UnNews:Fifty Shades of Cruz debuts on home video, quickly pulled
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Sunday, February 14, 2016
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Washington, D.C. -- Just in time for Valanetine's Day, the straight-to-video porno Fifty Shades of Cruz was released to whatever video stores are left, across the world Friday. By Saturday, the film had been pulled from stock in fifty of those stores. Go figure.
The film is yet another pisstake on the wildly popular novel and film, Fifty Shades of Grey, in which GOP Presidential hopeless hopeful Ted Cruz (playing himself under the porn name Dingus Johnson) has a sexual encounter with a smokin' hot blonde (porn star Amy Lindsay, under the alias Barbi Dahl), whilst campaigning for president.
Not to be confused with the Wayans spoof, Fifty Shades of Black, Cruz's film is the most erotic "Krooz" movie since Eyes Wide Shut. In fact, a single sex scene takes place in one continuous take for a staggering hour and a half -- the longest sex scene in the history of cinema. But that's not necessarily why the film was pulled.
Conservative republicans and Cruz's campaign felt that a pornographic, or otherwise erotic, film was inappropriate for a man running as a GOP candidate. Cruz himself didn't think so, nor did his co-star. In fact, Amy Lindsay appeared on CNN's State of the Union with Jake Trapper to discuss the controversy.
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"People need to get over themselves," she says. "It's just a movie. What kind of world are we living in where you can't even get an NC-17 movie released in theaters? And even a straight to video movie, most of which aren't very good anyway, gets everybody up in arms. I don't get it."
When asked if she was already a Cruz supporter before the film, she replied, "Are you kidding? The only Republican candidate I've heard of is Donald Trump. I thought I was doing a movie with Tom Cruise. Then in comes some guy who I thought was Will Forte. I consider myself fiscally conservative, but there's no way in H-E-double hockey sticks that I'm voting for any of these clowns. So, no, it was just a gig."
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Sources[edit | edit source]
- Jeremy Gottlaid "Star of Ted Cruz porno defends herself" Playboy, February 13, 2016