User:PF4Eva/CUCU
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PF4Eva
This is a page for me to show off my UnNews articles I have written thus far. And, oh boy, is this a lot! Man, I feel old!
My UnNews themes
UnNews articles I have written
2006
October
- "Halloween" remake: Zombie out, Minelli in (October 9, 2006)
- Not very good, but it was my first UnNews
- Bull of TV's "Night Court" goes on 7-hour rampage (October 10, 2006)
Formerly A NOMINATED ARTICLE - Bull of TV's 'Night Court" released from mental hospital; faces preliminary hearing (October 12, 2006)
- Bull of TV's "Night Court" cleared of charges in rampage (October 15, 2008)
- Big Brother 8 to be more like 1984 (October 18, 2006)
- Liza Minelli fired from "Halloween" remake (October 21, 2006)
- I have to pee (October 25, 2006)
- Britney Spears: Everything's a lie (October 26, 2006)
November
- Kevin Federline album released; already in bargain bin (November 2, 2006)
- Images disappearing and reappearing rapidly on Uncyclopedia (November 6, 206)
- Kevin Federline sentenced for crimes against music (November 7, 2006)
- World ends with no major news stories (November 11, 2006)
- Guitars to become extinct after guitar tab controversy (October 29, 2006)
- Texas no longer a state after OU football victory (November 15, 2006)
- Nothing happens on November 19, war declared on UnNews (November 20, 2006)
- War against UnNews cancelled after November 19 news stories are added (November 20, 2006)
- Robert Altman will not direct "M*A*S*H" prequel (November 24, 2006)
- Some guy dies somewhere (November 28, 2006)
December
- Santa Claus is not coming to town (December 5, 2006)
- Special Report: Minitrue like, totally gay (December 8, 2006)
- Original SNL cast reunites for DVD release (December 12, 2006)
- Holy crap! Peter Boyle dies at 71 (December 14, 2006)
Formerly A NOMINATED ARTICLE - Axl Rose is no longer a procrastinator; delayed album sees release (December 19, 2006)
- Santa Claus is coming to town after all (December 24, 2006)
- Iraqi dictators Gerald Ford and James Brown executed (December 31, 2006)
2007
January
- "Emma Roberts is not Nancy Drew," protesters say (January 2, 2007)
- OU Coach Bob Stoops: Boise St. must've cheated, somehow (January 6, 2007)
- Saddam TV movie filming ends in tragedy (January 19, 2007)
- Snakes on a Plane receives no Oscar consideration (January 25, 2007)
February
- Police reunite for murder case (February 2, 2007)
Formerly A NOMINATED ARTICLE - Van Halen to reunite with Roth (February 5, 2007)
- Britney Spears cast as Bull in "Night Court" movie (February 18, 2007)
March
- "Leprechaun" remake in the works (March 16, 2007)
- Josh Server officially runs for president (March 22, 2007)
April
May
- Satan arrested in Jerry Falwell death (May 17, 2007)
- Uncyclopedian fails "Guitar Hero II" at least 20 times (May 24, 2007)
June
- Charles Nelson Reilly dies at 76 (June 3, 2007)
- TV's "Boston Legal" to merge with "Night Court" (June 14, 2007)
- Rob Zombie:"Halloween will be rated G" (June 18, 2007)
August
- Ving Rhames' dog kills zombie (August 10, 2007)
- New "Halloween" movie getting little promotion; world in panic (August 20, 2007)
- Ebert & Roeper to introduce new review method (August 28, 2007)
September
October
November
- Zordon announces candidacy for President (November 7, 2007)
- Mr. Whipple squeezes Charmin, dies at 91 (November 20, 2007)
December
2008
January
- Nickelodeon no longer a kids' network (January 9, 2008)
- State of the Union Address affected by Writers' strike (January 30, 2008)
February
March
- US work places to introduce "nap time" (March 8, 2008)
- Ernest goes back to jail for remake (March 16, 2008)
May
June
- Hillary Clinton crowns herself Queen of America (June 7, 2008)
- UnNews:Smurfs live-action movie announced (June 16, 2008)
July
- Exclusive -- Is "Space Chimps" too dark for kids? (July 22, 2008)
- User writes random UnNews article in order to promote obscure articles (July 28, 2008)
August
- Obama marries Kevin Federline (August 4, 2008)
- Exclusive: Is the 2008 movie "Soul Men" cursed after Mac, Hayes deaths? (August 18, 2008)
- AC/DC releases first single in eight years; sounds exactly like their last single (August 30, 2008)
September
- Russell Brand announces candidacy at VMA Awards (September 10, 2008)
- New Mozart composition, "Master of Puppets," found in French library (September 20, 2008)
