User talk:Under user/Archive 31

CLEANING CREW! MAKE WAY!

MAKE TALK PAGE SQUEAKY CLEAN SAH! WOULD YOU LIKE SOME EUCALYPTUS SMELL WITH THAT SAH?! ~ Mordillo where is my JACK OFF? 09:30, August 16, 2010 (UTC)

I prefer the smell of the downtrodden masses I walked over to get where I am today, if that's all the same to you. --UU - natter 09:34, Aug 16

Oh I missed it...Damn. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:42 16 August 2010]

Talking of smelly downtrodden masses - how are you doing Yettie? --UU - natter 10:45, Aug 16

Ah, as smelly downtrodden messes go, I'm doing well. I have an article on VFH, for the first time in long! I won't link because of your rather Victorian morality about whores (you know most have no choice?!). Things are well. Things are very well actually. On site and off. My real life has, metaphorically, had hiccups. Although, I recently had hiccups. It was not fun, I can tell you. Talking of not fun, how are you UU? —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:54 16 August 2010]

Oh, you know. Boring my way through life as usual. How did you cure your hiccups? A shock? A cold key down the back? Drinking from the wrong side of the mug? Or just leaving them to run their course and giving everyone a good laugh in the process? --UU - natter 11:08, Aug 16

I paid a friend to stalk and mug me, with shotgun. That did the trick. I suppose you class that as "shock". Problem was, he took my wallet and I never saw him again. Ah well. At least I got rid of the hiccups! —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [11:16 16 August 2010]

Ah. I see. You went for the easy option then. --UU - natter 11:36, Aug 16

I did indeed. £60 and three credit cards later, I'm not looking back! —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [11:53 16 August 2010]

Three credit cards: because you can never have enough debt? --UU - natter 11:56, Aug 16

Luckily I have a few spares! —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [12:18 16 August 2010]

Hey there

Umm, well I just sort have wanted to apologize if I annoyed or offended you in some sort of way. I've never been spoken to by an adult that way other than my parents... and it freaking feels weird... And listen, i understand life can be tough, but trust me, if I brought my life's anger to this site, I would have made you feel suicidal :P.

Anyways, you should never truly forget the past, but instead, leave it behind, and bring it up when it's necessary.

In the end, i can tell you're a nice guy. And i aint no troll or some idiot that wants to piss anyone off so lets just say that today is a new day, and i got a fresh load of piss in my bladder (which just turned 15 today, hint hint) that i really got to load out on piss needing articles!

Oh on that note, remind me to flame HELPME for updating the review chart but leaving my review out... now that i think of it, it may have been purposely. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 15:13, August 16, 2010 (UTC)

Oh man, sorry about last week - you know when you have too many things going on and too little sleep? Having a kid is a wonderful thing, but teething is hell. Anyway, you seem like a good guy, Happymonkey, and as I said, it was just that your sense of humour and mine weren't clicking last week, largely because I was so strung out on caffeine trying to stay awake that I couldn't spot a joke right in front of me. So let's forget last week ever happened and just get on with fun stuff. Just don't go calling me an adult, I'm a bloke - we never grow up! =D --UU - natter 15:20, Aug 16

Ya that's just like my dad -_-". And i understand, i got a little sister, and even though I wasn't a parent, her crying used to keep me up! --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 16:48, August 16, 2010 (UTC)

Hey! OK...I admit it...I was too lazy to add any new reviews to the table, and just checked the ones Chief put there... (But can you please be patient? It's not as if life will end if your review isn't checked for a few days. I might go do that right now, but I might go have dinner. And then play video games. The point is, I have stuff I'd like to do, too.)--HM (T) 02:19, August 17, 2010 (UTC)

Hold on, teething is hell?!?! I vaguely remember an email claiming the otherwise, so I have that one to look forward to eh?!?! I'll just go sulk in the corner now Also, two more days and I'm in the holyland meeting up with the littleun after two weeks! He probably doesn't remember me at all the little bugger ~ Mordillo where is my JACK OFF? 08:04, August 17, 2010 (UTC)

The first tooth was fine, and UUette didn't give us any problems at all. So we kind of got lulled into a false sense of security. We think there are about another 4 trying to come through at once right now, which is causing her a certain amount of discomfort, to put it mildly. I have to say, I can't imagine spending 2 weeks without her - you must be crawling up the walls to see him again! And I'm certain he'll remember his daddy! The banstick is such a giveaway. --UU - natter 08:11, Aug 17

You think that's bad? Picture being one of my parents. My teeth cam in so out of line that they were messed up when they were baby teeth let alone my permanent. My parents said that they literally had no sleep whatsoever because i would constantly cry and cry and cry, more than the average baby. They tell me that if I thought my sister was annoying that i would go insane have to live with myself -_-". Have you ever tried power naps? My dads friend takes them every day since he has to get up in 5 in the morning for work. In the middle of the day, if you get the chance, take a ten minute nap, it does wonders. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 16:23, August 17, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, disappointing. I thought you said UUettie, as in a merge of Yettie and UU and was like OMG IT'S ME, but no, instead you're just talking about that child of yours, again! Jeese. It's like you created life, or something. My parents tell me that I made up for being a quiet baby in teenagerdom. You've got that to look forward to yet, UU! —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [22:25 17 August 2010]

huffing

Oh you huffed Justin Bieber. Completely understandable, but you mentioned a copy? I would like to have it, i usually have my own copies but i just happen to not have Justin Bieber saved -_-".

Ya sorry, i got caught up with things and completely forgot. But i plan to finish it. So i would appreciate if i could get that copy thanks! --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 16:46, August 16, 2010 (UTC)

There ya go. Have fun! --UU - natter 21:13, Aug 16

UU, do you not think that sometimes you are too easy-going, friendly, fair and cool about everything? Once in a while get stressed and flip out, you know? Like for example, here's a great chance. You could have just replied "FU!" and banned happymonkey for troubling you for. For a month or so. But no, instead you're more than willing to helpful. And - worse - you're happy about being helpful. It's like you're trying to be...to be...er...helpful, or something. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:43 16 August 2010]

I know man why don't you ban more often? I mean cmon, that was a perfect opportunity...wait, me? Don't ban a guy on his birthday! --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 01:01, August 17, 2010 (UTC)

Buck_rogers_(song)

Any chance of a copy of this please? Cheers. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 89.240.249.19 (talk • contribs)

See, here's the thing - I'm happy to give you a copy, but any deleted articles that are restored get moved to userspace. for this to happen, you need an account. So: get an account, come back here and let me know, and I'll drop a copy in your userspace pronto. Deal? --UU - natter 21:11, Aug 16

Out of interest, since IPs have their own userpages, what happens when you put an article in an IP's sort-of-userspace? Wait, IPs do have userpages don't they? —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:46 16 August 2010]

