User talk:Necropaxx/archive 8
 | This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. The current version of this page can be found at User talk:Necropaxx. |
I am calling you a sissy fellow for having an empty talk page.
And I don't like sissy fellows. Except for that one guy. He was ok. Woody On Fire! 
Talking Woody Stalking Woody 00:47, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
- What happened to the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am type of rape? Hmph! Back in my day... • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 00:51, Jan 5 2010
Thanks for the nom!
You are a good harbinger of death. IronLung 02:12, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
Colts
I removed that suicide line, per your conditional for. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:24, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you, good sir. I shall add to the score forthwith. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 04:40, Jan 5 2010
The fix is in
That should sort it out. Border collapse isn't essential but helps with the formatting when viewed on FF. Background on a table is default white, so adding the style in the table with a particular colour would work, but background:none is my preferred as it allows you to do a few other funky things (such as a clickable animated gif, but who would use them?) Also if you are using a colour of #444444 then you can shorten that to just #444 - easier to type. Pup
- I noticed. I'm still trying to clean up the mess... Pup
This Template May Contain Boobies
| Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome To Violence ...the word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains... sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled. Yet violence doesn't only destroy, it creates and molds as well. Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!.................................................... |
This trailer has been rated PG and contains suggestive language, violence and big mean girls.-- 16:22, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
Ta!
 |
Woo! Yay, go you! Under User has decided that you are "quite a decent sort", which is apparently one of his highest terms of praise! This is therefore a good thing, and in accordance with this, he's throwing a party down the manhole to celebrate. Look at him go! You're not invited though. Don't take it personally. |
I think I already gave you cake, did I give you this? Thanks for a fine review. --UU - natter 
08:39, Jan 7
5000ish
I led a couple of people to 5000 and was going to let them race, but did I make a mistake and you can't go twice in a row? If so, then I did a head fake and snuck in myself. Can't find the rules anyhwhere, but when I look at the pages can't find anyone going twice in a row. Besides, Cheese is being an ungrateful fuck, so I feel ok asking this and claiming it if it's mine. Thanks, Aleister in Chains MMX
I want you to know
that I hold you personally responsible for my loss on Unsurvivor. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 00:52, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
Complaint
I wanted to fit in... 
Don 
Puttano cHeDDs 
01:01,9January,2010
- In answer to your question, my good man, heck is where people go who don't believe in gosh. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 01:28, Jan 9 2010
- I feel the need to sing the Princess Diana version of Candle in the Wind. mAttlobster. (hello) 01:30, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
"Independent film" vs. "No budget film"
What do you think? No budget film kind of has fewer preconceptions. It's fairly clear now that, as you said in the review, independent film just has too many possibilities for humour on its own without being mixed in with another idea. Won't require much change hopefully, the name is still relevant (unless you're drinking bottled water during the film, then you can expect to spend more than the budget of most blockbusters) and I may still be able to poke a bit of fun at independent film. --Nikau 12:12, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
O necropaxx
Go read my papyrus bla bla, then vote on it. • • 
• 
• 08:41 • Monday, 11-01-2010
Advanced Study Program
| DON'T FORGET TO STUDY THESE MOVIES TOO! |
Gimme a few days and I'll write something that gives you the exact opposite reaction! Monster movies are like some kind of religion that transcends everything else. Thanks for the vote! -- 11:46, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
Can you not hear the cries of the innocent!?
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HITLER AND MUSSOLINI INVADED COUNTRIES THANK YOU TEMPLATES INVADE TALK PAGES TEMPLATES ARE LIKE HITLER AND MUSSOLINI A vote "For" an article on VFH is a vote "For" Hitler and Mussolini!! |
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Don't be fooled! Every 
Against. vote is a slap to Hitler's face! -- 13:46, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks!
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The doctor will see you now
Oh, by the way, before we begin today's session, I'd like to thank you for supporting my recent featured article. |
UnSignpost January several-days-agoth
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
Jan 14th, 2010 • Issue71 • Keeping You Guessing
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Uncyclopedia Voting Season Arrives, Users Driven To Voting Frenzy
 UnSignpost's fearless reporter and mascot DogNewspaper (pictured) predicts a bumper month for whoring, in-fighting, backstabbing and bitching as users scramble to secure themselves a fleeting moment's recognition from up to several of their peers. Followed by next to no voting in February, as everyone recovers. From the desk of the Cabal: 2010 ordered to be Drama free
 As Uncyclopedia drunkenly stumbles into the new decade, barely managing to hold down that spicy dinner it had for lunch, the non-existent cabal would like to wish all residents a happy new year. And by wish we mean order, residents would be subjects and by happy new year we mean fuck you all where communism hasn't failed yet. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we saw it all in 2009. We saw dozens of forums declaring that we're the worst (which we know), we saw numerous editors leave the front door open on the way out (come on people! it's bloody -7 outside!), we saw epic banninations (the simple joys of life), we saw prolific gay bashing (ideologically pure of course), we saw religious wars over sausages, we saw the worst 100 reflections of 2009 barely close before the midnight of December 31st. You promised in 2008 you wouldn't do that. You failed us. And so, ladies and gentlemen, we raise our collective arses from the toilet which was 2009, wiping it with the first anniversary edition of the UnSignpost, as this is the only good thing that ever came out of this rag of a newspaper. We would like to ask humbly that the population of Uncyclopedia do the following: Please, for the love of Sophia, remain calm; exit the building in an orderly fashion; remember that objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are; understand that allergen traces may be found in this Uncyclopedia. And always remember the prime directive: you are here to have fun. Or in short - shut the fuck up and go write an article. Thank you for your undivided attention citizens. You may now remove your muzzles. |
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I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter 09:32, Jan 18
I just had a burst of inspiration
And I came up with a perfect title for a brilliant article: Negro Packs. —Sir Socky
(talk) (stalk)
GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 04:32, 20 January 2010
- Is it about the timeless story of an everyman Negro named Jarell and his journey to a new apartment outside the ghetto and toward a better life? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 04:35, Jan 20 2010
Little Annie Hathaway
Hi. Your a user I respect here, so if you have a minute or twenty-five could you tell me what you found or didn't find in Hathaway, it would be very appreciated (if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge, tell me where ta meet ya, wink wink nudge nudge). I left a new comment on the VFH page, to explain the start of the article. Thanks, and cheers. Aleister in Chains Today, MMX
- Well, it does drift a lot. That is its main problem, and it is enough of a distraction for me to vote against. Also, some of the jokes felt kind of weak. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 15:07, Jan 20 2010
- Thanks. Drifting may come from the Method acting spine of the article, just playing with an actress who lives her roles until she breaks character, so drift and randomness are built-in, I guess. Works on one level but loses on others. Danks again. Allah some Chains, Jah Days of our lives, MMX
UnSignpost 21th January 2009
The Newspaper the Whole Family Must Enjoy!