- Paul Freeman's acting career dead at 41 (September 30, 2008)
October
- ABC announces "Pushing Daisies" as last-minute Presidential Candidate during debate (October 19, 2008)
- "Pushing Daisies" to simulcast on all four major networks in order to block Obama ad (October 22, 2008)
- Obama buys airtime on CBS, NBC, FOX, to tell people to watch Pushing Daisies (October 30, 2008)
November
- UnNews:Mickey Mouse inexplicably wins 2008 election (November 8, 2008)
- YouTube changes aspect ratio to 2.35:1, users pissed (November 20, 2008)
December
- Batman snubbed at 2008 Gotham Awards (December 6, 2008)
- Barack Obama sworn in as Santa; everybody on Naughty List (December 24, 2008)
2009
January
February
March
- Rob Zombie fired from Halloween sequel, "H2," due to beard length; Daeg Faerch rehired (March 8, 2009)
- Power Rangers is surprisingly still on, canceled (March 12, 2009)
- Beetleborgs, Street Sharks, Space Ghost to hit big screen (March 25, 2009)
April
- Winkler license plate is denied (April 18, 2009)
- "Halloween 2: H2" trailer debuts on Uncyclopedia, Daeg Faerch superimposed, and more! (April 25, 2009)
June
- "Titanic" sequel canceled due to Millvina Dean death, bullshit plot (June 4, 2009)
- My damn TV won't work (June 15, 2009)
- McMahon fires Trump, dies (June 25, 2009)
- Grim Reaper commits suicide after massive week of celebrity deaths (June 29, 2009)
July
- Oscar-winning actor Karl Malden selected as new Grim Reaper (July 3, 2009)
- Walter Cronkite dies of news overload (July 19, 2009)
- Daeg Faerch fans to sabotage "Halloween II" test screenings (July 29, 2009)
August
- UnNews:Kirk Cameron warns 1980s entertainers of impending death: "You're next, Michael Gross!" (August 8, 2009)
- UnNews:Interview — Rob Zombie discusses "Halloween II" (August 12, 2009)
- Lord Zedd arrested for tresspassing; alcohol suspected (August 18, 2009)
September
- "Halloween" series to reboot after "Final Destination" victory (September 2, 2009)
- Orange soda tax championed; Kel commits suicide (September 18, 2009)
October
November
- Steven Tyler quits Aerosmith; other bands follow; Obama declares international emergency (November 11, 2009)
- A Vampire Version of "Gone With The Wind" Gets the Go Ahead (November 16, 2009)
- "Halloween II" Blu Ray and DVD announced; Rob Zombie retires (November 29, 2009)
December
- Weinsteins: "We are fucked!" (December 12, 2009)
- Eddie Murphy lives of natural causes, aged 48 (December 23, 2009)
2010
January
- Johnny Carson returning to "Tonight Show" (January 25, 2010)
Jean SimmonsGene Simmons dies; KISS seeking replacement (co-write with Zim) (January 29, 2010)
February
- Some guy named Haig dies (February 21, 2010)
- Paramount and Sea World announce remake of horror film, "Orca" (February 28, 2010)
March
- Lindsay Lohan auditions for "Halloween III" as Michael Myers (March 16, 2010)
- Runaways filmmakers to produce NSYNC biopic (March 30, 2010)
April
- UnColumns:What do you mean Ricky Martin is gay? (April 13, 2010)
- Controversial Barney episode to air uncensored (April 24, 2010)
May
- Narrow-minded Blu-ray players refuse to play "overrated" Avatar (May 3, 2010)
- Hollywood embraces porn as Hefner saves Hollywood sign (co-write) (May 8, 2010)
- UnNews Editorial:Get these people to host SNL (May 12, 2010)
- Ronnie James Dio, metal's greatest vocalist, dies at 67 (May 18, 2010) \\m// \\m//
- Haim Saban buys back rights to "Power Rangers", fans rejoice (May 20, 2010)
- Carpenter buys back rights to "Halloween" (May 21, 2010)
June
- Jason Bateman mistakes Tootsie for actual woman (June 5, 2010)
- UnColumns:Kirk Cameron warns, "1980s death purge is not over, Rick Moranis" (June 7, 2010)
- UnNews:Bruce Willis farts in "Die Hard" (June 21, 2010)
July
- UnNews:Potential 90s nostalgia reboots (July 27, 2010)
- UnNews:Obama on financial overhaul: "About damn time!" (July 24, 2010)
- UnNews:Ask Ashley: Just stinkin' unretire! Man! (July 27, 2010)
August
- UnNews:Webster changes "school" to "shcool" after embarrasing typo (August 13, 2010)
- UnNews:Star Wars Blu-rays will not include unaltered versions; fans pissed (August 19, 2010)
- UnNews:Zordon reveals that he was fired from Power Rangers for being a racist (August 30, 2010)
September
- UnNews:21-year-old black man successfully poses as newborn baby (September 3, 2010 version; there's also a May 21, 2011 version???)