Numbers don't get pages. Silly Yettie. --UU - natter 08:07, Aug 17

But, but but...but! —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [22:26 17 August 2010]

Sorry thought I was logged in when I made that request. Yeah that would be ace, cheers! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Steven9000 (talk • contribs)

Hey, don't forget to sign your posts with four tildes (~~~~). Cheers! —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [22:53 17 August 2010]

Here y'go. Let me know when it's finished, and we'll look at moving it back to mainspace for you. Have fun, and drink cider from a lemon, lemon, lemon... --UU - natter 08:08, Aug 18

ありがとうございます

Thanks for the vote! Sir MacMania GUN—[00:01 18 Aug 2010]

Can't help but noticing

That HowTo:Play Russian Roulette is in your favorite articles thing. I like that article too, and also think it's one of Leddy's best. Just sayin'. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 09:32, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

I agree, it's a good one alright. What you may not have noticed - partly due to the <choose> tags on the thing, mostly because I just added it - is that ol' Titshugger is on there too. I meant to add that a few weeks back, when I came across it randomly and remembered how much I enjoyed it, but your appearance here just reminded me. So there you go. Nice of you to drop by, by the way. --UU - natter 09:58, Aug 18

Thanks for the Titshugger appreciation! It's always good to stop by on someone's userpage and find out that someone likes one of your articles. If only TheLedBalloon were here to know how much you liked his article HowTo:Play Russian Roulette. Oh well.

Also, I guess I'm not really one of those people who just stops by on people's talk pages often, so yeah. Hey. How's the kids? -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 10:07, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

Tell you what - get yourself a South Park pic, and I'll credit it properly! Kids? I only have one, and she's enough of a handful right now while she's teething thanks! How's you? --UU - natter 10:13, Aug 18

Russo-Japanese Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I'm considering changing this template, but it probably won't happen.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:01, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

---

I made the league

It's on Yahoo!. Here are some important things to know:

• League ID: 512953
• Custom League URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/uncyclopedia_2010
• Password: guildy

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:31, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

And it's your turn to pick. What luck! -RAHB 23:24, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

Did someone say "pot luck"? Blast, they're cottoning on to my strategy! --UU - natter 08:09, Aug 20

Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

Aug 19thish, 2010 • Issue 92 • Does anyone actually read this bit?

UnReviews - get involved! By UU UnReviews is the latest portal-style page on Uncyclopedia. The brainchild of Skinfan13, and first introduced to the world via this forum, it gathers together all of the reviews that are not pee-related on the wiki into one handy place - verily, it's the page of the future! And it needs YOUR help! Yes, good idea though it seems to be, it does lack one fairly insignificant ingredient - there aren't actually all that many UnReviews to fill it up with. So how can YOU help? Well, we would have thought that was obvious, to be honest, but as we're dealing with Uncyclopedians here, we'll make it a little clearer: write an UnReview! You could go down the road of Modus's magnum opus UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight, and make a movie review, you could get all cultured on our asses, and go Shakespearian, or you could review something else entirely. The choice is, quite literally, yours! Something helpful this way comes By UU Need a hand making your page more awesome? In need of a formatting injection, or some kind of audio enhancement? Well, help may just be at hand. MeepStarLives has decided to create a one-stop portal for all requests of this nature. If this actually works, it could be something beautiful, quite frankly. TKF has already started the ball rolling with a challenging audio request which is likely to be an early acid test for the project. If you have a Casio keyboard and some decent audio skills, get across there and get this thing working! So, how can you get involved? Well, if you are skilled at adding awesome to pages in some way, watchlist the page, check it regularly, and stop hogging your wiki-fu to yourself! If you are in need of added awesomeness on your page, pop in a request and see what happens. If nothing else, it'll make Meep feel good about himself, and that's what it's all about, when you get right down to it. Right?

Check out these pages! Did the leprechaun tell you to burn things? Finally, something worth voting on! Classy! From our logs: 06:45, 12 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 66.110.140.189 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Don't blank pages, take drugs, or steal cars) 03:16, 9 August 2010 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) blocked Roman Dog Bird's Vag Stank (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (probably a troll, although the username could totally be a coincidence) 16:26, 8 August 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Hyperbole (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (taking top spot on the Hall of Shame.....might consider the need for a longer ban.....) Biopic of the Week Perhaps some of you remember Sir Cornbread. I barely do. I do remember how he made the Village Dump smell pleasant...well, as pleasant as the wafting, mixed aromas of stale cornbread and garbage can be. During his tenure at Uncyclopedia, Mr. Cornbread only had two features: rap and The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah. We're certain that if he would've stuck around he'd have 68,027.5 features, putting everyone else to shame but not rubbing it in our faces because I vaguely remember him being a nice guy or something. Now, this sounds ridiculous because Uncyclopedia only has 25,000 or so articles at present, but trust me on this one: this guy could write. Like many great writers, Sir Cornbread wrote about topics he knew a lot about: hermaphrodites, unoriginality, ape-shit craziness, Thais, and was working on an article about ape-shit crazy Thai hermaphrodites. But as is usually the case with all great writers on Uncyclopedia, only the good die leave young early. The ones who stay are just kidding themselves.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 11:53, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Re:Try Again

Fine. Can you look at my article, Pee Review it, and nominate it? Its called HowTo:Kill Yourself In Just 5 Minutes, and really I want this to become a featured article.

--AchmedTheDeadTerrorist 13:31, August 20, 2010 (UTC)User:AchmedTheDeadTerrorist

How about you put it on the queue properly, and wait for a review? I really don't have time to review an article right now, and I won't this weekend either. And I'd only nominate it if I thought it was good enough after that review. And, having a quick look at it, I can tell you right now that wouldn't happen. Have another look at HTBFANJS, a quick read through UN:LIST, and another look at your article. Then try making it less of a short, listy page with bad spelling, and more of an article. Good luck! --UU - natter 13:39, Aug 20

If you put it on Pee review I'll review it. Unless you're a sockpuppet. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [14:29 20 August 2010]

Er ...

