Today's featured article
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Edward Christopher "Ed" [insert singular 3rd person subjective pronoun]eran (born 17 February 1991 - died NEVER) is a Canadian-British singer-songwriter, actor, owner of a bar in London, and Rupert Grint lookalike. He is also known as "Teddy" on Instagram. Additionally, he is considered to be the "one true god" of his home country, and even the entire world. Asides from that, he's known to the public as the "Ginger Jesus". Ed is arguably a fad of the year 2017 and also a British nationalist. Even though his career was meant to fade away at the end of the 2010s, he manages to still make music to this day, much to everyone's annoyances. He is known to have a lot of chart hits, especially in the UK, including "The B Team", "Untitled (Take Me Into Your Loving Arms)", "Nothing Happens After Two" and most infamously, "I'm Back & I'm Desperate". However, they are most likely plagiarized, but he still gets away with it. His private life isn't very well known, thanks to having no surveillance cameras in his home and the fact that the address to it is changed every day. Despite having a male given name, Ed somehow manages to have female pronouns as part of his surname, so, logically, he would've instantly became a "she" right away. Oh fuck, how do we go by them again?
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 - ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
- ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
- ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
- ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
- ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
- ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
- ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
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