Jan 21st, 2010 • Issue 72 • Yorkshire-style news
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Awards of the Year race thrillingly poised
In the most prestigious award of the lot, Writer of the Year, the race for second place behind prolific funny factory and champion-elect Hype is neck and neck between apparently-no-longer-hirsute TKF fan-club president and feature-machine Guildy and low-profile but high-quality-output, er, feature-machine Sog1970. But wait! There's still a chance they could get caught by the chasing pack of little-known and modest Scouser Mhaille, hetero macho-man Orian57, antipodean canine PuppyOnTheRadio and none-more-metal mosher Monika. Oh, and some other chancers have been nommed without polling a single vote (including DrStrange, who is currently looking likely to become the first Uncyclopedian ever to win WotM twice, but hasn't carried that form over to WotY - odd). Meanwhile, over at PotY, the race for second place behind Sonje is even closer, with both Modus and some n00b polling a creditable one nom but no votes each! Who will pull ahead by the end of the month? It's a competition you just can't keep your eyes off! Disappointingly, the UotY vote lets the side down, with seemingly a boring old race for first place between Belgian one-man categorisation whirlwind, maintenance addict, broken thing fixer, BUTT POOP!!! junkie and footwear-as-handwear exponent Socky and handsome English admin who wrote this article and is not in the least bit biased UU. The apparent scramble to be runner-up to whichever of these two is runner-up is far more interesting, as non-stop wikifixer MadMax goes up against Welsh Rarebit RabbiTechno, not-Yorkshire-enough admin Mordillo, vowel-free-zone Mnbvcxz and Moterfucking Nigger Lover Roman Dog Bird. Damned with the faint praise of a nom with no votes in this category are the pants bomber, talk page king FU Spang, human non-sequitur generator Modus and absent but deadly hockey nut Gerry. And finally, over where it's really at, the NotD cockfight is almost impossible to call! Will plucky outsider RC hold off the challenge of Apple, Apples and Maddie's life? The tension is quite literally unbearable! But remember kids: whoever "wins", we're all still losers. And now, your not-at-all-struggling-for-material Signpost brings you... Horoscopes!
For the rest of this week's horoscopes in full, see the horoscopes page, obviously. |
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Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday!
9001(bot) 
17:37, Jan 21
Pee request
Mind reviewing this? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Iwillkillyou333 (talk • contribs)
- Well, that depends. Do you mind waiting until Saturday, when I'm free? Also, could you sign your posts? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 04:10, Jan 22 2010
With thanks
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Uncle-Dad thanks you in the only way he knows: a long glass of moonshine and an hour with his niece-wife. |
IronLung 22:08, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
Late thanks
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An expression of gratitude We appreciate your discerning judgment and shrewd disposition in voting for HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics, even though the author is a ne'er-do-well and never pealed a steeple bell. |
~
18:11, Jan 24, 2010
Thanks!
Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.
Your support is greatly appreciated.
—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:43, January 26, 2010 (UTC)
Amber is the color of your energy
Because your talk page didn't have enough gay. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 07:05, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
- Amber is the color of the amber that created the velociraptors in Jurassic Park. I rest my case, ya pink dancing fairy. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 10:55, Jan 28 2010
- Velociraptors like these? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 08:02, January 29, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 28th January 2010
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
Jan 28th • Issue 73 • A Periodical. Period.
