UnNews:Comedian Louie Anderson transitioning into woman

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Life with Louise?

HOLLYWOOD, California - Comedian Louie Anderson -- perhaps best known to Millennials for the 90s Fox Kids cartoon, Life with Louie, or as the host of Family Feud from 1999 to 2002 -- has revealed that he is transitioning into a woman.

"That's why I pretty much disappeared after Family Feud," he says. "In fact, that's why I left Family Feud. 'Louie' is just a lie. 'Louie' is a sad man, a dead-end comedian who spent four years revealing schmucks' answers to survey questions on national TV and seeing how Joe Contestant's answers measured up. Al from Home Improvement can do that, J. Peterman can do that, Steve Harvey can do that; I can't."

Anderson already looked like the offspring of Donald Trump and Kathy Bates, but now he looks like it more-so. But that doesn't bother him.

"I'm not doing this to be beautiful; I've always been uglier than Lemmy, Rosie O'Donnell, Roseanne, Anne Ramsey, and Large Marge all rolled into one huge burrito of ugly."

Anderson says he has been using estrogen and medical marijuana to help become more feminine. "Lots of weed, man. Speaking of which, I'm starving. You up for pizza?"

I accepted his invitation and enjoyed three whole large pepperoni pizzas with ninety breadsticks, twenty-seven cinnamon sticks, and seventy-seven buffalo wings... most of which Anderson ate.

The former Family Feud host says he officially started the process of transitioning before Caitlyn (formerly Bruce) Jenner did so, which Jenner completed last year.

"I've been transitioning for fourteen years, but officially eight. The reasons were funds, resources, the legality of pot, and the stigma against what I've been doing. But now that politics have shifted dramatically to the left, and with Jenner and everybody. And that Jeffrey Tambor Netflix show. I felt it was time. Zack Galifianakis volunteered to help me out, so long as I agreed to adopt him."

Anderson says he'll be completely a woman next year. What name will he chose? "I won't pull a Caitlyn on you. You can call me Louise Anderson. Survey says: Epic Win!"

Sources

• Caitlyn Springsteen "Louie Anderson on his extraordinary new role as a woman" Vanity Fair, January 29, 2016