This Achmed isn't a sockpuppet, is he? I swear I saw this somewhere before ... Sir MacMania GUN—[14:09 20 Aug 2010]

Hmm, it's possible. --UU - natter 14:15, Aug 20

That self-nomming thing is also extremely suspicious stuff. Either he's a sock or he's just some really unfunny user, which is a thing we really shouldn't have around anyway. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 15:56, August 21, 2010 (UTC)

An unfunny user who just does not seem to grasp how Uncyc works. At all. On several pages I've tried to tell him things but he's ignored me, as far as I can tell. He also comes across as quite rude, I think. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [18:36 21 August 2010]

We should have realised all along that he was a sockpuppet. You know why? Achmed? Part of the repertoire of Jeff Dunham, a rather tasteless ventriloquist?! Yeah, I know, he's more clever than we give him credit for. Sir MacMania GUN—[22:45 21 Aug 2010]

Well, that's if he is one. Otherwise he's not and I'm an idiot. Sir MacMania GUN—[22:55 21 Aug 2010]

The League

Well, first you need to A) be sure you have a Yahoo! account, and B) be signed in to said account when you attempt to join said league. I'm gonna assume you have and were, though. I think what I'll do is invite you "formally" via email, which should work, though I'll need your email address. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:11, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

uu_rocks, I believe. --UU - natter 14:15, Aug 20

You do rock. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [14:31 20 August 2010]

You have rarely been more right. --UU - natter 14:32, Aug 20

Also, a helpful link from Cheddar: [1] —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:33, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Ta. Kick and Rush FTW are ready to take the league by storm... --UU - natter 19:25, Aug 20

British invasion! —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [20:29 20 August 2010]

Joyeux Noel

Thanks for voting for Evan Almighty! Hopefully you'll enjoy this free* existing** copy of Al Franken's Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations audiobook.

--Sir General Minister G5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 F@H KUN 14:44, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

I'm about to

Leave a message on socky's talkpage about this (I only chose his cause I saw him first, don't worry it's not favouritism (as such) ). But I was just popping by to remind you about it. When you get back on Monday, will you have a chance to write your section perhaps? Thank you.

On another note, I hope you don't mind that I've taken to stalking your talkpage. What with Orian gone and most of the group gone, I'm left with no choice, you see. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [20:33 20 August 2010]

Doubt I'll get to my section today, but seeing as you're giving it some attention I'll give it a shot as soon as I can. As for stalking my talk page... Join the queue. This talk page has always been the place to be! --UU - natter 10:29, Aug 23

Hey there ya wank

Just popping by to say thanks for voting on my Propaganda article:-)

--Sycamore (Talk) 15:49, August 21, 2010 (UTC)

No worries, yer dour Caledonian git that you are! --UU - natter 10:30, Aug 23

Hurls sheep parts and Frankie Boyle in your general direction... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Does your curly perm and shell suit not get in the way? --UU - natter 10:45, Aug 23

Is it abnormal to be scared more of Frankie Boyle than of sheep parts? Sir MacMania GUN—[13:32 23 Aug 2010]

Saw your input

... here but just to let you know nobody has a Special:Watchlist tab/button anymore... now you have to know stuff to know this. (They have this wankfest Special:Following instead.) Cheers.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  22 Aug 2010 ~ 07:51 (UTC)

Eh? I've got a watchlist? And tab for it. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:00 22 August 2010]

Well, everybody still has a watchlist but as far as I've seen it's no longer in the "tabs" of any browser I use. (What makes you so special you have a tab for it? It's those mafia connections of yours isn't it?)  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  22 Aug 2010 ~ 17:49 (UTC)

It's right up there in the top right. My most frequently clicked link, probably. You don't have it? —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [19:51 22 August 2010]

No I do not. (I'm not bitter... wait, yes I am.)  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  22 Aug 2010 ~ 21:26 (UTC)

Oh that's a bitch. Maybe it'd make up for it if I sent you a complimentary Mafia whore? 100% guaranteed sexuality. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:31 22 August 2010]

I have a watchlist, therefore everybody does. This logic is infallible. --UU - natter 10:31, Aug 23

You genius is unworldy. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [11:01 23 August 2010]

Tis your turn to draft

Might I recommend Joshua Cribbs - WR (Cle) as the silliest name available?--<<>> 02:57, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Whoops! Just kidding. Give RAHB a few minutes, then it'll be your turn.--<<>> 02:58, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

I don't know how long that few minutes actually became, because for a rare change I wasn't home between the hours of 6 and 11 pm. However, now it's your real turn. Are you a real man!? -RAHB 06:22, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

I honestly don't know why the rest of you are still bothering, it's clear my policy of partly-random picks with a slight bias towards interesting-sounding names is going to leave you all trailing woefully in my wake! --UU - natter 08:34, Aug 24

Thanks for the recommendation Brad, but I found a guy with a good name and a beard. In my system, that's a royal flush, right there. --UU - natter 08:34, Aug 24

Remember that baby collab we had going?

Seem we made a good job, Mordillon is very proud of you. ~ Mordillo where is my JACK OFF? 11:19, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I seem to recall it. Turned out OK, didn't it? My mum actually chuckled so hard she sprayed coffee on her keyboard when she read it. Better start thinking of next year's collab now, eh? ;-) --UU - natter 11:22, Aug 24

Something about RAHB's penis no dubot. ~ Mordillo where is my JACK OFF? 11:27, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Nappy

I know, I read the talk page (I read the article too for what it's worth, probably the first feature of 2010 that I've actually read). I'm on holiday right now, hence my recent inactivity (that comes straight on the back of my old inactivity). Just thought I'd drop by so we could talk about the importance of the British language and all the words we use for baby related paraphernalia that they -- Americans -- have changed.    Orian57    Talk   16:03 24 August 2010

Sorry, you come by here, cause me to have to correct your spelling 3 times, and you want to talk about the importance of the language? ;-) Look, language changes - fact. Otherwise, we'd alle be speakinge like thy fool Shakespeare. English, as a language, is built on absorbing words from other languages. Otherwise we'd have next to no language of our own. And diaper is slowly gaining currency over here. Deal with it - there are more important things to worry about. Bet you pronounce harassment as harassment, rather than harassment, which would be the correct British way - one change by our Yank chums that next to no-one's noticed, and everyone's absorbed (except my mum, who objects to it every single time she hears it). Without the Yanks, we wouldn't have the word "moron", and I think we can all agree that would leave the language poorer. --UU - natter 08:11, Aug 25

Yeah. I know.    Orian57    Talk   11:59 25 August 2010

how you getting on anyway?    Orian57    Talk   12:01 25 August 2010

Fine and dandy. Apparently, Yettie's taken to stalking this talk page because you're not around enough. How're you doing, anyway? Struggling with this unaccustomed "work" malarkey? --UU - natter 12:30, Aug 25

You should be grateful that Yettie is hanging around, I mean what are you without a young fag clinging to your talk page like a puddle of cum? And work's been OK. It's this holiday that I'm on at the minute. Mum and my sis are constantly at each others throats my dad's been in and out of hospital getting this ugly boil attended to there was a horribly expensive wedding involving a cousin I don't really like and there's very little internet and even less porn and I miss my xbox and I had horrible sickness/diarrhoea virus and I JUST. WANT. TO. GO. HOME!!!    Orian57    Talk   13:24 25 August 2010

Sounds like every family holiday I ever went on, to be fair. Actually, sounds like your next article too. Go on - write about that! (When you get time, of course). --UU - natter 14:29, Aug 25

I guess it could be, it just really isn't funny. I was working on this though, thoughts?    Orian57    Talk   14:46 25 August 2010

The following preview is the only thing standing between you and the feature presentation, bwahahahahaha

Thanks for the vote! Sir MacMania GUN—[19:51 26 Aug 2010]

It's your go in that thing.