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Continuing Absence Of Certain Users Forces Other Users To Do Things
 Also bravely stepping into the "ban magnet" position created by the continuing and lamented absence of hyperactive loon Cajek is, well, a plethora of users. Admins, deprived of their favourite joke-ban target, have taken to joke banning anyone in an attempt to get their fix. Even those devoted to doing only good, just and true works have recently been targeted; and as if to prove this very statement, some power-crazed asshole went and joke banned Socky, RabbiTechno and Optimuschris as soon as he'd written this sentence. Elsewhere, ChiefjusticeDS has been filling the gap left by the absence of someone's enthusiasm for anything pee-related right at the moment by looking after the pee list, taking over as the person with the most in-depth reviews, reviewing everyone else's reviews, and generally not being lazy about it all. Rumours that, in the relative absence of Orian57, Roman Dog Bird will take over the position of "token gay" are unconfirmed at the time of going to press. And finally, in the absence of enough content to make this issue balance out nicely, the UnSignpost is once again resorting to using blatant filler for the first time this year. Shameless, that's what it is. Complain to someone - it's the only way they'll learn. |
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With all due respect
I really respect you as an Uncyco, but I do have a question. Do you think it's a good idea to insult someone's vote on VFH? Especially when it's a new user. Admittedly, a quick review of that user's edits did not impress me with their genius, but still. I think if you want to make a negative comment about a user, a voting page isn't the best place for it (I have seen people chastised before for doing that). Thanks for listening! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 05:02, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
- When I first read your comment I sort of panicked. "Me? Insult another user on VFH? When?!" I assume you're referring to the Michael Jackson nomination where a certain Captain Oblivious voted against? Well, yeah I guess I deserved that. But really, you should look at the talk page. So... many... idiots.... And the satire is totally obvious! So when that throwaway user (100USD says he doesn't last a week) made that stupid against vote, I facepalmed. It probably should have stopped there, but darnit there's enough idiots on Uncyclopedia, and we don't need no more of 'em! Anyway, thanks for the check on me. I deserved that. Cheers! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 08:31, Jan 30 2010
- It just goes to show you aren't perfect. Maybe nearly perfect, but not perfect. Perfection here is reserved for me. I never make misteaks. Mistakes. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 19:01, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Uh-huh. --SIR Pretentious Loser (Have a mocha cappuccino and a sit down) Sunday, 05:52, Jan 31 2010
- It just goes to show you aren't perfect. Maybe nearly perfect, but not perfect. Perfection here is reserved for me. I never make misteaks. Mistakes. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 19:01, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
Hea dude
Tis no biggie if you are busy, but I was wondering if you might have time to take a second look at Uncyclopedia:VFH/Laird Hamilton (Post Pee) and Laird Hamilton while it's still on VFH. The style of the article has been improved greatly, and maybe you might have a different opinion on this one now. Like I said, it's no problem if you are too busy, see ya around... MrN 
17:12, Jan 31
Hey Sexy
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Thanks luv u |
Thanks for the vote. -- Don Puttano cHeDDs 20:00,31January,2010
- I was in the Boys Scouts for a long time. We will make beautiful music together.[1] • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 22:20, Jan 31 2010
- I wanted to be in the Girl Scouts for a long time. No, really I wanted to be in a Girl Scout for a long time. No, I wanted to be in the Girl Scouts for a long time. All of them. (The preceeding comment was made by a former Boy Scout who never so much as kissed a girl). 04:09, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
- ↑ By helping old ladies cross the street and then selling them Thin Mints. For that is the way of true romance.
Thank you!!
I stand here before you, arms outstretched and butterflies exploding from my zipper, in thanks for supporting me for Uncyclopedia:Writer of the Year.
Throughout 2009, many people had stupid ideas, and many of those people wrote those stupid ideas down, but apparently you agreed that no one thought of so many idiotic things, nor humiliated himself on such a regular basis, as I.
You pity me! You really pity me!
May 2010 be an even worse year for us all!
- That has to be the gayest thing I have ever seen. :D • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 23:11, Feb 1 2010
RotM
As the previous winner of RotM (if we don't count Under User stealing it for a second time), I congratulate you on winning RotM! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 22:27, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks for my using your ripped off UotM template
User:Why do I need to provide this?/UotM Thanks King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 23:08, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Yarr! N00bins off th' starb'rd tops'l! Ahoy lads! It's time fer pillagin'! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 23:10, Feb 1 2010
- Say, salty pirate talk! I really did rip off your template code. But I made lots of changes. That's what I usually do. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 23:15, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
Loser!
Yeah, I said it! Pup
UnSignpost 4th February 2010
Word to your mother.
Feb 4th, 2010 • Issue 74 • Ain't It Uncool? News!
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Spang Archives Talkpage; End of World Expected Imminently
 Award Winners Speak Exclusively to UnSignpost Well, there you go folks, looks like the "... of the Year" award voting is done and dusted for another year. Thanks to all who voted; without you, the admins would probably have less to do, which would obviously be dangerous. Anyway, that aside, your ever-topical Unsignpost went and mugged the various winners for comments on their various wins. Several of them, of course, have already made their feelings clear to those who voted for them by way of the traditional thanks templates. Apart from UU, because he's a lazy ass. Or because he's busy writing this. Whichever. Anyway again, for the benefit of those who didn't vote for the winners, and don't watch their talk pages, here's what they had to say: Runaway WotY Hype said: "Thanks, you guys!! If you'll permit me to be dead serious for the first time ever on the wiki, this really is an honor, and it's pretty damn touching that so many people came out in support of my work. Whew. Being serious felt weird. I feel... strange. BALLS BALLS PENIS COCK. Ah... there's the stuff!" He then went off to write another My Sojourn spin-off. Even more runaway PotY Sonje said: "Thank you, I intend to return as soon as I can. I am currently in Africa with very limited internet access. I'll try to time my return to co-incide with the Oscars so that I can get some pointers for my acceptance speech." Admittedly, that was before we asked her for a comment, but then, she is in Africa with limited internet access. Joint UotY Socky channeled Churchill to say: "*scrapes throat* Ahem! I would like to say to the community as I would say to anyone who joined this website: Uncyclopedia has nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs — Victory in spite of all error — Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival. … That seems to be the wrong Churchill speech. Okay, I'll give it another try. *scrapes throat again* The gratitude of every home throughout the world, except in the abodes of the guilty, goes out to the British airmen and Belgian spies who, undaunted by odds, unwearied in their constant challenge and mortal danger, are turning the tide of the Wiki War by their prowess and by their devotion. Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to two people. And so on and so on… Woot! Woot!" Long-winded bugger. And other joint UotY UU said: "wow, Socky's already left me needing a lot of filler for the right panel, so I'll keep this shortish. First, it's good to see someone who isn't an admin get their hands on this award, and Socky's hard work deserves recognition. Second, it's great to have my complete lack of a life recognised in this way. Third, did someone say Spang's archived his talk page? What the fuck's that all about?." Oh, and Dr. Skullthumper was UGotY, but that was a foregone conclusion anyway. He didn't seem to have any comment of his own to make, so TKF hopped in to the breach with "I call the award a "fascist disgrace" and "move to permanently disbar Mike Socia, that ape from Lighting who made my mole visible to all of the goddamn world watching the ceremony."" Which about wraps it all up, I hope. |
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Just about this...