- UnNews:Earl expected to unleash bad karma onto the East Coast (September 4, 2010)
- UnNews:Betty White to play Catwoman in Batman 3 (September 21, 2010)
October
- UnNews:Hatchet II director Adam Green to direct Superman reboot (October 6, 2010)
- UnNews:Shit That Pisses Me Off - The Hatchet II incident (October 9, 2010)
- UnNews:"Ace of Bass" mistakenly invited to emcee charity gig (October 21, 2010)
- UnNews:Shit That Pisses Me Off:Netflix, Iron Man 2, BTTF, Alien, etc. (October 29, 2010)
November
December
- UnNews:Fantasy Casting: The Munsters (Bryan Fuller) (December 6, 2010)
- UnNews:Ebert: Yogi Bear is shit in the woods (December 18, 2010)
2011
- UnNews:Ebert calls YouTube video "Oscar worthy"
- UnNews:Three-year-old steals, sells Biden screenplay
- UnNews:Morgan Freeman to play Bilbo Baggins in "The Hobbit"
- UnNews:Beyonce to remake Eastwood classic
- UnNews:Lincoln blamed fart on dog, historians say
- UnNews:90s kids hijack Nickelodeon, take hostages
- UnNews:Nickelodeon remasters Harriet the Spy, Good Burger for Blu-ray release
- UnNews:Uncyclopedia rolls out ugly reskin
- UnNews:Fans, celebrities celebrate Tron Blu-ray release
- UnNews:Obama: Waldo found, killed
- UnNews:Spielberg masterpiece Flintstones coming to Blu-ray
- UnNews:Great white shark eats Kevorkian; blames AC/DC
- UnNews:CBS sitcom Bad Techer has no redeeming value
- UnNews:Even Nickelodeon thinks Nickelodeon sucks now; brings back 90s shows
- UnNews:How the Halloween franchise can dig itself out of its hole
- UnNews:Universal removes Moustapha Akkad credit from Halloween II Blu-ray
- UnNews:Movie theater to split movie, concession stand, bathroom services into separate entities
- UnNews:Police mistake Black Friday lines for occupy crowds
- UnNews:TMZ: Directors trash acclaimed sequels
2012
- UnNews:Editorial - Why SOPA and PIPA are good ideas
- UnNews:Slayer announce new tour with the Temptations
- UnNews:Basketball: Pop songwriter Paul Williams helps Clippers beat Spurs
- UnNews:Bruce Springsteen recording of "Tick Tock" surfaces
- FEATURED
- UnNews:Tupac reveals he is still alive at Coachella 2012
- UnNews:Best Buy employee allegedly outs customer and former teacher on Uncyclopedia
- UnNews:What to expect when Toonami returns 5.26.12
- UnNews:Neil Young introduces high-resolution porno player
- UnNews:Romney in denial over election loss, updates official homepage
2013
- UnNews:Oscars make horrible mistake; Nolan to direct fourth Batman
- UnNews:JJ Abrams confuses Star Trek and Star Wars
- UnNews:Barney dies of brain tumor
- UnNews:I Love Lucy coming back in April on CBS
- UnNews:Christopher Nolan discusses unproduced Halloween reboot
- UnNews:Review:Ebert biopic a triumph dispite occasional flaws
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
UnNews that I've contributed to
- TV's Mr. Whipple dies of ass cancer (November 19, 2007)
- Sesame Street rated X (November 24, 2007)
- Confusion in White House as nobody agrees on election winner (November 8, 2008)
Titles I suggested that someone else wrote for me
- Britney Spears finally gets her eyes checked, files for divorce from Kevin Federline (November 23, 2008)
UnNews Audio
Intro themes
Article recordings
2008
- UnNews:Legions of George Bush impersonators to soon be unemployed (Recorded in 2017 for its 9th anniversary)
2012
2016
- UnNews:Bernie_Sanders_voted_Super_Bowl_MVP
- UnNews:Comedian Louie Anderson transitioning into woman
- UnNews:Fifty Shades of Cruz debuts on home video, quickly pulled
- UnNews:Will you marry me, Katie?