You know the one. -RAHB 23:29, August 26, 2010 (UTC)

Why it matters

Race you to 30? Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 01:48, Aug 27 2010 UTC

Oh man. No! I am between bouts of inspiration right now, so that would be as much of a race as it was between me and Orian. And I only challenged him because I wanted to see him write more. And we all know how well that worked. Besides, you'd beat me but good! ;-) --UU - natter 08:20, Aug 28

Inspiration is still at low ebb for me, as is time. I've got two big projects on the cards, and finishing touches required on another, but they're taking backseat to a big project I have in RL. Nominally Humane! some time Saturday, 15:15, Aug 28 2010 UTC

Sorry...

...about the whole picking for you thing. What happened was, I came over here to your talkpage, saw the vacation template, looked at the page history and saw something about "just in case" in your edit description, and thought it would be best to pick for you. I reasoned that you probably wouldn't have put up the template unless you definitely weren't going to be here, ya know? On the bright side, you getting a backup kicker and defense were, value wise, probably the best picks you could have got, plus there were no players with interesting names worth taking at that point anyway. That doesn't mean I'm not sorry, though, so yeah, sorry for jumping to conclusions. Please don't come to my country and murder me? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:05, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

I'll only do that if your picks cost me the entire thing. Seeing as all my picks will probably do that long before they ever get a chance to, I'd say you have nothing to worry about! I'll definitely have the next picks whenever they come up though. --UU - natter 08:16, Aug 28

For some reason, I thought the two of you were Americans. Who am I wrong about? pillow talk 20:55, August 31, 2010 (UTC)

Never mind. I just developed the ability to read userpages. pillow talk 20:56, August 31, 2010 (UTC)

UU's as British as a gay person is gay. —30 CASES OF PICKLES WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [23:41 31 August 2010]

Thank You

^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 19:47, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

Last one!

Woo! Finally. Your pick sir. -RAHB 04:18, August 31, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

Thank you for the great belated birthday present! (Yes, August is my IRL birthday, I just hit the big 4-0.) Here, have some cake.

-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:14, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

odd question, but

I added something to qvfd that is currently on PEE queue without realising that the PEE queue template asks us not to do that. (Changes happened while I wasn't looking.) My review of it, evem though it was not a complete review, is that it was NRV and therefore QVFD. I can't QVFD due to PEE, but I don't want to waste time PEEing on NRV. So, short of me doing a full review, removing the template as a review is done, and then nomming for QVFD or VFD, what can I do? (More than anything else I'm trying to trim excess crap out of the PEE queue, hence the reason for coming back to it.) Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 11:46, Sep 3 2010 UTC

Which review/article is it? --UU - natter 13:49, Sep 3

UnNews:Hobo flips off et al. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 22:21, Sep 3 2010 UTC

I'd check it's been here more than 7 days, then VFD it. Especially since, judging from the talk page, Zim might put up some kind of fight if it disappears without good reason. Personally, I've reviewed worse before, so I'll leave it on the queue awaiting a review unless and until it gets deleted, but if it does go, let me know and I'll remove the pee request as well. --UU - natter 08:50, Sep 6

UFFL 2010 Kickoff

The draft is over, the NFL regular season begins Thursday September 9th, and everyone is geared up and ready to play some fantasy football(!).

This season promises to thrill and intrigue, and as the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League has grown from just eight all the way to 14 teams, each one vying for a shot at the championship, except maybe Neox's team. With all this excitement, however, comes questions. Will Rush and Kick FTW, the UFFL's first team based in Britain, be able to compete with the league's American teams? Will Cheddar's rebuilt Doritorians be able to play at the same high level as last year now that their roster is down from 50% Eagles players to just 30%? Will evil Nazi overlord and reigning league Champion Guildensternenstein be able to defend his league championship now that Top-3 players at the quarterback, running back, wide receiver and tight end positions didn't fall into his lap this year? Only brutal, primal, visceral, cerebral combat on the fields of Yahoo!'s fantasy football league servers can determine these questions.

That all being said, everyone should take note of two things:

• this is a link to the league--go here to do stuff, like select a starting roster (which, believe it or not, is important).

• this is the forum where we'll talk about the league and post banal sports banter (which, believe it or not, is even more important).

Good luck, gentleman. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:05, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Rush and Kick? What kind of a team name is that? --UU - natter 10:18, Sep 6

This template's a bit long, but...

Archive 31, thanks for joining the official Nancy Drew Mystery Stories™ Fan Club!

Your vote to preserve the heritage of the classic Nancy Drew Mystery Series for Girls automatically and irrevocably enters you into a contract with Dunnit and Grosslap, the nation's premier reprinter of mystery and adventure serials for children.

For just pennies a day, you are making a contribution that will slow the decay of childhood literacy in the developed world. Kids, check out this never-before released installment of Nancy Drew!

They’re Trying to Euthanize Me, Nancy!

As a Lifetime Member™, Archive 31, you'll enjoy a variety of
exclusive benefits* only available to the most loyal of juvenile mystery enthusiasts.
These exciting benefits include, and are indeed limited to: feeling good about your generous contribution to young readers everywhere, a substantially reduced rate on shipping and handling charges for every Stratemeyer Signature Series Collection™ title you purchase using the handy form included in the back of every book, exclusive offers and communications from our affiliates only available to members, and a chance to win a free voucher entitling you to an opportunity to purchase a ticket for a raffle that could potentially unlock access to wide variety of restricted titles and memorabilia from our limited-circulation backcatalog.

* All terms, conditions, and entitlements subject to revision without notice.

