UnNews:Mimzy Has Eyes tops movie box office

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

17 April 2007

Mimzy Has Eyes movie poster

LONG ISLAND, New York -- Young movie-goers waited eagerly to see the latest cute, cuddly family film at Theater 11 at the Island 16 multiplex, along with their parents. In fact, about 50 parents and children gathered at the multiplex at 8 p.m. The movie in question, Mimzy Has Eyes, has opened at the top of the box office this week. But the film was not all cute and cuddly.

The opening scene featured, not a fluffy bunny rabbit running around in the forest with flowers and talking dogs, but a naked woman, chained to a huge brick wall inside of a dark cave. Some parents and children were so horrified at the violence, gore, sexuality, nudity, profanity, drug use, etc., in Mimzy Has Eyes, a "family" horror-slasher collaboration between Bob Shaye and Wes Craven, that they left the theater. However, most of the parents in the audience had absolutely no problem showing this graphic film to their children. "I think it's cute in its own twisted way," said John Nasty, 42, of some place you've never heard of. "There was no intro, it was horrifying. I loved it! I'm sure my kids loved it, too." When asked to comment, Billy and Mandy Nasty, both 8, cried like little girls.

Critics, however, have panned the film. Roger Ebert has responded with, "On what day did the Lord create Mimzy Has Eyes and couldn't he have rested on this day, too?," paraphrasing a line from the movie This Is Spinal Tap. Gene Shalit claims that "This film makes Plan 9 from Outer Space look like Citizen Kane!" Audiences, however, don't care, and a sequel is in the works for 2009 to compete with the potential summer blockbuster Good Burger 2.

Mimzy opened in the top spot this week, followed by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Disturbia, Grindhouse, Girls Gone Wild!!!, Wild Hogs, Dead Silence, American Idol: The Movie, TRL:The Movie, and Who Farted?

Sources[edit | edit source]