UnNews:Kevin Federline album released; already in bargain bin

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

2 November 2006

Kevin Federline attending the release party for his debut album, Smells Like Kevin Federline. The album was released Tuesday and is already in the bagain bin at Wal-Mart stores.

WAL-MART, USA -- Just days after its Tuesday release, Kevin Federline's debut rap album, Smells Like Kevin Federline, is already in the bargain bin at every retail store carrying the title. In fact, a Best Buy spokeman had this to say,

"The album never hit the shelves; too risky. We decided to put it in the bargain bin even before the release party. This will show that no-talent ass clown what we think of his music."

-Best Buy spokesman on the fact that Kevin Federline's album is already in the bargain bin

Michael J. Fox in a recent anti-Kevin Federline TV ad.

The sudden failure of this album may be linked to a controversial television ad featuring Michael J. Fox. Fox urged viewers not to buy the album, stating,

“This no-talent ass clown can't rap to save his life. Don't we have enough anti-music in the world? Paris Hilton? Justin Timberlake? William Shatner? If you want to buy an album you can truly laugh at, and have it contain real music on it, check out the new "Weird Al" Yankovic album, Straight Outta Lynwood!!! Al is my homeboy, man.”

~ Michael J. Fox on Kevin Federline's recent album, in a recent, controversial Television ad

Then Fox proceeded to dance to the Yankovic smash hit, "White & Nerdy." The ad has been highly criticized by Federline. "It's got to be a joke," the unrapper recently quipped. Then he began to unleash his most horrific song to date... "Popozow."

Not one copy of the album has been purchased by any human being. However, about three monkeys have bought the album, paying only with bananas. Federline and wife Britney Spears were recently asked to comment on the album's immediate failure. They declined to comment, but Federline's manager, Kenny G, had this to say:

“He even puts me to sleep! I'm only managing this loser for the money. Unfortunately, the album flopped big time. I guess I'll go back to making crappy music of my own.”

~ Kenny G on the immediate failure of Smells Like Kevin Federline

The album failed to chart on Billboard's Top 200 Albums, peaking as low as No. 666 as of last week before it was even released. Federline's label, Jive Records, has pulled Kevin Federline's second and subsequent albums from the schedule, stating, "He will not work in this town again if I can help it. Somebody get me a doctor, my ears are bleeding!"

The album was released on Tuesday, October 31, 2006. Considering the hype, this may be the biggest overhyped flop since Snakes on a Plane.