Thanks for your vote on Nancy Drew. Here, have some extra book covers on me. --KUN VFH POTM VFP(IMAGES⇔TALK) 19:09, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

You be a scholar?

hmm? ~ 09:15, September 6, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

Sept 9th, 2010 • Issue 93 • Our definition of "weekly" may not match yours

The pee is weak - must be time for Pee Week! By UU It's been an unusually long stretch without any kind of competition recently, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that! Co-incidentally, the pee queue is as long it's been in aaaaages, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that too! Yes, it would appear to be nearly time for the inaugural Uncyclopedia Pee Week! It starts on Monday 13th September. So, the questions must be asked: Do you have an opinion, and want to give others the benefit of it? Do you want to help people who are looking for help with their articles? Do you want to get a shiny new template award thingy? If the answer to at least one of those questions is "yes", you could be on your way to winning this soon-to-be prestigious competition! Just sign up here, and prepare to review as you've never reviewed before! The best of the 5.5 years super-extravaganza begins! By UU As we all know, there is nothing the average Uncyclopedian enjoys more than voting. Except possibly causing drama, but we'll gloss over that for the purposes of this article, because an unprecedented new opportunity to vote has arisen, thanks to amphibious serial-killer TKF. That's right, on the fifth of every month, a new vote will start to determine the best somethingorother of the 5.5 years that Uncyc has been in existence. This month's vote is already open, and it's for the writer of the 5.5 years. So get over there, vote, and make your voice heard! Again. Asked for his feelings on seeing his brainchild getting off the ground like this, TKF exclusively told us: "My grand-uncle used to tell me "He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!" and I feel that's somehow relevant to this situation." Anyone pointing out that by the time this finishes, Uncyclopedia will be around 6 years old will be asked not to point it out again. UnNews main page By Socky Someone suggested to completely revamp the UnNews main page and in an epic move of Uncyclopedia originality, decided to hold a vote on it. Some people farted.

Check out these pages! Wikia sucks, part 469 In other news, The Pope's a Catholic Insert lie here The very pinnacle of humour From our logs: 06:16, 8 September 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.137.241.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You suck. Flaxmere too.) 04:13, 31 August 2010 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 96.30.32.33 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (congratulations on bringing to our attention the fact you are a moron. you win a ban!) 05:47, 29 August 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Vertiqual (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Hey now, some of my best friends suck a lot of cock.) 18:46, 27 August 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) resurrected Mordillo (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Thank god I'm in Israel then!) 18:25, 27 August 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (According to my calculations, it's Shabbat in the 'Dam. Therefore, if you unblock yourself, you'll go to Hell. Ha ha ha!) 17:09, 21 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Magic man (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 15 Minutes ‎ (Update the score when you vote on VFH, cleaning up after you wears out my slippers) 02:44, 19 August 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked DarkWalrus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Poor edits, won't listen to advice, continuos ICU removal, smells really bad, etc. etc. god damn) Biopic of the Week It's time to cover a true legend of the wiki this week, a name that still inspires awed whispers wherever connoisseurs of pee are gathered together: the one, the only One-eyed Jack! OEJ, as he is more handily known, was for some time pretty much the only person who bothered to do any pee reviews at all. Fortunately, the ones he did were pretty awesome. And he had plenty of knowledge to back him up, having birthed some seriously good featured articles. But Jack didn't just write for features - he turned his hand to improvement - check his userpage to see just how many below-par articles across the wiki had the benefit of his gently healing touch, nudging their prose from lame to lollable with a deft sprinkle of goodness. Man, we need more people like this guy. Where is he now, anyways? Old-school featured article of the week go eat shit fuckers

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:45, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks and Stuff

He may be dead but Monster Party will live on thanks to your vote. Hooray for crappy video games!

--—John Lydon 12:13, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

You voted in support of antinatalism. The future totalitarian world government will make sure to have you sterilized. Thanks for participating in saving the planet! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:09, 13 September 2010

Oi

Hope you aren't pissing off when there's still things that need completing... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Hey, given how long me and Dillo had the Roak Band article cooking, I'd say I'm still within SLA on that one... --UU - natter 12:54, Sep 20

MINDFUCK

^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 20:54, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

you got your self a dance!

Yo Under user, how ya doin'? Well it doesn't matter, 'cause however you're feelin' this will make your day just a little bit better.

Dancing dude

Trade

I offered you a trade in fantasy football. Check it out if and when you get the opportunity. Also, have fun with the family, and enjoy your holiday! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:50, September 17, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, never mind. Enjoy the rest of your holiday. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:20, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

Teething

Is hell. And I counted on you when you said "crucifixion teething's a doddle" . ~ 20:07, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

Now now 'dillo, I always said you have to be brave when your wisdom teeth do eventually come through. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 20:11, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

Different babies seem to handle teething differently. The first my mum knew of my teething, for example, was when my first tooth just "appeared". No complaints. UUette was pretty similar, and so far, of 6 teeth, only one gave us any trouble. (That one was pretty hellish though). A friend's son, however, suffered and shared it around hugely. Sounds like your lad is edging in a similar direction. I wish you luck! --UU - natter 12:54, Sep 20

Sabbatical

Very nicely worded "hiatus explanation message" - sums up my attitude to Uncyclopedia perfectly. Hope to see you back as a regular before too long, it won't be the same without you. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:30, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

What he said, but far less gay. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 11:04, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

As if you could ever be less gay than me. We compared body hair last time we were naked together, remember, and concluded that I am by far the most manly. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:14, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

I was unconscious at the time, last thing I remember was you buying me a drink in the pub. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 11:16, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

I remember that night well - it was the only time I've ever seen anyone put a roofie in their own drink, you little tease. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:17, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

For once, I have to admit I wholeheartedly agree with an internet entity.

“ Despite seeing all the petty niggles behind the scenes for so long, this site still makes me laugh as much as anything on the internet. You're a good bunch, you know? ”

Essentially, you boiled it down to why I came back. I have spent time on various internet forums and in communities of varying sort and type, but have come to realise that though some people who use this site can be verbally abusive prime specimens of arseholes, the community as a whole is still the best one I've encountered on the internet.

I hope you'll have more strength to deal with the real life disturbances you have to go through than I've had, or still have, to deal with some of the things that have been going down the drain on my end. I'd lend you strength, but mine is almost depleted at the moment.

*hugs* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:10, 28 Sep

As a side note...

You had the gall to ban me while I was afk? Awww shucks! :P -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 15:56, 8 Oct

You won't be leaving Number 6...

You need us... the happy existence you've built for yourself can't possibly be satisfy your need for hanging around with the dregs of society on the internet.--Sycamore (Talk) 14:48, October 8, 2010 (UTC)

Question about TAW

Sorry to hear about the news (I've been having a lousy year myself). I hope everything's ok. Will you still be judging TAW? MadMax 08:28, October 9, 2010 (UTC)

Max, I hate to let anyone down, ever, but I really, really can't do this. Things are just a big mess at the moment, and it's all I can do to keep anything together. You'll have to find someone else. So sorry. --UU - natter 08:12, Oct 11

Don't worry about it. Again I hope everything works out alright. MadMax 20:09, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

Pee Review

No one is pee reviewing: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Grand Theft Auto: Somalia. Can you please review this? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 07:09, October 16, 2010 (UTC)

UU is busy IRL at the moment and not able to review anything, speak to Lyrithya or Black flamingo11 if you want a review done reasonably soon, they seem to be the main ones working at the moment. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 16:37, October 16, 2010 (UTC)

I know you're not actually here and everything...