I like this article - not as a featureable thingy but just as I found the whole stealing intellectual copyright from a parody source a ludicrous concept, and I used the self reference as I felt the humour would be more effective if I used a parody of a recognisable thing as one of the elements. The assumption here is that people who are reading an article on Uncyclopedia would find the parody of Uncyclopedia more approachable than a parody of College humour or Mad TV, to site the two real life examples that I've used. Is there anything that you feel could be added to this in order to improve it? (Other than more archive 8 references of course.) Pup
- Well, I know that the concept is there, but I disagree that the parody of Uncyclopedia would be better received. The average reader has no idea who UU or Rosencrantzinpants are. The entire article would go right over their collective heads. So, I would recommend switching it to a more recognizable parody source. :/ Plus, the whole self-referencing thing is rather bad form, wot, even outside of Uncyclopedia's borders. Although some Necropaxx references wouldn't go amiss. :D • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 19:59, Feb 6 2010
Thanks for the nom!
But you said I know what I'm doing. I do not, I just wander around typing gibberish, and my spellcheck converts it into words, and whether they mean anything is accidential. I also attempt not to make this place explode. But I fail at the second one.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! 
NOTM 22:43, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
The list
Well I didn't expect to see that, are you going to make a habit of it or was this a one off to prove you could? As you are disrupting my list zen and I would like fair warning so that I may properly rearrange the idols. --ChiefjusticeDS 00:06, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Gah! You're online! This is probably a one-off, like you say, but I really am trying to help. Just revert me when I'm all finished. :SSSSS • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:07, Feb 11 2010
- But this might become a regular thing. Who knows? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:08, Feb 11 2010
- Well I have the majority of it in hand, but thanks very much for drawing my attention to the lack of a 2010 proletariat table. I would welcome someone else patrolling the completed reviews and offering words of wisdom to those distributing particularly poor reviews, I used to get Why? to do it but now he apparently has better things to do. --ChiefjusticeDS 00:12, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, hey! I've got nothing better to do! Clearly, I am the man for the job. :D • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:13, Feb 11 2010
- Awesome, nice work with the table by the way.... HOW DARE YOU EDIT CONFLICT ME!!! There I was thinking "har har har, so that is how to collapse the table, I'll go do it now while Necropaxx is looking at his talk page, then he will be in awe" but no you managed to do it first, snatching away my small victory. --ChiefjusticeDS 00:17, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Bahahahaha! Now my ultimate victory is at hand! Anyway, thanks for being patient with me while I mucked about. You should get UU to tell you about the last time I tried editing the list... Let's just say I'm glad nothing's broken this time. :/ • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:20, Feb 11 2010
- No problem, I think I heard about it in passing at one point, but thanks very much for helping me out, and for out my inadequacies at counting in the past, it's rather reassuring to have someone making sure things aren't too badly screwed up. --ChiefjusticeDS 00:25, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Oh the irony of what you were doing as I was writing the above. --ChiefjusticeDS 00:27, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Check again, I just did it again. See? This is why you need me. :P • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:27, Feb 11 2010
- What a team. This system is completely under control and without any difficulties. --ChiefjusticeDS 00:31, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Bahahahaha! Now my ultimate victory is at hand! Anyway, thanks for being patient with me while I mucked about. You should get UU to tell you about the last time I tried editing the list... Let's just say I'm glad nothing's broken this time. :/ • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:20, Feb 11 2010
- Awesome, nice work with the table by the way.... HOW DARE YOU EDIT CONFLICT ME!!! There I was thinking "har har har, so that is how to collapse the table, I'll go do it now while Necropaxx is looking at his talk page, then he will be in awe" but no you managed to do it first, snatching away my small victory. --ChiefjusticeDS 00:17, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, hey! I've got nothing better to do! Clearly, I am the man for the job. :D • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:13, Feb 11 2010
- Well I have the majority of it in hand, but thanks very much for drawing my attention to the lack of a 2010 proletariat table. I would welcome someone else patrolling the completed reviews and offering words of wisdom to those distributing particularly poor reviews, I used to get Why? to do it but now he apparently has better things to do. --ChiefjusticeDS 00:12, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
- But this might become a regular thing. Who knows? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:08, Feb 11 2010
"I used to get Why? to do it but now he apparently has better things to do." Why got "volunteered" by someone to get IC back in the water. My body and mind may be on board ship out at sea, but my heart's still peeing. Wait, that doesn't sound very good. You know what I mean. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 04:37, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Aw, man, that stinks. Heart disease at your age... Too young, man, too young.... • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 04:38, Feb 13 2010
- Actually, my heart's been leaking since I was a young teenager. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 19:09, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 11th February 2010
Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.
Feb 11th, 2010 • Issue 75 • Picking the nuts of truth out of the muesli of news. Or something.
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New way to win awards, impress friends, crush rivals!
