woof! Woof! Ruff! Ruff Ruff! Arf! Arf!

Woof!

Eeek ahk sque'ek uhk kkkk'k squeek!

EBG13-A

Guvf hfre vf n angvir fcrnxre bs EBG13.

EBG13-A

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!

This user does not know how to shot web.

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens.

simp

This user does not like userboxes, and grimaces at the thought of having this abomination on their userpage!

simp

?

Do not underestimate the power of It. Underestimation of the power of It will kill you from the sheer power of It.

?

This user was brought to you by the letters F, U and the number 1.

THIS IS SPARTA!

This user thinks that Mr winkler is GAY, and that he should GET SOME SICK!

This user is not The Thinkerer.

This user likes apples. Or they are one already.

.sdrawkcab si resu sihT
!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN

usbx

This user likes to use userboxes.

usbx

Usb!

No, really!

Usb!

USB!!!!!11

NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!!

USB!!!!!11

This user uses Uncyclopedia as their primary point of reference.

BS

This userpage is bullshit.

BS

IP

Jetpakturtle's IP is 127.0.0.1.

IP

This user is stupid and gay an ambassador of the Spanish Inciclopedia here, in Anglo-Saxon lands.

This user has been blocked ∞ times.

Color

This user likes random colored userboxes.

Color

This user seriously needs to calm down.

[ insert content here ]

This userbox is a filler, and therefore looks ugly.

[ insert content here ]

1+

This user has over 1 edit. Duh!

1+

This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.

This user likes to use redundant userboxes.

This user likes to use redundant userboxes.

This user likes goats. Baaaahaahaahaahhh!

This user wants to pee in Cajek's hat.

This user doesn't trust Wikipedia as far as they can throw it… but nonetheless use it on a daily basis.

This user bought a parrot as it holds a better conversation than most people they know.

This user is owned by one or more cats.

This user owns by one or more cats just so they can keep an eye on them.

This user owns one or more dogs as they need a cover for their stick fetish.

This user owns goldfish as they like interactive screen-savers.

This user takes good care of one or more Tamagotchis because they have no friends and even animals think s/he smells.

This user studies psychology because it's really easy and sounds good at dinner parties.

This user rejects the theory of global warming, or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.

This user is fascinated by chaos theory. Probably, s/he doesn't really know but 'chaos' sounds faintly apocalyptic: bring on the carnage!

This user is interested in Fossils. Some call this necrophilia.

This user tried, really, really hard, to memorise the elements' names and symbols, but can only remember that H is for hydrogen.

I do not believe in evolution, I prefer the alternate theory of Intelligent Design. I cannot go to hell because there is none.

This user is a philosopher.

This user uses public transport and so has most likely been mugged, raped or murdered.

This user wishes you a horrible wonderful Christmas!

This user plays cricket, because it is superior to baseball.

This user plays rugby, because it kicks ass and gets them laid.

This user's head A SPLODE.

.EDOLPS A DAEH S'RESU SIHT

ETP

Help end hunger! Eat the poor!

ETP

This user reserves the right to hunt down and destroy Essex girls.

This user is has killed dozens of American GI's and wants you asshats out of their country.

This user is a Mercenary, and chooses their own wars to fight in.

This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.

This user is a Viking and enjoys killing, looting and pillaging.

This user believes that there's nothing like a proper Jihad to ease your pain

This user has eye beams.

This user has eye beams.

This user believes Barney is evil, and therefore must die.

This user supports the genocide of crappy articles.

This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!

This user is a Sniper and has their rifle pointing at your head.

This user is an Assault Soldier and is pWn1ng n00bs with their quarter gun.

This user is pretty sure Epic Beard Man is their father and is therefore dangerous. (List of Illegitimate Children)

This user is a member of the Uncyclopedian Army. And is pwning vandals for our nation!