...but if you do happen to log on and see this, do you think you could go and vote for Chief on RotM? Or at least strike a few of the votes against him. The silliness over there has gotten out of hand (partly my fault). Thanks. --Black Flamingo 09:28, October 28, 2010 (UTC)

What is this, a seance? This ghost user only speaks through mediums and little girls with ectoplasm problems. But if the ghost does read this, it will notice that you are talk page whoring and now must do the opposite of what you ask, which means it is compelled to put its ghostly talons to work voting for you for RotM. Your Machavelian plot to obtain its vote is now complete (although by me placing this paid ad for BlackFlamingo the ghost is also compelled to vote for Chief. It's a paradox which can only be solved by a coin flip). Aleister 9:50 28 10

Do you know how I can reach any of these little girls? --Black Flamingo 10:09, October 28, 2010 (UTC)

Sincere thanks

WOTM is the heaviest award ever - just see.

--Funnybony    14:32, Nov 1

Blackpool

How far do you think we are off having it complete, or at least in mainspace? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I read that as "are we having it off" at first, which was a worry. Anyway, I reckon it's a chapter away from becoming a glorious whole. Something to tie the ending into the rest of it. I had a vague idea to do with donkeys and donkey shows and them being so disgusted that they were actually involving children in what they assume will be sick practices that they run for the hills. However, I'm not entirely sure that's actually funny (see my userpage comment about not being funny right now), and it's finding the time to write the bloody thing that's really doing me in. I so want to come back and write and all that, but I barely have time to switch on the computer these days. Speaking of which, I have to run right now. Nice to see you! --UU - natter 14:57, Nov 3

Well I'll try most things once....oh sorry, yeah, right.....don't worry about whether other people think its funny or not, as long as it makes you laugh. The whole idea and sections you've added are quite brilliant, it probably only needs a little more of the same and its done. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Actually, I go and say that, and then I notice the chapter you added which pretty well does tie the ending in. Hmm. I like it. If you want to mainspace it, be my guest. I'd like to add a few tweaks if I get time, but as I may have mentioned, I'm a bit pressed for that right now. Love your work, as always. Toodles! --UU - natter 15:19, Nov 3

Cough! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Fast work. I nod appreciatively in your direction. --UU - natter 16:08, Nov 3

There's still room to squeeze your donkeys in, as the Nun said to the Bishop... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

When the muse returns, perhaps. As the curate may have said while he was watching them. --UU - natter 16:22, Nov 3

If...

Probably. But I'd take a parachute. *hugs UU* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101103 - 16:48 (UTC)

A parachute! If only I had thought of that. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:28, 3 November 2010

Yes, why didn't you? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101103 - 18:39 (UTC)

Trade

I've got a trade proposition for you in fantasy football. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:56, November 4, 2010 (UTC)

I'm listening. --UU - natter 21:24, Nov 4

Congratulations

...looks like we have a feature on our hands....now get back to work you lazy bugger.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

A pleasure to work with you, and experience your assured touch first hand. I'll be back when I'm back, and not before. When I'm not having to work like a caffiene-swilling beaver IRL, probably. --UU - natter 11:28, Nov 9

The Wait

Not often that I leave articles without links but I had done the same thing on one of my recent articles as Mr Thinker had one The Wait. As an exercise in writing it almost felt too pure to sully with links and shizz, maybe Mr Thinker had the same thoughts. Its not his best work, don't think it deserves all the against votes it has received...its a funny old game writing for a humour wiki... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

Nov 11th, 2010 • Issue 94 • The Newspaper that shaves you closer!

The UnSignpost Rides Again! By Chief A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, the Rebels attained victory over the Imperial Empire and the last UnSignpost flopped onto talk pages. The drought came as Under user announced that he had a life to be getting on with, and at that point the UnSignpost simply stopped writing itself. Some people have suggested that these two events may be linked somehow, but until we see proof, we have resolved to live in ignorance. However as we hurtle towards the end of the year it would seem the magic has returned and the newspaper that confusingly contains neither news or paper will once again be arriving on talk pages weekly monthly annually whenever we can manage it. Newer recipients of the UnSignpost are urged to suggest ideas for stories in the press room; this helps as it means we don't need to pay attention to anything you people do every day. For now, please welcome the UnSignpost back into your homes and hearts... please? Speak up! By Chief For those of you who may be unfamiliar with The Article Whisperer, permit me to clear the waters somewhat with this bit of text I have, at great personal risk, copied off the competition page. It is: "An annual writing competition held by Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles", which I think we can all agree is absolutely splendid. Unfortunately, all our intrepid journalists were saving Kittens from trees and generally performing heroic deeds when the competition took place, but that won't stop us from talking about it. Lyrithya and Matfen were the biggest winners, or losers depending on how you look at it, each being Grand Champion of two categories. Competition founder MadMax was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press, so we have made something up instead: "The competition was a great success and I would like to thank everyone who took part; especially ChiefjusticeDS who is absolutely fantastic and whom I owe many drinks", he might have said. The Article Whisperer is expected to take place again next year, and MadMax might have said "Take part or die", but probably not. The Aristocrat's By Chief & Mhaille Few competitions stir the loins more than The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, self described as Uncyclopedia's festival of frivolity and bad taste. The competition has three categories: The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball Best Bad Taste Article The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery If you aren't a writer (we are led to believe some people are not), then 3 Judges are needed for each of the above categories (see here). Seriously, this will be so much fun you will wish we did it twice a year... maybe. The competition opens on November 19th, so put on a stout pair of writing trousers and get going!

Check out these pages! Bed Never on Sunday Anything interesting happening? Zombiebaron That's so 2005 From our logs: 16:29, November 10, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 seconds ‎ (You're reviving the Signpost? Good luck! Now to think of a witty ban reason to get me in the "From Our Logs" section. Penis. That ought to do it. It would if I was editing it.) 04:27, November 10, 2010 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.181.83.75 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Normally you'd probably be reading a witty message from an admin. Obviously, I'm not one of those admins. Gotta tell you, you're missing out.) 10:36, November 9, 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.42.244.217 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (List 350 reasons why I should care about your birthday, and I'll reverse the ban.) 08:10, November 10, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked EatPoo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Alas, dear sir, you are afflicted with the stupid) 16:31, November 10, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 years ‎ (Stop being supposedly here and BE HERE. YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART) Biopic of the Week Do you hear that? Thought not, because this week we are taking a closer look at one of Uncyclopedia's true unsung heroes, Black flamingo. He has a whopping 12.5 feature credits; that's more than 5 feature credits and 6 feature credits put together! Not only that, but Black flamingo has been instrumental in keeping Pee Review afloat while you weren't. Respect this man immediately or I will punch a Zebra, that's how committed I am to getting him recognised. Head over to his talk page right now and doff your helm. Now, dammit! Don't make me fetch the Zebra. Old-school featured article of the week The term "Paul is dead" (PID) refers to an urban legend or a hoax perpetrated either on the musical group The Beatles by their fans or vice-versa. According to the legend, bass guitarist and singer Paul McCartney was replaced by a lookalike after his alleged death in an auto accident in the mid-60s. Proponents of this hoax cite obscure clues embedded within the Beatles' lyrics, symbolism in their album covers, and Wings as evidence that the "real" Paul didn't survive into the 1970s. This manuscript reveals the full chilling truth. I've read it, and it will blow your tiny mind.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Aww! D:

Sad to hear about your IRL stuff. Hope everything pans out or gets better. I recently found myself redundant so I'll be having some more time on my hands for the foreseeable future (that's spelt wrong I'm sure) so I hope to be writing more -- or hell something -- very soon.    Orian57    Talk   18:51 16 November 2010

Hey dude, good to see you. Sucks to hear about the redundancy though. I've been redundant before, and it's never a good feeling. Keep looking - there'll be something else out there for you. My IRL is fucked up right now, it's true, but you just get through as best you can, you know? It helps to be able to dip in here occasionally and have a laugh. Really hope you do write something soon, that's always something to look forward to. Cheers! --UU - natter 09:17, Nov 17

Thanks!

Thank you for your vote on Bed! Appreciated. Although since you are not here the vote may, of course, have been someone using your user name, and if you ever find out who would do such a thing please thank them for me. And I read your Scraggle yesterday, very good and unique. Are you satisfied with it. and if so, why isn't it laying triple-letters across on VFH right now????? Aleister 1:18 17 11

Hi Al, I think I may be sort of sleep-editing in a Tyler Durden fashion. I also think my sleep-self has better dress sense than me. That may be who voted for your article. I'm sure he enjoyed it. As for Scraggle, it's one of the first things I wrote on the site, and I think it shows. I wanted the confirmation from Chief of what I suspected - that it needs a little attention. When I'm gonna get time to give it that attention is another thing. I might ask Sonje for a little help as well, if she's about. Glad you like it though - hopefully you'll like it more when I tweak it a little! (Although if you wanna nom it or anything else, you are a free individual, I'm told. Stupid democracy). --UU - natter 09:23, Nov 17

Apologies. I hadn't realised Scraggle was one of your articles. I checked the recent history and saw the image request but didn't go further back in the history to see who the original author was. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:18, November 19, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, no worries - I had just decided to give it the love it has needed for so long, and planned to spend some quality time with it shortly, only to see you snuggling up to it instead! To abandon that metaphor as clumsy, you're more than welcome to adjust it later, when I've finished my own tweakage, but until I see where I'm going to go with it, it's a waste of time making those kinds of changes, as I may take out or re-write completely some sections. See what you think when I'm done, which I hope will be in a day or two. --UU - natter 16:57, Nov 19

Read All About It!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

I love it when the news comes together

Nov 18th, 2010 • Issue 95 • The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way she/he did!

Wanna cyb3r? By Chief Hailed by some as the final solution to the Uncyclopedia problem and others as a wretched hive of scum and villainy, the Uncyclopedia IRC channel has chugged along for almost the same amount of time Uncyclopedia itself has. We here at the UnSignpost have literally hundreds of stories to sort through every week and we have picked IRC for a reason, and not just because it is easy to spell. We chose it because the Uncyclopedia IRC is a community and often contains users who are never on the site (because they are lazy and idle), equally many users who frequent the site do not enter IRC (because they are idle and lazy), and those who do often prefer to do so in disguise. This is a disgrace, don't ask why, it just is. Our intrepid reporters have spent literally minutes on IRC this week in order to bring news of it to you, the uneducated and unwashed masses and to try and encourage you to make use of it. Whatever you want to use it for: reporting vandals, penis jokes, collaboration, penis jokes and incoherent babbling; IRC is there for you. It is also a way to get to know the dull uninteresting personalities behind the exciting usernames, but don't let that put you off. When our intrepid reporter delved into the IRC community and asked the first person breathing in and out for a quote about IRC they told us "..." which should certainly give you food for thought. If you have some time on your hands then why not learn how to windsurf? But if you are too idle and lazy then why not head on over to IRC and see the magic happening for yourself? I would and if I would it must be a good idea. Balls up! By Chief The stage is seated, the judges are set and the competitors are questionable in number, yes The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is almost upon us. The competition opens this Friday and entries will be accepted until December the 3rd which is... a little while after that. Our hard-hitting journalists will be present at the competition and will be speaking to entrants and judges alike over the next few weeks. Just think; if you take part your name could be in italic font in the UnSignpost! Think about how envious your friends and family will be! Remember, it begins on the 19th of November and we want to see blood! We need you! Shameless pleading by: ChiefjusticeDS The UnSignpost is like an office printer, in that it constantly breaks down, sometimes doesn't work for months at a time and occasionally spews out some slightly smudged pages. If you think you have something to bring to the UnSignpost be it your journalistic talent, ideas for stories or even just a warm and reassuring slap in the face, feel free to drop us a line in the press room. Also Meganew wanted us to mention the Grue Army in the UnSignpost, so we have.

Check out these pages! We're the worst in another way! Why?:Not Vote now! It's not as bad as you think! From our logs: 05:54, November 14, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked POPEYE FUCK U UP (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (1) You suck. 2) Stop sucking.) 06:10, November 17, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Frozen Korpse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Yes, Mordillo is the worst. That's no reason to be rude.) 17:01, November 12, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.109.64.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (I'll have some gay porn if you're going to the shop) 3:32, November 14, 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.0.147.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (I'M HAVING A FRIENDSHIP ANEURYSM) Biopic of the Week Know who it is yet? Know what time they were last here? No? Then you should probably be able to guess that this week we are looking at Aleister in Chains. Al has been hanging around Uncyclopedia for just under a year now, and in that time has picked up 25 feature credits and has earned the eternal hatred of many for his enduring good humour and incredibly annoying signature timestamps. If Aleister hasn't been responsible for a single one of your chuckles over the last year then you need to start reading some of his articles, that or cancel your afternoon appointments as you have died and failed to notice. I wouldn't recommend you post on his talk page or look at his user page as they are both just plain weird, offer respect, but don't doff your helm, you never know what might end up in it. Overlooked Page of the Week Things to do. Easing the pain in your pants since 2007. Newsroom UnTune of the week The Uncyclopedian's song

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 14:36, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now Delivered Trendily Late!

Nov 25th, 2010 • Issue 96 • Putting the period in periodical!