 Yes, that's right, The Article Whisperer is a competition that gives you the ideas to get you started, all you need to do is supply the funny. What could be easier? Well, since you ask, perhaps judging it could? Max is also looking for at least 4 more opinionated types, unafraid of passing withering judgement on their peers. If you're interested in judging or entering, or if you have a good idea that would elevate this competition from being a damn good idea to a colossally awesome one, let MadMax know either on his talk page, or on the article's talk page. For those who want to selflessly improve the wiki while crushing all around them under the steel wheels of their genius, there can be no finer opportunity! General news round-up
Mordillo nearly went mad attempting to feature all articles tied for tenth place in the top 10 of last year. And then spent the rest of this month to date patiently fielding questions about how long the rest of the featuring was going to take, and when normal featuring would resume. POTR did his best to help. When not asked for a quote, Mordillo said "FUCK YOU VERY MUCH AND SEE YOU IN 2011". We think he's just talking about the top 10, and not about taking a 10 month hiatus. That is, we hope so. A recent VFD nomination ended in a deletion marathon, as MrN and RDB spent 2 hours removing every last trace of the notorious Game:Page. Apart from the traces Mordillo deleted, that is. And the redirects to it that UU took care of, come to think of it. But still, all told, an impressive act of mass carnage only made more awesome by the fact that they somehow managed to delete Socky's userpage at one point during the proceedings. MrN claims "Both RDB and me still have sore huffing fingers you know". |
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iPad Thanks
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I see you voted for my new iPad Many thanks. |
Thanks for voting on my first featured article! -- 19:51 EST 14 Feb, 2010
YOU BEEN TRESPASSIN'
Damn, son. You dang put a seed in my daughter's belly. Thank your stars you're also my brother, or I'd kill you. -- 03:00, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
- Augh Family Guy references MUST KILL • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:01, Feb 16 2010
- This is great! We've gotta go back on tour and spread the word. Guns are good! Without guns I'd still be in a wheelchair. Guns heal the sick! -- 03:10, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
- At which point I must admit I've only seen a few episodes of Family Guy. :/ • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:12, Feb 16 2010
- Oh no, this is the American Dad! recital group. -- 03:14, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
- Ah, they're all the same. Go on, prove me wrong. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:16, Feb 16 2010
- Actually, I agree. They're all rip-offs of the Simpsons and MacFarlane uses them to promote his fascist liberal beliefs!!! BTW, I agree with your penis joke reasoning. I vote on a similar reason with the spreading hitlerjoke culture. -- 03:20, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
- IT'S TRUE LOL. Thanks for "getting" my against vote reason, nach. That article made me feel weird. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:22, Feb 16 2010
- And not in a good way. Otherwise it would have been for. But you knew that. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:23, Feb 16 2010
- Huh, that's funny. The first time I showed a girlfriend my writing, she claimed she felt "weird, but not in a good way" and then says she's thinks she's actually a lesbian. And then she left me. *Plays harp* -- 03:28, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
- And not in a good way. Otherwise it would have been for. But you knew that. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:23, Feb 16 2010
- IT'S TRUE LOL. Thanks for "getting" my against vote reason, nach. That article made me feel weird. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:22, Feb 16 2010
- Actually, I agree. They're all rip-offs of the Simpsons and MacFarlane uses them to promote his fascist liberal beliefs!!! BTW, I agree with your penis joke reasoning. I vote on a similar reason with the spreading hitlerjoke culture. -- 03:20, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
- Ah, they're all the same. Go on, prove me wrong. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:16, Feb 16 2010
- Oh no, this is the American Dad! recital group. -- 03:14, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
- At which point I must admit I've only seen a few episodes of Family Guy. :/ • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:12, Feb 16 2010
- This is great! We've gotta go back on tour and spread the word. Guns are good! Without guns I'd still be in a wheelchair. Guns heal the sick! -- 03:10, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
- you mean you've both turned girls gay? Wow! Pup 11:45, 16/02/2010
- No no, you've got that backwards. The girls turned us gay. Then we went to the nearest Starbucks and began commenting on the patrons' awful style choices. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 14:34, Feb 16 2010
- And I introduced the usage of black powder as a more innovative step towards smokeless powder in Winchester repeating rifles around the time the west was won. Of course, that was before I successfully proved Euclid's theory of Elements. -- 14:58, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
- No no, you've got that backwards. The girls turned us gay. Then we went to the nearest Starbucks and began commenting on the patrons' awful style choices. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 14:34, Feb 16 2010
google chrome thingy
Hey... I can never remember who uses what browser, although for some reason I have in mind you use google chrome. Could you do me a favour? Could you have a look at User:PuppyOnTheRadio/aitd and let me know what it does on your computer? And while you're at it User:PuppyOnTheRadio/aitd:charsel? They're still in the process of being worked on, so it won't be perfectly functional, but I'm trying to make sure this works on at least the majority of current browsers. Pup 02:41, 18/02/2010
- Yeah, I'm the Chrome guy, and yeah, they work, and yeah, they look totally awesome. Now I'm all in suspense. Look what you've done. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 05:19, Feb 18 2010
UnSignpost 18th February 2010
Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!
Feb 18th, 2010 • Issue 76 • Now with 20% more vanity!