- UnNews:Queen waves goodbye, passes crown to Hillary
- UnNews:UnNews remembers Prince
- UnNews:A 90s kid remembers Scrooge McDuck voice Alan Young
- UnNews:Obama to Americans: Stop farting
- UnNews:John Carpenter returns to Halloween franchise
- UnNews:UnNews remembers Muhammad Ali
- UnNews:The state of America: Orlando, Dallas, election, and more
- UnNews:Stars unite for ultimate charity single
- UnNews:Bye Bye Bye, Lou Pearlman
- UnNews:Alzheimer's advocacy group offended by 'Never Forget'
- UnNews:Shooting of rap superstar Tupac Shakur - Update
- UnNews:UnNews remembers C. Martin Croker
- UnNews:Taco Bell to rebrand as Burger Bell
- UnNews:A few words about Trump and the 2016 election
- UnNews:Fidel Castro dies at 90
- UnNews:Who's still alive in 2016 roundup
2017
- UnNews:Ryan Seacrest spontaneously explodes when New Year's ball drops
- UnNews:Riots and protests virtually ignored by Fox News
- UnNews:All other states to follow in the footsteps of CalExit, want to leave US as well
- UnNews:Halloween update: David Gordon Green & Danny McBride to helm 11th slasher
- UnNews:Chuck Berry dies at 90
- UnNews:Hasta la Vista, baby! Windows 7 predecessor terminated
- UnNews:Sally Yates testifies in Trump-Russia investigation
- UnNews:Trump fires James Comey
- UnNews:Grand jury issues subpoenas in Trump-Russia investigation
- UnNews:Why we need a special prosecutor in Trump-Russia mess
- UnNews:Jamie Lee Curtis returning in Carpenter/Blumhouse Halloween
- UnNews:We Salute Malcolm Young
- UnNews:Tree-hugging liberal Jones slaughters sick pedo Moore in Alabama election
2018
- UnNews:The President of the United States is a racist
- UnNews:Lorde fans mistakenly attend Lordi concert
- UnNews:Chia bas the 14th letter of the Eglish alphabet
- UnNews:'Final Countdown' hitmakers want to tackle fake news
- UnNews:You're fired
- UnNews:Hasbro buys Power Rangers outright from Saban
- UnNews:Thanks for that F, Mr. Dumas
- UnNews:Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie to debut on Blu-ray as part of TV series box set
- UnNews:Watch the Halloween trailer (2018)
- UnNews:UnNews remembers Aretha Franklin
- UnNews:Madonna turns 60
- UnNews:Halloween (2018) soundtrack arriving in October
- UnNews:UnNews remembers Burt Reynolds
2019
Not mine, but friggin' hilarious anyway
- Man arrested for using wrong tomato sauce (October 16, 2006)
- Peter Jackson announces new Condensed Lord of the Rings DVD (October 17, 2006)
- Andy Griffith sues himself (November 12, 2006)
- UnNews to merge with UN News (November 14, 2006)
- Cat Steven's new album filled with great tunes, hatred (November 14, 2006)
- Buyers line up for a Wii (November 19, 2006)
- Snakes in a Car filming goes bad (November 19, 2006)
- Santa's saintliness challenged by Christians (December 2, 2006)
- Death of Pinchot sparks riots, arrests (December 11, 2006)
- Woman posing as teenage boy is actually a man posing as a woman posing as a teenage boy (April 17, 2007)
- Local guitarist uncovers hidden music in Da Vinci's 'Last Supper' (November 10, 2007)
- Obama calls for 'Eight is Enough' (August 29, 2008)
- Obama overturns Bush stem cell policy; plans clone of himself (March 9, 2009)
- Missing Link found, creationists commit suicide (May 20, 2009)
- Green Day says bad things about Wal-Mart (May 23, 2009)
- New York Times introduces "worse than Ghost Dad" rating (May 24, 2009)
- UnNews:AC/DC tickets sell out across Australia in 7 nanoseconds (May 25, 2009)
- Letterman arested for rape (June 13, 2009)
- UnNews:Pope still Catholic, but bear does not shit in woods