Jimbo, Whales & The Worst 100 By Him again Those of you who regularly sit and stare at recent changes may well have seen a lot of tomfoolery with the site notice this week (that banner at the top which you dismissed two seconds after logging in). The reason for this is that somebody noticed that we are supposed to be a parody of Wikipedia and suggested we come up with something to parody Jimbo Wales' appeal. Zombiebaron duly obliged, then Lyrithya obliged too, then Olipro edited some code and the site notice you see today, or don't see, as the case may be, was created. Well done, them. Honestly, we have nothing bad to say about it. Except that I hate it as I do most things that come about through a process of honest endeavour. For those of you who didn't know, Jimbo does have an account on Uncyclopedia, an account he never uses, in rather the same way that I have a membership to a gym; I need one to be cool and so I have somewhere to hide when the black helicopters inevitably come for me. Jimbo is of course the co-founder of Wikia, which is rather like having helped build the Death Star except with less space and more super-lasers capable of destroying planets. Unfortunately, we haven't written a parody of the appeal yet. Well, we have, it just isn't very good. The team at the UnSignpost read both and after the laughter had died down we had a look at the Uncyclopedia one.... yeah.... but have our assurance, Uncyclopedia is working on improving it, and how could you doubt the people who brought you classics like Fisher Price and AAAAAAAAA!? The other item of news we have this week is that the reflections on this year are woefully lacking. Hurtling as we are towards the new year and the annual Cabal broadcast, you may want to consider adding an entry to the list in order that the administrators can sleep soundly at night. We refuse to believe that nothing of note has happened over the last couple of months because we've been here and can attest that something has happened every day. So get over there and do the editing, we'll be right behind you. Voting heats up By Chief The "of the Month" awards are in something of a state of flux at the moment as voters and nominators become increasingly unwilling to vote (or care) in some cases and more willing in others. "It's a sad indictment of the way we live," lamented Socky when our reporter spoke to him, though he did say some other things once we asked him some questions. This month on the Uncyclopedian of the Month award, Lyrithya has stormed ahead of competition, running up 16 votes at the time of going to press; we would say she was miles ahead of her opposition, but since she nominated both of them and voted for one of them we don't think she deserves it. When asked to comment, Lyrithya had this to say: "I hate you all". Meanwhile over on Writer of the Month, Romartus leads SPIKE by 7 votes. Neither of them were available to provide us with a quote, probably because we forgot to ask, but we took some of the things they said on the award page and through creative journalism summed up their thoughts: "This... is... my... award" is what Romartus said, though he may have said those words in a different order... and as part of different sentences. SPIKE just said "Yay," which was lovely. Things are far more exciting over on Noob of the Month where mega-noob rcmurphy and regular noob Putthatknifedown are neck and neck with 5 votes each. Things are of course far less exciting in the land of the other awards: Author of the Month is a gripping contest as gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Under user trudges towards the finish line arm in arm with gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Mhaille (he wrote a couple of lines for us once and they were amazing). Potatochopper of the month is also a rather subdued affair with nobody getting any votes, despite two people being nominated. Finally Reviewer of the Month has no nominations and thus, surprisingly, no votes so far this month. Why is this? We at the UnSignpost asked Uncyclopedia's dictator in-chief Mordillo what he thought; he agreed to consider the question after a stiff drink. We can only assume it was a strong one as we didn't hear back from him for 3 days. When he came back, he declared, "Uncyclopedia - UNITE! GO OUT TO THE STREETS AND DEMAND MORE BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE WELL SHAPED BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE THREESOMES WITH JEWS! and vote for NotM and RotM right? Trust us, we are the cabal, we know best". As Mordillo was being sedated, Socky bravely stepped in to fill his trousers and surprised everyone by saying "My thoughts on awards are that we should have a lot more of them and we should be a lot less serious about them. We could be having fun instead of worrying about drama. Voting will only lead to good results when not subjugated to logic." Socky went on to lay down his plans for ruling Uncyclopedia and restoring Germany to a dominant position in Europe; he left our interview early to annex Czechoslovakia, so thankfully we cannot bring you anything else from him this week. There is a point here, does Uncyclopedia need more awards? Or does it just need more contributors? All we know for sure is that you need to start voting NOW! Or tomorrow if you're a bit busy at the moment. Chief learns Latin; talks about lorums By Socky See {{lorum}} for a full transcript of his Latin writings.

Check out these pages! Mail Order Lobster When's your birthday? A surveillance camera!? From our logs: 13:58, November 21, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.112.195.238 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Enough time for you to go and have a bit pot of warm penises, just like you love them) 15:52, November 19, 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.126.123.197 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You suck at vandalism. You should probably try your hand at cooking or painting or something instead.) 14:40, November 18, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.120.230.138 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (I dunno - you expose a paedo, then it's you who gets in toruble. Fuckin' liberals, eh?) Biopic of the Week Prowling the corridors of UnNews and VFD, SPIKE has earned the respect of his peers through a combination of three things: Hard work, immaculate record keeping and... hard work. SPIKE is often to be found speaking into a microphone for UnNews, saving condemned articles on VFD and generally trying to make the site a better place. While he may not have as many features as some people, he makes up for it through a huge amount of work; his userpage is a comprehensive list of achievements, good deeds and a lot of other information that you probably don't need but he is prepared to give at no extra charge. I need all of it, of course, as I am building a database which I plan to flog to a corporation at some stage. If you contributed anything to UnNews or nominated an article for VFD this year then this man likely got involved at some stage. Respect him and get back to work. Old-school featured article of the week Are you tired of being a small cog in the giant machine of what is, for all intents and purposes, an infinite and uncaring universe? Of course, we all are! "But how do I, a mere newborn babe/small child/university student/accountant/elderly person just steps away from death's door, whose gaping maw is opened wide in anticipation of my ethereal etherealness, the insignificant mote of dust that is me, passing through its opening en route to what will surely be a depressing and disappointing eternity, attain oneness with the universe today?" you ask. How? Here's how. Newsroom UnTune of the week Stalker An UnSignpost apology As you know, we at the UnSignpost make few mistakes, but it has been brought to our attention that we misquoted Mordillo and made him look like a bit of a weirdo in the story to the left; this is highly regrettable and we enclose his full quote here by way of apology. "the ongoing voting trend that is directed at obvious targets such as WotM and UotM are a cardinal warning sign that Uncyclopedia is not only the worst, it keeps deteriorating. How else would you define a community that is centered on awarding its writers and goody two shoes? What about young new fresh people that are hopefully insatiable redheads with abnormal fondness of threesomes with Jews and MORE blondes? What about the people who take the substandard manure that the above said writers produce and fit them into shape?! Are we all doomed to be old shapeless writers? Will Uncyclopedia become like Europe - ageing, overweight and smug? Where are all the young willing blondes amongst the population?!" Editors note: Mordillo then went on to say the bit our journalist was awake for in the interview. The UnSignpost bitterly regrets having him sedated against his will due to this misunderstanding. We will be sending a fruit basket round to him as soon as his screams of anguish as the doctor inserted the needle stop being quite so funny.

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~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 01:04 (UTC)