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Understanding of the universe is shattered; Creation as we know it is defunct
One of the most controversial elements of religious understanding has been the answer to the question "How did we get here?" This has often been seen in the debate that has been long held between Creationists and Evolutionists. Now that Imperial Colonisation is back on its feet, under the able guidance of IC Buccaneer Admiral Why?, they are educating the masses on this as we speak. "The article had been befouled by some evil doers, probably French or Spanish or Americans or worse. We are diligently researching and writing to bring the article in line with the Truth." stated Buccaneer Admiral Why?. A dramatic re-write is in process, as Why? has all his seamen working towards the noble goal of indoctrinating the masses in Creationist theory. After some false starts involving a banana and a jar of peanut butter, the recreation of creationism is being created. "The colonized article will show how the Empire has the right and duty to colonize everywhere by any methods available, and that anything we do is God's will. We will finish it by Saturday, 20 of February, or by Saturday, 27 of February, depending upon how long it takes us to colonize the natives. Anyone who wishes to apply to join our noble effort may do so at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization." Why? stated in closing. Darwin awards - Uncyclopedia Stylie
Fortunately he showed the resilience that 10 year olds have when they are in the middle of doing something completely idiotic, and continued to trawl through people's talk pages, undo their edits, and generally be a dick. MrN9000, understanding the right balance of politeness and harshness, gave I LIKE PIE!!! a friendly message on his talk page, with a 1 week ban to support the severity of his words. Undeterred, I LIKE PIE!!! later returned. 1 week and 35 minutes after his previous ban, MrN repeated his previous words to the young man, along with a further 1 week ban. Thankfully, it appears that I LIKE PIE!!! took MrN's words to heart, as he managed to last a further 30 minutes after this second ban before he ran afoul of Roman Dog Bird, who in true RDB style demonstrated what an infinite ban actually means. When hard-hitting journalists pressed for details relating to the banning of this pre-pubescent pestilence, MrN replied "What kinda a journalist are you man!?!" Congratulations, I LIKE PIE!!!, for becoming the inaugural Uncyclopedia Darwin award winner, and removing yourself from the meme pool that we all enjoy. |
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- Ewwwwwwwwwww!! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 04:12, Feb 21 2010
- I see what he has done there. --Chiefjustice3DS 22:53, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
AITD
Only 50 more pages to go! Nominally Humane! some time 05:41, 24/02/2010
- Woo! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAYNAME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTTIME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTMONTHABBREV}} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAY}} {{SUBST:CURRENTYEAR}} UTC
- Okay, I was slightly off. It was more like 300 pages... Game:Alone in the dark Nominally Humane! some time 06:33, 28/02/2010
UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)
The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!
Feb 25th, 2010 • Issue 77 • Slurping the froth of Truth off the cappuccino of News
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Games, games and more games! We have more games then you can poke a stick at!
 Is the games namespace 99.9% shit was the question elegantly asked by OptyC recently. A simple question that has sparked a storm in a teacup. While Uncyclopedia is, undoubtably, the pinnacle of fine parody, it has been suggested the this particular poor cousin of the Main space has been allowed to fall into disrepair and disrepute due to the influx of poorly crafted content. In the words of one editor Delete it. It's cruft and I'm not even sure if it qualifies as a parody namespace of anything on Wikipedia. However, despite the lack of quality content, a significant portion of users have requested that it remain in play, however it be improved by having a little tender loving care given to it, along with a more rigid amount of cruft huffing. As such, it is with open arms we welcome the inclusion into this realm of the new moderator of the Games namespace OptyC, who will be referred to going forward as the Game Master. Upon the announcement of this singularly spectacular accolade, Optyc's first words were Maybe I shoulda just kept my mouth shut, eh? Although much respect must be levelled his way at the way he has taken to his new role with much gusto, winnowing through the chaff to find the kernels of wheat available in there. For more information on these developments, visit Forum:The Games namespace. It's Alive!
 A new blow to the "democrats"/"liberals"/"whiny bitches" of Uncyclopedia, opposing the disputed hereditary law. Senior member of the non existent Cabal and editor-in-chief-in-absentia of this newspaper, UU has announced the birth of heiress to the throne, also known as UUette. UUette was reportedly born holding a scepter and a miniature ban hammer, wearing a crown and QVFD grade galoshes and waving frantically at the hysterical cheering masses. The non existent cabal promptly announced a reserved seat for UUette in the VFS round of 2026 as well as the prestigious position of "Noob of the Month". A shrouded spokesperson for the Cabal noted that "it would have been important for the Cabal, were it to exist, that the existing Cabal dynasty, especially one coming from such a quality genetic specimen such as UU, shall continue without disturbance. The Cabal is greatly pleased with UU and Mrs. UU for bolstering its numbers for the Sporadic demonstration of support were noted around the Uncyclopedia realm, as supporters of the Cabal were seen with "DEAR UUette IS GREAT" and "ALL HAIL THE HEIR APPARENT" signs. So called "democratic"/"liberals"/"whiny bitches" protests were dealt with swiftly and efficiently. And from all of us in the UnSignpost here is one big congratulations UU, may your daughter have huge...errr..tracks of land. |
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UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)
Word to your mother.
Mar 4th, 2010 • Issue 78 • Snorting the drug of Truth from the toilet seat of News
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Controversy over Uncyclopedian leads journalist to public outcry
 The "of the Month" nominations and celebrations have been marred recently by drama circulating in forums, talk pages and on vote pages in various areas. Fortunately, whenever and wherever a drama has reared its ugly head an Unsignpost reporter has been there to cover it. Why do I need to provide this? is now experiencing his second week of not having been nominated for anything. After mentioning to a respected editor that he had been nominated for at least one award for almost every day he had been part of the Uncyclopedia community, he bemoaned the fact that he had not been nominated for anything this month. "I've been nommed for something EVERY SINGLE DAY of the five months I've been here--until this month. I'm not nommed for anything. It's pretty depressing, really." Why? complained As a result of this complaining, Why? was then nominated for an award that had been more respected in the breach then in the observance - to paraphrase the bard - Nomination of the Month. When, after a series of events, Roman Dog Bird felt obliged to nominate Aleister in Chains' Nomination for NOTM of PuppyOnTheRadio's nomination for NOTM of Why do I need to provide this?'s nomination of PuppyOnTheRadio for UGotM, he simply stated "This is a stupid award." Meanwhile, at UotM, discussion over the number of awards given out led to an obvious discussion about the worth of RotM and UotM, which of course led, as all conversational roads do, to the hugely popular and debatably talented Dan Brown, not to be confused with Dan Kwon, as we aren't quite sure who he is. The debate got unexpectedly heated when a talented and handsome editor suggested that another less talented editor should perform carnal and bestial acts with random household appliances. Remember to cast your vote in AotM, PotM, RotM, NotM and WotM, or nominate the uncyc member that has impressed you most in these areas. And of course, always remember Mordillo's words, "This one is for people who made Uncyclopedia better by cleaning up shop, helping people and allow Uncyclopedia to wobble around without falling over." Vote today. Or tomorrow - depending on if you have the time.
