UnNews:New Mozart composition, "Master of Puppets," found in French library

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

20 September 2008

French librarian Jacques Noir holds up a piece of paper displaying Mozart's metal riff.

PARIS, France -- A local French museum has found a previously unknown piece of music handwritten by classical composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, a researcher said Thursday.

Ulrich Leadsinger, head of research at the International Mozarteum Foundation in Salzburg, Austria, said there is no doubt that the single sheet was written by the composer.

"This is absolutely new," Leadsinger said in a telephone interview from his second job at McDonald's. "Do you want fries with that? His handwriting is absolutely clearly identifiable. -- What do you mean no personal calls!!??"

Was Mozart a metalhead?

The long-lost work, described as the preliminary draft of a musical composition, is titled "Padrone dei Burattini in E Minor." Despite being a newly-discovered composition, heavy metal guitarists across the globe have known the song for years, as heavy metal band Metallica's classic, "Master of Puppets."

Music historian Herman Eighthnote believes Mozart's piece was ahead of its time.


"We had no idea,(Laughs), I guess I gotta start listening to Mozart some time soon!(laughs)" said Metallica lead singer and rhythm guitarist James Hetfield of Mozart's composition. "Thank God they didn't have copyright back then! [Laughs]"

"I guess we have only one thing left to do with 'Puppets'," said lead guitarist Kirk Hammett, "Release it into the public domain."

Eighthnote also commented on how and why the work is different from previous Mozart works.


Since the discovery, thousands of classical music enthusiasts have purchased albums by Metallica, and metalheads have been turned on to classical. Metallica's entire catalog got a big boost on the charts, including their latest album, Death Magnetic, debuting at Number 1 on the Billboard 200 Albums chart.

Metallica's "Master of Puppets" lineup was Hetfield, Hammett, late bassist Cliff Burton, and drummer Lars Ulrich. The current lineup is Hetfield, Hammet, Ulrich, and bassist Robert Trujilo. "Padrone dei Burattini" is Italian for "Master of Puppets."

Sources[edit | edit source]

Slayer
Kirk HammetRobert Trujillo
Not Lars UlrichNot James HetfieldClint EastwoodLou Reed
albums
Kill 'Em AllPastor of MuppetsMetallicaMSN
songs
"Seek & Destroy" • "Foppery" • "Master of Puppets" • "Mama Sad"
related articles
MegadethUnNews:Metallica front man in beard conspiracyKitty-GiraffesJesus LaBrie