UnNews:House rejects Frank Sinatra Day, supports Phil Hartman Day
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
20 May 2008
Washington, DC -- House members have declared "Frank Sinatra Day," but did it their way.
Lawmakers didn't get around to voting until Tuesday on declaring May 13, 2008 -- last Tuesday -- an official holiday honoring the late crooner and two-bit actor. Making up for lost time -- and lack of interest in Sinatra -- the House voted 402-3 to honor Sinatra in a completely different way. Wednesday, May 28, 2008, marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Phil Hartman, whose tenure on Saturday Night Live showcased such characters as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, The Anal Retentive Chef, and Frankenstein... as well as such impressions as Bill Clinton and an aging Sinatra.
Rep. Jose Serrano, D-N.Y., sponsor of the non-binding resolution and ostensibly the House's biggest Hartman fan, told UnNews how he was introduced to the English language by watching SNL as a kid without his parents' permission. He immediately fell in love with Hartman's unique brand of comedy. He also told us of how the House was pressured by SNL creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels to honor the comedian nearing the anniversary.
“The problem was, Ted Kennedy thought SNL died in 1980 when Eddie Murphy, Joe Piscopo, and Gilbert Gottfried joined the cast, and the other guys left. Yes, that season sucked balls, but at least Donald Pleasence got to host on Halloween of that year when Halloween II came out. Teddy and I had a huge bitch-fight over the proposed holiday. Although he hated the 1980 season, he did prefer Joe Piscopo's Sinatra over Hartman's.”
Sen. and America's Next Vice President Hillary Clinton confided with us that after Kennedy's recent seizure, doctors discovered he had lost all good taste in music. "He used to be the biggest Sinatra fan," she says, "but after the seizure, he started listening to that Nickelback shit."
Despite these setbacks, and the passing of May 14, the 10th anniversary of Sinatra's death,the House finally agreed on a celebration of two American legends.
"Phil Hartman Day" will be celebrated nationally on May 28, 2008. NBC, Fox, Comedy Central, and E!, among others, will celebrate airing nonstop Phil Hartman-related stuff, including SNL reruns, The Simpsons reruns, old 1-800-Collect commercials, Houseguest, Jingle All The Way, and Small Soldiers. And the only music video that will air on MTV, VH1, and VH1 Classic is the music video for Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher," in which he provided the voice of Waldo.
Phil Hartman died on Thursday, May 28, 1998, in a murder-suicide at the age of 49. As for Sinatra, he died May 14, 1998 of old people's disease at the age of 402 or something like that. Bah, who cares about that old grouch!
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Associated Press "Congress belatedly supports Phil Hartman's Sinatra impersonation" USA Today, May 20, 2008
- Associated Press "Sinatra-faithful doctors say Ted Kennedy has lost taste in music" NPR, May 20, 2008