And with the current vote count standing at 6 in favour, and with few regularly active sysops left to vote, it looks like the chances are that there will be new sysops by the end of this month - so time to start deciding who you're gonna nominate! Who will be the next to have a thousand IPs ask them on their talkpage why they deleted their useless little one-line stub? Stay tuned to find out? |
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Your signature
Could you fix your siggy? Your timestamp says comments you just made were made in February. It's screws up us anally-retentive time travelers' perspective on reality, and makes it difficult for us know which stocks we will have already invested in. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 22:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
- Gah, you're right, it is screwed up. I posted a topic in the help forum (here), so hopefully someone will help me out as I have no idea what I'm doing. Thanks for letting me know! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAYNAME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTTIME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTMONTHABBREV}} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAY}} {{SUBST:CURRENTYEAR}} UTC
- No problem. I make so many mistakes here, it makes me feel all warm inside when I can accuse someone else of doing it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 23:21, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
- Believe us, we know. Ah, don't worry about it, as you can see we're all prone to slip and fall every once in a while. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAYNAME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTTIME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTMONTHABBREV}} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAY}} {{SUBST:CURRENTYEAR}} UTC
- Now it's even more broken...—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
NOTM 23:41, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
- Now it's even more broken...—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- Believe us, we know. Ah, don't worry about it, as you can see we're all prone to slip and fall every once in a while. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAYNAME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTTIME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTMONTHABBREV}} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAY}} {{SUBST:CURRENTYEAR}} UTC
- No problem. I make so many mistakes here, it makes me feel all warm inside when I can accuse someone else of doing it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 23:21, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
Upsilon Sigma Sigma
Hey Necro, I'm just going around trying to drum up support for a new group I'm trying to get going. I've been sitting here, thinking to myself, "gee, Uncyclopedia has a lot of stuff, a legal department, a political party, and an assortment of other great things, but it doesn't have a fraternity." I also noticed that the top 50 wanted articles list hasn't changed in over a year. Soooooo, I was wondering if perhaps you'd like to join me and potentially others in the 1st Uncyclopedia fraternity, ΥΣΣ, Upsilon Sigma Sigma, a collaborative an independent organization with the aim of writing exclusively requested articles. Pop on by the page, if it's something you're interested in, just let me know. -- 16:54 9 Mar, 2010
- Possibly... or maybe it's a sign? Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 01:40, Mar 11 2010 UTC
- Yes... a sign that POTR ENJOYS SCROTUM!• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 23:23, Mar 11 2010
- I am so deeply offended. I don't like scrotum at all. Cock, on the other hand, is a different matter... Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 01:45, Mar 12 2010 UTC
- That's not what I heard... • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 17:38, Mar 13 2010
- Nah, if you want someone who likes scrotum, look for Pelargonium.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 17:41, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
- You know, I could defend him, but you're probably right. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 17:46, Mar 13 2010
- I've clearly been away too long. tallks of scrotum and my name isn't even dropped. :( Orian57 Talk
16:34 14 March 2010
- You only came here because you heard the words "scrotum" and "cock" were in the same header, didn't you?—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 16:37, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- You only came here because you heard the words "scrotum" and "cock" were in the same header, didn't you?—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- I've clearly been away too long. tallks of scrotum and my name isn't even dropped. :( Orian57 Talk
- You know, I could defend him, but you're probably right. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 17:46, Mar 13 2010
- Nah, if you want someone who likes scrotum, look for Pelargonium.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
- That's not what I heard... • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 17:38, Mar 13 2010
- I am so deeply offended. I don't like scrotum at all. Cock, on the other hand, is a different matter... Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 01:45, Mar 12 2010 UTC
- Yes... a sign that
- Possibly... or maybe it's a sign? Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 01:40, Mar 11 2010 UTC
UnSignpost 11th March 2010
The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11
Mar 11th, 2010 • Issue 79 • Making the New York Times look shabby since 2008
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Investigative journalist looks in to the cabal; Shocking discovery  Many veiled references have been made to this cabal, however until now there has been no real investigative attempts to uncover the shocking truth about the cabal. However, despite this, one plucky rookie journalist has decided that the truth must be free, and an investigation into the cabal has been undertaken. Investigating this it appears that the rumours relating to a cabal have come from numerous sources. In investigating this there were a number of dead ends, including pages that appear to have been deleted with no history. One source has come forward to expose the truth about the cabal. Under threat of repercussion, this source has been asked to be known simply as Deep Throat. Upon interviewing this source the following shocking truth has been discovered! There is no cabal.
Any rumours about a supposed cabal are completely untrue. Any suggested sources are in fact fictional and have no veracity behind them. There is no shadowy, mysterious force guiding Uncyclopedia. As I, as a respected journalist, have now been made well aware of the non-existence of this cabal, I am now comfortable to retire my journalistic career. I will shortly be taking a long trip to a very remote location where there is no phone or internet access and will choose to never write again. I may even go to Antarctica. But most importantly, there is not now, nor never has been, a cabal.A useful HowTo? does not compute!
