User:Happymonkey39/Justin Bieber
| Justin Bieber | |
|---|---|
 Bieber minutes after being created by the Thunderbirds Group. | |
| Background information | |
| Birth name | Justin 'Cock' Bieber |
| Origin | Stratford, Ontario, Canada |
| Genres | Pop, R&B |
| Occupation(s) | Singer, songwriter,Unidentifyable Noise Maker |
| Instruments | Vocals, guitar, piano, penis, trumpet |
| Years active | 2007–present |
| Labels | Tracey Island Records, RBMG |
| Associated acts | Usher |
| Website | justinbiebermusic.com |
“She's a dude?”
“I'm a dude?”
“If I fucking see this kid in one of my restaurants, I'm going to fuck his shit up.”
“DROP ALREADYY!”
Justin Bieber is an experiment; formed in a laboratory on a Tracey Island as part of a push for new innovations by the Thunderbirds group. The experiment was named the GAYS project, standing for Girls are Attracted to Young Singers; made to see how far crazy women will go to stand up for there idols, no matter how bad they are at what they do. The GAYS foundation is sponsored by Usher, since he can't understand why women wont fall for his autotune anymore.
Creating the Monster[edit | edit source]
Justin Bieber was originally made to take over the world via blowing people's ear drums out of their sockets, followed by a complete shutdown of the brain. Unfortunately, the surgeon placed the vocal cords specially designed to do this too deep inside his body, thus making most of the impact of the screech obsolete as it is contained within Biebers body cavity.
This caused the immediate cancellation of the project. That is when Usher stepped in, he took a look at the young teen in the making and decided to sponsor the new plan that was in progress. Gay Sex Robots, or GSR for short.
Justin Bieber was programed to be as homosexual as possible, and along with the overly high pitched voice, he fit the description perfectly. They also attempted to give him the most retarded looking hairstyle possible, since it would get ruined from the gay sex anyways. This saved the company a lot of money. They also gave him as little knowledge as possible, making him nearly retarded. Another thing they did to save money was to spare him a penis; but this move was what would eventually bring the company to their demise. Since there was no penis, the GSR, was unable to get sponsored by the NGA, National Gay Association.
So Usher, with all of his money put into this fund, had to think of something to do with this robot other than sex, and quick. So he did it, he made it into a singer, letting the press think that he found him, although he practically created him. But, Usher took matter into his own hands, he knew that no woman could adore the dick-less robot, so he put a computer chip in that causes his voice to hypnotize anyone who hears him. Thus bringing the GAYS experiment, to life, as well as bringing the plague we now know today as Justin Bieber.
In the Beginning[edit | edit source]
Justin started of by making gay porn videos with Usher. Unfortunately (for them), people though he was a real 16 year old girl and Usher was sent to jail for rape, haveing sex with a minor, and making child porn as well. So Justin was on his own. He decided to make youtube videos of him singing, and of course, the hypnotizing worked through the internet. So in a matter of months women were crazy about this man. Now (most) men, had strong enough minds to not fall into the mind control, like Java the Hut in Star Wars.
Bieber Fever[edit | edit source]
Justin became a world wide catastrophe phenomenon, making women faint, but while doing so, killing others. You see, the chip usher had placed in him was supposed to hypnotize women, but he made a slight error. Although it did work on women, men were effected quite the opposite. They would start to feel achy inside. This was the first sign of the new plague...the Bieber Fever. Symptoms include:
- Yellow Fever
- Obsession with Ponies
Sudden Urges to scratch oneselfthis was proven to be a male habit rather than a symptom.- Nausea
- Heartburn
- Indigestion
- Upset stomach
- C-c-c-combo breaking
- Loss of Penis
- Sudden urge to repeat a word relating to love
- Protection of Virginity
2010 Biography[edit | edit source]
Bieber has recently decided to publish his 'memoirs' in time for Christmas 2010 despite the fact he is only aged around 10 or 11 (nobody really knows for sure). His memoirs are set to cover just over one whole page in generous font size which Bieber claims is just about enough to cover his whole life so far. There have been many claims that Bieber is doing his memoirs so early simply to boost his finances, all of which are true.