 If there were a Cabal (which, as the above article clearly establishes beyond doubt, there isn't), it would encourage you to read it and never write a bad UnNews again. |
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11:04, Mar 12
Hey
The pee list hasn't been updated in a couple days, and somebody needs to add reviews, specifically this and this. The reason I'm saying is because I haven't seen Chief in a day or two. —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 09:19, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- I'm here now, I'll do it, sorry been away for a couple of days. --Chiefjustice3DS 18:06, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- Your contract hasn't run out, Chief! Get back to work!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 19:20, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- /me commences work, but in an awesome way/. --Chiefjustice3DS 19:33, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- So... I don't have to do anything? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 22:07, Mar 14 2010
- No. You review my article, Kurdish Military Industries. • • • • 23:00 • Sunday, 14-03-2010
- heh heh heh OK, here you go. 15/50. There's no way to improve it. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 00:10, Mar 15 2010
- I demand a rereview! • • • • 02:56 • Monday, 15-03-2010
- I demand proper indentation! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 04:01, Mar 15 2010
- At least read it and tell me what thou think. Briefly. • • • • 04:12 • Monday, 15-03-2010
- Well, it's funny in parts, LOL-worthy in a few, and bland in the remaining bits. The beginning wasn't all that great, but it set it up for more humor later on. I would've liked to see a section on the suicide vests that are so heavily profiled in the opening. Other than that, spice up the intro, and you and SPIKE have got a potential VFHer. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 11:22, Mar 16 2010
- Which parts are bland? • • • • 13:43 • Wednesday, 17-03-2010
- The 2nd and third gen. sections and the AJR rifle section. Spice 'em up, please! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 18:52, Mar 17 2010
- Oh, those are the sections where I employed my evil military humour, unrecognisable to many people! Mwahahahahahaa! ... Ok, I'll see if I can add a joke or two for you, non-military-savvy folks. • • • • 22:43 • Wednesday, 17-03-2010
- Which parts are bland? • •
- Well, it's funny in parts, LOL-worthy in a few, and bland in the remaining bits. The beginning wasn't all that great, but it set it up for more humor later on. I would've liked to see a section on the suicide vests that are so heavily profiled in the opening. Other than that, spice up the intro, and you and SPIKE have got a potential VFHer. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 11:22, Mar 16 2010
- At least read it and tell me what thou think. Briefly. • •
- I demand proper indentation! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 04:01, Mar 15 2010
- I demand a rereview! • •
- heh heh heh OK, here you go. 15/50. There's no way to improve it. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 00:10, Mar 15 2010
- No. You review my article, Kurdish Military Industries. • •
- So... I don't have to do anything? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 22:07, Mar 14 2010
- /me commences work, but in an awesome way/. --Chiefjustice3DS 19:33, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- Your contract hasn't run out, Chief! Get back to work!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!!
Thanks!
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Matfen thanks you for your vote! His article could not have been featured without you... |
You are my second favorite Mormon in the world! --Matfen 11:30, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Thank you, holy nominator!
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| This user has been promoted the the rank of Queen's voter. | |
| Due to their site-topping talents in voting awards for me, all other chores formerly assigned have been rescinded. | |
| Unlike other ranks, this one is for life, and they'll do nothing other than HELP ME win awards anytime soon. | |
| If you were hoping they would reply to a message, sorry to disappoint, | |
| but such a menial task is outside of their job description. |
—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 18:51, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)
The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...
Mar 18th, 2010 • Issue 80 • Hold the line! News isn't always on time!
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VFS: it begins
Leading the popular vote at present is long-serving poopsmith and kvetcher RabbiTechno, gaining a seemingly unassailable lead by being helpful, friendly and competent, and by promising to bake cakes for all who vote for him - a ploy which may well have snared the support of more than just the odd swing voter. In a comfortable position just behind the Rabbi is lengthily-monikered Belgian workhorse Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, the joint Uncyclopedian of the Year for 2009, who seems to be gathering followers by being helpful, competent, friendly, and doing loads and loads of stuff. This cunning stratagem has obviously endeared him to the denizens of this wiki, who seem to be propelling him towards having his own banstick. But hold on, who's this coming up stealthily behind Socky? Why, it's pee review supremo and scourge of vandals everywhere ChiefjusticeDS! The Chief is steadily accumulating backers through the cunning tactic of being competent, helpful and friendly. He also rules PEEING with an iron fist, and spends inordinate amounts of time cleaning and tidying up the place, facts that have led to him coming within striking distance of the leaders in what appears to be a three-horse race. One thing is clear from this - all 3 of the most popular candidates appear to be helpful and friendly, which this newspaper finds unacceptable - where is the next Famine going to come from? where will we find an admin willing to infiban users and delete all their articles just for looking at someone the wrong way, or for being Kip the Dip? Also nominated, and receiving some support are current Writer of the Year and greatest person in the history of all things ever Hyperbole, diplomat by Uncyc appointment to all religions Optimuschris, canine broadcaster and damn fine journalist PuppyOnTheRadio, allcaps-named VFD machine SPIKE, confirmed female on the internets Zana Dark, easy-to-spell feature-machine Guildensternenstein and jaded old-timer Necropaxx. Other people have been nominated without recording a score as yet, but as this article is already long enough to have the editor wondering how many filler boxes he can dream up for the right-side panel this week, they just appear as a brief list: Mnbvcxz, Cajek, Gerrycheevers, Syndrome, The Woodburninator, Why do I need to provide this?, Charitwo and some bloke called Mhaille. Will any of them pick up a sympathy vote before the end of voting round 2? Positions vacant. The Imperial Colonization is a long standing organisation that has for years been at the cutting edge of creativity of articles for one of the world's most respected websites: Uncyclopedia. Due to a period of unprecedented growth during a time of economic downturn, as most of our members are otherwise unemployed, we are looking for a new assistant to the head of IC. This is a fantastic opportunity for you to work from home. Your daily duties will include:
The relevant applicant will have:
This is a rare opportunity. The successful applicant will become next in line to take over the reins of IC when the current head To apply, contact Why do I need to provide this? here. |
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